LIVE | Model Marriage Conference 2017 | Day 2 | Evening Session Part 2 | 26.10.17 | The Qodesh

churches speaking will be seasoned marriage counselors Bishop e8e sake senior pasta Kadesh lady Reverend Adelaide he would Mills first lady you do LGC Reverend and the Olson senior pasta K ICC Accra and Bishop Eddie famine in the K ICC Dominion center hallelujah some of you may have had him on winning ways Express how many of you have had him winning way to Express he's on radios sweet melody sunny FM you hear him preach him powerfully and he has a great heart for ministry and even the area of marriage he hoes the the single summit and then also he has the marriage summit as well and he has so many people attending these programs and his ministry has affected many lives and he's also authored a number of books I believe that he will probably share from one of the books today and he's happily married yes he's happily married to his lovely wife Helen your same I'm sure you all know how you've had her music she has a very sweet voice if you had hair on sweet melodies she has a sweet melody 94.3 that's the wife of God she couldn't make it because she had to prepare for some other things Reverend Andy Yasin also has two lovely daughters yeah just like myself you see it looks like they say the connection somewhere is too powerful so tonight I believe that we're going to hear from a wealth of experience you know always that you you get to hear certain things sometimes just one thing you hear it just changes your life forever and I have a feeling that this time we're gonna spend with him it's gonna be one of those times that something just dropped into your spirit and that's it you're gonna run with it for the rest of your life so I believe that marriages are not going to be the same again I believe that beloved's your relationships will not be the same again I believe that marriage counselors are gonna receive greater insight into what we are doing and I know that tonight is going with that night where God is gonna come through for you I'm very excited I can't wait we've been announcing this advertising this for many many weeks now and today he's here ladies and gentlemen please rise your feet and let's receive the Ministry of Reverend Andy your say amen that's introduction was something else I felt like I was being invited into a boxing ring praise God shall we please pray whilst we are standing Heavenly Father we thank you so much we bless you for this wonderful opportunity we ask that Lord you have your way speak to us Lord at the end of this session may your peppers alone be done in the name of Jesus may we not hear from man but from you or go we thank you we say Lord prepare our hearts and our spirits to receive your word in Jesus name we pray amen please may be seated in the presence of the Lord I want to take this opportunity to also thank the leadership of this church I always say is an honor to be invited to share the Word of God anywhere anywhere at all is an honor you know for most of us who know what the Lord save us from we know that we haven't earned the right just by his mercies that we find ourselves where we are and so I want to say a big thank you and of course especially to this house this is not a small house you know especially to this house I want to say a big thank you to the leadership and when I was told that I was invited to join the team to minister the word I said to myself God you better speak and a few days ago I was just driving up somewhere with my brother and I tend into that Akashi and suddenly I see this huge billboard and see my pictures on billboards big me nervous let me let me confess to you you know but above all I believe that this event is not an accident we put this together and I know that the very reason why this is done is that the glory of the Lord will manifest in our homes it will manifest in our homes so often we talk about or even look forward to his glory manifesting in the church the church being the four walls but the time has come for the glory to manifest in our homes we are supposed to take distance from in here and take it out there this place is only a training ground that's all it is a training ground so that wherever it is that we find ourselves whether it's a work place our homes we should be manifesting the same amen that's why I like the name of this conference model marriage may our marriages be the kind of marriages people can model themselves after because there are marriages and their marriages I've said it before and I will say it again every now and then I may say something that might sound a bit controversial just stay focused you'll be fine not every marriage not every wedding is a blessing by the time we are done with this conference you will understand what I mean and anybody who's been involved in comes to another there are some counselors here and anybody who has been pastoring will agree with me now sometimes we come with sync with dance but afterwards you find out that we're dancing something can we talk some of you look shocked or it please we are just here to fellowship together amen tonight I want to share a few things because I'm Becky again I believe tomorrow to finish off and what I want to do if it is okay with you today I know that where we have a mixture of married people and singles who are countless and all that and this evening I want to share something with you on the topic treat me well treat me well that's what I want to talk to you about it's gonna be something that would speak a lot to they're married but also to the singles and then tomorrow morning we're going to do something that will speak more to the singles and also to the marriage so it tells of the priorities tonight we want to look at the married it will also teach us a lot of things as singles and then tomorrow we swap it either way around we talk about something I would speak to the singles and a bit in there also for the married if that's okay is that okay right so we're going to do that and what I'm doing after spending some time teaching on this topic I decided to put this whole thing together in a book with our title treat me well and somewhere on this premises as a product stand I don't have a clue wait this is it this way or this way this way okay somewhere at the product stand you find this book entitled treat me well why did I even write a book with such a strange title treat me well why did I do that there is a reason you see when it comes to marriages to start with I have discovered that we have all sorts of solutions human-made solutions that you hear from different places everybody has an opinion on marriage watch you know programs and everybody's talking everybody's saying one thing on the other about how marriages ought to be done but I believe that there ought to be a clear difference between the marriages of Christians and those who are not at the moment the lines are being blurred and that ought not to be so when you walk into the home of a Christian you should be able to tell the difference in their marriage not because of their posters on their doors but the way they run their homes when we talk about modern marriage something about your home or to be a message to your next-door neighbor they ought to see your marriage and know that you have plugged into something that is of God not because you have a sticker at the back of your car and so I'm very passionate about this subject and by the way I'm going to teach when you've had enough just popped me in our stop that's what I'm here to do so I will bear your instruction I do get be passionate about this for a number of reasons and some of the things are things that maybe we may not be saying it too much from our pulpits because they may upset people but I think it's important we do that why did I come up with that title treat me well I got a bit worried when I come across people married people both men and women who tend to find a very easy treating other people nicer than their own spouse can we talk I'm gonna be worried about that something bothers me about it when you have the brother who is nice so nice to almost all the sisters you can find in church but when you talk to his wife it's a different story something is wrong what is that to treat your secretary better than your wife something is wrong when your secretary spills the tea you say Agnes is okay just just just gonna sort another one out but when your wife spills the tea you give a two-hour lecture and you define her genealogy for her because she's filthy there is something wrong with that arrangement the time has come for us to go to the basics and get things right because if you cannot treat the one your covenant partner right I have a problem with your testimony and that is what drove me to put this book together because if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together we better enjoy the journey we better enjoy the journey and it was not meant to be torture it's supposed to be enjoyed marriages are to be enjoyed not endured please understand it I know some times can we talk I know sometimes some people let me just keep this between you and I sometimes some people are a bit of a bad Advent for marriage may I ask you permission because you see when you are a nice joyous person then you get married six months later if in a smile is a problem you say oh because I have responsibilities in marriage my brother is not about responsibilities something's got to be fixed and I'm believing God that by the time this conference is over nothing will be fixed so that your home and my home will be a testimony now let it be that 20 years after being married when people see you they will still see that marriage is a joyous thing I believe God is raising those kinds of families families who have model marriages so that the next generation will be able to model themselves after your marriage may that be your testimony [Applause] that is what I always desire that young men and young women will come to my home and without me saying anything they will leave the place saying I want my marriage to be like this one and I believe that would be your testimony amen before we start talking about this and that treats me well I want to share certain keys with us but you see before we start talking about these keys let me also share another thing with you it may sound slightly controversial to many but I think that they are also quite a number of counselors who will also agree with me most of what we sometimes [Applause] let me not say anything praise God let's welcome lady revin are delayed she was with us last year she was a serious blessing praise God let me say this you see most of what we sometimes refer to as secrets to successful marriages are really no secrets they know why do I say that in a strict sense there are no secrets what they are simply principals on the Word of God which every Christian married or not should live their lives by that's what they are but we've got a lot of what I believe almost 90% of what we call secrets of successful marriage they actually are no secrets if you'll only live according to his word 95% of our so-called issues will go we just need to understand it so we set up you see why we see the truth of the matter is this let me expose some of the secrets of my brother here because what he says is that we're normally we don't listen so you have to find another package in it so we go with package ourself we are having a special conference and this and then you come and we'll teach you the word again because the truth is we can't teach you anything else it is the word that makes the difference so when I talk about treats me well let me tell you this I'm not going to be telling you some strange things we are going back to the foundation because if the Foundation's be destroyed what will the righteous do there are no secrets is going back to the world the only reason why sometimes we make distance sounds so complicated is this is there for most of us we get used to what I refer to us going to change so as a single person for example you go to church you live home and you come to this fantastic edifice say I've come to church do you know what happens when you get married on the day you get married whichever auditorium you get married in as you live the altar on your way home for the first time if you have not been practicing it for the first time church comes home with you what do I mean by that it is easy to come to church and come and do your church thing you know we all have our church thing consciously or unconsciously we all have a church thing we put on our church behavior but when you get married you did part of the church with you to your house from that day onwards you can no longer do want in a home and come back in church and come and do your thing because the church is living with you at home and that is where people start to have issues because it is not adding to your problems it's just exposing what has already been there I hope you understand what I mean by that so when I talk about treats me well when you look in the Word of God verse 31 tells us a lot we talk about the progress that one woman we're not going to focus on that for today because even for that and I know the brothers love profits that you want we'd love to teach it to an expository teaching and break it down the progress that you want woman before you go for the progress that you want woman and you teach your wife the profits that you want woman you ought to be a progress 5 man one of these days we will dip into that well because sometimes we like to you know dwell on certain things as long at the responsibilities on someone else we bring out our charismatic finger then we say mm-hmm you you are not the poverty one before you get to 31 do five as a man to five is that drink from your own system Steve for Austin let me not take that route amen so there are things we need to understand when it comes to that now one of the things about the progress that if one woman that we talk about is if you look at verse 10 to verse 12 it says who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far more than rubies and we like to quote it the heart of a husband safely trust in her is say so that he doesn't have any lack of gain she does him good not evil all the days of her life who want to have somebody who would do you good all the days of your life and if you don't then you have a problem we all do and that's what leads me to the question now if you all do why then is it that it's almost becoming common that you come across a husband or a wife who were quite easily treat other people better than their own spouse that is what I set out to work on because it has to change it shouldn't be a case and most counselors will bear me out that you are seen as the nicest person outside but when we talk to people in your home it's a different story so much so that sometimes even those in your home are afraid to tell the real story because they don't think anybody would believe them that should not be your story that should not be your story don't put effort in trying to look good on the outside put effort in trying to be good be authentic be genuine so that you don't have to put too much effort in trying to look ok on the outside I find out in our society we spend more time trying to look good in the eyes of everyone so if you will be fighting like cats at home when it's time to attend the funeral we all patch up nicely and we walk together and go to the funeral and we do acting so that they will say mr. and mrs. cumson they are getting on very well we put in more effort doing that than rather sitting down and sorting out ourselves do you know when you get it right at home when you go out you don't have to pose what is genuine is genuine it doesn't even need too much advertisement and that's what we ought to spend time doing that is why I like a conference like this if you build it well you don't even have to pose to anybody in fact there will be people who will notice how blessed you are without you telling them they will look at you and say this your marriage it is very it looks very good how do you manage it there's an opportunity for you then to be able to share a testimony amen what are some of the keys that will help us to learn how to treat each other well where are some of the keys key number one let's keep it simple key number one we all need to remember that first you are a child of God remember that first you are a child of God you are a child of God before you became a husband or a wife or a future husband or a future wife what do I mean by that you see whichever way we look at it our relationship with God or to come first before anything else what would be our marriages and whatever challenges may come with it does not give you an eye that grounds to disobey God no marriages don't tempt us from the obedience to the Word of God what do I mean by that you know time will not allow us to go to all the details but most of you will know about the story of Adam when Adam sinned in Genesis 3 when the Lord comes to him and the Lord basically calls upon him as the Adam where are you now eventually he shows up and he start to tell his story I heard your voice and because I was naked I was afraid I went to hide he tells all the story and God asked him a simple question he says number one who told you you were naked but then he said have you eating from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you what was Adams response then the man said the woman whom you thou givest to me or if you have New King James you can put that one down the woman who down the question was simple have you eaten from the tree I don't know by hearing the word woman in that question have you eaten from the tree is that the woman which thou givers to me she gave me of the tree and I added it's a simple answer have you eaten of the tree yes I have eaten no I have not eaten but the woman because is trying to explain the circumstances I will read this as if if you had not given me the woman I will not have eating and guess what after today we also do the same thing we are so trying to use a marriage to actually defend why we have disobeyed God the question to Adam Oh simple have you eaten of the tree that I the LORD commanded you not to eat in other words have you broken my commandment or not Adam said wait let me explain that is not the answer that is not the answer in other words you see everything the Word of God tells us we cannot use our marriage no matter how challenging it has become as a way of actually declaring that because of special circumstances I am exempt from obeying the Word of God why do I say that let me give you a quick example and I will move on as we are all sitting here and a lot forbid this will happen but as we are all sitting here if for some strange reason I call upon my sister here what's your name please Pam I call upon my sister here and for some strange reason I hit her on the head who happen if they look up police finds me have assaulted somebody it's a simple matter so how can it be right as a child of God if I happen to marry pal and then I hit you on the head and somebody says why did you he takes a to understand posture you don't understand you don't understand why I hit there if you knew the way she was behaving you have have you eaten of the tree have you broken my commandment before you use your marriage license as your exemption certificate from the Word of God go and check Adam when he finished his speech take note God didn't say okay I understand I understand your mitigating circumstances so you can go free no no no no he said you have disobeyed his word because whatever you do you arrest a child of God taking someone to the Isle does not suddenly exempt you I'm a husband and the wife so I can do whatever because even God understands have come to humbly suggest to you the only thing God understands is his word which he said to you so whatever we do let's first bear that in mind you are first a child of God it's so important it is so important that we get that because I found now to see most of the things that make marriages work I have discovered and know things that come to us naturally the other things that come to us naturally what do I mean by that there are things that come to us naturally for example the average person is naturally selfish naturally we look out for ourselves first you don't need to teach anybody to be selfish happy noticed that the average person when you offend them when you hurt them they want to retaliate fairly natural very very natural the average person when they have something they want to hold on to it even babies you have to teach them how to give you can give a child a gift and you say can I have some [Music] that's what they do with it because they love it look it's natural but the things that we talk about being natural selfishness guess what a good key to a good fulfilling marriage itself less nests so how do you from something that comes natural to come and do something that is super natural or something that's almost normal but when it comes on the other side is almost abnormal it's only by the Word of God that is why we need to understand you were first a child of God without that frankly you are treading on dangerous grounds amen you are first a child of God and once I'm at it let me quickly touch on it this is the reason why please we plead with you brothers and sisters why yet to go into the covenant called marriage this is the reason why we always stress that is important you marry somebody who is born again why apart from the second Corinthians is 14 which now you know it by heart the truth is this it is your relationship with God that will influence the choices that you make when you know you afresh the child of God it is God's Word that will influence your choices let me surprise you with something in case you did not know for those of you who maybe are looking forward to getting married you are on your way what will keep a husband or a wife faithful it's not your smartness it's not because you are so whacked don't over pamper yourself so to bust your bubble when you get married to the person you are not going to be with them 24/7 no but what will keep a man faithful is the fear of God that's all of it not because we are going to find private investigators to be chasing them give yourself a break is the fear of God and that is why we always it is important that when you make that choice you make the choice of someone who knows that they are actually children of God they have a relationship with God because when that is taken away well now we have no basis to work on let me even drop this in whilst we're at it I'm sure you I have had it several times I just I need to drop this one quickly you have a several times especially sometimes amongst I mean both sometimes it is some council estates but you see then we need to keep it in check we say things like oh you know what because if you don't take care good care of your husband you are pushing him into other people's hands how many husbands are in this house oh let me see and how many husbands and future husbands are in this house I'm sure we have them if you are a man you don't belong to any of the two there's an all-night coming I am very sure there's an ordinate coming wish I deal with that word but you see what we say that sometimes it sounds nice what can I tell you something for every man in this house when you look at marriage you go into marriage marriage is not just a social construct marriage is a covenant and so it takes Covenant people to go into covenant now why am I saying that as a covenant man a covenant husband was a relationship with God even when your so-called wife or wife to be it's not doing what they are supposed to do it is still not a reason to sin against God because you are first a child of God before you became a husband or a wife let's not start running our homes simply based on some few traditional beliefs that we have been bite and smuggled into the house of God and so something happens to say pastor you can't blame me you can't blame me is the way she was behaving have you eaten of the tree that I commanded you you are telling stories remember remember so that you don't become a husband sometimes I've been here the expression it makes me with my skin crawls when I hear this oh and if you're not careful your husband will be stolen by somebody any husband that can be stolen has a problem because it's an indication of your value I um were baffled that they will pick you like that no for me I think even as a man when somebody makes that statement I should feel offended then I can be stole I am NOT some little assets lying somewhere as somebody a personal affect somebody can grab and run off with no I'm a man of covenant if my covenant is a covenant with God that's where my covenant is is one with God before I made a covenant with my wife so before I even saw my wife I had a relationship with God the Father that is supposed to last all through my life may God raise covenant men and covenant women in his house or something oh this stone and some people they even love to present themselves to be stolen step up because you have people let's be honest gosh I don't know why I'm going this way it is well let's be honest we have people who sometimes sits in places of authority that would defend this kind of thing say I see young lady you see you didn't take care of him well that's why he has gone outside out way out where have you eaten of the tree that I commanded you as far as God is concerned it's a simple matter you don't say to God the woman who did mean was not cooking that was not the question remember you are first a child of God before anything comes in amen the ring will change your marital status is not supposed to change your spiritual status my a child of God that's it so we shouldn't sit in a counseling rooms almost fighting with a counselors because you want to do something nice against the Word of God and the counselor says no and you tell the counselor you you don't know anybody who said Konstantinos snd what I'm talking about know who our friends the child of God amen let me quickly move on I don't want to do an all-night here second key this one I'll give it to their husbands and on our balance it with an S key for the what-ifs I don't want anybody to be chasing me in the car park after this the Bible says an efficient chapter 5 verses 25 to 28 I want us to read it if possible in the message translation if we can find the message translation efficiency up to five thank you very much can we read it together please we can try it okay ready and read husband's go all out in your love for your wives exactly as Christ did for the church a love mapped by giving not getting Christ's love makes the church whole his words evoke her beauty everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her dressing her in dozen white silk radiant with holiness and that is how husband's ought to love their wives so if you are sitting next to your husband tell him do yourself a favor it says husband's Cola all out all out in your love for your wives exactly exactly as Christ did for the church a love that is marked by giving not getting it then he says how his love makes the church whole his words evoke her beauty everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her all that is simply saying because at the end when you get to verse 28 he says it does that so that he will present the church to himself all that is simply saying is Christ is investing in the church so that he will be able to bring the church to herself full of glory radiant and glorious guess what every husband ought to be ready to invest in their wives and the husband's shall say so my second key to you is invest in your wife now when I talk about university of wise I'm not just talking about money although money cannot be excluded sorry guys but it says here Christ paid that ultimate price just to beautify the church everything he does is to bring the glory out he says everything he sees is to bring the best out of her when you are investing in your wife even your words are supposed to bring the best out of her your words are supposed to bring the best out of her you are supposed to say things that would build the person up will encourage the person because guess what it is your investment is actually your investment my fellow brothers you and I have absolutely no business treating other women better than your wife you have no business no yeah it's because you know the way my secretary treats me is much nicer she is not your wife it's an investment but interested in is this when it comes to that aspect whatever you invest in Europe oh yes you will reap so it's an investment in terms of your relationship with your wife it is an investment as Christ did to the church so we ought to because if we invest the wrong things guess what we will reap the wrong things if anybody sees your wife looking battered bruised broken and disgusted we are looking at your investment yes that's why as a pastor sometimes I find it very sad when I come across a husband who goes around everywhere telling everybody how deficient their wife is she doesn't even know how to do this she can't do this we've been mindful ten years as I'm listening I'm also looking at a person and I'm saying you are telling me how well you have invested in fact you just showed me your report card and all I can see is ffffff you advertising you are advertising so rather than spend time saying I can't you see it's just my sauce wife my brother invest start investing if your words does not bring the best out of her and it brings the worst you will get the worst to the extent that some people when they close from work they can't go home they don't want to go home they want to do over time when there's no overtime do you know why because by the time you get home your investment is waiting for you if you open a bank account and you never deposit any money in it very soon even the bank will come and look for you do you know why your account to be in the red because they've been taking monthly maintenance fee out of it and now it's in the red under there you show up in the banking Hall they will grab you because you have not invested in the same way if you rest well when you show up even a banking home they take you to a place for prestige banking why because you invest it and you are getting it back in first in your wife some of us work in the corporate world and over the years the few years I spent in the corporate world I learned something so dangerous amid the corporate worker make you feel so good about yourself and they give you the impression that is forever they are flying you around the world your names are places you in hotels that you know it's just so nice but what we forget is this when all of it is over where do you go you go back home and when you get home your investment will be waiting for you those in finance has something they call ROI return on investment it's when you get home you'll get your returns you are not going to get someone who is fulfilled and excited or someone who has drawn the batterer line it is your investment and that is why in the message translation he says husbands they are really doing themselves a favor because at the end of it if you don't remember anything at all as a husband always remember this a happy wife is a happy life oh yes a happy wife is a happy life when a wife is unhappy I don't care how tough you think you are you will know that something in the atmosphere is not right you can act as if you don't care but truly if you are acting as if you are sleeping you know that things are not clicking you are getting your returns in fresh that's why it says do yourself a favor learn how to invest because at the end of the you will reap that investment amen you see this is also why I say this please let's be careful even when you start maybe you just started your marriage you'll be married for a few months let's also be careful even when we look up to other people you see someone with my for 20 years and they flow so well and then you feel like elbow in your husband or your wife say look look at just look at them and look at you look at you see the way they are they are flowing and look look at you please slow down you are looking at 20 years investment going over there you just started they wanna go interest for two months you are comparing so much slow down not all of us started like this when you see my wedding photograph you will know that the Lord is good l forever my brother you will know we start that somewhere but the investment has to be done amen let me move on throw one more in please stop me when you are ready because I told you I'm very passionate about these things because I'm very convinced your marriage should be a testimony in your neighborhood people should even without you say anything it should get to a point when they have challenges they'll knock on your door see and it comes all the honor comes love because they've been watching Oh their watch even the hardcore unbelievers who sometimes insult you for being Christians they still envy a marriage in secret when it's working but it's not the one where noise coming out of your house and did they come in separate you and then the next morning you are in the car we are going to church that's not your portion amen and the quickly move on Ephesians 5:33 visions 533 I read this one for the sake of time visions 533 in the amplified version visions 533 an amplified version it says however lets each man of you without exception love his wife has been in a sense his own very self and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him regards him honors him prefers him venerates him and esteems him and that she defers to him praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly I think the sister should read this one now don't you think so some of you guys who have been looking at me I see faster what are you doing I think that says that you read it but nobody says then he says she should also see to it that she respects reverence the husband notices regards honest prefers when reads esteems him that she did first to him princess him loves and admires him exceedingly not aboriginal exceedingly not that one who when it comes to museum oh yeah your food is with you somewhere no ad mass him exceedingly in other words adore your husband that's the key at door we are not supposed to tolerate at door your husband adored the husband us what he says their ex teams and venerates in fact i don't want to scare you but when you read it and you study it critically it's close to worship the words that I used to them it's very high level of honor you are giving to someone for lunch really esteem friend rates you've had the term venerable one who's to be esteemed my sister that's your husband and may I see another thing that may be a bit controversial but I'll say it anyway after that I ran away which obey the favor I will pick up the pieces adorn your husband you should not get to the point where you adore your pasta more than your husband the pasta is not your husband in fact you don't know the pasta yes because you meet the pasta me listen to you on Sunday in church so it is smallest then why are you not like pasta so please give the guy a break you cannot adorn your pasta above from your husband so we handle anything anyhow and Hosmer season throw us here somewhere when you hit the pasta is coming you spring clean the house five times any domestic worker you bring them you will lecture them on etiquette when pastor comes move this way put the people this week and even the husband is watching saying I never knew you had such hospitality skills the husband is amazed then suddenly the pastor works in sometimes you people you give us too much trouble so even the pastor comes in the guy doesn't be welcome the pastor property because the addresses are supposed to come to him you're the pastor you have stolen that thing the when they see the pastor god bless you who doesn't I've been feeling free because we turn it the other way around Abdur your husband that's what the Word of God says and you see let me see this that is why if you have to adore the husband and by the way in case we didn't know let me shake a quick secret with you all these husbands we go around looking all macho breaking news every husband likes appreciation every husband likes to be adored we work away looking all hard as if we don't care we do we do that's the truth we do we work away I said well we don't we do we do even when the pastor is preaching and I know it never happens in this house because I know the kind of house you come from but I know pastors preaching people are shouting but I'm still looking to see what the wife's reaction is because it means more to him than all of you that's the truth it's a secret just keep it like that we are like a precision we do know we do we all like appreciation but you see the question then is if we are to adore the husband then for those of us who are yet to go into this thing called marriage what does it mean if the position of the husband requires that you have to learn to adore this person Adam Adam exceedingly then please when you are choosing choose well because you already know the conditions you know the terms and conditions you are supposed to adore him exceedingly so if you compromise at the beginning and tomorrow we'll talk about that will talk about 25 questions you should be answering during caution because sometimes this cost-shifting we spend to my tangents to keep cool together look it's an interview you are about to appoint the CEO of your life when you make a proposal it's a two-way thing my sister is a two-way thing it's not that all they have proposed so I should say yes no is there to it you're about to appoint a CEO one you are supposed to our door so if it's someone that you are required by scripture to adorn shoes well don't go and mess up and choose some someone yes and break that person in and then you come and say a pastor what do you mean by adored is black an ad if you you know no I don't know I don't know remember what I said you at the beginning the basis is the Word of God it's not me that said it you are supposed to outdoor so if you are supposed to adore the person choose well to compromise and then later you come and force the part you angry with everybody you force the pastor well I'm with everybody because you feel as if they are not on your side the truth is that we cannot break the word of God no we cannot because we are also Christians we the same God we are serving amen he's the same God we are serving so please that's what this should be telling us if you are yet to make that choice don't compromise because if you compromise you still have to adore the one you choose [Music] if that guy has been let me not go into tomorrow if that guy has been drinking and you have been hiding it from everybody else because all you want is you want the weight guess what after they get married you have appointed you'll see you own who moves under various kinds of spirits and you are supposed to at door don't come back and come and fight it to be your bed you here and how can I do Bible say actually submit pastor this one I cannot please I didn't write the Bible you didn't choose well and once you have chosen and we declare you man and wife don't disturb looking for technicalities [Music] let me know go there I'm tempted to let me know go there we'll cover that tomorrow talk about that more amen though your husband lent you see I am a great believer in us making sure that we are treating ourselves well and that we're not abusing each other when it comes to marriage and so sometimes for example I hear some people who of the shall we see the remains liberation persuasion I hear them say things and frankly largely I agree with a lot of things that they see sometimes God they are trying to bring a certain balance but it is not a license for us to disobey the Word of God it has never been no it has never been so let's get this right if you cannot add or your husband you are busy at door in your boss it is wrong when your boss calls you drop everything even the conversation you're having with your husband you just walk away with some incense call it it is not a testimony it is not I believe our homes are going to be a testimony in Jesus name let me quickly move on to one more point can I squeeze one more in okay thank you very much first Peter chapter 3 first Peter chapter 3 verse 8 and 9 want to read this first Peter chapter 3 verse 8 and 9 this is what it says in a message translation please give me the message translation thank you very much is that a summoner be agreeable be sympathetic be loving be compassionate be humble that goes for all of you no exceptions no retaliation no sharp tongue Sarkozy instead bless that's your job to bless you will be a blessing and also get a blessing bless that's your job bless this I put under a simple point four and I say be gentle let's be gentle and I'll explain that very quickly God the scripture has a lot anytime when I allow me it says we should be agreeable sympathetic loving compassionate be humble he says that goes for all of us both husbands and wives it goes for all of us you see I told you that these principles they are not secrets in terms of marriage no secrets this is basic Christian principles in the word it says be gentle to all quick digression and I include the house help oh sorry is a ki CC thing if I whenever I do that you know you're supposed to respond not he also include the house help why do you you salt somebody's daughter just like that one if you are going to judge it's not a testimony will do their house help through what they live in a boys Cortez in heaven we are all one in Christ so to add an white digressed and jumped into that but I know whenever that happens I know that God wants me to mess up in your business be gentle let's be gentlemen and I says it goes for all of us you see because unfortunately some spouses have so trained at Punk they can send you to hospital just with the word of the amount and unfortunately sometimes you even come across you are proud of it I told him my piece really congratulations no it says be gentle be sympathetic why because once again we don't want a situation where we are sympathetic with other people but when it comes to our spouse no we are sympathetic with other people you are working with somebody they're working with their sister to church and then they drop their Bible are you quickly bent down and grab you for them the sisters looking sad is my such a gentleman his own wife cross the Bible look at you simpleton like this yeah dropping this everywhere and when we finish we walk into the house of the Lord no hey well she's the one who got for the rest of your life because it's a tragedy to be walking around so that you just have people other people admiring you for who you are not yes but in actual fact you are not because my being fake you are being fake no let's learn to be gentle with one another it's amazing the power of it time on alarm you want to go to judges 16 I'm sure you've read but this is a house that your well thought you know about Delilah it's amazing how Delilah achieved what the whole army of the Philistines could not achieve through gentle persuasion Delilah had the whole Samson's head on her lap she didn't have a gun do you have a knife nothing gentle persuasion you say strong man you are tired just take a break I can see that you are tired looking at you girls just take break and they take of all the locks they all army of the fittest and they tried everything that is not working gentle persuasion can achieve a lot more than breathing threats if you don't do this out where you going where are you going sometimes had people say things like if you don't change this there shall be no peace in this house what their confession and when you finish then you are brain you have prayed at there shall be peace because with your mouth you have created the mountains I don't know about you but I always say I will choose wisdom over deliverance anything anything I will choose wisdom about deliverance do you know why when you walk in wisdom it will not lead you into situations where you will need deliverance yes because to be delivered is to be rescued but one thing about the wisdom of God progress 24 3 & 4 tells us by wisdom a house is built by understanding it is established by knowledge the rooms are filled with precious and plenty of things when you work in wisdom you avoid the traps so you wouldn't even be in need of deliverance when you don't work your wisdom every day we are coming to deliver you you realize that yes through lack of wisdom you can do things that will need deliverance you are going to hit your wife you are in the cell we are coming to bail you unfortunately if we are walking in wisdom will have to come and deliver you from that place I hope you understand what I mean the wisdom of the word of God you can't beat it when you walk in that wisdom you will look and you would think like you have 40 years older than you really are people look at you and say well how come you are so wise it's not you is the Word of God amen if we run our homes by the Word of God you will be amazed what God would do in your home as much as we know that Delilah's motive was an evil one it was a deceitful one the truth is that she has a lesson to teach us now with gentleness was able to actually achieve what a whole army cannot achieve we should be gentle with one another after all if this person is going to be with you for the rest of your life don't you want to handle with care' what you supposed to be with you for the rest of your life your spouse is not disposable so you handle with care have you noticed even way if you live in a small room in a compound house if you buy a very very expensive shoe and there's no room in your how you work to put it and you have the expensive shoe and you have a child what their next door next to it what do you do something has to be outside what do you put outside why they're channeling what is of a lower funding is disposable so you put it there if they steal it you buy another one but not sure that you bought with half of your month's salary if you are not careful it will be on your bed is the value that you put on it that's all it is is the value is the value it's the value let me add this to it please see you're still keep me on track be graceful be graceful in your speech be graceful in your speech efficient stamp to four verse twenty-nine fishin's 429 says in the amplified version fishin's 429 then I must say it's almost a bit his new city strange when you are sharing something like this among Christians but you see Paul knew what he was doing when he said this official is 429 he said let no foul or polluting language or evil word no unwholesome or worthless talk ever come out of your mouth but only such speech as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others as is fitting to the need and the occasions that it may be a blessing and give grace God's favor to those who hear it I told you in the old King James II say that the minister graty's to the Harris I told you they are no so-called secrets because once again this applies to all of us it applies to all of us how we use this determines the way our home functions and let me say this too especially with us charismatic Christians sometimes we mistakenly think that spiritual growth and the science of it is all about what we do when we come to church no the noisiest person during worship it's not necessarily the most spiritual or as we sometimes say in our palace they were on fire no a level of obedience to his word like this will show you your level of maturity if something happens in your home and you will make sense statements like and I like the way say let me know let me go back to it when he starts he says let's not foul techno disease let's not what does he mean by let not permits not in other words is within your ability to actually monitor what comes out so let's not keep saying I don't know what came upon me or they'd ever did it know that ever did not do it your mouth is a kid and you are actually a keeper of that kid it's not every time you have to talk there are times when when you scan what is about to come out it hasn't passed this fast so you decide to close the gate until the right thing is processed and you deliver it let's not foul things come up you are in control of it don't see when you don't know what she did what you did I just felt like as I said it really it says let not this come out of your mouth you have the right to control it let's be careful what we say because when it comes to that area is an indication of your level of maturity that's actually where to maturity is shown once a while you come across before big statements like this and the counselors will bear me out something happens to someone Missy's value I will show you my true colors have you heard that one before question so all these Wildwood Kalahari be looking at by your own confession you are actually now declaring that in actual fact you be fake you have exposed yourself I will show you my true colors really no he says we should not let you see I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm beginning to think even some of the things that we spend time praying on as much as they are important we need to expand the things we pray on when it would pray prayers of dedication prayers that were also build us up in the various areas of our own life not just custom and binding because some things are not of the devil some things i a matter of growth and we need the guidance the wisdom of God and His grace to be able to bear the fruits in Galatians 5:22 becomes your target you will become a mature Christian and anybody who lives with you will be blessed right sometimes somebody can shout them bind demos you arrived ahead of before but the smallest thing they start to talk and what comes out of their mouth it's not even printable that should not be yours in Jesus name Amen the reason being when we do these things we forget that we are raising children and for most of us when you are raising children you tell the child look don't use foul words don't do this and we forget it's not really what you say that they do it's what you do that's what they do every truth that you teach the only effective way to teach the truth is to model the truth model the truth be an example let no man despise your youth but be thou an example exemplary 11 so if I say don't insult don't do this and this once I've said it once I don't need to say it again if for the next 3 years they have never hear an insult in my home naturally it will become they are known if they go out and somebody's resort in their wife do come home and see daddy I saw something stream today I saw that uncle calling me aunt whatever why it's strange to them because you have brought them up in the fear and nature of the Lord I hope you understand what I'm talking about be grateful because even the next generation benefits from it even the nutritional benefit it's not just about that I brought them to Sunday School no get it right at home so that we don't confuse their children oh yes God they do confuse sometimes when what we are here in chair doesn't match what they are seen at home they start to buy their time as soon as they are old enough to make any decision when you say let's go to church you say I'm coming you will see them because they be confused we have to be consistent be graceful be graceful in what you share with one another don't say things that is not a testimony don't make statements like oh you I never loved you or even the worst ones I wish I had to be married Peter Mary what I've come to find out with those things is I see when you make certain proclamations perhaps 18:21 tells us death and life lies in the path of the tongue those who love it will eat all the food thereof when you make section proclamations even apologists will not take you back if you say to your husband I wish I had married poor and his gyms and Paul happened to be his friend and as the devil we'll have it that's what then next time you go to the mall guess who you see poor and innocent posted oh how are you people doing James is looking and it's a remembering and then when his face changes you see James can't you forgive and forget it's easier said than done happy notice that most of us even things that we were told when wearing class 5 in primary school you still remember up to now how many years has that been the brain is a powerful thing so if you saw that kind of seed you have created a problem for us please be graceful in your speech be graceful in your speech you don't always have to talk when you to the point where you think look I'm losing it keep quiet say nothing it's better silence cannot be quoted just stand him yo what's going on your head to keep those gates closed help me Lord help me Lord help me Lord help me and when sit somewhere and you get to pray in tongues after a while guess what the Holy Spirit itself will work you down you'll come back and say how you doing my sister they don't know the process you have been through thank God they can't scan your brain and read your thoughts from there it is better let no follow my word in all contingencies let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth don't let it flow so pastor I have done I had to say something so I said it please please I have time for one more one more thank you yes just work more that's what I could do Falcons you like this we are going to go on forever try as much as possible like I said it is somewhere on the product stand again so you can follow they are 15 of them I've only done five I'll do that six that I stopped and for those of you who are or watching it live or what have you go on Amazon amazon.com you can get it it's on all the books I write on Amazon so he can get on amazon.com let me just add one more and I stopped officience for 26 and there was a jump to 32 officials for 26 simply says be angry and do not sin and let not the Sun go down upon your wrath be angry and do nothing and do not let the Sun go down on your wrath first time I read this book I got very confused because actually says be angry what kind of thing is that one he says be angry and do not sin question is is alga a bad thing or a good thing those who believe is good let me see behind those who believe is bad anger let me see behind few those who want to sit on defense that's fine well quickly I mean anger is an emotion that's all angles unless actually neither positive nor negative what you do with it determines what you get jesus walks into the temple and he sees people who are selling selling cows and changing money and he brings out a whip and he throws them out and he overturns their tables I tell you he was not worshiping the I was not worship that that and that was not gentle Jesus meek and mild that was Lion of Judah over 10 stables I mean can you imagine bishop comes to church and start over ten people's he will make the news that's Jesus over tended them and threw them out he said you people you have made my home a den of thieves it's supposed to be the house of breath that was unhappy intend to correct something that has gone wrong in a house I hope you understand what I mean uncle be used well but we also know Moses for example got fed up with lead in Israel at one point when God said points at the rock he said you poor you don't listen he struck the pin and God once again goes ever I didn't tell you to strike that thing you disobeyed because you were angry neighbor and God and God was finished in so anka is an emotion it's neither good nor bad but what you use it for is the most important thing now I had to say that because sometimes people say are bad you know when I married you shouldn't be angry that's not realistic you were good be angry sometimes we all do get angry what you do with the anger is what matters maiya anger push us to do things that would rather build a home when you notice that it has been going on for too long you're unless you push you to find a solution go to Gaza go up please this is getting out of hand show me what I'm supposed to do not be breaking glass verse 32 Ephesians 4 says and be kind to one another and that includes your spouse tender-hearted forgiving one another just as God in Christ forgave you so my last point for tonight is 41 forgive one another like I said you anger will come but understand what you do with it would determine whether it would be a positive or negative people of God the truth is forgiveness is the only thing thou will give your marriage the next opportunity sometimes you run into a conflict something goes wrong and I know sometimes as counselors we say oh when there's a problem in a marriage normally is 50/50 the truth is that there are times when it's not 50/50 there are times when is 100 zero in other words one person has messed up what we do this is where forgiveness becomes a powerful tool Colossians 3:13 tells us he says very good one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another if it as Christ forgave you he says you also must do now let me quickly chip in you see this is what makes it very interesting in a marriage forgiveness is a very powerful tool the fact that you forgive somebody doesn't mean you don't learn from that experience because sometimes we confuse that no you learn from it but you have to learn to forgive so that you can move on to the next stage and whenever you are in a position to forgive your spouse for something they have done let me use King James English I beseech you please do it quickly forgive them without a long speech because as long as night follows day guess what it will be a change soon in need of forgiveness this is what I have discovered I haven't been remarried for too long I just celebrated my twenty-fifth anniversary but I have learned something I have learned something it's up we are looking at me thinking a dismal boy one day I shared secrets with you maybe I'll share disagree - now I only have one problem and it's a problem that I know Bishop also have this man has the same problem I'm handsome that's why I look like that that's the prado he has the same issue but you see what not discovered no matter what the person sins against you they do something if you mount your high horse and you stretch this thing for three months before you forgive them very soon you will be in that position and it looks very awkward when you are in that position because then you don't know how to carry yourself so when the time comes to forgive forgive fast because you will call on that favor very soon amen you will call on that favor it was Ruth Bell Graham who said a happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers a happy Union disease is simply happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers people who have learned how to forgive each other because people of God is not that we don't have challenges we all do but we have learned how to forgive one another sometimes I've seen people divorce over reasons that other people solved very easily but became married a year later something happens they say no no no no no no I've had enough I will agree I will agree I would agree I won't agree divorce court that's not your portion amen that is not your testimony understand that there's something called forgiveness that gives you another opportunity you know a Matthew 18 Peter comes to Jesus and says he says I have a question how often shall I forgive my brother is he up to seven times jesus said in fact not up to seven times in fact up to seventy times seven the mathematician in me quick little hmm that's 490 is it that Peter is going to sit down and bring a notebook in Stark County waiting for the 490 first and then we say brother you have ran out of Missy I shall deal with you that's not what Jesus was talking about it wasn't about numbers because if you go to the next verse in Matthew 18 23 Jesus now tells a parable and to paraphrase it he tells of a Cain who forgives somebody and when the person is forgiven they'd rather go somewhere and someone who owes them a small amount they grab them and say I will not forgive you the master here said he's angry and says I'm going to throw you in until you pay everything and all that Jesus was telling Peter was if you knew how much you'll be forgiving you will forgive anyone who sins against you that is what we should carry with us into marriage and having said that and I know tomorrow I'm going to speak a lot to the singles like I said because of what I want to share I haven't said that you need to learn from even incidents that require forgiveness when you are in a marriage covenant when you forgive you forgive so that you can keep on building your marriage when you are single and you are in courtship there are times when you have to forgive somebody and after you have forgiven them you leave I need to tell you before I drop in in case I don't see you tomorrow morning why do I say that for example if you are in caution and somebody physically assaults you they are telling you your future may your two legs deliver you you forgive them and say my brother I forgive you god bless you go forth we shall meet in church but it is Oh so let's not confuse forgiveness with that there are certain traits that calls for you to take a step back and say let's fix this thing so you forgive them bye you are still walking in wisdom this is why when you enter mind you don't take things for granted because when you enter marriage you can't just walk out no but what a single person has that in my present hasn't got is the single person still has that power of choice to say I know we are getting married next week but I'll call it off sometimes single people people don't know what they have they are rather busy even the married people I cannot tell you a secret and so mild people secretly envy some of them but I believe that by the time we are done with this conference your home will really be a testimony god bless you [Applause] shall we please pray now hand over the microphone thank you Lord Jesus father I bless you lord I just thank you I thank you for all my brothers and my sisters here today Lord everlasting God we ask for the grace that grace to obey your word in the name of Jesus may our homes be a testimony in the name of Jesus Lord I stand with every family that may be dealing with strife or explainable strife we declare today that the spirit of strife Lord that hold is broken in the name of Jesus we command that strive to seize right now in the name of Jesus Christ Lord open the hearts of my brothers and my sisters that wisdom would enter their heart that out of their heart will come fruits of righteousness Oh Gold Lord we thank you we bless you for this opportunity may we continue to be walking testimonies in our relationships Lord wherever we go may your glory manifest father we thank you in Jesus name we pray amen god bless you you may be seated thank you very much [Applause] this is too nice - nice - nice Oh show some love show some love what a blessing I think that these are points that if you're going to apply them in your marriage it's gonna really help you I think print treats me well I think the part that was very exciting was your investment in your wife that what we see we see that that's the investment a report card I tell you you got filled but all but it shall not be your story in the name of Jesus anybody who is come for this Comfort marriage is gonna be the best marriage ever people will look at you and say wow wow it shall be your testimony in the name of Jesus I've been so blessed and I want to say a big thank you to Reverend Andy your same phone opening her eyes amen that's how you're gonna treat your wife's well yeah it's very we cool brothers are you gonna treat your wives well or you are going to be like Adam when they ask you have you eaten or that you will not say that you trying to explain and what about the ladies are you also going to treat your husband's well alright okay yes you adore him exceedingly exceedingly to be nice of your boss that one is a it's a major one when your boss calls you run but when your husband cause you take your time at the end adn a huge papa see do you have that clip ready okay yeah I just something I just so I just wanted us to watch it but I believe that we are being blessed and we are getting ready for the next session I told you this morning there were some sheets of paper that would be impossible I don't know whether they still have them do you receive those sheets of paper you have them to write questions and all that the slips yeah do you have them Oh what happened okay so if we can get a sheet of paper yourself please do so okay all right how busy are you ready 46 years we've been married 44 years we've been married for 57 years on the 2nd of January and we've been married 46 years and we've been married 54 years since August 62 not really wouldn't be love at first sight but he was tall dark and handsome that help no maybe not but it was so it's um wasn't attracted to men right in the beginning but I certainly wasn't ready for any commitment early I wouldn't say it was love at first sight though not for you certainly take them I guess as you get older it's as much companionship as as it's a warm sort of love it's a maturing thing it's an understanding thing and it's a growing thing just is growing together growing together really it's growing in love added deepens and becomes more meaningful really as you get older hoping in the very early days you might have brought me flowers okay yeah but in recent years wrong time yes we're not real big Valentine's we think of it but you know we don't really do anything special don't know how brought me flowers in this way instead of next week cheaper this way is most annoying habit is not listening to what I say it's a few I'm not aware of any annoying yeah but the truth has actually true mine is that he puts me on a pedestal well this is driving sort of loose things too too late to break and all that and sometimes I'm seen fake freaky stuff she gave me money and stuff my daughter remonda normally do as I say not as I do [Music] see what I mean believing is sure dun dun Christa nation high tolerance for on J inside the mine the really serious part of it is that we have listened to each other we have talked together we have eaten together we have slept together we have leaned on each other present difficult times which are not always great not having to say sorry me saying sorry or having to say think of it saying thank you for the little things of those are big things the eros of romantic love can never survive on its own for very long it has to have the anchor pair to doing love for me I think is to be loving you know caring understanding and sort of be there for one another being understanding and not going to bed on an argument and don't need separate life's we need a cup of life we do like the same things don't get too serious about life marriage is about giving Turks he gives an eye too this was all day that we'd be together I couldn't do without it really was I still lover [Music] [Music] while you can [Applause] let's talk about [Music] you you plug in their homes Christ is the head of this house the unseen guests at every meal the silent listener to every conversation I mean if that part you like it because a silent listener Christ doesn't see anything but Christ wants to contribute and want to say something when you are shouting at your wife or your through your hands to hit it Christ wants to say something and that is why we need to have a Christian home and by definition a Christian home is not just the burden we need to understand it it's not just the building but the atmosphere in the home so if we can create that atmosphere which is a Christian atmosphere it's going to help us to have a very beautiful marriage and so we're looking at how we're gonna do that and first of all to understand that the first home was a garden so that in itself is a message for us if you look at the garden what are the things you can learn from it first of all a garden is a place to enjoy a place to make beautiful a place that is peaceful and welcoming and because the wife is also the one that is always should I say at home or supposed to be the Kipnis at home then these things that we are saying wives must take them seriously the home must be a place to enjoy a place to relax if they're home amen the ladies it became quiet on me all of a sudden if their home is not a place to enjoy that I think that the wife is also not doing her work well so it must be a beautiful place it must be a place of relaxation and it must be a place that you might be able to work on and make beautiful there are a lot of things that can be done I think that like lady rebel always says sometimes they temperament some people the workload in the house overwhelms them when they look at the thing is it I cannot do anything about this house well then you just leave it but you're expected to put the place in order when we come to your house we want to see that you have made your house beautiful yeah one time I went to visit somebody I couldn't believe it I saw in the city room fufu person right in the city room at the corner and from what you can see around that you can see that it has been used not too long ago part of the furniture was there I said what a shock the grated please but you can see the type of woman that is also there and what she has created at that place now the most important element of the home like a cell is not the building by the atmosphere and when you read the scriptures they are different things that are mentioned even as reven and he was saying that when you have a happy wife you are definitely going to have a happy home Arriva have a wife that is also some way you do not want to be there in the house at all proverbs 19 verse 13 the Bible says that a foolish son is the calamity of the father he said and the contentions of a wife I a continual dropping you will not be happy to have a wife that is always in yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn nobody wants to go to such a woman yeah like Bishop Sankey will say the other time that they said a man keeps coming to us is there all night today do we have a known actually every day when is it do we have an all night two days why are you always asking whether there's an all-night today say because I don't want to go home do you have choir rehearsal no Parisa what about can I clean the church can i beer I mean he's just trying to find something that because when he was in the world he would go and drink and drink and drink before going home I mean he would go late so by the time he assumed the wife is asleep and but now he cannot go and drink his clothes from work he has to go home the not that he's born again he should find something at least in the church to do he knows though a contentious wife love to fight and power and sometimes for these things do it is not the temperament is also the kind of your background where you are coming from because there are some people they are born with some things is in their blood it's in a blood yeah so if you your your family line or your tribe it is something that is in there you have to deal with it yeah a lady threw their husband me I am a gun gun near gun me the way she may deter me away me I am a gun govern either see that yes you have made something so that in itself is an it's a whole issue you are dealing with you know you would not want to go to such a house if you have a wife like that so wives you hold a key to creating a very good atmosphere in the room when you are some way will not be happy proverb 25 verse 24 it is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman ayakashi avez in a wide house when you have such a wife cook one and see is even better he's happier because you would not want to do a living in a big house you don't want to be anywhere near such a woman yeah ladies you can move things oh you can make a man's life very miserable yeah so you need to decide that I'm not going to be a contentious wife Sam to the nurses that tele don't be a contentious a Christian home the wife is not a contentious wife brawling woman put the clutter around your destination he will come and meet me here in this house Michael about Rosa coming what no in the Christian whom the wife is a nice one when the husband is coming home he's even looking forward to going home he's very excited because the wife is gonna wait for him with a smile not one that is waiting for him with the front when he comes you have come you now come in then he asked for the food is a food Hey one man he complained about his wife is that he wanted to kill him what is that because he gave her money to prepare food then she made of the food had time to pound the fufu and then put what about it I said I saw the money food bubela so that's why he could use a manifold and the month and I was that at least okay you leave the cassava like addict and chew the cassava resort but the about time to pound the Fulani I put water right as you come and take it depends of God intended the alien took one you fight with your husband what's the minimum but that was this problem that I like I can't chew it like that with salt now you are giving me for water what do I do with it Robitaille seven fifteen and sixteen a continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman alike if you have been there before and it's raining and sometimes you are there may be some I don't know what are you watching TV or something that rain UK be here what is has he happened to you before maybe are watching something and it's really big again that's not sometimes a contentious wife is it's like you can't even really kind thing you can hear anything it's so annoying so the Christian home the wife is one that makes the home a place where the husband would want to go to now another family to understand in a Christian home is that you need to be you need to beware of covetousness cuz sometimes people look at what other people have and they would that they want to have the same thing once again we want to speak to the wives in a Christian home be careful mmm I went to madam Julie's house and I saw that she had a six-burner stove so me - I want a six burner and there are some people they make a case out of it because what I have I cannot be using this cool pot I will cook again so she has decided that she's not cooking because she was the six banner but you don't know where they've got the money from any God that thing maybe just a gift you don't know and your husband doesn't have that money relax that time will come you will get all these things yeah sometimes you see that some people coming put pressure on your husband pressure pressure six burner I need a six burner and I needed to know six burner or banana you eat banana Jesus said Luke chapter 12 and verse 15 and he said unto them take heed and beware of covetousness for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of things which he possesseth in other words the thing that will make the marriage nice and beautiful is not so much in the things that we have we may have a lot of things and I know sometimes when you go to these airport residential area somebody said Airport residential area people have nice homes nice buildings caspere should be pool lights or that air-conditioned evety but there is no joy in the womb now somebody has something small and this joy take your time you get when we got married yeah at the dining table my brother give to me he had used it for about seven years to give it to us a selfie thank you and out of fridge he had also used it about seven years or 80s also handle it as a give it to me I like it brother thank you pass it on we had this small TV I don't know that was had a lord type of TV to us sign-u or something and then we had this p.m. on call the same video deck VHS okay I remember that one I want to somebody gave it to us oh and to mommy that this they know when you watch it charlie it shows up to a point then it you stop now that the better give it to us so if you are watching a movie you just watch it up to a point then you imagine the rest of the movie Gaza that's a fight can go and sometimes you are watching the TV to just go off that you slap the TV partner to come back then we are watching it again come on can stop the table come out in Jesus name we check it one we did he have Catchings so when you come to our house when you are walking outside you see everything that is going on he says Oh with your stretch looks the windows on the table one day my mother-in-law came he said no this your thing is not nice oh so she brought my father-in-law's cloth [Music] [Applause] [Music] and then we hang it's bad and every time I fart noise come meet you get down from the car when they arrive they should get up quickly coming that he's come but that will be true so luckily I'm putting down then we had there when he comes you before you pocket is a liability but we were very happy oh we were happy now home we're not looking at any but we're happy we're enjoying ourselves we're very happy yes the spirit is a Christian not one that is on your husband no we won't in which we want to have satellite a hmm small small you will get there don't be curvatures all these things you will get them you watch and see I mean today the story is different as you can see by the grace of God but we flew in so what you have that is going to help you to be able to have a good home now what is the importance of the home to the husband and to the wife number one the home is a place of relaxation for the man yeah every man must feel like a king in his house can I have an amen from the brothers can I have an amen from the sisters must be like a kid when he comes home when I arrived home my wife says that she lent it from her mother so I also the ID we apply it in our house it works when I arrive everybody stops whatever they are doing and they all come and meet me they stop everything they come the king has arrived somebody takes my back somebody takes my iPod somebody I'm coming [Applause] it's nice when I write up my own chair in the house nobody sits in there when I'm not better jay is there let me join myself I sit down I'm enjoying myself I said there to pray I enjoy sitting there nobody helps I have my own class some of you you have reserved organized glasses for visitors that vistas to don't come and your husband is happy you go to Malcolm anyway by the same thing for everybody now including your husband school and again everybody take one husband you two take one his must be different his must be special you should see my glass ours is like USA Europe Alec what about the day Champions League Cup days ahead when they sent me with a drink like that and I'm just happy nice relaxation is a place of relaxation for the husband the other day I was talking to somebody said he's decided that he did not you be teaching in courses so he's told his wife that you save him causes everything put together it's like when when I come give me status and then bring whatever solids this that and then bring them mu the one I finish you bring disease powerful I'm good but wives we should have a variety of dishes it should be like a restaurant your husband I think I've done - mom you say that before the food there's food like a restaurant so what do you want we have everything that's jollof rice there's business is ok today hmm today see the man today like ok give me small of this small of that small of this one feeling good it's a Christian home or put your hands together for the casserole no but basically the husband must come home and feel relaxed he must look forward to going home at least that I can say for myself that one of the things I look forward to after church whatever is going home yeah I look forward to it there's some people they don't look forward to going home at all I mean it's the last thing on their mind that's not what we are closing it is bringing them that we are about to close here yeah that would be about it yeah some people say about me a lot because they haven't joined the message I tell it we don't have any age group now number two the home must be the Christian home must be a place or a shield in an insulation from the world and it's precious for the woman a man the Bible says that treats the woman as the weaker vessel women are not as strong as men but I think a lot of men forgets that thing sometimes when we see the way women wake up they can do a lot of them I doesn't media strong they are able to handle so many things and doesn't mean you're strong and so men must always know that the home must be a place where the woman is shielded sure that from all these pressures of the world that things in the world and things outside there they should be able to run home they know that I'm coming to my husband who is going to be with me and protect me I should sometime when they go to work their bosses are on them and all that it breaks them down they are not that strong and they run quickly to the house it shouldn't be that when your wife comes on you want to do your thing easy they have come you can always say that remember the other day my wife called me she said somebody had run into her car and then I think the impact also pushed their car but I'm on my way I'm coming too you know all things are possible now und call you hey ha JA what Zach I know she must be sure that she must be she must feel protected yeah sometimes have home there are things that we can also do to help them so that they don't end up carrying a whole lot of things and even sometimes you need to shield them from family members and other what do you call it in-laws sometimes they can come to the house and great problems yeah that's what we always encourage that try not to be staying in your house when you marry find somewhere move away from the house because once you are still in the family house you'll be there when they miss off they will come to your kitchen when they meet miss they don't come to your fridge and then when they talk your wife is talking to say shut up it's our brothers money but it must be there to show cuz they will come and as this especially the pregnancy's d'Alene uniform y'know and they say things they just make comments one to fancy the woman is also affected by all these things so the husband must be there to shield him and help him even sometimes in the in the things that she does the kitchen so all the things you need to also just help her out get some things for him it will help ease the work a bit if you can afford it yeah I poured it get it for her blender there are some people you have made up your mind there at the airport or you want a port or you wanna do kind of thing is that if the food is not we meet the Athan we're bow we need to grind the thing inside yeah a boom boom see that you making a Wack Wack Wack all the time sometimes these things are needed nama train the home must be a place of refreshing and strengthening for booth so what it means is that when I come home or when we go home we shall come back refreshed we shall come back stronger than we went if you come back from home rather more tired there is something wrong amen sometimes it helps when whatever wipe can also try and get the children not to disturb daddy when that is trying to press mm-hmm so that they can come around and all that so on a vision that is trying to raise a lime it's also something you can do so these are all things you are doing to have the Christian home and then finally the home must be a place of training for the children don't allow school teachers and other people to train your children for you there's a limit to which they can go you are the one responsible when you keep it that's why we give you a charge train up the child the way he should go it is your duty to train the child and that they must be done in a home the home must be made into a place where children are brought up children are trained there must be a lot of things that we can say that I learned this from my mommy I learned this from my daddy but otherwise school children friends and all these people will be teaching that you're venting that is you didn't know so we teach them and get into their lives talk to them sometimes I just take my daughter to school drive to school gets to have that chat with their to know what is happening in her life make sure they have the applied time you do all this is you train them bring them up show them the things that they need to know find ways of chatting with them and teaching them about life there are certain questions when they come up is not easy but you have to force an answer because they will look for the answer from somewhere Internet is given also some answers so we must now talk to them and and monitor the things they are doing sometimes when people leave their children they are having mobile phones they are having all these things and they go on and do all sorts of things monitor there must be a right time to give a phone to a child don't leave them to be watching the TV channels they are changing channels yeah the TV must be in your bedroom if possible our TVs in our bedroom if you want to watch come less or what you want to see what you are watching where or would you so you cannot just watch anything so the home must be a place to train the child now how do we develop a Christian home I'm just finishing number one Christ must be acknowledged as the foundation and the head of the home Christ must be acknowledged as the foundation in the head of the home Luke chapter 6 verse 47 whosoever cometh to me and here at my face and do at them I will show you to whom he is like he's like a man which built an house and dig deep and lay the foundation on a rock and when the flood arose and a stream beat vehemently upon that house and could not shake it for it was founded on Iraq hallelujah so Christ is the foundation and the rock is the Word of God while the web is there and we are working with the word like ribbon and II was saying now we are making the Word of God affirmation and because Christ is the word we are making Christ the foundation of our home everything must be based on the word what affirmation you should not base your listing on a pump imagine watching all these soap operas and all these things Indian speaking chief now they're coming over your son and I mean a man let Christ be the head and it must be acknowledged everybody must know that in this house what crisis is what matters that's it you cannot bring anything else apart from what Christ has said it's very important now Matt you apply biblical principles in order to do the Word of God is the manual for marriage and that is what we must use when the Word of God is in place is in the Word of God it has been tried already and that is what a lot of people don't know that whatever you are thinking of everything has been trying so don't waste your time using your own ideas reinventing evil some 12 verse 6 the Bible says that some 12 is 6 the words of the Lord are pure words as silver tried in the premise of the air and purified seven times so it's like they brought the Word of God into the earth they drive it on different things different marriages in their marriage he and Mary different ganyan Mary tried it every and something times tried it they realized that this thing can wake and then they gave their way to us so instead of coming up with your own idea know that the thing has been tried already so why are you wasting your time going to do it it has been tried it wait so just take the word apply to your marriage and you'll be blessed when is this husband love your lives just do it wives submit to your own husband just do it apply the way whatever I say just do it you will see that your marriage will be working remember Andy was saying that there is no CPT that was it that is the way it is nothing new Under the Sun is the same way so use the word of God don't use African proverbs and mentor Oh Gina ho a Bobby bacala or Franta ma NASA former president Rawlins was where there who come to me Isaiah ba one day I had a proverb I couldn't believe it they said they would remember Papa or the original same name Jane I don't know what I'm saying it well is anybody who knows that program you know it well what did he say and I need some the one guy coated it beautifully uh-huh so Obama Oh bad and the offending gray the opinion guy I don't know they believe that it's like yes a waste of resources I mean it's more profitable to brother a believe it's one of the things so you are coming to the man with all these thoughts and ideas improve its are you foolish problem are you going to do well a Christian home you don't bring such proverbs they're a cut above kampachi today these are all things that people say and Batman Yasumi idat2 know so it's like a man is not a pillow that you put your head on when ya a car for coca-cola home when you see a fabric fear the Bible says that blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly lost standing in the way of sinners nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful but his delight is in the law of the Lord and this Lord doth he meditate day and night the Bible says that he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season his leaf also shall not wither and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper that's it build your marriage around the church yeah I don't have any where I'm going it's a family we are all here my children are here as I'm here my children my children are also around my wife is are we be around be in that atmosphere it will help your marriage to do well it's very important number three develop family worship develop family worship how do you do that ensure that you either hood regular ply times together or if it's not possible one person has it and then the other but make sure that it is done and once a while come together as a family and pray have devotion they say that a family that prays together stays together I don't think it's in the Bible but it's true because as you come together to pray you you do well and then also attend church services and be involved in church activities and whiling Church husband and wife must sit together yeah then that thing is good because as we are sitting with your husband or your wife if anybody is having ideas ideas ideas people have ideas who see us 1 1 worship sister was singing and worshiping and there was a brother she was there looking at dancing I don't know but this was worshiping about her eyes away metal net dog number the wife was just sitting there and the way that thing was going teacher she came to take their magazine Orange I'm you but sometimes when the man is sitting by the wife anybody who has ideas the ideas who vanish because it's their last number one and number two sometimes when the applicants see that today the message you know it's for him each no.11 essentially take you to one my brother that word is what you receive it but it's good it helps to have a very nice Christian home hallelujah and then also train the children to know the importance of Sundays that Ben is so so so so important yeah not go to Omo to a base on Sundays my mother never allowed us to do anything on Sunday until you have gone to church and back but I think that the reason why I just like going to the Catholic Church because my father was a Catholic and then he liked the any morning Mass sissu o'clock by 7:00 they happen so I mean I just thought that yes I was doing something so that my mother would just let me go Namie but the pain also became a part of me so much that on Sunday if I don't go to church a few did something wrong which is the thing that as you train the children every Sunday on Sundays when they are not in church they feel that there's something wrong worried about the they will look for church and go to church and definitely it will have an effect on you as you keep going number four thank as a Christian spouse if you're gonna be you're gonna have a Christian home Philippians 2 best-trained Bible says that do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others and in this case your spouse consider your spouse better than yourself very important I mean if everybody was gonna think that way I believe we're gonna have a good home and a good marriage that my heart my wife deserves better my husband deserves better you are thinking good for her she's also thinking good for you everybody will be happy in the home so married people must reconcile plans they have be held individually before the marriage to suit the home so if you had plans you wanted to do this you wanted to travel abroad you had all these things now you can't do that you just can't do that we need to all think in a certain way what you are doing will help the home if it will not help don't think about yourself is naturally we are selfish that's our nature we are selfish we want to have things for ourselves and so we need to do things that will help the home amen I know a brother I mean he he will love see this every time you use his money those days he uses money to buy CDs then he will intentionally buy that the umbrella to his wife as they bought a CD for you knew it was for himself and when he brings that there of course the CDs in the house will blade may budget for himself but you also have to know that some of these things will not help be willing to give up certain interests and plans and preferences for the sake of the home so if you were going for boys boys on Sundays you go in somewhere watch soccer watch a European League and all these type of things Champions League now you cannot do that easily because now you're married and do not always insist on your own way be ready to compromise compromise always helps if we can always be ready to compromise let it go let the other person have his way sometimes helps I believe that if we can have these things we're gonna have a good Christian home and we're gonna have enjoy a very good mind may the Lord bless your home may the lord give you a good Christian home in Jesus name put your hands together for Jesus hallelujah we just have a few minutes left and I believe that we want to use this time to answer your questions so if you have them I don't know who is collecting them let us have them and then we're gonna yes get lady Reverend to answer the questions for us we're going to leave here in just a few minutes but hallelujah so let's welcome lady Reverend Adelaide here what males put your house together [Applause] hallelujah I think we should give a better handle retail thank God is a favor thank you shall we pray father you are the epitome of our wisdom we ask for your light we ask for your leading your word is a lamp to our feet and the light to our path lead us into the mind of Christ as we have it in Jesus name Amen ah standee thank you so much that wonderful words I want to encourage all of us to get the book treats me well even the title is encouraging and so I believe that the Bible says buy the truth and sell it notes every day you are buying things that won't take you far you are buying clothes meats by the meadow things that just help your body I don't help your spirit so let's do the right thing amen I was a vision that with all that you have been taught the questions should be fewer anyway the Bible says in proverbs chapter 19 verse 20 hear counsel and receive instruction that thou mayst be wise in thy latter end amen so hearing is one thing and receiving is also a father so here counsel we receive instruction and if we receive it it means we also walk in it then our latter end that means the outcome of everything will be God's Way even when you are married to an unbeliever God sends you a set in Greece and God still century no new men please bishop bishop favor this is your question I want to find out that is very a very good decision to build and stay married in my father's house for a short while and later find a new and good accommodation outside home bishop is it advisable to marry a lady with a low level of education or a graduate so that question is to you wish of Fame I think probably gets it right it's to you actually ah their Christian home you said don't stay your father's house go out so now these are what you preached his asking well the Bible says for this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they two shall be one flesh Amen I have always wondered why the living is on the man's side because of our state specifically a man shall leave his mother and his father so the living begins with a man because he has to provide the home so he will leave his father and his mother and the wife natural is supposed to follow you to where you are going so the first living responsibility is with a man and I think that the Bible has some wisdom there because when you are marrying you will make many mistakes it's like the building of anything and any new thing is not that in later years you don't make mistakes but in the foundation stages the marriage is more fragile you know and I believe you need space to grow up together space for your wives do not to be nice space for you to make certain mistakes and correct them but when there's a third party and offer that third party is you your family or even the wife's family there's a lot of intrusion and interference and it doesn't help the marriage to have a good environment so God in His wisdom says we should leave you see I've done a lot of counseling some mothers-in-law lady I knew just in her husband's house on Sunday the mother-in-law cooks soup and for food by him she makes only one and she brings it to their son and it's like the wife is no part of it and then even though her son had married in the evening she would come and say oh I have called to me.they oh don't you want because she's probably used to feeding her son so he will also out of politeness leave the wife's food and when it's the mother's food then that will also bring a problem now you also sometimes forget that your mother has been at it practicing for thirty years and your wife just came so she may not be as good as your mother so she needs the breathing space to develop and we are no wiser than God so I would encourage you to do something about it sometimes of course you may be on the same compound but the house is somewhere else even that sometimes it may be a bit noisy but wisdom can prevail but you say that's very very short well so I want to believe God that it is really for a short while but it is necessary for the marriage to grow properly I mean what was the second thing we said ah can you marry a woman he said a woman of low level education well if you are willing to invest in her she'll become a better person and she will go my my mother was better educated than my father but my father was rich other than my mother and but I think that they made a good pair and they grew up well and I think that my father invested a lot to even make my mother better like Reverend Andy was saying you know so yes level of education may come in because maybe even your interests and your appreciation of things maybe there may be a stock difference between that but I feel that education is not always wisdom because some women are well educated but they are foolish women like job said and some women are nowhere educated but you can invest in her and bring her up instead of saying I want something already made and she may have other virtues that are stronger than education and with time she can still be a better educator education is not only for MA because some people go to university but the university did not enter them do you see so it depends on and also whether you can honor her for who she is but if you look down on air you don't appreciate who she is then please somebody's daughter live in peace and pray that God would send somebody who honor he appreciated and invest in her men [Applause] please how can I do well as a wife mother and a brunch pasta and still be a loving wife I think we have a chapter and the marriage men are called the total wife and one of the things it says is that you have to prioritize you have to delegate what you have to delegate you have to plan properly and all that because you wear many hats you know so you have to prioritize what comes first your home is important you don't leave a sink full of dirty dishes and you are casting out demons in Chaco the Bible says in Proverbs 11:1 a false balance is an abomination to God so you have to balance properly in this hectic and what a fast-paced world is not easy by it as possible I always say that the even the virtuous woman she had maidens who helped it amen so we all have labor-saving devices also and so we need help but it's not everything you should delegate you should not be like Sarah who delegated his sexual duties to Hagar sometimes you delegate so much that when we come to the house we don't know who is the wife you become like Sarah and Hagar remember that Rachel gave Jacob Zilpah or vice versa and then Leah gave Jacob Bilhah you know you you are exchanging your duties and you say you know I can't do it or have a problem in this area so you the house help step in and when we do that we put our marriages at risk so I will say that as a lady pasta a branch pasta I think that you and I will have similar challenges isn't it and it is putting God first and always your relationship with God I leave is what gives me strength otherwise you become very weak but when you fellowship with God he strengthens you and he helps you for what lies ahead then he also gives you grace and wisdom so you plan if you have to plan a menu for the week planets know that you don't plan then Wednesday you come say eh maybe I knew few I forgot everything once in a while is allowed when it's chronic it's a problem you know like Bishop Haven said the woman who pounder the fluency Sakana super super one's own country I did that counseling and I couldn't believe it this year I have gone to a home where the husband was so distressed because the lady said that she had asked him for a gas cooker and the husband said he was saving to buy so when I went that evening just happened that the lady had cooked for herself but just enough for herself and she had eaten it and that she had a glass of Gary and four cubes of sugar I mentioned their name see and then the husband said it's very good you've worked it the Holy Ghost brought you this is my evening food Oh I've come from waking this is my food you know so like Reverend Andy said Christianity is just mere christianity so i think that you should sit down you should plan should see where you need help and then also know that you can't do everything I know my limitations I always say my husband preaches save God do the wake of God and I do it but it doesn't mean that when he comes home he's going to eat the wake of God or then when it comes from everything is okay see when we first got married for me by the grace of God cooking is not a problem when we first got married I don't have a performer a concept slaying and other nothing that ooh the way God has moved will we go me will eat oh it's not that I don't have food but I feel that the Spirit of God has moved so much that's but that is when he needs my administration than you know about so please there are things that others can do for you and you can oversee there are things that you can get help for especially even as a branch master there are things I have to do administratively that you can create a team there are things that I do like protocol I have a huge group of volunteers so when you stand you look like a superwoman but what it is is a lot of people and I get in you so six to have a balance don't be a superwoman and I believe that God will give you grace amen even today before I come here I know what is being eaten in my house and I know what I asked I know what I put in place so you see me so that reverence son shrimper because something has been done before I'm standing here amen so may God give us grace to be balanced can a divorced Christian woman marry again why shall be considered adultery I think that there are areas in the Bible that says that a divorced person must not marry again because if she marries or he Mars he is committing adultery by the same time there's another place in 1st Corinthians 7 that says that if for instance you are my - an unbeliever and he be pleased to dwell with you you dwell with him but if he sets you free the Bible says you are not bound so I would say that that area it is said to be a gray area sometimes but there are many verses that also say you are not bound you are free if you were living with the person you are doing or better processes I'm going what do you do after today I I continue to discuss with my husband what that business I say it means you are not bound he says he's not sure it means that so I won't pretend I have all the answers but I think the Bible is quite clear on that my parents have lived together for more than twenty years with two children mother relationship is broken and my mum wants to leave what should they do they should go to their Kosta and receive counsel from him and you should also maybe talk to them later when you talk about the law of acceptance the key it's not a law in psyche I got might about four years ago we have sex but it's not regular like once a week but since we got married my husband doesn't since we got my buttons we got married my husband doesn't like kissing me I have tried all but never so what do I have to do do I have to accept it for now you may have to accept it but I think communication you see couples don't want to talk about sex but you must be open the man was naked oma was naked they were not ashamed so you must talk to so what makes kissing so a vest for you maybe he's a typical African man and it's just not part of his makeup you know I told you yesterday somebody told that we love a call me baby or say I don't know Paula you see some people we upbringing is different so why don't you have a frank discussion with him and then maybe and often it will help both of you to know what to do and failing all you can have pastoral care capacity or marriage counselor my husband had an affair with a lady and the girl called pregnant and had a baby girl my husband pleaded and I forgave him later I had the girl was pregnant again for him meanwhile we have three kids already please did you ever what should I do now I am part of this church if your husband is part of this church you must bring him on the clinic day okay but I think that he needs some talking to and you also have to ask God for wisdom I cannot tell you do this or do that there's a scenario where he may take you for granted forever there's a scenario where maybe he just needs somebody to step in and he would become an MAO guy I cannot tell but I think that you need to come with him and see the counselors and pastors and I am I believer after talking to him that would be a way for him but you shouldn't let him feel that he can also just do what he likes there's something we call boundaries and people must know that they have boundaries you can't just go on and on and on I'm always there just there for you no I think that it is an unhealthy thing in that way so I can't say do this or that but I can say to you that you must try and have boundaries you must talk to him or talk to somebody who can talk to him to really find out what is happening and you may have to give him an ultimatum that I accept at first second please this is going to it and then you move on from there you have many choices but at the end of the day that choice is yours and also being a lawyer I don't make choices for people I leave the choices to them amen is it biblical for a brother a sister to stand on behalf in marriage as you mean the main person is out of a country it's not biblical it is customary it is allowed under costly law so somebody's not standing but the true families contract the marriage with or consent I have married I have married for well for over 23 years and my husband passed by me okay bypassed me to marry another woman who the family said is not recognized in case he does who give all the things to the other woman he dies don't give everything to the Tollman I'm well married where do I stand I don't know your definition of well married but if you be made for 23 years and you are legally married that it does it expression you are looking for if you are legally married then this woman is not a legal wife and if your husband dies unless he makes a will to the contrary if it dies intestate the woman is not a wife you know but if you'll be my for 23 years I don't know when this problem has begun that all these things are going on so who need have a few more facts to determine what type of marriage you are in and what you can do okay I hope I've answered your question lady Reverend god bless you I got married in the church and at that time the church was a new branch we were married and and but not signed but signed at the Registrar journals then you are married yes I in church we didn't sign you can't sign twice you signed up Registrar general's it is a marriage okay so once you have your certificates as a married but you may want to come and have a blessing over it to have the spiritual dimension please I'd like to know whether an engagement or customary marriage without it being registered is still recognized by law yes it is it is but it's sometimes more difficult to prove so if in the modern times cuz we law customer might just come registrable and you are married in these modern times in you should do it a wife was told by a husband that he has two children with another woman who has gone to my customarily without her knowledge the wife has we might under the ordinance in the church a Christian man the man is asking for divorce what should she do that is said the decision lies with her it is entirely haste if she wants to continue in this way it would be up to him but biblically she has a rights to divorce the man because jesus said you have a right to divorce in cases of adultery not that you should always exercise their rights but he says you have that right peace if your husband is having extramarital affairs is it good to ask him to use a condom I think so because it's a very serious thing in this world amen I just dealt or encountered a situation like that a few weeks ago innocent woman contracts from her husband HIV you know and they are well advanced in age well advanced in age and she has to Ness him as well I'm a lady of 23 and my beloved is Tatyana pasta we are planning to get married BOM now entering the law school how can I be in school and not get pregnant when I'm married I don't like family planning medicines and injections because I feared come prevent me when I want a child well you are deciding to marry at 23 the law says that marriage is between two consenting adults so at 18 you are deemed to have full capacity although I don't think you could put you to marry so either you ask your beloved to wait for you he's dead he also wants to marry and get on with his life oh you combined all one of my mates you was sitting in the last paper in lost when a waters broke and so the whole class has owned that baby she's good class of 1988 and when we celebrated our 25 years at the bash she came she had a special invitation class of 1980 and when we have the special service here she also came one is that whether we are there we perturb you to everything in her life because we feel that she was born in a mist so all these things are possible people marry and they go to school people marry their children but it's your preparedness to pay the price so it depends on you whether you can juggle or what you decide to do man I think life I admired at 23 I wanna see talk but I don't know I don't think I could have married in school my husband says that if you had to live his life again you marry in school but I wouldn't because I think marriage has more implications for a woman than a man because I don't want I'm learning constitutional law in you guys Daniel me where's your food and then I want to wake up and land that you want me to do other things look decide okay my husband is not able to plan his time well and it's always late we go to church late oh we always go to church late I ask he ions on Saturdays but he says he won't we are always late to places even to this conference watch what should I do I think if possible you should leave him and go to where you are going if it is possible because damaged engine tell him honey I would like to wait for you but your lateness is very serious and I think it's affecting us seriously or ion has shed for him if he says he wouldn't do it you do it for him men need to be organized if you don't organize them the way one thing for a long time and when they finished Adobe looking for it when you have this cabinets I'm dialing your number pasta them so you can organize him to help him to be early ok amen find ways my future husband is not from the same church like I like me I want to know if the fact that he's not from my church can be a problem in our marriage well sometimes it creates a problem for the couple like maybe his church is having a convention yours is not and the US has a convention he is not so sometimes pleased but sometimes couples are able to arrange their lives well and flow with it but often times I think the best is to be in the same church because you are under the same teachings the same philosophies the same beliefs and that helps you but if you can't help it then you have to manage and you can still have a good thing in that ok so I hope I've answered your question what our daily activities you do in order to build a long-lasting relationship by the Sun is preaching topical daily activities walking in love being kind to one another all the things that pass and he talked about I think if you speak with grace every day you forgive every day you are gentle every day the fruits of the spirit I think that that will go a long way okay you kind of sold this I don't know whether when knocking is done does what does the Nokia mean in courtship of taking the step can i what does an oaky really mean in courtship Nokia means I hear that I don't know I'm not so customary but I hear that knocking gifts and affords the two families the opportunity to meet each other formally and to start planning the customary marriage officially because if you ever met I don't know you don't know your then we are all planning engagements a bit funny so knocking a force that opportunity and it's called knocking because you are going to somebody's home to take something so you are knocking but you haven't entered yet so knocking it's 7:00 the people notice that I will soon be entering it's not marriage and knocking is not something you free customer emerges something you dissolve by knocking you just leave it good even ministers a please my question is Martha's is building on family land whilst nothing has been done with others whenever I raised a topic on this issue there's no peace in the house so I've decided not to raise this issue again please I need your advice because it's family members are encouraging him on what he is doing well in law whatever you put on land belongs to the owner of the land unless there's an agreement to the contrary so I always advise even church members do not build on family land because when you do build on family land it is family property and if the family is giving you family land then they must give you a proper conveyance they should convey proper title that the family is given it to you mister X without any encumbrance whatsoever then you can say to land and you can invest in it but if it's family land the title is family land oh you've come to build on it it is not yours by law and it is not a wise thing you can't do things by goodwill because human nature changes so much you must do things by contract and by proper signing no sighs oh ho gentlemen's agreement oh because it's you what sign into because it seemed that's the more reason why he should sign so that you preserve the relationship my wife is more committed at church than whom how do I handle such a situation much my wife is always not having money and she's working at a good place maybe it's her spending habits maybe she spends more than she ends or maybe more of the responsibilities on head and on you you know so I don't know why she doesn't have money but you can have a discussion amicable not a discussion where you are going to just point fingers and accuse it but amicable let I feel that is something to help her and when she's like that you may sit down on a scale so this month what did you save what did you use your money for okay can we make an agreement that after tithe you will save 10% of your money no matter how much you earn and all that and that's may help a and also you said she's more committed in church than at home there has to be a balance so come and see her past our war and see wherever her pasta is and talk to the pastor about it instead of being an angry sulking husband and then see what can be done but before then I think that couples must be able to communicate about what they are not happy with you may not be happy with something by doesn't mean you should insult the person use foul language you just have to discuss then you know I feel that I feel neglected I feel that the home is suffering how we have a balance how do you think we can do what can I do to help you then you are getting some way but when you sit in a judge's seats you won't get far what do you advice for couples for whom the damage seems beyond repair nothing is weak beyond repair in God's eyes he says that I will give you beauty for Ashes so whatever is destroyed even to ashes God is able to give you beauty so far as the two of you are committed to letting God have the ashes so that he can lead you into beauty there's nothing that is impossible with God when and how should a will be done I think that once you start working you should have a will because well you should think about certain things like social security sometimes people start working and when they are paying Social Security they are single but later you might you have children and the Social Security is still in your mother's name you may need to change that and then some people say over lady rabbit I don't have anything I just have an account my even an account you can wheel it to your children and a will is quite a straightforward document it just has to have certain things in place there must be two independent witnesses and you must have done it of your own volition your own will you must have full capacity that means your mind is working well it's not that you are sick mentally you may be sick but it shouldn't affect your mental faculties and then you must be able to know the things you have and whether you have that power to give them because people will things that don't belong to them like this man who is building on the family land that the grant writer will and will that house to their children you can't do that because whatever stands on the land does not belong to you it belongs to the owner of a land so I think that whenever you have anything you should make a will and you can always change it you can always change it I am the woman what do you do when your mother comes to stay with you and where you throw it leave she feels you haven't spoke yeah well well you apologize and you try to see it the way that she will understand your mother has come to live with you you think she has overstayed her welcome there's a way of going about it and there's a way also of even seeing her off and also why does she want to stay with you is it because things are hot she's no well looked after what is it is she sick and she needs help it depends on all those circumstances and why do you want to drive her away so much is it that you don't have room she's nosy what is it we've had our customer might 15 years ago and our ordinance marriage four years ago please when we celebrate our anniversary you can celebrate 15 years ago it's fine it's only legally you are no way how do you deal with a sibling who does not listen to any advice you give it even if you feel you've prayed enough for him at a point even pastors we can't force people we can just give you the counsel of God and if you decide not to take it sometimes we can't shove it down your throat so we have to leave you to your own devices so sometimes you just leave the person or if it's a child you put sanctions in place to deter the person but barring that is not everybody you can control what do you do to make your wife open up for sex after you've taken her out treated her nicely when it gets to sex she becomes adamant and she keeps postponing you see you took her out to sow seeds and you were treating her nicely to sow seeds it's nice when you make it obvious that the only reason why you are being nice is only this one thing you know she doesn't also feel so and then also I think that most men don't take their time to find what works for a woman you know I said earlier that a woman is like a present ion she doesn't come on immediately a man is like a light switch as soon as we pray he has come on Fred on the war he's come on and a woman takes time like a present iron to heat so if the man would learn what makes the wife come around having said that I know the wives are known to give a lot of excuses but like I said on Thursday the Bible says you do not have power over your own body so sometimes of course we don't believe the scripture and we think our bodies belong to us that is why we don't give it to the owner do you see but the Bible says that ona is your husband and your husband's body also belongs to you so if we had that in perspective like Reverend Andy said a lot of problems will be solved so I would say find out what works for your wife and also tell her that what she is doing is really painting you and you would like it to change let me tell you something brothers one of the shops to a woman when she marries is how important sex is to you it's a shock they can make you so angry you slam the door but when you leave she stands oh but this one too you know so yeah but like the Vesta was read let each esteem the other better than himself so when you esteem your partner's interests and what is dear to him that's dear to you I think that it goes a long way to enhance the marriage is it always good to marry your friend he passed Andy we'll talk about that tomorrow and what if they never show an interest in you other why would you like to marry them your your question is and as a young woman is it good to marry a man who is seven years younger than you a man sees you and says I want to marry you but you don't know him at all you can always start from somewhere to get to know him you don't just shoot him or because you don't know him that's a starting point to know a person now you say can you marry somebody you are younger than I must say as a pastor that there's no hard and fast rule but I have also come across situations where I spoke to the prisoners are you sure you want to marry an older woman they do every I'm sure that's all I want that within 12 months my jaws over within 12 months it was over he was given all sorts of excuses so marriage is a covenant and when you are bound by that covenant you go the full length of it so ask yourself when this woman grows older and science and wonders are showing will you still love a because you say in sickness and in health and in every situation till death you do part so it's the same whether the ages younger older is the same so it depends on you the covenant mica but you have to know that you are prone to think that this woman is older and you will move on your mind and also if you were here let's say she may have childbearing problems what are you going to say she may or may not have I going to say that that's why it will not be white because if a younger woman can have that challenge so it depends on you and what you really want to do and the reality of things for you also I mean Derek Prince the great Bible teacher married a woman 26 years older than him but he says that the reason why he did that was he got an explicit word from God and he married his wife right to the end she was called Ruth Prince he married their paw they did ministry together and everything he wrote a book and as that the book we published after his death I will encourage you to read it it's a good life story on Dale Prince and he said that when he got to if his wife was a tea fellow did be fifty fifty four when he got to that age he'll go with his wife and when he preaches the people would say your son preached so well so how do you feel then the wife started to feel the age difference and started to even drink when she was not a drinker she was a Christian woman so marriage is for the long haul but he kept his testimony and he was a happy man he wasn't an unhappy man but it will take a special coating to marry somebody 26 years oh thank you please all the conference in Ghana marriage is Mustafa Mustafa pastors wives when would there be a conference also for lady pastors husbands when your husband is going after the small girls in the church you are what husbands is going after the small girls in the church that you are building together I think that every marriage conference that is biblical and Bible based addresses all these issues and you don't even need to be a pasta to be faithful maybe when you ayah pasta the Bible says that there's a stricter punishment or a stricter judgment sorry but I think that all the conference's address all these things to husbands so far as a husband the conference's address him and he's not supposed to be running around with little girls little girls in the church so then you need help and counseling and who his father his father is who can speak into his life what is the recommended sex a week for couples married less than four years well we have something called exact Zometa in the marriage counseling manner and in the sexual meter it is rather the Bible says drink waters out of your own system huh so a system is giving you water and then up our pastors in fact my bishop my husband asked how often do you drink water and then the church shouts every day so if the Bible says drink what's out of your own says what does it mean it means you must have sex every day recommended those and if for any reason you must adjust it then it must be by mutual consent it men and we say that we use the sex ohmmeter to determine the temperature and the marriage so we say that if for six weeks is it bischoff if nothing has happened I've not looked at the sexual meter for a while but if a six-week not has a query infidelity query in the console and find out what's going on what do you do if married to who offices I do it to a woman must you always be the forgiver I think that it is divine and spiritually more classy to forgive so if he says he doesn't say sorry to any woman it is unfortunate and it shows that it shows something about him so you don't have to descend and scratch with the chickens but land to fly with the Eagles by walking in forgiveness and then also that is why we have pastors that's why we have people who can speak to them to change because sometimes your voice is no hate I'm married to a pasta and sex is a problem I am the woman and I'm always the one who initiates a Muslim I receive and no I'm not in the mood some brothers can't believe it he even says if a man is not in the mood there's no erection where women can pretend by men can't because there will be no erection to penetrate it's a big problem and I'm losing interest in it you know I have found us a mite kozlova sometimes the men have erectile problems or health challenges and they are not able to share it or to tell you so sometimes the lack of interest is no lack of interest is lack of ability to perform sometimes to his lack of interest because something has happened and he's still bearing that grudge and he has lost total interest in you it shouldn't be the case but that is the case and so I think that you should seek help early that's why we have churches pastors and counselors and that's why we have even conferences like this when a preacher man says women are not satisfying their husband I wish to shout the men are now starving us he rather sleeps with jeans and belt he rather I am the type that wants a when I'm sleeping so I'm liquid like a banana so please talk to the men for us cause we then feel they're having an affair also query infidelity also query infidelity is not always the case but and then also although most men are sexual not everybody's ability to eat the same so there are so many factors so you need to see a counselor with your husband and I hope that it can help don't suffer in silence how can we avoid fornication before marriage when we are when you are aged what does it mean you are all done but you still have to avoid fornication to engage whether you are Auto hey can a Christian woman get my to a Muslim man and be happy and blessed I think you don't understand all the husband reach to even this morning I addressed it how can we know how soulmates Reverend Andy will answer that tomorrow if a choleric man gets my to a male what would be the reaction both negative and positive between them the reason is that I heard you talking about some women and male women and then choleric and phlegmatic well you will still have the weaknesses of the various temperaments and it will have to be spirit controlled whatever temperament it is lady Reverend please what do you do to her husband was abandoned you and married outside the country with three children move on I think he has married he has three children he has moved on unless God tells you otherwise can a Christian my without going through marriage counseling not advisable I don't know much cuz it's a blessing why why is it a problem hmm please lady Reverend if couples married and the customary law in civil and I've decided to divorce is the court divorce alone enough for one Hospital we tend the drinks either usually they just go to courts and then ladies of it it depends on what the family wants by usually a man married a woman only for her to find out after about eight to ten years that the man had married a previous woman by ordinance which preceded a customary marriage and was signed at the Church of Pentecost she finds out now she wants a divorce as a Christian can she divorce him the previous woman is remarried but the husband never divorced well there's some there are different types of divorce there's even constructive divorce so there are different types of divorces not only you go and I go and then we divorce he has abandoned the person for so long the years have passed by she she has remarried he has remarked so all the circumstantial evidence will point to that so said that the law looks straightforward but based on different different facts different different things come into play I hope you understand so I don't think the marriage exists what does God think about remarriage after divorce I think the question has been asked I know God hates divorce why than a Christians not divorcing and we my ring and some churches look on because what it is is that at the end of the day people take their own personal decisions and you cannot force them even God cannot force us he may convince us he may use things to pull our ears but we still don't want and we still do what we do sometimes also we don't know all the facts sometimes I have been privy to a case where the woman was unfaithful and then the man decided to put her away biblically but he didn't want to also tell everybody that's the reason why I'm putting her away is because of infidelity continuous interest it's not nice you know so he didn't so I would say but the new generation of Christians does not fear God I would say that and we are looking for so many good reasons why we should divorce like Reverend Andy was saying who say my wife doesn't treat me well so have a right - my husband doesn't treats me well we have become like the world always so I would agree with you that that's not the way and then because we don't want to suffer suffering is not part of our theology suffer is not part of our doctrine but the Bible says they that shall live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution you suffer for what you believe you suffer for what you have chosen it is a narrow way not as a broad way it is a straight and narrow way and that you pay a price to obey God and sometimes the price is the marriage that you pay do you see but Christians want comfort and also even we divorce and sometimes it's another woman in the church who is causing that you know but jesus said that among the weeds Doby tares among the sheep there'll be wolves and there will be in the same place so we have to be conscious of all that so as Reverend Andy said bottom line is the fear of God and some people ask me oh but very great Christians and then they don't follow Christ in some area and I was asking God how can people be be so strong in you and seem to know you so well and then in certain areas you are not a lot and I believe that there were many kings in the time of Israel they did this they did this they did this that please God but they never took down the high places so many Christians have high places or areas in their lives where God is not Lord so is he he is Lord but in the area of your finances he's not Lord he's Lord everywhere else so we have invited him to certain rooms in our lives but not the whole house and that is giving us problems so we may be very good worship leaders whatever might when it comes a certain area we are not Christians we have no yielded everything and we are not even bearing the fruits of the spirit so that's what I'll see from the little I know I mean don't worry we are running to the finishing line surprisingly do you stay with a guy who when he gets angry he won't pick your calls for days or should you just let him go well if you are seeing this before marriage like Reverend Andy said God is giving you a blessing to see things that otherwise will be hidden so if this is what you have seen I always say what you see before might multiply by a thousand you see it in the marriage whatever you don't like is by thousand you know so everybody has a left leg so what you don't like in your spouse to be you are going to experience it a thousand times so if he gets angry doesn't pick your post perhaps when you marry him not only we picked not pick your cause you go out for four days like I said on the first day all these before humans means I know when he's angry goes our four days I used to work with the lady when I husband

Channel: Eddie Fabin

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Length: 198min 8sec (11888 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 26 2017