-Senator Lindsey Graham
has used multiple Fox News appearances to beg viewers
to send their money to billionaire criminal
defendant Donald Trump, while Marjorie Taylor Greene
insulted New York City, but none of that
is working politically. Republicans discovered,
yet again, this week, that tying their fates to Trump,
who still faces even more looming indictments,
has been a disaster. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ] We've said this many times
on the show, and it remains true today --
Donald Trump is deeply unpopular with the broad majority
of Americans. Even in his moment of need,
after he sent out a call to his supporters
to protest and... ...the response was
mostly shrugs. Only a small number
of Trump supporters [ Laughter ]
showed up at the courthouse,
where they looked like tourists who had wandered over
from the M&M store. [ Laughter and applause ] [ New York accent ]
I'm here to support Donald Trump and to see if the green M&M
is still sexy. [ Laughter and applause ]
And single. [ Laughter ]
I'm sorry, but this is not
a protest. This isn't even the dinner rush
at Cracker Barrel. [ Laughter and applause ]
So, Trump is and has always been
very unpopular, but sometimes it's just hard
to remember that because he looms so large
over our politics and because one
of our two major parties remains totally devoted
to him. Case in point -- Senator Lindsey Graham,
who once said of Trump, "Count me out,
enough is enough," has been going on Fox News
for a week, on the verge of tears, begging viewers to send money to self-proclaimed billionaire
Donald Trump for his legal defense fund. -To those who are
listening tonight, if you believe Donald Trump is being treated poorly
and wrongly, stand up and help the man. Pray for our country. Pray for him. Go to donaldjtrump.com and give money,
so he can defend himselves. [ Laughter ]
America literally is at stake. As we know it. Is at stake as we know it. I'm sorry I'm so upset, [ Laughter ]
but please help President Trump. If you can afford 5 or 10 bucks. If you can't afford $1, fine,
just pray, [ Laughter ]
Pray for this country. Pray for this president. And, if you got any money
to give, give it. Lindseygraham.com. It doesn't go to me. It goes to helping
this president. [ Laughter ]
-I think Lindsey Graham
might've missed his calling as a televangelist because
[ Laughter and applause ] he's got the most important
part down. "God --
in this case, Donald Trump -- needs more money,
but you can send it to me and I'll make sure he gets it."
[ Laughter and applause ] [ As Graham ]
I mean, I might invest it in some side projects,
get a little Bitcoin. [ Laughter ] My skin crawls,
hearing Lindsey Graham ask for 5 or 10 bucks for a self-proclaimed
billionaire's legal fees. [ As Graham ]
For less than the price
of a cup of coffee a day, you can keep this man
where he belongs -- in the window seat
of his own private plane and knee deep
in adult film stars. [ Laughter and applause ] It's what Jesus would've wanted. [ Cheering ]
Also, what the hell -- what the hell is going on
with Graham's appearance here? Did Fox News
just light him weird or is he starting to turn
into Trump's Mini-Me? [ Laughter ]
Next time Lindsey sees Trump, he's going to have circles
under his eyes, wearing a baggy suit
and oversized tie. [ As Graham ]
See, Donald? I'm just like you. [ Laughter ]
What's that, Meemaw? I am just like him! [ Laughter and applause ] I got the suit, the tie. What do you mean,
I lack his charisma? I got more charisma
in my little finger than you have
in your whole CPAP machine! [ Laughter ]
What?! Well, if you can't hear me,
turn it off! Whirring all night long,
keeping me up. [ Laughter ] Keeping the dogs up. [ Laughter and applause ] This is -- You just saw previews
for a Broadway show. [ Laughter and applause ] For free, I should note.
[ Laughter ] So, the GOP remains
fully devoted to Trump, but it's been a political
disaster for them, as we learned, yet again,
this week. They got crushed in the 2018
midterms, the 2020 election, they underperformed
in the 2022 midterms, and they lost
the Georgia runoffs. The progressive just won
the Chicago mayor's race, [ Cheering and applause ]
despite the GOP's -- yeah -- despite the GOP's constant
scaremongering about crime. And, in Wisconsin,
a crucial swing state, Democrats scored a massive
11-point victory in a race
for the state Supreme Court that gave progressives control
of the court [ Cheering and applause ]
for the first time in 15 years, which could decide the fate
of abortion protections and gerrymandering
in Wisconsin. I'm no political expert,
but it seems like the GOP's strategy, of whining
about wokeness, voter fraud, and gender neutral
Potato Head dolls [ Laughter ]
is just not exactly working, especially since their senators
are starting to look a little bit
like Potato Head dolls. [ Laughter and applause ] Yet, they just can't
stop themselves. The crazies are still going
on Fox, whining about the same old bull[bleep]
they always whine about and coming off
as deeply unlikable. Like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who showed up
in Manhattan Tuesday to scream into a bullhorn,
in her Unabomber glasses, [ Laughter ]
before fleeing with a police escort back
to her Escalade, like a Disney mascot
whose fake head just fell off. [ Laughter ]
"Look away, kids! Goofy is fine! He's fine!
He's just going to go to the hospital for a minute.
Move, move!" Greene then went
on Tucker Carlson's show
last night to say a bunch of insulting
things about the city. -Mayor Adams described
New York as his "home." How did his home look,
pretty neat and tidy? -No, his home is disgusting. [ Laughter ]
I compared it to what I call
Gotham City. [ Laughter ]
The streets are filthy. They're covered with people [ Laughter ]
basically dying on drugs. They can't even stand up.
They're falling over. There's so much crime
in the city, I can't comprehend
how people live there. It was repulsive.
It smells bad. [ Laughter ]
And I just -- I think
it's a terrible place. [ Laughter ]
-Okay, Bane's girlfriend. [ Laughter and applause ] How dare you say that
in the city that is home to Fox News headquarters?! [ Laughter and applause ] These people are such
ass[bleep]. [ Laughter and applause ]
Only Republicans would go to liberal cities
and [bleep] on them. It doesn't work
the other way around. I don't go to her hometown
and say nasty things about it, although I don't know
where she's from. I'm assuming the videotape
from "The Ring." Is that -- [ Laughter and applause ] Is that a place people grow up? Do they got good schools there? [ Laughter ]
The only people who are allowed
to [bleep] on New York -- the only people! -- are New Yorkers! [ Cheering and applause ]
Because we love it and we love how mad it makes us. It's not an easy city
to live in. You fight and you claw and you finally get the job
of your dreams and you move
into a New York City apartment and you give a little fist pump
and you say, "Yes!" And then your neighbor pounds
on the wall and screams -- [ New York accent ]
Keep the [bleep] noise down! [ Laughter and applause ] And, yeah, sure,
as a New Yorker, I'm willing to admit
it smells bad here sometimes. I assume -- I had always assumed that's why Tucker Carlson
was making that face. [ Laughter and applause ] Everyone who lives there makes
that face at least once a day. [ Laughter ] And we're usually thinking
something like, "Is that urine
or boiled cabbage?" [ Laughter and applause ] The point is none of this
[bleep] is working. They keep whining.
They keep losing. Their constant victimhood
and obsession with wokeness and devotion to Trump
just keeps turning people off. Republicans have tied
their political fortunes to a guy who just got arrested and still faces the possibility
of even more arrests. Even amid his arraignment
in New York, there's been a constant stream
of breaking news about all the other criminal
investigations Trump is facing. -Donald Trump's arrest
and arraignment in New York City today is only
part of his legal trouble. The special counsel is still
investigating January 6th and those classified documents; and prosecutors
in Fulton County, Georgia, are still considering charges. -Breaking news here --
a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals
for the D.C. Circuit has denied
an emergency motion filed by President Trump's
legal team yesterday, seeking to stop several
of his top aides, including Mark Meadows, from testifying
before the federal grand jury. -Breaking news report in one
of the special counsel investigations
into Donald Trump -- former Vice President Mike Pence
will not fight a judge's order for him to testify
before a grand jury weighing Trump's efforts
to overturn the 2020 election. -The Washington Post reports
that federal investigators have gathered
new evidence pointing to possible obstruction
by Donald Trump in the Mar-a-Lago
classified documents case. -Sources say Trump looked through boxes
of government records after he was subpoenaed
to return them. -There's so much nonstop
breaking news about the Trump investigations that, if you wanted
to keep track of it all, you'd need
an entire show dedicated to scrutinizing every detail
and following every development. Oh, wait.
Oh, wait, that's us. [ Laughter and cheering ]
Okay, great. So, we have it. [ Applause ]
You know, when I first -- You know, when I first pitched
the idea for this show, back in 2014,
the execs were all like, "Trump, the real estate guy? But he hasn't committed
any crimes." And I just leaned back,
lit up a cigarette, and said, "Ohhh, [ Laughter ]
just you wait. Just you wait." And then, because I don't smoke,
I coughed a lot. [ Laughter and applause ]
All in all, I'd say it was
a pretty bad meeting. [ Laughter ]
The point is, the GOP has tied
itself to this guy and his legal troubles are not
going away anytime soon. In the classified documents
case, for example, the special counsel
has amassed even more evidence
of obstruction and yet, Trump keeps admitting
to what he's been accused of -- that he just rifled through
the classified documents, even after he was asked
to return them. In fact, at one point,
during a recent interview with his buddy Sean Hannity,
Trump blurted out the truth. -I can't imagine
you ever saying, "Bring me some of the boxes that we brought back
from the White House. I'd like to look at them."
Did you ever do that? -I would have the right
to do that. [ Laughter ]
There's nothing wrong with it.
-But I know you. I don't think you would do it. -Well, I don't have a lot
of time, but I would have the right
to do that. I would do that.
There'd be nothing wrong. [ Laughter and applause ]
Remember this...
-Yeah. -...this is the
Presidential Records Act. I have the right to take stuff. [ Laughter and applause ]
-Hannity -- Hannity even tries to move on
and Trump is like -- [ As Trump ]
No, wait, I'm not done
confessing, Sean. I have the right.
[ Laughter ] I have the right to take stuff,
be it classified documents or candy bars
at the checkout, that I hide in what I call
my shoplifting coat. [ Laughter ]
"Alright. Alright, let's move on,
Mr. President. As Trump ]
Before we do, Sean, Zagnut? It's a little melted,
but it's still very delicious. [ Laughter and applause ] Crunchy peanut butter -- [ Laughter and applause ] Crunchy peanut butter
with coconut. We love a Zagnut, everybody.
It's very -- It's a very modern candy bar. When Seth brought it up today
and the young writers, they said, "No one's going
to know Zagnut. [ Laughter and applause ]
They're not going to know it." And Seth said,
"Everybody knows Zagnut. You wait.
When we say Zagnut, there's going to be a big cheer
from the audience. [ Laughter and cheering ] And now, Seth -- [ Applause ]
And now -- And I'll tell you what's happening right now. Seth's seeing the silhouette
of his writers and they're celebrating
how wrong he was [ Laughter ]
and it's very --
it's very hurtful that they would -- very,
very cruel that they'd do that. [ Laughter ] [ Cheering and applause ] Trump's only defense,
as far as I can tell, is an incredibly bizarre claim
he keeps making, that the special counsel
in the investigation, a guy named Jack Smith,
is using a fake name. -This lunatic special prosecutor
named Jack Smith. I wonder what it was prior
to a change. -I'm sorry, what, what?! [ Laughter ]
Why do you think
he changed his name? Are you suggesting
something illicit, or are you genuinely curious
about how to do it? [ Laughter ]
Are you trying to pull
a Don Draper yourself and just swap identities
with a different person? [ As Trump ]
I wonder how he changed
his name because, if you could change
your name and dye your hair, you might be able to flee
all your legal troubles [ Laughter ]
and start a new life in a small
village in South America, where people only know you
by your new identity -- Mr. Lindsey Graham. [ Laughter, ohhs, and applause ] When you pull back
from the craziness of this week, one thing is clear -- Trumpism is a giant loser
for the GOP. It's not working,
people don't want it, and they keep making that clear in election after election
after election, yet Republicans won't give up. I have no idea what people
like Marjorie Taylor Greene are thinking.
I can't get inside her head. Although, if I could,
I bet I would say it was... -Repulsive.
It smells bad. [ Laughter and applause ]
And I just -- I think it's a terrible place. -This has been "A Closer Look." ♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
