Limitless Unfiltered

[Music] hello limitless nation and all of our socials man we are just so excited to be here with you for our discussions on church hurt man last week y'all if y'all missed it it was incredible go back watch our youtube replays stay connected all of our series you can find on our youtube channel they're in the series box and make sure that you are keeping up with that god has given limitless a word that is setting people free and so tonight man i'm so excited because i am with two beautiful beautiful women i am pastor kim and this is my favorite woman on the planet my mimi would you like to say you might want to put your mic up to yourself this is my mama and i love you so much i love you too and i'm thankful that i get to do life with you and i'm proud of you oh i love you baby and then we got alexis the beautiful the incomparable alexis hey everyone man tell us a little bit about you tell us tell us how you found us man okay so i was on facebook during the pandemic and somebody shared one of your posts and it was just i can't remember what you were talking about but i was like that quote i was like yes like i shared it and i was like let me go to her page and follow her and then i was like a couple days later i was like she's a pastor so i was like man i gotta go to her church one day so i came on easter i came on easter and tariq came on easter yeah i came on easter and i was like man i love it here and i was like okay god if this is where you want me to be i want to come three more times like three more times guys this is where you want me to be just give me confirmation first day he didn't say anything the first time that he didn't say anything the second sunday he didn't say anything and i was like okay maybe this is that was supposed to be that third sunday i was like god like you know show me and i was like okay you know what you so you ended the service i was getting ready to leave and you grabbed my arm and i was like god okay yay so you yeah you hugged me and i was like man that's confirmation and my mom was here too so that was even more confirmation sounds like man i'm gonna this is here this is my church it's my fan my new family and now you like we're doing life together you are a part of our team you serve every sunday i'm on the media ministry and i'm in your inner circle so we do life together and i'm just so proud of you i was reading over uh some of the notes because you're a part of our church hurt series and uh you said yes yep to uh telling a little bit about your story and i believe that your story is going to really really touch some people today maybe some people that feel like it's a a dark secret they can't talk about it or maybe they feel like they deserved it and um i'm just thankful for your yes you know the craziest thing is you mentioned that you were going to be talking about church hurt a couple of weeks ago and that same day god told me he laid on my heart and he was like she's going to need you now he didn't tell me how i didn't know when but he just let me know she's going to need you so when um we got an email about you doing this and he reminded me she's going to need you and i was like what you know like how would she need me in this like how she doesn't even know me that much so how's she gonna need me so when pastor carla reached out i was like okay god i see and he was like it's time it's time to you know let people know what you've been through and how you've gotten through it yeah because i'm gonna tell you something just me me just sitting here with you uh you sure don't look like what you've been through and i want to tell the people today of how you walked through what you walked through and how you can sit up here with the poise and the beauty and the kindness and the sweetness coming out of your eyes because i always say you can tell a person by their eyes and your eyes are clear so let's let's get into it you ready to get into it yeah let's go so so alexis who hurt you so i experienced church hurt um going into 2019 i decided to come before my church and come out about my pastor sexually abusing me yep i came out i the i told my family and the way i told my family was not like i wasn't going to tell anybody like i was going to take this to the grave but nobody was going to know what happened to me it was going to be between me him and god that was it so i came out to my family and once i told my family i knew they weren't going to let it go so i knew ever since that day like my life was going to change so i went to um once my family found out i went to the chairman of the church who was like the right-hand man to the pastor how long was it after you experienced this did you finally decide to come out i experienced this for i wanted two to three years yes like i said i wasn't nobody's gonna know about this nobody so i i went to the chairman of the church and the chairman of the church and this was my passage before i came to you so the chairman of the church he was we were very very close like he was very close to my family and he was like another dad to me so i went to him and i let him know what was going on and i remember at the end of the conversation he was like i hear you like you know i understand what you went through i get it but he was like but at the end of the day we have to protect the pastor he was like what happened to you was behind closed doors it was behind the curtain and i remember him saying if you bring this before like in front of the curtain then and you lay it out for people to see he said if people decide to leave the church if people decide to give up on god that blood is on your hands he said you are going to be held accountable for bringing this out to people for coming out so i remember that night i was like i can't do that like i can't i can't tell anybody you know anybody else what i've been through because i don't want that butt on my hand and it was just hey so how old were you i'm 26. how old were you when you were going through this i was if i want to say 22 21 i can't remember exactly when it started but it was it was for a while it was for a couple years so back in 2020 2019 2002 man so you're laying in your bed and you're thinking i can't talk about this because we got to protect the pastor that you had already told your family i already told my family so my parents knew and because they knew like they weren't gonna we can't let this go like either he's gonna hear what you have to say or it's not going to be are you scared oh terrified he had like my fat the past pastor he was married he has kids and then our church was so big so many members so i remember i was like if they find out like i'm going to be the reason the church splits i'm going to be the reason the church you know that that they fail so i was like i can't i can't tell anybody but the more the days passed the more people were starting to know and it was getting out there so because probably alexis you weren't the only one i wasn't oh i came out and i told my story and a lot of people were like oh my god thank you for telling your story because it happened to me too that was a good part of it but the bad part was people that were so so close to me like i it was bad like people bashed me i was it was horrible like people were like well what did you have on what did why did you why did you allow him to do that why are you just now saying something that was the biggest thing why are you just now saying something if this really happened to you you should have said something a long time ago why are you just now coming out with this and it was a lot of well just get over it you know he's not perfect he's a man he's a pastor they make mistakes you have to cover him you have to protect him and the type of man he was it was he was so like prideful and he felt like i can do wrong but my like everybody's going to protect me you know it was it was i don't want to say the worst time of my life because it got me to where i am now but it was horrible man it was horrible now did you did y'all finally leave the church or did he ever so confront you ever confront him so when people started to find out and he found out he knew that my parents were going to tell the entire church so what he decided to do was we stopped going to the church my entire family used to go to the church we all stopped going so i remember the chairman reaching out he was like pastor wants to um he wants to apologize to your family so if you guys might you know come into the church one sunday after service and he wants to come before the church and apologize so in my mind i'm thinking thank god he's going to come before the church and let them know what happened and you know apologize we get to the church and long story short it was like 10 minutes he was like if i did something to anybody out there you know um i didn't mean it those are the worst apologies for all of my apologies you know stop saying apology no stop saying if when you start with if you've already messed it up and not one time that he said i apologize i'm sorry it was if i hurt you it wasn't my attention i'm not perfect you know i'm a man i make mistakes and then he was like you know what because i've hurt so many people i'm just going to resign and i'm going to leave so he left and a couple months later he opened up a church another church so alexis how did how did uh how did uh you forgive a person in a situation like this i like like what did you do when he got up and resigned because that obviously wasn't an apology what was this doing to your faith in god man i was so i remember being so angry i was so bitter like i had hate in my heart like i hated him i had people who supported him people who felt like he didn't do it like i was in a dark place i never experienced being in a place like that so you would think that would change my relationship with god which it did for the better but i never blamed him because i knew i was going through what i was going through for a reason like i knew i needed to go through this to help other people come out so i it it took a lot i had to do a lot of praying i had to do a lot of fasting and i'm not talking about praying like god help me forgive him no i had to be on my face praying you know reaching out to god like please help me forgive him help me to let this go and like you say all the time spiritual amnesia like i really had to pray like let me just forget everything that's happened because i don't want to carry anything that anybody has said what he's done like i don't even remember like i want to forgive i want to be freed and i want to move forward i cannot keep holding on to this i can't keep bringing my past into my present to my future and something i had to learn is like people say all the time like when i thought i thought if i forgave him that means he was off the hook so i was like no i'm never forgiving him i'm never getting off this situation but i had to learn that forgiveness is for me alexis i feel like right now you need to look in that camera right there okay because there's somebody today not necessarily uh just happen to forgive a pastor but they're forg they're having to forgive a deacon or they're having to forgive their father that molested them they're having to forgive their mother that didn't fight for them and i want you to look in that camera right there and i want you to tell them the moment that you said god i'm gonna let them off the hook tell them that they can do it yeah so i decided to go ahead and forgive him but something that helped me was i real what god put on my heart was i was asking for forgiveness for things that i had done but he was laying on my heart that i can't forgive you if you're not forgiving my children like yes he hurt you yes he did what he did and i saw that and that doesn't mean he's off the hook but you still have to forgive in order for me to forgive you i had to learn that man yeah because you know unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping somebody else dies and i think that's what mimi always has taught me uh growing up because i mean i've seen church hurt i've walked through church hurt and we see a lot of people pastoring bleeding on people that didn't cut them yeah and so i just think it's so amazing that you can sit up here at 26 years old and have such a rich understanding of i could walk through life and i could let this i could i could let this ruin me make me never love a man make me never trust a man right make me never walk back into a church yes but alexis instead you said i know that i walked through this for a reason oh yeah and so can you say that you've truly forgiven him yes i like what if you saw him in a grocery store see the christ thing is before i was like people were like what do you forgive him i'm like yeah i forgive him but i remember being at a party and somebody was like i think your pastor's outside and i freaked out and that was a moment i knew i really don't forgive him oh yeah i knew i cuz i was i was all over the place like i was freaking out but recently like somebody somebody came to me and they were talking about him but they were talking down about him and at that moment i knew i forgave him because i was like don't don't speak down on him at the end of the day he's a child of god he's we have to honor him because he's still a child of god yeah he did wrong but it'll be wrong of us to because i haven't seen him since then so i don't know the things that god have delivered him from i don't know because he does yeah he does god delivers people yeah so i don't i don't know if he's still the same or if he's changed it's not my place to you know know that but at the end of the day you still like you taught us you still have to honor god's children at the end you still have to honor them you still have to forgive them and you have to move forward and that that's when i knew when they were talking down on him i was like no we can't we can't i don't want to go to his church anymore but right forgive him yeah oh yeah and i learned something i learned with forgiveness is and i'm sure you have too it is a process oh yeah and you may have to forgive again i mean you may see him in the new future and something will come up and pierce your heart and then you choose again to forgive yeah because that's what we do and because i mean if jesus christ could forgive us right of our sins when we mess up every day i know that's right then it is a process i think forgiveness it's not usually a once it's done and that's it oh yeah and something i learned like i know like i'm always praying like god dwelling me living me you know living my heart and something i learned was i can't ask him to live in my heart and then also in my heart i have chaos i have hate i have bitterness he doesn't dwell in it no so i had to learn like i have to like cleanse me help me forgive so that you can dwell in me man alexa did you ever go through because there's somebody watching right now that probably is sitting here saying uh but i'm not alexis like uh if god's really a good god then why did he let those things happen why why didn't he intervene why why did i have to go through did you ever go through a season like that or yeah there were times where i was like why me like out of all people why me but sitting here today this is the answer this is why it's me because he trusted me to be able to go through that experience all of that hurt from not only my past pastor but from the people that were at the church that hope hurt me as well he allowed me to go through all of that to be able to sit here and encourage other people to you know you can you can go through hell and still come out inside on fire you can you can go through it and come out on fire and you can and i it was almost like i need you to go through this because there's other people out here who i need you to help them pull them through it man so i love that so much you know i think that uh a true place of forgiveness it also is linked to uh the chairman you know it's almost like when i've walked through times mimi and alexis where i felt so hurt and i felt so i had i had a phone call today in fact of someone that i was talking to on the phone and in me i i believe that i was hurt and they believed they were hurt and at the end of the day the thing that god has really taught me in this last season was you don't have to fight who was right who's wrong your job is not to go after them your job is not to you know try to why why are they liking because we will spend all of our time alexis watching to see who's who's who's our friend that's really still supporting them after they after they know what they did to me and i think the most beautiful thing that god's taught me in my healing process and will be you know my older years i couldn't even believe i could even say that almost almost 50 i'll be 50 in a year but is that just like i think i'm right they think they're right right and so when he got up and said you know if i've hurt anybody that was not the apology you needed but you know that he knows and god's going to deal with him and the chairman said we we we cover our pastor that's going to be on on the chairman's hands because at the end of the day what we have to understand is god fights for those kids he fights and that's what we do here at limitless y'all we welcome the broken we welcome the misfits we don't that's what i'm so proud of in this whole series is looking at the people mimi that's in our church like alexis and your mom and and and uh eliza and leticia and and and uh tariq and we're looking at y'all and y'all have all the reason the world to be messy and gossipy and we don't have that here right because we are walking in healing we've and forgiveness and so that's what i'm so proud of and for if you're if you're watching tonight you're like man man this story hits home with me because somewhere you could have gotten stuck maybe you're at that place where you feel like you deserved it maybe somebody's asking you like they asked alexis what did you have on did you did you coerce him did you ask for this no you didn't you didn't you didn't deserve what happened to you but just like alexis said i can't go back and change what happened but i can sure give the devil a black eye every day by being healed and telling my story and forgiving and showing other people that forgiveness is the way to go and so man i'm so proud of you alexis thank you and there's somebody watching tonight that i believe your daddy took a lot of your life your daddy took a lot of your life at a young age and you've not known how to let it go and tonight's a choice it's a choice right alexis yes you made a decision yeah what did i say morning you have to get sick and tired of being in that dark place and you have to get up and you have to move forward it's so important to move forward god can't hit god can't use you while you're you know waddling around in your hurt and pain you have to decide to get up he'll forgive and move forward and that's something i had to do i had to like you said me you have to forgive more than once i don't i've said it multiple times oh yeah i forgive him and then god will show me like no you need to do it again you have to forgive some more i remember walking through something from a pastor church hurt and i remember like how can he how can you still be using him and he's not paying he's up there acting like ain't nothing going on but all of this and i remember god spoke to me and said stop worrying about him and get your heart right yep stop being distracted over here because y'all whenever you ain't healed you attract what you are that's how come everybody's messy in your circle yep you you you're you're messy so they're messy and all y'all are complaining and remaining and there's joy in healing there's peace and healing say that so you have to like that's what before like i didn't know like people would say things about peace and joy and i was like you know like whatever but now like being in healing there's so much joy there's so much peace there's so much growth in it like it's and it's possible yeah healing is possible definitely it is possible to walk through an affair and heal it is possible yes betrayal yes rejection come on and you know what we're talking about pastors tonight a pastor and i mean you're talking about somebody that's up here yeah that you look at this man that you you know or this woman or this this teacher you know we have so many people that take advantage of their situation but with that we also know that god is a god of love and mercy and thank god that everyone that's been dealt that card that someone has done you wrong that you knew you did not you nobody deserves it right nobody deserves it but god can change you and that's what we're seeing well you think y'all sometimes the reason church hurt hurts so bad is because we have this idol yes a dollar tree a pastor we make it though right yes yes that's how i was in my past search like it was like he walks on water type of thing so when i came out my story is like no he didn't mean it cover him you know it's okay don't talk about it we have to cover him it's i don't i think that's something we have to change at church in order to stop church hurts stop looking at our pastors like they're idols that's right thank you for doing this because i wonder how many young girls before you were taken advantage of right i wonder how many and then look at you you were brave yeah because it takes a brave soul to to stand up against the tide right when people are telling you no don't say anything so thank you thank you for doing that because it's changed your life but there's no telling we have no idea you will never know how many young women needed to hear what you did right so that they could say no when it happens to them yeah you know what's funny alexis is when i was reading over your story there's someone else that encountered the same thing you did by the same person wow and it gave this person permission that would be wouldn't be able to do this necessarily right but because of your bravery uh you're not trying to take this person down because at the end of the day we're all gonna stand before god and hear well done my good and faithful servant or depart from me i never knew you and god will use the rocks yeah and so he'll use people to get people to the feet of him to to change their lives but at the end of the day we got to stand before god so your bravery is giving other people permission we don't ever want to be like man i'm glad they walk through it too right it's not that we're glad other people walk through what we walk through but i think it allows us to realize it takes that secret that the enemy tries to tell us you're the only one right you're the only one that's ever faced this you're tainted you're like the woman with the issue of blood you're you're you're never going to be used of god you're you're you're going to get back out there and another pastor is going to do the same thing to you so and we hear those voices and so what you've done alexis is you showed us that you have the power you're dement you have dominion over everything yes that's what's so important that you know that it i mean if you face something else i mean because you know we do this life is not easy guys i mean we may be living for jesus but it doesn't mean everybody's sitting on the pew with us on right yeah i mean our church is it's like a hospital so people come so even pastors even leaders in the in churches i mean nobody says that they're perfect they are not perfect right none of us are perfect so it's so important for us to just say we're sorry yes we we're so sorry that you had to go through what you went through because someone would take advantage of their of their position and that's what they were doing taking advantage of their position and i pray for his soul absolutely i pray for his sweet family yes i pray for his wife and children and that's something i had to learn to do and that's how i knew i was healed as well where i could pray for my enemies and call them out by name and not just say lord bless my enemies help my enemies but no god bless their household bless their minds bless their hearts forgive them you know heal them help them deliver them truly pray for them i remember going through something similar just uh from a pastor that would always say things you know to me and i was just like man how can you do that you've got a whole beautiful wife right at home and i remember thinking it started setting me up to where i didn't trust because your wife is so beautiful and yet you're doing this to me you're doing this to everybody right and i just in that season had to learn that not all people are like that right you know and and just because there's a few bad apples don't mean they're all bad and you got to get with someone that you can always tell when when uh a pastor and the wife love each other right you just can tell yeah you know it's just it's just in there the way he looks at her you know and i know so many god has blessed my life with so many incredible pastor friends that have couples i got more couple friends that has just restored my faith and intelligent uh uh men of character uh that truly love the lights out of their wives and so they truly are who they say they are yeah because everybody's not it will never be right so i just want to end this thing with maybe talking to somebody out there right now that uh you have you've you've given up on god because someone has let you down maybe your pastor maybe your daddy was a pastor and they live one way in the church and one way at home and maybe your dad was a deacon i just really felt that drop in my spirit that there's somebody watching today that your daddy was a deacon and he beat the heck out of you at home and you are so devastated and you're so broken and you say i never want to walk back in a church again because of how they lived and i want to i want to tell you something god does change people god changes lives god changes hearts and and don't throw the church away because of someone that was walking through broken brokenness themselves and and give god another chance give church another chance and and and open up do what alexis did and and allow yourself to to to use your pain see i love so much about this church series mimi is because there's no hate we're not making it look like and giving people you know permission to stay in their mess because we've all been church hurt but we are showing you that i've walked through it lexus is saying i walked through it the other shows they're all saying i walk through it mimi's walked through it i've walked through it and we're saying don't deny it embrace it you got to embrace it god can't heal what you won't reveal right and so allow yourself to heal allow god to use you i believe more than anything y'all listen to me that the enemy does not fight you because you're weak he fights you because you're strong it's not that you're not lovable it's not that people don't believe you it's that the enemy doesn't want you to see the goodness in yourself the enemy doesn't want you to get up the enemy wants you to drink for the rest of your life to numb your pain from what happened to you in that church or that church camp or happen in that last season of your life listen today say god come on just repeat this after me in fact say lord i lay my pain at your feet i lay my brokenness at your feet i lay my heartbreak at your feet have your way in my life heal my broken heart bind up my wounds because that's what he says friends that's what he says limitless nation that's what he says rtk inner circle he says that he sticks close to the brokenhearted and he binds up your wounds you're not damaged goods because of what you've walked through you're not gonna look like what you've been through maybe you've been in a season of hell but i just prophesy over you right now that you're coming out on fire you're coming out on fire and so father right now in the name of jesus y'all stretch your hands come on alexis come on me me oh lord right now in the name of jesus i speak healing throughout the airwaves i speak healing in that hotel room i speak healing on that couch i speak healing in that bed in that bedroom i speak life back into your home i speak life back into your body and i say it's over the challenge is over the fight is over i'm speaking to that woman right now that's been broken because of the affair that took place i'm speaking of that woman that feels like your life ended the minute he walked out on you you shall live and not die i'm speaking to you sir that your wife just flipped her lid and left you with those kids you shall live and not die i'm speaking to that woman of god that you are a pastor's wife and all of a sudden he comes in and says he doesn't love you anymore and you are trying to find your place i'm speaking of that man that lost your spouse in in this coved situation and now you're trying to figure out where you fit ma'am you're trying to figure out where you fit and god is saying your best is yet to come i'm speaking to you today that you shall live that you shall live i feel the earth rumbling under your feet right now you're awakening oh the breath is coming back into your dead draw bones and i just say today it ain't over it ain't over and as long as you have a pulse god's got a plan for you in jesus name lord i thank you for speaking to my friend's life today i thank you lord that you're allowing that person to get up today and take their life back they shall live they shall live your hell is going to be a message god is wanting to turn your scars into stars your pain into a pulpit you're messing to a message and i just hear the lord saying sir there's a man watching right now and you were in ministry and you feel like your failure was final but i'm speaking you lost a lot you lost a lot but god is saying i'm gonna put it back together again and it's gonna be back together better than it was before because your mess is going to be a message to the world of how you can take a mess and turn it into a masterpiece so today excel exhale the doom and gloom excel the pain excel what they did to you and breathe in god's life his love and he's got plans for your life he's got plans in jeremiah 29 11. he says for i know the plans that i have for you see if the lord plans to bless you and not harm you give you a future and a hope and listen you're welcome here at limitless you're welcome here at limitless if you are in the atlanta area across from whitewater high school we welcome you in this place 10 o'clock and 11 30 every single sunday the whole month of september we're talking about church hurt and you're gonna i promise you you're gonna be delivered if you stay connected i don't care what it even if it ain't church heard it's just hurt you're going to be delivered because we're going to show you we're going to change your perspective so y'all we'll see you sunday and make sure limitless nation you bring a friend and all of our eye church listen stay connected be intentional all month because god's gonna be speaking through you and activating you into your next season we love you for you guys [Music] find a place [Music]

Channel: Real Talk Kim

Views: 562

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: NWsWDvO9XEA

Length: 33min 58sec (2038 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 11 2021