Life After Divorce – There is Hope

my guests have experienced abandonment betrayal they know the pain and loneliness of separation the hardship of divorce and the challenges of remarriage and blended families you know that God wastes nothing of our life experience dr. Derek Muller and his wife Stacy have made it their mission and ministry to be a light in the darkness that so many are facing their new book is appropriately titled life happens well it's a pleasure to welcome from st. Catherine's the pastor and executive director of Central Community Church Derek and Stacey is the Niagara director of the Canadian Christian business Federation hmm whoa whoa this is incredibly significant because just a few years ago neither of you expected ever to have a leadership position in the kingdom of God again Derek take us to to the derailment be the Mack truck well we all have like a second testimony or life and this is my second testimony of in a sense of what God's been doing God's grace in real life after sort of traveling the world in some ways as speaking and I had a book that really went kind of worldwide travel was my spouse came home I was waiting in Emmett inand I came home at the airport and I was being picked up at the airport and my son was there was which was unusual and and he said he said well your wife is that your wife is that at a friend's house so I went home and opened a door and was kind of unusual and opened the door and there was a note there and a note basically said I'm sorry but I've been seeing other men I'll give you some time I'll see you in C in a week or so and at that point life changed I had actually been away looking for a 30th anniversary ring I've been in ministry I've been a president of Bible College and all of a sudden is like I just got whacked over the head and and I remember sort of it was one of those letters that you see on TV but it can't be happening to me and and everybody actually thought we had one of the best marriages going and that's when life changed and that's when my whole world changed and my ministry change Stacy for you was it Mother's Day or the day after but you had a very similar tragedy really I received a call that my husband of 20 years had said I don't love you anymore and we're going to get a divorce as though I really didn't have a say he had been working out of town quite a bit but we had four children you build the marriage for it so there you go and two delicious grandchildren and so in that place I felt abandoned I felt lost I felt the wind out of my sails but I realized I was still in the boat but I didn't know how to steer anywhere and so continuing with that the very community programs that we had helped in I was in the line up for food I was really because there was no support at that time and in fact to this day there's no contact with my sons so for them being seven eleven thirteen it was fourteen and seventy dad no contact dad and so in that they have really struggled with that fatherlessness and that rejection now you're both God's kids you're both serving the Lord Derek you're loaded with theology and counseling and all that you said you know you pastored a church and Stacey I'm looking at he brought a beautiful card today of really thanks and appreciation for this ministry through years of the ministry but particularly when you were 21 I called 100 Huntley Street I saw a program and I called and I just said you know that very thing that I've been looking searching for leaving home at 16 I needed to find that and I was living in Toronto and I called one night on the street and I prayed a prayer with someone on the prayer counselor to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and that's where really it turned for me and in fact after that becoming so involved that I took the prayer counseling course where they would you know dial into your home and I would pray with people and I've got the certificate with a little class and it was very instrumental for me and also the mentoring that the the parts of the programs that you would you know share I'm so fake foundation very clear but your expectations were shattered and I mean there was a time where we wouldn't have a divorced person on this program life has changed life happens and how what was your outlook in this place of derailment I think for myself it was a point that I'd counseled people been with people and I realized that my life is no longer the same in ministry it was hard getting a ministry job for for a while and it was interesting as I work with the Billy Graham organization do a lot of work for them was there my hope project and I remember when they first asked me I said like what do I have the offer I was at my lowest point and I said well your life is an example of hope and and you can bring hope and I thought it's interesting I never shared for a while what was happening my own life and yet men and pastors I have had the opportunity to speak to pastors right across the country and continue to do that through a variety of reconnection seminars that we do as a Billy Graham and it's interesting there's always one or two guys that come up and I've started to share my story and they said you know I think I came here today just to hear that there is hope in the midst of all that pain all that darkness because as men like I everything I did was was to have the best marriage my parents were separated my parents were divorced and but I just add a little fact in there you were in seven foster homes in eight years as a child some some were good homes or some were bad homes and and really at the age of 14 I tried to commit suicide because I really like the kids sort of beat on me I have two scars here where they took my face and decorated back the bus West and so really when when I gave my life to Christ that this is the most I gave him a life of Christ that at 14 because of a high school teacher sharing the gospel I remember I was about to hang myself and and I stopped and I said and I looked at the ceiling I said god you're my last chance and God spoke into my heart and he said no Derek I'm your only chance and I think you know you fast forwarded 30 40 years ago ahead and you realize God is still my only chance and we can be a light in the midst of of darkness and no matter what we've gone through our God deals in second chances Stacy what courage I mean you went back to school for nursing where you two met how did God bring these broken pieces together and in what is now a really significant ministry well it's been five years really firm affirm for me and and I felt I can make it even as a single mother I've proven that to go back to school to become a nurse to look after the boys to really put them first in my life as a single parent and we very important in the green room about the vulnerability in the rebound mode what is the rule well the rule is for every four years that you've been married or for every year four years of married the one year on your own so that rate yeah wait just wait rush into it and then you've been on your own five years yeah and then when we did meet on the Internet yeah did we tell ya after like a thousand hits I thought okay well maybe I wouldn't you know meet anybody when I went to go off and then I had 1200 so but we met and I was actually pressing sent to just close down my pro folks I thought you kick on you can bring me someone I don't have to and actually I had press send and we had met and really our life he says it collides but it doesn't it actually just nicely sort of package there and we get along so well our blended family of eight children I think I've been John 14 where you know it says I am the way it's not it's not that he's asking he is the way he just wants us to know that we have hope and that even though we have had our past in our divorce and separation and brokenness that there is hope and life happens but God is good October 12th 2013 you were married Brady Bunch is that a stretch it was an interesting when he it was like a Brady Bunch or eight is enough but you know it's really interesting when my kids finally sort of as a dad you know it's okay you can even date and I you know I went online and and we met and she took took for a while because the first minute first note I got back from her was sorry I'm going offline and the second one was and then there's another email was here's my phone number so it actually started from there our wedding was in a beautiful little Baptist Church in beam's Vil stained-glass windows for kids on each side that our kids are wedding parties with candles there and you know is it was an emblem of hope that even in the midst of pain God had provided it's not God's planned that we'd be divorced but God provided for us in our pain with each other and I have a wonderful wife she loves to Dickens out of me and she does great things with women getting women together over coffee and just helping lane-change we mid-quarter actions in our life bringing that hope and your book coming soon coming soon life happens also you know significant ministry you have a theme verse mm-hmm for the book tell us that but it's Joshua 1:9 and I think the key principals coming out of the book which really helped sort of we realize there's not a lot of easy answers but we can't say one thing that you can have courage right you can have courage you don't have to fear right you can be strong and you don't have to be discouraged at all and know that God is going before you and that he will never leave you or forsake you so we thought you know what if anything we can tell people that you know what you're not alone and if we can use our life as slices of life just as a way you can associate so you could know that you're not alone continue the journey we can be helpful continue the journey I love proverbs 24:16 though a righteous man falls seven times he rises again you know what the reason we can have that hope that we can rise again is the amazing grace of God and you are bringing that hope to an increasingly broken culture and so grateful for that now tomorrow night at 7 o'clock heritage Christian books in st. Catharines you are going to be speaking on this theme for those living in the life that has happened and the official launch for your new book is a 30s at Central Community Church over three or four services will be online that's what would be actually launching the book and I'll be sharing I will be sharing our story ad through that time yeah so we were quite excited about that and your fall to catch up with you thank you for your openness and for all that you are sharing and I want to say to you if you are in that place where life has just happened and it's just looking dark there are two people who've been there did not expect the great things that God has done we want to encourage you we have people on our prayer lines around the clock you can call right now and find the encouragement that changed Stacey's life at 21 and gave you the foundation she needed for all it was to come please call us we love you we are here for you

Channel: 100huntley

Views: 18,894

Rating: 4.6984925 out of 5

Keywords: interview, huntleystreet, jul-09-15, HS9931, 100huntley, Christian, pain and suffering, divorce, marriage, hope, family

Id: ik07tUHwf9A

Length: 12min 27sec (747 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 09 2015