Brock Lovert: so Miss Rose Dawson you're
claiming that this naked picture is you Yes indeed my dear, indeed it is! Prove it HMPPH!!! Old Rose: It's been 84 years, and I can still remember the
smell of the fresh paint! [THE LEGO TITANIC PARODY] Old Rose: It was the ship of dreams to everyone else, but I was only there to get married to some
snobbish stuck-up rich guy! Cal: I'm filthy rich! Now, marry me Rose! Rose's mum: Yea! Now daughter, Better polish that pickaxe girl, cause it's time to DIG SOME GOLD! SHEESH!! YES! Now let us board this unsinkable ship! God himself could not sink it Old Rose: And God, took that personally But life had other plans for me..... Jack: HAHA! I won! Now give me the ticket! wha... Ho.. HOW! HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NEXT MOVE?!! You see Mickey, every night in my dreams, I see you, and I feel you. And that is how I know, YOU'LL GO ON AND MAKE THAT STUPID MOVE! Now give me that ticket Ya Mouse! Hmmph!!! YES!! Captain Smith: Take her to sea, Mr. Murdoch I want to go far across the distance and feel the wind in my hair Right away! Captain Ismay: OI! Full spin ahead. I want my headlines. But what about the icebergs Mr. Ismay? Do you think my Douche-Stache gives a crap? NO! I have placed enough lifeboats on this ship for the better half to escape! Now, all ahead full. Yes Sir! All ahead full! All Ahead Full! ALL A HEAD FOOLLLL!!!! Old Rose: And there she sailed, taking me back to America in chains....... Cal: WOW! This food is amazing! Hmmm... Speaking of amazing, You know what else is amazing? ME! I came up with the idea for this Unsinkable Titanic! That's right Me! Thomas Andrews: Well I was the one who designed her! That's why she's unsinkable. You see, the fewer lifeboats there are, the lighter the ship is. And the lighter a ship is the less likely it is for the sink! That is why we are rich! Old Rose: I realized I couldn't take this anymore! so I did what any sane human would do... Jump off the boat to my horrific death! Jack: DANG! You're hot! Rose: What? I mean... would you mind climbing back over to reduce the spaces between us? I'm Jack Dawson! Okay. Fine! Rose: OUCH
Jack: WOAH! GASSSPPP! SEXUAL HARASSMENT! There's intense sexual harassment
going on here! Hey x3 YOU! Stop sexually harassing my future wife! Only I can do that! What? No you can't! You guys are mistaken! I slipped on some water and almost accidentally fell out of the ship! Jack Dawson here saved me! Yea.. Okay whatever Back to smoking Well, at least offer him something Okay, Mr Jack, how would you like to come to the filthy rich people's dining room for some dinner tomorrow night? DAYUMM! Count me in! So like, my mom gave me a lot of money. Well my dad gave me.. like alot of money too! Well, my grandfather gave my nephew who gave my sister who gave my grandmother who then gave me more money than both of you HA HA HA HA! MoNey x3! Yes! Money! Ok, this is a complete waste of my time I gotta go Ughh! What the! This is ridiculous! Come with me, I'll teach you how to spit on people! HMMPPHPHHH! Hey! Why the long face Cal? I knew you went spitting with that Jack Dawson fella last night What? How'd you find out? Alright lads, welcome to the "Pathetically Poor Peasant Spitting Festival!"
Alright! Yeah! Come on Rose! I'll show you how it's done SPIT SOUND BRUHHH Okay! Now you try Rose: Okay! SPIETE Did I mention I have money? "Sniff" What the! That's Rose's saliva! I'm sorry Cal! AIUHRAJKBFDJ!!! You will never see Jack once more! Is that clear? Yes it's clear GOOD Now here's a super expensive Heart of the Ocean Diamond You see It shows I love you Now go on and wear it or something WIFE!! HMMPPP!! Jack! I hate Cal Can I be your girlfriend instead? Shhhh... Give me your hand okay now close your eyes I'm closing it spread out your arms now open your eyes Jack! I'm flying! yes you are, Rose yes, you are I'm a genius Hey could you draw me naked? What the Dang! You thirs--- Alright now it has come time where I strip, so that you can draw me Time to time to draw I guess What the Hey! That's my future wife! you pathetic peasant poor artist! Jack: Quick Rose! Wear some clothes! Near.. Far.. Wherever you are... I'll find you! Hey you ain't supposed to be her-AHH!! Oi! That was great! Yeah! Thanks for riding us here and helping us escape Mr horse! Nightguard: Hey! Hey! You guys aren't supposed to be here Well, you are'nt supposed to be here too Yes aren't you guys supposed to be looking out for icebergs or something? UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GASPSPSS!!! [British swear word] Iceberg! Straight Ahead! Blimey! Iceberg Lounge! Oh bollocks! This is bad! Bloody hell! We're all gonna die! HARD TO STARBOARD! Captain Smith: What's all the commotion about? We can simply evade this Iceberg with a simple turn of the steering wheel See? -Yes!
-Oh my God! Yes! I'm king of the world! OH BOLLOCKS! So uhhh I I screwed up and we hit an iceberg Murdoch: Who cares Captain! It's not like the Titanic can sink it's Unsinkable! Right Mr Ismay? YES! It is Unsinkable! At least that's what the ship designer, Thomas Andrews, assured me Now, all ahead full! It is I! The great ship builder, Thomas Andrews! And I'm here to tell you.... that I lied GASPS X3 WAIT! Are you... Are you saying that the Titanic is... Yes! The Titanic is in fact.... SINKABLE!!! Yeah, screw you losers I'm getting on a Lifeboat Hello? Did anything go wrong with the ship? I felt a shudder Not to worry Madam! We probably bumped into a shark or something We'll be on our way as soon as possible In the meantime, would you like a foot massage, or a five course meal? No it's fine! Thank you! Hello? Did anything go wrong in the ship? I felt a shudder SHUT YOUR FACE! YOU PATHETIC POOR CLASS TICKET HOLDER! Now go back to your room and eat your cat food! Uhh hello? Uhh the ship is sinking I'll need all women and children to come here to fill in the lifeboats, that we totally have enough for every single one of ya OI! What's with the male misogyny? [Incomprehensible mimicking] Just shut up and get your wife and children's arses up here you little male man Lovejoy: Look! It's a naked picture! That's my fiancé Not anymore She's mine now! HMPHHP!!! Ugh! You little [ __ ] What the hell do you think you're doing mate? HMPH! The ship's bloody sinking! Now get on the Goddamn Lifeboat! Now Rose, get on the Lifeboat! No! Rose! Just get on the Lifeboat! Okay Jack, I will! Down x5 Wait! I can't board this lifeboat without Jack, I'm a woman in 1912 Which means I'm incapable of taking care of myself without a man! What the heck? HMPHHH! Why are you so stupid Rose? OW! [Kissing sounds] You're so stupid Rose! You jump, I jump! Right? [Gun shot] What the! Rose is mine! What? WHAT ARE YOU INSANE?! Dude! We gotta get out of here! HMMMPHH!!!! Quick Rose! Over there! MST: What is up you guys? on the dusk of this terrible disaster, I give you the "Titanic Violin Band" and "Ceiling Deon" [Clears throat] [Hymn to the sea by Ceiling Deon] HOLY CRAP! Well, at least it can't get any worse! ARGH! You gotta be S__ting me! Rose: Ouch! Rose! Oh no! It's going up now It's going up again Jack! I believe this is where we first met Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! The boat's going down okay? And you gotta hold your breath Understand? What? Why? Because of like the suction and stuff! look just do it! This will take a whole physics lesson if we continue! Okay I can do this! Propeller man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This is it Rose Get ready! Hey look! It's a door! Alright! Let's both get on it! The water's freezing No! Only I can fit on it! Wha.. but it's obviously big enough for the both of us Not if I take up all the space! If you love me enough, just go with it! Ugh! Okay, fine! EYY! We came back! Anyone still alive? Jack! Are you alive? No of course not I'm dead Jack... Im sorry I promise I'll never let go Old Rose: I actually did in fact let go immediately after, and threw him off the door! But I managed to get on a lifeboat and 84 years later, I'm here! When This was about 84 years back? No! I mean when? What? I said, 84 years back! No! I mean when the heck did anybody ask you about your stupid Titanic story? Here you are, some crazy old lady, barging into our ship claiming to prove that this naked picture is of you and then you tell us some long irrelevant story about this Jack guy and in the end you still can't prove that this naked picture is you! Alright fine Look at the picture, Now look at me! HOLY TITANIC! IT REALLY IS HER!
