Learning to Work Through Your Emotions

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] hello everyone and welcome to this broadcast mark dejesus here going to talk about emotions today and i pray this is a practical resource for your life and for your journey so welcome to this i really see this as an important area that we need to address in our life and in our journey because we are beings that are relational we are formed by how we do relationships we're formed by our thinking right we talk a lot in christianity about thoughts but we don't really talk about the emotional aspect of it and we have separated thoughts and emotions as though they are separate entities from each other and they're not they are a part together in this journey so i pray that this will be an encouraging resource for your life or where you're at for where you're headed for what you're going through it will um i think add some practicality to the process so let's get right into this can we i want to dig right in to what emotions can be for your world for your existence i want to keep this very grounded i want to keep it healthy i want to keep it where you can actually use this share it with others and let it be a valuable resource for your life and for your journey it might be helpful to sit down with somebody that you trust or maybe a group of people that you're trying to walk the journey with that you could discuss this further let it be a resource for your life let it be a resource for your journey okay emotions we kind of look at emotions let's first ask a series of questions i'm gonna i'm gonna use this as though we had done a lot of work together and i'm gonna as though we were working one-on-one i'm gonna give you an exercise that's probably five to ten sessions worth of stuff that you can process out and these are things you can discuss things you can use with those that you're encouraging right so i the the thesis of this time together the bottom line is learning to work through your emotional world now with that in mind growing up how were you taught to deal with your emotions that's kind of the opening question it's the opening thought that i encourage you to reflect on and trust me when i'm navigating through this we talk about emotions people go they get all nervous they go what's going to happen trust me we're going to navigate we'll find some good things and some good territory in this we first have to ask how were you taught to deal with your emotions some people would say not at all some people would say well i was told i was too emotional growing up how many of you out there were told and you are currently told you're too emotional you're just too emotional you're too sensitive you know you hear that over and over again were there only certain emotions that were allowed like hey it's great if you're happy if you're encouraging if you are bringing good news if you are having a good day if you're helpful if you're achieving if you're joyful all that's great but all these other emotions no no you know was were people telling you to just fix you real quick stop acting that way don't be sad boys don't cry don't do that don't act that way what was the emotional world like was there no emotion you know some people say well you know what mark there was no emotion i was raised by wolves okay well what did the wolves what did the wolves teach you about about emotions what instructions did the wolves give you um so this goes into two avenues it goes into home life it goes into church life those are kind of two areas so family parents upbringing home was the emotional life like could you share what you were going through and in relationship find your way through the emotion or did you share an emotion there was a harsh reaction shut it down shame shame shame shame shame shame you know was it like that where was i think that's a common one is that there wasn't much room to share it so you developed this shutdown hiding kind of response now i'm not going to bother you may not have said that as a kid or maybe you did but you just over time stopped sharing because it wasn't a pleasant experience she'd kind of hidden some of those emotions some of his feelings so now you're an adult and so many adults i interact with they have emotions they have no idea what to do with they're shoving them down they get stuck in them they're misinterpreting them there's a lot of misinterpretation and i'm going to get into that a little bit more so the first thing is just to be honest with what was your emotional upbringing i encourage you have a journaling exercise have a sit down with someone and and and talk through what was your emotional life like if you have a small group sit down and just share in in safety what is it what was your upbringing no judgment nobody correcting just listen because that sets the template for how you're going to process your life with christ your life with people with your life with the thoughts that you have what floats along the thought pathway right again i'm wanting to as a goal we're going to work through emotions now many people said well i i christianity has often said well we don't follow our emotions so we don't deal with emotions that's it's actually impossible possible to think without any emotion now you may you may think you are not operating out of emotion but emotions drive so much of your thought life every thought has a corresponding emotion to it and an emotion that's that's that's tied to it creates an interpretation that interpretation then motivates what you think about what you don't think about what you pay attention to what you don't pay attention to how much help have you gotten in being able to do that and i think most people would say little to none yet it's the most important thing that you do on a regular basis what thoughts you pay attention to your emotional association with it right what i mean by that is so if i was to say to some of you um going to school well for some going to school has a pleasant emotional connection to it so they have good memories i think about this other people you mentioned just going to school and dread comes over them for them their emotional story attached to that experience was terrifying or was awful or filled with a lot of traumatic so we have associations with our thoughts and so for many of you that struggle with your thoughts it's not the thought it's not the the data of the thought it's the emotion that gets triggered in you which then creates an association so from there it either causes fight flight freeze you know all sorts of pathways you either condemn yourself or be encouraged right so when you work through your emotion you learn to discover the empowering interpretation that helps you and i am a major big big believer in these three you see on the candles behind me faith hope and love and i'm glad the tallest candle there is love those are fake by the way that's just battery powered lights not real not real candles on fire there fake fire there real fire in here in my heart so i want to be able to help you to navigate what am i feeling but also what interpretations have surrounded my emotions that keep me stuck that's where the the trick is the trick is in the interpretation the meaning and the majority of us that get stuck in our emotional world is we don't know how to interpret how we're feeling and what we're working through so that it can lead us into healing through things really finding some deep meaningful processing i talked about are you in another video are you ruminating are you venting or are you really processing i even did a video on emotions when you feel dead inside how do you deal with that right so i'm gonna there's gonna be some crossover in this okay so first question i'm asking you is what were you taught regarding emotions growing up home life church life etc so today what is your current relationship to your emotions and i'm going to give you kind of two options and i'm and there's a spectrum in between one extreme is you stuff them you stuff them you push them away you avoid them you don't deal with them for various reasons you're afraid of them you don't know how maybe you just stay busy never deal with it right it's a chronic problem that people they don't deal with their emotions so then they don't know how to be still so they have to keep themselves busy till they die because they don't know how to just deal with how they feel then there's another side the other side of the spectrum which is you get stuck in them you can tend to sulk in them ruminate in them spin in them obsess in them go around the mountain a bunch of times over and over and over and over again get stuck where there seems to be no fruitfulness right so where do you see yourself on the spectrum do you find yourself maybe even a little bit of both right where you find yourself shoving shoving then they come out and and they explode right and then you get stuck and you kind of fall maybe into some pity or victim thinking or what was me never things are never going to get better what do you tend to lean towards when it comes to the difficult emotions in your life the challenging ones i'll get to that in just a second okay so question number one is well how are you taught growing up and currently where do you lean do you lean more towards the stuffing or the sulking you know which which kind of pathway and where on the spectrum would you find yourself in that okay so let's go further furthermore what we want to talk about is what emotions do you find difficult to feel i'll try to give some personal examples that i discovered the most common emotions that are difficult for people to feel is uh sadness sadness regarding something in their own life which then if you're if you have trouble processing sadness in your own life it can also be challenging how to effectively process sadness when you're talking to someone else who's going through something and they're experiencing sadness and if you've not had enough experience with it you can be uncomfortable and so then we do uncomfortable things like we just try to fix people we just give them quick advice we just tell them well you know we give them a good christian cliche while i'm praying for you well jesus loves you just give it to god lay it at the cross all this stuff that's really interpreting us saying we don't know what to say embarrassment is another difficult emotion hopelessness despair emptiness this is a gonna have to do some some talks on this subject there's a lot of emptiness people are feeling some of it is because of brokenness in their life some of it is they seeing what's going on in the world there's certain aches the bible even talks about that ache of groaning of a waiting for the manifestation of what god is going to do you know romans romans 8 talks about that all nature and all creation aches with a groaning right that egg in your heart how do you deal with that how do you process that how do you feel that do you just avoid it and go well you know just do the next thing just do the next thing go to work go to work go to work stay busy busy busy right because an idol mind is the devil's playground it's like that's actually not a scripture but but anyway anger anger's a very common one you don't want to let people see your anger so you stuff it down but then that it's like a pressure valve that's ready to pop at any moment then the anger bursts out and you feel terrible for expressing the anger you were not given room on how to work through things that make you angry sadness and anger and embarrassment were big ones and are ones i'm still learning in my journey i didn't know how to be sad i started with that i don't know how to be sad so what would happen is i would just get stuck stuck and i would i'd find myself just in pity and just a self-hating internal anger a self-blame and that that combustion if it doesn't get processed properly often leads to depression for many many people depression is actually coming out of self-hate and unprocessed pain in their life that gets you know stuck inside of them and so then it blocks emotional flow in their life because you have an emotional flow and the way that i try to describe emotions is like the waves of the sea you they they kind of happen they go back and they go they go forth sit down next time you're at the ocean if you happen to live near one or go to one or go on vacation and just notice the the consistency of the waves back forth back forth and that's kind of the emotional world of our life those emotions flow through they but the the wave comes up but it doesn't stay there it moves back then you have certain storms and those represents the harder battles in life and i've been living in time we've had a number of like thunderstorms coming through you know our neighborhood and through our area where we live and boy just like wow you know that's all just when you thought you've heard loud um thunder it's like boom like explosions are going off right so the storms come in they become the more intense seasons now storms never stay forever do you notice that in real life storms never stay forever now they create a lot of hit and they create a lot of like damage right and just like that you can go through emotional seasons that take a real hit on your heart trials pain struggle that make it really really difficult but we're learning to settle ourselves and get back into what it means to live healed live live more grounded i talked about in my what is love video part one about the goal the biblical goal of experiencing love is that it roots us and then it grounds us and so god wants to anchor you in the midst of your emotional world but it takes practice it takes practice in allowing god to mature us so i didn't know how to be sad i had to learn how to be sad to feel it work through it and discover and i found it took time to patients it took different map a different mindset some other difficult emotions that i find christians in general i'm talking to to believers in christ guilt when you're not loved properly in a healthy way guilt becomes a driving force in your life for example many people that struggle with what's called scrupulosity or religious ocd their life has not been rooted and established in love and in grace and in nurture so they grab onto certain pressures driven out of guilt guilt becomes their compass if you notice in the life of christ he was moved with compassion never moved by guilt in fact he disrupted people's guilt patterns a lot of people guilted them guilted him left and right jesus you should have been here a few days ago jesus your mother's here there he responded to guilt in ways that really did not satisfy people's guilt trips people want to send you on guilt trips you don't have to take them but it takes time to learn how much we've been driven by guilt what about anxiety what's your approach to anxiety many people will email me or or or communicate to me mark i need help i need session work why what's going on i'm having panic attacks i'm having anxiety and um they just want to get rid of it as quick as possible well anxiety is a very disturbing emotion for sure very very much so it's not something you want to live with for a long time i get it i've been through it if you've been at a 10 i know what a 10 is like if you've been at a 12 i know what a 12 is like i know what that's like for long periods of time and one of the things i learned is i didn't know how to compassionately deal with anxiety so what are some of the emotions you find difficult to feel like when they rise up they become difficult um is it difficult if you find some form of craving some kind of lust that rises up and you recognize oh uh your moral conscience says okay that's not a thought i would want to have but you struggle with it have we been taught how to deal with that emotion or just like shut it down shut it out shut it out and in some ways just hiding it suppressing it made it worse instead of bringing it into the light of love and letting god heal the deeper issue because all these emotions i just shared these emotional thoughts these things that have emotions they have underlying things that need attention usually because for for years we've been in christianity trying to get rid of lust by just clipping the branches we're just chasing symptoms we really don't know what drives the lust it's a massive unmet need for love and a person that doesn't actually know how to receive true love any addiction is coming out of emptiness and pain it's a desperate need for love so if you have some form of lustful craving where you you're constantly craving for money or sex or inordinate affection of any kind there is a deeper deeper root issue need of deep emptiness and brokenness that you're probably not aware of and there's an inability to receive true love so when true love arrives to you you don't know how to receive it and then you become programmed to look for the rush to make you feel better that's why christians were notorious at um to be to be quite honest we would leave church and go to the buffets and gorge ourselves and it was like well we didn't do these kinds of bad things but then we we just pulverized our bodies with foods that were terrible for us you know and we weren't dealing with the issue of the need for love in our hearts we're fighting the devil with a fork and you can't fight the devil with a fork you can't fight your brokenness with food you get a temporary feeling of satiation you get a temporary feeling of that like nurture comfort but you're not getting your heart healed so see you see i'm already on these tangents this is why i encourage christians we can't be afraid of emotions and even though initially an emotion may say something that that seems like it leads to something wrong we need to be people that know how to process the emotional life with people in the power of confident love grace mercy god is here mark this is what i'm feeling it's okay god is here let's work through it instead of stop thinking that way don't ever say that again and what we do is we drive people into shame we drive them into hiding and in the dark sin grows i'm gonna pause right there in the dark sin grows right and take a sip of some tea while you think about that for a second the problem is people don't want to come into the light why because the light is is the way it's been presented is like a spotlight if any of you have ever worked in theater and theater programs which i have you get these spotlights on people and the person and if you've ever stood on a stage where a spotlight is on you it is blinding it is blinding and if you've ever worked in a church or theater or some type of stage production where i have stage lights it's very hard to actually see your audience a lot of people don't really realize this it's very it's it's challenging you have to sometimes go like this and shade your eyes to be able to even see the audience you kind of look weird standing up on stage like why because the light is blinding and that's what we do we just kind of blind people with with light and go well this is the truth and we haven't learned how to how to lovingly if if love's not there we have no business going into the deeper diagnostics love is not love is not like salt and pepper you add to something love is the main ingredient and if it's not there that's what we got to work on and in your emotional world that's why i keep redirecting people it's got to be back to what it means to be loved in the midst of your troubling emotions emotions you can't seem to get a hold of and now emotions are meant to be worked through not avoided or whisked away i also want to say this too emotions what people struggle with who've not been emotionally trained in heart connection is they feel an emotion and they assume this comes from me and this is who i am emotions are not who you are they're things you're going through it doesn't mean that's who you are now this is where many people get tripped up because they feel an emotion they say this came from me this is who i am and that is terrifying and it's like no it's not it's not you and it's not who you are and it's floating through you what you need to do is you need to see yourself as separate this is who i am and who i'm becoming this is something i'm just feeling and working through versus a permanent thing versus a this is who i am um and and this is not gonna be forever okay so now let me get to the practical let's get to the practical of this because where i've taken you so far in these 20 25 minutes is just kind of giving some setup okay let's go a little bit deeper working through your emotions effectively this is where you i want to i hope you wrote the questions down i want to take you a little bit deeper now the way that we work through our emotions effectively number one and we cannot leave this we cannot move on from this we cannot skip past this do not pass go do not collect 200 do not think that this is something you quickly learn and move on from you have to learn when it comes to emotions how to be a compassionate witness in how you see yourself so the first thing you need is the lens you got to put on the lens so use glasses actually this need my glasses need to be cleaned a little bit many of you your emotional lens and how you see things is tinted there's a tint to the lens now i've got a pair of glasses here that i'm wearing now and they've got these blue i don't know what you call them blue blocking super sonic you know whatever whatever whatever is happening on your computer screen it's it's bad for sleep at night and so because your your eyes are taking in there's certain things coming off your screen so the lenses i have help to block that so that when i close out the night after looking at screens all day and so forth that they don't have that kind of negative effect they filter it right so your lens that you put on if it does not have compassion in it you're not going gonna see what you need to see so people go yeah well i'm experiencing love i'm being more loving to myself but i'm still teed off and i can't stand where i'm at as you're still wearing the other glasses when we wear the glasses of compassion it changes everything the best example is jesus i use it over and over again and it's just it's worth it's worth learning for the rest of our lives jesus and the woman caught in adultery and the the people of law had on the lenses of judgment condemnation and and and law and punishment and jesus turned the tables on them by inserting compassionate grace didn't compromise sin because his words were go and sin no more people who have not been taught the power of love think becoming more loving means compromising right we're compromising sin we're rewriting sin it's certainly happening in our world today in rapid pace but that's not what jesus was bringing he was bringing the atmosphere by which sin can actually be worked through so without it i sometimes say what's the point you're going to do like performance fixing well i better make sure i do my three this and four of that and make sure i do better i'm just gonna go do better we become do better christians and paul goes it's worthless why am i why am i yelling yelling yelling i got to be careful because people write to me and say mark i i go to sleep listening to your videos or your podcast and so i don't want to like all of a sudden yell and you've been drifting to sleep and now i'm speaking to you in your sleepy time and then dude i jolt and wake you up right so compassionate witness what does that mean the picture is beautiful because it's a witness is what somebody who is seeing what's going on but is compassionate about it so the way i the way i started practicing this was actually i discovered it in my work with people one-on-one then i started reading research and things and people who are in the work of helping people like wow they're applying this too that's cool so sometimes it's kind of cool when you kind of feel prompting to try something well here's what i tell people when i was teaching people how to love themselves the way that god loves them i would i would ask them who's the person the human on this planet they love the most like i just mean like somebody you just adore and usually it was a spouse a lot of times if they had kids their their child like you just you want to get you want to get to the heart quickly get to their how they feel about their kids and how they process the life of their kids usually or maybe a really good friend if they're not married they're single and they'll have children they're a really good friend or someone who's they just care about a lot and i said okay i want you to get them a vivid picture of them in your mind and then what i'll do is i'll lay out the problem that we're talking about i say let's take everything you're struggling with and let's just put it in a bucket and pour it into this person that you love right and they come to you and they share this and you are connected fully connected to the love that you have for them what would you say to that person and what they never say is judgmental stuff condemning stuff hurry it up stuff what's the matter with you stuff it's i understand i'm sorry i um i want to be here for you they they and i said okay so what it would it look like to give that to yourself and they go you know it's like this like almost like on the record it goes you know remember when the record used to like you you records if you're younger than me you may not know what a record is but when i was a kid i listened to records and if you bump the record player it'd make this noise right and then people made art out of it in hip-hop music where they then they can they can flip the wax a bit right and all of a sudden they would do that they would feel like no i can't i can't do that for me ah okay that's where we're going to start developing we often with an emotion we are quick to judge it and when you judge under condemnation and you judge under judgmentalism and you judge under shame your assessment will be inaccurate it will lack empowerment so you go man i feel so sad today so empty it's because i have not been reading my bible enough okay there's the the non-compassionate you know the lacking compassion so you jump to judgment so we've got to delay the judgment delay the judgment i think it's interesting that paul and roman says mercy triumphs over judgment that's cool so i want to work with a higher precept it's easy to judge it's easy to judge someone they're going through a financial time because of them and just hit them with the hammer of judgment you know they're going through this because it's harder work to do grace and mercy isn't it because you got to think about your own life you got to think about how you process your own thoughts right performance is a killer but it's easy to just jump to that so with your thoughts you're feeling something anger anxiety obsessiveness guilt it's your first response needs to be compassion and for ocd people you're going in order to even start this you have to delay whatever your compulsion is your compulsion is what you do to try to relieve your discomfort or neutralize the obsession and your compulsion may be something you do to try to edit correct fix back or something that you do hula hoops in your head or researching or the arguments or all that nope the first step is compassion i must shine the light of gracious compassion you learn to connect to love and nurture in the midst of this thought being there in my book the heart healing journey i have three chapters that in many ways have saved my sanity in certain areas of my life and i pray they do as well for you right chalk in the middle of it are three chapters that i utilize to encourage people i've been recommending this to a lot of people in their life and in their journey because if you go i need to learn how to engage compassionate grace this is where i would recommend you go in fact let me get let me get my hands here it's in sometimes people think i just know off the top of my head what chapters or what i i chapters 13 chapters 14 chapters 15. of course you can keep on going and but those are very very important when it comes to got one here got one there got some down over there they're they're very crucial chapters and how to process your emotional life in a way that's that's effective it's not first fix it it's not first where did this come from it's not first like is this because of my is this is this is this in my feeling is this generational in i am i am i being attacked by the enemy is we we go to diagnosis first i i say the word diagnosis a lot we could use a lot of terms we could say discernment we go to discernment i think it's this and it's like um without love your your tracker is going to get messed up so what does love say in in a moment it's okay that you're not okay because you're having this thought and emotion does not make love disappear ah this is what we've subliminally trained people and is that when you struggle love's not here i i get a lot of people who struggle with i mention ocd a lot because a lot of people find a lot of grace and and help in my resources in that so um forgive me if that's nowhere near your your orbit of battle but i think there's a lot we could learn from the ocd battle whether you whether you have it or whether whether you don't we all i feel like we all have you know those kind of tendencies and so what they will say is they'll say well you know i was doing good for a while i was doing good for a while and then now i'm struggling or i was doing good in this area now ocd's over here in this area and what they're expressing to me because i i've learned this enough in interpretation what they're expressing to me is i feel good and loved when i'm doing good and that's how i feel loved and i'm telling you you will have to learn what it means to be loved when you're not doing good jesus even said it's easy to love people who do good to you he says i look i tell you love those who you know who hate you and that and that he kicks it up a notch well and how you see yourself it's easy to love to be loving towards yourself when everything's going great but what about when there's struggles going on that's when grace when sin abounds grace even more about that's where it's time to really understand what the loving grace of god really means so that you can practice what i call total unconditional loving acceptance t-u-l-a tula you need some tula in your life total unconditional loving acceptance i 100 totally and unconditionally lovingly except myself right where i'm at right now what i need is loving compassion okay so i spent a lot of time on that because it's no point moving forward without that but in the atmosphere of that kindness and love number two number one is compassionate witness number two it's a very simple thing what is it that you are actually feeling and so it's it's it's i'm not telling you to do this with every little wind and wave of thought that floats through but when you see a pattern going on you feel yourself man i've been anxious for a while okay what's the anxiety about what's it pointing to what's the theme i'm just angry okay what are you angry about what's the anger saying what's the anger saying about you what's it saying about the world what beliefs are coming out because when you when you when you say it like name the emotion what's it saying what's this emotion saying there's usually some themes and then your beliefs start coming to the surface the beliefs that you attach now well god doesn't really help me he's not interested in me or i just can't get it together ah okay so these are your interpretations uh where where where i'm helpful for people like in one on one is is firing their interpreter because the majority of people that are going i need help they recognize their need for help they recognize the problem is not the problem the problem is how they interpret things and the worst things are it's the harsher the interpreter is if you have a harsh interpreter that beats you up the whole way through that's going to be probably one of the main reasons why the struggle is as bad as this mark i'm losing my mind i have these thoughts i have these battles i'm losing it interpretation that's how you interpret it how dare you even have that emotion and it means this and usually they put the pedal to the metal and it's like all the way down to how terrible of a just a disgusting sinful person that you are so they get lost loving kindness and graciousness of god in his mercy and his compassion you allow yourself to in love because what will happen is at first you feel like your emotions might be just whipping you every time and you feel like you're just all over the place it's okay because the healing process god is developing a healing process in you where you're going to be a tree a tree of righteousness and strong trees know how to handle storms well we first moved down here in our backyard we got a bunch of trees and there was in a couple storms what was it like two trees that fell and kind of made me a little like whoa wow thank god that tree didn't fall in my house i would have been serious a big tree that fell but then i look so then i looked around in certain different storms i'd look and i'd look at a tree and it was like belly dancing you know and you're like whoa that thing's i think well i i think that that thing's going to come down and it wasn't it was it was going through it was just flexing back and forth but there ain't no way it was coming down at least with this level of storm i remember there was trees that i we had taken down and i was like wow that tree looks really weak it looks like it can't handle but then we actually took the tree down and saw how thick and how deep the root system went i was like oh wow i was deceived because it was just it was just swaying in a way that made me think oh no it's it's roots are strong so sometimes we think i'm losing my mind and god's going nah your roots are getting deeper you're getting stronger but i'm all over the place you know interpretation interpretation many people's if you're saying i'm losing my mind somewhere interpretation's really gone off track i am a hot mess and i'm i'm at a dead end and i'm i'm at my wit's end we say things like that right what's that it's just a cry if we're hitting a limit we we need nurture we need love we but love gives us interpretation faith hope and love this is what remains so if everything falls apart what we need that will stay is faith hope and love the greatest being love so if you have faith but love isn't surrounding it big deal big deal but no big deal if your hope is not rooted in the love of god it'll go up and down sway back and forth you'll put your hope in little shallow circumstances and things will disappoint you and and and all these things hope is an anchor to the soul and god wants our anchor to be built on the love that he has for us he'll be faithful that's why you've got to tune into the compassionate witness so that you learn to be that tree of righteousness the storm comes and maybe a branch falls off are you like you know what that branch was hindering me anyways remember when jesus said you know things get clipped that's part of the journey things get clipped they're unnecessary for the further growth of what's happening in your life in your journey right so so so the second thing is identify what exactly is what you're feeling number three is don't react in panic don't panic don't react quickly and harshly we have to slow down our reaction now because people say i'm going through depression and they panic for having depression and then they're condemning themselves beating themselves up be still know that he's god learn to be still learn to practice being still folks can't just say it this way and i include myself in this we're we're generations of people that become very neurotic and and i say that with all kindness love and grace it's we have neurotic meaning we're highly sensitive to thoughts that come our way we're highly sensitive to the negative interpretation of those thoughts and we're very easily drawn towards the negative perspective of things we overreact we over respond we're hypersensitive we hyper-reactive to things and god is the call over our generations in this day is learning to nurture us and stabilize us in the midst we don't have to react you might be feeling something you don't over react to it many times you do this you can just let the emotion pass on through and if you if you have ocd issues you have to learn to become a professional at letting thoughts pass on through without your negative interpretation your disempowering interpretation over or your your overreaction to those thoughts so you notice it you notice the thought i'm angry you notice it and you become a observer you just notice it it's not hypervigilance it's not chasing it down it's not spinning for three hours in the closet you just notice hey i've been more angry lately i noticed that that's something to be aware of now that's maturity not immaturity is oh my god i gotta do this with this anger i don't know what am i gonna do right we go into this hyperfix mode i gotta do me i gotta repent i gotta repent now i gotta repent i gotta take it now it's the day of salvation doesn't the bible say that i gotta do it don't panic we gotta learn to not panic over the panic you're having because maybe it's panic you're feeling and maybe you need to pause like okay i'm going through some stuff i'm i'm probably not aware of it a lot of panic and anxieties you're going through stuff you're not aware of you're not connected to and there's discovery so the noticing you want to be more of a noticer versus an obsessor delay that judgment compassionate witness you notice it okay so i'm gonna take a step further number four you notice the emotion but you don't feed it or add fuel to it don't make it worse than it is so you're depressed you're feeling depressed it doesn't mean you're going to be depressed for the rest of your life and it's because of your sin you got here and it's because of of all the and you just start stacking the deck and you start just dominoing it catastrophizing it right and usually how we add to it you're going through something don't make it worse than it is because if you make it worse than it is you will not see what you're going through for what you need to see i'm going to recommend if this helps you in any way listen to this a bunch of times go through it take notes practice it how many times do you have a thought that you struggle with and then you add to it with a distorted meaning maybe it's an intrusive thought maybe it's uh one of those emotions and you quickly diagnose it whisk it away and really it's like i need a new interpretation maybe you're overreacting to the meaning oh this means i'm this no it may not mean that at all i'm just gonna be more compassionate about this and over time over and over again uh through somebody who might be a good sounding board i could process and see you know what is this something i might need to deal with further so your disempowering responses will add what just add fuel to the flame of the disempowerment you judge it you spiral over it you overreact you shame it you ruminate you argue you spin so so number four is you notice the emotion you don't feed or add fuel to it number five is you patiently allow yourself to discover what you're really dealing with the phrase is the problem is not the problem so many people with anxiety realize wow i have anxiety over a lot of issues i have a general anxiousness in life and they start to learn wow i don't know what it means to feel safe in my own skin i have a problem not with it's not just an anxiety problem it's a love problem i don't know how to connect to the safety if i'm okay in my own skin so therefore anxiety takes over you start to see anger is just a symptom the problem's not the problem it's not anger management you need deeper heart issues is there things you haven't grieved is there perfectionism in your life are you under constant pressure do you put weight on you do you have a self battle where it's you against you all day long and you're under this combustion of perfectionism and all this this this heavy heavy yoke that you're under of course you're going to be angry is is is the is there a self hate going on that's fueling this depression that you're feeling do you find addictions are rising to the surface where you just feel like your cravings you have an inordinate affection towards certain things or you have a certain addiction patterns that are manifesting in a lot of areas that is a massive lack of love in your life you're crying for love to heal emptiness or pain and there's no unworthiness that's there it doesn't allow you to receive love when it and it does arrive right that's that's deeper those are just some examples married couples in in most of your arguments your argument is not about the real problem the argument is a symptom of things that you need to discover about yourself about your history together and about unhealed past wounds that you're bringing to the surface i say this all the time do you notice in marriage those of you are married do you notice there's many things your spouse does that are annoying that don't bother you but that those one two three areas get on your last nerve and why is that often there are things in your life in your history that these things bring out and god goes i want the two of you to learn to heal the problem is not the problem the problem may be do you spend having quality time together are there unresolved things in the past that haven't been forgiven are there things are are you both carrying a lot of stress and moving into roommate syndrome and you're not you're not being encouraging to one another have you left a first love kind of living where you're you just have that relationship drift right so the point here is patiently allow yourself to discover what is it you're really dealing with the problem is not the problem and so as you start to learn you gotta feel it effectively many times when we're dealing with negative emotions we're led to tears and when the tears come you've got to let tears is one of god's given way for us to proc process through painful emotions and many people say well i haven't cried i can't remember the last time i cried that's a sign at the time some people say i'm crying too much i'm crying all the time don't judge it let yourself do it express the emotion but out of compassion towards yourself right now i want to say a word to perfectionists out there because i relate to this and it's helped me a lot there's a couple notes for perfectionism and feeling your emotions effectively for perfectionists many times they're good at expressing and saying in words what they're feeling this is what i'm feeling but they they describe them they don't actually feel them if you don't know what i'm talking about don't worry about it because many times perfectionist kind of people they can describe or articulate an emotion but they're emotionally detached from actually feeling it actually feeling the pain of what they need to feel perfection is you have to give yourself permission to express emotions without it being perfect that's that vulnerability it got so much shame it doesn't allow you you have to learn to have practice moments where you're just working out your emotional world and you don't do it exactly right and it's okay because you're learning in the doing now when we're letting ourselves feel what we're feeling maybe you need to just grieve that loss you grieve that pain or just feel the pain of it and we we come to a place where we go god here it is and we give it to him and he starts to show us deeper layers because we go god i feel like i feel like everyone leaves me hanging and he shows you this has been following you your whole life as a kid you didn't feel like like people were there for you and it's like okay god i want to give that to you and cry through that i want to work through that this is what i find when i work through the difficult emotions i can i can now have some healthy reality checks with myself right like you're going through a hard time in a hard season maybe you lost your job and you're just grieving it because you love that job and you worked at it for 30 years you let yourself feel the pain of it when you when you allow yourself to work through it and and and not that it's going to take just one session in one moment and you're going to be fine it takes a series of it but then you have these reality checks like okay all right i lost my job it's okay this is where i am now now what so now you are fully you're more fully connected to reality and i think to be quite honest we're just we're we are voiding we avoid reality so it messes with our view you need to go okay i'm going through depression okay that's where i'm at right now it's not permanent something i'm going through doesn't mean it has to be for us in my life but whatever that's what i'm going through or you see i i got some ocd issues okay uh i'm having trouble with my my child i'm having trouble with my marriage okay now you can accept reality so you can face it we're always like denying reality avoiding reality and we're so hard on ourselves we can't face what we need to face because judgment is in the way and it's just it's clouding everything so we can't see the simplicity and what it leads you to and if you're a notetaker number five i said patiently allow yourself to discover what you're dealing with number six feel it effectively number seven you come to reality checks but in an empowering way that's where i'm at right now okay and if you need to rewind go back you can follow that okay these are just kind of talking points to walk you through this which leads me to number eight now i close with this i get a reality check this is where i'm at and in love it leads me to more of a okay now what what's what's the step right in front of me it's not where how do i fix this whole thing what's my life going to be like 10 i got to have a 20 year plan nope compassionate love and grace god's just saying just take the next step maybe the next step is okay i've got to i have you know i'm going to spend time with my kids or i'm you know what i've got this one thing i need to do i keep avoiding it i just need to do it now i gotta go you know i gotta do that doctor's visit i gotta take that next step i'm gonna go get some counseling i'm going to ask for help i'm gonna read that book i keep putting off i'm going to take that next step now the next step takes into consideration through compassion where you're at so if you're in the hospital and you broke your feet your femur it's that big bone right here right you know it would be ridiculous for you to be mad the next day that you can't um or or an expectation you should go out for a run it's okay if you're feeling disappointed about that because the reality of breaking your femur sets in it's going to take a while for that to heal right now if you broke your finger i wouldn't come in and go hey man come on let's go for a run no so this is why number one is is so important and it always remains through each part of our emotions your expectations must be rooted in love and love love understands where you're at but empowers you for one step love takes into consideration where you're at but empowers you for that one step now that frustrates a lot of people it's like no and i've had to practice this over and over and over again in my life whether it's mental emotional battles unexpected trials um going through seasons of physical illness pain family stuff compassion compassion compassion compassion okay this is where i'm at god you're with me now what you start to get more clear on what you need and they become very simple things you know what i just need to right now i need to take a nap i need to you know i just need to get through this work day some people say to me i'm just all i'm doing is just trying to get through the day that's that's quite all right that's quite all right so where do you find is highlighting some things in your life and in your journey it's more long-form discussion but it's a resource i want to provide for you to encourage you i want to encourage you on how to actually work through your emotion so i pray this is a blessing to your life in your journey so and just i'm going to take a minute and look over some of the comments in the in the live here i'm not sure my parents were well equipped in order to equip me well in turn yeah that's across the board the the generations before i'm technically in what's called generation x then there's generation y which is called the millennial generation then there's my kids which is the generation z and there's before me you have the baby boomers the generations leading up to generation x they had a many many series of severe severe neglect severe neglect so um emotional neglect a lot of trauma it went through the depression went through wars went through you know even famine stuff like that so in that it was like survival and a lot of times emotional neglect i mean a lot of emotional neglect and that neglect left generations empty and then there they were just traumatized i feel like a lot of times looking at people in past generations they're full of trauma parents that died suddenly um abandonment loss neglect just on their own you know 15 years of age and trying to act like 25 year olds having to survive so anyways yeah so it puts that into consideration mark when i feel depressed and try so hard to pick myself up i feel like something is missing the depression self-pity darkness and it feels wrong to be happy or present why is that yeah when you're when you're not when you're not emotionally equipped then feeling joyful feeling happy there's that guilt that nope it's too much too much too much you know what you too much don't get you're gonna get we don't want to encourage you too much you're gonna your head's gonna get too big you know you're having too much fun you're getting a little too out of control so that shows how much guilt has had an effect on my life i feel like i have to solve the emotion so i get obsessed in it yep it's one of the chronic things about ocd is ocd people have trouble actually they actually don't work through any of their real emotions they're getting lost in a like virtual reality of something else they think and they've been pulled into they think they never actually get to what it is they're really feeling like emotional pain emptiness heartache it's like no no it's not that it's this thought i've got to fix and so i i think a lot of people can relate to that though in many areas of their life anger can also tough to be deal with yes embarrassment is still for me difficult yeah it's that shame thing uh this is so good struggling with ocd related to faith used to be ocd towards health but since coming back to jesus that went away because i'm not scared to die anymore so of course it attacks my faith now yeah it's it's like whack-a-mole you know pops up pops up pops up so it just means keep allowing yourself to get to the deeper issue of compassionate grace practicing compassionate grace over everything in your life plus the more compassionate and grace you are towards yourself it gets reflected in your relationships it just does it makes me a much more patient person much more gracious person fear yeah hope you're all having a great time blessings to you hope you're enjoying mark's content awesome prolonged anxiety causes depression because i get so exhausted just stop caring turn it off yeah so if that that prolonged anxiety there's probably some new discovery in the anxiety and that's where effective counseling can help because they'll just listen ask some good questions get you to to discover what what seems to be going on around my world of anxiety but i gotta gotta let compassion be there i've dealt with ocd for 20 years have recently had two consecutive miscarriages i'm sorry the anxiety ocd compulsions and the emotions are out of control stress flares up ocd yeah yeah for sure for sure and so um i i i there's so many people going through miscarriage kind of stuff it's very very painful very very painful and it is i've seen it many times where out of that painful it's it's traumatic in many ways can come out issues of anxiety depress like why am i depressed i don't know why am i so ocd well hello this is painful that you went through you know and often we don't know how to process it embarrassment is difficult it challenges the idea that i need to be perfect or seem at least yeah high five i get you yep i'll relate to that binge eating is a big problem yeah that's there's a there's an emotional need for love there for sure nurture comfort that's that's where a lot of the food issues are rooted in nurture your mouth it's a place of nurture right as a baby you got the bottle suck your finger thumb you know feeding that mouth so whether it's cigarettes food drink whatever it is we're looking for nurture to to fulfill us what we lack it so much is there any biblical justification for having an atmosphere of shame-facedness shame shameface faceness shame fast faces i don't know what i don't know what that word means i'm a i've been around peop some people who seem to equate feeling shame with holiness [Laughter] run away run away yeah they love that shame shame shame cause we're so holy shame shame shame cause we don't have any sin but you do shame shame shame we're modern day pharisees shame shame shame jesus would be like flipping the tables [Laughter] anxiety paranoia and depression is so draining tell me about it tell me about it but i know that god will be there to guide me yeah if you have anxiety battles you got to be patient with yourself you got to be patient more than you ever think you'll need to be but it's the best way to approach it what were the questions you have to have to go back go to the beginning i set a foundation which led into then some application great teaching share share share with everyone i go to sleep listening to youtube see as i'm saying so i'm trying to work on the instant yelling so that i don't scare you all if you're if you're resting i should be more peaceful hello welcome to this broadcast i'm going to be talking to you about your emotions mark dejesus here doing a live broadcast we don't have the same compassion for ourselves as others agreed we been trained be nice be kind be patient right we've kind of been trained in like a performance and be good for others than when we're with ourselves we're like yeah the thing it feels wrong to think well of myself i get you let me pose it to you this way instead of framing it i'm thinking well of myself let's put a new word here i want to think kind towards myself i want to think kindness towards myself try just maybe switching the word because maybe that can open up a new pathway yes it's harder to give grace and mercy that's why a lot of people default to automatic judgment instead of being compassionate why the person is suffering that's why people are starving for love so it's so true i learned this in pastoring people in the church would judge other people and they would come to me and say hey this person over here needs this you should probably talk to them now i knew that person other person's story what they've been through and i took the compassionate journey with them and my heart now carries knowing what they've been through and now they're goofy ways or mannerisms or stuff that this person over here is quick to judge i understand i go man if i had that history of my life too i'd probably be in the same situation ah compassion now we're starting to see each other through the lens of how god works with us and his patience i know that when jesus comes and gets us it will be the happiest moment of our lives but my brain likes to twist it and tell me how ashamed and scared i'll be because i didn't do enough here for him yeah that performance achievement your basis of being loved is probably based on you doing enough and doing it right and it's a never-ending hamster wheel so that that of course forms that influences that is there a difference in feeling bad and telling yourself you just should get in the word more and assuming that i'm feeling that way because i'm not reading the bible enough um i don't think the problem is ever you don't read the bible enough it's it's not about how much of it you're reading it's like how much of it is actually being ingested because i could read one verse and spend a year just reflecting on what that verse means and not read another verse in the bible and that throws a lot of people off because like no you gotta now revelation is hard stuff and it takes time it takes time there are certain passages i'm just parked in i'm like yeah i might read in other places and but where that real deeper thing comes from so i think here's what i recommend to you is the one who said about reading the word enough why don't you just pause delay that as an assessment just just for a little while maybe it's not that at all maybe it's not you need to read the word more maybe it's that you need to understand his love more so you can take in the word in a better way i can take in the word of god in such a more fruitful way in my life whereas 20 years ago i look back and go no wonder i struggled to read the word it was like i just was i was getting hit with bricks on my head all day long i i couldn't understand the heart of what god was saying hope this makes sense you know so it's it's not so much like ever like read the word enough i i would throw that kind of assessment out the window because that's just performance evaluation it's not i know people that read the word more than anyone else on the planet they show zero fruit of the spirit people that write to me that have all these like correct way of saying things they show zero fruit of the spirit zero love zero graciousness kindness you know it's like that's a problem right so i look at that and i go i want more than anything else i want to demonstrate the fruit of the spirit that takes practice acting and living it letting it have its work in my life relationally how am i approaching things letting god teach me and so um i talk a lot about mental health and the bible you can check that stuff out for sure go look at those episodes does that make sense i hope it makes sense serena does that make sense what i'm saying is it's okay if it doesn't okay i'm trying to catch up that's interesting you said in your brain to me that means you know in your spirit he loves you but these thoughts are telling you fear yeah perfect love casts out fear so that's that's going to be really important it's rare to find a channel that depicts the love of christ mental health and stability while also giving a balanced idea that we shouldn't sin either right yeah i hear you i hear you yeah yep i i can understand you saying that but it also makes me happy that you could feel you can sense the groundedness of that but shouldn't but also shouldn't always make it a psycho ocd cycle that can cause us to stumble and blame ourselves even more i feel worthless when i don't feel i measure up to absolute perfection right so that would tell me that one statement right there i feel worthless when i don't feel i measure up to absolute absolute perfection that one sentence contaminates everything you have to recognize that that distortion contaminates everything um jesus talked about the leaven the leavens we have to work watch out for the leaven of herod the leaven of the pharisees he's basically talking about the religious spirit and the political spirit that that's a whole talk in itself but he talks about levin a little eleven will leaven the whole lump so it's like when you let in a little bit of that perfectionism because perfectionism from a scriptural standpoint is law-based performance performance and law-based living that's infiltrated and we'll say no i'm not following the law i'm under grace but look at your life it's all performance it's all how i measure up it's just rebranded repackaged right so a little bit of that perfectionism it's not gonna it's not gonna it's not gonna allow just a little bit it's gonna keep growing keep growing it keep growing so it'll make you never feel good enough or whatever so i say just drop the whole thing about being good enough and just be loved as you are right now and god is gonna tie you into relationship and then lead you in in a journey that's a revelation to love ourselves the way god sees us to love our neighbors like yourself means you have to live yourself love your i'm assuming you mean love yourself even when you're not perfect right right got gastro problems for five months anxiety fear panic attack these videos help me thank you awesome awesome i pray that as you work through the anxiety that healing will come to the gastro issues not that that's the only reason there's a lot of reasons why we can have those kind of battles i feel i often feel like i can't move on because i doubt my salvation so much and feel like if i wasn't so afraid of the feelings from them these thoughts then i could do a lot more so i'm gonna recommend my ocd stuff so it's um yeah it's that feeling of like you know you're on a soccer team you're out on the field but you're still checking to make sure your uniform says that you're on the team am i really on the team meanwhile somebody's passing you the ball and you're like i don't know i'm checking my checking my uniform right that's where that's for the ocd religious ocd am i saved am i not saved checking checking checking and it's like um that's that's that's not how the freedom is found move forward move forward now with that with that feeling there it's going to take time for that feeling to die out because you've given it so much attention emotions that like that have been around for a while they've created you know roots not roots or ruts that we that we fall into and takes time for those to be renewed and renewing is by decision i decide today i'm a believer and i'm moving forward as though that is true because salvation is a decision and feelings can they're like the ocean so that's why ocd people don't want to live in the ocean so they try to create a controlled fishing tank in the middle of the ocean and they get so frustrated because their fishing tank it just keeps getting wrecked and messed up right belly dancing oh the trees right the the trees you know we need a message board yeah the branch that breaks could be things that don't give life but hinder you good idea we should start a group i'm not really on social i'm not really on social media i know groups that talk about my stuff you know feel free um right now i'm very focused on where i'm giving my resources and my help and avenues like this letting thoughts pass through so hard especially when it's deep sadness in yourself yeah so if you feel that deep sadness like look at it compassionately there it is it's like you don't have to put a microscope to it just notice it what's the sadness about what are you sad about that you haven't let yourself be sad about you know what what what does sadness mean for you does it mean you're weak a lot of people they're sad and they show the sadness means they're weak ah doesn't mean you're weak means you're a human being i wish i could take my anger the energy put it on a place and throw it in the ocean now i don't hate on your anger i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you a scripture okay be angry uh be angry but don't sin you know the bible says and we jump to them but don't sin i gotta make sure i don't sin wait did you did you be angry no i'm just not gonna sin make sure i don't sin and you never actually felt the anger and worked through it i learned from you that compassion is really important no matter if it was my fault or not right that's one valuable life lesson on good i'm glad to hear that a fault is not a good thing it's not a good place for healing blaming anyways i lost my spot i'm gonna have to go in a minute but i'm gonna try to look through these if i don't get your question or read through it sometimes i just i scroll through and i lose my place might have to go to like hyper speed here in a minute where did where did i end up okay there we go i'm a mess emotionally with fear and confusion i need compassion more compassion yep there's the anger person that's with it that's it okay i'm back fighting against myself i tell i'm worthy i deserve love yet i end up feeling so arrogant ah right because to you love it it looks like it's arrogant that is a lot of unworthiness was pushed on you proper thinking slavery kind of thinking um orphan kind of thinking crying disgust me okay well there you go i hate to cry i feel stupid weak and embarrassed sounds like you need to cry it is also an unloving spirit i have found ways to be mad at myself but can give compassion to others i've been tormented by this i would recommend god loves me and love myself to to to a lot of the comments here that are going on me sitting here like i need to accept love i'll do it later at home when i'm in a better place and can do it properly there's that perfectionism well done high five good job that's it i know exactly what you feel like right no learn love when you're in the hot mess learn love when you're in that state that's troubling that's just struggle that's where his love is actually will be the most powerful taking the next step is so what i need to learn i'm trying to connect to the fact that god has faith in me and a love i can accomplish i have fear that i can't express all my emotions being on pills as they suppress but reducing them makes me very ill yeah understand medication does change um they do have an effect on our emotions for sure whether they're mental health medications or even just other pharmaceutical medications they can so take that into consideration you might be sitting there going oh my mood is all over the place well are you on a medication where that's a side effect see that's a compassionate witness because then it takes into consideration what you're going to i hate crying too let's all cry together there you go i can't feel kind of weird now though like i don't feel anything keep messing up how do you let go when you did something as simple as a ugg a lady you had weirdness with had a chance and then all you can think is find ways to make the moment happen again that's the fixing you're trying to fix it you're trying to edit it i did an ocd on the checking thing that fixing kind of thing that's a that's an ocd kind of response you interpreted it really harsh and we have weird interact we all have weird interactions you go to somebody say something stupid i would do that i replay the situation over and over again go back and try to fix it yep thank the lord i was enjoying songs that god led me to and i kept feeling like emotions trying to pull me back into guilt and shame because you think you need to think god wants you to i have ocd over relationships i'm always scared to open up my feelings i'm starting to develop feelings for a long time friend don't seem to know how to handle it yeah it sounds like maybe you just need a safe person to process with in a non-judgmental way i realized my perfectionism was ramping up again i'm trying to get back to love through your material what do you recommend i recommend heart healing journey i'd also recommend god loves me i love myself for ocd intrusive thoughts is it okay to just try to ignore them yeah in a way of where you de-escalate the the the importance of it that's part of um the word ignore i don't know if is much use that's i'm not trying to like finagle with words but it's more just it's not that important i don't have to nope i don't have to focus on that that shame song is a bop itunes hit i think i'm really afraid to allow myself to feel the emotions because i'm scared i can't handle it and will spiral to depression again yeah i get you but don't let that stop you from feeling just take it just take one step don't take 100 steps just one step one step at a time going through a very traumatic divorce spouse outed me all over social media yikes yeah that's rough all my friends and family it's insane how people do things on social media have no sense of consequences and bizarre i get you i do too i'm fully expecting to see transformed you at the top of my most listened podcast of the year i listen to it when sleeping excellent i'm struggling with the addiction of checking every word action thought for every possible sin how i feel like i lost the ability to know what is a sin is this normal it's ocd that's ocd i would go to my ocd help page that um talks a lot about that i know my issue is love but struggling with how it can also can i'm also struggling to connect to others makes me feel like a backslider or faithless um yeah just just come back just just enter into love god god is is bigger than than you having to do everything perfect my prefer my parents are performance driven christians i have to learn to accept that yep that's part of what i'm saying there too is you you connect with reality in love this is where i'm at this is who i live with this is what's going on okay i see it for what it is not worse than what it is okay now what you know i feel like men are suffering all over the world in silence yes for sure how do we invite men to deal with their issues in a godly healthy way just great great avenues where they're safe invitations one step at a time but you're you're very right i found that starving those obsessive fleshly desires is so helpful but it takes purposeful work and wanting to heal i've been struggling with pride in my ocd a lot and i don't know how to get out of these ruts because i feel powerless a lot of ocd stuff go go um go through my ocd material and when you went through it and said yes mark i went through it go through it again and then when you said mark i went through it a second time i want you to go through it again and when you say mark i already went through it again i want you to go through it again because the material that i'm putting out is years and years of years of marination they're not like listen to it pass through you'll get a couple thoughts that's it listen to it again you'll get a couple other ones uh you know just just helping you understand ocd ocd ocd the ocean analogy is acura is accurate accurate ask god to please send me some peace and you came on live so i thank you awesome high five consider me a brother from another mother but we got the same father snap channel is so helpful good good i'm glad most of all i want you to feel gracious compassion i want you to that's more than anything else and the bible says the truth sets us free so the truth needs to be spoken in love so my desire is to do my best to be compassionate and gracious i also struggle with the cycle i mess up in sin oh that means i'm not saved because no one who belongs to god keeps on sinning that's the distorted interpretation i'm talking about and there's a lot of teachings so you teach that if you're not saved you never sin never have sin and that's just very very distorted so it's an easy equation though so if you have problems or you have sins going on it means you're not really saved it's a nice manipulative feedback loop i'll tell you it's a great way to manipulate people you want to manipulate people in your church just develop that kind of mindset because it's like oh you're just not born again and then i'll have to deal with you ah it's so true i don't have to deal with any of your problems because you just ain't born again you guys go get born again you're not really saved enough and then we're like okay now i'm really saved now i'm really wait stop you know what now i'm really saved nope salvation's a decision you made the decision now move forward and it's going to take time for the emotions to catch up and it's going to take time for your distortions to heal and you're going to relearn what love is oh you deleted you retracted your comments did you say something mean um all right i'm gonna go down to the end and then work my way backwards i'm struggling with the mindset achievements i shouldn't share it to anyone because i feel that i'm being selfish or prideful you need you your journey is is learning to be okay with expressing imperfection expressing stuff that's you know not perfect haven't revealed my struggles with anyone close yet i wonder whether i will have to one day oh it's not about have to it's about you were made to we're made to share with one another you've got to find some safe avenues to do that and i've said this to people before you may need to pay someone for a while you're like i don't have anyone to share with well go find someone pay them that you know a professional or whatever that's fine that's not a that's not a tragedy many of you were locked up in your homes for the past year you know isolation has been very challenging very difficult for many it's got disappointed in me i'm going to answer your question before i even get to the rest of it no it's god disappointed me that i'm the only believer in my family and they continue to live by the flesh in sin and they don't listen to me so i need to step away from them well you need to i don't know what you mean by your family but you need to let go of having to police them or holy spirit them let me let let it be i don't know if you're talking about your husband or you're talking about separating context you do live with your parents or so doesn't god want us to be focused on perfection who cares if we have hurt feelings just be holy and be worried about holiness really what else is there this is my background sadly yeah that's rough because all that does is put the weight on you to try to be holy and the holy testament shreds that mindset but yet we still fall into it nonetheless god is faithful i'm still praying and working through the distortion i've had on fasting but it's a work in progress did you take the year off from fasting i think it was you that i told take a year off from fasting take a year are you sure yes take a year off from fasting mark you and your videos are a blessing over and over i'm learning to grow through my obsessive thoughts awesome little victories little little see that a little tiny victory celebrate that gotta learn to acknowledge little steps it's been months of putting your advice to the test awesome that's great and after years of reading the bible out of condemnation i can now say i'm reading from a love perspective that my friends deserves a hand clap so anyways guys i gave you the feedback best feedback i could to some of the comments here let love let patience have its perfect work in your life and uh i pray that this will be a valuable resource to your life and your journey i try to take some time to work through it answer your questions please consider a one-time donation or join in partnership with us gives me gives us the ability to do more and thank you so much for that and try to take time to be a blessing to your life to your journey go to mark dejesus.com take advantage of the books the training course the materials and share with those who are ready to experience greater healing and freedom in their own lives so i look forward to seeing you all in the next broadcast lord willin and the creek don't rise good stuff see y'all [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Mark DeJesus

Views: 2,363

Rating: 4.9705882 out of 5

Keywords: Emotions, Emotional Health, Thoughts

Id: jQEbOSnriNY

Length: 92min 18sec (5538 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 27 2021