Lawyers Share Their "Oh Snap" Moments In Court

lawyers of reddit what was your at moment in court a lawyer i used to know was in court on a work injury case the judge asked his client just what is the nature of your injury his client replied i can't raise my arm this high anymore while she raised her arm up to show just how high she couldn't raise it i was prosecuting a contempt action in family court something that basically never works and everyone in the room could tell i was winning the other side was unprepared out of arrogance and i was basically ripping this guy to shreds on cross-examination which his lawyer didn't even think would happen because he expected the case to be dismissed at the end of the trial the judge ruled for me and stated that she found the defendant's testimony to be untrustworthy i was shocked at winning a contempt trial to begin with but then this exchange happened defendant's attorney your honor now that you have found my client's testimony to be untrustworthy i am requesting a continuance in order to prepare further witnesses this concept is shocking in and of itself because to even think you can bring more witnesses after you rest your case is laughable judge you had your shot and you missed counsel defendant's attorney your honor there was no way i could have anticipated that you'd find my client's testimony untrustworthy and as such i didn't have the opportunity to prepare other witnesses in support of his position judge that may be an argument for your carrier council but it holds no water with me see you this afternoon for sentencing for those who didn't pick up on it the judge basically told the lawyer on the record in front of his client that she expects him to get sued for malpractice because he ducked up so royally that it was mingling on multiple levels i was the defendant representing a non-profit that i volunteered for the plaintiff was a 60-something grandma who was looking for a retirement settlement after falling out of her jacked up pick-up truck in our parking lot the premise of her case was that our parking lot was in bad shape it was and that she fell into a pothole and broke her leg which resulted in her having to take chemo in and diminished her enjoyment of salads at the friday night fish fry no really it was going along fine until my lawyer put up a photo of the pothole taken the day of the incident filled to the brim with water after a recent rain he asked the lady if she had gotten her foot wet to which she replied that she couldn't recall he talked a little more about how perhaps if her foot wasn't wet it might have been because she fell out of the truck and didn't really fall into the pothole he asked again if her foot was wet and she affirmed that yes her foot was wet the o at moment came when he went back to his desk flipped through her deposition and read the part where she was extremely adamant that her foot wasn't wet then he did some fancy legal stuff the case was thrown out and i went back to work i was the dumbest that almost screwed myself i had two charges in two different courts i accepted the first plea which almost always carries probation but my plea didn't have that condition when it came time to accept the second glee the prosecutor didn't include probation because she assumed my first charge put me on probation she said as much to the judge and me being a big dummy almost corrected her my lawyer grabbed my shoulder and ate you not told me to shut the duck up she doesn't know reposting myself from years ago story from a friend of mine he was defending a guy in court don't remember what he was charged with the main witness for prosecution was on the stand and was asked if she could identify the defendant she was scanning the courtroom and seemed confused my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him he could probably get all charge dropped as he was mentally adding this case to the win file he happened to glance over at his client who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him even the judge fassa palmed on that one never ask a question to which you don't know the answer prosecutor suggested to me client that the canned goods he had burgled were to be used to trade for drugs me thinking the idea ludicrous asked my client whether he has ever traded food for drugs to which he replied that he once exchanged a frozen chicken for heroin needless to say i didn't win that one not oh it bad oh it i can't believe she said that first jury trial pretty serious charges i'm cross-examining the alleged victim and in answering my question she says oh yeah i lie all the time needless to say i won that trial i was just interning in court during law school but i'm a lawyer now fight in a club someone had broken someone else's jaw and had six friends with him that insisted he had been identified wrongly because he never have a beard and the victim said he had a beard they used a very specific phrasing to the tune of my friend doesn't have facial hair because he is a professional in the food industry and it would go against the regulations after three of the witnesses had repeated the same exact phrasing the judge stopped one to ask if he knew what a couple of the terms in that line meant and the witness couldn't explain it defense lawyer got busted for instructing the witnesses she'd also gotten the defendant to reject a plea deal that exchanged prison time for a fine and community service sitting in court doing some plea paperwork for with the defense attorney for a go home plea agreement where person is released from custody and doesn't have to do jail time we hear this k s s s t t shuru to our left and we look to see his guy sitting in the galley all by himself sitting in the cloud of the biggest vape hit i have ever seen then has the audacity to tell the judge it went off in his hand do not pass go do not go free that day i was at a hearing arguing that my client was wrongfully terminated because the employer failed to abide by the proper procedures during the hearing a witness for the employer tried to offer documents that were fraudulently altered in order to make it look like the proper procedure was followed i noticed the alteration opposing counsel quickly got that witness out of the room and after a quick adjustment my client got a large settlement not exactly in court but i was defending a juvenile robbery case where there was very little evidence there was supposed to be two guys but they only picked up this one kid he had no stolen property on him he was picked up like outside his own house wearing different clothes than the victim had initially said this kid was on the honor roll at school his family seemed kind and were involved he wrote poetry and played instruments i actually believed it was a legit mistaken identity case i went to meet with one of the kids mentors for a character reference and he exactly matched the description of the other robber the person i was representing was on trial for assault and the third degree in dui in my state a3 means you've assaulted an aid worker or police officer and is a felony the allegations are that he was very verbally abusive to the officers and at one point kicked one in the face we're sitting at the defendant's table and the officer is testifying about the statements my guy made to him including some pretty horrific name calling out of nowhere my client screams you're a ducking liar duck you you son of a rich we lost the trial another time the judge asked a client whether anyone had coerced him into pleading guilty and he said yeah my attorney i abouted my pants but he laughed and said i'm joking no watching a hearing when the defendant said i mean i did stab her but it was a gentle stabbing opposing counsel was a nightmare everything late his work was extremely subpar and so forth accused me of lying multiple times when he had dropped the ball during another hearing in which he did another dumb move judge says i'm glad you are the last case on the call and all of the other attorneys have left the room so they aren't here to hear me say that you are a terrible attorney we were just sitting around because of delay of some sort over the course of about five minutes about eight heavily armored sheriff's deputies quietly shuffled into the room and everyone was told they need to sit real duck and still until told otherwise another three big boys lead in the defendant small italian american gentleman in shackles he was up on a few pretty boring fraud charges i'm guessing he had friends on the outside who wanted to speak to him also there was the guy who called the male judge mom he was funny now but i was on a jury once for a murder trial got selected and the trial started almost immediately man was on charge with murdering his neighbor they made their opening statements there was even a bloody note it wasn't terribly long but they clearly put a lot of effort into their strategies and were ready for battle first witness was called it was the son of the man on trial i forget the first question but it didn't matter he immediately broke down crying and invoked his fifth amendment right everyone freaks out judge and lawyers were like wtf jury had no clue what was going on but we were quickly ushered out immediately after that few minutes later it was explained to us what happened the judge declared a mistrial a prosecutor must have suspected that the father was taking the fall for the son who actually murdered the neighbor rather than risk losing there was a mistrial while they sorted out who to actually charge and try edit destiny outdoors provided a succinct explanation of the fifth amendment the fifth amendment to the u.s constitution provides that you cannot be forced to provide a testimony that could be used to prosecute you for a crime lawyer here i had a pre-trial conference at 9 00 am at a court about two hours away so i wake my ass up super early to drive a nitty weather to the conference i get there and we're waiting for the other in town attorney all the while i'm grumbling to myself about how i'm from out of town and i can still make it on time finally the court calls the other attorney's office and gets a receptionist who tells us through tears that other attorney passed away the night before needless to say i was just happy to still be alive and we rescheduled for a few months later i think this qualifies though it wasn't me that was the lawyer god called for jury duty was at the jury selection phase and they asked if anyone here thinks they should not blah blah defendant was in the room i raised my hand the defending lawyer looked at me like oh this ought to be good and asked me to explain i suggested i tell them in private he insisted i tell the courtroom i said okay i probably shouldn't be on this jury because i was on a previous jury for this man which returned a guilty verdict lawyer's face went to it commotion and await while they looked up records yep verified whole jury was now tainted everyone goes home and they start over not in court but a deposition plaintiff in a sexual harassment case that was suspected to be paid role play with her boss kept a very detailed six diary on her work computer at one point she was asked to read from the diary for the record and asked if she had written the accounts and if they were true she was asked at several points if she wanted her new husband to leave the room while she did this but declined let's just say it was extremely kinky she confirmed it was true and the only mention of her now husband was that he was boring in bed but she was going to marry him because she couldn't get her first second or third choice he ended up leaving on his own after she read that part out and confirmed it was him she was writing about i'm not an attorney but a reporter whose beat is the county courthouse so i've had plenty of these moments happen in front of me a guy was convicted of attempting to murder several police officers at his sentencing the prosecutor revealed the defendant got a prison tattoo while he was awaiting sentencing of a tombstone with the names of all the cops he attempted to kill but the defendant still had the audacity to beg for a lenient sentence he got a few hundred years in jail edit clarification in the third paragraph i'm not a lawyer but i was a character witness for my childhood dog in a civil trial between our neighbors and my parents opposing council was questioning me i wasn't even out of elementary school at the time and he asked if our dog was aggressive she was a rottweiler and very loving and incredibly protective of me and my siblings his final question to me is one i will never forget he asked did your father tell you what to say before you came into court today i responded yes then he asked what did he tell you to say i said the truth now i was too young to remember the courtroom reaction but according to my father the judge audibly guffawed in the opposing council lost all the wind out of his sails the besso at moments are when your opposing council or opposing client says or does something that wins the case for you true in civil cases you usually know what will happen ahead of time but in my state discovery in smaller civil cases is more limited and clients don't always want to spend 30k dollars when we can get the same result for 10k dollars in an adverse possession case the witness only needed to say i used that area as my backyard and i fully expected him to say this it would harm my case but i knew i could get around it when asked about his use of the area he said no i never really went back there didn't use it at all lost the case for the other side and i could barely keep a straight face it was completely opposite of what the witness had told opposing counsel off the record apparently the under penalty of perjury made him change his story i had another case about losing multi-unit dwelling insurance because a guy's place was a fire hazard i asked him if his personal insurer knew about the fire hazard yeah and the jerks cancelled my policy i also love it when i have a difficult party on the other side and the judge rips them a new one i had a convoluted case with a lot of parties about nothing at all the plaintiff was heinous the six or seven attorneys were working out calendars with the judge when the plaintiff starts yelling at her attorney from across the courtroom because she didn't like that he had conceded some little non-issue judge told her to sit down and shut up i was sad that the case settled because she would have been amazing on the stand i'm not a lawyer but a court case i was involved with went this way my ex mill was a crazy itch me and my wife at the time had cut her off almost completely everyone in a hole she would give in and let her mom visit which always turned out badly eventually we got divorced and i got full custody mill went nuts and decided to sue me for custody i looked over the law and for any form of visitation or custody you need to have had contact in the last six months and she hadn't seen them for over a year so we go to court i can't afford a lawyer but the law was pretty clear she goes through three lawyers each of them quit in turn so she finally wins up representing herself during the last hearing she was talking to the judge and said something to the effect of i don't want to get custody of them i just want to be able to visit the judge then asked her point blank this is a custody hearing are you telling me you no longer want to get custody she said yes and the judge dismissed the case immediately medical malpractice defense lawyer here representing hospitals doctors this was not my ow at moment but plaintiff so at moment for context usually at trial both plaintiff and defendant will have an expert physician testify as to their opinion to whether the doctor hospital performed everything correctly i thoroughly researched plaintiff's expert who was an object baby delivery and found out he had been suspended a number of times for his own botched deliveries and giving incorrect medical testimony to help plaintiff's cases during the actual day of trial turns out he was not licensed to practice medicine independently without supervision from another physician and he was one year into his three-year suspension plaintiff's lawyers had no idea about their own experts background and they just sat there with a blank look on their face needless to say during cross-examination he destroyed his credibility and won at trial not a lawyer but shared a no at moment with one i hit something in the road and had a tyre blow out while driving home from meps hit a concrete divider and wound up rolling my car no injuries and no other vehicles involved received a reckless driving ticket that the officer told me was just procedure and not to be concerned with fast forward a month and i'm in court with my lawyer who plans on pointing out this ticket could prevent my hardship enlistment he's not expecting it to take more than a minute because the issuing officer and prosecutor are on board q groupo at moment i'm fourth on the docket and the judge has just handed out maximum sentences for all three prior defendants people are getting six to twelve months having licence is revoked for little stuff prosecutor gets screamed at the instant he opens his mouth police officer is told to shut up while answering a question the judge asked my lawyer is told he's about to be held in contempt i'm starting to think i'm gonna get three squares and a cot just not where i planned on getting them the judge told me to step forward while shuffling my case paperwork and my lawyer just gave me a look that said i'm so sorry case dismissed in the interest of justice and if any more idiots waste his time with nonsense like this again everyone is spending the night in county not in the courtroom but just outside when right before my first jury trial the opposing counsel is walking up and down the hallway shaking hands with the sheriffs the court admin personnel a few judges and other lawyers i was an out of town lawyer did i mention this was my first jury trial who was hoping to just not get lost anyway i won semicolon i was involved in a pretty messy custody case the other party was a mess and had kept the child from my client for a few weeks op was playing lots of stupid games and kept requesting continuances i requested a drug test which the judge ordered however the op didn't show up for it to clarify he did show up he just stood in front of the toilet for literally two hours and claimed he couldn't pee i was representing the plaintiff so the burden was on me i called multiple witnesses that testified to the defendant's drug use so opposing counsel decides to call their client for direct examination and asks you don't use heroin and crack right that is for the non-lawyers a very stupid question for many reasons especially considering his client didn't show up for his drug test however i fully expected the defendants to just lie and say he was clean after the question was asked there was a really long pause and the defendant said yes i do both of those drugs my head almost exploded i didn't ask any questions on cross-examination because i didn't want to muddy the waters i won and the child is doing great not a lawyer wife is but she was just watching making his statement before the sentencing the defendant who molested a stepdaughter her friend and denise pulled a knife from god knows where and stabbed himself twice before getting wrestled to the ground how he got it through the metal detector no one knows he lived through that but died two months later in prison of natural causes not a lawyer but a defendant as a teenager i got busted with a couple of buddies throwing eggs at cars we were only actually in the courtroom for our sentencing there was no trial the judge called each of us up individually to ask us if we had anything to say one of my friends tells the judge that he is a good kid who doesn't normally do things like this lie we used to do it all the time and that i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time i wish there was a video of my other friend and i sitting in the benches watching this happen we simultaneously dropped our heads into our hands because we couldn't believe that idiot just said that the judge was not pleased and she took the opportunity to remind him that going to a store buying eggs going to another location across town and then throwing those eggs at cars was not just being in the wrong place at the wrong time not me but my former law partner she was in court representing a client i think in a hearing for a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband our client was telling the judge that when they met to exchange the children for visitation the ex had kicked her he immediately angrily shouted she can't prove it i didn't leave a mark thanks buddy not a lawyer but i got in enough trouble in my teens to know what a judge does doesn't like uncle's father decide they're going to conserve my grandmother and put her in a secured perimeter memory facility in reality they just wanted to piss away her 20 million dollars estate we end up in court with our lawyers one thing i know about most judges courtrooms they want to be revered like a church no talk back no talking out of turn wear a suit even if it's a 20 goodwill suit father uncles all show up all of them spend about an hour badmouthing me i'm keeping my mouth shut looking at my feet one of my uncles tries to examine me i just keep my mouth shut until the judge tells him he's not a lawyer and i'm not examination none of them are well-dressed sneakers dirty sweatpants my uncle who's the ringleader decides to start talking over his own lawyers my lawyer makes some comment the judge starts talking to her and my uncle's lawyer says something like now hold on ladies all they had to do was keep their mouth shut and not tell their lawyers how to do their job and they would have won they pretty much handed grandma and i the win during jury selection i can't be a juror due to the fact i'm kinda racist i'm not the lawyer but it's a classical tv moment in quebec the guy is old must be at least 90 he's being sued by his daughters who accuse him of sexual assault this is on live tv on one of quebec's biggest news network translation by you slash six data is better than mine more than i'm not guilty i've never slept with my daughters i never beat my daughters i never touched my daughters except for one time at the cabin i swear you can probably hear his lawyer faster coming hard here is a video in french left square bracket not in court but at a tribunal and also i was plaintiff suing for wrongful termination my rep so you terminated him because he was ill employer yes mr and he was ill because he is disabled employer yes nr so you fired someone for being disabled employer yes edit formatting and a word [Music] comma [Music] you

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Id: 3Ps0JYd365E

Length: 24min 3sec (1443 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 24 2020