- [Kyle] Oh, my God. I'm
alone in the universe. There's no God to save
me. I'm an empty vessel. I don't know anyone here! Hi, my name's Kyle Gordon, and this is the time I
did a bunch of Adderall, tried acid for the first time and accidentally became a bully. I had just moved to a Brooklyn and I was staying with
a few of my friends. I didn't have any money so they were letting
me crash on their couch and they let me sleep
in their basement. There was always a
half inch of water on the whole floor
in the basement 'cause there was like,
flooding, but I was having fun. I'm like whoo New York
City, I'm doing it! Hooray! I'm doing comedy. I took one improv
class. I'm a star. And then the upstairs people were these guys
in this punk band and they all had
a party together and I was like, wow,
Brooklyn lifestyle. I'm a cool guy in the city. At the time, I was taking
Adderall as a party drug. It just makes things that
aren't interesting, interesting. And so I took a good amount
of Adderall for this party. I met this one guy. I still have him in my
phone as Canada Joe, because his name is Joe
and he's from Canada. I literally talked to him
for an hour and a half about Canadian politics. Oh, so do you guys have
like a bicameral legislature or like, Stephen Harper,
man, he's bad news. And then there was
this other dude, very skinny, kind of
like bug eyed kid, silent, completely silent. It's like two in the morning
and I'm still like, going. And so someone was like,
hey, let's do acid. And I was like, you know
what? That's a very good idea. And I'd never done acid. He gave me one tab of acid and pretty much immediately
after I took it, I realized that I am
really fucking tired. But you know, I hadn't taken it, so I'm like, maybe this will
like, lull me into sleep and I'll just have funky dreams. No. 45 minutes later,
everyone's leaving. It's just like, three dudes
watching "Transformers", and I'm like, in
the room on the bed. (yells) when I took the
acid, I didn't go out. I didn't go forward.
I just went deep in. Deep in and it was not fun. I'm a very happy guy. I have fun every day. You know how I do that? I don't wanna deal with the
scary things in my head. I just wanna let them be. And so now I'm taking
this and I'm like, oh my God, I'm alone
in the universe. There's no God to save
me. I'm an empty vessel. I don't know anyone here. There was no visuals. There was no wobbly head. Flaming lips, pink
elephants, Pink Floyd. None of that. It was just a deafening
chorus of all my worst fears. Fuck. I just need
to get to sleep. And so I go down to the basement with the puddle of water
and I go into the bed. And I see that
skinny, scrawny kid curled up on the
bed with no blanket. I'm like, dude, you gotta go. This is my bed. I'm
sorry you gotta go. And he looks at me
like, horrified. And again, doesn't say anything. I'm like, dude, you gotta go. This is my bed. He like, walks away, and I'm just like laying in
this gray miserable couch. There's no way I'm
falling asleep. My parents live about an hour, hour and 15 minutes
north of the city. I'm going home. I'm going home! I take the train. I take Metro-North back
to my parents' house. They were outta town. I collapse in the driveway. Literally when I got home, I
was like, praise be to Hashem! He has guided me. And I went home,
there was no one home. Got into my parents' bed and
just curled up and watched TV. You know, maybe a few weeks
later, a few months later, I'm watching this documentary about these kids who were raised in this apartment
in New York City. And they were never allowed
to leave their apartment by their parents. They literally were
homeschooled, never
left the apartment. And they only learned about the outside world
by watching movies. Wow, this is fucked
up. This is crazy. Wait... I know that guy. One of the sons from
that documentary was that little skinny
kid on the couch. Oh my God. I am a very bad person. I bullied this very vulnerable
kid who had never like, he had been in society
for like, 48 hours. And that was his first
experience of society! Just be nice to
everyone all the time, because if you don't, you might accidentally
end up bullying a very sweet and vulnerable boy who is just now figuring
out how society works. And he's just as
scared as you are.
