KPCS: Stephen Tobolowsky #114

hi welcome back to Kevin Pollak's chat show I am as always chat show and you are well if you're watching us live half of you are saying there's a herky-jerky thing happening on the visual the other half is saying it's fine what's the matter with you so if you are of the half as my own computer here are showing me where I'm doing some bad Max Headroom rigmarole apologies there abouts and for those of you who were downloading us after the fact apparently not a problem so the professional thing would have probably been to say nothing but for the people who are watching like me there's nothing more aggravating than a big fan of living in ignorance so it's just it out yeah I would have been happy in the matrix this is yeah your shooters thrilled in the matrix take the pill you're kidding all right yeah we just I should mention this is our first time going live in HD wait that's not 3ds age yeah make no difference no we just look worse yeah no that's all the pores that are the problem something tells me the HD is gonna force me to do audio only I'm gonna go to a strictly audio podcast that's for looking at the HD although what might have done I'll have to worry about it because I've never actually watched the show I'm very very excited to be back and if I do a header into the desk during the show just understand that I started this morning in Raleigh North Carolina and I am on caffeine I'm not gonna lie to you but here's the thing that's not even fair why would I with you now of all times when there's crazy herky-jerky things going on I thought you were actually buffering in real life because of the jet lag you were through you were worried for me I thought you were having you were having some sort of aneurysm huh yeah it was just phase one phase one before that or and then you smell toast smell toast all day all day is it toasted is that what we're looking for is I don't think I think that's the go-to smell for that let go to it is the first week of June when we are going out live this means we've reached the midway point of the year I think that's July first well no it's month six so our end of the six month one could argue would be in the exact middle I'm saying July first by most people's accounting but go on are you including smart including smart all right I'll save those save the questions for a month from now please when we don't have a fourth of July show no we have July 10th and then we must have a third no they'll be no show unless there's a pre-tape well I might have to take this up in the last show at June very well very well wait until then for these questions about what it's like to be at the midpoint of the year as we reflect back on the first five and a half months of the year Sammy what are your feeling so far 2011 oh man so much has happened I got my hair cut uh-huh I'm at the Paris with your future ex-wife how dare you say any of those things out loud yes yes I would Paris this is so far it's a great year I have no complaints about 2011 come on no what's we got bin Laden what more do you need yeah I was just I was I couldn't help but go and do a little bit of that I was in North Carolina doing some stand-up show and I dawned on me there's no way to beat him and no way to beat Obama I don't even know why the Republicans that they should just phone it in from Norway just forget it go on vacation let it go even in the debates mr. president you have exactly 90 seconds to rebut on the question that the economy is still in the 90 seconds and then Obama says I got bin Laden that's true next question then he doesn't camp poetry yeah just blows everyone out of the water come on it's amazing forget everyone under question I think we got them up right yeah didn't happen on my watch I'm pretty sure no we shot him in the eye like Moe green from The Godfather huh one of my they had I think I mentioned this before when they had all the memes come out the internet memes about that Laden when the best one was because in the same week it was like I showed you my birth certificate I got bin Laden what else you one for me yeah it really was hey I'm really sad about Trump not being in the race though I really really really liked him being in the race I liked it too but not as much as I like Sarah Palin getting into this race well but that's we've seen this movie too I hope and pray for that every night I hope and pray to gambler if you're a Republican you've just got to be be God come on like somebody okay it's either gonna be her mint or Mitt lint III the reason I wanted Trump to win the presidency the presidency got the nomination no no no his presidency Wow okay and I voted for Al different yeah let's be clear open told me to and I'm not stupid very well I know who the true leader is yep but I wanted Trump to him because I'd like us to have a Kim jong-il all right why can't we had the crazy dressed in a unitard but he's not gonna he doesn't he's not gonna like produce a ballet mm-hmm he's not gonna write an opera he's not no okay no he doesn't do any of that stuff good boy he's he has writers who do all that he's wrong ill he is multi yeah he's very very child multi - I'm showing up ah man hey look I got him to producers birth certificate what do you want from me and by the way you might have killed a kid why do you want it is that was that the other stuff I heard things you might have to stuff me coz he kept saying my-my researchers are finding incredible stuff in Hawaii you're not gonna believe what they're fighting here's the birth certificate well alright I guess they didn't find whoa oh is that exciting stuff bad doesn't matter no no you said they're finding incredible stuff give us even a hint I'd rather not so you were just you're just lying I think I had some question I don't think you did it was a real back-and-forth of news conference by the way I think he really meant there was some rundown property in Waikiki that the Trump could take over I don't know we're losing Jamie's things happening in the room j-mac erection decide me the meme I don't know if they can pull it out I forgot that Obama as a cowboy hat doesn't account for Hannah can you guys throw that up please okay it's coming this is killing me here come well we got very political here very good Osama bin Laden anything else I can do for you it's the Hat it really is the tip of the hat yeah all right and you said and yet we're still not at the middle of the year nope all that all that it's to 2011 man shaping up to be a real one for the whatever the books mmm all right well I think we haven't asked a couple of ask Evans from the viewers if you'd like to have any questions answered by any of us not just me here on the show write to us at contact at Kevin Pollak's chat show com this first one comes from the obsolete man at Kevin Pollak I see you're an indie at crackers comedy in a couple of weeks are you going to do the Bob intact Bob and Tom show while in town yes yes and yes oh well I love the Bob and Tom they've launched have been so great two comedians over the years it's a morning radio show for those of you not familiar all throughout the middle part of the country but like in 140 markets twice they're syndicated big Howard Stern went at the top of his terrestrial career so yeah they were amazing they've launched great careers not mine but they've been very I love Bava Tom and the marsupials thing became like the third most requested in the history of the show which was absurd but now it's a t-shirt on my website Frankenstein never scared me marsupials do because they're fast I think our guest today I worked with Christopher Walken I believe in the dossier they did something together I'm gonna get to the bottom of that you're right cuz I know that there are no better stories than the Christopher Walker stories even if they're made up that can't get enough so yes see you at crackers one of the worst names of a comedy club ever Dana Gould has the best name uncle chuckle hutch I don't know how you got you you could you can't you don't even forget don't even don't even submit I can't touch that antigen next ask evidence from Bruno Santos I feel like these neighbors familiar hi I couldn't help but notice you didn't finish last week's story about the ACP the ACP the Academy of police can't be it Sam no no no I've gotten a lot of letters from them mailings newsletter I know they're a guild I didn't know they were an Academy Academy Academy Almighty Cruz pen being clarified I am thinking you just forgot a couple of letters and it was the end of a c-shape yes the story about the n-double-a-cp you meant a couple of noteworthy events and right through to the end when you were going to say what happened after the acp almighty Cruz pen ran out of ink you got interrupted by the guest yeah that happens because it's a conversation so once and for all how does the story end Kevin too bad they don't sell those anymore no it's not too bad why would I want anyone else to have the almighty Cruz pen which it's now are referred to it's not a Montblanc for those of you a couple people tweeted me saying is a bit small but no it's from Barney's originally was sold at Barney's only yes when when the master cruise credit remember people this was like 20 years exactly 1981 it was about yeah knows not anyone it's 20 years ago so the end of the story is the pen ran out of ink the Pens they went on the mantle I lost one and then I lost the other and then in a recent move found them both they resurfaced and surfaced found them both I think Negron may have taken one of them Negron was sitting on one okay he hadn't taken it he would come over the house and he would snot he brought him wait for us to go where's the pen can you bring it back step he never took it he was smart he just would come over and sit on it and make us think that it was gone right here's what I think yeah I think he had it for a while yeah so you guys were getting suspicious brought it back one day said Oh what is this all wait a minute long as I've been there it hasn't been in my apartment for eight months no that's yours using this tool or chicks used to be I'll show you my etchings now is the Tom Cruise and then Emily god bless her went online and found the ink because I had gone to three different specialties stationery stores in town that's literally like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark when you see all those crates they claim to have that many ink cartridges to choose from none of which fit the key to the almighty cruise been until Emily found them and now they both both of them work and that's the end of the story it's rather uneventful tell it again but that is the end wait till next Christmas when I tell the story again is that gold from a dc-7 nice come on nice come on I think there are DC tens and they do saeng's I don't know what do I know there DC a great great I will see you're 7 yeah so thank you mr. Santos for forcing me to tell the end of that story and really we just saw that Emily could get some little pat on the back and we could discover we can make fronting a grand already on the pen yeah this oh oh the games the games they continue good all right now it's time for Larry King game did we do the graphics we've run out of graphics we did did we not do ask Kevin we didn't I didn't hear the song I didn't hear you do we know audio I want to remind everyone it's our first voyage in HD we're gonna blame everything on that isn't my understanding most of our downloads go audio only um many of it we have many audio only downloads when you say the majority when you say the month of December when we had a million 265 thousand are you suggesting that a million 100,000 were in fact audio only I'm I guess I am suggesting you would be underrating is actually more than so to those folks I will say ask Evan and they can you pretend that that ran over the graphic they're letting us know that there was audio the chatroom heard it but we didn't hear it the family didn't hear it so let's let's start over can we do the show for 17 minutes in our guest has been so patient all right it's time for the Larry King game I got a winner this week who sadly has written in from Mexico City where I will not be sending a t-shirt do you know what you would call 74 dollars also the likelihood that it would actually get to its recipient if if Jeff in Mexico City is watching or listening and you hear tell that I've used your Larry King game and you would like to lay claim to this t-shirt write to us and get it contacted Kevin Pollak's chat show calm and let us know what relative you have in the United States of America or I can send the t-shirt and then they can get it to you can I send it to the Mexico pavilion at epcot or if you'd like to go to Mexico the next and Epcot it'll be waiting for you at booth 12 right next to the three cameo is right uh-huh now the Larry King game from Jeff from Mexico City mm-hmm in light of my forthcoming retirement a certain funny man has come out of the woodwork directing at me a game of unwarranted potshots and no not the kind that Barry Goldwater and I passed around backstage you know Dean Martin roast anyway this funny man calls himself a professional and thinks he can pull off some cockamamie impersonations despite his high-pitched nasally voice saying things like I'm buffering and I'm a pod chat he then concludes the show with a horrible impression of yours truly and a jab at small-town America that sounds something like this I'm Larry King and I can count on both hands the number of male genitalia that I've handled let's go to the phone's roachdale in indiana your quite frankly I'm appalled by the direction in which journalism in this country is turning let's take a call Rosedale Indiana go ahead smack nice effort Wow all the way from Mexico City Wow and a three act play I was not a bit there's something of a novel yes or a novel approach all right there's our winner let us know if you want to stop by Epcot Center oh this is the thing that I had when I was watching the scary thing the the monster scary thing that Elaine and Mike and them do yeah the super scary thing when you have an iMac a power Mac computer apparently the HD is gonna be herky-jerky I take umbrage with this nonsense check it up a Steve Jobs even pana didn't pay enough alright thank you for all your participation everyone those of you watching on a Mac computer apparently we should all go ourselves Martha is yelling at you she's using all caps she said it's not herky-jerky Kevin God Oh Martha oh wow she's not using a Mac environment ask her if she's using a Mac um - my guest today I'm unbelievably excited because we've had character actors on the show before you know that I'm a big fan of my brethren and sistren in the world of the character actor him where we get to Don as many coats and hats and masks as possible as humanly possible this particular gentleman today I've been a fan of for a very very long time I'm not gonna say whether my fanship actually goes back to where is it wait for it wait for it a 1983 television pilot called cocaine and blue eyes but I am curious if he has any insight as to a show with that title did not get picked up to series please welcome Stephen Tobolowsky that show cocaine and blue eyes cocaine and blue eyes actually featured the great OJ Simpson stop no yes as the star and he was the first big star I met in Halle when I was so excited to meet the Jews because he was still part of the human race at that point in time I played I've done this many times I played a porno store owner sure and a lot of times if you look at my resume you'll see a lot of roles that don't really have names they just have either job descriptions or locality man from Texas some right but in this I played a porn store owner and I remember I went up and met him and he was sitting in his Hawaiian shirt and I said mr. Simpson I'm so happy to meet you I loved watching you my father loved you when you were a USC you seemed very charming we went in and we rehearsed our porn store scene and then I went out and I was significantly taller than the Jews yes juice was like about six and I was like six three right when we went back to shoot the scene juice was taller than I was what the and they spent two hours building the floor up so when we did the scene I would be somewhat diminutive to the Jews so that was my first experience clue number one the Colonel Mustard was sharpening his knives oh that movie was so it was so bad was it a movie it was a that was back in the era in which they did made-for-tv movies all right I don't think they do that anymore yeah I think it might have been a backdoor pilot they may have been I don't know but the it was so bad that the one time they aired it was on New Year's Eve evening we're like no that was their version of dropping the ball right but have you seen me in that show you may have been a fan yeah yeah yeah it was pretty good I'm sure well first of all happy belated birthday oh thanks just last week thank you yes and lost a major threshold well is that something you want to talk about well my brother who's a doctor said that all the birthdays that end with zero yes we like a lot because we can demonstrate them with our hands and feet so if that were true I would need hands feet in your hand yeah yeah because I turned 60 and I guess the one great thing about turning 60 I don't know what your favorite thing would be my favorite thing in the world when people have asked me what my favorite thing in the world would be verticals okay but horizontal is better uh-huh in horizontal without shoes better in horizontal that shoes out socks best and when you're sixty you have the courage to tell everyone around you I'm gonna lie in bed she's in socks off my wife made a delicious cake for me I'm on a kind of restricted diet uh-huh as we speak and she actually made a cake that had no fat in it Wow and I enjoyed the day and it was splendid gluten free gluten no I think it had sugar butter fat free it had sugar but it was butter free ah yeah egg free but um I I have no wisdom from my birthday except that it's a lot of pressure no no I I I know people to care a lot about birthdays but I know but okay okay there are a few people by the way I've made a movie about their birthday that's true and that was also I guess sort of a lie because actually we didn't actually film it on my birthday but we pretended it was my birthday but that was the what I you know a few years back I don't know you know I broke my neck yes and then I had to have this heart thing and when you go through several of those meetings with the Grim Reaper yeah you know you just you're just happy for that day to turn every day is a blessing every day yeah yeah it's a cliche but you realize that those cliches are working man's wisdom well they're from the people who've experienced these situations they fall down from that mount and when you don't really appreciate it obviously until you go through it you don't need the new bike anymore no no no you were on horseback at the base of a volcano yeah it was an active one it wasn't it wasn't a wise choice well no it's called adventurous it was adventurous before sure before the wind takes you and your horse into the air yes it's one of the great experiences of your life yes yes we were thrown nobody saw it except that they saw that the horse and I get lifted off the ground and thrown to the other side of the road and that the horse kind of looked at it as God's Way of saying giddy and so he took off and threw me onto a lava flow the horse did not God yeah yeah or you could say well we don't have we do we won't go there but yeah they took me to Reykjavik and this is an Iceland in yeah that's that's that Reykjavik yeah yeah and they they check me out and they said that I had fractured my neck and they put me in one of those few soft collars that they were in the hangover and other movies to indicate the people been injured and I came back to the hotel that was the extent of it they just put you in the neck low soft neck brace you broke five why didn't know that that reykjavik said put on the collar tell her you're fine Wow and I went back and the first thing I did was got back to the hotel about 12:30 or 1:00 in the morning but it was still Sun was shining because I guess the Midnight Sun and the first thing I did was play the piano to see if my hands worked and they did and then I felt I was okay and then I went to the our bedroom and Annie went to take a bath because it had been a very long day for her because she was conscious the entire time she had to endure the entire worry and wear of the day but me I was in and out and I thought well this is great I'll lie down and if anyone has had a broken neck give the the Icelandic medical they they didn't warn me you have to stay vertical for three months vertical so your life is like you're at a bus stop and the first thing I did is I thought I would lie down as I didn't know there was a prescriptive against it and I started lie down in the world yeah went away sure the vision went I couldn't breathe and I thought oh my god I'm dying yeah I forced myself up and I could breathe him the vision came back and I thought what we're not doing that meanwhile thanks Reykjavik for the for the headband it was a hell if it wasn't for has never been a war there nobody wants the place no in the twin D hope it you know you know what they do in Reykjavik Reykjavik no this is a fact I didn't know this was interesting Iceland is where our space crews go NASA goes and practices moon landings because the surface of Iceland they figured is most like the moon this side of the moon oh my god so that they go and they practice in the dust like jumping out of modules we're most moon like vacation here yeah yeah what you're saying is in 69 that's where they shot picking of OJ how can was you know they saw the cocaine in the back it was Iceland it was agreed it was in Icelandic I knew it it's interesting you know when I got back to the United States in fact another doctor found out that I broke five of them in fact I had the Christopher Reeve injury he used that word and that the fourth vertebra was pulverized and they put me in a real collar you know in a real collar and little things you realize you can't do like you can't see your food when you're eating now so you know you're like this and you know that Forks coming up but you don't know what's good beyond and every day every day surprise meal I three months was it more than that or three and a half months and that's that's when I had my audition for Glee and and I I got called in on like a Tuesday to audition for Glee and I'm like going in like this and the doctor told me I was going to be well mm-hmm after three months sure so I go in and I'm going to the waiting room and first off it was like empty so I'm thinking well there's something wrong with this picture but I went in and I thought should I go in with the broken neck or not it's never good for comedy I'd like to go in with the bummer yeah bummer you know hey but I took the collar off and stuffed it under the couch like a filthy rotten lying bastard and they like and the man came out man it was a boy sure he was a young kal-el lad and he said I'm sorry we screwed up it's the wrong day we're doing nip/tuck auditions today Glee is tomorrow and I said it's okay it's okay thank God thank God and I pulled my collar off and again you know it broke my neck and I was not going to go in but this is good I'll come back tomorrow this is not a problem and I felt like that's when I can bring in I got a reprieve I got a reprieve from the big guy uh-huh and I went home and then the next day since I couldn't Drive my dear wife Annie had to drive me she drove me there and I thought we're doing this right and I went into the audition with the broken neck the next day now this day the Glee Glee is for the people everybody's singing you know getting getting ready and I walked in and they're all the producers you know sitting there like they do in those TV auditions I went in acid so this is the deal I broke my neck three months ago and they all are looking at me now like a genital herpes sure and and I said okay I'm gonna I have an audition obviously a long time I'm gonna take this off now and if I can do this audition I'll do it and if I can't I just walk out of this room and we'll pretend this never happened and I put it down trooper and I said I want you to know that if I'm able to do this we did it together and I didn't lie on the first date nice and I did the audition and they called me up a couple weeks later I got the part of the singing dancing pedophile drug dealer yeah he's become a drug dealer is that the latest drug dealer under the stadium I think the network doesn't really like the image I'm portraying I don't appear too often well you're a bit of a villain well I think everybody on that show is kind of you can't really they're all kind of goofy yeah can't really chock it up to the real world yeah it's a heightened we got some week' we have some old high school students you know we have a extremely mean gym coach uh-huh just let it go yeah yeah we let it go in the world a reality we don't care thank you having fun yeah I'm having fun with that I'm you're just off somewhere doing a movie I was off this last weekend doing a movie teenage wasteland now this is this I have a name oh great Rick is my name uh-huh and it's another Hollywood story I know a lot of actors mm-hmm watch watch your show and it's it's another side of Hollywood that I know you know and a lot of times people don't realize is that these people had offered me this part in this movie before and my agents never told me yeah never gave me the script never said anything and it just went by the wayside but they were professional enough to go to my agents first right and then because my podcast they knew what my email was okay and the producer wrote me and said did you ever read the script and I said no thank you I didn't send it to me directly and I read it and it's fantastic right and I saw this guy my god is the director I saw his first film and it's fantastic so I thought I'm doing it yeah so you know it was so that's why I did last weekend was great experience that's up in Vancouver right dad at the one I was working yeah that was seeing a different film is there another one I'm of the same moniker it's not possible well we talked a little bit beforehand about the the motion picture that was not shot during your birthday yes but what I what I remember when this was being talked about as one of those things that oh you've got to see this you've got to see it this is great this is great and the general consensus was that there are there have been documented storytelling films over the times and that this was the new asbestos version I mean the response you must have gotten from your colleagues and from I mean from the audience at large obviously they're they're pretty great about sharing their love but I imagine people within the annoying industry must have been warmed by it as well I think I think it's when it's one of those things you have to twist I remember Eugene Levy the whole story is so strange on how it came about I don't know if anybody knows it but it's kind of interesting in terms of like let's do a musical in our backyard in that a Robert Brinkman I used to always like me telling my stories in the kitchen you know with a couple beers at 2:00 in the morning they would always be true stories of things that happen to me either held hostage at gunpoint in a grocery store and how I got out of it how I got out of being murdered being like kidnapped by monks in Thailand and beaten with sticks in a temple buying drugs for our band in Dallas Texas I went to Dallas our band was in LA I went to Dallas Texas they wanted me to buy marijuana for the band and I've never done anything like this mom wanted to come with me and we were stopped by the police during the sale and I'm in the front seat of a truck with a with a gangster with the gangster who I was warned like don't look him directly in the eye he's a serious man and so we I he gives me a brick of marijuana I give him like a thousand dollars in cash like fives and ones uh-huh it's kind of all we had and then out the rearview mirror on the side while we're exchanging and I put the brick at my feet I'm looking in the rearview mirror and I see policemen like in heat that movie he would you know I'm seeing I'm coming up the side with their guns drawn you know like guns drawn and not going I can't say the man's name or he'll kill me I mean give me but I said to him I said look at the mirror and the guy looked in the mirror and then he looked at me this criminal says kiss me and I said but just me now and so give me the tongue I'm like giving them the tongue in the police go freeze freeze I'm like this and you know I got like a what we have here me and Juliet get out of the damn car Oh does mama know where you're at actually she does she wanted to come so they did good cap cop bad cop he was obviously bad cop because he was bare chested and had a kind of a human skin vest sure and and I was kind of the preppy kind of so they separated us there and he said what are you doing here tonight what are you doing here and I was gonna like well I just you know I'm in town visiting and want to be alone is's uh no and you just you just felt like had to get something let go well yes sir they were so completely were so convinced that we were gay they'd even search the truck didn't even look in the truck didn't even look in the truck and he says don't let us catch you here at this lake again and they sent us on our way how genius was this criminal just wanted to say kiss me I win - the guy's a genius honest to god saved you a prison record a guy who's sort of county lockup the guy that I went home and I had this he said hexxus oh you were gonna do time do time yeah they would have executed me it was old smokey is that what they call it old smokey it hunts felled the prison yeah Sparky yes thank you on that reference very good old Sparky I went home and I took this brick of marijuana and now I'm home with it and don't quite know what to do with it mmm so I stick it in my boot of course and then like I pack it up in my carry-on bag to take on the airplane I'm sorry it sound like you said you're all ready to take it on the airplane so I go through I'm put my bag through mom and dad are there at the airport and the bag is going through and then something silent sirens now there are different stages of panic like if you'd like they have Fujitsu scale tornadoes mm-hmm like you know there's like you know there's you know where you just stutter and then there's where you go pale and then there's I was like an f4 on the way to Fi where you'd like turn white with red blotches actual eruptions of the skin it's kind of like black Sunday that movie with Barbara Steele there's actually erupting and I call it because here I was not only going to be executed in old Sparky but your parents are president parents are present it couldn't be more humiliating so the guy said I'm gonna go through this bag and I go yes sir yes sir he unzips the bag and reaches in and pulls out a pound cake wrapped in foil oh yeah and mom goes oh that's a pound cake I put in there oh I wrapped it in foil maybe I shouldn't have done that he goes no ma'am the foil will set it off every time oh well I'm sorry here you go son we got back to Los Angeles and as it turned out the marijuana that I brought back was fine contaminated contaminated with with some sort of ammonia but we smoked it anyway it had it had the unique ability to remove the power of speech so which is bad when you're in a rock and roll band so you know we would do the first song and we you know we rolled it up and we were smoking out there and then I started the first song and I had the guitar and I was like coming up the microphone like getting really I had hair and I was looking sexy at that time uh-huh and I went up to the mic I was like and I backed up from the mic and then I looked over the bass player who also sang no one could speak and so we did like an instrumental set and and we went out we had two more sets to do and oh my god and at the end of that first set we were like so like man that was good let's do that again that's terrible but yeah that was that was I would tell those I got off the track no there is no track my friend you're doing would tell brakeman robber Brickman those story like that do we like that and he said let's do a movie yeah and I said no that's gonna be boring this could be terrible and so we didn't do anything for like 15 years and then like in 2000 oh here's the story bucket element of it so in 2005 was the invention of HD HD and we could actually do this film for like almost no money right you know 40 40 grand and do an entire feature instead of 500 grand so I talked to Robert and we both were doing nothing so we said let's shoot this movie and so I kind of put together some of my true stories from my life movie stories I didn't include the one about the Jews but movie stories mixed with life stories mm-hmm and did you include the one about the Jews but not the Jews were cut can I hear a little bit about the monks in Thailand who kidnapped you okay I went to buy some grass and you wonder why the good Lord threw you off a horse in Iceland no no you had tested the fates my friend I I was doing a movie in Thailand and called last flight out with a cast of God is this the one where Boghossian took you to the sex class Arabic Ocean the Great hang Noor James Earl Jones Arliss Howard my god oh my god I mean I mean I was the name of this great ship Rena it was called last flight out I was it was about the last flight out of Vietnam last chapter I don't know yeah well it was actually not the chopper that we know in the picture this was an American Airlines jet that was responsible for getting everybody else the last flight that left that couldn't get on the chopper and I played a doctor and the first half of the script I had to named Tim and the second half of the script I was Jim so I was Tim Jim and Richard Crenna always would call me Tim Jim whenever we rehearsed and then when we I never really found out what my real name was and but while we were doing that movie I went out with Eric Bogosian and we went out to various places in Thailand Bangkok one of which being the sex bars but one time I was walking around and there was a monk there lots of monks all over the street and they have their little cups you know they're holding the cups up like this and so I took some of my per diem I think it was like $20 and put it in their cup and the monk looks and the company starts screaming like aah and it gets up any Gretchen I want to grab my microphone he grabs my shirt he starts shaking me starts anti you know you can't I don't want to insult anyone too late too late you know it's you know so I started the month start shaking me at screaming in other monks who have their cup starts with me and they run and they all grabbed me and they all grabbed me and they take me by the arms and they're carrying me through like this little area through the streets and into this stone doorway and they take me down into this basement and throw me on the stump board not hard but just kind of push me down on the stone floor and there's this gigantic reclining buddha in front of me with like incense coming up and then they get these canes like king says and they start beating me with the Canes and I'm going look I'm covering up because you cover up when they start hitting you you don't think of you know sharp or fancy things to do moves that you learned somehow you just cover up and then afterwards one of the monks picked me up and put a medallion around my neck with the reclining Buddha and with the picture of the Buddha there and I walked back to the hotel and the concert now this is amazing the concierge was from San Francisco and his son his son was Muraki what maracas I'm going into the hotel and Mo Rocca is there and I said because I didn't know Mo Rocca from Adam he was a young fella young whippersnapper sure callow lad and Annie comes up and I said excuse me the most amazing odd thing happened to me I was just grabbed by these monks and beat my 60s the monks grabbed you they took you into the temple oh that's a blessing oh they beat you with sticks that's a serious blessing oh you have the reclining Buddha you have been blessed what did you do and I said well I was walking down the street and I gave like I guess $20 $20 you get $20 to one of those monks do you know you gave them in their cup more than all of those monks are going to make in one year the amount of money you gave to them you have been blessed and maybe that's why I wasn't killed in Iceland as a matter of fact but meanwhile you sound like you were beaten and tortured as a way of saying thank you but I was blessed in and I gave that a dear friend of mine Bob ex-marine great friend one best friend of world fact our first son is named after Robert he was going into surgery serious surgery from which he did not recover and brain cancer no boy and I gave him the reclining budda as a good-luck charm and maybe he had good luck somehow somehow somewhere maybe it would helped him on his voyage maybe it helped him on his way but here's the bob yes that the bomb indeed don't give it to Bob no well I think the story ends well yeah because when you're being taken by the screaming monks yeah and beaten with the sticks I'm thinking it's a terrible thing to happen for a guy was just trying to be generous truly I'm thinking yeah but it was a different culture you know in Thailand that you've worked all over the place and and you know the sometimes prep you as to local customs yeah they're supposed to and when we went on the trip to Thailand we get this whole sheet of paper saying like the feet in Thailand are profane the feet are profane so do not point a shoe in anyone's face really don't put your shoes on the pillow of your bed in the hotel don't take a coin which has the picture the president flip it in the air and put your shoe on it and don't and this is not a joke this is like for real you will go to prison if you go outside with your shoes on your head well shouldn't we all do do not how is that not a rule in this country yeah come on but at least it's punishable there by other kind of flaws yeah so I don't see any of these things happening but thanks for the warning from the production company shoes on the pillow I don't recall that ever happening I always in a hotel first thing I do when you want to pillow when you want to be shined you got to put them in the bag or on the pillow two signs right I guess you know culture don't whine and study for the heads up you bet it's first thing that's what I'm here for I don't see any those things happening you're I listen to the most recent of the Tobolowsky file podcast yes David Chen helped kind of set the whole thing up yeah David Chen was oh I never got to the fairytale element of the story please so any what well cuz it goes into David Chen okay if it's you you said waited perfectly so alright so we shoot this movie about my birthday party where I tell true stories from my life and from whatever and we have to borrow everything to do this sure movie in our backyard in our house on the beach there is no script no rehearsal no permits no nothing and I read you end up using the first take of every story first take of every story unbelievable so all we there's nothing and it is just me telling true stories from my life but anyway in the borrowed equipment we had one of the DVDs that that Andy our producer and editor was working on went back to the people we had borrowed the equipment from and they saw this movie and they went like this is fantastic and they called us up and said would you like to premiere it at the HBO comedy festival and we go well yeah that's poke in the eye with a sharp stick and that's where I saw Eugene Levy going in and he was going to see some other movie and I was saying why don't you go see mine because you could this is an old movie this movies been around but this one is going to go nowhere my movie zero and he went to see it and afterwards he came out and he was crying and he hugged me and he said thank you for forcing me to see this movie and I would do that to everyone in America I could but David Chen saw this movie and Rotten Tomatoes gave it 100% Rotten Tomatoes good yeah Rotten Tomatoes a 100% a percent I didn't know that yeah and David Chen saw the movie wanted to interview me about birthday party like how we did it how on earth and how we shot it because when you're only doing these stories and you have nothing to cut to that the only way we could edit the movie was by doing the same story in different places so we could balance them and II could balance the movie out if there were too many sex stories in there it sounded like Howard Stern too many drug stories sounded like Cheech and Chong too many stories about mom and growing up in Texas and like the Waltons so it had to be kind of a balance which I think Robert Brinkman and Andy did beautifully and David Qin saw the movie you wanted to interview me about it he has a film show on / film comm right which is kind of as out of Boston New York and Los Angeles and David Chen lives in Boston and so during the interview he said would you be interested in doing a birthday party part two as a podcast and I'd produce it and we would just do it at your home in LA and I'd record it here in Boston and he's a master with Pro Tools and everything and so we said sure so that's how the podcast started like a year and a half ago and then it just kind of so you two will get on skype or the phone or whatever yeah and he'll set up a topic and you'll tell the story no it's it's like we didn't know how it would work right we started off because it's a film site I started like we'll all do film stories like just film stories like Oh Jay Simpson or working on Mississippi burning or Thelma and Louise you know there you know there's millions of stories for groundhogs Dave me apparently we're programming we we will need a little bit of the stew Oh story from yes Harold Ramis yeah so enemies David Chen said please we'll just do this so I did like a couple movie stories and then like my right brain was talking to my left brain and said you have to tell the story of the day your mom died Wow and so I wrote it out and I did this story and suddenly the podcast like exploded right and I started getting letters from all over the world like people saying man so now the podcast kind of takes on its own life it's either stuck there two rules the stories have to be true and they have to have happened to me like I can't tell a story like Kevin just told me this hilarious story that happened to him or whatever because then you screw up the story right it's somebody else's story and you don't know if it's true and the truth of the story like you said with mom and the pancake no one believes that stuff right you can't be clever and think of things like that truth always Trump's clever and we started the podcast now we're into I just finished writing episode 50 yesterday which is I guess it kind of centers around when I was held hostage at gunpoint in a grocery store you know and how I got out of that that was part of a to attempted murders in one week yeah you attempted well you're in Connecticut with Connecticut two attempted murders that was different murder oh that's it was in Dallas Texas come on no no David Chen was right you're the one that should have this show yes yes where where 50 different shows revolve around stories from your life right it's it's well our mutual friend Jason antoon said that that I am gonna have to get a little bit of the held at gunpoint but I thought he said there was another thing about the terrorists oh gosh oh gosh Jason was a part of that yes oh gosh I totally forgot that well apparently okay yeah here's that story have you not done that yet on your no okay I forgot you can audition it here yeah it's he gave me a little bit of at night started to chase him because Jason is of the Arabic persuasion yeah and he's Lebanese yeah if I had only known well he and I are natural enemies worked again what a guy yeah so I over the course of a year you know we have a fax machine at home and occasionally you would get ads on fax machines which are pretty irritating for your home and you hear the fax machine at 2:00 in the morning and it's like you know on where to get your car reupholstered yet over the course of a year I got another thing of a letter that was written in Arabic and I'm going like and then over the then over then another letter written in Arabic and then before 9/11 I got another letter written in air but can I have these three letters that are kind of come through the fax machine and then comes 911 and I'm talking to my wife Annie I'm saying do you think any of those letters were important communications to perhaps the FBI or somebody should have seen and she said well maybe you should call the FBI big mistake Oh anyway always rule of thumb rule with them don't call them so I called up the FBI hmm and I said I'd needed to talk to an agent because I've received three Arabic faxes and I didn't know if perhaps it's related to 9/11 in some way you're still on a no-fly list you're still on enough slightly they wanted to know they wanted to know well who do you who do you know I was so no one this just came to my house by accident I just wanted to give this to you I just wanted to send this to you and and have somebody there who knows Arabic or something read this and this is why I wanted Jason to read the letter so I finally get an agent on the phone and I give them my name and address and they said just put it in your fax machine and send us the arab fax so I put it in this is the truth it ain't clever it's the truth I press the sin button the fax machine comes to life and instead of sending to the FBI I start receiving from the FBI I start getting page after page after page of terrorists information saying top secret for your eyes only do not you know and page after page page pictures of these Arabic guys and part and pictures and like dossiers and all this stuff now not only do they not have the Arabic fax I have 50 pages of top-secret information I call them again then they go hello this is Stephen Tobolowsky it didn't go well the first I have 50 pages of top secret terrorist information that was just said who are you Stephen Tobolowsky I just called someone because I have an Arabic fax I thought was blatant Island how do you have the Arabic fax nothing nothing I was speaking with agent olmeyer before you know agent olmeyer only casually only from the first phone call I have this I have a dossier now and it's and it says are you guys gonna kill me and my wife Anne is sitting next to me in her run honey run and her eyes are like biggest saucers and she's like reading at all and it's about all these people that have been stopped at LAX with $50,000 in their luggage and people with fake IDs and all this who should I even be saying this Oh secret so we got it we got on tank so anyway he said whatever you do don't look at that material whatever you do and whatever you do don't in 10 years from now divulge any of that material on a podcast on the Internet so so they said you have to shred it do you have a shredder I go no sorry I don't I said I don't have a shredder I could tear it up for you on the phone you could hear it honey give me some of the papers I said I could bring it to your house or whatever he says listen I want you to take that information I want you to tear it up into little pieces I want you to put it in the trash can and never call us again and I go yes sir never do it again and we but this was the facts that I wanted Jason to read to read if it was related to 9/11 well the good news is you didn't in fact tear and Eve it up you didn't throw any of it away we're going to show one piece let's take a look at the first one this is the one you showed Jason right so let's take a look at the first one yeah did you actually have him read any of it yeah I did we should ask him it what it said he didn't tell you he said he was going to and and I I want to make sure I I think he said he was gonna take it to a friend of his right to really make sure they get all everything right because I think it was written in some dialect he wasn't familiar with completely but he could read it I think he was implying that it was also reupholstery work yeah I don't know dear Uncle Bob here's the recipe for that baba ghanoush you wanted to make hope I got your fax number right right first of all don't look at anybody yeah yeah that was Jason yeah they said heaven help us yeah that was that was terrifying yeah I've heard I totally forgot that story that one is not on birthday party in fact I haven't done a podcast about that one yet well I encourage you but the the the two attempted murders in Connecticut you're saying is separate from being held a gun pointing to Dallas yeah well when I was well I was they asked me to be on the Tom Schneider show loved him dearly we ripped him off at the top of the show every time and I gave him credit and they I was they had a list it's a like has anything unusual happened to you I was one of their questions and I had been called by buzz magazine that said I was nominated as one of the 100 coolest people in Los Angeles one of the coolest one of the coolest people in Los Angeles and and I said whoa this is remarkable and they said well you haven't won yet you've just been nominated we don't know who you are could you send us a list of things you've done that are cool and then I had to think of like well what have I done that's cool so like the being beaten by monks in Thailand definitely cool that was on the list when I was in Hartford Connecticut doing a play at Hartford rep I was almost murdered on a Monday and a Thursday of the same week two different parties two different parties reasons two different reasons failed attempts yeah as you sit in front of us oh one of them I read you were just stabbed in the belt stabbed in the belt by a man I was trying to hold the door up into a pizza joint and he thought I was blocking the door and he pulled out a knife instead I was wearing an overcoat and he stabbed me in the well you gave him no choice though you were blocking the door blocking the door you were asking for I was asking for he stabbed me the other was so he was trying to gut you and hit your belt he would say don't disrespect me and my lady and he push it but he wasn't like he didn't like do the the gutting a frog thing with like my heart thing yeah but but he just like stuck it in there is like okay okay please go and have a pizza no disrespect meant please no God and I thought you know I'm not walking home on the same street again like twice was a three on a match from World War one right unlucky you know so I'm not gonna do that again but the held hostage at gunpoint was in Dallas Texas that was I'm exhausted that was Hartford not Bridgeport for the record yeah for the record Hartford is a very strange City because they have home of the Hartford Whalers couldn't be no they have a lot of bookstores that have like you know in the in the back of the book stores they have like these places where you buy like S&M stuff ah I have no idea how I know about that but it's a Goshen told you but I was in the was in the grocery store in Dallas and I was buying you know wine and chicken and mangoes sure which was a new fruit at the time to time yes give you an idea we didn't know what a mango really was except they ate of my mutiny on the bounty and I thought it'd be fun so I was like picking it up and I didn't know if it was ripe if he had to shake it or if you how it was right then this older man came up to me and he said I I see you at mangoes most exotic of fruits and he spoke in a mysterious voice well you don't talk to someone while you're got a grocery cart it's like as bad as talking to someone on an elevator you don't do it I mean I don't do it I mean you don't do it you don't go up to people and talk and I thought that was a problem and then he was like he started crying which I thought this is a real problem and I thought well he's senile he's an old man I'm just gonna give him one of the mangoes and I bent down the grocery cart to get a mango and I saw he had a 45 behind his back on his hip and I came up and I guess he saw that you said in my face that I saw and he goes I don't know why I picked you today and he whirled around and put the gun into my forehead I don't know I had picked you today yeah oh the tears are coming down his face and he says I contracted this cattle disease South America that leads to suicide or homicide and my thought was just my luck today let's wait a little bit maybe the suicidal come I don't know why I picked you yeah and and the the gun was in my head and I looked and I saw that the store was completely empty at that point and in my brain I'm going you know oh you're dead and you're dead and the most curious thing happened again this is true it's more curious by the way than the guy taking out the weapon and putting it at you yeah the only thing I could think of is Medical Center on television Chad Everett sure as I remember in one of those shows Chad Everett had a similar scene where someone comes into the emergency room with a gun and Chad ever gives the advice to keep the gunmen talking why didn't know you literally thought of that in the moment I thought of that in the moment keep the gunman talking and I said Everett is the reason you're alive almost but I couldn't keep the gunman talking but I could talk know what he was so I started talking and I started cobbling together monologues from Medical Center because well if you remember that you're not old I was a shot Everett was the brash young doctor and James Daley was the head surgeon his father so I go like you know you remind me so much of my father - the gunman I thought you remind me so much of my father my father doesn't love me he's a doctor I'm not smart enough to be a doctor nothing I ever do was writing that nothing ever do is good enough there's no other girl I could bring home that's right enough for him why all I want to do is love him and all I want him to do is love me but he won't and I mean I'm going like this like a mile a minute and are you aware that there this is part of a plan just keep him occupied I just it was just like Hello just like and I started talking about monologues I just remembered monologues from Medical Center I used it as material and while I'm talking to him I'm looking and out the front window of the store I see SWAT guys Sharon going back and forth under the window with rifles I see the back of a like a news with the reporter like there while I'm talking I hear a helicopter above me and then while I'm talking because I was talking for like 45 minutes like non-stop I see God paramedic ambulance like come up park in the parking lot they open up the back doors of the ambulance and they throw out a body bag and a gurney and I'm thinking is it gonna be today chief what's it gonna be what rolling the dice and I felt the adrenaline kind of going down and I thought like I'm cooked I got to do something I got to do something and the only thing I could think to do was invite him over for dinner sure and I said you know I really have to kind of go now and we're getting a lot of this worked out what are you up to now what are you doing you know I got some chicken here we're gonna eat the mangoes have a little Italian Swiss colony wine maybe you come on over and we keep the thing going do you have a pen on you while he's got the gun fighting me he had the gun at your forehead this entire this entire time he's doing this he's leaning against the wall he's doing this the entire time he reaches into his pocket pulls out a pin much cheaper than that mighty a pin and tears off some of the brown paper bag from the mango bag and hands me the piece of paper in the pin and I was so scared and so write down your address could come over yeah we come over I wrote down my real address and I handed him the piece of paper and then came like what was kind of the scariest moment for me and that I realized I can't keep talking I gotta go I gotta gotta go and he's in front of my card he's got the gun here he's holding my cart and I pushed the card around him I said so you come over let me put the chicken in right now it's like 6:30 you come over like 7:00 and you meet my girlfriend Beth will show you around and then we'll open up the bottle of wine we keep it up we keep talking why do we say so I push back and then I feel the gun going to the back of my head and then the little voice inside of me was saying don't run whatever you do don't turn around and I kept pushing and at the corner there was the stack of Pepsi's and I thought like the little voice was saying you get around those Pepsi's you could run if you get around the Pepsi's you could run and I'm pushing and I don't look back and I don't look back and I turn and past the Pepsi's and as soon as I passed the Pepsi's the SWAT team had been in there the entire time while I was doing my medical center monologue they had snuck in the back door and come down the aisles of food on either side and had guns their rifles pointed through the food at us the entire time and as soon as I rounded the Pepsi's I hear this commotion I look back they had jumped over the food you know how high those aisles are at the store they jumped over and that guy was completely tied in like eight seconds they had his ankles and they carried him out like a snake like a boa constrictor they just carried him out of the store they carried him out and I took my little cart up and I'm in the deserted store and I stand over at the cash register and I wait and a policeman comes up to me and says hey buddy so I go home my girlfriend Beth is there and she says well where are you so long she's held hostage at gunpoint and she says well took a long time I said a dog cooked up the chicken oh man my word now while you're doing the monologues are you aware of his appreciation of your efforts or is he just just if in fact you were going out at 45 minutes or so it seemed I didn't hear if he was interjecting at all if he was saying anything if he had his own point of view yeah no one has ever asked me that question before he didn't talk but I could tell from his eyes was engaged right I could tell from his eyes because he was kind of like listening and nodding to me it's probably why you your brain was working a little faster and as a survival code almost yeah he's engaged as long as I keep talking I'm gonna be fine right because that's what I was sort of picking up as you were telling the store because I just felt if there I had the feeling that if there was a vacuum right if there was a void of any kind out of the void he would think of something else to do well he would oddly be able to finish yeah finish what he wanted to do oh gosh I remember I remember standing there because there's separate realities that happen sure I'm seeing the police and all that stuff happenings out there I'm talking to him and at the same time I'm thinking why aren't they coming in here and say no I was I was 25 years old I was 25 I'm 60 now that was what how long 35 years yeah 35 years ago that happened and I'm standing in there thinking in the grocery store I remember while I'm talking while I'm looking out the window thinking this could be my last day on earth I could be one of those people that you read about in the paper that died when they're 25 that I that notion pops into your head while you're doing it while I'm doing it and while I'm seeing the police like a whole other me sure sticks up and says like hello right you know I completely believe the stories about the women who lift the automobiles to save their babies I completely believe you know that survival mode and that it's it's it's somewhat related when I had the surgery and they give you they give you medicine to kind of paralyze you and they have to wait to your body has certain signals before they take the breathing tube out well unfortunately my brain woke up before the rest of my body did and I was awake and alert and knew that all those tubes were going down my throat and I couldn't I was strangling I couldn't breathe and the nurse was whispering in my ear and she said don't chew on the tube don't chew on the I don't like and I feel like I'm choking to death and I found and I looked up at the clock and the first thing I did was I saw the first conscious memory I have was it said two o'clock to zero zero and I'm there choking and can't breathe and then some little part of me said there's a little place in you where you can live and it's like right down in this little corner if you just get yourself in that little corner well you could breathe and stay alive and I've tried it and I could breathe and not choke on the tube and I looked up and it was 2 o clock to zero zero and then it went one two oh one the time had slowed down for me so monumentally right that the inside of me was as fast as that guy would when I was talking to the guy but the outside of me was moving like ice in a glacier and they didn't take that too bad until six o'clock and that 4 hours was the most extraordinary period of time I've ever had in my life where every minute was unbelievable right and unless I kept in that little place I would choke I would strangle and I the concentration yeah I guess when you go through these things you try to learn lessons yeah well you you do learn lessons you do yeah there's no trying yeah at the by surviving the lesson I learned that moment was past it's like pretty unimportant except for podcast and a drink afterwards yeah you know the bar future everything promised to nobody nobody not even us in this room we could be hit by a piece of the Andromeda constellation you're not wrong sir yeah the only thing you have the Heron now next moment the next you only have that next little beat where you could either say I love you or you could say I regret what I just did and and you can make that choice to do that then and that's it that's all your life is is that next moment and that's anywhere Eric Bogosian where's Eric God brilliant brilliant guy what a rider oh yeah yeah that's awful scomp bit of a scamp yeah yeah a little bit holy crap I don't want to not include our audience yes as they offer up question this are via Twitter are you enjoying your time on Twitter by the way I am yeah I find it very interesting yeah I'm a narcissist so it's Nirvana I realized and started talking about it in my act that I don't know what I'm doing at all clearly because I will start the day with 200,000 followers and I'll tweet I think I'm gonna make a sandwich and then 20 people will reply to eat what kind of sample and then I'll tweet what kind of sandwich I'm gonna have and then two people will reply mmm so I've taken two hundred thousand and palm of my hand reduced it to two but at least they like but they're very into that sandwich I don't think I know what the I'm doing all right from Facebook sir yeah any nun would like to know Steven given your countless appearances and TV and movies has there been a role that made you think a mark has been made in your career now as a character actor I can suggest that having been asked a billion times when you're doing it man did you know how special it was I mean all you know well what the elements are in the moment how did you feel when you were doing etholon yeah I felt like I'm surrounded by brilliant actors and I'm the luckiest Jew in the block is what I felt brilliant script brain performance on your brain performance by everybody you're right yeah is stunning think did you know at the time it was going to be like great great great movie I didn't know it was gonna be Barry's masterpiece which one could argue mm-hmm I just knew that I was surrounded by absolutely brilliant stage actors and I was a comedian this was my first dramatic role in a film or anything mm-hmm all right I was guy at the bookstore and thirtysomething one of those roles we just have a title not a name huh bookstore guy I'm just a fan so it so I just knew that I was surrounded by greatness and and that was it and there's been those moments where we're fortunate enough to be in something that turns out to be incredible and remembered and and Groundhog Day in more ways than one pun intended yeah but was there a time when you were in the pocket and you felt other than your own experience was gonna be special that somehow this question has always been trite to me so I guess I'm trying to Pat it wouldn't know I thing it I hear you I think you know there's a whole difference between whether the public buys it and whether it's going to be a great experience when I did Groundhog Day I remember when I got on that movie I thought the script was kind of okay yeah it was so so it was kind of a typical kind of Bill Murray movie bill with like no consequences and the same kind of scene you know sleeping with different women robbing cars tearing places robbing banks all sorts of stuff and then at the end he got bored tried to kill himself and couldn't do it and then he decides not to be a jerk anymore that was kind of pretty much the movie we got on the set and Harold Ramis and Danny Rubin the writer stopped and they said wait a minute what would really happen if we had no consequences let's rethink this they threw half the script away and then they started rewriting and we were getting green double buff yeah double cherry we were getting pages hot-off-the-press and we were reading this thing and I was going like this is magnificent now I don't know if that's an answer to his question but they they started at they moved bills suicide to more the middle of the movie and added all of his piano playing and the kid falling from the tree and saving the old man and not saving the old man and the mayor and the old ladies all that stuff was kind of added at the end of the movie and it's what made it like from a good movie and a great fun Bill Murray vehicle to a classic to a classic and the greatest Bill Murray performance I mean the one that I loved the most it's just a beautiful performance that was special and when I read the script memento I had no lines in it I ended up with lines in it but why I read it and I said to Annie I said this could be the best script I've ever read yeah and so I knew at the time all you could do is relate to the material yeah if if you relate to hits you know when we did great balls of fire we thought we were in a multibillion-dollar film we thought Jerry Lee Lewis and Winona and Dennis and they gave great performances and everything was terrific no didn't it didn't happen it didn't happen off you can't be result-oriented panting I think it's a complete waste of time not just in our business in life but but those two films I think Groundhog Day and memento I knew going into it that I wanted to be a part of it just because the scripts were so good well Groundhog Day ex post facto right but so while you were in it they resist while I was in it there was an excitement that we all knew yeah like like when you were doing Evelyn we all knew that you were a part of something that really had the potential to come together yeah there are certain projects that you sense whether or not it's going to be a hit whether or not it's gonna be a blockbuster it's going to have legs this will speak to the next generation and the one after that when we did Thelma Louise we had no idea Ridley Scott directed that I remember we had finished shooting it and I was walking down Wilshire Boulevard and Ridley had come out of a building because Steven Steven I just saw the film it's great he was sure yeah big surprise you know and it was Craig yeah sure and you know a lot of times movies are more alchemy than chemistry and you the ingredients kind of come together and they just become bigger than the whole you know they're they have a bigger kind of yeah in that case you you also the deal with that young whippersnapper that was on Brad Pitt fella he kept calling me sir sir can I get you some tea sir would you like to sit in my chair sir I never felt so old and ugly in my life he's still a sweetheart you still look weak still a good old boy sweet kind I am torn up in that movie nicest kind of world and can't stand marijuana either hates the stuff that won't come won't go anywhere near go and it won't touch you know don't bring me the marijuana you've worked with a couple of my heroes if you don't mind so I can't believe we didn't end up working together on something but um Mel Brooks and Woody Allen coming from my background are as Mount Rushmore as it gets mm-hmm and in the comedy true voice originals mm-hmm I was gonna show you're that one of the scenes from Spaceballs at the opening but decided to go with your great story instead but how much fun was there to be had on that set yeah that was Spaceballs was one of the first movies I ever did right and I was in this play there was a bit of as a disaster what can I say that three times fast Bill Pullman was in it and my wife Ann played a baboon sure and I played a man in pyjamas of course and it was kind of a kind of existential Roman Jesus at the time of his crucifixion play called Barabbas by Michel de Gelder Road he never wrote it for humans he wrote it for puppets he wrote it for marionettes and he was proud of the director was from the National Theatre of Norway and he brought his wife over to play Jesus of course so American audiences were a little confused confused that Jesus was such a babe Wow and and so I was out on stage and performing with a parachute over my head doing a monologue that I'm having a bad dream and my fellow actor never showed up on stage and so I it was King Herod and he never showed up to do the next scene so I took the parachute off and I said to the audience the paying audience let me explain what's supposed to happen at this part of the show did you you broke the wall I said at this part of the show I is Pontius Pilate how many of you know King Herod raise your hand hands anyway from the back of the theater I hear stop stop stop this is impossible our director from Norway he came down onto the scene now by the way yes and the audience is like thrilled and feeling like he says so King Herod it's not here I got no King character this is maybe you do the nightmare one more time with the parachute I said well then it will become a recurring nightmare that would be a rewrite suits right we see if Herod shows up so I did it again no Herod maybe he comes out and plays ahem you know Herod and Stein yells from the back and see if there's like three hundred people there and goes do the nightmare again the audience is gonna know not again with the nightmare Herod comes running out the audience starts applauding all right he has a terrified look he starts performing and as I'm performing I noticed a kind of Danxia smell I think we're developing a theme here a very potent istick kind of smell about him and we're doing we do our scene and then someone else enters to guess I'm sorry I miss my entrance uh I found a great place under the under stage to smoke and I said what's long as it's for a good cause and you leave me pry it out here Wow it turned out Mel Brooks saw the show shut up yeah called me got my number somehow from theater and called me at home and said Stephen saw that show walking around the parachute on your head very strange very strange I said well our director is from Norway says I know but performing with all that fabric you know we have we have uh we're doing this movie with Bill Pullman and Frank Langella was gonna play this part captain of the guard but he's dropping out so maybe you could do it what do you think you come by the studio while working out we'll see what we come up with so I showed up Monday and they didn't get to my scene I just got to hang out with John Candy and Rick Moranis and all that you know just sat and be a fly in the wall and watch it bill and didn't work Tuesday Wednesday Thursday finally they shot my frame scene Friday I was getting a little pissy ya know I didn't know I didn't know I just saw in movies that actors get pissy when they have to way and I was gone like you know finally get to me in the ad the assistant director said you know they pay you for every day you're here I said you're kidding I mean they're paying me since Monday yeah movies they pay you not to work this is fantastic so I realize I wanted to get away from the stage yeah yeah go into movies and that's when I did Spaceballs that was a great experience I later work with Mel on Mad About You and he brought up some of the spaceball memories of that to god he's so brilliant yeah I mean and when you again it's like when you watch a really great magician and and you've got like how did they do that yeah and when you in Mad About You you know we threw the script down and just starts making stuff up and it's funnier than anything ever in the script no offense to the writers but it was just hysterical right and you go how was he pulling that stuff out and maybe maybe had a team of writers doing it for weeks beforehand yeah no he's a regional thinker who was amazing yeah funny came to him like breathing for amazing amazing yeah but it was it was again you watch it like you watch Mount Everest and you go like wow beautiful you said in all you said on all Jamie I want to offer you an opportunity for a little follow-up I didn't sorry I moved off of the ramus you have to understand that there is an era of of Harold Ramis says yeah I think it's the 70s I'll take them all the way up to like 90 - yeah during the stripes era mm-hmm when for for my my better half here he's the sexiest two alive there's no explaining it there's no rhyme or reason little girl I love like all the girls love Peter Venkman not me I love he gone he's my man yeah thankfully for me he's currently you know blown up like a poisoned dog but back in the day what happened who's the kidney why would you know we can't ever get him on the show he said did you have a follow-up question for the Ramos perhaps from I didn't want to yeah I was I know I just like that they completely rewrote the script that was great yeah he did he said two things oh yeah this do thing well well I asked him when I was doing Ned Ryerson if I was after the firt you know I was doing another movie at the time called calendar girl in Paris California not pers yep Harry erri could have been Paris Texas yeah skydiving there but they are the same the same production unit coordinator as Groundhog Day uh-huh so that means they could violate union rules sure so I was shooting the one movie and they fly me up to Chicago with no sleep because it was technically a different film and I didn't need 12 hour turnaround oh my god so they fly me up there I get to my hotel at like 2:30 in the morning I have a note there that I'm first up I'm gonna meet Harold Ramos and Bill Murray on the street at 6 o'clock to do the street scene and I'm in a panic and I look in the mirror I think like okay you have like two three hours of sleep you got to do this you've got to do this it's important you cannot crap out on me now Stephen you got it this and I went down on the street and bill is a big guy he's bigger than me he's like six five something like that so what are you gonna do and I said well you know I thought okay well you could do that this is that works you could do that and I went up to Harold Ramis I said please tell me it's what I'm doing too broad too broad for this he goes no no no Stephen you are the spice in the stew you are not the stew bill is the stew when you're doing a movie one person is the stew and the other is the spice in the stew you could be as big as you want to be in a movie he told me that an important thing that stayed with me my entire life and it's for everybody out there who is an actor watches the show and is discouraged as we often get want to be a director wants to be a writers discouraged Harold Ramis told me once he said Stephen it is impossible to succeed in this business without four angels you need four people that for no reason come from somewhere you never expected mm-hmm and give you a hand and help you in my life I've had at least four you know alan parker in mississippi burning was an angel to me i was signed on to be on that movie for two weeks playing the head of the Ku Klux Klan but because of thunderstorms that kept me on for ten weeks and I had a knock on my trailer one day and Alan Parker was there and he said I heard you're interested in directing since you're gonna be here a while maybe you'd like to follow me around and see me do what I do oh my I'm thinking like oh sure people do this all the time I go yes sir sure I'll do it and so I started following Alan around I he invited me into camera planning he on how we're gonna shoot another scene right he took me into film editing sound editing the a costume department the set every aspect of film every aspect he said that's what we do here this week and then we start saying okay how are we going to shoot this thing tomorrow and I be in there and the DP was there the all the camera guys are there and I said well let's see we start with a wide shot and then we're going to move into a closer to and then we're going to end up and close-up because it's really intensity in this scene he says that would work but it's boring it's not good this is the way we do it and then he would tell me this and he started quizzing me over and over again I was pretty inexperienced when I did Mississippi Burning I didn't realize that people don't do that and this master filmmaker gave me this benefit of his lifetime in a completely unrestricted manner and I remember I ran into him at Westwood at one point and I said Allen I never thanked you properly for what you did for me I never became a film director like he thought I was going to like I thought I was going to but I learned so much from you that I never would have learned from anyway he says oh stop it stop it go away go away go away nice you know that was nice but uh definitely one of your angels one of my angels and when I was in Paris California no Paris France my son was there and it was his birthday in Paris France and it for his birthday present he wanted me to do his laundry they have very few laundromats in Paris it's very declasse so I endeavored to do his laundry in Paris France and I'm walking with a giant arm load of dirty clothes and this Englishman comes up to me and it says excuse me yo Steven told us key and I got yes this is I'm a dear friend of Alan Parker he worked with him in Mississippi Burning he speaks fondly of you often and I wanted to tell you Alan sends his regards then I go thank you once again say thank you too sir Sir Alan at this point yeah but he was definitely here oh but Harold Ramis said this and now after he said that to me I didn't feel so badly about how difficult this business is yeah and the disappointments people feel and I'm never surprised when an angel kind of sticks a hand out and says here's here's something for you yeah that is actually a pretty great thing for for anyone listening or watching to take with them in in in life far beyond our little microcosm of show business speaking of angels yes and this might be the transition of the show Oh Sammy yes a little thing we like to call who tweeted Roley intro this is a little game that we played another one of the games that Jamie created for the show by the way remember what earlier before and I said I can't tell how long we're gonna be in there talking it's the amount of time if I tell you and then during the show I'll say can you believe we've been talking for oh you're kidding don't be frightened it's the opposite of me with the tube got my throat I just got that time back that quote sani please explain how the game works oh it's a wonderful game all right now who tweeted works as we talked about before all of these tweets were either written by Tyra Banks Paris Hilton or Justin Bieber okay and so I'm going to it's a series of eight tweets I'm gonna read a tweet and then you and Kevin are playing against each other you buzz in you buzz in by saying your own name and then whichever when he rings in first I'll point to you and I'm gonna have three seconds to tell me whether you think it's Tyra Paris or Bieber okay you're buzzing you get it right you get yourself five points cuz I didn't get it wrong you're gonna lose three no consequence that's right that's right we punish ignorance to this game you could I hope you wash your car no no but here's what happens if you don't win yeah you are not going to win this twenty u.s. stansson dollars the dancing Andrew Jackson the one I gave to the monk there it is okay are you ready do you know the rules yes sir here we are who tweeted tweet number one good luck wow what an incredible premiere night I feel so proud all my East Coast friends came to my party to support me tonight I am so happy Justin Bieber I'm sorry No oh that's okay we're beginning and negative territory I was gonna say Tyra it would have been Paris no opening night I know that's that I told you these are all tough you know I'm chastened tweet number two uh-huh dreams so damn big that people laugh in your face then prove them all wrong my hero Richard Branson does just that I hope to follow you Kevin Tyra that is correct oh oh you know I like to start over no I just want to bring up yes that you did not read that with a kind of normal inflection no he's not doing lines you could do that the throw us off yeah guys cuz I was gonna go Tyra but you you had such a bright sister thing goes the problem is if I wanted to read that like I felt it was with the intent that it was written to be dreams so damn big there people laughing if I wanted to do that he's singing crows see that's a giveaway okay and if I wanted to read the he's gonna have a consistency though if I wanted the good news they're all gonna be big right they're all being over the top okay and the parity no interpretation I'm already like so in the hole oh no you're fine here we go here we go you're no no we're out okay tweet number three yeah today was my high school reunion amazing day with old friends towba beeper oh sorry no too young to have a high school reunion way to you so matter with you we had the school for Performing Arts oh yeah middle school read you think I'm suck at this you're fine by the way this is no test of life yeah okay I just see negative six to five don't it don't sweat it that was Tyra Tyra I know Hiero I know dude will you go say talk no no right you just were smarter there play poker you're smart enough to know window-hole but when it hold on these are hard they're not easy you're not they shouldn't be easy Jamie goes through and this is why I always varied two pokers alright she's a bit big on the two kings you should come to our game just saying to number four yeah everyone out there having bbq's and having a good time enjoy the weekend hashtag good times I read that with the punctuation that was in there which is zero everyone out there having bbq's and having a good time enjoy the weekend hashtag good times turbo Bieber that is correct there we go nice many times called that you're getting off the schnide yeah we are you know you are off the schnide sir there we go tweet number five mmm feel it on my way to the NBC experience store at Rockefeller Plaza be there at 12:30 p.m. to meet my fans see you all soon Kevin Paris that is correct there's a lot of words there's twisting turns to the skin yeah tiny numbers stay tuned our six don't let others define you check out my latest blog and tell me how you were busting out of that box turbot Tyra that is correct oh he's on track Oh i watch her back into plus colorado religiously Oh back in the plus column okay nicely done tray number seven thank you all again for all the amazing compliments you have no idea how much they mean to me love you all so much Kevin beaver oh sorry no cuz now we have a real game okay so I'm plus and we're plus four that's right and what question number is this this is about to be tweet number eight the eighth and final tweet if you get this correct you win if you buzz in and get it wrong you are tied to go into a tiebreaker this is like WrestleMania is exciting open-heart surgery is not tweet number the marbles all the marbles I love my fans with all my heart that isn't going to ever change there will be times when I want privacy Kevin Paris toboe Bieber unfortunately because Kevin rang in first we are tied I was wrong was Bieber so I was wrong you were wrong minus three which puts me at plus four it is a tie game we're talking going into a tiebreaker this is it good luck this is luck the author of the tweet prior to that was I guess you didn't oh I'm so sorry tweet number seven uh thank you for all the amazing compliments you have no idea that was Paris Paris so sorry okay sorry guys alright guys how's it now that's right Christopher Walken next great he kept yeah there you go hey New York tune in to channel 4 at double you wouldn't be seeing 8:30 a.m. I'll be on live another NBC thing Kevin Tyra ladies and gentlemen the winner mr. Stevenson final answer we have our winner great play wait a minute you were in that the hard way this does come back around from Thailand certain how about it it is the full circle of money life of money life and the Buddha coming back to Gua and thank goodness it could happen only here only here America live on the anonymous chat show capo valiant effort sir thank you I am family let's hear it everybody thank you thank you Sammy all right back into our world they're asking these questions live from the interwebs this one from Facebook Aaron Fuller has a tweet v 4u q david koechner it's okay he's saying tweet v forever now it's another game we like to play the tweet 5 is 5 questions yep rapid-fire a Coke or Pepsi no correct answer just this or that okay but they're designed for you okay by the fans Eric Bogosian or Spalding Gray Eric Bogosian Sam Shepard or David Mehmet David Mamet Buddy Holly Roy Overson Roy David Burns Stevie Ray Vaughan all right a little bit of a Sophie's Choice yeah I got yet I have to go with David an Alan Smithee film burn Hollywood burn or oral surgery without anesthesia it's a great quest see they know you and your eye sees one no Alan Smithee film no boy so would you mind giving us a little Christopher Walken because we're such big fans here and you've had the honor of working with the man I am I work with them on country bears right honey did you hear country walls up fur country bears they were kind of mechanical bears but they also had people in them but if the bear went screwy you know it was like really screwed really so anyway I Chris Christopher was only there for I think one or two days and I was going up to him to tell him how much I enjoyed him and all of his work you know and he was going up and he had this Dixie cup you know full of something interesting and and and I couldn't excuse me mister walk and he was going in to do a say excuse me I didn't want to bother you now I just wanted to tell you how much I loved you oh where did you get this because you have to do the voice so he goes oh it's vodka that was my change with he never acknowledged that I appreciated his performance Woods vodka that was my only where did you get the you asked him and he said oh it's it's vodka so he brought it himself they don't have that a crap service no no it's hard to find a crafter you know the Bears the low B country bears okay well this was a movie of course after you know based off of the attraction at Disneyland which is no longer there but it still does any world yes but I love I love the country bears yeah what's traction this movie was really used the characters from the attraction which I did not appreciate hardcore fan I think there was a big al but that was about it was her big oh but they did not use Gomer when door Henry sons of you know let me tell you it was a phenomenal and amazing experience if you've been in like movies that don't do well I guess it refers to the first question you'd be in movies that like tank it's sharp service but they're still amazing things like the little bear in that was a who who was the little bear in that and she was about four foot like eight or something like if she's little so this is what she had to do to rehearse first thing she did is she comes in with the bear suit on not the head because once the head goes on you have two minutes of oxygen so she does she does that's not pressure at all he has to eat her dinner then she gets up and jumps onto a skateboard and skateboards out the front door does a drop of like eight steps and lands on the board at the bottom so she does she has to feel where her dinner is because she can't look because the bear don't have eyes she has to feel where the peas are she has to go over and count the steps with her body of where the skateboard is and it's here and I'm going to jump on it here and then do my foot go out the front door and the steps here then she did it with a bandanna around her eyes no good where she could take the bandana off at any time and she ate jumped on the skateboard with the bandana did the jump with the bandana and then they go is everybody ready oh my god then they put the head on two minutes of oxygen and they start the they start the cameras rolling first they screw it on you know like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Kirk Douglas you know hello you're here and that has motors in there that make the eyes go goes and she's like eat then she gets a pass to jump on the skateboard out the front door has to go down with the head on on and then as soon as she gets to the bottom and she stuck the skateboard she gets the bottom and then she jumps off and they are unscrewing that thing what it takes is you have to do like that not that many no I wouldn't think no but but I mean they're brilliant brilliant people that worked on that movie that they're do amazing things the the people who made the Bears were brilliant you know it just turned out that we opened the same day Austin Powers did Goldmember and yeah they got all them yeah I said but you're right there are those experience and you all carry the experience my whole life from a technical standpoint also that you're sort of in awe of these people and what they do amazing you're going to have to come back because I'm starting to feel bad keeping you here going on two hours oh there's so much more to talk about but people should tune in let's tell them we've been running lower thirds to tell people where they can find you you're at name on the Twitter as well as where they can get the Stephen Tobolowsky birthday party that's stvp movie.com right and the files are at Tobolowsky files.com on itunes yets on itunes and different places yes for the podcast yeah I we didn't get to the Woody Allen and we didn't go far enough another Chris Nolan but clearly these were amazing experiences for you yeah and you've got so many more ahead of you I can't wait to follow along as such a fan oh and so very very grateful that you might be I say I'm I'm just living for that next moment yeah I love it well thanks for sharing these thank-you moments with us thank you sir honestly and congratulations on your big win today and who tweeted you know I'm gonna spend this $20.00 whatever you do do not give it to a monkey it's way too much for them they don't know how to deal with it they'll beat you senseless honestly thank you truly my pleasure now if you wouldn't mind sitting there uncomfortably while I wrap up to the fine folks at home oh they're reminding me that I almost let you off the hook with your your Larry King game ah you were happy about that I've done this now a few weeks the road they're yelling at me saying you you've got to stop this is a long-standing tradition okay let's go over the rules again bad Larry King impressions so no pressure okay no pressure I want an awful one if it's good I'm gonna be angry no it's okay not good at impressions and then there's that moment where Larry shares something about himself too yeah yeah we don't want to know and then you just go to the phones of the name of the city should be funny sounding okay that's okay there's your camera when you're ready okay I can't do the Hunchback you don't have it would whatever comes through hob 1958 I was a cub reporter for sports column went to the Dallas Spurs to a team went to see want uh Gerson he was a left-hander fired heat all the time and he asked me if I was a hanger or Packer I had no idea what he was talking about because that phrase was not familiar with underway at that time Kankakee Illinois thank you that was fantastic that's going on the real oh yes that's a keeper all right now you can sit there uncomfortably while they rap please up for the folks at home thank you so much to my guest today one of the all-time greats and so very very thrilled that he finally was able to come by and and share some of his true life stories every syllable the truth and yet so very outrageous what a treat throughout the last hour 55 minutes Mike the majority of the crew anyways have been outside these hallowed walls I want to give thanks to the crew before we try to go to some videotape of what they've been up to I realized that so many people are doing the audio download and listening to the show and they don't see the credit roll at the end of the show and then there's no audio version of who I have to thank each and every damn week here we are 114 interviews into this thing today was 114 so in the room of course you've got the Sam the men Levine you've got of course Jamie Fox and dr. Chen on the outside you've heard these names Josh Negron one of our producers Emily Goodwin one of our producers J Mack or Jason McIntyre one of our producers our director Mike Rodman head of social media Layne Ewing stop by earlier Jennifer's ID on makeup who am i leaving out I'm sure forgetting someone I think I did all right this time all right well I want to thank all them and we'll try to do so from now on because I just actually dawned on me and it only took two years and two months for me to realize something was wrong all right so now I wonder what has the crew been up to the last hour 56 minutes if only there were some sort of video evidence and sound every time okay just I'm trained to a show say we're not doing bleep here focus on j-mac No life is not a musical no you want to say go sing outside finally so unfair that she finally got her moment in the Sun and somehow she would bloat up you know what you know anything goodness I think it was the rapture it was the rapture it goes the rapture oh my girl after she went to a better place but she was taken she was such I'm saying it's good that's a good one that's it sucking out J magnate was not Wiley coyote this time I don't know oh poor Emily that's how I threw you off that's how they threw exactly they figure you're doing a great job what

Channel: kevinpollakschatshow

Views: 25,183

Rating: 4.8378377 out of 5

Keywords: kevin pollak, stephen tobolowsky, prolific actor

Id: ajy_kegdxds

Length: 114min 36sec (6876 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 06 2011