Kol Nidre Services (Erev Yom Kippur 5782)

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh um oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh foreign oh oh mmm oh oh oh hmm oh yom kippur is a day we taste death wearing the white of the kittle our death clothes preparing for our vidue our confessions we are meant to feel our mortality as we invite vicki lander tally light and torah oglander to come and light our candles we recognize the loss of their beloveds jack oglander aaliyah light and vicky's father edlander all of blessed memory jack was a past president of this congregation who taught us many lessons about integrity and dignity and unconditional love jack knew what was real and lived with grace in that space jack also taught us about the importance of the pause he taught us that there are times to take a breath and think before we speak take time before we respond you see in the pause seeds are planted seeds that take time the flowers we've been enjoying this year were planted last season by vicky and jack these holy day lights are for those who have planted seeds for us and trusted us to grow them even if they could not stay in this world with us they are also for those who died victims of hate and horror and holocaust those who had their seeds of a future stolen from them and are counting on us to grow them in resistance and these lights are for those who have given us this moment to pause and remember not just their deaths but the gifts of their lives that when this day is over we will be ready to live more fully love more fiercely because we remember them she oh oh um we can read together on page 97 for transgressions against god the day of atonement atones but for transgressions of one human being against another the day of atonement does not atone until we have made peace one with the other bishop in the sight of the holy one and before this congregation no matter how far some of us may have transgressed by departing from our highest selves we pray on this night as one on this night as the gates of repentance the gates of chuva open for us when my friend the reverend tracy blackman says susan i feel you i know she gets it she gets me she understands that in my pain and my doubt in my grief and in yours i want to be a good person a better person each day in our personal grief and in the collective the grief we all feel in this post-911 world a world of pandemic and politics that cause so many so much pain resistance is felt in showing up and in acts of loving kindness i feel you my dear friends i feel you family i feel you beloved community i feel you as we try so hard to hold on to what is dear and at the same time be able to accept the change that comes with living the one thing we can count on is the inevitable change that comes with time passing i feel you as these days of odd dare us to still believe that we can tip the scales of righteousness over injustice of truth over illusion and dis from disinformation and big lies of love over those who hate us without even knowing us on this night of all nights we should be together to renew our resolve to tip the scales for good in this new year on this night of all nights we are meant to feel the compassion of our collective community as we see familiar faces and welcome new ones with radical hospitality into our sukhot shalom our shelter of peace on this night of all nights we need to feel each other's presence to have the strength and the courage to seek forgiveness for our own sins as well as take on the sins of all humanity on this night of all nights our sanctuaries are meant to be full with those of us who feel the call of tradition the connection to community and the promise that this spiritual practice will deliver us into a better year when i decided that this would be my last high holy days to stand before you i imagined telling this to you on this night of all nights when i could see your faces though we've been in so many locations over these 37 years there are those of you i have come to count on being here on cole nadre i miss you on this night of all nights i'm not retiring i still have a lot to do i'm not even becoming emeritus quite yet but i am going to begin over these next few months to shift in my responsibilities like so many of my baby boomer generation i feel that it's time to make more space for the next generations and to use what i have learned to carve out a new chapter to be clear i'm not retiring quite yet i'm still here for life cycle events and an occasional class or service jim and i have loved collaborating on the psalms and other projects and we hope to offer more to this community that has quite remarkably grown online and in person through this pandemic i am shifting in my responsibilities but i'll say it again i'm not yet retiring and as i deliver this my last cole nidre message i find myself remembering my very first one in my third and fourth years of the five-year rabbinical school program that jim and i went through together i had the privilege of serving temple binet israel of jackson tennessee it was 1979 and they did not want a woman in fact a few years before they were supposed to get the very first woman rabbi rabbi sally prisand was supposed to be their student rabbi but they sent a message back to the college and they said we'd rather have no one than that woman that year the seminary sent a man and when they tried the same shenanigans with me the school said take her or you won't get anyone i went bracing for a disaster but that wonderful congregation took me into their homes and their hearts and they became wonderful teachers and friends even until today but for that first high holidays over 40 years ago i was prepared for rosh hashanah but i can admit it now i did not have a sermon for cole nidree i had no thoughtful reflection to honor this community that had been gathering since the 1850s to be a jewish presence for so many who were the only jews in their small tennessee towns and i went to sleep the night before thinking that for the first time in 130 years this congregation would have a rabbi who would have nothing to say for yom kippur and that night i dreamt a new version of an old hasidic tale the old hasidic tale tells the story of the baal shem tov when the rabbi saw misfortune threatening the jews he would go to a secret place in the forest light a fire and say a special prayer and the crisis would be averted subsequent subsequent rabbis confronted similar crises in the same way but one forgot the prayer another forgot how to light the fire another forgot the location of the secret place in the forest the rabbis did what they could remember and the misfortunes were overcome but finally a terrible crisis came to a rabbi many many generations later he sat with his head in his hands and lamented i am unable to light the fire i don't know the prayer i can't even find my way to the place in the forest all i can do is tell the story and this must be sufficient the hasidic tale claims that telling the story was enough but not in my dream in my dream the story grew feet and we found our way back to the secret place in the forest we lit the fires that helped others find us there fires of light and inspiration fires of passion and purpose we remembered the prayers not wrote prayers but prayers of longing and desire that we dared to name prayers for healing that would keep our hearts open in the most hopeless of times and prayers that we would sing and swing prayers we could dance to we made sure that there was room for everyone and that everyone felt welcome and respected every child saw others who looked like them and the elders saw every child as their own misfortunes came but the loving arms of the community carried us through the valleys of the shadows and we learned to sit with our sadness and make space for simcha for joy and the stories they told themselves as we cycled through the holy days and we felt how each one was connected to the next and from new year to new year we found we would never be in the same place for our stories would grow and we would be better and kinder and more compassionate and forgiving each year in my dream it was not enough to tell the story we became the story our souls were on fire and our practice had purpose and passion we dared to believe that our prayers had the power to protect and provide a path to healing if not always for the body surely for the spirit and that was my message to the dear people of jackson tennessee 44 years ago that it was no longer enough to tell the stories we had to find our way back to the secret place in the forest and light the fires of faith and offer the prayers that would get us up out of our seats to sing and dance and resist despair and be held by our tradition and never be afraid to reinvent ourselves again and again with something new and be ready for the next big thing for we are a people that have had many secret places many prayers poetry song and different ways to dance and more stories than stars in the heavens and i am so grateful for the almost 40 years that i have been part of this story with you and i'm not done i have some things that i still want to do i want to work with maxine and charlene and the teachers at our early childhood center the nest who are building a feminist curriculum with the principles of critical race theory guiding us if we are going to change the world it will be through the children who know better our children who know in their dna that racism is wrong and that to change it we need to be able to see and change the structures and institutions that keep racism alive at all costs i'll also be working with the ashrae foundation crc's new non-profit for social justice many of you know that sue mccullum and her sons michael and brian epstein gave us a very generous gift and a huge challenge to create a non-profit to deepen our social justice work at crc we are calling it the ashrae foundation named for the first word of the first psalm it's usually translated as happy ashrae haish happy is the person but no another meaning for ashrae is forward our work will be to engage our talented members and community to alleviate suffering and like so many of the urban churches we work with to use our non-profit to sit at interfaith and community justice tables to be able to receive funding and support that are not always open to religious institutions ashrae will allow us to expand our reach beyond the jewish and the religious communities to do the work of tikkun the work of repair that we are called to do by our very core values we are calling it ashrae forward because this is our hope to keep moving forward building bridges with our relationships and our resources across all the divides and divisions that are destroying our dreams with the trust in the relationships that we have established over these years together and the friendships we have formed we have an opportunity at this moment to stir up some good trouble and ashrae will also help us have the structure to listen because it's time to listen to other people's hurts it's time for more understanding it's time to grow the community of people who listen to each other's heartaches and heart hopes and find ways to help each other as we struggle with this pandemic and other challenges to living that are with us every day i know that there are people on the extremes who will never listen who are dangerous fanatics but i also know that there are many more in the middle who have their own stories their own reasons for thinking and acting as they do and when we listen to each other we do find that we are willing to make room for the common good and put self-interest aside to be part of something that is higher and holier it's time for modeling cooperation over competition for our children in this post-9 11 world children and are now our pandemic children have grown up in a world that desperately needs us to turn grief and loss and fear for their very lives into courageous and thoughtful conversations that will build bridges they need us to stop making excuses for inexcusable acts of terror toward each other and our planet and understand that we have the tools to lead to creative solutions that lessen the violence and grow the middle and tip the scales toward reconciliation it's time to make room for the kind of truth that leads to reconciliation to save their future so i may be shifting in my responsibilities like so many of my generation and yes life is change sometimes life brings the most awful of change the kind of change that changes us makes it hard for us to live every day but i am not and we are not done yet and on this call nadre when we are called to take our vows seriously on this call nidre as we prepare to hear our own java polinsky play this melody to open us up to yom kippur our day of soul searching reflection and yearning for meaning i pray that we let this col nidre prayer and service give us the next 24 hours to disconnect from the world around us so that when we return it will be with souls renewed and revived and with every sense so awakened that the whole world looks transformed looks possible looks like we can take it on and make a difference so settle in in a few moments java will take us on a journey through the cole nijre prayer her playing this ancient melody will lift us up out of the ordinary and remind us that we humans have the capacity to take the ordinary and raise it up to the level of the sacred and here is my call nidre vow to our children and grandchildren i feel you i feel your fear for your future for the future of our nation our world and our planet and i vow for as long as i'm able i will be here to remind you that we can still redeem the future your future i vow that i will help you remember that within you is the wisdom to do the right thing and to value and build conscious and compassionate community around you because we know that we can readjust to a more just world that may have less stuff but will have more soul a world where science will save us and learning will help us live together and love will guide us to do the right thing as we figure out what comes next a day at a time i vow that we will be there for you not giving up continuing to work for the common good and believing that in spite of everything the good in us will win and remember we are a people who jump in and participate in writing our stories we are not spectators and that the truths that you seek to guide you to be on the right side of history on the right side of the story are within you planted deep within and no one can take them from you take this vow with me dear friends beloved community from this yom kippur to the next that we will do our best to find our way back to the secret places of our longing of our believing like the baal shem tov did that we have the power to avert disaster that we can save the future promise me that with or without me you will still dare to light the fires of light and inspiration of passion and purpose and that our prayers of longing and desire will have such power that many will gather with us to sing and dance and defy the darkness and as we grow the good that we will continue to grow that we will continue to tell the sacred story of this congregation as we grow and change and have the courage and creativity to transform again and again that we may ever be a blessing for our children and our grandchildren for many generations to come from this day of atonement to the next may we reach it in peace we make these vows to turn from sin and wrongdoing to walk in the path of justice and right yet we know our weakness how prone we are to fail help us to keep these vows we have made with humility for we have come to seek pardon and forgiveness ah hmm hey um hmm so so so um hmm it's a privilege to invite our president natalie schatzman our treasurer david and our most spectacular head of our tikonolam committee josh goldman to open the ark and to stand with us and hold the taurus as we hear alan chant the words of the col nidre oh economy oh would ah m cool he m we read at the bottom of 98 together let all our vows and oaths all the promises we make and the obligations we incur to you oh god between this yom kippur and the next be no and void should we after honest effort find ourselves unable to fulfill them then may we be absolved of them knowingly or not the whole community of israel and all who live among us have sinned let us be forgiven as in your love you have been patient with this people from the time you let us out of egypt to the present day so in your great love may you forgive your people now and adonai said i have pardoned you in response to your plea baruch blessed is the source of all the presence that fills creation thank you for giving us life for sustaining our lives and for bringing us to this moment in time we call each other to prayer with the words of the baraku i life oh oh oh thank you rabbi susan there's a midrash that i always find so impactful this time of year it says if you harm someone a little bit let it be in your eyes as if you harm them a lot if you've done much for someone let it be in your eyes that you've done little for them however if they have done even a little good for you regard that as considerable this is yom kippur our day of days set apart for nothing but searching introspection and prayers for the strength we need to transform ourselves and the world if we can get to that difficult place of honest self-criticism around how we act and talk and demand for ourselves a higher ethical bar while at the same time having more compassion and forgiveness less judgment towards others then we can begin to feel through vulnerability and heightened sensitivity and awareness how utterly connected we are truly one with all creation we will discover that not one of us is alone that through all our differences we share a common heartbeat of love and breath and soul and so let us breathe and sing together the words of shama israel this time on yom kippur alone our tradition says out loud adding that second line baruch shame kavod mahuto leilam va'ed is hello is hello try i all night left i'm gonna do something a little different tonight instead of chanting after the shema in hebrew andrew and leslie are going to sing a setting of the english translation of the prayer from the torah it's a piece that was written by the late debbie friedman a songwriter who really transformed jewish music in so many ways but thou shalt love this song this prayer was the first that she wrote she was planning a summer camp service at a jewish camp and searching to do something a little different and came up with these chords for the english translation and in doing so she set off on a journey that we're all still part of to this day and so this is thou shalt love with all thy souls and with all of thy might and all these words which i command you on this day shall be in thy heart shall be in thy heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and thou shall speak of them is upon between my eyes and and upon thy days that he may remember and do all of my commandments amen we're on page 106. to sing our freedom song our song of liberation our protest song from the shore of the sea foreign oh foreign as you have redeemed jacob and saved him from arms stronger than his own so may you redeem all who are oppressed and persecuted been studying a little bit of celtic mythology and i wish i could say this concept i'm about to talk about with a gaelic accent but i wouldn't do it justice in celtic mythology they talk about thin places thin place is a place or a moment where the veil between heaven and earth is imperceptibly thin when you feel utterly alive and present connected to all a thin place being in that state according to the celts periodically gives us energy so when we come down to earth from that thin place we are recharged renewed revitalized so that we can be our most loving and compassionate selves and so my prayer tonight is that our work that we're going to do in these 24 hours of our day of at one minute day of atonement during these holy days this holy time may our work bring us to many of those thin places during this new year as we gather in our shelters of peace perhaps this this moment is one of those thin places take this soul living in my skin and bones take this soul and let it sink always pain before a child is born in peace shalom they knew you know there's some prayers that become songs and then there's some songs that become prayers everything's gonna be all right is the shelter of peace for you for those you love sukkot shalom in a thin place for all creation for everyone and everything that dwells on earth may this sacred and holy night be filled with so much peace so much shadow amen thanks rabbi randy so we move out of the shema and its blessings and we continue uh with tefillah towards the bottom of page 108. and so i want to share with you um a story that was once told of a great rabbi who was leading a prayer service within the congregation there was a young child sitting in the back who could barely read they didn't know any of the prayers but as the rabbi led the congregation the young child was so moved that they wanted to pray instead of the words of the prayers they began to recite the letters of the aleph bet the hebrew alphabet aleph bet gemma dalid they said adonai i don't know the words of the prayers i only know all of these letters please take these letters and arrange them into the right order to make the right words the rabbi heard the young child's words and stopped all the prayers for the entire congregation because of the simple words of this child the rabbi said all of our prayers will be heard in the highest reaches of heaven so as we move into te feuler for cole nidre each of us brings something special and something unique that is only our prayer i invite you to take these next few moments to explore the prayer that is within you as these ancient words and melodies encircle and guide us with me to so continue on the bottom of page 109 with zocreino may we be remembered oh is my me hello let oh take a moment for shalom rav for our prayer for peace with the audition for the high holy days besides may we be written in the book of life for goodness for blessing for love and for health shalom shalom m is oh confessional i claim my place part of the world story sacrificing every fine young old idea that i was given or i thought up myself i can't bear to hear another cliche or partial solution to perceived problems we've come undone we should all be in deep mourning for what we as a people fail to be and unless we look deep into the mirror and claim its renewal and repair we commit the future to the same failed set of ideas we inherited and neglected to fix we may be a noble minority it's not enough better more smarter what if we detached from the concept of sin and attached more to the notion of change for how we have failed to change or be changed or what we did not change what we did or what we did not do to clean up dignify repair reclaim for all that forgive us cleanse us embrace us lift us brace us we have what to do now may it be your will the god of all generations to forgive all our sins to pardon all our wrongdoings and to blot out our transgressions for all of these god of mercy forgive us pardon us grant us atonement avenue we have no deeds compassionate one answer us we have no deeds no deeds at all hollow vessels we are make us righteousness make us compassion make us peace i awakened this morning with nothing but my vessel i placed over my shoulders the yoke of service fill me up with stories and songs poems and acts of loving kindness acts of righteousness and save me oh oh oh oh oh oh oh me the 20th anniversary of september 11th was on shabbat chuva the shabbat between these holy days that demands a chuva teshuva is a response it is also a return and it is also a turning each year after 9 11 on our annual new york trip with the confirmation class we visited ground zero i watched it change each year from the awful rubble of the dust of so many dead and twisted metal to the beautiful pools of reflection where the makeshift names taped to chain-link fences were etched in stone each year we said kaddish learning the story of another survivor another first responder who joined our group to make sure that our students would know about the lives that were lost that day the lives that were changed that day one year about 10 years ago we visited what was being called the ground zero mosque this was to be a community center much like a jcca but for the muslim community of the lower of lower manhattan it was going to be run by muslim americans who wanted to give a holy gathering space to the community that had suffered so and so much like a jewish community center they really wanted a gift to make a gift to the community i wanted our students to know about this place to meet the people with such vision the people building bridges who welcomed us into their space and greeted us beautifully the kind of radical hospitality that we try to practice here you know i always give the students dollar bills to give for tzedakah as they journeyed the streets of new york on our trips and most of our kids gave their dollars to build the center truth be told i actually wanted to go not just because i wanted the kids to see this wonderful building this vision this wonderful act of hospitality but i also went as an act of resistance to those who opposed the center many groups opposed that center we actually had to walk through protesters to get there and the groups that opposed the center included our own anti-defamation league the adl the director of the center appreciated our gesture with all of her heart she said a group of jewish students she said could make all the difference on this shabbat shiva in an op-ed in the new york times the new director of the adl apologized for what they did ten years ago and said they were on the wrong side of history that they were wrong he made shuva on this shabbat shiva he reminded us to take allenu to take upon us the call to a holy response to a return to right and just paths he reminded us when we are wrong to say that we are sorry and turn in our ways oh foreign my i have a nice meal before the holy day nostalgia and taste soon after we begin with the prayers by late afternoon the next day i will have had enough prayers by then i will not have eaten in almost 24 hours then i might begin with visions enough prayers i will be thinking one prayer i will be left with by the time we get to remembering there are more prayers yet before the day concludes but for me this will be the last prayer of the day and the deepest three words in hebrew baruch three words in english we miss you i mean memory of good people this has our days the rocks oh blue foreign oh oh they we feel you we hope you can feel us our love our commitment and our desire to make this a better year let this day of reflection let this day of atonement lead to a time of at one minute when we feel each other so we leave you with a blessing we'll ask you to put your arms around each other wherever you are whoever you're with put your arms around yourself if you are on your own and we ask you to share this blessing of all the people whose lives you touch when the upper worlds in the lower worlds find each other it will be a secret generous wisdom and every individual will be known as a version of god an easy fast may you all be inscribed in the book of life for another year you

Channel: Central Reform Congregation

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Length: 119min 56sec (7196 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 15 2021