ALLISON: No. You know,
l don't have to tell them. lt's illegal for them
to fire me over it anyway, and l get three months
maternity leave if l stay, so l'm iust, you know,
not gonna tell them. That's a good plan.
Yeah. l like it. lt is a good plan until
her water breaks all over
Robert De Niro's shoes. (IN DEEP VOlCE) ''My shoes!
Hey, there's all this
baby goo on it.'' ''These shoes? On these shoes? ''Did you puke on my shoes?'' ''Did your water break
on my shoes?''
''Did you puke on my shoes?'' ALLISON: (LAUGHING)
Oh, my God. lsn't it weird, though,
when you have a kid
and all your dreams and hopes just go right out the window? What changed for you?
What went out the window?
What plans? You do everything
exactly the same. No, l mean, l love
what l'm doing. Like, say... Okay, say, you know,
before you're married
and have children, you wanna go live
in India for a year. You can do it.
But you can't do it
once you have a family. You wanna go live in India?
l don't wanna go
live in India. Do you want to go to India?
Go to India! Seriously,
go to India. What about you?
Do you want to go to India? l'm not going to India.
You can go to India. l get what he's talking about. You know, honestly, like,
when l found out about... l totally, like, l iust had this flash
of me, like in a white Ford Bronco, and l'm iust hauling ass
for Canada, man. The chopper's taping
the whole thing, and l just... l bust through the border
and l'm a free man! That's all l kept thinking, man. You know what l'm saying?
It was a flash! Wait. What do you mean?
What are you...
Don't look at me. We can talk
about our fears here.
PETE: It's not like he did it. l mean, honestly, like,
if Doc Brown screeched up
in front of you in the DeLorean. (IMITATES DOOR OPENING) Open the door, he's like, ''Hey, Allison, come on. l got
the car here. What do you wanna do?'' No part of your brain would have been,
like, ''You know, maybe we'll go back ''to that night and l would maybe
put a condom on Ben's dick.'' You never got that flash?
No. And l don't know
what you're talking about. ''Where we're going,
we don't need roads.'' BEN: (LAUGHING) Exactly.
You wouldn't do that? l don't know who Doc Brown is. What are you talking about? Doc Brown is the guy
who's Christopher Lloyd. He invented the DeLorean,
the time machine. He's the one who made
the time machine.
What? PETE: It's the time machine.
Everyone has
the time machine image. Hey. l have
a really good idea. Why don't the two of you
get into your time machine, go back in time
and fuck each other? Who needs a time machine? This is my time machine! l'm gonna throw you
in my DeLorean, gun it to '88. (IMITATING ENGINE REVVING) You are a funny motherfucker,
man. Jesus. How can you fight with him?
Look at his face.
l just want to kiss it. l think he's cute. l like the way you move. This is fun! We should
do this more, l think. l mean, this is, like,
the most fun l've had
in a really long time.
