KILLER\SAURUS Review

ah hello World Wide Web I'm burger Shadow the I personality who desperately need to get back on schedule but excuses aside it's time to take a look at killer Saurus a request for this year's dino sambar of course as the problem you might have noticed that there isn't a tireless ember this year however just because we're not getting dinosaur themed movies all December long doesn't mean I have to avoid them entirely and killer soros is our favorite kind of dinosaur a movie terrifyingly low budget with a story that kind of explains why dinosaurs are walking among us now but not really if you like your plots to actually it'll make sense simply put we get a group of scientists doing science II sciences however one thing leads to another and before you know what the project has turned into bringing dinosaurs back from extinction it turns out though that that's just the beginning of the terror that awaits I really can't get into too much more detail during the preliminary summary though because well there's enough plot in this movie to fill out about a sentence and a half so let's take a look at kill a source and drag this thing on as long as possible the movie opens to the completion of the huge experiment well that's one way to do it screw spending 90 minutes building up to something when you can just do it from the get-go introducing the lab assistant Kaylie played by Helen crevel and the head of the experiment professor Peterson played by Steve Dalton who has other things on his mind I want to know how the operation went pretty good I've ripped out their intestines played catch of the kidneys and jump the [ __ ] out of them with the medicine and myself my highest [ __ ] right now man surgeon simulator is awesome I went to note she's okay oh no she's [ __ ] dead I mean after you start tripping balls is really hard to put any kind of finesse into the power drill never mind it seems she's in themed Hospital as they have the patient but won't perform the operation until after the check clears so it's time for Peterson to make some money eventually secret labs performing cutting-edge experiments force fantastic scientific breakthroughs good on a freakin Tandy 1000 this super high-tech loading time is so ungodly slow it takes enough time for Amy played by Vicki Glover to talk with Caylee girl the girl seems that Caylee here has had direct input on how this experiment is being compiled today according to Amy this is because she's obviously Peterson's favorite no I was up in his control room that's not true I hold my control room ablaze how come it's because she's so skilled as a scientist it's not like the professor's just calling her up there at random to make sure she's still got boobies professor tits or gtfo honestly I'm still not sure why he needed her because it seems that the professor just one of the spouts of exposition about how much this operation costs and the truly fantastic things they're doing here that have never been accomplished before we are about to create a creature that hasn't walked this earth millions of years an honest-to-god unbiased journalist or American Tyrannosaurus Rex which is far more believable however it is a tad dangerous so Peterson here wants to make sure that Kaley witnesses in this historical moment in the relative safety of the control room I'm going back to the hangar Haylee okay okay I wasn't babying you I wasn't trying to keep you unnecessarily safe it's just that okay Lee if this works I want to celebrate with a lap dance well it's not like you can tell how well the experiment went from the control room anyway considering while they have a super expensive laser bioprinter thingamajig they cost seven hundred fifty thousand pounds each time it's turned on no one remember to spring for a gopro in the printing room so someone has to check on how it went which a me eagerly volunteers for be careful we don't know can you give anyone else a chance to shine [ __ ] I got through college with honors on my knees you better worry about your job security once I get my tongue in the professor's ass thus she smacks the button for the big [ __ ] garage door and slaps on a gas mask because um evidently toxic chemicals in the air only matter when you get within five feet of their source however that's the least of her worries she came face-to-face with the terror yeah best Melillo budget he can't really spring for a proper head so let's just stick a mannequin head or some [ __ ] into a gas mask that's close enough throw a wig on there forgot the stage blood didn't we ah so she's [ __ ] dead oh and she's [ __ ] dead too the lady in the hospital just got a call might have been important to tell the guy she was dying five minutes ago he might have been able to put on the MasterCard but nevermind that the crisis is here so let's stop this and just go to the opening credits Mark Hamill oh oh wait ice with a C not a K no no no what the hell is he doing oh now he was all the guys in the background pretending to poke buttons then well the [ __ ] is he done alien covenant he's working Oh oh no no no no hey alien convent well that confusion out of the way ish we see another angle of the scene we just saw but it's cool it's just a flashback nightmare by Kaylee who wakes her boyfriend Jed played by Kenton Hall Jesus it's been three months you've gotta talk to somebody I can't Jed I signed a nondisclosure agreement so if she talks massive legal problems that's a pretty good reason not to say anything after just three months and only having suffered some recurring nightmares doesn't mean he can't talk to me about it non-disclosure agreement you mean she can't talk to anyone who doesn't already know that's exactly what it means you're a journalist you give away secrets for a living yeah it's movies very damn focused on prehistoric creatures as his strategy of getting a story from her by telling her she needs to get it off her chest goes nowhere he changes tactics are talking about how she never got her last paycheck and there's lawsuits to be won against such an irresponsible employer hearing she doesn't want to sue he finally breaks through the ice by convincing her to go back there and get it off her chest by talking with her employer about it but you know bring him in tow to cuz he wants to check the place out we're going right no cameras no cameras it's okay Jed knows if it ain't a DSLR it really doesn't count unsurprisingly he says he wants to help but he actually is trying to get a great story for his tabloid you know Michelle Obama having a penis is actually the more believable story on that page how the hell is Chelsea Clinton gonna run for president in the year that they don't have a presidential election the story promises to be so big though he calls up the Harold and his correspondent Tom Delaney played by Steve Lawson thing is he's heard Jed's tales before and isn't too enthused about this new talk about ambiguous unknown story that's gotta be big because reasons but he's talked B he is what's called evidence like wall I mean I I can say it louder I'll tell them if they don't believe me at our monster what else you want interestingly enough for a super top-secret massively expensive experimental operation it's not only housed in an unassuming warehouse but the security is pretty [ __ ] no guards a keypad and an intercom as they change the passcode that means the two of them have no choice but to figure out how to press a button and talk before it's too late [Music] professor Peter said it's um it's uh the professor pizza man that's not going to work it's bacon and olives I'm surprisingly Peterson has no clue who this [ __ ] nugget is and doesn't care to have him interrupt his regularly scheduled suicide however hearing Kaylee ask him to come in is enough to make him reconsider and bring her in with her friend who has no idea what he's doing here but fortunately Kaylee can guide him around I know he's building into money another professor intimately as well okay in all seriousness is just about no [ __ ] reason to think that she's romantically involved with man at all it just so happens that practically every other character she talks to can't stop imagining her [ __ ] him despite bringing him all the [ __ ] way inside instead of just leaving them at the door Kaylee thinks that she can trust him to just hang back by the last door and not come in while she chats with Peterson unsurprisingly he refuses to stay back and winds up in the room with the two of them anyway making sure this psychologically healing heart-to-heart can be as awkward as possible as he keeps interrupting them you say I overreacted no I three deaths Kaylee what it also helps a Peterson has no idea how to not say anything incriminating around people that you don't know if you can trust yet you did what you had to to keep the project funded what project heard of bioprinting mr. Bailey I mean when he got a squirrely looking guy who just keeps asking questions about your top-secret research why wouldn't you just blurt it all out for the whole world to hear know that I guess I mean it wouldn't really matter too much for who's gonna go with plan a this begins Peterson's long story about how far along bioprinting has come you see it's an amazing medical technology that one day may be able to print people new hearts lungs livers or even entire limbs no Peterson already used it quite effectively after an accident of his own Jesus he 3d printed yourself new fingers that was my first successful test and despite this being an amazing medical breakthrough that's worth as tons of money already still has you know some problems there's an experimenting with stem cells illegal embryonic stem cells not induced pluripotent stem cells or several other techniques to get stem cell-like benefits without actually having to harvest human embryos but hospitals gave no [ __ ] for a cure to dismemberment and instead took a contract to 3d print a [ __ ] t-rex which Jed can take a look at if he likes it's been enamels and three months behind that shutter I can't believe for one moment it survived do there's only slightly longer than it took your computer to boot up Jed being the investigative clickbait peddler he is jumps at the chance to head down to the lab with Kaylee and check out the fresh bones of the creature they normally would only see really old bones of while Peterson stays behind in the control room however he gets a call from an old colleague Andrews played by Julian boot we had a successful build this is fantastic when were you gonna tell us judging by his desire to fellate a Colts never mind this exposition let's go back to the two down in lab where Kaylie explains there's sulfur dioxide everywhere and promptly remove our gas masks anyway what's that don't it's not for publication alright it's for personal use so while Jed betrays Kaylee Andrew chastises Peterson for not continuing with the research just because three people died now two of them weren't even named so fuck'em look I'm coming down there no no no I want to see all the data that you have for tier two we could discuss your financial irregularities as well financial irregularities firing everyone and not conducting experiment sounds like a way to save you money that's coming later though first we got to go back to jet here who discovers a disembodied arm in the chamber unless the two others sit him down to explain that they whipped up a t-rex but their reasoning behind moving from medical transplants to [ __ ] dinosaurs was sound before we could move to the human trials a change in the law meant that stem-cell research was impossible thanks when I mentioning that all the stem-cell research she did took place before it became illegal making me looking up all the ways that you could do it now without using embryonic stem cells completely pointless except for now the fact I know there's ways you could do it without using embryonic stem cells make me wonder why the hell you didn't just do that instead of moving on to [ __ ] dinosaurs the professor goes on to say the choice is more about how to make the technology profitable because hey who wouldn't pay to gawk at a bio technologically generated monstrosity what an incredible educational addition to any zoo or theme park but sadly the lawyers at Universal let us know that was a bit too close I'm afraid they also explained the trial and error of getting the thing to work and effectively all they did was 3d printed an alligator onto the shape of a t-rex but you know it's a thought that caps however Jed's insistence to be let down there and see it even better gets the best of him the biggest story in the world and it's gonna have pictures Jen Kaylee wait the guys had dead tattooed on his face ever since you've been on screen just let nature take its course hell even when he quickly taps a few buttons to shed and lock the doors this is somehow magically after Jed gets in the chamber to see what it is [Music] neglecting to remember this was running towards the gigantic bipedal carnivore ina all the rest of the movie they just been sad and around talk about [ __ ] not actually doing anything but you know sooner or later the monster is revealed in the monster movie that's the rex attacks and hangs up the man's phone seriously he's still alive the phone still works but it's hung up now this means they can concentrate on the important part how can it have survived I don't bloody care focus paleo diet Flintstones chewables what could it be we used alligator biology to fill in blanks on the creatures body structure oh it's a classic whoopsie animals are confusing excuse it goes because alligators hibernate for months without food and despite the Rex only having three people to sustain itself on and no [ __ ] water obviously it hiren ated in the darkened cold of the printing room that's all well and good but Jed's still down there with a dinosaur and his unreasonably skeptical editor so let's move on to what matters backstory and Exposition I've never actually told you why I started this project shits and giggles Wow let's discuss this over the next twenty minutes rather he has a picture in his desk okay Lee except it's not Kaley it's his daughter who was sick and [ __ ] but he hoped this research would mean a decent paycheck and being able to afford her exorbitant medical bills alas the day of the accident just so happened to be the day she died upping the body count of four Kaley wants to keep it from going any higher though so after much deliberation Petersen agrees to unlock the doors allowing her to rush down to save Jed you which doesn't work hey it's a horror movie the [ __ ] doesn't get to live with that in mind who happen to show up at Andrews along with a sergeant named sergeant played by Adam Collins the military man drops the bomb of the big theme park attraction well they built it for all those theme parks out in the desert full of people were trying to kill you said we were making this for the world to see to show what the research was capable of not entirely with the program is she peds I was trying to figure out how the hell she didn't know I mean how many of these dinosaur making movies end up going straight into military applications and it's gotta be well over 50% as such they have even more nefarious plans through a view to research ideally we want to combine its brutality strength and fear-inducing qualities with these skills and trainability of a traditional soldier why who who out there researching military applications sitting it like you know these drone strikes are nice and all but you don't make him even better if we had to send them a home and give them benefits after doing so and then fail to do so but yes it's getting off track so Andrews is taking over from here on out bringing Peterson to the control room while leaving Sargent behind to continue telling stories about war and disembowelling people with your bare hands as he it tend to do when you're alone with a lady however what's worse is that Andrews thinks Caylee would be the perfect test subject a print on top afford ear too clearly Peterson disagrees but well um [ __ ] happens shoot him Wow no wonder you avoided showing action all movie you're really not very good at it after Peterson accidentally starts the process wouldn't you know it the nameless character takes cover in the laser room which he is promptly locked inside staring down not the Rex but the big laser print Aeon thingy so they can print out a whole goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus but when it comes to making your little mini Rex parts you need to put that on top of a pre-existing human because why sense sex it would be nice at some point but who needs to make sense when you can just show that there's some kind of unspecified error and then show sergeant has transformed into Dino surgit who then goes crazy and attacks Andrews no [ __ ] idea that was due to the error or what has all the time they spent explaining [ __ ] in this movie has ended there for action see they must defeat Dino Sargent but oh no they're out of bullets I don't really think that counts as deus ex machina I mean it makes sense of the Rex was there I was personally wondering where the [ __ ] he was all seen the point of it all is now it's down to Peterson Kayleigh and the Rex and they must run the end - its abrupt but it's the ending credits so it counts right anyway that there was killer source and it is clearly a very low quality movie but it does have some pointers that might surprise you clearly this movie was made with next to no budget very few steps and about the same amount of actors most of the special effects are similarly bad with the exception of the t-rex the taranis or isn't amazing but all things considered it looks impressive for a movie with this kind of budget however we don't see very much of it be that for budgetary reasons although the director wasn't the best at showcasing action I'm not sure however the strength of the movie believe it or not is the story telling the vast majority of the movie is spent with the character sitting around chatting with each other about what's going on or what's happened in the past the acting is at least ok with most of the lines going to the better actors on set this helps in making a movie that actually has the potential to draw you in using nothing but words effectively kill a source is nice for fans of campfire stories not that it has any be usual trappings of those tales but it works under a similar method of storytelling get people together in a situation without the usual safeties of modern life and recall some tragedy or series of events gone awry however at the end of the day kill a source is still a movie not an audio book and the capabilities of the medium still feel wasted the whole thing is certainly below average low budget and only for cinephiles who have a taste for this kind of stuff but the storytelling inside the story works remarkably well and actually makes me interested in seeing what else these folks can do coming in at 2 dino soldier killer sergeants out of five I'm and as I've had or after five years of this [ __ ] my standard of qualities come way down but yeah who cares thank you all for watching Ivan Decker said oh and remember for your dinosaur growing team hire a biologist who actually checks the biology of the creatures you're using it'll save a lot of trouble down the road [Music] [Music] [Music] the Queen Mother was an alien that's JIT Bailey unsurprisingly Peterson has no clue who the what

Channel: Decker Shado

Views: 113,962

Keywords: Decker Shado, horror movie, movie review, Killer\Saurus, killersaurus, killer saurus, review (media genre), science fiction, low budget, b movie

Id: MYY4pWm_AjA

Length: 22min 0sec (1320 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 15 2016