Twilight Movie Review

[Applause] welcome to smash writing and now that we're growing we are taking request we've been taking requests it's just no one's going taking advantage of it till recently and somebody did quite a few times they were all over our comment sections for a little bit yes so per request we already here they are yeah per request it was to do the Twilight song now I'm not going to say like there are films that I I watch and I hate and then there's films that I never watched and still hate I watched the clips before this you said that out loud yes please tell me involves an ex-girlfriend no friends kids wanted to watch it that was house I guess that's more acceptable um that was the one where Ed and Ed and Jacob that would been so much better than that was when Jacob spooned uh Bella and like stared Edward in his eyes like oh what are you going to do I never watched these ones so let's let's not talk a hit but what we're going to do is we're going to review Twilight goad just looking at the covers already uh annoying as hell we open some Bella narrating never thought I'd never thought of how I'd die but doing so for a loved one seems good I thought I thought about how I was going to die at 16 I knew I'd Die being thrown by a tornado I was chasing after remember but remember what I text you when we were talking about that linez I'm like who [ __ ] says that and you're like well I thought about it I'm like and then you told me I'm like yeah but you also wanted to be a tornado chaser so it made sense and I was like I thought I was going to die on Morris when I was 16 because I wanted to be an astronaut but I'm not going to sit there well you know I think about death no but go on we see a deer being hunted and we meet up with Bella who's moving to Forks Washington from Phoenix to um I I don't know why she's she could have went on the road with her stepdad and Mom but instead she goes to forks with her dad and she mentions the constant rain you can make the screen as blue as you want I see sunshine I just because the clouds are up does not mean the sun is not coming through right they defined on vampire logic this is the first time any anyway don't pissed well we're going to get to that in the review okay get to the blot we uh we meet Billy Black and Jacob Black friends of her dads her and Jacob go back to when they were kids they bought her a truck and she took to it surprisingly well she does break a lot of trops here from Moody team she's not that Moody cuz normally they [ __ ] Shimon not everything she's actually very thankful for this truck and she's very thankful to being Fork she's not throwing fits that's the normally the way it goes so it is good to see her breaking some tropes here don't worry that'll be the last one that's the last positive thing I would have ran the one guy over kid over with the truck by the way he was like oh nice truck yeah you're going to be like the [Laughter] bumper right oh my God we meet Eric an overly friendly guy who wants to put her on the front page of the school paper she had to shoot that down it's like oh it's one of these schools weirdo groups like I get it that her dad's like the chief but like come on now like she ain't that [ __ ] popular all being very friendly in introductionary kind of deal whatever I I didn't go to that school but I'm sure there's some people out there but anyway during lunch we meet the Collins the one guy has a bag of eggs doesn't mean anything he he just has a bag of eggs with them uh they uh it is weird that they're all adopted and two of the adopted ones are dating or a couple right cuz you have Alice and bugy and you got the other two and then Edward's the only one in the group that's single yeah anyway uh I know Edward is the one everyone wants but is doesn't really they don't talk to anyone the Callin STI together then we get the classroom staring scene which is much more demented in the book now I didn't read the book cuz I I I I don't want to read the book uh thank you to Amanda the Jedi though on YouTube who did read the book and goes through it on her channel in that scene he wanted to kill everyone and drink her blood that's why he's so just fidgety staring at her is because he's was pressing the urge to kill her in that moment okay that been such a better scene though would it probably would be yes anyway um like this is really weird they dragged this out for a long time like no one would be interested after this this is like Red Flag City right and she's actually upset about this though like what's your problem but she doesn't um get the chance to confront him because after this he becomes a noow for about a week we see uh during the someone at aggression power plane is attacked and eliminated which is a re from the award believe it or not the dad gets sent up to check it takes Bella surp by surprise then she gets a sarcastic um she's surprised to hear that's an animal attack and she gets a sarcastic response and reply of this ain't Phoenix anymore Bella cuz you know Phoenix isn't the home of killerbeast scorpions rattlesnakes coyotes and jaguars there have been seven documented accounts of jaguar in Arizona since 1996 I didn't know there was jaguars in Arizona nether I just looked up I just want to see I knew there de animals in Arizona I like the rattles one was like jaguar I'm like excuse me yeah cuz you know Washington is just that that's where all the maulings happen is Washington Edward is I don't know what the statistics are it's a w Woody Cliff State yeah but same with Montana Oregon California Alaska Pennsylvania has got bears and [ __ ] like I saw there was a bear sighting in near Century 3 Mall yeah I was feeding that bear no I was about two blocks away from that bear I would have fed the bear if he come my way black bears are so nice anyway Edward is back in friendlier and ever which she me that she doesn't like things that are wet and cold she's he's said the line well why did you move to the rainiest state in the Continental Americas and that is not true no no no not even by long shot number one and the Continental it's Louisiana you want to guess where Washington Falls I looked it up probably 10 nope top five nope 20 nope 28 for shits and grins you want know where Pennsylvania is ranked 15th 21 fig technically we have more rainy days in Washington that's that's what I always heard cuz like everybody like cuz they were talking about like Seattle or something and I'm like I always heard like Seattle gets a more rainy days but we get more amount of rain type thing but I know that's City by City it it's funny too because later on they mentioned Florida and everything Florida's fifth Jesus Christ so we know statistics is still she could have met Stephanie could have met cloudy days in her book but so that's not what she meant but even then Washington is fifth in that category too or sixth I mean fifth if you throw out Alaska anyway he calls um she calls him out about his eyes changing and he makes a quick exit get used to those you'll be hearing that a lot and um she's outside and staring at him he's off in the way and the van comes spiraling in it's goes aside the Miss outcoming car and almost runs into or Edward gets in between the two and stops the Coan from t-boning her why did she go to the hospital though she wasn't hit by the van now the onlookers didn't know that but she knew that yeah that is true but uh there we meet up his adopted dad Dr Cen and there's a moment with that there you see him and the mom lecturing Edward about it and then uh Edward goes to talk to her and she's like she wants answers and he goes he's not going to give it to her and when she's not going to let it go he's like it doesn't matter no one's going to believe you anyways and Storm's off again you get used to that he storms off quite often he pouts a lot uh that night she wakes up to him and and uh she wakes up and he's in her room but when she turns the light on he's gone so she thinks it's just a dream it's not not it's not another guy one of the friend group said she's involved and tries to take her to prom she turns him down and telling him that she's got to go to Jacksonville and this pisses off Edward who grills her about it and she is not dealing with him anymore and the fact that he's always dodging her questions but he he wants her to answer his and they kind of continuously Clash throughout the rest of the day on this and uh she actually calls him out the next day on his mood swing cuz now he wants to be friends with her again and uh they she just hanging out for fun but she he won't go to the beach with her and we meet Jacob again yay Jacob Jesus Christ and we learned the story of his family and the Colin family it's a local legend that uh the Collins hunted on did something on their property what is it they the Collins were a descendant from the enemy Clan and there was a treaty reached between the two sides and that um they won't expose the Collins for what they are as long as the Collins stay off of their land to reservation which wouldn't make sense because if you Expos the Collins for what the Collins are the Colin could expose you for who you are and that's called blackmail it's like you want to use your missiles we'll use our missiles but didn't they also like contradict that whole thing too when they're talking like when the Collins came here because like Edward and Bella's talking and like when they go to his house she sees all the graduation capes and he explains like they go like City to city or something yeah so then how's that Legend true I don't know I I don't know like it like why would they double back to a town they were already in yeah unless like a hundred years I bu or something like that but but the fact that Jacob acknowledged like the folk Lord is them in the Collins yeah though basically the Callin family is not allowed on the reservation that's why he didn't go to the beach but uh a fisherman needs to dust and Bella starts looking up the legend herself because she's trying to figure out what's really going on here and we learned that Collins don't show up the school on nice days even though it's still [ __ ] light outside and uh anyway anyway uh Bella goes with her friends to go dress shopping for the prom just wa she's not going and what not because she wants to go to the bookstore where she's attacked by this group of guys and Edward steps in to save her and he's really pissed and he's like I heard what they're going to do I heard their thoughts which would piss you off I mean if you could hear their thoughts in that situation I'm willing to bet that's not going to have to leave you in a good mood I I believe it yeah yeah uh they go to dinner he's still not eating but um she he starts letting a little bit more that he can hear the thoughts of everyone except Bella's thoughts he cannot hear Bella's thoughts he's still not really answering any more questions than that but uh they heading home and uh they see the dads at the police station and everything and that's when she finds out about the ne the U another animal attack and it was her dad's friend this time around and then when she gets back it's time for books and Google and she lands on vampire and that's when she confronts him and he comes out about being a vampire and he takes her up the hill so he can sparkle like diamonds he needs to be out of the cloud bank is what he says there's no fog but they need to be out of the cloud Bank Sparkles like diamonds this is the skin of a killer you're going to believe the lies what what Li lies Hollywood doesn't make vampires out to be friendly never have and they also stick to the same script vampires don't come out in daylight little vampire maybe maybe but vampires don't come out in daylight at all he's the most dangerous predator that would be the yucha you put respect on the aa's name how dare you oh the families only eat his family only eats animals but there's something triggering about Bellis to him it's like heroin for him how would you know you didn't try it yet my goodness I I did love that line we they they don't eat drink people they drink animals to which they call themselves vegetarian more on that later I have another issue I just thought about but I'll let you finish this is where my notes start going off TR here there's a drunk tornado going on right now the [ __ ] I was uh while this was going on I had U Max velocity going on on my phone so I was tracking tornadoes and everything in the Midwest and there were tornadoes that were just going wherever the hell they wanted to go they weren't following a particular direction and his check called them drunk tornadoes oh our other Hobbies we learned that he was dying from The Spence fleu in 1918 that's how he was turned his families have different powers Al can see the future and uh he can read minds I don't know what the other ones I wasn't paying that much attention extra strengths um predicting the Futures well that's Alice yeah well don't they all have extra strength though they're all superpowered well and that's another thing that like R wrong is like these vampires all have a extra skill MH and like the brother is the extra extra strength skill uh how does that make sense it the whole additional skill doesn't make sense vampires were always just faster stronger it's like she wanted to give them all powers and then after the two she didn't know what to give them so she's like double shrink steroids like but these V vampires never had those those unique abilities where it's just one on uh just on one vampire like what are you doing and um she meets the fam got four more of these [ __ ] films yes uh she finally meets his family and everything and um that goes well ends a prick here it's like well the long if we put us in high school we can stay longer but two years for you is nothing so starting out at 18 and already being graduated there nothing to you so why date yourself no whatever whatever the tour ends up with them jumping along trees and him playing the piano you should go to Jacksonville statistically there are more rainy days as we discussed earlier we um and the jump scare jump scares her by coming in through her window and we learn that he's been watching her sleep for the last few months and then um they have share a kiss and uh they break it off before he gets too rough with her and they spend the night talking and everything and then she finally does fall asleep and he just stairs get a hobi get a yo-yo come on how different styles of yo-yo there are in the world it's amazing I had a giant one Jesus Christ then they have to meet the dad because U they're going to go play some Vampire baseball what is vampire baseball and it's interrupted by another rival group of three vampires showing up and one is hyperfocused on Bella and that's a problem they all they almost go at it and they have to be separated and it's a problem because when he's hyper focused on her is extra tracker his power is tracking that's a skill it's not a power but they have to get Bella out so her and Ed f a fight so she can demand to go back to Phoenix right then and there she's driving herself to Phoenix and breaks her dad's heart I wouldn't I'd forget your name in a heartbeat um it's all so she can get out and what they're going to do is um the a bunch of them are going to spread her scent everywhere while Alice and bugy get her to Phoenix and then Ed will go in a different direction because they think the tracker will follow Ed he's a skilled tracker he knows what you're going to do so of course to track your followers are the Phoenix cuz why wouldn't he know that you have the skill he uses the threat of a mother to get her to abandon the other two vampires to sneak off to the old alley Studio where he attacks her and this would be a lot better if you would given the vampires a weakness so she can defend herself it's called [ __ ] sunlight and have Independence and agency over her own path but since the vampires don't have a weakness all she can do is get her ass kicked till Edward shows up and it's too late and she gets bit and then the rest of the family arrive they are ripping him apart and creating a fire in the middle of the ballet studio while they suck the venom out of her and this is the part where I snapped I [ __ ] snapped in this movie cuz that's not how Venom Works doctor you cannot suck venom out of a body I even go on let me build upon that okay cuz this one caught me off too so he doesn't the colins don't believe in biting people cuz they don't want to turn people into vampires right well they have a hard time stopping once they bite you they have to resist their own orur just to continue to drink you why don't they just like after they get their fill like it like just suck the Venom back out then well they got their own Phil you'd be dead that's the I never heard of you curing the Venom curing a vampire by suing sucking Venom that's not that's something she put into this she put in the extra skills too it don't make no sense anyway she wakes up in the hospital the story was she fell down two flights of stairs and out of a window you want talk about the most I guess they they did like PR this by her tripping over her own feet all the time so did she yeah she tripped twice but is that like a lot to really could you imagine that the the odds of that falling down two flights of stairs and out of a window is like what whatever whatever whatever whatever she gets picked up for prom Jacob shows up prom to warn her that you know his dad tells her that she needs to break up with him because they're watching her now too and um it ends with the prom they're dancing and she wants to be a vampire right now but Ed talks her into waiting a little bit longer that's the movie H Victoria's watching all of this whatever off with like her new do to seek revenge now where do you want to start here okay hold on let let me start I am not throwing any shade on any of these actors actors no all of these actors went on to do great things and they all have this movie to than for that whether they want to or not so they did the best job bringing characters Stephanie Meyer wrote to life the problem is the writings not problem Stephanie Stephanie Meyer I'll say one more thing too A lot of people harp on the fact that she learns all of this from an internet research but why wouldn't you use the internet as your tool like I mean that made if the internet exists then you're going to look stuff up on the Internet well didn't Edward makes like don't you just Google it yeah but it's like I mean that was good there's an interesting story here right because you as Edward points out to you're just attracted to me because of vampiric charm that would have been interesting is like them having to deal with this situation it would have been interesting to watch Ed having to deal with his own base impulses Whenever Bella is around but he's always approaching Bella yeah cuz you you got those you need to stay away from me you stay away from me Bella stay away from me you you approach her every time you got your mood swing and sat there it's like we can't be friends you came to talk to me we can't can't be around each other you're coming towards me like where does this make sense at that's a if we wasn't in my office right now I would go and buy a Stephanie Meyer Twilight book and catch it on fire you had home filled Advantage right you have the Collins outnumber this rival pack like 703 you have a cabin in the woods you have number Advantage you have Home Advantage superiority why would you not just keep Bella at the cabin and bait them in and deal with them there home turf baby instead you sent two vampires out one is bugy and can't be around a human for more than 10 minutes and you separated your numbers why did you separate your numbers numbers like strategically that doesn't even make any sense and one of you buy was a general we learn later he was a confederate in Civil War or was he just around during the Civil War probably just around I think he was a soldier so it's like you had someone who knows strategic skills mhm but no let's do the complete opposite of let's separate our strength our power let's move her over here where no one else is and how do you preach like the one Al is it Alice you said that has a predict the future and then like I see the I can see the future Edward always turns around and goes that's subject to change you know it would have been better too is if you just made her a vampire here cuz then you could have had four movies of her trying to deal with this yeah okay words have meaning things have meaning I don't care that you add sparkly vampire vampire lord changes all the time do what you want they're not real vegetarian vegetarian Israel that means you don't harm living things to eat you eat PL you drink animal you have the nerve to like oh we kill animals so it's vegetarian of us no it been vegetarian of you drink from blood backs that is actually you have a doctor in the family you can get your blood bags like there's no tomorrow you know a big a big thing people focus on is her age being 17 you could have made her I don't know 19 on a break gear between high school and college and unsure of the path before her so you'd have kept all the moodiness with her too and that's something I kept like we we were texting about it last night and I was like this whole fetish of her suddenly becoming wanting to become a vampire and being with him forever this happens in like a six week [ __ ] period like I'm like don't give me that crap I I don't oh lust love whatever crap don't give me that it's cheesy that's what it is that's why half their dialogue that they are talking oh the is itous it's trous it's cheesy it's it's it's horrible in in every sense and form of this like I'm so glad we do bulk recording because I want to watch the [ __ ] out of these movies over the next like five weeks that we do this and be done with this series I made sure that I watched this one and then mask of the fantasm next yeah you need I WIP wipe the think of this movie off of Batman I had to take a shower this morning because of this all right it the f f tier good Lord liting is atrocious that's not how Venom works it's nothing but vegetarianism the only reason why I'm giving it these because I don't have nothing to say about bad about the actors well yeah I'm throwing all that out but that's why I'm not giving it enough so we're both giving it a shitty gr God I I'm like I'm so glad we do bulk recording cuz I just want to put this behind me already cuz it's going to be a long time watch by the time you post a final film we'll record it in June or something and it comes out in December I'm like thank God I don't remember this I don't want to remember this all right signing off until next time guys byebye [Music]

Channel: Smash Writing

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Id: sY3c6dEwcyY

Length: 27min 25sec (1645 seconds)

Published: Sun May 05 2024