Kids say the funniest things compilation Micheal Barrymore

and where are you from Manchester yeah you've got a girlfriend um no yeah I did but she moved on there she moved on me well why did she move on you I don't know how often did you go out with her about four days a week you went out four days a week and she's moved away yeah did that upset you um a little half and half earlier was what do you mean half and half um a bit upset me I never bet didn't yeah that's half and half what did you what did you like about it what was it that you liked about um the way she made me laugh on that and how did she make you laugh saying funny things yeah what sort of things did she used to say to you then uh I asked like we find life confusing um a half and half again yeah um I like playing but not um same-skinned yeah sort of half and half you'll ever get married and I don't know yet yeah well you may get married or you may not get married yeah yeah [Music] there's a police mum is he he just got shocked out of his way what work this place where did he yeah have some warm cold Polly told his boss about things about him that we're in true say no it's just me that it tells an awful lot of lies [Laughter] I'm not too sure we can hear this at all do would you would you like a shovel and what my dad dented the police car I couldn't even tell the bus [Applause] he's actually got a tick all of a sudden and there's something for all the women you better watch out for me dad because you every time he comes across a woman driving he tutors on at them oh this is nice for public relations isn't it [Music] why does your dad took the horn at the women drivers because he says this shouldn't be allowed on the road [Music] himself get off the road because every time I'm in the car he calls each woman a I have not want to stay in the force much longer once your lender's career I know that for sure yeah I got a feeling it might be from tonight yeah so what you're thinking to do when you grow up you're going to move out and leave mum and dad to it are you going to sort them out I mean something's got to be sorted I know I know they've got divorce once today what happened then did you sorted out the private life and got back together [Applause] before yeah today but they said that they would they they said that I was the happiest thing that ever came into the last name you got a boyfriend when you when you when you grow up are you going to get married yeah and thinner your mommy burned the dinner in the oven in the oven what what what was this in the microwave it's difficult to burn stuff in the microwave and she put her fingers on um and she burnt it yeah hey thank you yeah all right and when they're clapping you like it when they're clapping it's a nice sound okay [Music] now uh the last time I met you we found out that you'd been poorly it hadn't been very well have you yeah what we've got what's it called mom hello hello how are you fine fine are you where are you from um Portsmouth oh yeah you've come a long way today then how did you get here well I had to get on this bus have a quarter mile and then I had to get on the train and have 18 miles right and then what did you do when you got off the train I have to wait for this big pushcon and [Music] what a big Posh car well the car gets you here of course no that's nice though isn't it unless we come in a big Posh car and who's who's in the car with you um my mum and my dad yeah and my mum wears a Nook is the wrong way back so hold on a second are you the mother what what does your why does your mum wear the knickers the wrong way around because when they'll come in I'll see her knickers on I'll I can see the rest of the bottom oh she's put them on the wrong way round well did you tell Mommy your knickers were on the wrong way round if you've only been listening she goes oh no no and I'll say mum we're gonna see if I see if I said button then are they on the right way around today they're not so your mum looks but she's got a really nice outfit on I know you can't see her knickers she's got a skirt hiding on [Applause] well well I think she might be a little bit embarrassed in front of everybody that you know that is not the right thing to do yeah come on do you ever see Mummy with no knickers um yes a lot of times and I'll say mom have you got invisible knickers because I can't see your Lulu [Applause] oh dear you're brilliant you are I know okay hey Jamie how you doing can you see one thing you can say whatever you like Jamie this is this is your show not mine see before the shore you've promised me 20 minutes who hangs out that kind of guy has anybody got any idea what road we go down with this you're not part of any cult are you know what a cult is a what cult cult Ure no no [Applause] city outside that's what's outside does she mind you calling her old Sadie the the whole family is [Music] whatever you want Jimmy see him jellyfish who's that the yellow shop chili chili cornfield tree there where are you from dividing little countries now let's go Channel That's generally confirmary what's a telecom for the drink it's probably hello so he comes from Airdrie he seems chilly Charlie's I'm from Andrew [Applause] are you talking about your dad oh are you Charlie yeah are you from Airdrie yes man yeah um [Applause] thank you 350ps no loss for 350ps and she's got three towels and she comes out of the bath and there's an it's a little boy with 350ps and he said I'll give you the first 50p if you take off the first towel so she took off the first Tower and he said oh what are they and she said that my danglers so he gave her the first 50 people and he said I'll give you the second 50p if you um take off the second towel and and she said and he said oh what's that um and she said it's my button so he gave her the second 50p and said I'll give you the last 50p if you take off your last tell and he says oh what's that and she said it's my slot so we put the 50p in the shot and press the button and the dangle [Applause] all right how you doing Christopher hey all right yeah I thought yeah you do the okay where are you from Chris apology um my dad my mom my sister my sister my sister my sister my brother your sisters have you got I got I think it's four your brother yeah yeah okay your mum and dad got a lot of children haven't they yeah do your mum and dad love each other I don't know foreign I don't know where I am not in the family tree yeah the house family tree the house family tree your full Thin Line yeah to what I don't know okay on the fourth oldest yeah I know yeah that's fair enough but what should they do then if you're false in line what are you going to become yeah I'm surprised your dad's got any time for work yeah with all the children yeah do you know our babies are born tadpoles but little tadpoles yeah and that what turns into a baby turns into a baby it's like an alien fashion an alien how often has mummy been visited by the aliens um one six times six times obviously when dad's out yeah foreign Russell they're nice little things aren't they no not normally they don't they can be a little bit Snappy but well my mama's never barked oh isn't it no oh was it meowed [Applause] the uh you can't write it can you when you're sitting on your own sometimes what do you think about life what what do you think about it because she's a very intriguing boy there's no point in living is it you're only gonna die oh I think it's a good idea to live like as much best you can why why well just to enjoy it being a human being being you know being part of this world I mean you're part of this world aren't you yeah well I'm not too sure hello Dominic Hello nice to meet you where do you come from what do your mum and dad do what do they do Dominic too long okay and what'd I argue about sometimes they argue about Dad's going in bed with another woman what does your mum say well like when he comes in late you've been out with a woman yeah and what does your dad say my dad always says um when he's been out late over time yeah he was doing extra work he wasn't out on the town and then what does mum say about that I mean surely maybe he's right well they just kiss and makeup after that oh well that's nice what what do your mum and dad do for work um my mum works at two places a nursing home and my school at your school what does she do there uh she's a referral assistant a welfare assistant and your dad what does he do he does The Butchers but he's been sacked and so he's got spare time at home now is he he spends more time at the gym than what he doesn't be my mum why is he building himself up because because he just wanted to to think that he's stronger than her but he's not as you know he's not stronger than your mum because they both they both were once said to play fight and and and that went for her and the mom blocked her his hand and got him on the phone he said oh [Music] when mum and dad are in the bedroom have you ever heard them like fighting in there no but I've heard him I've been sick [Applause] there's so much you dogs [Applause] [Music] they sound like two dogs [Applause] getting bigger bigger about a minute oh dear well that's that's fine that's what's what moms and dads and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that is there no no not at all and your mum and dad very open about those sort of things with you there's one thing they don't tell me about what's that how you have sex foreign [Applause] [Applause] if you do a rainbow song yeah I can clap you when you do someone tomorrow tomorrow and tomorrow or next week or next week or next week okay well that's a good way of winding the interview up though okay so who who comes who does mama see most David vill Trevor Trevor and deep ER equal and when you're ready you say Trevor I am now ready and he will start okay that's Trevor there see him laughs you wanna Plano yeah it's it's he only found out last week he's on the piano I'm glad you reminded him because all the other men in the orchestra they said Trent no you're on the piano get off mine at home got a piano at home how is that Trevor [Applause]

Channel: jadey X

Views: 914,014

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Id: 9oGz1Ytq7Rc

Length: 20min 3sec (1203 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 25 2023