(male announcer)
As Don's week in the warehouse was wrapping up,
he decided it was time to come clean
with his employees. Actually, everybody, uh, I've got an announcement
to make. Don't nobody want to hear
your bull[bleep], newbie. - Okay.
- Don't nobody want to hear it! I think you will care
about this one, so gather around. I'm not actually
a new employee. You could say that again. You a waste of space,
as far as I'm concerned. Can't get nothing done on time. Like a--like a snail over here. I am actually president
of the company. You're on<i> Undercover Boss.</i> - What?
- The TV show, yeah. - What?
- Wow. In this week since I've been
working here amongst you, I got to hear each and every one
of your stories, just about, and, uh, I... You know I was
just playing, right? You know I--I was just
trying to lighten the mood in the workplace
and whatnot, you know. Thank you, Joseph. Bill. Buddy, you were telling me
that your car broke down, and it hasn't been
working right ever since. Well, I want to get you
a new Ford Explorer. Oh, my God.
Thank--thank you so much, Mark. That means so much to me. My whole family
died in one day. - Joseph.
- Thank you. Huge car crash.
Huge, man. We were having a family picnic,
and then this truck just came on through
and just killed everybody. It chopped
everybody's heads off. Eleanore, you were worried
that you were not going to be able to afford college
for your two--two boys, and I'm starting a college
fund for them both. Putting $10,000
in each one of them. This is amazing.
I'm so grateful. You know, I-I can't
make no family anymore 'cause my dick got chopped up
in the accident-- - Joseph, Joseph.
- And now I pee out the side. Sometimes I wake up
in the middle of the night. I just--
I start to pee. Right in my mouth. Oh, Joseph,
that's disgusting. Sometimes poop come out
the other side. - I don't even know why that--
- Joseph. My dick is in eight pieces. Joseph.
Okay, you know-- If you could
just give me a raise. I ain't asking for no kind
of scholarships or nothing. Okay, you know, Joseph,
I'm gonna get-- I'm gonna go--get
to you right now. Okay, dude, did I mention
I was a prostitute since the age of 17?
15--10? No, Joseph.
Joseph. 7--3--been a prostitute
since I was 3. Joseph, Joseph-- I was in--I was a prostitute
in the womb. Joseph. A dude put his peepee
in my--in my mama, and it got inside of me,
and then-- and then they gave me money. Joseph. Just please, man.
Just give me a raise. Joseph, you have been rude to me
since the moment I came here. Come on, man. I mean, I was playing
with you, dog. I knew you was the boss
the whole time, man. Look at this fake
ass mustache. Ow--that's my real mustache,
Joseph. That really hurt. You're fired. Get out of here. Can I stay and watch? Get out of here. I got a rare--
I got a rare condition that make me unlikable. No, you don't, Joseph. Lance? Lance, you been in the urinal
with me. You see me in the urinal. Lance, I am sorry,
but do not engage him. Tell him--tell him my dick
in three pieces. Joseph,
leave Lance alone. It's true, so they give me
a little bit of money. - No, it's not gonna happen.
- Can I have a-- Joseph? He did--he did-- Joseph, leave Norman
out of this. Who's Norman? - The foreman.
- Norman the foreman? That's his name. I know that. I work intimately with him. No, you don't, you're fired. All right.
Go on. All right, out the door
with you, Joseph. I am sorry about that. Is he gone? Okay, uh, Betty... When you told me
that your father passed away, it hit me because my father
passed away. But my dick got chopped up,
though! Joseph! My dick got chopped up. That is so
disrespectful, Joseph. What are you doing?
I thought you left, Joseph. Like gristle
off a Thanksgiving turkey. - You're lying, and I don't--
- I got a gristle dick. Joseph,
that's wildly inappropriate. Straight meat gristle. It's hanging out here
right here, right now. - You can't see it.
- Joseph! (announcer)
Coming up. We have so many siblings, and just to know that we
both share a familial bond and that there's nothing
that can take that away. But my dick got
chopped up, though. Joseph! Where--how did you...?
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Love Key and Peele.
Ok, I thought that was real for a while.
It’s pretty funny.