June 2018 CAYA, "Can You Hear Me Now?", Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley

[Music] hey what's up babe if here it's here no what's here what do you mean with you the thing I've been waiting for all months to get here and it was leaked in here you didn't hear me talking about it oh sorry Nica I have had a long day I have a lot on my mind I'm tired get in what what is it if the letter from Virginia Union would you please get to what do you want to say I got accepted I got it TIPA DeMuth to the diamond program I gotta let him know about tomorrow what you think wait look I know you excited about this but we talked about this you know how much money and some calls do you know that's gonna pull you away from family but you're as often as I've said you know what every time you never sacrifice for us I am not finished talking woman I am not finished talking why not end up I need to take an air out of your chest and calm down and let me finish speaking every time we go down this road I've made sacrifices yes you don't stop interrupting me woman why you yelling why am i yelling I ain't yelling I am tired this you never listen to what I'm saying you never sacrifice to this family you get it figured I'm gonna figure it out for yourself then and your mama [Applause] y'all help me thank God for Shaniqua she just help I want to talk about communicating and I want to be I want to give too Thank You Charlotte by the way that Israel she just got into the doctor ministry program at Virginia hearing so excited as she hones her skill and works on that next degree I want to give two caveats before we begin and move quickly tonight one is that there's a lot of Prayer about what to talk about when we say communicating and there's so many different relationships we bear with family and coworkers and friends ministries relationships and I thought the most relevant topic would be to talk about communicating in relationship particularly in dating in marriage engagement because that's the most relevant issue for many of us for those are here for the very first time kaya is different we are not typical worship service where there's a scripture and we try to find a shout we try to be practical relevant and transparent and so I want to talk a little bit about communicating in relationship romantic relationships in particular also want to give a caveat that I am NOT a communications expert in any way shape or form and no I am NOT standing here suggesting you I've read books been to classes but my desire to talk about this tonight guided by the Holy Spirit really comes from two places number one this year I celebrated my 20th year of pastoring and in 20 years thank you it's a long time to be doing something in 20 years of pastoring I've had numerous occasions to be involved with couples who come in and I don't necessarily say one counseling but they want to talk about some issues and I found that about 90% of them come into the office thinking they have one problem but they really have to many of them come in thinking that there's an issue that they're dealing with it there's something they want to get off their chest that there's a problem they need to fix but I really found out that it's not just an issue they're dealing with the problem is that they're not communicating about it that they're not able to hear each other they're not able to resolve it and that's really what Paul talks about in first Corinthians 14 that it seems like it's talking about speaking in tongues but really Paul is saying to the church if you can't communicate with people the good news of Jesus Christ in a way that they understand you might as well be talking in the air and many couples have come in and they've been talking in the air they're both speaking English but they're not communicating well and I bet to you that if you find any couple especially a marriage that's been around for a little bit that they've got some 10 20 30 years behind them you're not going to find a marriage that has not had issues you're gonna find a marriage where two people have learned to talk to each other because two grown people who are able to communicate should be able to work out just about any issue if they're able to communicate well the second reason I bring this up is that I've looked back over my own life and I realized that learning to communicate has been one of my growing edges in personal relationships although I try to communicate regularly in sermon and in Bible study I found that I had a lot of growth to do in communicating in relationships one on one that I have some bad habits with communicating mainly silent frustration that I was one who for the sake of peace would not raise the issues that were really perturbing me they were upsetting me and then all of a sudden there's an explosion right you want to know what makes a man walk away from 20 years of marriage at the drop of a dime is silent frustration been dealing with it dealing with the dealing with the dealing with it and then all of a sudden you can't deal with it anymore because you're not talking about it and I had to learn some real some real communication habits coming out of my divorce because I realized that part of the reason the marriage struggled was that was not a good communicator at home I didn't I didn't know how to raise issues correctly I'm and so because of that I become very reflective so I want to say a few things I'm not here suggesting that any of us are gonna be perfect communicators but I do believe that there's a way for us to get there I believe that there's a way for us to grow in how we communicate secondly I don't believe that every relationship is meant to work but I do believe that there are some communication hurdles that at least give you a better chance of figuring out can it really work or is this just a communication thing so my goal tonight is not to try to evaluate and tell you whether she's the one or he's the one but rather I'd like to put a mirror in front of your face to have you reflect over what type of communicator you are to understand the type of communicator the one you're interested loved or connected married to is and then try to figure out ways that we can grow in our communication skills and patterns and hope that when we leave this place we'll at least be challenged to do better so who put the slide so I want to begin I want to entitle tonight's listen can you hear me now from first corinthians 14 6 and 9 as I suggested to you we haven't we have a metaphor Kyah that we've used since day one and that is for those who remember it's the illustration of a man trying to push a refrigerator out of his door right that he's struggling to push the refrigerator off the door a friend comes by a friend gets on the other side and tries to help them after 30 minutes the refrigerator hasn't moved the friend says to the one who was getting the refrigerator out he says man I can't believe that the two of us can not get this refrigerator in the house and the guy on the other side says I was trying to get it out of the house so if you see the illustration there's one brother pushing this way and another brother has come up on the other side and it's pushing against it in relationship says typically what happens that we're trying to push something and grow something and make it happen but we always don't take enough time to figure out what's pushing against it what prevents it and so with communication I found out that there may be an issue we're trying to resolve there may be a problem we're trying to cuz find an answer to that we're working on but sometimes what's pushing against us is how we communicate to one another how we speak how we talk and all of us have been in at least one or two relationships where a conversation went really bad unnecessarily right and we're left trying to figure out why and issues that could have been resolved that could have easily been fixed wind up causing a split terminally in a relationship because they don't know how to communicate an inability to communicate always exacerbates an issue no matter how minor it may seem unless we know how to speak and talk and fix things the problems always gonna get worse and I'm living example of that and I think many of us probably have been down that road where something that you ever look back on a relationship that ended and you really can't figure out why it ended like you don't you can't finger point what the issue us because it probably wasn't the issue was probably the problem the issue may have been X Y Z the problem was you couldn't communicate right and a failure to communicate will break up any relationship so what I did about four or five years ago was make a decision to try to learn to communicate better and I believe that someone who's reflective and corrective can become a better communicator if you're willing to reflect over your own patterns and correct some weaknesses or tendencies that are not productive you can become a better communicator now that doesn't mean that the relationships going to because the person you're with may not be on this same journey growing and communication is one of the most difficult things for people to engage in because it requires a lot of self-reflection and most people are horrible at self-reflection they are great at reflecting on you right they're great at telling you what's wrong with you but they're really poor at telling you what's wrong with them and where they're growing so tonight is really a mirror moment it's not an opportunity to examine and analyze someone else it's an opportunity for us to look at ourselves so I want to ask you a question and as you raise a few hands I'll call them out what makes a conversation go left if I can use that term speak of thinking specifically about some of what Shar nikka and I just modeled what makes conversation go left that tone your tone tone you got to remember who you're speaking to we do what makes conversation go left Joseph when people listen to respond but they don't listen to understand tea what makes conversation go left you you you you you you you and you that is all about you what makes conversation go left the timing of the conversation we're gonna get that a minute very critical what makes conversations go left lack of empathy trying to understand walk in my shoes okay what makes the conversations go left delivery yep getting to that tone stuff what makes our surgical left bringing up issues that happen in the past that have not a darn thing to do with what we're talking about okay we're in the back here miss is what makes conversation go left raised voice as in the way you just spoke to me what makes conversation go left the means of communication very good some things should not be texted in relationships there's some conversations there inappropriate to have over text what makes ever since go left choice of words yes what makes conversation go left who you're involving in it yeah what makes it go left walking away from it Cassandra the words never end always let's put some up I tried to compile a list of from my own personal experience and pastoral experience that char Nika and I trapped in body a little bit and this is a way is no way exhaustive but does show us some of the things that really break down conversation I wanna let you know that conversations fail typically when one of two things happen okay either offense or diversion this may be a little theoretical but two things that will cause a conversation to go left immediately I mean there are a lot of symptoms but here the two major one when I become offended right then especially if I come in a moment of vulnerability and I am met with the spirit of offense my natural inclination are for the walls to go up and for me to start pushing back right no one wants to feel like they're vulnerable with someone who is intentionally trying to be offensive or the diversion and diversion is what we spoke by just meant with that sister that the issue is this but something happens in the conversation that makes it all about this and as a result we never deal with what the issue was that brought us to the table right that now we're arguing about X Y & Z but the conversation was really about a and when a doesn't get resolved now the devil wins because now they're all these other things that I'm sitting on and especially if you've never shared it so someone can be surprised by your bringing other issues into this conversation that they didn't know you were harboring so one of the things Darrell I'm clear about that I try to embody in in conversation someone is listening if something bothers you you should share it when it bothers you if it does not please do not wait until I have an issue for you to decide you want to bring up all your issues right that because now I feel offended like you you've been waiting and holding on to ammunition so that the minute I bring up something here you come swinging with all this and now none of our issues are dealt with now we're arguing about who's more offended right and as a result we want to miss communicating when offense and diversion those are two major things let's talk about some that calls it want continual interruptions that someone's like I know someone who fits that word continual interruptions speak so when someone's speaking and you're continually interrupting what you may not understand is that you're sharing with them some things that are causing the offense number one that you don't care to hear me all the way through number two for me it's important for you to understand that my thought pattern is deeper than 140 characters so if you're interrupting me before I get to the conclusion of what I'm saying you and I may wind up arguing over something I'm really not trying to say I am trying I I think deeply and in order for you to understand how I feel I may need to start all the way back here and make my way over here and if you keep interrupting me you and I will never get to what I'm really trying to say and now I'm really offended because you've really disrespected my thought pattern so continual interruptions are very disruptive and it shows the sign of kind of what Joseph said of someone who's really not listening someone who's just jumping in and arguing every point when that's really about what I'm trying to say Cassandra mentioned it always and never are horrible words to use in conversation especially in heated moments you need to delete these words the minute you use always and never the conversation is diverted so to give an example let's say you are upset that on your birthday I did not take you out to dinner okay and rightfully you feel some kind of way about it so the way you express it to me is saying you know what you never take me out to dinner the minute you tell me that I am Rolodex Singh every single moment I've taken you to dinner and now I'm regurgitating them to you and you feel like I'm throwing them in your face and the conversation is not breaking down because now the conversation is not about that I didn't take you during your birthday the conversations about that I that I have you don't remember and now I feel disrespected for what I've really done and now the argument is nothing has nothing to do with what you brought to the table nobody always and nobody Nevers right the men you use always and never you put someone in a defensive position to argue that they do or that they haven't and they're gonna run the whole list and the argument it's gonna go left someone who's addicted to being right [Music] have you ever been in conversation with someone that's got to win the point regardless the artists have to find a way to show they were right about something right and an addiction to being right really hinders the ability to communicate correctly being intentionally malicious I have a real problem with people who in communication go for the jugular you know say the thing that they know is the mercer most hurtful now we're really kaya right sisters y'all need to stop some of that [Applause] there there are some things you should hold back from saying because they're there those who in discussion want to win there's difference between wanting to be healed and wanting to win right and those who want to win go for the jugular they're going to say the thing that's the most hurtful that shuts the conversation down and don't realize that some of those wounds I will never walk away from that there are certain things my vulnerabilities my insecurities my iniquities that I'm wrestling with I don't need you to throw those in my face don't be maliciously don't be intentionally malicious those who analyze and predict but don't really listen you're you're not listening to what I'm saying you're trying to predict what I'm gonna say and overanalyze what I'm saying to the point that you're not hearing what I'm actually saying and as a result you're gonna respond to me in a way that's really not what I was trying to say one of the things I'm clear with people that I try to share is don't read between the lines with me because you're gonna read wrong but if you listen to what I'm saying because I work in communicating I'm gonna tell you exactly how I feel and if you don't take that at face value then we can't go forward you know don't try to overanalyze no one likes being psychoanalyzed by their main say that again no one likes being psychoanalyzed by their main untimely sarcasm and laughter there's how many people are fluent in sarcasm your fluently sarcastic right and in certain situations that's appropriate in the heat of the moment when vulnerability is on the table sarcasm may not be appreciated and the worst is untimely laughter so you and I are having a deep conversation about how you feel I disagree and I start laughing and that's gonna piss you off right there you do that bet that that that shows an utter disrespect for a pain I may be feeling or an issue that may be serious to me and you're laughing about it untimely laughter is going to shut that thing down it becomes offensive to people Jaime already you know you got something to work on okay okay hey man one of my major problems is that ima imma shut er down I shut down talkin I'm after a while I stopped talking because I know me and I can be a mean me a mean son of a gun and there are times I'm just gonna shut up so that I won't say what shouldn't be said now the problem shutting down is a way of protection but not when there's no indication that it's coming so when I just stop talking all of a sudden now there's an offense as opposed to me saying you know babe I need to let you know I'm about to say something I probably shouldn't someone shut up for a little bit I'll be quiet for a moment I'm gonna take a walk [Applause] I know you say what you want to say [Applause] don't push me cause I'm close to the end but I think it's important if you are a shutter down if you won that you know at a certain point it's just too much what helps us to give an indication that you're about to shut down I'm gonna be quiet for a moment cuz this is going to a place that doesn't need to go to and I'm gonna be quiet now you can keep talking but I'm not gonna say anything or I'm click I'm gonna take a walk I'll be back at some point they're things that I think we because we don't like being hurt because we're trying to be protective so fixing some of this automatically requires that you believe you can be vulnerable with the one you're speaking to and that's what it's all about is this person someone you can be vulnerable with and if not I'll suggest to you that loving them may not be of God if you cannot be vulnerable listen see what the Bible says you all know it Adam and Eve we're naked and not ashamed right not not nude and not ashamed you get nude with anybody naked is about a vulnerability that I can expose the good the bad the ugly the sensitive the insecure the stuff I'm not proud of and know that the person who sees it will not try to wound me if you can't be naked if you can't be vulnerable then maybe you shouldn't be nude right if you can't if I can't if I can't trust to bear all of I am and your presence that I shouldn't bear my sexuality that I think communication is critical it helps us identify who the Lord is and is not calling us to in a permanent relationship in a marriage if you would someone that you know is intentionally malicious and is not trying to be corrective that's not something you want to enter into long term that's abuse that's abuse and you and I both know at this stage of life if you are over 25 you have enough experience to know when communication ain't working God gives us signs all the way through now we're good at ignoring them but you know when something left a bad taste in your mouth in communication theory and relationships there are three different personalities within the room and no one fits in just one and I'm not saying these only three but they're three major dominant personalities and identifying your personality in communication will help you understand why some other people have issue with you or why you and some people can't get along in relationships so let me share with you the three dominant characteristics of relationship of communication they revolve around two issues processing and talking okay let me see if I can explain the three characteristics or dynamics or personalities of communicating have to do with how you process and how you talk how you reflect over what it is that's bothering you or your issue and how you choose to communicate it in one of the ways you can process these as usually put these in our three categories let me share with you the first one they help make sense and then I'm gonna ask you which one you're in many people are one in Dunn's and these are people who when something's bothering them they're gonna process it but they're gonna take a moment before they talk about it they want to understand how they feel correctly then these are those who want to have one conversation and hopefully we can put this to rest and be done so we don't have to go back to this right I've been thinking about this I'm bringing it to you Kelly something's going on my mind I want to share with you what I've been thinking about I'm hopeful that in one conversation I can be heard you can share we can put this to rest and we can move on we're going forward the one in Dunn's right I just want to do it this one time a second pattern are the let's be thorough people the let's be thorough people are the ones will believe that maybe it needs more than just one conversation and that there are a lot of issues that revolve around this so we're gonna process some feelings let's talk I'm gonna process again I'm gonna come back to you we're going to talk again I'm probably gonna process again we're gonna talk again I'm gonna process again we're gonna talk again because for them for them what's most important is that we cover it from A to Z that in order to move on we have to really look at this from A to Z this isn't just me listening you and saying I'm sorry this is us really unraveling everything this is getting to the foundation of our relationship this is establishing those core principles upon which we build and this is this is healthy this is healthy for some people because this is not that they wanted to keep going this is that they want to build a foundation to make certain we never have to go through this again so this has to be thorough this isn't just an incident we have to re-examine the foundation right that that we dig deeply and some people are let's be thorough like let's let's work this thing out and and deal with it then there are the I want to be heard these are people who process and talk at the same time so they're talking while they're thinking and processing but they really don't want you to say anything they want you to get let them get it off their chest like I want to be heard that this is therapeutic for me then I can't just bring this to you you say I'm sorry and we move on I need to get it off my chest I need you to hear me out now without being how many people are one in Dunn's okay how many are let's be thorough how many I want to be her [Applause] [Music] yeah question which two of these which two of these clashed the most one in three one and done and I want to be heard clash the most one in Duns think about it take some time talk about it let's move on this happens almost immediately and it just keeps going statistically speaking these are men [Applause] and more often than not these are sisters I'm not saying every sister but I say you only in that box but you have to understand that the nature of most men is to hear it fix it move on the nature of most women is see moat relate and heal through relation [Applause] yes that that men and women are sometimes wired differently in communication patterns so this model is rough for brothers because we have a not all but generally speaking men have a what do I need to do to fix it this model says sit still and listen now brothers my wave of hand how many men in here like to hear your woman say we need to talk that is torture on a man we need to talk exactly about what what what I do now and I just say I'm sorry because it requires a space that most men aren't comfortable in which is just sitting and emoting and relating when I would rather just do it fixed can I just go pump gas in the car and fit connect can I just take you out to dinner tomorrow Kennedy what you guys to take out dinner be over do you really have to tell me how much I messed up you need to be heard I know but it's important just to know how you process and talk are you one that needs time are you one that wants to stay in it some people want to stay in the conversations has done some people want to back away someone said the time in which you raised it for some people I need some time before I raise it others I need to raise it right now you know that I would sit well with things real quick how many people know you don't sit well with stuff but for so long like you get mmm-hmm they get it we need to talk we need to talk like right now most although one in three clash marriage counselors across the board argue this is the best one to somehow try to force yourself to find the best of both worlds know that then we're gonna talk in a process the everything doesn't have to happen right now that I'm not gonna process on you but I will come to you with how I feel we're gonna talk try to resolve things move on then when you find that middle ground between who you are and who they are that's what I think it's important to just know your own communication style so you can understand why someone else may not be able to communicate with you and what you need to do to make that kind of change because in every relationship you have to learn to speak their language as well that that's that's the child that's why I don't believe a lot of people have the strength to sacrifice to be married because you don't want to learn someone else's language you want to speak Airlines you want people to speak your language but you're not willing to learn to give her the space or you're not willing to learn to sit and just listen and let her talk you're not willing to let him stop and not have to deal with it right now timing is important learning one of my pet peeves when I walk in the house don't hit me with stuff right right [Applause] give me 3540 minutes to shower change sip on something red or brown depending what day it was [Applause] it was a good day is read if it was a church day as brown give me a minute yes learning the timing of when someone is approachable is critical how to approach them then you know there when we talk about the tone I found it a weird thing in relationship I've seen married couples who are as sarcastic as anything I've ever seen but they're both sarcastic and it works I know cursors I mean I'm talking about full-blown PhD in vulgarity called cursors but they both curse and it works I have found that I can be a cursor but don't judge me if I encouraged you out that's what I'm saying because this is all theory for you if I'd never cursed you out you don't know that but I do normal issue that I have tendency curse and for some people then get with it you know because you know I'm not cursing at them I'm I'm cursing in the conversation and then there's some the minute the first vulgarity drops their walls are up they're gone like you know they maybe they have a pass with that with someone else that was abusive of that language or to say my dad never curse to me I'm not gonna let you that's real stuff so learning to change this remember what makes you a better communicator reflection and correction reflect on your pattern and be able to correct some of your habits so that you can just say you've done the best you can do let me close this down real quick I didn't come to be deep but I hope I'm being helpful I had a appreciate are the Bible study the other day and lady came to me and she gave me one of the most unique compliments I've ever heard no it was a sermon it was a sermon on job and understanding the difference between the the Calvinists and the freewill foe for those who a church you saw it she came to me afterwards she gave me one of the most unique compliments I've ever heard she said thank you for helping me understand me to understand why I'm over on that side of the equation tonight all once you do is understand why you're on what side and maybe the one you care about is on the other side and if you can fix the communication problem you can deal with any issue so a few tips a few tips that come out of most counseling sessions wanted to always take ownership of your own feelings there is some poor said there's a dis between you you you you you and me saying to poor when you say that it makes me feel like such and such take ownership of the feelings now if you're with someone who knows you've been hurt by what they said and that doesn't matter to them open your eyes everyone's wall goes up when they become defensive so if you come on the attack some poor you you you you're gonna be shut down but if I say to you when you did such-and-such it made me feel like you didn't respect me as a man that ought to mean something you you ought to care about my feelings feelings are just feelings they're not always based on fact but they're powerful they need to be respected and you want to be with someone who respects your feelings so when I say to you that hurt me I want you to care about that I want you to be able to say I'm sorry than what I said hurt you that was not my intention I'm sorry that what I said it made you feel disrespected you've got to avoid silent frustration the one thing I can tell you from 20 years of pastoring is that at some point it's coming out and it's better to come out closer to the offense then years later because years later more offense has been added to it healthy relationships deal with stuff the minute it comes on you know you know what we found out and on your car you will know the worst things you can do in a car is see the check engine light and not get up pull over that's a horrible thing to do it's a horrible thing to know the check engine lights coming on and you keep pushing because eventually you're doing more damage than what the check engine light originally came on for when the check engine light comes on in the relationship pull over if you keep driving for months in years you're gonna do some irreparable damage no one can sit on an offense forever we've already talked about avoiding always and never indicating when you need to press pause I need to step away for a moment this isn't healthy I found it healthy to repeat what I've heard so Gil what you're saying is such-and-such and that gives you an opportunity to be one to know did I hear you clearly or - did you clearly communicate so you say no past that's not what I meant what I really what I was trying to say was such a okay because I don't want to respond off of my isint misinterpretation or your miscommunication so I'm repeating it so you get a chance that's exactly I mean okay now I can respond correctly right repeating be careful about reading between the lines as best you can focus on one issue at a time so sure Nika and I are arguing about whether she should go back to school and she brings up something I said to her mother two weeks ago so now I've matured to the point where I would say okay sure Nika you know what let's pause the school conversation and let's deal with what I said to your mother because obviously that's not resolved but when that's done we're coming right back to the school conversation cuz we're not gonna mix those two if we mix them we're gonna have two unresolved issues and two offended hurt people focus on one at a time the worst thing in the world in relationships is what I call emotional gumbo where you're just throwing everything in the pot at once and it doesn't come out well the last piece of advice I'll give you before we go to our prayer meeting some of y'all gonna be bringing after this game give you a best piece of advice best piece of advice came to me I use it at every wedding if you've ever been to a wedding I've performed you've heard this Deacon maila's hatchet it was a deacon in my first church he was suffering his 83rd birthday and it's 50th wedding anniversary to his wife Anna they were 80 plus he was 83 50 years of marriage I said he can hatch it what well first of all I asked him another question that he had to know Deacon hatch it do you catch it well when I was sick once made me a hot toddy [Applause] he called he said pastor are you feeling better I said I don't know if I feel better but I feel better I feel much better Deacon Hatcher was 83 I remember asking him once said DQ 83 years old you've been there for 50 years when once you stop noticing the sisters in church when did that not catch your eye anymore he said you got to find somebody older than me he was a he was a funny guy funny guy it's a sneaking action on his 15th anniversary is 83 years old I said what's the key to 50 years of marriage he gave me some advice I'm gonna pass on to you he said you both can't act a fool at the same time it will save a relationship you both can act a fool at the same time if he's acting the fool you got to stay calm if she's acting the fool you guys take home you both can't be at 10 and expected to work somebody has to sacrifice going to ten to bring it down and one of the things I tell people all the time you can bring me down but if you want to go to 10 I can go to 10 with you right quickly and easily so if I if I intentionally scaled down to two I need at least drop down to six because if you stay at ten you won't bring me up to ten and we both can act a fool at the same time work on your correct work on your communication patterns so that you know you've given it the best and if the issue can't be resolved at least you know that's relationship that wasn't meant to be but it starts with reflection and correction here's some ado I'm lifting for prayer in a moment and if you're here tonight and you're not a member of a church or even worse you can't say that you're a Christian it'd be at the joy of this church family to share with you the awesome love of God in Jesus Christ and how opening your heart to the Lord will change your life in ways you can't even begin to imagine right now we have a saying at Alfred Street amazing things happen when you say yes to God that a heart that says yes to God experiences amazing things so if you've never said yes to the lordship of Jesus Christ after this prayer while others are leaving there gonna be some deacons of our church or just down front we're gonna invite you to come down and speak to them they will share with you how much God loves you won't you bow me in prayer as we get ready to leave this place Lord we gather in this place and some of us are in one of two places in a relationship that was meant to be and one that was not and the ways in which we communicate and how they respond our ways of discerning is this potentially what God has for me lord I pray that tonight something would have been shared they would have helped one brother one sister to understand not only who they are but who they're communicating with that we will grow and mature that we might be like Paul who said you've got to learn to speak words that people understand and if they don't if they don't respect the feelings if they are maliciously and if they are intentionally malicious if they can't God communicate with us then maybe that's not where we're called to be I thank you for growth I think for the opportunity to do and be better when we leave this place now keep us safe and sound until we're able to meet together again and may somebody on Thursday know and believe we were in church on Wednesday just by the way we carry ourselves this is our prayer and we ask it in Jesus name Amen if you want to join our church family become a disciple come on down for the rest of you going grace and may the grace of God go with you [Music]

Channel: Alfred Street Baptist Church

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Keywords: ASBC, Alfred Street Baptist Church, 2018, Can You Hear Me Now?, Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley, CAYA, Come As You Are

Id: 9WR8PjlY-0s

Length: 51min 28sec (3088 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 07 2018