Journey Home - 2017-09-18 -

[Music] good evening and welcome to the journey home I'm Marcus Grodi your host for this program and here we are in the 21st season as we move forward open to the the guests that the holy spirit brings to us who have opened their hearts and minds to the beauty of our Lord Jesus Christ in His Church and I particularly mentioned the movement Holy Spirit tonight because our guest Barbara hyoh former charismatic Pentecostal in word of faith she brings to our journey a lot of emphasis on the Holy Spirit so we're anxious to hear about that Barbara welcome to journey home thank you it's my honor to be here it's great to have you on the program really charismatic by them all right I didn't mean to say it that way but that was the river or the Avenue that the Lord used to open your heart to the church but I'm not gonna jump ahead of things I'm gonna back way out of the picture and invite you I know you got a little the Lord has brought you in a huge journey so I'm a bummer back out of the way and give you all the time you need well my Stewart my story starts really young I have to tell you about the beginning because it's part it'll make sense later but my very I was not raised in a Christian home a lot of times people have you know their family religion their family traditions I did not go to church as a child and fact I like to tell people I was basically raised tenth generation heathen and we didn't even go on holidays so didn't have it it still amazes me to think that there are folks like that in America but there's sadly that's growing and my earliest memories you know in those days some of us got wept in those days and my earliest memories are of after a particularly stringent whoopin at the end in my bedroom weeping and there'd be a man I don't mean to sound crazy but there'd be a man in my window that would comfort me it was in the sky and I would talk to him and he was my friend and didn't know his name and years later I was a student and I heard about the gospel of salvation had a miraculous encounter with Jesus Christ totally changed my life totally transformed me I was in a meeting later I found out it was a charismatic meeting that a lot of students were in at about 500 people and just watching the Holy Spirit move and just transformed people's lives I found out Oh God is good I heard Jesus's name said in a loving way for the first time in my life and suddenly I understood the man had been talking to had to be Jesus but why was he there and so I had this incredible conversion experience and totally transformed my life and found myself wanting to dedicate my life to telling other people about Jesus because I didn't know other people knew because no one had ever told me seriously no one had ever told me and so I was like it's my mission to go and tell everybody because God is real he's alive he cares about people he loves the world and so I ended up in Bible School ministry training and this is what means I love this you know when you work of God's grace and his love to change somebody I mean what kind of a meeting was this I mean what they had you know when you were going to some kind of sermons had become believers okay and I was not and they kept asking me to come and asking me to come dragging me there later I found out that there were some little old ladies down the street that were praying for a bunch of us and I went one night heard the Gospel message the Holy Spirit just witness of friends yes reckon yeah yeah prayers of these ladies absolutely and then whether you want to or not there you are and then grace of your tears evangelization you're asking me meeting is going on I get up to leave because I'm upset that I'm there and I'm wasn't comfortable I was you know we get we want everybody to be comfortable but I was uncomfortable so I was getting up to leave and instead of what at the back I walked up to the front and the speaker stopped and looked at me and he said young lady is there anything I could do for you and I said whatever you did to them just get it over with and do it to me I just I just and I and literally the next day this guy was really bluer the Sun was setting or the grass is really greener and I and I right away got into a good church that knew how to raise up people who hadn't been raised Christians it takes a special grace to do that you still got to believe that they're out there you know we can't just assume everybody's saved or that everybody was fine and we're called to be we're called to be evangelists and you sense right away that God was calling you to something well I I wanted other people to know I wanted people I had seen the power of God to bring people out of addiction I had seen the power of God to bring people out of destructive lifestyles and I wanted other people to encounter the love of God so I gave myself Mike gave my life to that I felt that call and I right away ministry training Bible School and during that time I actually took a course to prepare for the mission field I took a course called how to win a Catholic and I got certified that's true I got certified and I took the advanced certification on how to win a Catholic is that the win the Pope yeah so I was really steeped at the same time that I was getting healed myself and my life was transforming and I was really answering the call to missions and ministry at the same time I was getting some religious prejudice yeah engrained in me I don't know if you remember the old Schick tracks oh oh I read that thing from cover to cover and I was convinced you know I didn't know any better I didn't know and and I was gonna say for the sake of the audience out there those that anti-catholicism that you're talking about isn't always just anti-catholicism it could be anti mainline Judaism to rate and it was a little bit of that to like if you really know God you're gonna be like us you know that kind of thing and so a lot a little pride there and but we really love Jesus at the same time so I just knew what I was being taught and I'm but then I found myself on the mission field and I like to point out that we did Crusades I've seen seen the Lord move on masses of people he came to the Lord what's happened mission fields India Egypt have her come into 65 nations yeah Wow we would we've administer the word we'd pray with people so many healings some actual healings take place would feed people and loved what I did and that it was during that time I'm out on in the mission field specifically in the Philippines I have a deep memory of you know we're in one village and the Catholic priest is marching by doing a procession saying don't go to their meeting you know all this other stuff you're going to be excommunicated and Edyta and everybody's eyes are big we go to the next town and the Catholic priests and nuns are coming out to help us do the meeting and I remember thinking hmm the first thing I understood yes I do not understand and I just remember kind of put a question mark like wait a minute I've got a certificate on how to win a Catholic and this does not compute and I don't understand it and during that time I had a we lived in a missionary community in rural Virginia was very interdenominational and during that time we had a big worship movement that came through and people would come from all over the world and around the country to just worship God together it was a very full of the spirit community and some Catholics started coming and I can remember thinking now if they were really full of the spirit why are they still Catholics I didn't understand but I watched their lives and there was a preset used to visit and I still have the Benedictine cross he gave me gives me a book and we're praying for you and I'm thinking hmm good alright and and then the next thing that happened pretty much was we had a new director at our ministry and she ministered a lot amongst charismatic Catholics and I was totally scandalized because of my certificate my trained the chick track the whole thing didn't understand it and I thought what is she doing and why are these people wanting to come to our ministry and they were wonderful people and really contributed to what was happening there and kind of raised the bar a little bit too and my director there was a priest that was visiting from Wales and he wanted to go to Mass at st. adds on Saturn on Sunday morning so my director said can you drive him to Mass at st. Ann's in Ashland I said I can do that so I get up the next day and father gets in the car and I Drive him up to st. Anne's pull up by the front door beautiful historic church he goes let you come in in aren't you I was like I can I go in there he goes well I love you too I'm gonna be giving the homily today I didn't even know what homily meant and I can remember I went around the back part walked inside and I look around and it's this beautiful historic church covered with scriptures now first of all I was astonished in a Catholic Church it shows you how ignorant I was totally ignorant I was I was amazed and then the liturgy I've never heard a Catholic liturgy before and it was all Scripture and I was just in amazement going this does not compute this isn't what I thought it was gonna I don't know what I thought it was gonna be like I didn't think it would be like that and it was all scription and he got up and gave us his talk and I was I just left there kind of scratching my head going Wow and just a little bit after that one of the couples that had joined our staff they're Catholic today they are lay missionaries and cypress they had heard me speaking I used to we had camp meeting every summer missionaries would come people came from all over the world and I was speaking a lot about worship and this man this Catholic Mannion bill Boehner says can I give you a book I said okay yeah and I picked up this book I could not put it down I was like wow this is amazing because we thought we were cutting edge okay every every movement thinks they're cutting edge and we thought we were cutting edge and here in reading this book and it's the same language and it's the same goal of worshiping the creator and knowing God and talking about our bridegroom and I was stunned because a it had been written 500 years ago be it was written by a Catholic and see she was a nun Teresa of ávila and so bill finally I read it and read it read it bills like can I have my book back I was like got any more like this so he starts giving me books by people that I later found out were the doctors of the church and it rocked my world for many reasons basically like many of the guests that I've that you've had before you know before Luther it's like there was this a black hole and and I'm discovering all these amazing people you know Catherine of Siena st. John of the Cross and I would read it and think wow this is good too bad they're Catholic and it was really making me have a lot of questions and so the next thing that happened that's one dimension of our guest barb oh hi oh and I do I do think it is amazing how very sincere non-catholic Christians can be in a little group and very sincere but yet kind of believe they got a corner on the and then when you discover wait someone said this before right years hundreds of years ago if I'd worded that come from and often is why didn't somebody tell me yes that was the other thing I felt cheated I was like wow there's all this stuff especially when I read the writings of the church fathers immediately after the disciples I didn't even know they existed and it was so beautiful and I was I felt a little cheated and I was like this is amazing and then another book I read at the time was them by a man named Robert Lewis Wilkin and he wrote a book the spirit of the early Christian Church and that book you know and then he later became a Catholic because of the research he did on the early church and I read that and I just was like wow but in the meantime I'm a full-time minister I'm a mom I'm a wife I'm a missionary I'm a pastor you know we we pioneered churches I'm traveling not just around the country but around the world doing conferences and retreats and in my spare time then I'm reading you know basically Catholic contraband you know and had lots of questions because I was I was hungry I was also finding myself being fed by the these these writers in a way that amazed me and frankly I wasn't looking for it there we are and had a lot of questions in the meantime the wool nurse moved to Cypress so I can't ask them too much and and then things get a little problematic because I'm have all these questions that I'm finding that most Catholics weren't they didn't understand my question let alone know the answers so I had a hard time finding people to ask questions I've been really I wanted to argue you know that's that's the truth of it could you know certificate because I had a certificate and and I still was kind of bumping up against this prejudice I had and miss things that I think good people taught me without knowing themselves what the truth really was they were good people and so I was kind of look around for something to answer some of my questions that were arising as I'm reading this ancient Catholic literature ancient church literature I should say and in the meantime our pastor our director had a man called Monsignor Walsh he would hold conduct something called Catholic Pentecostal meetings and I was sent to one to represent our ministry and so there I am at the back of a Catholic Church during Mass with a bunch of spirit-filled Catholics and I'm thinking this is going to be great I'm gonna watch these Catholics and I'm gonna watch what goes on but I'm just gonna stay out and out of the Catholic stuff that they're doing and just kind of observe and see and watch and and all I could tell you is when they started to worship the Lord at the end of that conference I went stood in the back but they're gonna do there were getting robes out and getting candles out and I thought I'm just gonna stand in the back and watch and just began to worship the Lord back there and suddenly I felt the presence of the Lord in a really strong way and literally it was as if Jesus was standing in front of me and I opened my eyes because I was in prayer at this point I opened my eyes and the priest from Nebraska was standing in front of me holding a long golden stick with the sunburst on top with a little glass case and he's holding it directly over me I didn't know what it was all I knew was it was as if Jesus himself was standing right in front of me and I was just I was amazed I just kept worshiping they'll close my eyes again Keppler shipping the Lord but I left that conference with those Catholics going what was that I didn't know what a monstrance was at that time but it was real well that of course it's going to propel me because I still have this certificate that I'm bumping up against and now I really want to know what was that what were they doing during math what does all of this mean I want to try to understand and in the meantime we got transferred we started a church in North Dakota we were ministering a lot up in northern Minnesota and suddenly had no one to ask these questions from and my book supplier just moved to Cyprus so didn't have be able to get books from anymore and so what do you do when you need information and there's nobody to ask I'm on the internet I'm googling put all these questions and I really wanted answers and mind you every weekend I'm out doing meetings doing a conference a retreat and speaking somewhere traveling and we have a church you know got my kids my late husband passed away about that time and I'd be on I'd be googling all these things I was reading in this literature and I stumble on something called the coming home network and I remember I had all these questions what about this what about this what about the other thing and there was the forum you know and then I signed up so that I can anonymously get on the ministers forum and argue with your resident theologians and I was like finally so freaky that I can't offend and I can ask my questions without you know worried about it so much and so I'd be on the minister's farm quite a while and with Dave Armstrong at the time and usually in the evenings I'd be there okay now what about this and I could I think about their answer and I'd walk away I had still had that certificate right I'd walk away and I think that can't be right so do my own research and and just you know just kind of open my heart to how this this could be true and at the same time there was such a hunger in me and I was finding myself no matter where it was in the country no matter where I was in the world between meetings I ended up sitting in the back of some Cathedral somewhere and feeling the presence of God and it's like what do you do when you're in my shoes right and some on the minister's forum and finally there was some click here for more information and I end up in an email correspondence with somebody named Jim Anderson at the coming home that word and and that was really helpful to me and I sent me books which I also you know it's like ah I can't let anybody see these books in my head and read the books and had questions and then he'd check in on me how are you doing on your journey and I'd be like wow and she'd offer some encouragement and devoured the newsletters and our rule from the beginning of our work has always been we're not here to push pull or prod anybody but to stand beside right I don't know if that's how you experienced I did I finally had some resource and I finally had because of the personal touch of Jim Anderson at that time I also had somebody at the other end that was praying for me and was you know just there and and to be honest I was very busy still taking missions teams to other countries still training people to go out and preach the gospel and you know so I'd walk away from it for a while and let it kind of just do and just think well that's this is interesting this is interesting well a little while after that my mother had come down with cancer and I took the Lord put me on a leave of absence from ministry I went on a sabbatical so I go out to Moses Lake Washington to stay with my mom what she's having chemotherapy and a fourth stage non-hodgkins lymphoma everybody people around the world are praying for her I'm praying for her keeping her laughing praying and my mom's like what are you reading oh nothing mom no no what do you boys got a nose in a book what are you reading over there and I was like my mom already thinks I'm crazy I'm a missionary travel all around the world I could tell them reading this stuff because so finally one day Barbara what are you reading I said it's it's a book mom it's by one of the doctors of the church and I start telling my mom about my this love that I'm developing for the Catholic Church and what I'm reading and just what I feel when I when I go into the cathedrals or these different churches and my mother says to me well you know you were baptized Catholic I was like I was and my I was baptized Catholic and did not know it and she might have told me when I was really small but I don't remember that and then my mother had left when I was 12 so I was with my father and my younger brothers and you know so I didn't have that mom thing going on so I didn't know I was baptized so I said where when how this is amazing to me and I sent away and got my baptismal certificate from Saint Xavier Catholic Church in st. Louis Missouri if I had another certificate but then I understood because I always wondered why me why was Jesus with me as a child why was I so open to the gospel when I heard it and what I understood was even though I did not know that I was in covenant with God God never forgot that he wasn't covenant with me yes and I I I just was amazed and I remembered getting that certificate and I was like wow I was given to God and he never let go of me and that great that's great yeah and at that time I discovered this is this is we talked about saved by grace I was saved by grace oh you're - it's his favor that was I was not the originator of this movement to God God was the originator towards me and and you've witnessed all your life the work of the Holy Spirit oh yes oh yes and what thrilled me was you can't tell me that God doesn't do miracles because I've seen them you can't tell me that God can't transform my life because I've witnessed it so when I began to read the stories of the early church and I saw the miracles the power you know in Europe during the Dark Ages when the priests and monks and the missionaries would go in to pig in Europe and pig in Germany and they were there were miracles following the preaching of the word as they preached Christ notable miracles and I was like wow this is my tribe they believed you know they they walking in the kingdom of God and and seeing a manifestation of who God says he is when we trust him he shows himself true so I saw no incompatibility whatsoever and continuity of Paul saying it wasn't his intellect it was the work of the Holy Spirit exactly we didn't come to you in fancy words we came in demonstration of the power of the Holy Spirit and you know our culture kind of needs that right now I think and so now I'm in a kind of a funny place where I found out I've got this certificate I'm loving everything I've been on the journey home networks the coming home network on the minister's forum and I'm asking the Lord what now well in the meantime I find out another close associate of mine name is Debbie Kendrick she's from Virginia she would speak at a lot of big ecumenical conferences in Europe she'd be the token Protestant and so I'm talking I called Debbie one day and we're catching up and I'm like I gotta tell one of my peers from you know the ministry what's going on and I'm like Debbie and Debbie says to me me too so she's in the same journey that I was in and so we kind of started walking together through this and about that time I was in st. Paul and I'm asking the Lord okay Lord now why now why we're taking people to the mission field we're leading people to Christ we're seeing the Holy Spirit just transform lives but the beauty of the church the beauty of sacraments learned what what do you which way do you want to direct me now Lord and the Lord said to me you're gonna take the class I was like oh good I hope it's history I hope it's history the early church and I'm on the computer and I I'm thinking I'm gonna audit a class at st. Thomas or something in st. Paul Minnesota and the lawyers like no nope not that not that and this banner comes across my screen for something called a catechetical Institute I couldn't even say it didn't know it had a catechol even even meant I didn't even know what it meant and the Holy Spirit said to me that's your class I hit the link the next day all this information learn your faith better that of that and I'm thinking learn me I'm not Catholic and I just sort of want to take a history class and fillers like that's a class I call the next day end up talking to a man named Jeff Cavins I did not know who Jeff Cavins well I tell him my speech like you know this is Catholic and I said yes but this is what's going on I just want to take the class so then he tells me his story you know and and he I I started the class the cab did Harry J Flynn catechetical Institute in st. Paul and I thought I'm gonna I'm just gonna eat the meat and spit out the bones and I will tell you that first now by this time I'm having to tell my board I've got a ministry to run and I'm telling my board I'm you know a little bit what's going on they're very worried about me and I start the very first class the very first day the very first chapter of the Catechism I left there weeping I was like this is pure beauty it's all Scripture I was amazed I'm gonna pause there we need to take a break Barbara so but I want to dig back into what you learned in that catechetical class I remember feeling the same way what does that word mean because it wasn't where we often used right so we'll come back in just a bit come been here more barber Ohio story [Music] [Music] welcome back to the journey home I'm your host Marcus Grodi and our guest is Barbara hi oh and you're getting ready to take this class in Category just started it you know you're you're weeping we're just opening up the Catechism but before we jump into that your journey because now you've revealed the fact that the reason is this happening is because your baptismal graces had awakened your soul mm-hmm with the indwelling of the Trinity whether you knew it or not and you experienced that although all these years and God was present with you loved you cared for you stood beside you not that window used you and gifted you all these things all these years without you knowing that he was pulling you in a direction discovered the fullness of the church even as with all you had discovered and you took this catechetical class were you at at the point yet you thought you were going to go in that direction I did not and when I tell my story people find this hard to believe like you know those two lines in the sand were my heels and part of that part of that was well first let me say I have met so many pastors since I've come into the church who have confided in me that they had also been baptized Catholic and it is amazing in certain denominations especially spirit-filled denominations how many ministers and missionaries were basically their laps Catholic or baptized had never brought up in their faith I think that's very interesting that that baptismal grace caused them to keep being drawn into salvation so that today they're in ministry but no I had a problem and my problem was that because I had ministered just so many lapsed Catholics or people that left the church and did not know their faith and did not know the Bible this was a problem for me I thought how you know it intrigued me how some how so many people in a church with such a beautiful history and such beautiful truth in it would not know the Word of God would not know their own faith and I thought law you know so that was a little was it difficulty for me it was like you know people like excuse me it's going to sound very proud but they thought it was people that were Catholic we're coming out and coming to these other churches in my experience I hadn't witnessed people like me going the other way and becoming Catholic and I'm a bit of an evangelist and so where I'm going to talk about what's happening and I thought you know I've seen God do so much in people's lives to the Word of God through prayer through you know just coming to Christ out of atheism or agnosticism you know how you know there were so many people that didn't know what they had so that was a little bit of a stumbling block you hadn't mentioned that after your awakening at the first Church and then you went to a church you said that was accustomed to helping people from that background yes you know so the dangers can be in the Catholic local Catholic Church or even local mainline Protestant churches is that we can kind of presume yes unfortunately everybody's arrived yeah and not everybody's arrived there right they may have had baptismal graces and maybe been confirmed in catechized but they may have grown spiritually anyway anywhere beyond that and we can never take that for granted well we're settling for a cultural Catholicism rather than understanding that all of this is about enriching my encounter with the Living God and without without knowing God without having that encounter in my own life what is it what is it for and so that that was the big stumbling block to be honest you're digging in your heels even going into this catechetical class so why are you weeping at the opening of the car because it was so beautiful and it was all scripture and I was just my breath was taken away you know just that very first paragraph you know God in an act of sheer goodness and and can't remember exactly how it goes but I especially that first leg that first a pillar of the the Catechism and Jeff Cavins you know he'd be in and out and it was he was running it at that time with Kelly wall quiz and you know just they were helpful and the interesting thing was all of the presenters were converse you had a passion for Catholics to understand their faith so this is what happened I walked in the first night well we'd had had mass the week before but when class started I walk in and I saw something that by this time I by the you know Bill vulner had given me the book ten years earlier okay that's how much time had gone by and I walked in this with something I never thought I'd see I saw a room full of Catholics with Bibles the catechisms highlight markers sitting in a chair waiting to look her and I was like wow this is awesome and I would leave there just thinking oh this is so beautiful all scripture I would look up all the scripture verses and in the meantime I'm still ministering I'm still helping other people to know the Lord in the deeper way and I call I'm out and I'm out doing a meeting out in New Hampshire I would I would leave the Twin Cities on a Thursday or Friday go do my meetings fly back into the Minneapolis Airport on Monday and drive straight to the catechetical Institute and so I'm away at a meeting in New Hampshire and my friend Debbie the other gal that was in the journey with me she calls me and I call her back after my meeting I had a little bit break and I'm walking along the river Deb it goes Barbara I said yeah she goes I did it I said what did you do she said I came into the Catholic Church and on the inside I went she beat me and I thought she's talking now telling me all about how she and Bill came into the church and how it happened and I'm thinking why did why did I just say that why was that the first thing I thought of why'd that I didn't hear anything else she said all I could think of his why was my first response she beat me I thought oh my goodness I think Lord I've been I think I couldn't even put words to it and but that was a turning point for me because I realized what was in my heart like oh my goodness what do I do and I'm still taking mission screws I wasn't saying you know that yeah it's one thing to discover the beauty of the church and starting to hear the mandate of your conscience but you have a calling right I had a calling love people love to see God move on people's behalf a lot of people have callings also that need to be fostered and that was one of the things that I particularly still love to do and I thought I you know I can love it I can glean but I can't how do I do that so in the meantime I'm back at the catechetical Institute and there was another thing to happen I would go visit math and I would watch people it's in the back and watch I was like well there's the good Catholic people up front doing all the Catholic stuff then there's the other group especially if it was a historic Cathedral then there's the other group that there you don't go all the time but they're there then there's the tourists like me who don't have a clue what's going on they're fumbling especially in some of these you know we have a very historic beautiful cathedral in st. Paul Minnesota and you'd see them fumbling and the people in the front weren't helping the people in the back and later I was saying when I was presenting as later said you know basically there were a bunch of fish trying to get in the boat and nobody was fishing nobody was manning the nets and that bothered me it's like there's no evangelization taking place yeah and so what do you do with what do you do with all that and so I'm just nobody had ever invited me to anything was the other thing sure you've heard this from other people and so finally I'm at the catechetical Institute and we're in about the second or third pillar of the catechism and there was a couple in my small group the Altman's and they gave me an invitation have you started our CIA I don't know I'm not going to do our CIA every time I said to evolvement you need to do our CIA I don't need to do our CIA he comes the next week he's got a little piece of paper with Randy Mueller's name and phone number on it you need to call Randy Mueller and start our CIA like okay I'll call Randy come back to next week did you call Randy now come back the next week did you call Randy no you need to call Randy so finally I'm flying back into the Twin Cities I've been out ministering flying back into the Twin Cities gonna pick up my car head to the catechetical Institute I thought he's gonna ask me again I cannot tell them I can't look him in the face and go no and I thought I'm just gonna give Randy a call it's late they've already started our CIA I call him up Randy this is Barbara hi oh oh I mean sorry I wasn't Barbara Heil yet excuse me I wasn't by Raphael yet this is my breath because oh I've been waiting for your call he said to be here on Thursday I'm like but but but aren't you weeks in he goes oh just join us so there I am I mean our CIA because of an invitation it just took an invitation it's all we needed people ask me all the time why did you end up at that church of all of all the churches in the Twin Cities wide what made you go to that one for confirmation they were the once who invited me that's all evangelism is is that you do why not with anybody was praying for entering this time I there were people at the catechetical Institute that I did not know about that were praying for me behind this because I say that early on that was what happened someone dragged you to a thing and people were praying for you right once again somebody the power absolutely yeah so I started our CIA I'm going to the catechetical Institute well now I'm home and I'm thinking oh my gosh before I die this sounds crazy before I died I think I want to be Catholic and I had fallen in love with the Eucharist heard someone one of my one of the things I had difficulty with was the Rite of reconciliation why do I need to go to the priest if I can go to Jesus myself I had preached first John chapter one if any man confessing his sins God is faithful and just to forgive us just since I had seen God transform lives and so I they would do Saturday formations and I was able to make this one and it was on the right of reconciliation and by the time I left there I was like where do I sign up can I don't know it was beautiful it was beautiful but I had a meeting that day so I left finally I went to Jeff Cavins and I said okay Jeff I'm in I'm in but I had one last out wouldn't it be selfish of me to give up I wasn't doing that much but I mean it was busy would it be selfish of me to give up everything I'm doing just so that I can take the Eucharist and Jeff didn't miss a beat he said I would hate to think when your bridegroom is inviting you into a place of intimacy that you would tell him you had better things to do and I went oh ho I have no answer for that and I walked away and I was like I think I'm gonna do this I went to visit the same priest that gave the press presentation about the Rite of reconciliation he heard my first confession which was kind of interesting because I his name is father Stephen Hoffman from the Twin Cities and I said how far back should I go and he goes let's let's make sure we do it right let's just do it all and I found myself sweet it's very hewing it's weeping through the whole thing very healing and I went back to father Stephen and he said I'm afraid I'm afraid and irate he told me he said obedience will only bring you blessing I said okay I know that's true and I would tell someone that too and so I was finishing our CIAA and I thought okay I think I'm ready well this this is the other part of the story the reason I was baptized is my mother's grandmother insisted I be baptized my mother is also the only person in her family that was baptized because of the same grandmother her name was Madeline and I like to say because of metal and Madeleine that wouldn't leave my mother alone I was a Baptist so there I am it's 2013 it's coming to be springtime and somebody has given me a trip to go to Rome and I I'm like Randy I've got this trip to go to Rome I really feel like I'm supposed to take the trip I will not be here for Easter for confirmation so he gets special permission for me to get confirmed when I get back from Rome but to have my first official Eucharist Communion in Rome at st. Peter's at the Saturday night vigil with Pope Francis so that's what we did so my my first official Eucharist as a cat coming into the Catholic Church was was there in Rome the Saturday night vigil at the Vatican and then came home April 27th 2013 for my confirmation and out as I was leaving my confirmation my oldest daughters weeping into the whole thing and very happy for me could feel the presence of the Lord in the church and as we're leaving I could sense my grandmother but I could feel her prayers my great-grandmother her prayers not just for me but for my mother who had been a lapsed Catholic for so long that when she came with me to Mass was the first time she'd heard it in English and she has returned to the Catholic Church now and so that's that is my story I didn't know if I'd ever speak again if I'd ever minister again I lost some friends some some groups that I was ministering with before that I'm still in relationship with them I still do mission work but there was a while there I didn't know what would happen and but God has kept me pretty busy oh did you have to do you still renew your certificate that other certificate got canceled my certificate but I understand well because they talk about that I mean talk about from your experience there the the lack of understanding well it was bad too it was wasn't just lack of understanding I was taught things that really just weren't even true and I and I knew the people who taught it to me and I basically understand that they just heard it from somebody else and out of the goodness of their heart wanting to please God they're taking you know not good information and they're passing it on to the next generation and you know next generation of ministers I have found there's another priest that was part of my story named Father Starbuck and yes that is his real name and he would tell me they're gonna be a missionary to Protestants um I'd be like no I'm not he'd be like no you're gonna be a missionary Protestants and what I found was the bridge goes both ways and that Protestants can ask me about the Catholic Church and they do and Catholics ask me about the Protestant church wanting to understand well why don't they believe in this and why don't they believe in that so it goes both ways but I've had many when I came in I didn't make a big splash about it I'm kind of quietly let people know I had to have a meeting with my close supporters that had been with me through thick and thin three years and had explained my journey and to a person they were very supportive of me they don't understand it I know some of them are still maybe secretly worried about me but well the other thing I find is others who are pastors especially in certain denominations they'll kind of draw me aside and tell me you know I missed the Catholic Church I miss it they'll ask me questions well what do you do about this and what do you do about this and I used to apologize for the fact that it took me so long I mean it's almost embarrassing by the time I came in it was 14 years since bill went giving me the book but I needed those 14 years because now anytime anybody asks me anything I already was I already tortured myself going over that same thing so I understand so I'm i and i also understand when people get angry because i made made the move and just people can take that not just as your decision but as your rejection of them and and and what you all stood for together right and the beauty was and father hoffman again helped me with this I was having last minute before the right of sending I was having last minute do this I can't do and I'm again father Hoffman to the rescue and father C explained to him how am i feeling and and father Hoffman said you're not leaving behind who you are you're bringing that with you and that that sure helped me and even in the catechism my other other big concern was you can't tell me that all these other people aren't Christians and when I read in the Catechism hey they are the Church recognizes they are and then of course you have Papa Francesco who loves everybody and welcome to everybody in so I've got an email for you Stella from Myrtle Beach writes coming from many years in ministry how does Barbara now find her place in the Catholic Church as a woman seeing as women can't become priests how do you find fulfilment as a believer in Jesus without exercising the same kind of ministry in the Catholic Church well I get that question a lot cuz I'll do questions and answers at the end of my talks the fact of the matter is most ministry is not in a pulpit anyway I still pray for the sick I still talk to people about Jesus I still have Bible studies I have a Catholic Bible study right now I take pilgrimages to the Holy Land I have found myself very busy ministry is not just what goes on behind a pulpit I've I've spoken retreats and conferences there is so much to do for everybody in the first seed that opened your heart to the church was a book by a woman exactly so it's limitless what is possible we get the idea that I have to have the robe on and I have to be able to do this I had someone stood up in one of my meetings and was very angry at the church because of it stand on certain things and I didn't buy into her blessed her at all because there's so much opportunity because the fields the world the first evangelist where women women were evangelist to the evangelists who they were apostles to the apostles for and so all we need to do is be obedient to the caller Christ to go and preach the gospel to to give the gospel to those who need it so as a woman I I know I'm part you know I read theology of the body too and I know that we are uniquely crafted to bring our own our own strengths and gifts to evangelization so well there's there's more no work to be done more than enough to be and more than enough new ministries that can be birthed in this day and age I have another email from Kathy from Pennsylvania when I go to Mass as a new convert I am always taken aback by the lack of enthusiasm and joy in people it seems like they just show up sit down stand up and go home for another week without being changed or challenged in their Christian walk worship was such a different experience in my previous church but I want to light a spark in my Catholic parish I have experienced the same I you know up in the Twin Cities the parish that I was in was really alive and I ended up meeting and marrying a Catholic man and moving to Iowa where I live now Midwest small town and a whole different part of the country and and even in st. Paul I would notice if I visited other churches I would see differences and I would wonder the same thing and what I understood at first when I came in it was like whoa you know what have I done and but then I understood there's some people that need some teaching and they don't realize what's going on and secondly what I what I also understood is my enthusiasm does not change the grace that's in that sacrament it's my enthusiasm does not make it valid make it my enthusiasm perhaps as a reflection of my faith in that and my understanding of that so I'm missing out and the joy of the Lord that I can experience but my lack of enthusiasm enthusiasm does not make invalid the sacraments that people are participating on so that's a good way to pray instead of getting disillusioned or frustrated you know I was really surprised when I came into the church so how much of this was going on surprise no well I was gonna say your whole life is a witness to the fact that baptismal graces are waiting to come alive yes yes and so the potential is always there in any baptized person right for those Grace's to be nurtured prayed for someone to drag somebody into something back to those faiths to come alive for that person well and we want faith to come alive we want we have an alive Church Jesus is the head of the church and he is very much alive the power of the Holy Spirit in the church very much alive so we want to get out of our comfort zones where we just want to skate along business as usual and we want to start you know being the one that's being friendly or being the one that's sharing or being the one that's helping light a spark in someone's feet father enero economy so who is the preacher to the paper papal household he talked about the graces that are in the sacraments are only activated through faith that without faith they are tied so if we are brothers and sisters and we are our brothers keepers and I see that maybe the graces are that from these sacraments are like tied up in your life and you're not experiencing the joy the enthusiasm the life of it perhaps I need I need to be my brother's keeper and help them understand their faith and cogno faith so that they begin to embrace the graces that are coming to them from those sacraments yeah yeah there was a an old spiritual writer that once said how do we cure the sin of self-esteem which was another word self-centeredness and the answer was get out of your cell and go help the poor that's right get out of your health cuz then God your cell meaning dumb luck loud and we need to break free from ourselves so the graces can flow through us and to other people and it changes us in the price the backdrop of your website is from his heart calm just want to make sure they know that and thank you for joining us on the program did my pleasure all right thank you for your witness and thank you for joining us on this episode of the journey home I do pray that Barbara's journey is an encouragement to you god bless you see you next week [Music] you

Channel: EWTN

Views: 19,430

Rating: 4.8679247 out of 5

Keywords: JHT, JHT01584

Id: dd9g4kSNDuM

Length: 56min 10sec (3370 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 18 2017