JORDAN PETERSON ~ RESENTMENT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

so alright so the individual has like culture and like nature also has its negative element you would call that the shadow you know and we're gonna we're gonna discuss the shadow in some detail because one of the things that you believed and he kind of got this idea from Nietzsche was that when you grow up and maybe as a consequence of your temperament you tend to think that some of your attributes are good and some of them are negative you know so you make moral judgments about them and fair enough so you know you might think for the psychoanalysts the two elements of human being that were commonly regarded as negative from a moral perspective with sexuality and aggression and but Jung's notion is that well you know you might be someone who's modest and careful and never causes any conflict and then we might say well you're a well socialized person but Jung's point would be yeah but you got no power you've got no power and so people are just going to roll right over you so you better dive into that morass of sexuality and aggression and pull out those powers and integrate them into your psyche so that you can use them consciously because without that you're harmless but you know I don't think that's a very good ambition you know what do you want to be when you're 30 well I want to be harmless it's like you know really that's what you want to be it's like you might as well not even be if that's your goal so so you know this dichotomy between the positive individual and the negative individual is very very complex because what's positive and what's negative is not obvious from the beginning and our betray judgments don't help it's very difficult for a given individual to look at themselves and say well what is it about me that's actually worth developing and I can tie this into some degree into big five theories so one of the big five characteristics is agreeableness safe and people tend to think of agreeableness as a virtue which is a complete it's completely idiotic to think that because every virtue has its vice but agreeable people are sympathetic and empathetic and compassionate and polite and those all sound like good things but they're also part of being a need to pull parent by the way but but anyways the problem with being agreeable is that people take advantage of you and then you get resentful so I'm sure there's a whole pile of you in here that are agreeable and resentful you know I'm sure you know who you are and one of the things I would mention and you should think about this because it'll help you a lot if you do it is that resentment is your best friend if something makes you resentful do not do it so or there's a more sophisticated rule which is if something makes you resentful there's only two possibilities one is that your sniveling and immature and you won't adopt your responsibilities and you're whining about it the other is that you're being pushed around and people are attempting to enslave you so you want to eliminate the first possibility right you got to think well it might just be an immature and whiny about this is it something that people are reasonably demanding of me and if you think that through and maybe you talk to some people about it you think no no this isn't reasonable then the resentment is telling you act act because otherwise that's what you'll be you'll end up 15 years especially if you're married or something like that with 8,000 things you're resentful about and then you know you'll be in some kind of painful divorce that lasts for ten years so better to nip it in the bud if someone is after you to do something and you don't feel like you're getting proper regard or proper response or you don't think it's fair it's like have some courage and get a hold of your anger and use it doesn't mean you're right but at least it means you can push the person hard enough so they have to engage in a dialogue with you and you know this is these are necessary skills like if you cannot do this you have to be able to say no to negotiate you have to be able to say no so you always want to put yourself in a position where you can do that that's part of being that's part of power and the other thing is do not let people push you around because you'll get pushed right into a corner and you'll end up as a slave and that's because there's tyranny slavery or negotiation that's what you've got yes then you're looking at it from the wrong perspective your your your level of analysis is wrong so you know it is society as a whole but what the hell good is that going to do you you can't complain to society as a whole you have to look for the micro manifestations that actually occur in your realm and work on those yeah and that's the only level of analysis you have any control over any ways fix the things that are within your realm of power and what will happen as a consequence of that is that your realm of power will grow but you start local because like what the hell do you know you're 19 or 20 or whatever it is like you have a you have a scrap with society it's like that's just an archetypal problem that's all it is because you don't know enough about society to have that opinion you know and I'm not being not being like I'm not trying to be cynical about this I am Telling You it it's an archetypal problem you know of course everybody who's young has a problem with society you're all at the bottom of the bloody dominance hierarchy unless you count the entire rest of the world in which case you're already in the top 1% right so you know that's worth thinking about too so on you know if you if you are involved in a battle in some sense with society you you're dominated by the figure of the great father the negative figure of the great father you also have to owe a lot of what you should do about that is increase your level of gratitude you know here you are it's warm the chair works the floor isn't gonna fall apart right you're at a prestigious institution you're well on your way to being one of the top 1% in society you're just too damn young right now for that to happen you're smart you're healthy you're good-looking except for that weird thing you're wearing around your head so like you know what the hell it's everything's good for you so I mean I know there's a tyrannical element there is it's real but but if that's all you see you're blinded and that's not good it'll warp you

Channel: THE BESTS

Views: 859,213

Keywords: Jordan Peterson, Jordan B Peterson, Jordan Peterson new, Psychology, Philosophy, Personality, personality disorders, self-improvement, Jordan Peterson 2020, Self Improvement, Jordan Peterson Personality, Jordan Peterson Personality Disorder, How to cure Personality Disorders, Motivation, Inspiration, How to improve myself, Self Help, Clinical Psychology, Depression, Jordan Peterson Depression, Jordan Peterson anxiety, Counseling, Jordan Peterson Psychology, ADHD Jordan Peterson, truth

Id: Vok3E2GLqT4

Length: 6min 19sec (379 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 06 2020