>> Stephen: WE'RE BACK,
EVERYBODY. MR. JOHN OLIVER, JOINING US HERE
ON OUR PROGRAM ALREADY IN PROGRESS. I UNDERSTAND CORRECT ME IF I'M
WRONG HERE, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THIS,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO ASK ABOUT HERE, BECAUSE YOU
ALREADY DECIDED NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT. >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: YOU ARE BEING
SUED-- RIGHT NOW. >> YES. >> Stephen: BY A COAL COMPANY. >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: WHAT CAN YOU TELL
ME. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> THIS IS YOU'RE TORTURING ME. >> Stephen: WHAT CAN YOU TELL
ME. >> I LITERALLY PROMISED MY
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER BEFORE I CAME HERE I WON'T TALK ABOUT IT AM
AND NOW WE'RE HERE. >> Stephen: SURE. >> WELL, THERE ARE MANY THINGS
THAT I WANT TO SAY, I'M BURSTING, LOOK INTO MY EYES,
THERE IS SO MUCH, SO MUCH. >> Stephen: I KNOW, I KNOW. >> SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY,
STEPHEN. >> Stephen: SO LET ME JUST SAY
A FEW THINGS AND YOU SIT THERE. >> OKAY, SURE, I WILL DO MY
POKER FACE. >> Stephen: IF YOU ARE
CURRENTLY BEING SUED BY COAL MAGAZINE NATE ROBERT
MURRAY-- MAGNATE ROBERT MURRAY. YOU TOLD A STORY THAT HE
RECEIVED INSTRUCTIONS. >> OH NO, I'M IN SO MUCH
TROUBLE, NOT WITH THE LAWSUITS-- . >> Stephen: HE THAT HE
RECEIVED INSTRUCTIONS ON STARTING HIS COAL COMPANY FROM A
SQUIRREL S THAT TRUE? AM I IN THE BALL PARK OF GETTING
YOU SUED AGAIN? AM I GOING TO BE SUED FOR ASKING
YOU THESE QUESTIONS. >> THIS IS HELL. I AM IN HELL RIGHT NOW. ALL I HAVE IS A SEQUENCE OF
THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD, OH, THIS WOULD BE FUNNY TO SAY, THIS
WOULD BE FUNNY, THIS WOULD BE INTERESTING AND THEN ANOTHER
THING GOING YOU'RE DEAD IF IT HAPPENS. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
LAWYER. >> OH YEAH. >> Stephen: IT IS-- IT IS NOT
DONALD TRUMP, JR.'S LAWYER, I HOPE. >> NO. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A BETTER
LAWYER. >> YOU'VE BEEN SUED, RIGHT. >> Stephen: I WAS THE FIRST
PERSON EVER SUED AT THE DAILY SHOW. >> OH MAAZEL TOV. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, THAT IS WHAT MY LAWYER SAID. I WAS SUED FOR CASUALLY NFERRING
THAT A RETIRED LAWYER IN CALIFORNIA MIGHT HAVE BEEN AKIN
TO HITLER AND AS A RETIRED LAWYER HE HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO
SUE ME. NOT A GOOD PERSON TO SAY THAT
ABOUT. >> DID YOU SETTLE? >> Stephen: WE WON, WE WON. >> I'M GOING TO DO THAT AS WELL,
OH GOD, THAT WAS TOO MUCH. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
S YOU'RE GOING TO WIN. SURE. JUST IN CASE. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: JUST IN CASE YOU
DON'T WIN, DID YOU SAVE THE ADDRESS OF WHERE ED SNOWDEN IS
LIVING RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE I'M SURE RUSSIA WOULD
LOVE TO HAVE YOU BACK. >> THEY WOULD LOVE THAT, THEY
HAVE THE DRILL WARMED UP AND READY. >> Stephen: THE STRANGEST
THING ABOUT RUSSIA TO ME IS IT SEEMS SO MUCH LIKE THE WEST. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN IT IS LIKE THE UNCANNY VALLEY OF THE WEST. YOU THINK IT'S WESTERN AND THEN
YOU GO WAIT, THAT'S NOT A LEAF, THAT'S A SPIDER PRETENDING TO BE
A LEAF, YOU KNOW THERE IS SOME WEIRD EVOLUTIONARY
MONKEY-- BRAIN THAT MAKES YOU SCOOT AWAYNESS CERTAINLY NOT
SOMETHING THAT I A RATIONAL PERSON THINKS I KNOW WHAT I DO
WILL, GET IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS COUNTRY, OR ALLY,
HYPOTHETICALLY BUT THAT WOULD EVER IN HAPPEN, NO ONE WOULD
EVER SUGGEST THAT, SOMETHING THAT INEXRENSABLY STUPID. -- INCOME PREHENCABLY STU WID. WE CAN'T LIVE IN THAT WORLD,
PLEASE TELL ME THAT WE DON'T. >> Stephen: I DONE LIVE IN
THAT WORLD. LAST WEEK TONIGHT AIRS SUNDAYS
ON HBO. NOT THIS SUNDAY BUT AFTER THAT. JOHN OLIVER, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MIKE
BIRBIGLIA.
I love them both, so much!
Allegedly.