Hey. Hey. Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you
about something I'm really uncomfortable
talking about. Sure. How about, uh, you
showering with your mom? I actually had
a topic in mind. I'm kind of going through
a dry spell... sex-wise. Oh. For, like, months? Five, to be... lying. Six. Six months? Whoa, that's rough. Please help me. I have a date tonight. It has to go well, okay? I'm scared for my health. Okay, okay. Um, ooh,
oh, I got something. Okay, it's this story
that I came up with. Very romantic. I swear, any woman that hears
it, they're like putty. Really? Well, then,
tell it to me. Okay. Now, you're going to want to have sex
with me when you hear it but you have to remember,
it is just the story. I'll try to control myself. Okay. ( clearing throat) Years ago,
when I was backpacking across Western Europe... You were backpacking
across Western Europe? Have a nice six more months,
Ross. Okay, okay!
I'm sorry. Please, please, you were
in Western Europe and...? I was just outside
of Barcelona hiking in the foothills
of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end
of this path and I came
to a clearing and there was a lake,
very secluded and there were
tall trees all around. It was dead silent,
gorgeous. And, across the lake I saw a beautiful woman
bathing herself but she was crying. Why? Mmm! This
is great wine. It's from France. In Europe. Western Europe. You know, um,
a few years ago uh, actually,
I was backpacking across Western Europe. Really?
Mm-hmm. Wait. It gets better. Um, yeah, I was in,
um, Barcelona. I studied for a year
in Barcelona. Anyway, so, I was...
um... I was hiking... I love hiking. Ahhh! That's great! I was hiking along
the foothills of Mount Tibidabo... I think it's
Tiba-DAH-bo. Okay, do you want
to tell the story?! Whoa. What are you doing here?
How'd your date go? Great. I'm across the street
having sex with her right now. The story sucks! Hey, look, if it didn't work it's 'cause you
didn't tell it right. Show me
how you did it. No. No, I don't
want to. How long since you've
seen a girl naked? I was backpacking
across Western Europe... I'm not feeling it. I was just outside
of Barcelona, hiking... No, no, Ross-- I'm not hot. Are you hot? It's been six months. I'm always hot. Well, you're not
selling the story. It's like you don't believe it. Look, I got to go. I got a date. But try this--
do what I do when I'm preparing
for an audition. I'll set you up
with my video camera and you can record yourself
and see what you're doing wrong. I'll try that. All right, now... you're all set up. Just hit "record,"
all right? Good luck. Thanks. And, hey, Joe, listen-- If you ever have any problem
with the ladies you know
I'll help you out. That means a lot
to me, man.
