Joe Rogan Experience #2158 - Harland Williams

Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day oh I I think I've known you for 30 years you know how crazy that is 31 is it really yeah wow I remember the day we met Baskin Robins on Melrose really yeah do we made it Basin Robins Basin Robbins I got one of those memories like uh the girl from Taxi oh do you really got mint chocolate chip double scoop and I had peanut butter and chocolate I think you're making this up well I think you're making this up he's making this up I like let's see how this goes yeah as soon as he was saying he's got a memory like the lady from Taxi I was like and I couldn't even remember her name that lady's got a crazy memory she does she can tell you like dates in 1972 what day it was dude I bumped into it a sushi joint once and she reenacted the day lost my virginity it's unbelievable wow she remembered it how she know it she alien no it was her oh really yeah she popped my cherry she was hot back in the day she drove my taxi o yeah she uh acted as your Depot wait what's her name Mary Lou retina no what is it close Mary Lou Iris no cornea Coria Mary L cornea where was her name Retton Rett that's the gymnast she's the gymnast what was her name is it Marley Matlin that's the DEA chick yeah that's the one that everybody had to pretend was really good at acting but she did win an Oscar didn't she Mary L Henner oh that's she did the tampon commercials did she yeah and who better to do them than a Tumblr they get guys to do them now yeah it's a new world yeah yeah there she is back in the day when she was on Taxi she was hot but you can't ever lie to her yeah she knows everything like you didn't you're like I didn't say that like not only did you say that you were wearing this yeah yeah she just knows it all yeah unbelievable that's probably a real issue in relationships you can't you can never argue with her about who is right she remembers it yeah 100% you're you got a foggy ass [ __ ] normal human like how good's your memory my memory is not that good maybe she's an elephant I don't think their memor is that good they say they are yeah but like [ __ ] that you would remember too right like how often do you watch one of those nature shows and you see like elephants wandering around aimlessly and you know they're looking for their car cuz they can't remember where they parked idiots imagine if elephants could drive that would be a real problem how big would their [ __ ] car be how big would the roads have to be wow if anybody else any other animals start developing Electronics I think we just kill them yeah like what the [ __ ] are you doing over there like we wouldn't be cool with chimps fastening their own weapons if they started making guns if Chip starts smelting iron like figuring out ballistics you see chimps on the Range like like hey hey hey only us yeah well isn't that what Planet of the Apes is all about like similar they evolve to the point where wasn't the new one like experiments wasn't it like some kind of experiments on how it's on how it like picked off like there were there were new like back in the day it was like a time machine thing like they went right like the really old ones a time machine and you go forward in time and you realize like oh my God the apes are now humans and they land so far in the future on Earth you know who wrote that one Rod Sterling oh did he really Twilight [ __ ] man he was way ahead of his time with everything genius so many good episodes you go back watch the Twilight zones like go no production value no money for special effects incredible show and that's what was part of their charm but the music every everything worked and if you look at a lot of modern-day movies they were predicated on those old shows like Chucky there's an old episode with Telly seales Taki Tina hi I'm Taki Tina and I'm going to kill you this was a doll remember yeah fast forward to Chucky that demented redheaded freckle-faced freak look at that there she is Taki Tina you know what my favorite one was to serve man oh yeah it's a cookbook yeah and then Juliet child's walks out of the UFO yeah yeah hello everybody we're going to serve your children what did the aliens look like on to serve man it was very bizarre yeah they had giant bulbous heads there it is there it is yeah they look like Herman monster without the hair how look how bad those [ __ ] makeup is you can see where it's glued to his cheek you can see everything it's so shitty like you do better than that in a High School Musical speaking of human cookbooks I have a buddy who just had a kid and they he told me him and his wife made placenta smoothies and I'm sitting here going what if you love them what if you love the taste your own kid and one day you're with Billy at the park and you're just looking at him and you're like you know you start licking your lips like he sure did taste good and then cannibalism and you eat your own kid I don't I don't think it's actually eating your own kid I think it's eating the nutrients that provide nourishment to the kid while it's in the womb it's not you're not eating the kid the kid is separate from the placenta yeah the kid is an actual Oh I thought it was covered like you know when a when a gazelle drop drops its baby on the Kalahari and it like licks all that that film off it isn't that placenta or is that just like a pasta sauce it's like carbonara uh I think that is placenta right I mean it probably must be so isn't that what human kids have don't they have like Gaz it's not the kid itself it's the nutrients that the kid was consuming while they were in the W I believe obviously I'm not a doctor yeah look at this this one going to drop it they eat that she about to drop boy how vulnerable are they when they're giv birth like [ __ ] yeah and half of those kids get snatched up immediately by a cat yeah some cats or wild dogs or something come run over and steal your baby and that's it you Carri that thing around inside of you for months you love it more than anything in life they'll protect it like yeah like obviously they have like this insane connection with that baby and then it gets snatched away by a cat it literally doesn't get its first bleach out yeah like it it lifts it set and then bong that's one of the things that people have to be very aware about in North America what bears what bears are doing to deer and moose the same thing like half of the like if you really love deer and moose and Elk stuff like that half of those animals babies got eaten by bears yeah they they eat like half of the babies that come out half half yeah like you know in a it's a good thing in a good ecosystem to call the herd yeah well it's just it's not even just to call the herd it's just to that's how that's what they're there for like it's a system we we look at it like it's this beautiful thing because it is beautiful you see these animals and the Wild and nature but what it is it's a system it's like a mathematical system you have numbers and the amount of predators is based on the amount of prey and the amount of babies they have and the amount of babies that survive and you know animals that have less babies don't survive as well animals that are bigger fight off the Wolves better it's like there's a whole system a whole system and it trickles down right to the vegetation and the ecosystem you know this like if they remove the Wolves then the elk and Caribou herds expand and they start eating all the growth on the river banks causing erosion the river flatten now it just so so you have to have those Predators so I'm glad they're eating half and I'm going to if they're listening eat 3/4s if they weren't eating half we would be overrun by by deer and and elk and you like you you'd have a situation where you have like in New Zealand where they have to fly over the hills and just gun them down moose in New Zealand in New Zealand New Zealand's a wild place literally but it's beautiful so beautiful they got there in I get the 1700s or something like that maybe the 1800s and these European settlers these European explorers like this place is so beautiful but it doesn't have any things for us to kill why don't we bring in a bunch of wild animals from Europe that we like to kill and so they turned it into like a wild game safari park for hunting Jesu yeah so there's all these animals like Stags and all these different kinds of deer all these animals that are not supposed to be in New Zealand they're everywhere just overwhelming like if you buy elk like if you go go to a restaurant and you buy elk tenderloin most likely that elk is coming from New Zealand no yeah there's elk in New Zealand a lot of elk in New Zealand and it's probably they probably are allowed to consider stag elk too I don't think they they I don't that's a good question I don't know they're so similar they're such a similar animal they probably taste exactly the same the only the elk have a cool sound but Stags have a really cool stag sound like a lion you ever heard of stag Roar yeah it's really [ __ ] cool and then when they mate the the the male Elks do that whistle you know that sounds like a they're playing a a picol this what a weird noise yeah look at his penis going up and down oh yeah they jizz all over themselves wow well I've seen elk do it where they just piss all over themselves while they're screaming they're screaming Elks are even cooler give me an elk an elk bugle elk bugle I think is the coolest sound the world oh me bro if you didn't know if you didn't know if you were in the dark and you were in the en camping and you were to elk bugle and you didn't know what that was you think oh my God there's monsters out here yeah yeah there it is couldn't you imagine that being a Monster yeah it's sort of like an instrument imagine if it's dark out you hear that you're like [ __ ] it's demons [Music] yeah that's kind of Haunting and scary that's the greatest animal and then they go into uh the um the L the big cats go into a flemon you know this flemon I ran into problems with girlfriends cuz of this it's like when when the female lions or the leopards they they get ripe you know what I mean ready to party let's go the uh the Lions and the cheetahs and the they do this thing where they smell the female scent and they you know they do this thing where they they curl their lip up yeah and it's like a sexual thing and that I I for some reason I don't know why but I do that when I'm about to get into some love making you do a little bit of that do you like embody the lion I don't know I just have the thing and and and they never stick around yeah Fleming response takes place when one Lion of either sex sniffs or smells the urine of another chemicals and hormones contained in the urine elicit the Fleming resp response usually after smelling the urine patch on the ground or vegetation the cat is doing the smelling will lift its head his or her head and hold their lips back in a strong Grimace let me see it yeah and I got it's just like him look I got to start dating girls that wipe I guess look at that face that urine imagine looking at that right before it [ __ ] closes down on your neck and go oh yeah I'm not getting out of this there is [ __ ] No Escape there's no hip Escape there's no jiujitsu move there's no there's no poking to the eye that's a wrap it's a wrap look at that mouth that is a wrap a rapity rap I had a moment when I was on Safari in Africa where it's the only time in my life I started shaking we we we were on a private Land Rover we came up on two male lions that had just made a kill we were literally probably I'd say 25 ft from them and one of them got up and we're in the open Land Rover right with no no protection no windows that is such [ __ ] so we got the guy driving from our camp and this thing one of them got up walked halfway to us and just did that that burning stare with its golden eyes oh my God and I was holding the and my hand cuz it one of the few times in my life I felt like I was in death's door like that that lion could have been on me in 2 seconds and it was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time how do they know that the Lions won't jump into the the cab and pull people out they they get acclimated to these kind of clunky things and they look I believe me I know Nature's unpredictable trust do you have to have well I said to our driver he was parked in front of a stump I said I said to him I said dude I know you do this every day get away from the stump we need to have an exit strategy yeah and so he goes we'll be fine I said no move from The Stomp cuz nature you don't know when Nature's going to did you know that it was going to be an open air thing yeah yeah and you were cool with that yeah it's beautiful but I didn't know we were going to come up on two male lions that were in the middle of eating a wilderbeast and be the only ones there and like 25 ft away and one of them is going to shorten the Distance by half God was this before or after the lady from Game of Thrones who was the video editor she's one of the video editors of Game of Thrones she got pulled out of a car by oh she did yeah she got K well there you go there's your answer yeah it can happen I think it was a different situation though I don't think they were acclimated to the open air ones cuz in this one it was cars and she rolled her window down to reach out to take a picture and the cat just snatched her oh idiot it's like a toy I mean you you're basically rolling a piece of yarn if you see if a cat sees a thing that he couldn't get but now we can get it yeah they their instinct is just to get it yeah like even if they never would do that if the windows would roll down from the beginning the moment they see you peeking out like you're basically like dangling this a video of it just a picture this is how it happened yeah oh God that's so horrible man oh my god look how big that thing is Imagine That pulling you out of the [ __ ] car oh my God so I was in Florida once and I was doing a gig like on one side of Florida and had to cross over to the other side and in between were you walking no no no Daddy had a here's where it got clunky right I rented a convertible right cuz it's it's Florida right so I had time to kill so I looked on the thing halfway across there's a lion safari where you can drive through right and you drove through in a convertible no so I pulled up and they said sir you can't go through with a conver able but for 10 extra dollars we'll rent you one of our little junkers and the junkers were painted like a zebra because it was a lion Park so they painted them with stripes it was like a piece of crap that was just meant to go through the two mile Park and out so it's like a million degrees it's Florida it's Tuesday on a at 1 in the afternoon no one's there cuz I'm cutting across the country this is like a weim place they put me in this zebra mobile I'm all alone in this park I get right in the middle of the lion thing there's like 60 Lions the car conks out 300° no AC cuz it's an old junker and I just got 60 line just going zebra and I'm just sitting there no one's coming God Daddy's sitting there in the in the pride to sit there for I sat there for about 15 20 minutes till they came and I got to crack the window cuz it's like it's like a dog in a Walmart parking lot and it was and I I'm sitting there going I'm I'm a zebra I'm sitting there I'm a zebra you could die of heat exposure in there or by getting mauled by a pride Alliance does that mean they're gay if it's a pride Alliance by the way no Pride isn't always gay okay they look gay to me Pride didn't used to be gay he used to be like you're were proud of something one of them had their hair fluffed out he looked pretty gay it's actually in the Bible Lions they're gay pride pride it's not good wait what are we same thing is it the same thing I don't know it's in the Bible it's one of the sins what Pride yeah oh yeah it's one of the uh yeah there six like so why would you make a thing that is like I have American Pride I love America I do have American Pride I'm I'm a patriot I think this is an amazing Place yeah uh so I have pride so does that mean I'm gay or does it mean I'm sinning hm H well if it's just the verb you're just you you know what I'm saying it's like what a flexible word if you trying to learn American English like how we use things like or just English and you spoke another language that was more logical you'd be like what the [ __ ] why don't you have different words yeah why do you have the same word that means such different things like the word Rose isn't there like seven different meanings for the word rose fler rose up Rose of corn right yeah yeah like it's just like right I didn't think of rose of corn yeah yeah Rose the boat yeah oh my God there's so many that's so stupid well there's two there there's RC and R WS same sound did you run out of sounds yeah you could didn't to make a new pronoun sounds every day yeah he could have called Rose of corn like clonk of corn yeah something that that doesn't make me [ __ ] confused especially if I'm learning the language like I speak Portuguese or something like hold on my friend this is the same word like what the [ __ ] are you saying what a goofy you need so much context to be able to like figure out I think English is supposed to be one of the most difficult languages to learn I think Russian's very hard Chinese is very hard man very hard manity is that what you said mandrin like Chinese oh God imagine like you can speak it but you can't read it or write it CU that happens with a lot of Asian languages like to to learn Japanese it's like speaking Japanese is hard but now you have to learn how to read it and write it like that's extra hard I got a story for you about that a little later did you learn Japanese I sort of well Vietnamese I sort sort of had to were you in n h possibly I did two tours in n and I got to say Sunquest bus lines the best tourist oh God air conditioned buses V thing two tours yeah right tours yeah very different meaning if you're talking M Vietnam in 1967 huge difference big difference and I found out um do you mind if I just dip into uh I brought a little something I have to do it about every 20 minutes I do apologize what is it I have to I have an eating thing I have to do really well if you don't mind no no not at all no thank you oh God what is your eating thing h I'm a little embarrassed but um I have a tapeworm for real yeah like a it's about almost 4 feet have you ever had one you really do yeah I never know with you you know I don't know if I should feel bad or start mocking you well you can do whatever I I didn't want to bring if I feel bad if it's true you have a real tape worm I do how'd you get it you think I was in the Galapagos Islands recently recently and uh we they have a a a rodent over there called The Bermuda eel rat and it's not it's not a documented species it's the it's the local jargon mhm everything evolves in as you know through Darwin everything evolved over in uh in in the Galapagos the tortoises everything it's a unique place where Evolution took place and I guess this WAP became a bit elongated it's spine and so they call it the came off of originally off of Bermuda like uh transport ship or something right and so they eat it over there and I ate the damn thing and I got a parasite that led to a tape worm and she's about a 4-footer what do they do to get out get it out well they have uh pills um but this is I don't even know if I should talk about this but I was a little odd I sort of got attached to the little fow oh you like having it now well you know we we hear all this talk about you know women and men and men can have babies they're telling men they can have children a little baby tape for them well let's just say I have something living inside me and I sort of like it I sort of like sometimes I can feel it moving around sometimes I'll put a piece of cheese in the bed at night and it'll come out and if feel like I have a tail and uh so what I have to do is I have to I have to eat celery well what it does it reacts to the vibration of sound and celery's kind of got the best kind of crunch and it kind of settles the guy down okay just I just need to take a couple of bites okay go ahead sure well if you're going to laugh you have to do this about every 20 minutes for the tapeworm yeah settles him down I think you're going to a bad doctor I think you're getting bad advice no I just mean for me for you this is like a self-medicating yeah I think they can get rid of those things man no but what I'm saying I've grown attached to Demitri probably like um you know have a forced labor but I like Demetri yeah but you can't keep a baby inside you forever the whole idea is the baby gets born and then it goes out hold on Dr Spock these suckers can grow up to 30 feet long mine's a 4-footer can they really get that big how do they know how big yours is would they do an MRI or something well they did we did an ultrasound and they can see the tape see it do you got a picture of that I don't have a picture handy how do you not have a picture on your phone of that my kid of little Demitri yeah seems like he'd be really sad if you didn't have a picture of him I got to bring one in when I come back next week I'll bring one in tapeworms or cesto stesto cestodes can range in length 1 meter up to 50 feet 50 ft dude 15 M the length and width of the tapeworms can vary depending upon species wow um pork beef fish tape worms can grow to be 15 to 30 feet oh God and Bermuda eel rats yeah do they have that there how'd that rat taste you know it's kind of good you know they season it up with the Galapagos seasoning and it's kind of like blackened catfish but it's like Galapago seasoning so you think all those people that live there probably have tapeworms I don't know if they have it but I sure got it they have to have it if you got it that must mean everybody has it unbelievable there's uh places the world that like especially like tropical places where most people have some kind of parasite it just becomes a part of like your body you're you you now exist with that thing in you forever you know have you ever had a tape worm no I have not you want one no thanks what's the worst thing you've ever had like the worst weird ailment staff infection no way how many people on your staff it was a small business wow yeah wow yeah just one employee what's a staff infection it's uh it's an infection that you get on your skin and uh it's like a bacterial infection exactly it's really common in Jiu-Jitsu and uh a lot of people get it and they don't recognize it Ari actually had it and Ari didn't know he had it until I pointed it out and we got him to the hospital like right away Ari and I were playing pool and he was limping I'm like why you and he goes I got a spider bite and I go let me see it and he pulls his pants up and his knee he has this swollen like pimple on his knee and the puss at the end of it I go dude you have a staff infection I go we got to get you to the hospital right now he goes are you serious it's lethal yeah people die if it get systemic if staff infections get systemic if your body becomes septic like you could die yeah people have died from staff it happens all the time yeah people get it in hospitals a lot don't they yeah and unfortunately in hospitals they get something called Mera and Mera is M medication resistant staff infection wow a lot of black gospel singers get that I hear merca oh that's Mercy I'm sorry what were you saying Jamie didn't you say were you didn't you say something oh I thought I heard you I thought you about numbers of people dying staff infection yeah I thought I heard how many people a year die from staff infections I think it's a big number wow I know quite a few people that that have been deathly ill from staff infections had to go to the hospital and get their legs cut open and get their their legs drained yeah yeah it's a horrible horrible thing to watch like it eats holes in people you've watched staff infection surgeries no no no I mean I've seen them online uh 2017 the center of Disease Control prevention reported that almost 20,000 people in the United States died from bloodstream infections caused by staff that's 20 17 it killed 20,000 people yeah so that's the worst thing I've had for sure how long did it last didn't didn't last very long cuz I caught it I got real lucky I caught it quick I was at a airport with my friend Tate and I had these little um pimples on my calf and he goes uh he goes hey uh what is that on your calf I go I don't know it's something and he goes do I think that's staff I go really he goes yeah you should get it looked at so immediately I went to dermatologist and he's like yeah it looks like staff and he put me in an biotics before they even got the results of the test back he put you on it not your cow my cow I thought you said your calf calf like leg part of your leg that one that one you really went out there with that one that's the worst thing do you really have a tape wor I do for real yes please and what do they they have you on Ivor meon what they have you on they don't have they just you can't get it they all they do is kill it it lives it can live in your system they told me for your whole life right yeah you ever seen Bears they have them like sticking out of their ass like a [ __ ] hose like a garden hose just hang D you ever seen the uh the worms that come out of praying mantises oh yeah they're like they're like huge they put a praying mantis in water and that bastard must not have been praying enough cuz it's got a tape worm longer than Dolly Parton's ass hair not only that those worms those aquatic worms trick grasshoppers into drowning themselves they could be B what are you doing man don't do that no the pulp I know but don't just grab it and put it on the table I know but it was I felt like I was chewing cud well I put it I put it on this other celery okay I would never put cud on your table stop the celery please well I don't want Demitri to get upset you need to reach into your [ __ ] and pull Demitri out well you need to like you know like with your shoulders down the ground ass up here just get it get in there Joseph and give birth Joseph dial it down I'm not GNA does he ever turtle on you yes does he that's why I call him Dimitri one night I put out a piece of feta cheese the Greek stuff and he went nuts came out came out huh have you ever seen a uh uh a Burmese python yes I had a lady friend over and I guess little Dmitri got jealous and she I I woke up all I heard was and uh I looked over he was yeah unbelievable how are you laying spooning like where's her face is it like right with your asses well we spoon upside down so feeling it makes sense she uses her my nose like a bicycle rack you have to come out yeah it's not pretty but he's my boy how long is it going to take to kill him I don't want to kill him this is why I'm no but for real for real how long is it going to take to kill it well once you take those pills you can kill it like within about 3 days and you're not taking the pills no I'm telling you guy you know I feel like I have a boy inside me well wait a minute like a child okay well good luck with that thank you if you see I want to see a photo of those bears the bears that have it it's so disgusting it looks like like enormous spaghetti falling out their ass oh have you ever been attacked by a bear no holy I'm here right from here you you look at that there are survivors and I can that tapeworm coming out of his [ __ ] how crazy is that wow looks like he just got married you should put tin cans on the end of those look me that's [ __ ] he's just hoping someone steps on it so he could pull it out of his ass yeah looks like he was parachuting and he and and he landed and he's dragging the parachute I mean how insane is that wow it's so I mean their whole body is just a disgusting mess yeah like when you eat bears you eat Bear yeah I've eaten bear Grizz black bear black bear black bear black bear not Griz no I've never had one of those what's what's why why'd you eat black bear well hunted them yeah yeah they have to but I heard it's kind of a Musky kind of weird taste no it really depends on what they've been eating eating but most unfortunately most of those bears are probably eating calves moose calves and and fawns deer fawns they tasted good black bears are kind of like goats though they'll eat just about anything they eat a lot do you know that in the early days the Pioneers used to eat bear and they' use deer for skin say again they just use deer skins they just use the the hide from Deer they were eating bear they ate bear more than they ate anything else is that right yeah is that crazy well maybe there was a reason for that because the bear was a threat to them so maybe it's like let's kill the thing that could kill our cattle or kill our children and let's eat that versus the docile this is just a theory I just came up it's a good theory that makes sense you would definitely want to kill the thing that's killing your food and if you could eat it too all the better and apparently they thought it tasted the most like beef whereas like venison is different venison has its own taste mhm yeah so they ate a lot of bear black uh black bears are dangerous but Grizzles are the one you got to be careful about they're all dangerous man they're all bears I don't know if can I can I share something with you please do I'm a blueberry nut like I I like I'm like blueberry when blueberry season hits in early spring I'm I'm nuts about it how's Demitri feel about that well he like celery don't give him Berry how dare you make fun of my boy Joe anyway blueberries so uh this was about 7 years ago I'm up on a hill in B out in Canada the Rocky Mountains Grizz you know Grizz and I'll I'll use a line from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang remember caradus pots he was the uh father to Dick van djk and he used this line where he's singing he goes uh he's doing a song and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and he does a line where he goes and the bear came aiping over the mountain and I'm sitting there picking blueberries and this Behemoth comes flying over the hill so that was a grizzly bear it was a Grizz and uh when they attack they roll you they roll and Claw and uh I've never done this but you're such a dork Fu what do you mean well is that a real [ __ ] tattoo let me see that again let me see that again dude this is not easy for me to talk about the bear came a loping over the mountain and uh that tattoo belongs to a mechanic in Idaho and you need give it back to him Jo let me see it again what the let me see it again the bear came a loping over the mountain what how dare you is that the longest anyone's everever gone for a gag that's that is yeah that's the furthest anyone's ever gone you actually got it tattooed on your chest well hang on guy I'm trying to tell you I got attacked by a [Laughter] Grizz you know [Laughter] what oh my God they probably be hery chewing celery and you know what I did I did a thing I vented it called the the uh jelly roll cuz I'm in the blueberries the only way to evade the Grizz I roll down the hill he's ripping my chest chest right down the hill into a river boom bouncing around like Moses tuberculosis teeth you making jelly as you roll through the yeah I'm I'm crushing the yeah and this bear was just befuddled just stood there looked like Forest Gump with a Chinese dildo up his ass H now mountain lion on the other hand can I share something with you does it involve another tattoo well no the mountain lion what the [ __ ] is that he scar did you glue those on what the [ __ ] is wrong with the mountain lion scrapes he digs in with his claws Jes Christ what is wrong with you can a guy have adventure stories in nature yeah that those that makeup artist whoever did that they're like from The Twilight Zone same person same person who did that [ __ ] that alien's head it fell off hey you're healing by the power of Jesus oh God you're healing helping but here's where I talked to you earlier about learning Mandarin here's the difference between the evolution of nature mammals fritters right and human beings cut to about 8 years ago I'm on the McKenzie river and there's white water like you wouldn't believe little Vietnamese boy kid named Kimmy long wow freckles on his face unbelievable tips okay Bears wild cats they just scratch the ingenuity the intelligence of a human I jump in grab little Kimmy long wow he starts scratching me can I show you something look at this this kid scratched the [ __ ] out of me and even in a panick state I had to learn mandrin this is was the Night Before Christmas well jeez man unbelievable what was his name again little Kimmy long wow he had freckles on his face it looked like um Dolly Parton serving apple cobbler if he joined them he was Vietnamese Vietnamese boy Kim be long w why would a Vietnamese kid have freckles that seems uncommon that's what was so weird that's how he stood out amongst all the other boys child of an American GI I don't know but just unbelievable kid to see a little Vietnamese boy with freckles you don't get that how many American v v like that was always a thing like those Chuck Norris action movies remember like missing an action yeah there was always about guys that were still stuck over there and we had to go get them everybody kind of forgot about that are those the guys that inspired you like Norris oh yeah definitely yeah Bruce Lee like when you were a kid did you sneak into the movies I went to the movies and then on television too when I was a kid like the first uh Bruce Lee movie I ever saw was on television yeah I couldn't believe it I was like look at that guy that's insane how's he doing that but like uh those missing in action movies was all about missing PS and then we always us talk that was always a thing that like the PS from Vietnam got left behind yeah and like you know Chuck Nar is gonna go back and get them and set them free and yeah how many PS got left behind in Vietnam cuz that's a that's a [ __ ] thing man Not only was it a [ __ ] War but people went over there and they left him there John McCain remember him the Poli yeah he was a a prisoner for years he's his shoulders were all [ __ ] up to the he couldn't he couldn't put his arms down like he was I remember I went on a roller coaster with him once and uh at the end of it I was like guy we're it's done and he was still that's how crazy Trump is Trump trump made a fun of him getting caught yeah no he Trump said well I like guys that didn't get caught yeah what the [ __ ] are you saying like you were going to run away you would run away would you be yeah if you're his enemy he doesn't give a [ __ ] he'll say anything you're skewed you are skewed even if it doesn't make any sense he'll say it like what guys who don't get caught what yeah how can you [ __ ] say that about a war hero it's like Jesus Christ yeah that's true it's wild crazy but he's my enemy [ __ ] him yeah no no P's bar battle mode how many American soldiers got left behind in Vietnam I was trying to find a and this is by the way they're not going to tell you the real number right they're not no they didn't tell you why we're going into the war in the first place I'm sure the the even the death count is probably disputed who knows have you ever romanticized being in combat like that even though it's the death zone have you ever like CU you're a hunter you're skilled with the uh the rifle have you ever sort of imaginary like immersed yourself into a Vietnamese like battle scene no no nor nor could I imagine those guys who got they got conscripted you know they got drafted right so you didn't even want to do it maybe you just wanted to build cars maybe you want to be a painter and all of a sudden you're over there with a rifle and you're you're in the dark in the jungle but does the hunter side of you go in there and imagine like you could excel in that environment no the hunter is a totally different experience the hunt the hunting side of me is like dipping my toe into the natural world like getting my food the hard way yeah that's the the hunter in me is going out and finding food and interacting with nature but the the elk are not my enemy I love them right but is there a thrill to the kill though there has to be a moment of sort of adrenaline and Jubilation when you man ERS Beast does that exist The Thrill Is that you pulled off a difficult thing it's very hard to do and it's very hard to make a shot with a bow and arrow on an animal it's hard in a lethal shot and to be able to do it consistently to do it every time you hunt to be able to make a lethal shot and I'm talking about it like 50 yards 60 yards oh wow do you strictly use bow and arrow yes oh I didn't know that I thought you had rifles I shoot with rifles I I killed a pig last year with a rifle wow what the farmers sausage it was a wild one they actually had to kill pretty big 200 lb Texas no this was in California and so I ate him just the other day was she sag no it was a boy was a boy Pig no I said was she sag I know what you're saying California is that a joke an actor joke yeah I got you I got you what was I saying though what was I on about well you were talking about oh the hunting war war to me is insane I don't know War to me is like I don't want to have nothing nothing to do with that I would know there's no little piece of you that you're in the dark jungle that's someone's boy that's someone's baby boy I don't think of it even as a man it's someone's baby boy that I don't know that guy has parents and they probably love him and he probably has a wife and she loves him and he probably has friends and they love him I like it that you said that and then some [ __ ] politician is telling me that that guy's my enemy I bet that guy and I if we could speak the language we'd have a beer together and have a good time he probably doesn't want to have anything to do with killing me and I don't want to have anything to do with killing him and we're both being suckered into this thing by a bunch of [ __ ] who are just making money I love that answer Joe if I could fly over this table and hug you I would a we hug a lot but it reminds me of a movie did you ever see this old movie with Lee Marvin and I can't remember the other actor he was a Japanese actor but this was a movie I think in the 60s where they're both in the war the Japanese pilot and Lee Marvin they both crashed on a remote island Supreme enemies and they only had each other and a box of Saki somehow got stranded on the island and they became the best friends in the world and I think if everyone looked through that prism in life they would forget about all the war and the violence when you realize someone else is exactly like you exactly and that you need someone else and they have the same fears desires passions and wants as you it's such a beautiful movie you know it's we're all the freaking same whenever you get into an altercation with someone you feel disliked towards someone you should always just pit yourself trapped on an island with that person and go you know what if I were alone with them I would love them they'd be my best friend you'd figure it out it's a mental thing if everyone kind of adopted that mentality I think we'd things would be nice things could be a lot better we're just we're divided by so many things in this world we're divided by politics we're you hear like Robert dairo screaming in front of people about Trump like horrible what are you doing like what is this like this is like silly behavior all this is so silly not only that labeling them calling them clowns and and denigrating them saying you're less than me because I like this and you like that it's all insane do you remember the there was a beautiful experiment done by Jane Elliott in the 1960s where she took a classroom of children and she said all the children with brown eyes raise your hands and all the children with blue eyes raise your hands and she separated them and she if you can find it on YouTube she told all the blue-eyed children that they were they were beautiful they were smarter they they were they were they were more Superior than the brown-eyed children and she conducted this uh experiment for a week and over the course of the days the blueeyed children started denigrating and looking down on the brown browney children and acting Superior and then halfway through the experiment Jane Elliott goes oh I made a mistake it's the brown-eyed children that are more Superior and so the whole thing shifted and all the children in that class got to feel what it was like to be uh put down to uh you know have racism towards them it was a fascinating experiment it's it's on YouTube if you ever want to watch it's it's it's mesmerizing it's an interesting experience but like what the [ __ ] lady you're playing tricks on kids well I think she was trying to Dem she I get you're demonstrating but you're also tricking these kids into thinking that way well I think she was setting the table for them in life saying hey maybe don't think you're better than anyone we're all the same and don't let people tell you you're better than everyone and and it was also a social experiment that was documented too so there was a would you let your kid do that do that kind of experiment yeah if they didn't know would you let them sign up for that yeah and talk [ __ ] to the blue-eyed kids uh you know what i' I'd let my kid I would hope I would have told my kid a long time ago that that would be nonsense and that they wouldn't believe that right I I would teach my kid that but uh to it's one thing to tell a kid something and then to let something play out in the real world is it's a different thing people humans have a tendency to get caught up in the fever of things you know like like Co like like politics politics like all of this stuff yeah anytime anytime any sort of international conflict Palestine and Israel go Ukraine and Russia you have a sect of people that sort of know what's what and then you have a large sect of people that just get caught up in the fur of it and it's it's scary to see how quickly people are absorbed by it and and caught up in it it's frightening well that's you ever been to a protest no protests feel like like a mob it feels dangerous when there's a bunch of people walk around even if it's peaceful and they're cheering especially if they're cheering about something that happened that was violent and they're angry and they're demanding something and they're all marching it's like you that that I think that ignites in human beings the same feelings of War yeah does my does my cough button still busted Jamie or do you swap that out okay it's going to be a pain in the ass to swap it we had a cough I don't think it's working there you want to try no no it's just a flim well I'm good to go I don't need celery please friend no thank you why I don't have any tape worms and I don't enjoy celery can't you I peanut butter do you have any peanut butter this [ __ ] might have peanut butter there how about a cauliflower no that's not the same thing well it's got the same letters in it no no no doesn't have all of them it's missing the B I thought you like cauliflower no well now what am I going to do just put it down well what were we just talking about before that Vietnam are you okay guy yeah I just got this Flem thing maybe you've got Fleming maybe wa W ooh I like that oh imagine what they can smell you ever do that noise when you're making love no my wife what the [ __ ] are you doing dude it's Primal women love should get up and leave no I here's an experiment from me to you I want you to try that animal noises next time you're making love not to get into your P I respect your personal space but doggy style right by her ear Carl just started barking listen to Carl listen to Carl [Music] Wow have you ever seen Carl do that has Carl ever done that before a few noises in here i' woke him up but he's wow he's fired up that's crazy look at he really believes I have a like if calling dogs was a thing I'd have like a really good career and call dog let's hear your growl yeah good dude you Carl believes it you got to try that with your wife Carl oh sorry Carl po Carl oh God he thinks he's walked into a wolf pack yeah he's like someone's going to eat me this is [ __ ] these guys have been pretending to be my friends I'm they' been let me bite their fingers the whole time they're setting me up dude I'm telling you try that try that with the w okay we got to try Carl poor Carl okay poor little Carl poor Carl he's like what the [ __ ] that's a good good noise thank you where did you where did you acquire that skill cuz I learned it when we had when I had a puppy I would I would try to I like to communicate to animals in their own language if you can right do you you have dogs right yeah but I just talk to him you don't he hardly ever barks he very very very rarely barks he'll bark if he has to go outside like if he has diarrhea he'll bark like he get by the door and go [ __ ] CH help me out whoa or he'll bark if he sees something he used to you know what he used to bark Carl's done huh wow he's terrifi he's TI No he wants to bite us man he's a little little gangster um he'll you you remember those um inflatable snowmen that people would have on their front lawn around Christmas time he barks at those what your dog why I don't know he thinks it's a thing he like like what's to tell me there's a big animal there he's like letting me know yeah he's like Dad what the [ __ ] is that thinks it's a Yeti like one of those AB bonable snowman I bet he thinks it's a bear I bet it's just like I bet in a dog's mind there's a shape that his two arms just stands up big and you go bark bark bark yeah and I I have go dude that is just that's a snowman don't worry about it I love it that your dog has a diarrhea bark he has a I got to go out now bark but you said diarrhea what that one sound like same thing it's basically hey I got the Run let's go to Taco Bell I got a funny video that I'll send to Jamie and then we we go watch it because it was him last night because last night he hadn't gone out in like 4 hours and uh there was thunderstorms outside and when there thunderstorms outside he [ __ ] freaks out he freaks out like I can't watch t with him when when there's thunderstorms he just like when we watch TV together we uh we sit on the the couch and we cuddle and so I sit like this and he like puts his head like on my lap what kind of dog is this golden retriever sweetest dog of all time sometimes I don't even hear it you know because I'm watching the movie but all of a sudden he'll he starts like spinning around C like dude chill out and then he just jumps off the couch jumps back on the couch kisses me off the couch back on the couch like so last night Jamie I just sent this to you last night uh he had a pee I'm like I know you have to pee it's like midnight come on bro like look at this he kept jumping at he kept jumping at me this is all just because of the lightning oh wow folks the best but he's a giant [ __ ] when it comes to lightning dude please go pee you beat Four Hours come on I love you too come keep jumping at me he's just all he does is just jump at me you got to pee I know it's but normally he'd just go out and pee 100% he literally never does this WOW but he's wagging his tail he loves it I mean he's excited right he's his Tail's not between his legs but he's just freaked out maybe he's got the diarrhea but he's afraid to start so he doesn't get electrocuted yeah wow Marshall I know but you got to pee dude come on go potty Marshall please go potty oh my God he wouldn't pee I had to bring him back in the house he just would not pee he just was just wanted to jump up and just freaked out he wanted to make sure that I was okay like I I'm with him you're okay like he wants to be on top of you when the Lightning's happening weird yeah he's just like are we okay I'm like we're okay like as long as I'm okay he thinks it's okay he's like we got to get the [ __ ] out of here like his instincts are like we're not supposed to be out in the open this is dangerous wait how old is he seven oh so you'd think by now he'd sort of have it figured out the way animals do well the thing is when he was young until he was uh I guess 3ish we moved here four years ago and he never really saw lightning like very rarely do you see lightning in California yeah you're right or hear thunder yeah very rarely do have those kind of crazy storms they have out here the storms they have out here are [ __ ] wild some guy posted a video yesterday Jamie on Instagram of his car getting destroyed by hail oh in Texas like some insane like 4 in hail chunks you see his windshield shattering his back windshield windshield got blown out while he's driving he's like this is he's watching his car just get destroyed just rocks just rocks dropping out of the sky yeah sometimes I think they actually puncture right through the roof like through the metal oh yeah you got to think of how far if you got a 4in chunk of ice that's hurling from space yeah like it's basically in the clouds yeah look at that oh wow what the [ __ ] dude that looks like JF Kennedy's car he had a convertible oh yeah he broke Windows wow yeah [ __ ] these cars up man whoa he's fingering it a guy it's I wonder how many people get killed by hail every year there's a good question look like they got what kills more staff or hail I don't know but I know they say about uh I think they say 12 to 30 people a year this is for Real get killed by a falling coconut 150 well not where i50 people a year 150 now yeah yeah um so it's gone up we were talking about like things that kill people but they like inflate numbers like marijuana kills zero coconuts falling on people's head kill 150 people we're not Outlaw coconuts yeah you know what I'm saying can you imagine getting killed by a coconut it would suck what a way to go it's not good it's not a good way to go especially if you're like an accomplished person yeah everything's going great like if Steve Jobs had gotten killed by a coconut or his little brother musk imagine Elon Musk is killed by a coconut yeah you would no one believe it like [ __ ] CIA made that coconut yeah wild dangerous according to the NOA a oh since 2000 only four people have been killed by hail wow oh wow how many people get killed every year by lightning let's guess 60 I'll say I don't know why I said 60 200 200 worldwide globally globally yeah you're probably right 20 in the US 20 in the US wow every year so what is it globally I got to figure the Chinese are getting picked off play cuz they got billions right you got the odds are and they have skyscrapers they live in skysc wonder if Kimmy long Wow's going to get it 24,000 wow 24,000 a year yeah killed by lightning wow we were both way off wow whoa it was a lot less than I thought would be in America yeah 60 is what I thought in America Wow have you ever been hit by lightning no but my friend Remy has h Remy did he live yeah he lived he was here on the podcast a couple days ago oh [ __ ] um he got hit by lightning I think when he was in high school I think it made him deaf for a little bit like really [ __ ] him up wow yeah he he didn't realize what happened he just woke up on the ground and they had to piece it together that he got hit by lightning the electronic charge going through the air have you seen what's going on right now in um where is it where there's uh these in is it Uruguay where is it where there insane uh lightning storms that are coming out of that volcano oh yeah have you seen that it's a different kind of lightning so it's the it's the the the particles the charged particles that are being released by the lava ignites with the air somehow we'll we'll get some explain and the smoke it's a different kind of lightning the steam the the particles get caught in the steam the trans these insane lightning shows like look at this yeah Indonesia Indonesia but it was it's been going on like a lot lately like even during the day there's a lot of films on Tik Tock and and Instagram and stuff about it bro that is so Bonkers that mean if you were alive 5,000 years ago and you saw that you're like oh Satan that's where Satan lives Satan's back [ __ ] he's back dude I got news everybody we're [ __ ] man Satan's back look look at the mountain Satan on the top of the mountain he's there with lightning and [ __ ] like you if you saw this you'd be like okay that's where Satan is 100% you would think that that's where Thor is that's where the God of Thunder is that's where beel abub lives look at that what you would want 100% Sauron lives up there that's the eye of Sauron people don't know that lightning comes up out of the ground too did you know that Joe does it really yeah lightning comes people just think all lightning comes from and I'm not talking a volcano I'm talking regular time so you could get it right up your ass if you're in the wrong you get a bolt up your ass but for real happen you imagine you get just your nuts blasted by lightning poor Demitri how bad would that suck wow just be walking along the field going wow what a beautiful night Bang from the ground yeah it's true right to your sack yeah do you have any pictures of that out to your head threw your balls out through your head yeah just cooked cooked cooked never be the same again cooked what was that noise you did at the that's the the nuts like you got to think electricity is going through the ground in your nuts and like out the top of your head just imagine your whole body like captured by this lightning it would be like stepping on a landmine but you didn't blow up you just it just can look at that up out of the ground wow lightning trailing from ground to clouds in slow motion now why wow that's insane it's like an etch of sketch wow people don't really know these things and that's why it's important you have me on the show like twice twice a month type of deal I'm really glad you're here for this look how cool that looks in slow motion that's what's really happening [ __ ] that's look at that right out of the ground that's as big as any lightning strike you'll see coming out of the gu God damn that's amazing yeah that looks a lot like Demetri I got to say all the little branches that and this is all in slow motion look how quick those little branches flicker off in the corners in the sides that looks a lot like Demitri's ultrasound by the way I bet yeah wow just just so we're clear lightning is [ __ ] cool that's one of the interesting things about living here is we have these lightning storms you get to watch lightning to see like Florida I think it's one of the most lightning lightning active places on the planet oh yeah yeah Florida Florida is like this is hurricane season there yeah like if you're Planet trip to Florida now like hey you know you got check that weather yeah but it can be stunningly beautiful though I've been in scenarios where I've been in Florida at night and you got celery juice on me and you look out like 2 three miles out and there will be active storms going on in the cumulus right the degenerative molecular uh charged uh transfixation particles are lighting are lighting up the clouds and it's like you're at a you're at a judah's priest concert covered in mayonnaise you got another thing coming and it's like all over do you believe in The Matrix I don't disbelieve in it because if you ever want to have it I've got this uh chemically reversed uh inverse magnet magnetron camera and one of the things we associate with the Matrix is what the numbers coming down in green so if you can take a picture think of it where does that exist in reality but if you can go out on a stormy night like that rain coming down with your magnetized nitronic reverse camera and take a picture while Lightning's flashing think of it Matrix what are what are raindrops Water right right but not when you take them with an infrared matronic camera what are they then you'll see numbers in the in the see interesting if you believe in that stuff well person's got to believe in something do you believe in it what the Matrix uh I don't disbelieve in it you know I can tell you that you've experienced it in real time how can you do that a little term Joe Rogan called deja vu have you ever experienced Deja Vu yes so think of it how can you be in a place that you've never been before you're standing somewhere foreign somewhere new and all of a sudden your brain computes that you've been in this exact moment and it's undeniable right how how is that happening well it's not really undeniable well it is undeniable because you're in it right but it's a it's probably a glitch in how you interface with reality there for glitch in The Matrix well it's probably how your brain's firing your brain has just like brain is essentially just like a computer in a way like there's a lot of calculations that are going on simultaneously a lot of sensors are being considered different senses are affecting the way you view the world and I think it's very possible that you can have a situation where things just get a little wonky for a second and you think have I done this before have I done it before but how or or or you have done it before and every time you do this you try to do it better and you live the same life over and over and over again until you get it right A lot of people believe that that's a good theory it plays into what I'm going for here yeah I had a moment in time where I had Deja Vu I'm not going to say where and when cuz I don't want anyone to interfere with it but I've never told anyone this before I had a place in time where I was walking I was going under a bridge a pigeon flew out okay right a child was laughing in the background you know like a child like he you know like a giggle a a playground Giggle and a red car went by and I was like I've been here before a place I'd never been so I documented the experience the time the place and and I've gone back to that same place for 9 years to the exact same place at the same time check this out red car goes by bird flies out pigeon kid laughing in the background but this year something different happened that I'd never seen a feather fell off of the bird when it flew out h so check this out you save the feather don't get ahead of me well the Matrix must be real well hold on I got this examined I have a lot of friends in the science Community I I know a bunch of scientologists and I had them Analyze This pigeon flew out here I'm good this this is a feather from a great a you know what that is it's an extinct species of bird from South America please that's okay just put it down well I think you'd like to touch it nope I'm good so how does an extinct species of bird drop a feather from a common pigeon who knows man that's it that's the animal that's the looks like that animal didn't really have feathers it did believe me and I'm holding one right here W stin 3 50 years ago is that what it was H Matrix oh when from healthy to extinct in 350 years they probably taste delicious they're probably stupid and they taste delicious that's what happens W the great do little cutie can that thing even fly no sounds like a [ __ ] story if the how's that feather get there well this what I'm saying this thing lives near the ocean The Matrix found a feather that may someone dropped it Flo off of the pigeon that for 9 years Maybe not maybe it just was near where the pigeon was and it was flying through the air cuz someone had a a like Taxidermy in their apartment building and that feather just kept drifting in the and just coincidentally as the pigeon was passing that feather was making its way like oh my god look what fell off the pigeon an ancient extinct a feather but meanwhile it was just someone was in an apartment building with Taxidermy of the A and they had the window open the fan on touche you never know could could be magic though could be I like what I'm hearing do you think uh this is the Matrix like if this is a simulation what does it say about your choice of like how you've chosen to exist in the simulation I don't know that we have a choice you don't think so well the Matrix is numbers it's mathematical so do we really have a choice did we have a choice that we were conceived did we have a choice that our we don't think we did right maybe we do or maybe it's inevitable you know maybe there's just this mathematical cycle of atoms and protons and molecules interacting with each other just this is the way it's always going to go it's going to go this way the same way over and over and over again and the only thing different is that you get to learn from your past mistakes at least some way in the essence of your being and do a better job of existing this next go around I don't know that we have to do a better job I think I don't think we have a choice I think Evolution just takes us we're just hanging on to Bears tapeworms at this point you know yeah but if you live the same life over and over and over again you're going to go through the same nature interaction over and over again it's not going to be like a differently evolved world you're going to live the same thing over and over again like if you thought about it like you and I how old are you well I'm 56 how old are you 61 are you really yeah for real yeah you look really good thank you you do you look really good ex except the scars you're a little beat up um I've been rolled by a gz we have gone through one of the weirdest lives you know and if if the simulation is real and if you wanted if the simulation wanted you to go through the most profound changes that human beings have ever experienced in the time of their life just just in how people interface with the world you and I have done that yeah we we we exist we were born in a time where there was no internet and you got your news from television and everybody had a sort of a limited understanding of the world you could [ __ ] your way through most things because nobody could Google you nobody could get a book on you you couldn't just run to the library and find out if Mike was telling the truth about his War Stories you had to just believe micro fish things everything was possible the world was a different place you know then there's answering machines and and then the internet and that was again like a decade in between and cut to smartphones and it's been about what 15 years with them now and now ai and it's just like everything's happening exponentially quicker I remember I was on news radio with uh Dave Foley in the 90s Dave Foy is a he's a big you know computer internet technology nut he loves that stuff yeah and at the time he was the first person I ever met who had a laptop okay so he had a laptop back then was a one of those Mac laptops the pl you know black plastic ones back in the day and he had this uh app running in the background where it gave him constant news he's like look if I keep it connected to the internet it constantly gives me news yeah I was like whoa you can hear your news from the internet this is crazy so it's like all the news stories of world events and so when I look back now at how we're just inundated like constantly inundated with like World conflict stories world events world problems world world environmental crisises World starvation World floods like World volcanoes with lightning like oh it's go you never [ __ ] I I remember that moment that very moment where I was looking at Dave's laptop and I was like wow the internet just going to feed you the nose the news in real time you don't have to tune into the news you don't have to go buy a newspaper this was like this profound moment for me where I I still look back at that day and I go that was the first time I ever saw like a baby a baby supercomputer oh look it's a little baby the news ironically you're on a show called news radio crazy very ironically very ironically yeah wow yeah I'm excited to see where where it goes cuz I I think the next the next evolution of this could be tractor beams it could be particle movers it could be you know asid ridiculous as it sounds the transporter Beam on Star Trek mhm I feel like you know maybe 50 years maybe a 100 years people are going to look back and go wait you went to a place called an airport you got on a tube and flew 18 hours to Australia like I think we're going to be at a place one day where maybe they can rearrange our molecules and particles and Beam us I feel like if we can imagine it it's going to happen yeah I bet it's going to happen I mean think is it funny that Star Trek figured that out but they didn't figure out computers and they didn't figure out cell phones they had walkie-talkies remember KK well they they had the communicators yeah but it was a it was a walkie-talkie SP I've got diarrhea s me some Pepto Bismol immediately but it wasn't you couldn't both talk like if you and I were on a phone call what's up harlon hey what's up dude it's not it's like hey Haren how are you over yeah and there was no video component those idiots FaceTime dumb they got to get back to the future they didn't have nothing dumb asses yeah remember that yeah a twirly thing look at that stupid a trip like kaleidoscope and who knows what those buttons are even for they're not even labeled what if I find that thing on the beach I don't know what to do with it I think it's an electric razor if you ask me I think it's straight [ __ ] yeah I think it's a garage door opener I like how it had to flip closed though I used to love that about old phones when you can hang up like that I love that snap shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] you yeah like those razor phon garage door I remember I had one of those razor phones I thought I was James Bond yeah you could express yourself with them the Razor phone was the [ __ ] yeah what did that one do it was just this thin little beautiful piece of metal and it didn't it had terrible battery life unfortunately because most phones had insane battery life back then you phone would last for days right you know because like the phones now they just have so much electronics and this this beautiful screen and high res solution it's doing things you're playing games on it and you know you're taking pictures like your battery you know but still your battery's good for like a day that was the [ __ ] I had one of those I thought I was in space well I also like the little side saddle did you have the holster on your belt I tried that I couldn't do it I felt like such a dork and this is coming from a guy who wears a fanny B yeah right and you and you like to play with guns you have guns I don't play with guns sir but this this phone right here for me was the [ __ ] [ __ ] I could never imagine seeing somebody with one of those today I would be like what are you doing with that thing but aren't they bringing them back they have a different one but the new one is like a new phone it's like a modern phone the new one folds yeah look at that but it it has like apps it's essentially a regular phone yeah but it does close and it's real Slim like look it looks pretty similar I think you might have to get one would you do it thought about switching Android just cuz I don't like being trapped in the Apple ecosystem I don't like the idea of it but Google does a lot of like really shady stuff with with uh there's there's different things they do that I don't like and one of the things they do is like if you look at what was their most recent declaration they were talking about censoring things in a time of social problems remember that Jamie um they they reserve the right to censor information under certain circumstances ads though didn't it it had something to do with Google ads yeah um there's there's things that I don't like in terms of search results curation because that's a thing that Google does that Robert Epstein has been working on for a long time like showing that when you like say if you Google uh a presidential candidate right if you Google a candidate that's Democrat you'll get you know especially someone who they want to win you'll get like a lot of positive stories that come up first and you have to go deep if you want to find something about corruption or accusations or anything like that but if you do Google a republican it'll go right to that now I'm not saying this is just an example I'm not saying you could find that but his research shows this and I'm doing a bad job of paraphrasing it because I don't remember exactly what it said but essentially his claim was that in curating search results you can have an impact on elections in curating search results and putting positive things for the people that you want to be elected in the prominence of the search result if it's not an organic search result if you actually are curating it you can affect the way people feel about candidate and that will affect the election results okay and so that's an issue that's Google yeah yeah so I have an issue with that and Google is Android I agree I hate that but I also have an issue with the Apple Walled Garden and I think there's a lawsuit going on right now about that where they're they're trying to get people to um you know because of iMessage and you know FaceTime and all that stuff doesn't work on other phones oh right right right FaceTime does sort of but you have to take a few steps and that's a new thing a new thing is like if you FaceTime someone on an Android phone they have to take a few steps to do it okay I wonder how that works I've never tried that have you ever tried that I haven't tried it let's try it right now I'm going to FaceTime Brian Simpson okay facetime Brian Simpson I'm going to face time OJ Simpson yeah it gives you like a link to send him or something right okay is he still alive look at that it said I haven't seen OJ Simpson it's yeah it's answering questions what thought it thought we were really asking about maybe I should reach out to him is it it didn't give me a link to send where's the link uh I think it's up on the top like where the other buttons are no hold on a second it didn't work so I have to how do I do it if I want to send him a text FaceTime Brian Simpson FaceTime OJ Simpson okay send what the [ __ ] you piece of [ __ ] oh wow went right to Herz rental car hold on be quiet for a second well shut the [ __ ] up well FaceTime Brian Simpson okay all right I said join my FaceTime all right I send it to him and let's see if it works so let's see what he has to do who's Brian Sim he's a hilarious stand up comedian that is performing tonight at the comedy Mothership oh awesome he uh just released a special on Netflix that's amazing that he filmed at the mothership so it's uh it says invite sent webe I should call him and tell him what's going on who Brian yeah okay this is just holding me up here it's not do hold on call Brian Simpson all right here we go hello hey brother it's Joe I'm on a podcast right now you're you're live on the podcast with Harlen Williams I we were talking about how uh Apple keeps people from being able to use certain features like iMessage and FaceTime and I was saying that you can FaceTime someone that has an Android phone but there's a bunch of steps they have to take I don't know how to do it so we're trying to figure out how to do it I'm going to FaceTime you right now okay all right work all right I'll FaceTime you in like two seconds bye cool FaceTime Brian Simpson all right I sent him join my FaceTime let's see how that works so here it goes we's see how this feature works now and I know all you Android dorks I know that there's other [ __ ] that you could use to do this like WhatsApp and I guess you could use Instagram right don't people use Instagram for video calls this is not so fluid now if I wanted to FaceTime you cuz you're a little apple Fanboy over there you're a little boot licker hell yeah I am um I could just FaceTime you and it would work instantly see he's got this invite yeah this takes so long like it ruins the spontaneity about a fun FaceTime call a fun FaceTime call you're at a concert dude what's up look where we are and ironic initials are BS cuz this is BS this is [ __ ] this is like straight [ __ ] would you ever shoot your cell phone like just to get of them like with a full High powerered rifle yeah we used to take them out to the range and shoot hard drives and cell phones no yeah it's a good way to get rid stuff boom 300 wi mag at 100 yards oo it's amazing what it does to a cell phone ooh yeah do you line it up in a scope of course yeah I can't see that far accurate 100 yards wow yeah there's a video of it I think that uh didn't Red Band have a video yeah a video yeah you ever shot a machine gun yes and Elation um it's kind of interesting it's scary it says I'm waiting to be let in a this piece of [ __ ] yeah forget it I'm going to tell him forget it yeah wait a minute what is it doing here it says join is it working waiting for others no this is horeshit it doesn't work I'm telling forget it brother son of a [ __ ] see but this is the thing that people are complaining about that it it forces people to think you're a fool for having an Android phone so you just go out and get an iPhone and iPhones have dominated the market because of that yeah so like I think the numbers are with young kids the numbers is like it's something like 80s something per of kids have iPhones so the kids that don't have iPhones they get left out of iMessage group chats they can talk [ __ ] to oh you poor you got an Android phone yeah it's a class thing it's a class thing it's weird it's a weird thing I don't like it what do you think the evolution of cell phones are do you think it's like neural link where we we're just like you know we're thinking our communicative thoughts or what's your thought on that 100% or yeah that or a wearable maybe something that like you wear and it touches your temples right cuz the concept that we're we're like this goes back to I was saying about flight like wait you guys carried these boxes around and yeah held them to your head yeah well I mean just this alone was magic a 100 years ago if you brought this 100 years back people would think you're the craziest wizard I have the answers to all questions and they would say oh my God people in 2024 must be so smart he comes 2024 to like a Maga convention like you see Robert dairo getting yelled at he's doing his [ __ ] press conference he'll never leave like what what is this this is I don't know but this is people in 2024 whereas if you gave this to people in 1924 they' be like there's no way everyone will have the world solved once they have these oh my God then they have all the information and then people will know exactly what everybody looks like there'll be no more catfishing still chaos well and now like there's filters that you could use where I from just a small snippet of your conversation on this podcast I think they need about 30 seconds 30 seconds of your voice and then I could pretend to be you like just talk like this and the audience would see you with what you're wearing the way your hair is everything in your voice so everything that I say like me saying this right now it would be you saying this right now your voice your face your body everything looks like you all through AI wow so there's no [ __ ] way to to know what anybody is saying that's not true and then there's a big issue right now with celebrities especially women they're making porns with them oh they're they're they're um they just Chang superimposing like like a celebrities face swap with AI so this porn star is having sex with this person you face swap Natalie Portman or [ __ ] Angelina Jolie and now you have a a real realistic looking sex tape of famous people getting [ __ ] so I could see Judge Judy plowing the piz boy just sucking [ __ ] like it's going out of style the closing sale wow imagine imagine uh Judy dent in a pool boy video Judy Dent remember the from the the the uh British actress I do not M from uh what's her name Dench Judy Dench bench Dench Dench oh there she is imagine her in a pool boy oh she was hot when she was young she so pretty but look at her when she was young she's so pretty imagine her rubbing chlorine all over a pool boy time is a ruthless [ __ ] isn't it she puts the net over his head I'm trying not to imagine I'm trying to power through this she's 89 years old give the woman her du give her her respect son of a [ __ ] how about I give her a check for cleaning the pool wow getting stuck in the dryer W she looking for something I can't me pull I can't get out pull stuck in the dryer is my favorite stuck the dryer porns are my favorite because it's so ridiculous you can get out of the dryer like anyone give I love it when they pretty big when they pull their head out and there's a cling-free sheet on their head yeah they got a mouthful of lint looks like they've been blowing an elf I can't believe I'm stuck in here thank you for saving me you know what I tried the dyer sex once and I accidentally I was so impassioned I I hit the tumble cycle oh wow and so imagine being in your woman and she starts swirling around and you're holding on like a horse a rode horse it was some of the best sex I've ever had did you stay still while she spun that would be she spun I just held on to her to her muffin top and we swirled around like uh did you get any concussions she did yeah holy banging around there oh her her head came out she looked like this cauliflower but I had one of the best orgasms I've ever had in my life that's a one time deal right it's hard tricker into doing that again well some women like Adventure yeah what's the weirdest place you've ever uh done it your house that was you wow thought I heard that dog growling under the bed yeah I was doing it under the bed while you were on top of the bed to sleep okay pre-marriage cuz I don't want to get you in trouble where was the wildest place we were only 15 remember yeah where'd you do it wildest place I guess in the woods when we were kids there was nowhere to go so you go in the woods one time we got eaten up by mosquitoes like our whole body both of our bodies just covered in mosquitoes we're so [ __ ] we got naked in the woods yeah in July in Massachusetts wow yeah but you're [ __ ] 17 you don't know what the hell you're doing you're crazy yeah wild kids a lot in the woods yeah well there was always Woods were always there yeah there was a place when you were kids you could just go to the woods you know just bring a towel or a blanket or something you love to the woods yeah but the woods are scary cuz anything in the woods is scary things in the woods become scary even if they're not scary anywhere else like a baby a naked baby in the woods just staring at you it's [ __ ] terrifying there's no other place where a naked baby is scary like a if you're walking down the street you see a naked baby like oh my God whose baby is this does anybody know whose baby hey little guy hold on and then you call the police you pick up the baby in the woods you're like we're going to die it's a [ __ ] naked baby just staring at us if it's hanging upside down from a you know a red pine staring at you that's pretty creepy yeah Holding On by its feet yeah like a bat if you saw a baby in the woods just staring at you'd be [ __ ] terrified any other place baby so the woods are automatically scared and you're scared that you're going to get caught so that's exting we going to get caught we're not going to get caught don't worry we're going to go deep in the woods what about in the city though you ever do it in a crazy place in the city no not really you sewers you ever go in the sewer you ever go in a manhole how a little fun on a ferris wheel once really yeah W yeah you worried you were going to be at the bottom and wouldn't be able well that was was cool we we would we would time it so that when we when we came down it was like hand off and then we'd swirl so it was like kind of this really fun sort of start and stop thing and then one time I'm not kidding the guy sort of recognized me and we were having the guy the Carney who ran it like when I got on oh dude I love you right and so we were having so much fun but we weren't finished and so as we he was letting everyone off I said just leave us on just please he goes okay I got you and we just like finished swirling yeah congratulations did you ever do it in the swirling teacups at Disneyland imagine if you did yeah boy imagine throwing up like right when you come probably feel amazing cuz even though throwing up sucks it feels amazing when you have to throw up and you you finally do purging oh you know that feeling like last time I threw up was about a year ago and it was in the middle of the night I got up and I was like I feel like I'm going to [ __ ] puke I just I just I didn't feel good going to bed and in the middle of the night I was like wo and I woke up and I got went to the bathroom to pee or throw up and I was like oh boy they might both happen at the same time oh and I held the pee and just like and then I peed right over my throw up I don't give a [ __ ] dude wow that's how Wild I yeah I didn't even bother I just pissed on the throw up I'm like just left it yeah you ain't going just a little throw up did you do the thing when you barfed like right after you just curled up on the bathroom floor in the fetal position and felt the cool tiles on your naked skin never done that me neither I do lay down on the bathroom floor sometimes when I get out of the sauna though oh yeah cuz the tile floor like right when you get out of the sauna it's 185 [ __ ] degrees or whatever it is yeah I I like to lay down that cool could you do the ice soaking yeah I mean inside my house when I'm inside my house I saw inside my house I have one outside too to come over later and sit in it with you yeah hang we got coups we got one here I'd rather do the one at your house I think then you we can have dinner too okay what you want to sleep over I wouldn't mind I bet you do well we're going to work out in the morning no you can you going to get the C plunge no come on I'd sit in ice cream in a hot day The cold plunge feels good for about 5 Seconds yeah a hot day you get in there like oh [ __ ] I jumped in Lake Superior once and it was one of those things I probably stayed in about 5 minutes and I've never experienced it but when I got out for about 40 minutes after I was shaking like it was so cold here's a question Lake Superior massive Lake used to be a glacier right yeah okay biggest of the Great Lakes most of North America at one point in time at least half of North America was covered by like a mile high sheet of ice okay right so you have this time period after the Ice Age where all that melts how the [ __ ] do the fish get in there yeah how the [ __ ] did those fish get in there it's a mystery that's a really good question how those lake trout get in there in the middle of the country these big ass giant lake trout how the [ __ ] did they get in there what did they just evolve once the water melted yeah were there were there seeds of the fish in the ice waiting to be melted for real though if that's all ice yeah the fish ain't getting in there how do they get in the middle of the lake the lake is [ __ ] huge it's filled with fish there is a possibility it's an extreme one but I'm trying to answer your question that a predatory bird like an osprey or a gull or some kind of fisheating bird flies from the ocean caught a fish in a in a local River or a nearby lake adjacent to where are those nearby Lakes if the entire yeah well have you ever been to a a like a farm or anything like that and sometimes they have those water troughs that they leave out for the cows but they've been abandoned or you you come to a place where there's like a little puddle in a field or something right and somehow there's fish in it and there's there's there's noot and there's aqu quatic creatures and you you go how how did they get here right how did a noot get up and aluminum bin and get down into this ecosystem that's evolved here it's fascinating it your question kind of raises the questions for all of creation it's it's it's we can look at Evolution we can look at at the dawn of time but it it it's really has it ever been answered not totally I mean they don't have an exact time bytime like day byday timeline but do they have an answer to how fish got into the great legs I can't believe I never asked that before I never even thought of it before huge body of water of course there's fish in there but if the whole continent was covered 10,000 years ago in ice what the [ __ ] happened well you might have to say Okay somewhere there was a tributary that came from the ocean no it would be from North it would be from up North but where from Hudson's Bay down into Superior and the ocean fish maybe they probably swim up River from the warm areas well that's what salmon do when they SP I bet they swim up area that makes the most sense how they got in those Lakes so those Lakes must be connected to Rivers right oh yeah have they have to be they all are they probably swim up into the lake and then evolve to become like these big lake creatures like Lake trouts yeah cuz Lake trouts are [ __ ] huge man lake trout can get huge yeah oh man yeah people ice fish them yeah that's like a big wave it's they're [ __ ] crazy looking yeah so that thing you don't really find them I mean in the southern areas right those are a northern fish aren't they lake trout yeah uh they're sort of a deep waterer really cold fish so they don't necessarily have to be way up North right so if they evolved so these lake lakes and streams from the lower part of the country right so if you're talking about like New Mexico or something like that what some area that wasn't covered in ice these things swim all the way up the river and then they evolve in this Lake to become bigger and to become adapted to the cold deep water different species yeah it's dude this is the mystery of where we are yeah how about sturgeon where St dinosur these things are what 1,000 PBS or more hug monsters they look like dinosaurs prehistoric they look prehistoric have you ever seen that thing that's in the Amazon that has it has essentially bulletproof scales yeah yeah the they're black what is it called I've seen Araya yeah what's up Jimmy just this the the way the fish got into the Great Lakes is is a way deeper store than I've uncovered so far but the way salmon got there specifically in the 60s people brought them there yeah a guy had to bring him there m that makes sense fishing became very popular back then so there was lot of dead fish swimming like on the shores for some reason I was trying to find out but were there any fish in there before the salmon that's the there had have been that's I was as you were first asking it i' know I've seen this image recently like the depth of Lake Superior specifically very deep 1,333 ft [ __ ] so there could maybe have been something under there waiting for the ice to melt that came back up there's a bunch of stuff saying what he said too was like U fish eggs get dropped by other birds and end up in the water I got to think the river has a lot to do with it but that was so there was this is like you can't go up Niagara Falls that's true right wow you good yeah good point Jamie that's a very good point right how the [ __ ] does it get past those God damn it what a mystery yeah harl we've maybe cracked or uncovered one of the biggest mysteries in humankind and no one's talking about it buddy yeah isn't that incredible yeah aren't you glad I showed up we busted it out wow we're the ones the on imagine tomorrow like front page of every newspaper Haron Williams and Joe Rogan POS serious question as to how fish got in the Great Lakes and scientists are baffled and they all start talking to us coming to us like how did you guys realize that fish had to get into the Great Lakes when the Great Lakes used to be covered in a glacier yeah you guys are geniuses untouched Geniuses of Nature and then maybe when Trump gets in for his second term he appoints us to some sort of a nature Advisory Board and we give uh we we could be the master ethologists yes we could be the people telling everybody how to fix all these problems with animals and people and but see here's the other layer of this lasagna that we're not talking about you're talking about lake trout right how about the Lake Superior probably has 60 70 different species of fish I fished Lakes up beer I've caught white fish I've got lake trout there's all kinds of fish in there right how they get in there by the way I used to work on the shores of Lake Superior and there's a PL you'd like this cuz I know you like bears and you like guns and you like there's a believe it or not there's a place on the shores of Lake Super called naay Provincial Park where was such a desolate place that in World War II they had a German Nazi prisoner of war camp on the shores whoa and the prisoners it was so remote no one could Escape because they would have gone into the Canadian wilderness but the German soldiers captured somehow a black bear and trained it to box they put boxing gloves on it and then Nazi soldiers for entertainment purposes would box with this black bear Jesus Christ and they and they sunk a whole bunch of of of wartime um vehicles in in in uh Lake Superior wow yeah how many Bonnies you think were in leg Superior I don't know but they might be preserved at so cold that's what I'm thinking if you went down yeah if you dropped them all the way to the 1,300 ft just this creepy skeleton with his 1970s jeans on Bottoms he might not even be a skon that's what I'm saying it's so cold he might still have fles and just be like your baby in the woods just like hi Joe would you like a fresh cauliflower don't you think something would eat them uh maybe more lamp pre eels there's things alive down there lamp pre you ever seen a lamp pre aren't they don't they aren't they a saltwater creature no fresh water they're in Lake Ontario Oh really yeah I know they're they cling to the back bottom of sharks a lot right they feed off of with the shark those are raor oh oh that's rightor by the way L similar to Lampe is one of the more horrific it has a round it's like an eel with a round suction cup with circular like buzz saw teeth it a fixes itself on the fish and slowly sucks their Interiors out Jesus Christ look what if that was in a movie you would say oh my God we glad that's not real yeah that's like Dune right that's like the worm and dune there is a movie what's it called let me see that one where that dude's holding it again that's so creepy yeah the lamp look at that [ __ ] mouth man well what's what's amazing is it sucks your insides out and slowly eats you alive so it pulls the skin apart and then just sucks out all the orans it literally creates a hole look at the bite in that dude's hand yeah it puts a hole in the fish and just stays a fixed to the same spot and eats its insides out they're older than dinosaurs yeah now they're in they're in like in the the Great Lakes that's crazy how the [ __ ] did they get in there so that's a one attached to a fish yeah that's on a lake trout right there can you show me that the photo oh so that's the hole where it was uh no that's it hanging see invasive oh those are the ones hanging and then see the hole you can see a hole where one let go and they just they just click on that link please consume the fish where are they from originally it says it's an invasive species I don't know maybe the Amazon does it say Wow right right but where are they from it says it's invasive it's a sea lampy yeah they're in the Great Lakes the sea sea lamp is invasive and it can cause problems in local ecosystems it's a lot to do with its size sea lamps are big compared to Native species so it comes from the ocean somehow or another does and they can live in the in fresh water that's crazy well apparently the girl I think her name's Maria Bell was the first person to ever swim across Lake Ontario and she had to swim through schools of those apparently when she swam across Lake Ontario Oh my God imagine those little [ __ ] grabbing a all your [ __ ] yeah they're the perfect they they almost got [ __ ] suckers for mouths yeah like they're perfect geez hate to see Demetri around one of those so in the 1950s US and Canada teamed up for population control measures and they have worked several strategies including traps to capture adult lampes lamp PR PR l size poison Target seed lampy larva and installing barriers are few tactics to use so far working what does it say oh that's a good thing left multiply SE lamp re could significant damage to the Region's seven billion dollar fishing industry huh lamp bre creepy little [ __ ] yeah and then the rora look how weird that thing is the rora has a suction cup on its head so the top of its head had is a suction cup look at that and I was sexually assaulted in Florida i' had been eating a bacon sandwich and spilled some on my lap and went swimming and that thing sucked me for about an hour and a half look at the top of his head well someone's not paying attention I'm paying attention I had a sexual assault and you glazed right over I didn't believe you well it's true it lasted too long I can show you theck for like 30 seconds I said oh my God that thing clung to his leg for 30 seconds but I maybe I wanted to last remember you're talking to the dyer sex guy here right the guy with the the baby inside do you know that the whates it say sucker fish latches to swimmer whoa there he go look at her she's hot but you know the Spanish fishermen you know there was a time when you could eat sea turtles right and the rora will swim to whatever is moving because they feed off of the they're like they're like parasitic fish when the shark eats they'll catch all the all the scraps so Spanish fish um their to their Ingenuity they used to eat sea turtles and when they'd catch a rora they'd keep it alive in the boat and when they saw a sea turtle they'd put it on their line throw it in the water the remor would go to the sea turtles stick on the shell and they'd reel in sea turtles used to be able to eat them yeah that's how they got no you're making this up no that's for real this was this was in the past they clung to the sea turtle and that's how they pulled it so they used it like a magnet to se yeah you saw the size of the sucker on its head right so it it would stick to the sea turtle and then they could in essence pull in the yeah see there's one wow yeah so if you want to go fishing for sea turtles later let me know that's crazy yeah some good sucking going on in the oce they take the sea turtles and flip them on their back and put them in the bottom of the the ship and then when they wanted to eat one they just pick it up cuz when you flip them on their back they can't turn over so they just lay there yeah and they could stay alive for a long time without food or water yeah cuz they're air breathers yeah so you just leave them in there until you want cook one yeah throw a leave over it pick it up it's like fresh food I've seen a bunch of videos of people cooking and eating sea turtles in other countries uh because there's like some cooking show or fishing show where some guy went with them and you're not allowed to do it but you can be there while people are doing it you know if you're an American you're not allowed to kill a sea turtle but in some parts of the world like their local culture you know like in some like some places yeah Inuits are allowed to eat whale they can kill whale they kill walrus seals all that stuff so these people are allowed to kill sea turtles but there's something like really disturbing about watching a sea turtle get hacked apart yeah cuz they're so gentle I know and they're so like what is happening yeah they're just like little dummies they not like a fish like a fish fish is just like their eyes don't move that good they just move around a little like you're so over removed from me I'm going to cut your head off and serve you a sushi sweet I was just in the Galapagos Island uh swimming underwater with sea turtles holding their flippers also so sweet that's cute also sea turtles trying to seem tough but Turtles are always good guys yeah in movies and like Ninja Turtles they're the good guys right there like turtles are like your friend yeah they're buddies yeah they're your wise pal the turtles never [ __ ] it's never really a [ __ ] turtle in like movie depictions yeah can you think of a Cy Turtle uh God remember that giant turtle that fought Godzilla and he like fire would come out of his skill go fly he spit around what was this D again CUNY no I don't think so well but like turtles that's like one of those things that happens with people that's why people like love bears CU you have teddy bears you know you have teddy bears and you know you got Yogi and you know only you can prevent forest fires all that stuff like oh bears are your friends they're sweet yeah and it's what a great PR campaign these murderous assassins have pulled off getting us to like reintroduce them into areas where people are like we your friends they're not they're monsters big ass monsters yeah with a good PR campaign polar bears will e you faster than they'll do anything else here's a here's a fact owls are dumb I thought they were wise I did too I talked to a woman who trains birds and she had all these different birds she had Hawks and paragen Falcons and all she's owls are the dumbest there's only one animal dumber than them that's one of those big animals one of those big birds rather that's dumber than them one them big birds from Australia what are those things called that's it that that one's Dumber really that's the only animal that's dumber than an owl just like owls are so dumb I thought they were wise I had one booing outside of my house about two weeks ago keeping me awake all night and I'm like how do you deal with the wisest of all the birds right so I go outside I throw a Rubik's Cube up into the tree it comes back 30 seconds later perfectly done so I don't think they're that dumb wow I had I maybe you got an autistic kid living in your tree yeah Johnny I'm trying to sleep come down Johnny he's up there counting out loud so check this out Joe I he's out there doing long math in his head he's up there eating celery 5,000 divided by 16 a beautiful mine th that [ __ ] rub throws it back to you he keeps going on with his math I did a I did do a movie Once where um I played a wizard and I had a Eurasian eagle owl I think they're the biggest of all the owls and they trained it to land on my arm on the big leather glove yeah and I'd never worked with owls up close like that and the trainer he was sitting like this with his Talons and the trainer said grab the back Talon and pull it and I said well I don't I don't want to hurt the thing you know I she said no pull it so I I grabbed the back and I you know I gave it a tug and it didn't move and he goes no pull it as hard as you can and you know these are these big claws I grab it I could not move it and he goes this is what an owl's death grip feels like when it clanks onto something it's over I could not believe the strength in in that Talon it was crazy yeah I mean they're Raptors yeah they're just it's wild their claws when you see an eagle's claw when they give you a close-up and you it's like a human hand but with Spears at the tip of the fingers but I didn't understand the strength of them just like much stronger than your hands yeah oh yeah well imagine what they do when they just snatch a salmon out of the water and fly away with it I look at those things man yeah that's insane I mean that is straight up dinosaur tools look at that [ __ ] and look at all the texture to it all the muscles and T what a monster and way more powerful than you would you would think just by looking at it oh yeah I actually the the if you look at the claws of the osprey look at that owls those are fake that's he's got two hands bro that's real no those are no that's the wise owl that's the real Wise Owl that can't be I don't think they read books with those yeah he's up there in the tree reading books I didn't even the problem with it at first I like what's wrong with oh yeah okay yeah welcome to the internet but I was so shocked that owls are dumb really why whoa look at those claws is that the Eurasian eagle owl oh my God oh my great horned owl look at those things that's so amazing that's what took my chihuahua did they really yeah I had a Chihuahua and one of those bastards cuz they're big too those are fairly big they get a lot of cats imagine my little Chihuahua getting picked apart by that F wow I um have a friend and he was uh telling I think Steve Rell was telling us on the podcast was he about the like they found this one Owl's Nest and it was filled with like cats little collar oh wow yeah there like 30 different cat collar something like that yeah that's what the [ __ ] man they're just snatching cats out of people's backyard and like I said it's a tabby dri Gone Gone sound if you hear this if hear and there you ever heard like the difference between the sound an owl makes when it flies they've done like these like where they record the noise it's insane it's silent when you see an Hawk do it or an eagle do it there's all this different different birds have noise and then the Owl makes like no [ __ ] noise the aerodynamics of an owl they're like like stealth bombers just silent you know another wild one is tuna when tuna go through the water they can go through the water to grab someone and and grab something and they don't even make a ripple like when they go over the top of the W it's crazy I watch video of it it's bizarre when they jump yeah no when they're going through the top of the water they just slide through it like a KN like a knight yeah so that's a hawk yeah and now now watch the owl it's Ken turn nothing silent silent silent nighttime killer nature dumb as [ __ ] big stupid head with giant eyes dumb as [ __ ] just [ __ ] killing everything it can are they're not that dumb are they got to be smarter a woodpecker I think woodpeckers are way smarter really I don't know what about a blue H I don't think you train woodpeckers this lady probably has a limited database to work with everything like she's got on her arm is like a raptor except for the owl like like the Falcons she said the hardest Hawks and Falcons she goes they just kill everything like you let them go they just go find things they'll kill squirrels they find they just they just can't stop killing okay and she goes these these things just like they're killing machines she go I let them go they just find things and kill it like immediately yeah find a bird kill it fly up to the bird kill it they come back to her but they just go kill things first oh this is a trained Falcon W yeah they're all trained but it doesn't matter like if you let a hawk go Hawks just go find something to kill yeah like what what our guys to kill they just fly around like what oh Bird yeah boom dead they're not even trying to eat it squirrel [ __ ] you bam kill that squirrel so sport killing sport killing they're just designed to kill cuz not a lot of animals do that some animals can't help themselves Lions do it to hyenas yeah but I bet that lion did it to that lady in that car I bet she was eatting her I bet that was a little bit of sport there's another old video where some like Danish guy's going through a lion safari with his wife and kids and he got out he was with his camera and literally the kids and the wife you see them in the car going berserk and his legs are kicking in the air and the Lions just came and devoured him right in front of the wife and kids like the idiot got out some people are just [ __ ] stupid man that's Darwin right yeah that's that's the whole idea is like those people are not supposed to make it yeah yeah you're not supposed to make it but they've already breed bread that's a problem at least the kid has the benefit of seeing his dad get like my dad was so dumb like you know you can have a dumb dad and get through things and be a different person than your dad was and if you're a dumb kid and your dad is dumb as [ __ ] your dad gets out and gets eaten by a lion in front of you that has a profound effect I got to be honest not even saying that kid's dumb or that you know maybe the kid's a genius you could be you have a genius kid be stupid I got to be honest though Joe in this world we live in where you know humans expire primarily you know in a hospital bed or at home and around their loved ones with a disease with whatever cancer right I really would rather die like jumping a lion like you know at the at the family function how did he die he attacked a lion he went out on his shield huh yeah you went out on your Shield yeah yeah like I I want to Noble the death of like like a warrior right yeah and going back to that story this is going to sound ridiculous no way yeah but going back to the story where I told you I saw the lion when my hand was shaking there was that terrified part of me this is for Real there were two male lions no one else in the middle of Africa part of me wanted to jump out of the truck and just run at the T the lion and attack it knowing that I'd die but knowing that it would be the most glorious death of a a man with courage or stupidity but at least I would die in a fashion where spectacular way in the real world organic nature Man versus beast beast versus Beast cuz I don't like to think of us as Superior to other creatures but it just that actually popped into my head I thought I don't want to I don't want to expire in the leukemia a ward I don't want to be in hospice right I've lived a good life yeah so imagine I just run at a line in that last moment I get to see the shock in its face of a human daring to jump on it and grab it yeah and they would have been on me in a second but I don't know is that weird no like have you ever thought how you want to die well if you're going to die and you know especially if you're older and you know it's soon to go just run at that line next time have you ever thought about that no would you would you be fine just expiring in a hospital bed like yeah that's better than being torn apart in front of your family yeah I'm not saying do it in front of your family about the people that not in front of your family but if you just have going get to take you to the line let's say you're out hunting a Grizz and one day you just go you know what you put the rifle down and you just run at them and go this is how I want to go punching punching a Grizz in the face knowing you're going to die but you go out in that that wild punching a Grizz in the face is like an ant punching you it's like being attacked by a kitten with no claws it is it's like but you get that moment of being a man of of feeling that power you'd rather just that's a stupid way have a heart attack yeah okay yeah that's a stupid way to die well I mean it's one thing if you get attacked by an animal and you're out in the woods and it's like hey this is the price you pay for being in nature that's thing they attack us why can't we attack them now flip it around okay I'd like to yeah you can okay good maybe I'm even inviting you to come with me to do it if you ever find out that you're going to die and that's how you want to go I'll go you come with me yeah definitely I'll bring a rifle in case you change your mind you wouldn't run like if like as you're running like Joe change my mind boom I'll have my crosshairs on them you wouldn't run to the animal with me no no I'll be there to watch if you want me to yeah I'd love that okay it' be a special moment with share I love share I'll be there when you pass over into the next stage of life and but you got to do me favor yeah if like Heaven's real if like there is an afterlife or whatever it is just let me know oh I would come back and tell me come in a dream tell me in a dream yeah have you had a dream of someone who died and it seemed like super realistic ooh yes I think I have what was it it might have been my dad ooh yeah I just I just remember being really sad like he's gone and there was like this wave of emptiness cuz my mother did die and are your parents still with us yes so when my mother died like this hole formed in my heart like it literally felt like a hole and it it can't close like I I I can come to peace with it I can yeah I can be at Harmony with the fact that she's gone but and I wasn't even super close with my mom but the hole that got left in my heart it's like woo it's I can if I focus on it I can feel it immediately and it's that that just that connection to the mother the the person that brought you into this world you know is really really powerful and so in the dream what happened with your dad I can't remember it's foggy what I remember more than the actual moment is that feeling that feeling of emptiness that oh they're they're gone you know just gone forever and and it it was really sort of this sad Crush ing feeling on my soul it's it's powerful I had a dream after Phil Hartman died oh and uh it wasn't that long after his death and uh in the dream I ran into him and it was very realistic cuz we were outside and he had like one of those folding lawn chairs and it was on the ground and I said I said hello and he was explaining to me that him and his wife had worked it out you know this is after his wife killed him you know you were right there too right I wasn't there when it happened no but you were working the show when it happened right yeah yeah Jesus and he he laughed about it like yeah we had a lot to work through like but we're good now something along those lines and then he sat down on the lawn chair and like fell backwards like it stumbled back Awards and then I looked and he was gone it was really weird cuz and then I realized it was a dream and then I woke up but I remember thinking like in the moment like that seemed so realistic like he was like telling me he's okay cuz I tried to get him to divorce that lady a bunch of times while I was working with him yeah cuz he would they would fight like crazy fights where he would just disappear for a couple he would leave the house and and he was telling me he wanted to get divorced but he didn't want the lawyers to take a third because it's like I was like just kid about a half no no no the the the it's 2/3 so the lawyer takes a third this is what he was telling me he's like I go just give her half you're always going to make money just get out be free just be you you know and he was terrified of that he was terrified of leaving and so when he finally decided to leave she murdered him in his sleep she shot him and then she shot herself and my friend was actually my friend who was a cop was actually there when she shot herself oh so that happened when the police approached the house yes yes oh wow yeah the police broke into the house to try to save the kids and she shot herself the kids ran away from their mom he told me so he he told I hadn't I hadn't done stand up in two weeks after the murder I was just yeah I I just couldn't imagine anything being funny and and then I decided two weeks later to try to go to The Comedy Store so I'm at the gas station and while I was at the gas stage my friend who was a cop was there and I was like hey what's up how you doing he goes like how you doing you good I go yeah he goes you know I was there I go really and then he told me the whole story about how he was there and they saw the the mom in the bathroom with the gun and the kids ran away from the mom when the cops broke down the door cuz the cops saw her with the in the bathroom with the gun yeah and a lot of times in murder suicides the mother will kill her children too of course yeah and so they were she was in there with the gun talking to the kids and the kids freaked out and then when they broke down the front door the kids ran away from the mom and she just blew her brains out the only good side is they didn't see her do that I'm guessing I'm hoping they didn't see that there's no good side I mean there's no good side you lose your mother and your father in a murder homicide in one night and you're like what you mean there's no good side with your intuition like obviously you were advising Phil to get away yeah was there ever a foresight in your head that she would murder him wow no no no no no isn't that funny how we just don't know people but first of all she was also on Zoloft and cocaine and the family won some sort of a settlement with Zoloft um not much but you there's instances where people mix zolof with cocaine that they have psychotic reactions yeah and I suspect that's what was going on and she was she they hated each other they they loved each other and they hated each other you know it's one of those deals like she she would insult him publicly it was it was rough man and you know I was just saying like you're a great guy like you don't need to be going through this like you need to get divorced and have you know share custody of your kids and and try to set an example and just not you can't do this like the fighting was so bad it was and he hated it he didn't want to be married to her he he was he was stuck and I told him like you you can't just stay stuck and just let these circumstances overcome your existence yeah you no matter how hard it is you have to push through so we had a break we done filming for a bit till we went back for the next season and um one day I woke up and someone called me and told me and then I saw it on the news and it's just like what and then everybody was calling everybody and we all got together we were like [ __ ] it's just so hard to believe it doesn't make sense it's like yeah how was he your buddy like were you friends with him off set like did you chum around and stuff yeah he actually took me up in his plane once um to uh find where I W up buying a house cuz I was he goes one of the cool things about flying he like I can show you cuz he had just got he had gotten his pilot license while we were on the show together yeah and like and so he was always practicing that he bought one of these single engine planes it was pretty cool and so he said you want to come out for a a flight I'll show you around I'm like yeah yeah let's do it and so we we flew around the valley and like showed me all these different areas and it's like he was a he was a great guy man did you sweet sweet guy given the turmoil in his relationship were you privy to the knowledge that they had a gun in the house no no I had no idea cuz you got a when you're going through something bad with a spouse I mean I I don't think it's good having a gun in the house cuz someone could flip like that you know I guess yeah that's a horrible thing to think but I don't even know uh whose gun it was I don't know anything you know I don't know if it was her gun I don't know if he knew about the gun I I don't know damn yeah but the dream the dream was so strange cuz the dream was like him letting me know he's fine it was he was Phil he was laughing he was like he made some sort of a joke about his wife killing him and that we got through that now and then he sat down on the lawn chair and fell backwards like it slipped back and like I think I looked down at the ground and I looked at him and he was gone and then I was like oh this is a dream and then I woke up did you feel like closure to a weir weirdly it felt like it was him letting me know not to freak out about it yeah like Let It Go yeah dude but you're always going to freak out about it you freak out about the kids yeah the kids is the big one that you just can't imagine what it'd be like if that was you if you were a kid and then all a sudden your mom shoots your dad and then shoots herself and then it's public it's not just it's not just that it's this thing that you have to deal with it's the thing that everybody wants to talk to you about cuz the whole world knows about it because he was a famous guy yeah you know well not only famous but what really he was loved but what really kind of was hard to get your head around is you have this guy who's an extreme comedy Force right yeah and you don't think of joyous sort of Comedy people that elicit laughter and violence like that and so the fact here was his funny sort of hahaa guy that brought so much left and then that kind of ending it's it's like it just doesn't fit well not only that it's like when does the wife kill the husband with a gun how often is it that's so rare execution style in the sleep sleeping oh my God what must have been going through her head too Soul Loft and cocaine yeah what's soft it's an anti-depressant SSRI oh yeah wow yeah Google the the results of the side effects of mixing zolof with cocaine I think there's a few psychiatric medications that you if you mix with alcohol or if you mix with cocaine you get really crazy behavior like people just go off the [ __ ] rails yeah I don't know even how much control they have I don't know what that feels like like what does that feel like you're on zolof and COC you might be [ __ ] a raving Maniac yeah you know just that you got get anything on that soof yeah like just that name sounds like it's crazy time sounds like it's from the Star Trek yeah it sounds like one of the planets they landed on right zolof is not com the zolof are here I wonder if they named it that to make it seem like it's super Advanced like you're going to take Zola oh it's [ __ ] super Advanced it just sounds like nutty time that's going to fix it yeah that's going to fix it like if there was a legitimate happy that worked like that with everybody that gave you like sort of like a low dose of MDMA all throughout the day yeah it's probably a good thing for everybody there's no side effects I'm mixed on that yeah because I think we were bioengineered to have what we have and when you yeah on a daily basis if you start tinkering with what what the structure was how it was already the architecture of the structure I feel like it's not maybe necessarily a good thing taking cocaine and anti-depressants can interfere with your medications ability to balance the levels of neurotransmitters in your brain making them ineffective and possibly worsening your symptoms essentially anti-depressants are meant to correct any chemical imbalances that may contribute to depression such as low serotonin cocaine on the other hand is abused to spike dop What do you say abused how about youed Buddy to spike dopamine and serotonin levels producing an energetic and euphoric High although this Rush of dopamine and serotonin makes them feel great for a few minutes mixing anti-depressants and cocaine can produce serotonin syndrome which is marked by symptoms like confusion anxiety fear diarrhea vomiting seizures and coma additionally taking cocaine with other drugs also increases the individuals risk of addiction chronic users often require cocaine addiction treatment and treatment for cocaine withdrawal symptoms to recover do you um is there Zoloft mixing Zoloft and cocaine psychotic behavior Google that oh there's got to be cuz I think that was something that like in limited numbers of people they observed some like craziness yeah that's uh poor guy man sorry dude that's a traumatic story yeah it's a rough story but you know it happened 25 years ago or whatever it was still it's just like crazy crazy to believe it's hard to believe you know it's hard to believe that someone could do that to someone that they married to that they have children with that they love supposedly that you would lose your mind that far that you would shoot them in the sleep it's [ __ ] well it's the Jimmy Hendrick um Jim Morrison from the doors you know Janice Joplin syndrome they were cut down they left us with who knows what else to offer us you know like so many Untold joke stories moments like Phil Hartman was obviously multi-talented as an actor too he was an artist as well album covers covers what would still cuz I think didn't he get killed in his late 30s no he's in his 40s 40s so I don't think he even made made it onto Satur Night Live until he was in his late 30s that was like the thing of him is like he was a grinder for so long and he was so talented and he just didn't make it until he did and then everybody's like oh my God this guy's amazing yeah he was [ __ ] great on news radio too such a good comedic actor so funny man such so good at delivering a line like oh such a professional yeah and it was interesting because he came over from s live which is like this really competitive like shitty environment they snipe at each other and do horrible things to each other behind the scenes they do yeah he told me it was terrible like and so when he came to news radio to the sitcom which was the opposite everybody was very loose everybody was silly we'd all go out drinking together and you know it was a good time like there wasn't any like weird shittiness oh good and he didn't he had like adjust so we would tell me about it like the the the like he used like to smoke a little weed so I'd hang out with him and he'd smoke this is back when I wasn't smoking weed and he'd smoke a little weedd we'd talk about stuff and just like you know like he hated being there it's like it was just all backstabbers and yeah I've heard I've heard that story at SNL yeah they they'll steal your ideas for your sketches and you know Jim Brewer had horrible stories about that where they like he had sketch ideas and he'd put them in like the spreadsheet and they they could read the spreadsheet of what you were going do SK the the sketches on so other senior writers would steal those sketches and say we're doing something on that and just like [ __ ] you man yeah it was just like this constant battle and he said he had it with cast members he had it with writers and so Phil was like GH that's not conducive for comedy that just the worst yeah it's the worst for comedy but that's like that really weak man like backstabbing [ __ ] when they get power that that happen happens and some when they have too much power unchecked and no one's watching them and they get away with things like stealing younger writers premises and this and it's all Doge eat dog everybody's just trying to get to the top like that's always been a part of standup always been a part of comedies like people stealing people's bits and the the the famous person steals them and the the unfamous person's [ __ ] and destroys their lives like we've seen it happen before has anyone ripped you off ever yeah sure a bunch of times yeah yeah yeah I confronted people and they told me they wouldn't do it again then I heard they were doing it again like there's there's certain people that have always been Buccaneers they've always been joke Buccaneers you know it's it's a and you know they don't have any friends those those people they have they sometimes have like like a vampire familiar opening act so this opening act will go with them and they'll steal bits from them too there was a bunch of guys that got away with that before the internet rolled around there was there was a predatory type of comedian that would just poach other people's premises and sort of rework them they didn't have any there was nothing that they did that was creative on their own everything was derivative of somebody else's work everything I always heard and I'm sure he could do you know anything he wanted on his own valtion but I had always heard stories that Robin Williams was that guy did you ever hear I heard I heard a lot of stories that he was that guy yeah and I think Robin Williams was so like part of that manic sort of style it's like this constant need to have a a bit about anything that you're talking about ever and killing I think was more important and filling that hole inside of him was more important than anything and so he would just do other people's stuff if he didn't have anything to say did he get confronted by other comedians oh yeah yeah there's a lot of stories Kennison got mad at him oh really he stole from Kennison yeah he stole from everybody stole from a lot of people so it is true i' always heard that yeah yeah it's true if you ask any of those comics from back then there's always instances of Robin going on a talk show and doing your bit or going on this and doing your bit and yeah doing your bit at a club yeah with him do you think it was cuz he was just so spontaneous he would just like puke it out or there's no way you you you've had I think he wanted to kill more than he wanted to be ethical so at any cost any and especially back then when no one was really watching you other than comedians like even up into the 2000s like the a thing happen in 2007 right even then they they were more willing to side with someone who they thought was more profitable than the the the truth than the truth about like what is this person doing and how are they getting this material this is pretty clear that they're plagiarizing and if it's any other form of entertainment like music like they'll they'll bring you to court and you lose like you and then all the money from those songs has to to the original person because you copied their song like that's a that's a classic thing happens in literature all the time uh that woman who was the president of Harvard got busted plagiarizing she's not a president of Harvard anymore there's all that's there's consequences always but in comedy it's always been self- policed yeah you know and so that was it was a so it's a weird thing that thing that people do where they try to Pawn off other people's bits as their own like it's a vampire thing because you're around all these creative people and you're just stealing a little bit from this guy and a little bit from that guy and people are scared of you did you ever put a guy up against the wall and no I didn't have to do that how come cuz I just said things like you just verbally confront man don't do my [ __ ] material anymore you know that's my material yeah just like that and you know they're probably still going to do it unless you want to hurt them but it's like the thing about those people they always get caught and when they get caught they they everything after that sucks this is how you know if a thief is legitimately a thief if they're being unjustly accused they're always going to come up with new material they're always going to be creative they're always going to have new great jokes because they're they're actually writing and working on it but if they're but if it's true what you see is an initial special or something or a few things they do that are really funny and then you see this massive drop off in like the concepts they talk about the what the the the irony that they discover they don't have any like legitimate points where you're like wow that is crazy there's none of that it all goes away and it becomes almost like a person doing an impression of the original successful person because they have no creativity and now now they're exposed so now they have to be really careful so you see that with every Thief you see a couple early like big specials or something and then you see massive drop off and terrible performance after that it's because they're not real yeah I think I can think of a they're they're parasites that's what they are they're vampires and they they're they're stealing from artists and they're tolerated a lot of times because they're very successful and one of the creepy things they do is they start hiring people to work for them like they'll have a television show or something they'll hire legitimate people to work for them and those people now become like they become like confidants and so they kind of keep it under wraps they try to like defend that person publicly it's a very slick PR move for scumbags and some of those people working for them could be writers that will steal for them too on their behalf that becomes a problem too one of the things that we noticed um in the early days of the store is that the guys who are thieves their opening ax would become thieves because even if the opening acts had potential and some of them got out of it and actually became like legit Comics eventually but they were seeing the shortcuts this guy was taking they were seeing this guy driving a Mercedes and they're like I want to take shortcuts too this is how you do it if you want to get by this is my mentor if that's your Mentor if your Mentor is a Buccaneer and you know you're like okay I guess this is a [ __ ] I thought I was an artist I guess it's a doggy dog world uh eventually I'll stop stealing but right now I got to make it bad approach crazy kind of crazy did anyone ever approach you and say hey Rogan that's my bit no I have had people approach me where I know that it wasn't their bit and I know they were trying to steal a bit oh really one of the things that thieves will do I actually do a bit on that too yeah and you're like that's really interesting cuz I've been doing this bit for two years and you've seen me do comedy so what do we do in here so there's like a thing they do to let you know hey I didn't steal this from you but I have a bit on that too but you kind of did didn't you yeah you know there's those moment it's that little kind of poke the cage and then there's also like uh public events like some big thing that happens everyone's going to have a bit on it you know like the submarine explo you can't say hey I do a bit on the submarine the border wall everybody's got AIT on the border wall like this is like there's certain things where it's just you know but you just know we know who's writing we see them we see them go up you know if you go to the Mothership On Any Given night someone's going to do a joke The Bobs and then that joke maybe next time they'll tweak it you know maybe they come up into the Green Room this many times has happened we'll one of us will say a joke I'll say a joke I'm like this joke is just [ __ ] I can't go anywhere with it I got I know there's something there but we'll wework and then will go up with the of it that's like tightened up and then it starts killing like you got we got it it works and so it's like this like Cooperative project but it's just if you're not doing that then you're not creating new material because new material is never perfect it's always like sometimes sometimes it is sometimes you have a bit like came to you every now and then came to you and it's hilarious right away and it kind of stays in that same form but then a lot of times it's like you know there's something there but you don't know how you're going to extract it yeah some of my favorite moment is I'm I'm one of these guys I don't know why I do this I think it's for the thrill of the kill but I love to go to the the show early like at the store or whatever I'll go like you know two Comics early and I'll sit in the back and I don't know what my opening bits going to be and I realized those two Comics have between them about I don't know 25 minutes they're doing 12 minutes each and I go between them and me going up I got to come up with my opening bit and I'll create it as I'm in the back of the room I call it kind of sort of like swimming you know reaching for air when you're drowning right well you know you have to say something I have to forces your brain to come up with something funny to say off the top right and I'll go up and do it as and and again the opening bit is always the hardest like so if you can lay a new bomb as your opening bit that you just came up with I love doing that that's a great way to put yourself under pressure oh I love it I love it have you done bottom of the barrel yet at at the mothership we did it we did it last night next time you're in town on a Tuesday night uh Brian Simpson who we just called oh were you reaching the bucket yes yeah I did it last about a month ago that's the best your back is against the sh Shane and I did it last night for a half an hour we do it together sometimes so Shane and I went up at the end of the show oh my God we had so much fun that's it it's fun so much fun it was so much we're we're laughing we're laughing so hard and we're I'm laughing at him we're laughing at each other we're laughing at the audience the audience is laughing it was like such a party because they know we're just pulling these things out yeah you pull out words right yeah you pull out words you got to oh yeah so like it was cool as a team thing too cuz sometimes he's ranting about something we're all laughing and I'll just while happening I'll pull in the bucket try to find another good one like what's the next one going to be so we got one on deck and so but it's like having that thing where you're forced to come up with something funny in the moment it's like it's it's a good little exercise for creativity yeah and what I'm getting at too is when it hits like when you you know you when you do that it's kind of like a 40 60 ratio a lot of the time 40% success when you get that one that you just came up with and it's 100% even 110 they're rare but it's like oh yeah did you see the Andrew Schultz uh thing that he did about Los Angeles where he's like you know everybody's saying that you guys are a bunch of drug addicts and perverts and Psychopaths but that's just one part of La called Diddy's house like go to this Diddy bit he came up with that in the Green Room oh see before the show yeah he they were Derek was there while he was like like getting ready he was like trying to and Nails it yeah in front of everybody first time he did it kills it's a great exercise because you know you've got the rest of your whole act so in my brain I go let's go up and dive on the sword see if I can you know uh mine some gold and if I don't I don't cuz I got 12 minutes or 30 minutes in the chamber that I know works so I just I love that opening few minutes where you just like throw it out there man yeah it's good it's exciting yeah just putting yourself in a situation like sometimes when you're on stage and you're doing a bit you ever go like in an other direction just to see where it goes just take a little turn oh yeah just see you never know and maybe that turn becomes like the best part of the bit oh absolutely but if you don't do that yeah so like that's how you tell the difference between thieves and Comics thieves don't they don't do that like all of a sudden they just have bits yeah yeah no Switching gears in the moment is amazing and back to what you're saying about SNL that's one of the reasons I love the purity of what we do is because you can deviate you can create your own Meandering pathway as opposed to structured sketches and stuff like that it's really I don't know it's it just lets you soar man yeah I mean I mean you're great in sketches You're great and dumber and dumber that was [ __ ] awesome oh thank you that was hilarious it was funny seen you in there cuz like you were like one of my first friends that was in a giant movie I was like damn look at Harland yeah it was right when probably right around when I met you like it was my first movie and it was like oh no oh no coffee you want some celery uh does that help I think it just makes it if you rub it Jamie tuck me those um um paper towels what is that tea no coffee oh God just want to I like this t-shirt I want to [ __ ] it up um yeah I mean we're lucky as [ __ ] dude we're lucky that we get to do this for a living and you and I have been doing it for so [ __ ] long Jesus I'm sorry what are you doing you dick no it's just what are you doing over there God you pulling your tapeworm out sound a [ __ ] more preparation for this show it's Demetri such a sick [ __ ] you really should go to jail you should go to jail we should Deport you we send you back to Canada for what you've done to me so [ __ ] stupid you had to see it's warm it's been my groin for two hours he had this in his pants you won't touch the cauliflower the slver you'll touch my groin world I'm not into plants but I really like snake harlon Williams you're the [ __ ] man I love you to death thanks you I'm so honored thanks for having me Budd great I'm going to need to recover for a few months but then yeah take Demitri with okay I'll leave him on the he'll stay here forever this is his new home he live amongst the arrowheads and skulls and [ __ ] thank youe pleasure great to see great to be your friend to known you all these years I love you to death you're awesome buddy you too bye everybody [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: PowerfulJRE

Views: 1,115,006

Keywords: Joe Rogan Experience, JRE, Joe, Rogan, podcast, MMA, comedy, stand, up, funny, Freak, Party

Id: pCGCu_v77Do

Length: 151min 47sec (9107 seconds)

Published: Thu May 30 2024