-Our first guest tonight is a Grammy-nominated
comedian and actor. He stars in "Unfrosted," which is streaming on Netflix
May 3rd. Please welcome back to the show, our very good friend
Jim Gaffigan, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ Welcome.
-Thank you. -Jim, it's your -- it is your
10th time on the show. -10th time? I'm co-host.
I am officially the co-host. I'm going to fix
some things around here! -No, no. That's not
where I wanted this to go. You, uh -- I want to celebrate
with something you brought us. -Oh, wow.
-You have your own personal bourbon brand now. -Oh, my gosh,
how did that end up happening? -Well, don't you remember?
You brought them in a box and you were selling it.
-Yeah, I brought them, and I told them
to place it back there, but I didn't know
they were going to do exactly what I wanted.
[ Laughter ] This is my bourbon.
It's called Fathertime. -Yeah?
-And because... You know, people ask, "Why
do you have your own bourbon?" It's because I have children. -Yeah.
You cut out the middleman. -Yes. And so, I know your kids are younger.
-Yeah. -But you're gonna
need this stuff. -Yeah.
-And I think that fathers are generally underappreciated. Who would agree with me? Right?
[ Cheers and applause ] Listen to these divorced dads.
Right? -That's the most muted we've
ever gotten for a call out. That's how bad life is as a dad. People are like, "Do they?" -Well, it is -- First of all,
we got to try this. -Alright, I also drink it
with ice and you're not
gonna judge me. -Feel the weight on that.
-Oh, it's a good weight. -It's nice, right?
-It means so much to everyone. [ Laughter ]
A heavy core. Oh, yeah. -No, I worked really hard
on this. -Oh, you wasted your time.
No one cares. [ Laughter ] -The thing is, it's like this is
unlike other celebrity spirits. -Yeah.
-I'm gonna lose money. -Okay.
-'Cause this is -- I was approached a couple times, but I've had some celebrity
spirits that weren't great. So I called a friend in
Louisville and I was like, "Hey, do you think
that we can buy a couple barrels and make sure that it's good?" And so we --
that's what we did. And then we designed the label,
and it's... -And is that your father?
-That is -- No, that's my grandfather. -That's your grandfather?
-That's my grandfather. By the way, I have to sign this
because every bottle is signed. I signed every bottle.
-Really? -And I really regret
deciding to do that. -Yeah.
-Because in the end, I'm just a lazy guy.
-[ Laughs ] So you're losing money. You've made it more hard
on yourself than anybody else. Like, Clooney's
not signing his tequila. -No, he's not. -He's just making money
and not signing. -That's my grandfather.
-Okay. -And, you know, it's interesting
'cause as your kids get older -- When you become a father, it makes you look at your father
differently. And so over time and --
and during the pandemic, when I became an alcoholic, I realized that, you know,
my dad made more sense. And then it made me consider my
grandfather, who made dentures. I don't want to brag, but...
[ Laughter ] And I remember thinking that's
so weird he made dentures, but he really is a hero
because I found out on "Finding Your Roots"
that he broke a cycle of my family
working in coal mines. Not that there's anything
wrong with coal mines, but we worked in coal mines for,
like, 60, 70 years, and he broke the cycle. So let's give it up
for a Joseph Patrick Gaffigan. [ Cheers and applause ]
So that was... -You know, I, uh --
Cheers, by the way. Cheers to your grandfather.
-Let's see if you like it. -I'm very excited. You can tell it's a heavy cork,
a heavy stopper. It's wonderful.
-It's good, right? -It's very smooth and good. -I mean,
that's the important thing. I wanted it to be smooth. I wanted it to be good,
because it's, you know... -It's, uh, it's smooth
like Gaffigan. Um, you also have -- These are glasses that...
-These are quotes. -These are quotes
on the glasses. Can I read my quote?
-Yes. -"Raising" -- These are
your quotes, I should note. These are not inspirational.
These are just... "Raising kids may be a thankless
job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks."
-Yes. -Yeah.
-And this is "Being a father is definitely the most
important thing I will fail at." -Ooh.
[ Laughter ] -And some of it is, like,
around Father's Day -- You do a lot of family material. -Well, it's cr--
I mean, I have three. You have 5 kids
between the ages of 19 and 11. -I know. I know.
-So how can you not...? No matter
how crazy the world gets, I feel like there must be nothing that generates
better material for you than five children.
-It really is amazing. I mean,
they are slowly killing me. -Yeah.
-But there is an endless supply of material, which is really pain, right? 'Cause that's what standup is. We take pain
and we turn it into "haha." -Yeah. So they're just like
pain factories and then you're
like spinning it into laughs. -I mean, that's why teenagers -- That's why every hurricane's
named after a teenager, right? -Yeah. Yeah.
-It's hard. It's hard. And that's why this is...
-And New York City kids, the fact that you -- 'cause
again, that's where I realized, oh, the people in the suburbs -- I'm not saying it's easy
to have kids in the suburbs, but, my God, this city...
-No. Yeah. I mean, I love New York City. I've lived here for 35 years. I know I look like I'm 36,
but... And I love the city so much, but I would love
to walk maybe a half a block without smelling pot.
-Yeah. -That would be nice.
You know what I mean? I know -- I mean, I've got
an 11- and a 12-year-old, and, you know, it's like,
I'd like them to maybe struggle to find drugs if at all possible.
-Yeah. -But...
[ Laughter ] -Well, I -- You know,
'cause I feel like I learned a lot of my wherewithal
for how hard it was to track down as a kid.
-Yes! -You know?
-That resourcefulness. You looking for drugs
made you great. -Yeah! I'd have to go
to, like, the old quarry. -Right.
And half of it was oregano. -Yeah.
-[ Laughs ] -Meanwhile, these kids
just getting it at like -- There's storefronts now. -If you're watching at home, we're encouraging alcohol
and drugs. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] -You've, um...
I've been very lucky recently. I've been doing some shows
with our friend John Oliver. You've been doing
shows with Jerry Seinfeld. That must be a heck of a night
for people. -Oh, it is crazy.
I mean, Jerry, it's... You know, I'm just happy
that I can help him, you know what I mean?
-'Cause he's had some tough times, right?
-The poor guy. -Financially,
it's not been good. -When's he going to have
some success? -Yeah.
-Do you know what I mean? -Yeah.
-I mean, he had a sitcom, "Seinfeld," "Comedians in Cars,"
"Bee Movie," but other than that...nothing.
-Yeah. It's very sweet of you
to throw the rope down for him. -I just want to help.
You know what I mean? -You're a helpful guy.
-But, you know, it is -- And I'm sure
that John Oliver's like this. There is something,
uh, you know, as a comedian, when you can... when you gain a certain level
of touring and success, you lose contact with people. So it's great when you can do
these shows together with... -Yes.
-...somebody that's so fun. And, you know,
Jerry is just like this encyclopedic knowledge
of comedy. He's like talking to Aristotle
about comedy. -It is nice to be
with someone. Like, I feel like there's
some people who are like, "Oh, I don't want
to talk about work." -Yes.
-All I ever want to do when I'm with another comedian
is talk about work. -Yes. Yes!
-Yeah. -And, you know -- And Jerry is
definitely one of those guys that is constantly
caught up in the theoretics and the -- the logic behind
jokes, so it's really fun. I mean, it's either that
or alcohol. -Yeah. And you, uh,
you've done a film with Jerry. We're going to talk about that
when we get back. More with Jim Gaffigan
in just a minute.
