Our first guest is
an amazing actress, an empathetic activist,
and a brilliant director. She just directed her
first film, Book Smart, which is in theaters now. Oh, she also happens to be
the mother of my children. Please welcome the
stunning Olivia Wilde. [CHEERS] Where is she? Where's who? Where's Ellen? Is she going to jump
out from the thing? Where the thing
they jump out of? Is it this thing? It's not here,
because no she won't. She's not here. No, I told you this. Right, she's not. And then all of a sudden,
she's going to scare me, and she's going to
be like [SCREAMS].. And it's going to be Ellen. I'm so excited. I just love her so much. Yeah, no. She's great, yeah. But I'm serious. She's not here. It's just me. I'm guest hosting. Oh. I thought maybe you were
a guest, and she was-- OK. Yeah. It's just me. It's just you. Yeah, yeah. It's us. So we get to sit and talk? Yeah. That's special. We don't do this
enough, you know? This is nice. We never get this. I'm just kidding. I'm so proud of you. Proud of me-- I'm proud of you. Are you kidding me? Give me a break. [CHEERS] Now, look, you've done
this show a few times, I've done this show a few times. Yes. Last time that we
were here together, you and our good pal Ellen,
you guys cut my hair. You cut my hair. It's the best day of my life. You loved that. I loved it. I feel you guys both loved it. Who just sits there with two
insane women with scissors? Look at that. Yeah. That's Ellen. Yeah, just right there. That is how much you love her. And I appreciate it because-- It's how much I
trust both of you. I was a little worried you
were going to cut off my ear, and I was going to look
like Spock at some point. Me too We were both worried. My priority was that it look
good, not that it be funny. And I wanted it to be something
that we could all live with-- all of us, you and me. From your perspective,
being worried about my bangs,
when I was worried about being able to see-- Priority. Listen, bangs are
very, very scary. I don't recommend-- Absolutely. Yeah. But I don't think Oedipus
was about him having bangs. Right. I know, right? I'm just saying. Check out Oedipus on Wikipedia. So do remember what the
kids said after they saw it? Yeah. Well, they had different
reactions, slightly. Different kids. Yeah. Our son Otis has really,
really long hair. Yes. And he saw it and
he was like, what? Nerd. He just kept being like, why? Yeah. He's like, oh, what a yuppie. Look at this kid. But he has hair like, I
don't know, Claudia Schiffer. It's different. Yeah. It's amazing, yeah. But Daisy had barely ever
seen you with short hair or without a beard. Exactly. Little Dai-- Hey. Otis said to me-- I remember he goes, dada,
why'd you break your hair off? Which I think is a pretty
dope way to put it. Because mommy really
wanted you to. Yeah. And Ellen made it
happen, because she is like Santa Claus for hair. She is. She's like Santa Claus
with hair and more homes. Yes. Now, speaking of
our kids, I do want to take this opportunity
in front of a bunch people to ask you, why do
you keep traumatizing our son at amusement parks? No, no. Yeah, yeah. This is important. This is something I
wanted to bring up. Liv and I took
Otis when he was-- for his fourth birthday
to Disney World-- Disneyland, excuse me. Yeah, big difference. Big difference, big
difference-- thousands of miles. Yeah. He likes Splash Mountain,
and we did it again. And then we got cocky and we
took him on Space Mountain. And I think we have
a photo of our time on Space Mountain with our son. Oh, no. It's really traumatizing for
me, because you're not supposed to take a four-year-old on-- look at my face. I've never been so
scared in my life. That's real mom fear. And that's real
little boy fear too. I know. Listen, there's a height chart-- He looks like he's in The Ring. First of all, why did
we go in the front? That I'll never understand. Second of all, why
did they let him on? There's a height chart, but
there's no weight chart. So he's really tall,
but he's really skinny. He's like a little string bean. Right. He could have flown
right out of there. Yeah. I have never been so
scared in my life. The reason why they let
him on that roller coaster is because we wrote them a
check for $500,000, which you can get anything
you want for that money. No. [APPLAUSE] You can get anything you want. I don't think so. That's the real fast pass. Oh, god. Now, here's my question for
you-- which one of our kids do you think is going to
be the most trouble when they get older? Daisy. Daisy, I agree. Definitely Daisy. Easy. because if she's like me-- We call her Crazy Daisy,
which is probably-- I do hair too. I do hair. Yeah. She is, I think, like me,
and I was a nightmare. So she'll probably
be a nightmare. Do you think she'll get
a tattoo at 13, like you? If not younger. They're so much more
advanced these days. What? She might get like
a baby tramp stamp. Yeah, a little tiny
baby tramp stamp. Peeks out over the pull-up. It's like flames, wings. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, absolutely. Who knows what it'll say. Yeah, exactly. I support it. Yeah, you got to. She should go. She should find herself. They're their own people. That's fine. She'll become a
Instagram or whatever-- An influencer? Influencer, yeah. And then we can just chill. We'll just chill out. Yeah, just do that. Just drink our boxed wine and-- That's right. --make a lot of
noise, and then-- I really look forward to it. --tell the neighbors
to leave us alone. Yeah. OK, look, we'll be
right back with Olivia. Stick around. Hi, I'm Andy. Ellen asked me to remind you
to subscribe to her channel so you can see more
awesome videos, like videos of me getting scared
or saying embarrassing things-- like ball-peen hammer--
and also some videos of Ellen and other
celebrities, if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, [BLEEP]. God [BLEEP].
