LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM, MY NEXT GUESTS HAVE TWO OSCARS, EIGHT
EMMYS, A GRAMMY, TWO TONYS, AND SOME WORKOUT TAPES. ( LAUGHTER )
THEY NOW STAR IN THE NETFLIX SERIES "GRACE AND FRANKIE". >> GRACE --
I AM A PRIVATE PERSON. YOU ARE THE LEAST PRIVATE
PERSON IN THE WORLD! FIRST TIME I MET YOU, YOU PULLED
OFF YOUR SHIRT AND SAID, DO THESE THINGS LOOK RIGHT TO YOU? >> LOOK, I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO
TELL YOU BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN WORKING WITH YOU AND
SLEEPING WITH JACOB. THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE COFFEE
BREAKS. >> I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR EVERY
SHOULD I AND SHOULDN'T I WITH YOU TWO. HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HANGING
NOW? >> I DON'T KNOW, YOU MADE SUCH A
BIG DEAL OUT OF SEX AND THE VAGINA, AND IT IS A BIG DEAL. HAVING A PAIR OF SCISSORS ON THE
BEDSIDE TABLE JUST DOESN'T SET THE RIGHT TONE. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
JANE FONDA AND LILY TOMLIN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE. >> THANK YOU FOR INVITING US. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? GOOD, YOU KNOW. I HAVE BEEN GREAT, I HAVE
BEEN FANTASTIC. >> Stephen: NOT A CONTEST, BUT
LILY SEEMS TO BE WINNING. >> THINGS DON'T AFFECT HER AS
MUCH AS THEY AFFECT ME. >> Stephen: YOU GUYS HAVE
KNOWN EACH OTHER 32 YEARS? >> 72 YEARS. >> Stephen: OH YOU MET DURING
THE HOOVER ADMINISTRATION. ( LAUGHTER )
37 YEARS AGO, 9:00 TO 5:00. KIND OF A GROUND-BREAKING MOVIE. IT'S LIKE A WOMEN'S POWER IN THE
WORKPLACE COMEDY, BUT I UNDERSTAND IT DIDN'T START OFF
AS A COMEDY. >> NO, I CO-PRODUCED IT. WE STARTED IT OFF WITH VERY DARK
COMEDY. ONE NIGHT I WENT TO SEE LILY IN
HER ONE SHOW APPEARING NIGHTLY AND I WAS SMITTEN AND I SAID I
DON'T TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT SECRETARIES UNLESS SHE'S IN IT. THEN I TURNED ON THE RADIO ON MY
WAY HOME AND SHE WAS PLAYING TWO DOORS DOWN. IMAGINE IF DOLLY PARTON WAS
PLAYING SECRETARY -- OF COURSE YOU COULDEN SEE HER HANDS -- BUT
I HAD TO HAVE THEM TO TURN IT INTO A COLDY. IT TOOK A YEAR TO CONVINCE THEM. >> Stephen: IT TOOK A YEAR? TO GET HER AND DOLLY TO DO
IT. >> Stephen: HI DIDN'T YOU WANT
TO DO IT? >> I DIDN'T WANT TO DO A CHEAP
COMEDY. >> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ARTIST
ON BROADWAY. >> I WAS LOOKING AT SOMETHING
MORE SERIOUS. I HAD TO PERSUADE HER THAT I
WASN'T THE RIGHT PERSON FOR HER. >> SHE'S NOT KIDDING. NOT KIDDING? IT TOOK A YEAR TO CONVINCE
HER AND AFTER A WEEK OF SHOOTING SHE ASKED MY PRODUCING PARTNER
TO LET HER GO AND SHE WOULD GIVE THE WEEK WITH'S MONEY BACK. >> Stephen: IS THAT TRUE? YES. >> Stephen: WHY DID YOU WANT
TO BACK OUT AFTER A WEEK? >> I SAW MYSELF ON DOREEN SOUTH
KOREAN IN THE DAILIES AND I WAS TALKING TO THE BIRDS THAT
WEREN'T THERE AND I WAS NOT DOING A GOOD JOB AND I THOUGHT,
OH, I'M GOING TO BE HORRIBLE IN THIS. IT WAS MY ONLY SECOND MOVIE --
THIRD MOVIE, I GUESS. >> SO? >> Stephen: BUT YOU STAYED
FRIENDS? >> I WAS SO GLAD, I SAW THE NEXT
DAY'S DAILIES, AND I WAS SO GOOD! ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE DANGER, YOU CAN'T WATCH YOURSELF. >> I BEGGED HER SO LET ME BE IN
IT. >> I WATCH ALL THE DAILY LIS AND
THEN REPORT TO HER. >> Stephen: REALLY? I DO. WE DID STAY FRIENDS. >> OH, WE DID. WE DID. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU
GUYS DID THE WOMEN'S MARCH OUT IN --
>> L.A. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: A SHOCK TO EVERYBODY. >> 750,000 PEOPLE, MEN, WOMEN,
BABY CARRIAGES, WHEELCHAIRS. >> DOGS. WERE THERE, YES
( LAUGHTER ) SNOWYOU'VE DONE SOME PROTESTING
IN THE PAST, JANE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> RIGHT. >> Stephen: THIS IS YOU
ARRESTED FOR PROTESTING IN 1970. THAT'S A GOOD MUG SHOP. NOBODY EVER GETS ONE THAT GOOD. >> I WAS ACCUSED OF SMUGGLING
DRUGS. THEY WERE VITAMIN PILLS. THE GUY ARRESTING ME SAID HE WAS
TAKING ORDERS FROM THE NIXON WHITE HOUSE. IT WAS A FRAMEUP. >> Stephen: WERE YOU ON THE
NIXON ENEMIES LIST? >> WELL, I JUST -- YES, I WAS! ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WHAT AN HONOR! I KNOW! >> Stephen: IF I FIND OUT I
WASN'T ON TRUMP'S ENEMY LIST, I WILL BE VERY INSULTED. >> DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL BE
THERE. >> Stephen: DID YOU GET
ARRESTED? >> WELL -- NO. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A
LAWYER PRESENT BEFORE YOU ANSWER THAT QUESTION, LILY TOM LYNN? >> I KIND OF WOULD. >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO POINT
SOMETHING OUT HERE, JANE FONDA, IF I MAY. >> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO
DO. >> Stephen: YOU'RE MAKING
LEMONADE OUT OF LEMONS. HERE'S YOUR MUG SHOT. IF YOU GO TO JANEFONDA.com YOU
CAN BUY A MUGSHOT MUG. DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS FOR SALE? ( APPLAUSE )
>> IT'S MY BLOG! >> Stephen: WELL I DON'T RUN
THE STORE AT CBS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE
SELLING WITH MY FACE ON IT. >> ALL THE MONEY GOES TO MY
NONPROFIT. >> Stephen: GOES FOR CHARITY,
THAT'S NICE. ( APPLAUSE )
SO THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED BUT WILL BE MEM
MERCHANDISED. >> I HAVE A BUSINESS MODEL FOR
TRUMP. >> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT? ADULT DIAPERS, THEY COULD BE
CALLED TRUMPERS, TO HELP WITH ALL THE LEAKS! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: YOUNG LADIES. YES. >> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUR SHOW, "GRACE AND FRANKIE." >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU'RE TWO FRIENDS
WHO END UP LIVING TOGETHER AFTER YOUR HUSBANDS FALL IN LOVE WITH
EACH OTHER AND LEAVE YOU. >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU SUPPORT EACH
OTHER AND YOU HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. YOU GO INTO BUSINESS IN SEASON
3. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE
BUSINESS YOU GO INTO. >> ADULT VIBRATORS FOR OLDER
WOMEN. AT THE END OF SEASON 2 A VERY
DEAR FRIEND OF OURS GIVES US BOTH PRESENTS AND THE ONE SHE
GIVES ME IS A VIBRATOR AND GRACE NEVER USED ONE AND SHE ENDS UP
WITH CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME AND SHE CAN'T READ THE DIRECTIONS
BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO SMALL, SO THEY DECIDE TO MAKE VIBRATORS
FOR ADULT WOMEN WITH VERY EASILY MOVABLE HEADS SO YOU DON'T HAVE
TO MOVE -- YOU KNOW. IS AND SHE COMES UP WITH THIS
GREAT RUBBER SLEEVE YOU PUT ON. AND ALSO THE PRINTING IS BIG AND
THE SPEEDS GLOW IN THE DARK. >> Stephen: WHAT GLOWS IN THE
DARK? >> THE SPEEDS -- YOU KNOW, SLOW,
MEDIUM, FAST. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: GOOD. GOOD. AND IS YOUR CHARACTER ON BOARD
WITH THIS? >> OH, YEAH, WELL, I WAS
FAMILIAR WITH VIBRATORS BEFORE. ( LAUGHTER )
MY CHARACTER WAS FAMILIAR. >> Stephen: SURE. BY THE WAY, I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY
CBS THAT WE CAN DISCUSS THIS AS LONG AS IT'S IN THE CONTEXT OF
THE SHOW. >> AND ANATOMICALLY CORRECT. >> Stephen: REALLY? YES, THAT'S WHAT WE WERE
TOLD. >> Stephen: BECAUSE I DON'T
KNOW OF ANY PENISES THAT DO THIS. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> IT'S FOR WOMEN! >> Stephen: I KNOW, BUT
ANATOMICALLY CORRECT WHAT? WHAT IS IT THAT'S ANATOMICALLY
CORRECT? >> NO SLANG. >> Stephen: OH, NO SLANG! YOU CAN'T CALL IT LIKE A STEELY
DAN OR SOMETHING. ( LAUGHTER )
>> TELL HER WHAT THE NAME OF IT IS. >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE NAME. HE'LL CRITICIZE MY FRENCH
BUT IT'S M -- MENAGE AMOIR. >> Stephen: SE LA VIE! ( LAUGHTER )
LOVELY TO SEE YOU BOTH. >> NOTICE OUR PLANNED PARENTHOOD
PINS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: SEASON 3 OF "GRACE AND FRANKIE" IS AVAILABLE ON
NETFLIX. JANE FONDA AND LILY TOMLIN,
EVERYBODY!
