WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. MY NEXT GUEST HOSTS "THE LEAD"
AND "STATE OF THE UNION" ON CNN. PLEASE WELCOME JAKE TAPPER! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ JAKE TAPPER! >> I BROUGHT A GIFT. I BROUGHT A GIFT. >> Stephen: NORMALLY I DON'T
ASK WHAT PEOPLE ARE CARRYING OUT WITH THEM. >> IT'S A DARTMOUTH SWEATSHIRT. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A
SOUVENIR FOR ME. >> THE REASON IS BECAUSE YOUR
CHARACTER FROM "THE COLBERT REPORT" WAS A DARTMOUTH ALUMNUS. >> Stephen: I WENT TO
NORTHWESTERN. >> I ACTUALLY DID GO TO
DARTMOUTH. >> Stephen: AS FAR AS WE KNOW. >> FAKE NEWS. >> Stephen: FAKE NEWS, JAKE. YOU LIE. YOU LIE. YOU LIE. >> YOU ENDED UP ON THE COVER OF
"THE ALUMNI MAGAZINE BEFORE I DID. >> Stephen: YES. >> EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NEVER
SET FOOT IN HANOVER, NEW HAMPSHIRE. >> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE. >> BUT IN ANY CASE, DARTMOUTH
FINALLY INVITED ME TO GIVE THE COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS. >> Stephen: OH,
CONGRATULATIONS. >> THIS COMING JUNE. >> Stephen: I'M VERY HAPPY TO
HAVE THIS. IT'S HIGH QUALITY. >> CHAMPION. >> Stephen: THAT IS HIGH
COTTON RIGHT THERE. SPEAKING OF YOU AND CNN AND FAKE
NEWS, OUR PRESIDENT, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,
COMMANDER IN CHIEF, HAS CALLED YOUR NETWORK FAKE NEWS, FRAUD,
THE WORST, SO BIASED, FAILING, UNWATCHABLE AIR, DISGRACE TO THE
BROADCASTING INDUSTRY, DISGUSTING PHONY REPORTING,
UNPROFESSIONAL, BAD TELEVISION, AND CNN CAN GO TO HELL. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW-- >> HE CERTAINLY WATCHES US A
LOT. >> Stephen: YEAH. SURE, SURE. SO WHY-- WHY-- WHY ARE YOU SO
MEAN TO HIM, JAKE? IF YOU GUYS JUST DIDN'T FACT
CHECK HIM ANYMORE, HE WOULDN'T BE SAYING THESE THINGS ABOUT
YOU. >> IT'S A GOOD POINT. >> Stephen: ARE YOU-- WHAT'S
IT LIKE IN THE HALLS OVER THERE KNOWING THAT YOU, THAT THE
PRESIDENT ACTIVELY DOESN'T LIKE YOUR NETWORK. HOW DO PEOPLE FEEL OVER THERE? >> I DON'T THINK ANYBODY CARES. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND, I MEAN -- >> Stephen: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. >> I'M NOT COMPARING THE TWO,
BECAUSE THEY'RE QUITE DIFFERENT, BUT I DON'T THINK PRESIDENT
OBAMA WAS A PARTICULAR FAN OF MINE. I MEAN, THE JOB IS TO NOT BE
LIKED. THAT'S YOUR JOB, TO BE LIKED. >> Stephen: YES. >> MY JOB-- MY JOB IS NOT TO BE
LIKED. MY JOB IS TO TELL THE TRUTH AND
DELIVER THE FACTS AND HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NOT ME. >> NOT YOU. I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR A LONG TIME
I WOULD NEVER HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE. >> Stephen: WE HAVE KNOWN EACH
OTHER 13 YEARS. WE MET ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL IN
IOWA. >> SOME SCHOOL OR SOMETHING. >> Stephen: IT WAS A SCHOOL OR
A BARN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. AND I WAS TRYING TO INTERVIEW
HOWARD DEAN. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: HE WOULDN'T-- HE
WOULD ONLY ANSWER ONE QUESTION, AND--
>> YOU ASKED HIM WHAT SOUND DOES A COW MAKE? >> Stephen: I SAID, WHAT DOES
THE COW SAY?" AND HE SAID, "WELL, THE COW
KNOWS THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION THE TAXES ON THE FARMERS..." AND
HE DID THIS TWO-MINUTE ANSWER. >> IT WAS AWFUL, IT WAS AWFUL. >> Stephen: AND I SAID, "I'M
SORRY, THE ANSWER IS MOO." THAT'S IT. I WENT THERE FOR TWO DAYS AND
THAT'S THE ONLY ANSWER I GOT. I'M BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE
WALL. I'M GOING WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWO DAYS,
WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL JON STEWART AND FROM DOWN THE
HALLWAY I HEARD, "WELL, YOU GOT MORE THAN I "D." >> AND WE WERE BOTH TWO HUNGRY
CORRESPONDENTS DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET ON AIR. >> Stephen: ANY AIR TIME AT
ALL. I WAS WITH YOU AT THE
CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER IN 2005, THE YEAR BEFORE I DID IT, WHEN I
FOUND OUT I WAS GOING TO DO THE "COLBERT REPORT. >> HE'S MY DATE, AND HE GOT UP
HALF AN HOUR, 40 MINUTES LATER AND SAID, "I JUST SIGNED A DEAL
FOR MY OWN SHOW." >> Stephen: AND I TOLD YOU
WHAT THE IDEAL WAS. >> HE WAS GOING TO DO THE
STEPHEN COLBERT CHARACTER. >> Stephen: AND YOU SAID... >> "YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO
THAT FOR HALF AN HOUR?" >> Stephen: YEAH, I REMEMBER. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> I'M SORRY, THAT'S JUST HOW
I'M WIRED. I APOLOGIZE. BUT TO BE FAIR, NOW THAT AMERICA
HAS GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU. >> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH. >> THE REAL YOU AND NOT THE
CHARACTER, I JUST MEANT I PREFERRED THIS ONE. >> Stephen: OH, THAT'S VERY
NICE. YOU'RE VERY KIND. YOU'RE VERY KIND. >> YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING IN
( APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: NOW, YOU
INTERVIEWED KELLYANNE CONWAY JUST LAST NIGHT. OKAY. AND SHE BESEECHED YOU,
BESEECHED-- SHE USED THE WORD "BESEECHED." SHE BESEECHED TO USE A MORE
RESPECTFUL TONE AND SHOULD COVERAGE CHANGE OF DONALD TRUMP
ONCE HE'S THE PRESIDENT? SHOULD IT CHANGE ITS TONE? >> I THINK THAT OUR COVERAGE
FOLLOWS HIS LEAD. AND I THINK THAT IF HE PIVOTED,
AS HE CLAIMED HE WOULD -- >> Stephen: BE PRESIDENTIAL. >> WAS MORE PRESIDENTIAL. >> Stephen: MORE PRESIDENTIAL
THAN ANYBODY HAS BEEN PRESIDENTIAL. >> HE DIDN'T SEND OUT NASTY
TWEETS ABOUT NORDSTROM'S OR JUDGES OR GO TO THE NATIONAL
PRAYER BREAKFAST AND TALK ABOUT HOW BAD ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S
RATINGS ARE. >> Stephen: PRETTY BAD. >> THEY'RE PRETTY BAD? ( LAUGHTER )
BUT IF HE DIDN'T DO THAT SORT OF THING, THEN I WOULD BE
DELIGHTED, FRANKLY, TO COVER THE POLICIES MORE. I MEAN, NOT THAT WE'RE NOT
COVERING THEM. WE ARE COVERING THE CABINET
NOMINEES AND THE TRAVEL BAN. BUT THERE'S THIS WHOLE OTHER
THING GOING ON WITH HIS WHITE HOUSE --
>> Stephen: IT'S A VERY LEAKY WHITE HOUSE. >> MANY LEAKS. >> Stephen: IS IT LEAKIER--
>> PLEASE DON'T GO WHERE I THINK YOU'RE GOING --
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I'M NOT GOING NOWHERE NEAR
MOSCOW. I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE IN NEW
YORK. WHAT-- IS IT-- YOU'VE COVERED A
LOT OF WHITE HOUSES AND A LOT OF ADMINISTRATIONS. IS THIS LEAKIER THAN THEY
NORMALLY ARE? >> I THINK SO. >> Stephen: WHY DO YOU THINK
THAT IS? >> I THINK-- THERE ARE A FEW
REASONS. I THINK THERE ARE PEOPLE INSIDE
THE GOVERNMENT WHO ARE-- WHEN ARE NOT TRUMP POLITICAL
APPOINTEES BUT THEY'RE JUST-- HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT. I THINK THERE ARE A LOT OF
PEOPLE WHO ARE ALARMED OR CONFUSED AS TO WHAT'S GOING ON. AND THEN I THINK THERE ARE ALL
THESE DIFFERENT LITTLE TURFS WITHIN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE,
AND THEY'RE ALL COMPETING FOR HIS ATTENTION AND HIS IDEAS. AND THEY KIND OF TRASH TALK EACH
OTHER TO DIFFERENT REPORTER S. >> Stephen: TO POSITION
THEMSELVES AS THE POWER BROKER IN THE WHITE HOUSE? >> YEAH, THERE ARE COMPETING
INTERESTS. THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. BUT USUALLY IT TAKES A FEW
YEARS, AND USUALLY THEY'RE NOT THIS BLATANT. >> Stephen: DOESN'T TAKE TWO
WEEKS FOR THE KNIVES TO COME OUT. >> OR TWO HOURS. YEAR, IT WAS PRETTY QUICK. >> Stephen: WELL WL, YOU'VE
GOT A NEW SHOW COMING UP ON CNN. IT'S A SERIES. HOW MANY PARTS. >> ABILITY-PART SERIES, I
BELIEVE. "THE HISTORY OF COMEDY." >> Stephen: "THE HISTORY OF
COMEDY." WHAT IS THE HISTORY OF COMDIERK
JAKE TAPPER. DO INFORM ME? >> I AM MERELY AN EMISSARY. I'M MERELY AN AMBASSADOR FROM
CNN ABOUT THIS. I'M IN ONE EPISODE BUT I'M NOT
RAWL RALE -- >> Stephen: YOU'RE IN ONE
EPISODE. WHAT DO YOU DO? >> POLITICAL COMEDY. >> Stephen: AND YOU DIDN'T
THINK ABOUT CALLING ME OR ANYTHING LIKE, THAT DIDN'T OCCUR
TO YOU, "STEPHEN IS A FRIEND OF MINE." >> YOU'RE A CHIT I ONLY USE. >> Stephen: YOU NEVER CHITTED
ME. >> I DID. WHEN THE LEAD WITH JAKE TAPPER
FIRST STARTED YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST INTERVIEWS, AND YOU SHAMED
ME FROM EVER DRINKING JACK AND COKE FROM EVER AGAIN. WE WERE DHOOG INTERVIEW IN A
BAR, AND I HAD A JACK AND COKE WHICH IS WHAT I HAD BEEN
DRINKING FOR 20 YEARS AND HE MADE FUN OF ME FOR IT, AND I'VE
NEVER HAD ONE SINCE. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, I
APOLOGIZE. >> IT'S OKAY. >> Stephen: I APOLOGIZE. >> IT'S OKAY. >> Stephen: JAKE, IT'S LOVELY
TO SEE YOU. >> ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> Stepehn: "THE HISTORY OF
COMEDY" PREMIERES TOMORROW ON CNN. JAKE TAPPER, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE
DIRECTOR OF "O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA," EZRA EDELMAN. STICK AROUND.
Don't watch CNN but is it safe to assume Jake Tappers job is to look good and read a teleprompter?