Italian Bread

because when i was a kid i was heavy i was a kid i was re i was fat i'm not gonna hide i'm like a husky you're just husky i'm fat i see the kids laughing i was i was 82 pounds in kindergarten if anyone has a child that's five years old five think of what they look like right now in your head and how much they weigh i might have been tripled that 82 pounds fat cheats belly moving always looking to play kids are scared of fat kids oh my god i'm gonna go back here it's gonna hurt us you're gonna hurt us because we have so much energy from the sugar like oh no i don't know three hundred grams will serve your headache [Laughter] oh get that let's do pylon but you're not allowed to [Laughter] it's true man and i thought i got rid of that you go through periods of your life maybe after you have children you pack on some weight you're married after a while you pack on some weight you don't have to try so hard with each other you get lazy and you start hitting 40 50. you're like oh my god and i went to italy yeah i've never been there they bring you bread before anything i don't i don't understand the language [Music] you know and that little kid came out treated other tables are staring at me [Applause] boy [Music] it's hot and it's moist and it's made by some woman named like maria she's singing [Laughter] [Music] wine this went on for days i was abusive i was abusive to myself and i thought my wife is um very she tries to be health conscious you know your problem is you can't have gluten gem 52 there's three teenagers in my house and a wife it's gluten if you stop eating bread you know it wouldn't get it i'm telling you it makes you emotional and swells your face i can tell when you had bread the night before because your face is all fat under here his neck is fat and she pulls in her mom mom do you agree with me look at jimmy and isn't his face swollen it's from the gluten [Laughter] and we'll go out to dinner and she won't allow the bread to come you know you know you know how hard that is once you become a man i i not to be chauvinist well like hey man i'm a man i'm 52 i work make money do it again if i want bread i'm gonna eat the bread cause i earned that bread who's paying to build it [Applause] we don't want any bread yeah we want the gluten and she tells me don't salt cause i salt that's how pissed i'm at at a restaurant because she won't let me have brenda i'm pissed at her okay if you knew what i you know what man when i go on the road i mean a lot of bread just it's good it's gonna be rebellious angry just oh am i not allowed to have this [Laughter] time i must stain my shirt with the oil so she calls me up all right i'm gonna meet you in italy it's gonna be great okay how you doing hey you know i'm doing all right how's how are you doing eating and drinking oh you know doing all right and i actually felt good and i was gonna and i was gonna uh i thought okay now i'm safe my wife's coming no more gorging and eating like a savage she comes to italy this was a very moving moment for me it told a lot waitress comes over [Music] smell me i know you think new york and brooklyn bread is amazing from the water but this is from the motherland smell it it is made from life my elephant ears are doing this [Laughter] and she goes the way she's and i thought she was gonna say she goes like this in a waitress excuse me i went oh my god i have to make a stance here if she says i can't have the bread we are in italy i'll sell and she goes can we have oil for the bread i went oh my god my wife's awesome she's starting to because this is a big moment for someone like you know if you travel whatever whatever side works you do like being recognized or acknowledged in a way just like everyone does like wow you finally that's so cool you get that i'm busting my ass trying to make people laugh in europe counting you know i just booked a tour thinking the mets aren't gonna make it and you're gonna allow me to have this bread and not only that you know i like olive oil with the bread and then she goes do you have cheese and why i love this woman that's why i'm married to her and then she proceeds to look at me take the bread so what are you doing she goes this bread is totally different it's got no preservatives i don't even think it's gluten-free and both of us had a watering hog i want the end piece

Channel: Breuniverse

Views: 89,436

Rating: 4.9070282 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 8FDkRVs5L6M

Length: 10min 0sec (600 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 30 2020