Is Everyone Using Me For My Costco Membership?

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(smooth jazz music) (people chatting) - Well, that's the last of it. - Oh, thanks, Katie. - Thank you, Katie. - You're the best. - That's great. - Oh, Katie. I'm having people over to my house this weekend and I would love it if you would come. Please, please, please. - Yeah, I don't have any plans for the weekend. I'd love to. - Great. Oh, and, before you come let's hit a Costco. I want to get one of those 40-pound hams. - 40 pound. - Oh yeah, Costco. - Costco, Costco. - Costco run. - 40-Pound ham, 40-pound ham. - Hey, do you guys actually like me? - (group) What? Yeah. - Okay, I know this sounds crazy but sometimes it feels like you just use me for my Costo membership. - What? Katie, that is crazy. We love hanging out with you and eating free samples. - And going to town on some bulk hummus. - Or eating cafeteria chicken bake. - Everything you've just mentioned happens at a Costco. God, is that the only reason we hang out? - No. I'm sorry you feel that way, Costco, or Katie? Katie. - Katie, yeah. - Look, how 'bout after work we go to a park like old times? - We've never done that. - Oh hey, Grant, just hypothetically, theoretically, which exact park was it that you were thinking of? - Well, I was thinking the one by the strip mall. - Oh. - The strip mall with the Costco? - Why yes it is. - Wouldn't it be like dumb and ironic if we went to the Costco after the park? - Oh my God. That is so dumb and ironic. - No. - Fine, if you don't want to go to the park, we can go see a movie. - Really? You just want to hang out and see a movie? - Yes, in fact I'd like to see eight movies. They sell those bulk passes at Costco. - Costco, how bout that? - Yeah, Costco. - No, you can't just use me for bulk goods. - Fine. If we can't go to Costco, do you guys want to check out the Big Easy Bar? - Oh, yeah. - Yes, that sounds like so much more fun, and I've never been there. - Oh no, I was talking to them. The core five. You understand. - (group) Core Five! - Core Five! See, I can do it too, okay? There's no reason that it just has to be, just add a six. - Besides Katie, how would you even get there? Our cars only have five seats. - I could drive myself. - See, now you're dealing with logistics and it's ruined. - Fucking God damn it. - Katie, calm down. Have something to drink. Here's 60 beers. - Or a ton of chocolate milk. - Or a gallon of cold medicine. - Or an entire wheel of brie. - Or a school of shrimp. - No. No, no, no! I'm not your little Costco bitch, okay? I'm as cool as all you motherfuckers and I deserve an invite! I'm fun as hell! Okay? - Katie, you're sweating. Here. (Katie screams) - No, Katie, no! No! - [Man] She's crazy. She's crazy. Trip her up, trip her up. - Katie, God damn it! - Trip her up, trip her up. (heart monitor beeps) - This is why we don't invite you places. (melancholy music) - Alright, let's go to Sam's Club. - Oh man. - Sam's Club. - [Woman] Hasn't Katie done this before? - [Man] Yeah, I feel like she's died. (Katie exhales) (heart monitor beeping) - Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from CollegeHumor. If you want to subscribe click over here, and for more fun stuff click over here. And if you want access to CollegeHumor's secret site, make sure you send your social security number, your credit card information, and your mother's maiden name in a private message to me.
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Channel: CollegeHumor
Views: 3,836,687
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: Collegehumor, CH originals, comedy, sketch comedy, internet, humor, funny, sketch, costco, friends, schemes
Id: oUZFuS0c0Ak
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 3min 24sec (204 seconds)
Published: Fri Dec 02 2016
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