Is a Hotdog a Sandwich? I The LoPriore Podcast #123

[Music] hey there brother what's going on there little Buckaroo boy you go on America's birthday party this Tuesday bet your [ __ ] goddamn ass I am I like the sound of that yeah I hope there's a lot of girls there I don't say what why not because America is like America it's like a kind of gay I think you're right it is America [Music] America's kind of gay kind of gay America America's kind of gay kinda gay spent my life on the boards just thinking why thank you that every time I watch TV I like the guys I watch pro wrestling with the sound off my living room [Music] they're sweaty and mostly and Ripley I'm leaving soon believe it's here cause America's kind of gay America America of America's kind of gay it is [Music] everyone's just gonna watch fireworks we all get days out from work [Music] we forget about the bad times when we brought people over on shifts [Music] we just make hot dogs and burgers and forget about that [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all night drinking Bud Lights cause I'm gay threat American Americas it's kind of gay Jared why are you telling why you're gay just gay yeah cause I'm from the USA that's right I'm gay all right cause it's okay that's right I'm from the USA this colors don't run and if they did they'd run down the crack of my ass oh take your red Riders well take your pillow bottles make them gay hell yeah even gayer than they already are cause it's America brother [Music] kind of gay top gun's a great movie because it's gay America's kind of guy if you think about it America America's kind of guy that's right [Music] [Applause] we like to watch Grown Man fight in the octagon are you ready this is America 's kind of gay [Music] America is gay though it is pretty gay I can't why can't we just accept that America's gay yeah leave it alone why is everybody got to get to it why is everybody getting get involved in everybody else's business business being buttholes yeah well business business yeah like we were saying or scissoring whatever you guys do horses scissoring is gay scissoring's awesome yeah scissoring if no matter what's going on whoever's doing it's kind of gay I love scissors scissoring's fantastic have you ever scissored somebody no I did on the Dance Floor once how did you do that uh my friend Sammy my friend Sammy and I well when you all have jeans on everybody has a vagina right that's true yeah yeah like your Wiener's tucked and like hidden right so we were both met on the Dance Floor we just met each other and we just started uh scissoring who won uh I think maybe Sammy did I was really interesting I was really drunk though when I'm drunk I'm kind of feisty so maybe I won I think first the first time I ever saw scissoring obviously was in a porno and I was like how does this work yeah it's wild looking right yeah because they're just bashing clits also excuse me also uh isn't that [Applause] uh but yeah like I'm trying to think about it now it I was I remember just like we were dancing actually at the time I was with a girl that I was just getting to know okay and we weren't dating but we were uh we were you know we were getting there we wound up being my girlfriend like later on but her first introduction to me like hanging out was she turned in and it was like it was like Back That Ass a little fun and we go she goes inside the room to like talk to me and I'm [ __ ] scissoring another girl just going like this on the Dance Floor I don't know if I met my boyfriend scissoring that'd be pretty cool yeah it was a they she was really upset she was like kind of upset and everyone had to tell her that's just how I get down but it doesn't mean anything I've never seen a guy scissor a girl on the dance floor it was kind of awesome I'm trying to picture it in my head well I also always wondered about like are there like friction Burns if you go too hard on each other like isn't that kind of like because it's a lot more rubbing than it is yeah yeah you got to put butter in there there's secretion that comes out of women so they don't get rashes is this secret yeah it's a Creech it's a crease womenly secretions that they have that keep them so they can bump clits and it's funny like because they're positioning they're kind of just staring at each other the whole time it's like a it's like it's like a tug of war but the opposite direction well another thing that makes me think is is why why why would anybody complain about small wieners when you're not even inserting at all yeah I mean you know what I mean we all know it's like when those pornos end they just stop filming right so I guess the real question is here there's no there's no money does scissoring actually do anything for you yeah I'm sure you could rub your [ __ ] snoozers against each other and finish at some point the lima beans yeah yeah I think if you rub anything long enough you can finish yeah that's true you know think about it you rub your wieners I am trying to think about it nothing about other things that need to be rubbed I just thinking I think women are I think the biggest problem between men and women today and the reason there's so many problems is we can like e-jack and they can't well yeah I think yeah but but if you think you you talk to women and they say like oh I really have trouble uh climaxing during during sex and I'm like are you serious dude like you can literally like walk past the edge of your couch and get stimulated can you do me a favor can you look up what the average amount of time it takes for a woman to eat Jack yeah or not eject but you know climax it's also is that the word yeah no ejects I think there's female ejac there's squirt but that's just P I don't think that's anything else I thought that was all just like digitally enhanced [ __ ] no that's all Pete oh you didn't think it was real no I heard it I spoke to a porn star once and they said that they actually shoot water up their venous oh to make it look uh what a waste of water yeah we talked about this last time because we have friends that have been in the industry that have been or are in the industry so I didn't know I didn't know that was I didn't know that that was I mean that makes sense if you just shoot water up your snoogle well because you want it to look like if it's if it there's different themes right there will be some titles that'll be like uh girl go straight to water park [ __ ] gets crazy well whatever you know what I mean and then it's just straight up squirting all the time and you're like they didn't do that in the last video they were in though so then they're you're right they probably just like kind of like it's like a super soaker maybe you just have to like load up with it well porn stars are just they're stunt performers yeah they're professional they're they're professional [ __ ] they're no but they're endurance athletes like they feel they'll film like four scenes a day that's wild in a day yeah getting thrashed damn thrashing each other that's intense sounds awesome yeah 13.46 minutes 13.46 minutes that's the average time for a woman to finish yeah and then there are women that are like 13.46 kind of makes you feel better to be honest and then there were probably women that are like 13.46 years I've been with people who it's way faster than 13 years yes yes but also 13 minutes makes me feel like a champ now because then when I'm in my head I'm like what like what I'm doing I'm like what's wrong with this person I know what they just received yeah I don't know why I don't know why they fake them too that doesn't make any sense if I feel bad or they really love the person or they just they're like damn this guy sucks yeah but if I was a chick I'd just be like yo this is what we're gonna do like you're gonna do this and do that I'm I'm leaving here with a nut for sure right my friend told me that she can't get there with just a a [ __ ] uh a penis Rod getting in there over and over she needs to have she needs to have to pleasure yeah or she needs a toy to be helped but the person that she's with like loves bring he loves bringing them in for her so they have that understanding I don't think there's anything wrong with that no they're happy to get there she's happy with them so and she she was just like I just can't get there she's like dude I can barely get myself there sometimes I'm like whoa I think you need like their cognitive yeah she's mentally blocked yeah she might be yeah it might be something going on I I've orgasmed twice just during this conversation did you really yeah if anybody needs to orgasm was that hot was that hat on honor before yeah was it on before last year I was gonna bring this on to cover yeah it's my paper boy yeah [ __ ] peaky blinders hat on yeah everybody just talked [ __ ] about my hair yeah Puerto Rican blinders when did you start wearing hats like that Puerto Rico reviews when you put literally put that hat on you're like this is good for me I first of all I consider myself to be a very versatile like yeah I get I get away with it I started wearing hats like this probably like in my mid-20s really yeah it's a long time and I and people have been giving me [ __ ] about it since then I'm [ __ ] over it yeah but I like the you keep wearing I've seen you wear the the camera right is that is that what they're called no this is a paper boy or snap brim okay I call them oh kangles are like Tangles yeah kangels are similar similar kind of [ __ ] design though yeah I can't look at that hat like seriously now I don't know why this is what he brought it up like if I just saw it the other way I wouldn't have thought it was funny I just can't can't stop looking at it oh I just didn't know you I just didn't know yet at all it just goes to shop along Danny just ignores me I'm around just neglects me no it's just that it's you're so welcome back to the show by the way uh welcome podcast um happy Fourth of July happy Fourth of July uh we're in a new studio now I hope everybody's is uh okay with everything but I don't care if you're not at this point because I feel like uh I've been trying to be like too many other people I think we just have to do what makes us happy now yeah I love doing I just love being I love being us with like uncut because we are uncut we are uncut Jared's not uncut no he's not on the tip Jared snipped yeah I found out what the tool the name of the tool is for snipping penises it's called a Mogan clamp yeah Mogan clown so I said for people that are snip now I'm just gonna call them Logan Freeman from now on every time I see somebody that I know is the doctor and we're uncut gems yeah we're just not customized yeah we're not you know what I mean we're nature we're nature snakes we're like old school Saab convertibles yeah that you had to like pull down yourself yeah which I heard that snipping started back then it was from Adam proves everything wrong whatever that [ __ ] I forgot I butchered that title of that show but he uh he said that it started off as a religious thing because they thought it was like they thought uh they thought it was for masturbation or something like that they said that people people that had not snipped were masturbating more or something like it was Kellogg's was involved in it oh really serial thing yeah something like that it was to go towards masturbation's evil so they started snipping little babies penises well they were wrong right away well what kind of baby what kind of baby jerks off I've never seen a baby jerk off well they're like preventing them from getting there I think you know you know how humans are when they especially white humans from back in the day everything's like the devil yeah the devil told me this unless the devil's house and you two were kind of like babies you can't you two were constantly flicking your [ __ ] little peepees around when you were younger yeah you might not have known what you were doing but you knew that it was right I did it before I got here can you look up when the first uh circumcision was ever recorded what year do you think the first circumstances people record them yeah I'm sure there was like the first circumcision was a thing that's true yeah well yeah or when it but I would say like ballpark do people go in there with cameras and they're like yeah let's get this like you think we've been circumcising Dongs for check this 500 years what year Egyptians and those of Jewish faith with the earliest records depicting circumcision on Egyptian temple and wall paintings dating from around 2300 BC right wow so you could do so been cutting dick before geez think about how bad they were doing it back then that's what I mean so they were doing them back then and then later it became more of a popular thing so for uh for you know I guess just like people of religion based stuff but that's crazy what about adult circumcisions you've heard about that yeah that's the thing yeah yeah I was going to do Danny was gonna do it yeah I was going to I was going to get Zurich for a certain amount of uh patrons is that considered cosmetic surgery and not covered by yeah that's cosmetic surgery right it's like getting lips done yeah yeah you just want a better looking [ __ ] getting your tips done I don't think I think any time I've ever sent a picture of my penis that I always pull my skin back I would hope so then they're gonna be like oh you're at the zoo I love anteaters yeah no it's just you should just do it with your penis and make like a muppet voice and just be like oh I heard you wanted a chickpeck so here I am you ever look you ever you ever take your pee hole and act like it was a mouth yes all the time everybody's done that and then there's there's something called ballooning where you let water go inside of it and it gets like bigger and bigger because your skin expands what yeah it's called ballooning that's all speaking of water ballooning so I have um you ever heard of that stuff can you look up ballooning I was looking up adult circumcision and I was going to try to see if we could get you there was like a record that while you're doing it there was a Sex in the City episode um that a guy like uh I think Charlotte's like boyfriend on the show gets circumcised for her does he yeah she didn't like uncircumcised donsky I don't know if you have to go to sleep for that procedure I don't think you do they probably it's probably general anesthesia look that up Jared he was saying local local or general okay I was just talking genital anesthesia yeah I would I would I think I would do more I think I would do more cosmetic surgery in my balls didn't look bad no I just I just know the older I get that my testicles are going to descend more and get like all stretchy yeah that's true you know what I mean it's like my balls are already growing longer yeah you know I'd rather I'd rather have like ball Botox Botox ball talks they just like come out looking like a like a bull like a like a pool ball or something yeah because every time I have to shave my nuts I'll put an ice cube on my testicle so I get like Rhino Titus I feel like wouldn't that creep like people out though like the same way people were like kind of afraid of Michael Jackson's face like really nice nuts yeah like one thing like that's a too nice like how like veneers are a little bit too [ __ ] cartoony yeah I think I could look past it though I just feel like having really good balls is like a like kind of cool it's for you it's not for anybody it's for me it's for me it's for me right I've learned that for me from from like people who just start doing things you're just like what are you like who are you trying to prove to or whatever they're like I did this for me man it's always that's a if that's the thing that you're doing for yourself you just want smooth balls like I wonder what they do though like do they just like like take a little bit out and then like tie them up tighter yeah they probably I don't know how do you get rid of [ __ ] hey get rid of scrotum yeah yeah it's just like a scrotum tummy tuck look that up look that up look that look up look up if there's testicular Botox if that's real all right hold on because you had me on ballooning so I was checking oh yeah ballooning yeah I need to know about ballooning all right ballooning foreskin now Mike what did you hear that it was something that people do to like get off or put water inside your uh your foreskin and then you just let it like blow up oh [ __ ] oh not blow like you don't explode your penis I've never done this I don't know I've never done it either oh they got pictures here of ballooning yeah I think it's called like water balloon it might be something else it says uh ballooning is a normal and harmless occurrence for many kids with intact penises which I assume an intact penis means you still got the sleeve right right yeah we're still in touch with our ourselves I'm not in contact I'm not intact with my with my penis I'm looking for it yeah you're out there your foreskin's in like a book somewhere yeah yeah it's like pressed like an old dead rose didn't mom take your did a mom take your foreskin home yeah she ate it [Music] this wasn't my mom at the time so I wasn't born yet your mom took your foreskin home and I think put it in a book yeah she did I wonder where it's at it probably smells terrible at Birth the foreskin is fused to the gland's head which is not glands without the D of course all right of the penis by delicate oh this word's gonna get me uh epithelial epithelial membrane right this shared layer dissolves naturally over time to do uh due to hormonal changes and natural exploration eventually the child will be able to re retract the foreskin completely once the membrane has fully dissolved hell yeah yeah so I guess they put water into it to make it like get some space in there it's like a medical person it's a beneficial thing yeah they got pictures of it check it out it's like gel King whoa It's whoa what the hell dude that kid's [ __ ] is huge huge yo it goes from like uh it goes I like how he's peeing in three different things yeah yeah it looks like a shower yeah he has a shower head it goes from like a penis to like a Raptor's head yeah I don't like it I'm glad I don't have to do it or anything I didn't know that okay so then that's like a real it's a procedure it's like a beneficial thing yeah and then some weirdo probably is just like yo let's just blow water into our dicks yeah well I heard it from my friend uh my friend wetty so I don't know maybe your friend wetty talked about his wet penis penis maybe he [ __ ] made it up and then that's what he was taught but that I can't believe that's an actual [ __ ] thing right there oh man that's [ __ ] crazy yeah is it like gel King no is stretching the skin to get uh to get you stretch the canals or like the the the tissue of your dick so that it can actually take on more blood that's a proven thing though to like actually work there are a lot of Trials he does yeah you have to do whatever day and it's like different massages and stretches you do all right so you've definitely done it because it sounds like I mean [ __ ] if you saw me without shorts you wouldn't think I did have you ever gel like seriously like took gel King on as a hobby no I'm too impatient just turned into me beating off I was just like I'm not gonna I'd rather just do this yeah I'm just knocking I'm not gonna stretch it out like pizza dough I'd rather just go for it yeah because you could joke for girth or length there's like different like yeah you just take like a [ __ ] Pizza yeah yeah it's like that's kind of what you're doing put it on the counter just do it that's kind of what you're doing um um we were talking about ball Botox yeah testicular Botox Is that real it has to it has to there's so many things that we don't know about that they're like little intricate surgeries that you can do that'd be so cool if I could just tighten my people do [ __ ] for I think people do stuff for their earlobes as well yeah that makes more sense yeah you know stuff you know things like that if they don't like how their ears look and shave to their head but I'm I think it's like I don't care I haven't looked in my ears long enough ever in my life for more than two seconds I have like I have like two years I have two long hairs that grow in my ear like every week I have to rip them out sucks oh it's like a reoccurring it's a reoccurring hair yeah every time it comes back it's longer yeah I get one of those in right and we're getting older so now there's [ __ ] longer strands coming what does it say it's called scrotox oh my God screw talks which makes complete sense so how all right so what does scrotum is the sack of skin obviously that holds your testicles in place grotox was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain if surgery didn't resolve the issue geez nuts what the [ __ ] yeah so if you had some type of mishap with your bean bag and you and the doctors couldn't figure it out they'd give you scrotox it's a thing all right so they just give you shots into your scrotum how much does that cost look that look that oh it's like you're gonna walk around but that's the thing you're going to walk around looking young looking old and your balls are going to look like they're [ __ ] like 15. that sounds cool to me I don't know you know what I mean like having cool balls like if I'm 80 years old I'm like my body sucks but check out these balls yeah I have my [ __ ] nuts out all the time to be like dude that dude is 30 year old nuts yeah but they're gonna come out like a what's the brown ball in pool is it 13 burgundy yeah it's gonna look like that yeah it would it would look like an old like the three solids or whatever like the Sun hits it and like shines off of it yeah men are spending a thousand dollars on scrotax oh dude I can get scrotalks whenever I want that's a good price yeah yeah see if they do like a two for one deal so I wonder what the guys had to be dealing with like this [ __ ] huge planet-sized [ __ ] nuts I feel like that would be the only uh acceptable time to uh to have like a public picture of your sack I agree that would be the only time for you to actually be like yo guys I got this like everyone's gonna be like those don't even look like balls anymore you know what I mean because they're so different looking everyone would be like yo what the [ __ ] those are those are amazing I just have the coolest balls on the Block yeah like even like even if a kid saw it I feel like everyone would just be like everyone would just be like yo that's the coolest thing I've ever seen it's a shiny bag yeah it says the most common reason uh we have guys asking for scrotox is that their scrotum is tightly contracted squeezing up their testicles and it's painful what yeah that's [ __ ] intense that is intense yeah wait say that again uh says that the the the the scrotum is contracted right which means it's tightened up and it's it might it's probably squeezing the [ __ ] balls and in order to make it look [ __ ] young and vibrant they get in there and give you little scrotox and it and it loosens it up but I thought I thought Botox tightens you up that's yeah that's why that doesn't make sense I want I have I have loose balls I want tight nuts Jared I want tight ones yeah is that the right thing okay our scrotox guinea pig a gentleman named Sean a single heterosexual uh 30-something from the suburbs of Perth who heroically agreed to put his scrotum on the line in the name of Journalism [ __ ] Sean had a chat with oats which I guess is this company that's doing prior to procedure to discuss his concerns but after Oates walked him through the procedure he said he felt at ease he felt like he was going to go well um it's a very safe medication and has been around for a long time scrotox injections aren't made into the testicle itself but into the skin and it's absorbed into the nerves right where the injection is done relaxing the muscle in the local area wow so your nuts just suck up all the medicine from another part of your body it's kind of fire yeah and everything just heads to your scrote that's kind of crazy yeah it gives you a little space you ever you ever see porn sometimes and you see guys like [ __ ] a girl or whatever and it looks like they only have one testicle yeah it hides yeah and then the other gets like lower it's never happening no that happens to me yeah you never had the hidden ball trick no I've never I've I mean I've Never filmed from that angle no but you never reached down and be like yo one of my balls is up like on the side oh yeah that's yeah playing like sports that's happened to me a couple times like my I felt like my testicle disappeared into my body and I had to like do the like the jump stop to come out yeah like the Donkey Kong yeah pull it out that's happened to me but I've never been like I've never had sex and and been like yo my testicle's gone like I would [ __ ] FL I would cry if that happened during sex yeah I think that happens I don't it doesn't happen to me a lot but it's definitely happened to me that's why whenever I see it I'm like you'll be watching and I'm like oh that guy's having that thing happen yeah I I I I've had it where it was like up here and I literally had to be like I'll squeeze it back down in my screen what are you gonna what are we gonna say no you're gonna say I I am I like not having sex all right I've never had a disappearance no does it hurt it wrong no but it feels weird it's almost like you like like lose your breath oh damn that's kind of crazy it's like my heart palps my dog when you're beat like a Skip it's like it's like something happened but you don't it doesn't hurt though my dog's missing him is one of his balls is growing inside of his abdomen what yeah he's got one on the outside one on the inside he's got a [ __ ] nut gut yeah and he's got he's got the Hammer by the way wait obnoxiously big wiener yeah he's got a big black penis dude it said that guy was from Perth yeah that's in Australia isn't it is it yeah that guy did a Down Under on his in the down man yeah yeah a [ __ ] peekaboo nuts dude every time I see that in porn I'm like I really want to watch these people have sex but where is this guy's ball dude I'm looking for it now like clip like clip I'm like the [ __ ] JFK subruder film like you're breaking it down like frame by frame back into the left like a human that almost looks neutered yeah I'm like yo like I thought like maybe this guy like got shot in his testicle or something and he's just in porn now but then there are the dudes who keep the [ __ ] hangers that don't go anywhere how do they do that slapping yeah yeah I I like I like the one ball more than I like the hangy danglies yeah well hangley dangly balls are gross to look at yeah they're weird they definitely are they're Clowny and why is there always that shot where they have to I think it's that was like more like retro porn I guess but it was a shot of from behind of the guy's ass and you can't even see the dick going into the vagina it's just his balls just smashing up against her [ __ ] oh yeah yes some angles are so like that's so gross too much it's disgusting why were you having a close about a man's [ __ ] yeah I agree I think but I think a guy's butthole ruins it for sure yeah well that's like uh when we were talking about the other time uh like I have a friend that only watches lesbian porn I was like dude that's gay you know like dude like I need a dong in there just this like because a part of it you're imagining what's that's your penis I mean I like I was saying like we said because we were saying this last time that's we were talking about like I don't I don't mind it but I definitely was because I love this conversation though because I always well it comes back scissors do you need a dong in there yeah but which by the way men can scissor but it's just called butt scissoring is it yeah it's not as effective I'll tell you right now who needs scrotaxes guys that scissor each other yeah because you're tightening up that that [ __ ] bean bag yeah and banging and banging into other bean bags it's a little worrisome if they're just rubbing their [ __ ] shitty [ __ ] against each other though so you got to do I guess you gotta down on this you got to do when you when you love the the same sex you gotta you gotta think of something you gotta get creative I mean you gotta you got to get off you got to get off dude you gotta think of others no way not me no way not you not me you wouldn't rub your own butthole up against like a partner if they wanted you to do it no I mean I mean I'd figure out something else to do with my butthole I just can't figure out how that would work like what if what if somebody wanted to lick your butthole you wouldn't do that yeah why not what about finger your butthole yeah I might not get that far what about like just little this no touch it kiss it fine yeah I'm quoted I mean it's a dangerous move for a girl to get back there you think like the bro like depending on what I was eating that day you might not want to get back there so you just be more afraid of poop or you just wouldn't like sensei-ish yeah well well yeah well I just want to make sure it's a clean place to hang out like I don't exactly manscape you know what I mean like you don't want doodoo chips but yeah I just don't want her to be like listen I went out on a limb for you and [ __ ] tried something new and now I'm [ __ ] now I got E coli you know what I mean like douche I would feel bad do you shower before sex every time I do that's what I'm saying no I don't it depends though because if I like I said if if I know that I'm smelling bad I'm not gonna [ __ ] just I'm not I don't want to ruin her day there are things that I'll do and won't do when I know she's been out you know doing a nine to five yeah when it's when you've been doing when you've been having a whole day just [ __ ] just working that grunt oh yeah all that stuff then I'll be like okay let's just keep it Mish and do whatever Mish is good Mish is good for sweaty people if you do Miss you're fine yeah like if you're just doing right because I'm but if it's after a shower I'll [ __ ] shove my whole face into a day oh yeah that's different yeah no absolutely that's different that's because because I know everything's going I've I've said this before all time like I was thinking about it and I used to hate but it's but it's like you know do your thing I'm not gonna King shave if you're into eating bud and doing all that that's fine but Donuts I love that he closed his eyes while he said that yeah I'm not King shaving because it's like be happy about what you're doing but also I'll never forget listening to HOT97 I'm at McDonald's drive-through and this guy calls in he's like yo what's up y'all they're like what up what up what up what's up he's like yeah so you know I know people say they don't like eating butt but I love that smell man it was like it was like every time Hot 97 was on and they were like yo and he was like everybody can say what they want but like even if it's just got a little bit of doo-doo I don't care he's like that's wild smell no the smell actually he goes and he just goes the smell does sound foamy man they're like all right bro you want a song yeah you're gonna spit something yeah you're gonna tell us a song but that's [ __ ] everyone has so everyone has their own thing is my point but it's just for me you need to [ __ ] shove a fire hose up your ass and then do all that for before I go anywhere near it with my nose or my [ __ ] tongue or any of that stuff I got a colonic once I'll just go I've never I I'm do I'm actually do in your 40s guys are supposed to get their uh oh no no that's yeah yeah I'm due for some butt for some but I got a colonic though which is where they go into your large intestine and they go through they shoot water up your butthole yeah and it cleans out your intestine and then they show you on a camera of all the [ __ ] dookie that you have in your body yeah they can clean you out yeah so I could literally see these big fat pieces of dookie oh going through coming out you were watching it while it was happening yeah yeah they have a thing there that shows you they have a camera that shows your [ __ ] your poop coming out so there were no other options like they had ESPN and you said no I don't want to watch ESPN I want to watch poop gets sucked out of my butthole no you can't watch you can watch other things if you want but I'd be like dude I want to see some yeah put on some [ __ ] friends or some [ __ ] no you're getting filled with saline you want to see the kindness so what's the difference between that and a colonoscopy colonoscopy is when they put a camera up your [ __ ] to like make sure you don't have like booty cancer Oh I thought they have to go in there and and they and they extract like well they can do a whole bunch of mess that you have in there yeah well I mean I just I just I got one two years ago now and you have to prep for it so you can't eat anything the day before but you can have like like popsicles uh you can't have did you put them in your butt the Popsicles or eat them regularly you can't eat them regularly but you can't have you can't have uh certain dyes like it has to be because if it does anything to [ __ ] up their camera images yeah so you can't have certain colored foods like stuff like that uh so what I what we did was I had to drink chicken broth with no meat like like meatless chicken broth uh popsicles and just water all day then you eat La then you take laxatives and I'm telling you right now bro I was I've never seen I was peeing from my ass oh yeah yeah and it was just straight clear liquid at the end of it because that's the point yeah and the guy that I had I was like I told my friend because he got one and I was like I did like I had to do two enemies afterwards he goes you had to do enemas after and he's like was your doctor just like horny or something he's like I didn't have to do any of that send me selfies but they go in they put a they they uh knock you out it was my first time ever getting knocked out I told the story to Danny when when we were doing he goes all right you're gonna pass out now and I go oh for real that was the last thing I've ever seen I woke up and I was like where the [ __ ] am I and yeah you were you were yeah and then we we went there we got I got it done and then they removed any sort of polyps because polyps can either be benign or cancerous they burned them on the way out right so that's why they say you should go at least three times crazy some guy just filming a movie in your butthole I would have known nothing I wouldn't have known the difference my butthole is fine so colonoscopy is a procedure a doctor uses to look at the inside of the colon and rectum with the colonoscope which is a long flexible tube about the width of a finger damn it's not even like a little skinny one where the light and small video camera at the end of it it puts through the anus into the rectum and colons oh so they're just in there checking for stuff yeah colonoscopy and they'll take biopsies and stuff like that too like tissue yeah I would just have you guys trained to do it and do it for me let me I wouldn't trust me putting anything in your house you know I want you to be certified and like prove that you were legit and I just have you do it before we go any further speaking of food popsicles and chicken broth that sounds terrible you know it doesn't sound terrible hellofresh uh hellofresh get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes live right to your doorstep skip trips to the grocery store and count on hellofresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable that's why it's America's number one meal kit and guess what it's summertime so take a bite out of Summer with hellofresh from Chef created seasonal recipes to their new fresh and fit summer menu hellofresh brings flavor right to your door pre-portioned ingredients help cut down on food waste while step-by-step Instructions make you a cooking magic which is short for magician and make cooking a total Breeze and not a chore that's why I hate to cook because it's too much and then it's clean up and I don't know what to do and I use too much stuff and it's a [ __ ] mess and I hate it hello fresh gets uh what you want options whenever you need them when it comes time you could switch from any kind of diet paleo keto high carb low carb they got desserts and [ __ ] hellofresh is also 25 cheaper than takeout so if you do the math that's a lot of money I didn't do well in school but you could do it and they also have fast and quick meals that are about 15 minutes to get them done from the catch on to the plate I love that and again that's why it's America's number one meal kit but you guys are like all right cool what are you talking about what's what's going on uh is there something you could do for us yeah guess what go to hellofresh.com50 use code lost 50 for 50 off plus free shipping that's 50 off if I knocked on your door and said hey you want to say 50 on all the food you're gonna buy this month you would say yes I would of course you would yep thank you guys I needed that I needed that Assurance but yeah go to hellofresh.com50 and use code Lots 50 for 50 off plus free shipping and say goodbye to bad food and hello to Fresh Food America's number one meal kid you nailed that love that um it's totally fresh awesome it's either that one or that one so what were you telling me before we got on here about Elon Musk and Twitter I didn't understand what's going on this [ __ ] guy first off I like his face is so weird it is weird [ __ ] hate it he's got a screw talks face yeah yeah it is it is all right so Elon Musk passed this new thing and you know what he's he's been he keeps doing this too he keeps changing it because PC's people get pissed he's just like he has no idea what he's doing but uh he basically made it so that unverified accounts can only see 600 messages a day and then it goes you've reached the limit and you can't use Twitter anymore and now people were complaining so now he made it like 800 then he goes if this doesn't work I'll change it to it uh he went to 8 000 he goes if this doesn't work I'll change it to 10K messages or tweets that you can see I guess that's what it is but my thing is is how am I are you reading are we reading that I guess we are right we're reading that many messages yeah I mean I honestly get most of my news from like credible Twitter accounts right yeah so there would be sports or like New York Times and [ __ ] like that that's where I get most of my news Well everybody's everybody is [ __ ] pissed about it and it's definitely not I mean I don't know why he's sabotaging what was his reason behind it why did he say he was doing it um I mean his real reason is because he wants people to [ __ ] pay for it but yeah you could look up what he used he probably said something to to you know to uh like cover that up or make it sound uh you know beat around the bush yeah it says Elon Musk composes daily limits on reading posts on Twitter right right um right it says Elon Musk is limited the number of tweets that users can view each day restrictions he described as an attempt to prevent unauthorized scraping of potentially valuable data on the social media platform that's because people were making fake accounts and and doing [ __ ] like that but it's also to make money because you pay for fair fight accounts well it's saying this I don't have one I used to have one on Twitter it's gone yeah yeah it says the site is now requiring people to log on to view tweets and profiles a change in its long time practice to allow everyone to pursue the chatter on what musk has frequently touted as the world's digital Town Square since buying it for 44 billion dollars so it doesn't so it doesn't matter anymore to be verified it's basically like verifying yourself on [ __ ] Tinder now yeah everyone's gonna have that badge it's just to prove that you're a human basically people can do it on Instagram now too yeah you can do it on Instagram you could do meta verify but I don't know what the pay service gets you I personally think you and me should laugh at it more than anybody else because it's like we there's so many people that we know that are verified that just should not be [ __ ] verified oh dude when I got verified I had to go through my agency to get verified right so if I if I didn't have an agent I'd still be on I I wouldn't have a check yeah it would have been unverified and it's like we for the longest time like we have friends that they're just like if they are we should be as well like and me and Danny have always Danny more so for like a bit he would always just like day like it's like 3984 still not verified for some reason I don't know why at some point it was extremely important to me well there's fake there's fake accounts for you and like we don't have it as much as everybody else but there's fake I have fake Instagram accounts yeah oh [ __ ] I was a couple there's a couple I had like five Instagram accounts that were my name I know one of them if you do Michael La priori it's like it's the P it's a picture of me in the in our kitchen when we used to live in in Hastings on on that you know that's right but uh [ __ ] it so I don't talk to myself but um and I was like I didn't make this because my friend was like yo I'm blocked on like your name and I was like what no you're not show me and they showed me that I was like who the [ __ ] made this account yo did you know that someone made I'm sorry no no did you know that like you can restrict people from seeing like your stories like certain people can only see like certain parts of your story he's not close friends yeah but like you could restrict people so they think they're still really your friend right but they're not really your friends that sounds useful to be honest I found one IG page Mike that says Mikey uh underscore lo12208 Is It Michael or priori I am not gay that's what it says is that what it says I swear to God and it's like some kid playing the cross I mean he's lying oh yeah any shout out on here no there's there's the one there's the one uh someone made a fake account for Dad and it was like it was like Uncle Tim uh a grandpa to some but like Papa to most of you like it did exactly what dad's bio says and he was following it was so weird mom follows your your fake account and it's still got a thousand followers does it really yeah I'm like followed by is that the one where I'm like this where I think I'm cool yeah yeah yeah yeah that's exactly right that's exactly right yeah but I gotta tell Mom to unfollow that I didn't know that like you could actually do that to people I just learned that that you so somebody who thinks they're your really good friend will actually look like uh you're still actually friends but they're hiding things from you yeah that's a little weird it's weird unless you're and like honest I think that it should be like if you have somebody who's in your family let's say whose heart you just don't want to break but they're just looking at everything they that you do and judging it and you don't want to like unfollow all them to deal with that you could just do something like that's how I'm thinking of it or and then they would be like how come I don't see you post anymore you'll be like that's not it I'm just not into it anymore I blocked mom on Instagram once did you yeah well what what led to that she just like she was like commenting like weird [ __ ] like uh I would post like a song about titties and Mom would be like yeah she'd be like you suck my titties first and I was like okay I was like it's true though I know but I was just being it was like almost every post and I was like Mom could please don't comment on my post it'd be funny if it'd be funny if like you played like a guitar or something she's like this guy [ __ ] sucks and then Dad will like uh comment on them too like we did like way too horny and dad was like yeah horny's what got you guys here yeah yeah he will and he spelled it h a w yeah Mom liked it Mom liked the comment I was like we did get a [ __ ] room yeah I called the [ __ ] out of here I was streaming once and we were doing we were raising money for Grandma and Grandpa when the hurricane happened in Puerto Rico and Mom called in to thank everyone and we were all we were just talking and she's like thank you so much like everyone and we're talking and you know it got like I got how we are we'll say weird [ __ ] to them because we know they're cool with it and uh I was like I said something about them like I don't know making out or something like that I don't know something and uh mom goes yeah we still bone every day and I just like was like ah I like hung up the phone and I was like we're doing charity for [ __ ] grandma and grand mom yeah mom is like uh mom's mom's got like a really really loose mouth compared to like all like so there's something she'll say that I won't say yeah she I remember one time she was talking to me like about relationships one time she was like you know like when you're with your partner and it's like you know like you know maybe they're not like sucking your penis all the time like like they used to and I was like oh Mom like yo chill you're right but like why are you saying that right yeah so she would just be like you know like you can't be mad at somebody like if they don't want to like suck your wiener every day and I was like Mom she was just like yeah she's just projecting like her dad got into an argument earlier that day about it they were just driving up the street he's just like you know what you don't go down on me the way you used to now she's just projecting on you she's like yeah so I have a friend right who's like husband basically said to her that she doesn't give him enough for leash and you're like Mom do you mean you by this friend I don't want to hear this [ __ ] yeah she gets she doesn't care she was I think the funniest thing though it wasn't even meant to be just like just you know um I'm loosey-goosey and silly it was it was when I was at that like child rehab when I went to Arms Acres yeah yeah and uh when I was like 16 or something I can rehab my little life I punched my mom I went to go punch Danny in the face and I hit my mom by accident I found out about that yeah and to keep dad from destroying my body uh and killing me I said I'll I didn't do like I need to be sent somewhere which I didn't want to do I think it was just a smart move yeah it wouldn't kill me Mike Mike is Mike has punched our mom in the face yeah it was totally and lived to talk yeah yeah and I remember when I told my dad they were like we think you should too and we got sent away and they did a mom they did a parent you know uh Sun like intervention let them get to know each other kind of thing and blah blah so to make you feel more comfortable with your parents so the kids had to go up first and put all the drugs they'd ever done and there were different there was like a you know like a [ __ ] board [ __ ] the where you just put the what the hell are those called like a smart uh a dry erase board yeah a dry erase board yeah whatever the [ __ ] it was it was that or a chalkboard I don't know it doesn't matter there was a split side for parents and kids and I didn't know anything about mom or dad at the time I had certainly knew Dad wasn't going to put anything up there I think he put that like he smoked a little bit of like and he hated he got like scared and anxious from smoking weed yeah so he put that up there and whatever so then they were like all right like go ahead like Diane mom goes up and chalks off like [ __ ] LSD [ __ ] weed so I ran out of anything like like access like all sorts of [ __ ] and I was like what the [ __ ] yeah she like ran out of like she's like I need more child she was like doing all this stuff and I'm just like and I'm not gonna lie to you it [ __ ] worked it made me feel you know I was like ah dad's a puss no I didn't say that but I was like I was looking at it like because my relationship with Dad was never to the like dad's so easy to talk to yeah and I never knew much about mom because Mom just like goes in a place when she talks to you and you're like are you here with us you know she transcends she like goes into another yeah and to see Mom finally do that it worked like I felt so much closer to my because I didn't know that she had experimented with stuff like that too and I I felt like such like I don't know like I was doing too much and everyone hated me because I was like not afraid to do all these wild things or whatever like I knew your life was we could meet somewhere there just smoking and drinking and all that but to see Mom just go up like staring at everybody and then just chalk it off I was like holy [ __ ] like this she's like the most drugged out mom there no there was there was another mom there who I was like oh yeah she's that woman who looks sick I remember Mom came to me one time she was like you know like I've done cocaine before I Like Cocaine especially Brown cocaine and I was like Mom I was like Mom that's heroin yeah that's uh that's like what are you talking about that's wrong yeah yeah she was like I love it and she I was like I was like okay all right but I think I'm sure what do you think's the last time Mom smoked weed I would probably a very very probably with me oh really yeah when's the last time you guys smoked you guys said yeah years ago she came around the corner you know like sometimes you get white moms she's like hi I'm Diane lopiore I'm Michael and Danny and Jared's mom yeah and then sometimes she comes around the corner she's like What's Up [ __ ] let me get five dollars whenever she would get mad she would go you [ __ ] you should be on the yeah I'd walk into the house she'd be on the phone she's like oh yes thank you for letting me know he's here now yeah sure and she'd like hang up the phone she's like oh [ __ ] kill you [ __ ] but no I think I was smoking in Jersey and she came over and she's like man what are you smoking on man I was just like it was like perfect like crackhead like interaction let me get a hit man yo man I'll give you I'll let you breastfeed man I was just like and I let her hit and she was like what the [ __ ] is this because it was so much stronger like they smoke dirt you know what I mean basically when they were younger oh they weren't ready for like some purple haze and [ __ ] Dro no it was very difficult she was like what in the [ __ ] is this it was like it was like I like that brown cocaine how do you feel that's heroin how do you feel about parents that do drugs with their kids what do you mean like like it like even like when they're adults smoking weeds you can't like smoking weed or you mean like full-on putting a needle in their [ __ ] no no like you're like smoking weed or like you know maybe maybe even a bump when I was young imagine giving dad a bump at a party yo dad you just like all right that's good mad high it's so much fun yeah you're like gotta get a [ __ ] stool I'm not hungry but I want to cook you guys something let's [ __ ] keep bumping big dance you think he talks now yeah oh God yeah that would be kind of funny just to be like yeah but up Dad take a bump I think if I was to do any drug with Dad it would be something like LSD or shrooms because he would just be gig watching dad laugh is one of my favorite things when he takes his glasses off and he just starts holding his nose yeah he starts rubbing his eyes he's [ __ ] He's also so smart so I feel like he would say something some crazy [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] that would just be like you'd be like whoa what the [ __ ] yeah because you go to him for advice now when he's sober you know yeah no you're right about that I think anything outside of weed being being a father of a of of two kids that are both old enough to you know get into some trouble um smoking weed with him I wouldn't I wouldn't frown upon you know what I mean I don't think I even before they legalized it in New York I think any other drug though I would I wouldn't feel comfortable with yeah I wouldn't care when we were in high school my friends my dad smoked weed and I thought it was the [ __ ] coolest thing but I was in high school it always weirded me out I've had friends who have smoked weed with their parents and I'm just like this is kind of weird yeah to us it is but they probably [ __ ] to me I was like how the [ __ ] are you guys not like how is it how are you not there's this stigma I think where when you smoke with your parent you're like something of a lot of me is about to come out of my mouth and they're gonna [ __ ] hear it and think and think I'm [ __ ] weird or I'm gonna hear some [ __ ] from them but his parents were so there was like an understanding and who knows his parents were such weed heads that it was like having the sex talk for the first time they were like okay just one little just one little one and then like they took like a little hit and it was like you know how do you feel at a good age probably like or he just smoked first and he was like I know my parents do so I just asked if they wanted to right I just feel like if Dad were to do like any kind of drug like the dad did like LSD would be like nothing like Saturn never come back he's too old now to start doing drugs I feel like Dad would benefit from like a like a weed gummy everyone no micro dosing I think anybody at that age like once your brain starts to act differently because you're getting older and I'm not saying it's just Dad I'm just saying people like in their age I think micro dosing is is probably the healthiest thing to do micro dosing what psilocybin yeah because that [ __ ] is like proven to help with all types of things like Alzheimer's brain Alzheimer's um dementia um autism things like that like micro dosing I micro dosed recently and I and I felt like I was the smartest person in the universe yeah because I was in all weird like it wasn't it wasn't a weird trip you know what I mean I was just like I can literally [ __ ] do calculus yeah when was the last time you did shrooms probably like six months ago seven months ago no not even uh maybe four or five months ago I think I'm legalizing some of it my recent trivia has all been alone I used to only do it in groups now I just trip out alone it's already legal in Washington in uh or in Portland I should say it's like you have to I think it's a certain amount but it's it's mostly to be like Medici in order to get it past any Court it has to be medicinal yeah have you done shrooms yeah twice yeah yeah did you enjoy it yeah I was riding a bike once on [ __ ] mushrooms like I could I could see the wind like I get like the wind like would you do them now um probably not uh probably not I just feel like I got some right now I feel like uh maybe like in my 50s or 60s like I'll have to have that third eye open but yeah but I feel like my third eye has been open for a little bit good for you so if I get back to a point where I feel like it's not open maybe I'll take a [ __ ] [ __ ] stroll down shroomy Lane Bill Burr said that it made him he has a bunch of interviews where he talks about when he started when he like well he took a lot or a good amount first and then probably micro doses now but he was saying it just made him look at himself and he was like and the first thing that he saw was like why the [ __ ] am I so angry yeah and it made him completely even so the thing about shrooms that's crazy too is I didn't listen to [ __ ] sublime or alternative stuff that much or anything like that uh Sky whatever the [ __ ] you want to call I didn't listen to anything like that I was such a hip-hop head and that's all I was yeah and the first song I heard from Sublime uh was probably like Santeria or something like that and at the same time I'm looking at my hands and everything's [ __ ] at one point the craziest thing was I was listening to Sublime and it was almost like colors were changing to the music but they weren't but it's like rain was just like and everything was just purple it was like a [ __ ] Beatles like [ __ ] submarine like [ __ ] [ __ ] it was like so weird and I started listening to Sublime and after that I was like I got to open my mind up to more music and I didn't need drugs anymore to know that my mind had opened up to liking music like that and that's why I'm so much more like because back then I was like this [ __ ] sucks like what the [ __ ] this old [ __ ] you're younger you're younger sorry uh but it really did change and I think for Bill Burr did the same thing he was just like why the [ __ ] am I always angry and he finally said to himself I'm gonna change this and he and he's been better about it now he's like I'm not gonna put my childhood trauma on everybody that's in my family in Chicago yeah as my kids grow up in front of me well mushrooms are a special kind of trip I think it's like it's nothing it's not like anything else and people that have never taken It'll ask me like oh what is it like I'm like dude I I can try to explain it but I really can't it's it's like a disconnection spiritually or like you said you're kind of looking down back at yourself and you you come out of it sometimes with like a completely different view of yourself and like the world and [ __ ] it's pretty enlightening you feel very if it's a good trip yeah very confident you're like I could do like you say I kind of just said yes to everything it was like yeah we're gonna like go here yeah when I would smoke weed I would get afraid like yo like I don't want to go to the center yeah yeah I got paranoid yeah like people are gonna know that like I'm high like I don't want to go to the video store or like somebody's mom will see me and [ __ ] like I remember when I when I you know like when I did shrooms I was like I'll go anywhere you guys want to go right now anywhere in the [ __ ] Earth I remember we were walking around [ __ ] like the not the Burke estate the [ __ ] Hillside Woods in a uh in Hastings I remember just being like yo this is the craziest like experience I've ever had like I remember I could like see myself from like the top of a tree yeah and like leaves were like turning all different colors and like kind of like going different like uh you know when you look at the street and the heat comes off the street and it's got that like wavy kind of like yeah yeah everything was kind of moving yeah it was great yeah I went to I was at the pond that was where you were also yeah you you were doing something else with with somebody too I don't know if you guys are doing shrooms but yeah we did I think I saw you it was my first time and it wasn't hitting me because it took like an hour and I was just like this [ __ ] sucks and my friend was just like I don't know man I'm feeling it already and it happened when I saw Dan Danny B and we were outside of the deli and I was like and I was just for so I all of a sudden I realized I was talking about my Pepsi for 30 minutes and I was just like oh [ __ ] dude and he's just like yeah you got it now and I looked into the Pepsi can and it just like it was like it it was like a Vortex it brought me in it was just the black hole and I'm just [ __ ] immediately in space just staring and like to me I'm just like all these sounds and then it's just outside of me everyone's just looking at me and I'm like and it's quiet nothing's happening and then I we went to the pond and the trees like Danny said yeah I didn't think any of that [ __ ] was real because I was like hallucinate and then the ground was just like juices I was like oh [ __ ] I'm cooking I remember walking by a car that was playing music and for some reason like uh you know like just think of like walking by a car that's playing loud music it's already muffled yeah yeah yeah but I remember for some reason like it was even like more morphed like the sounds like the sounds that I were hearing were like becoming more like everything's more yes your brain was registering sound yeah have you guys tripped out during the day or you yes I've only done it during the day yeah tripping during the day is amazing I went from day to night to Sunset yeah if you guys ever want to do the if I ever had a trip if I ever have a coming out party for drugs I'll probably do something all right let me know when that happens I'll be there like I can't do like Ayahuasca or anything like so many people are like yo like going on this Ayahuasca Retreat I'm like nah dude you like throw up what about what about ketamine drips would you guys do that I've heard really quick I've already done that I've already done ketamine yeah you have no but I mean like you did ketamine like in someone's living room I'm talking about going to see like a a medical professional that gives you a dosage that's supposed to be like extreme it's supposed to be good for anxiety and yeah and depression and [ __ ] yeah I haven't done it but I have some friends that always suggested if you tell me something's good for [ __ ] anxiety I'm immediately on board well you go like you go like meet me sleepy for a little bit like you kind of like you go into like a dream state yeah really I mean I'm I mean I'm I'm down with that as long as it's a calm one weed just makes me like nothing happens I just can't [ __ ] there's you're scared no because the weed weed shrooms um like pills like I all that stuff that I've done where I've gotten like high I in those moments I've been like okay like I don't want to be high anymore right like I've had those moments with all of those drugs so I think that's why I like schneef the most because it's like yo you're high for a little bit then it like goes away but you're still alive worse it's the worst is the worst and I just remember I was like I'm not gonna be high for 12 hours right you know what I mean and have that moment where like okay I don't want to do this yeah but you kind of are because you can't go to sleep no it's yeah I mean it really depends I can I sleep I can sleep on on Yips yeah yeah I could always kind of go to sleep on Steve oh yeah never not right when it's coursing through everything but like [ __ ] if like a little bit like I don't need any more I you know this is what I was doing it obviously I didn't need any more I could pass out on it but and I shouldn't say we doesn't do anything obviously it does that's why people smoke it but for me it was just doing nothing but making me [ __ ] paranoid and I was just like it's maybe just not my drug or my strain or whatever the [ __ ] I don't know I don't know I remember like we used to always smoke weed like Fourth of July fireworks I remember yeah I remember being super high watching that I was like this is the greatest in the world because I could just get so high and not give a [ __ ] you just would be in your in your moment and just be chilling you're like I used to smoke four four anxiety that's really or that and for uh you know any like because Tourette's had helped me with a bunches right yeah it calmed me the [ __ ] down and I would just be like speaking of Fourth of July hot dogs hot dogs or hamburger for you uh I gotta do I'm doing cheeseburgers cheeseburger hot dogs are great but they're just so who eats a Hamburg with no cheese you [ __ ] institutionalized Maniac I don't know who does that I think homeless people because they're hungry but that's bad like yeah I just want to hear free people I just want a hamburger what the [ __ ] is that yeah I'm not doing just a hamburger who does that [ __ ] you know what I hate that Burger King will do this you'd be like yo Whopper meal it's like with cheese I'm like yeah dude who's gonna have a Whopper with no [ __ ] cheese yeah oh my God wait you can actually or you can get I mean of course you ask them but you can get it without cheese Whoppers all come with about cheese if you just like yo let me get a Whopper it's not gonna have cheese on it that's so weird and you know what's weird when you go to other states and they like just so happen to start putting mustard on their cheeseburgers McDonald's did that in what is part of Jersey I was like why the [ __ ] you put mustard on my burger what is that [ __ ] I'm like yeah you put a mustard on my [ __ ] cheeseburger you [ __ ] dumb idiot hey psycho I remember I had to be like yeah don't put mustard on my cheeseburger I used to have to say that to somebody yeah in some McDonald's they would do and I was like States or States yeah they would do it because we would go for a field trip and like I'm going to like Trenton right and you go to like Trenton and you're just like what the [ __ ] why is there mustard on this it tastes like [ __ ] I threw it away I was like it's [ __ ] gross yeah it throws you off you think something's wrong with the burger at first you're like oh that's [ __ ] mustard I don't mind doing it now though I but I've been to like a fast food place and I was just like I don't remember asking for mustard on this and it just [ __ ] came out there oh you know I'll drive right right around I go what is this yeah nonsense yeah what is that and they're like what you're like this you squeeze it and the mustard comes out yeah do you put ketchup or or uh are you a cheeseburger or a hot dog diet for July Fourth I I get them both on the plate I'm a Glizzy Gladiator for sure do you put um ketchup mustard both one of one of each I just put ketchup on a burger I'll do ketchup on a burger and I'll do both for a hot dog I do both and people say I'm [ __ ] crazy for doing that a lot of people be like ill you do both I'm like yeah why not yeah that's not that's it I've never had it's like it's like frowned upon a little bit Hot Dog's a sandwich isn't it if you think about it I can't even go down that road with you right now no it's more like I don't know it's more like like a confinement because it's like it's you're taking it's still connected to me a sandwich is two separate pieces of [ __ ] bread yeah I mean you're really because a hero's not yeah but you could cut a hero all the way through and still eat it though I know but but that's not normally the way that this is also it's horizontal it is instead of instead of a side cut yeah because because you eat it sideways a hot dog's [ __ ] vertical you're eating a hot dog vertically wait but isn't a hot dog has sides yeah it has a well a bun if you cut a bun open and it has one like size on it oh I know what you mean we're talking about Dimensions we're talking about Dimensions how it enters your dimensionally how do you how it enters your mouth you know what I mean it enters vertically yeah I don't I don't see wait Heroes aren't Heroes aren't connected Heroes they are they get cut and then split open yeah like it's still connected on it I know and then [ __ ] blue what's it called when they're split a wedge then is that when it's a wedge or a baby yeah yeah but look at it like this though if a [ __ ] hot dog bun was cut in half you'd be like what is this if a hero was cut in half you would still eat it like a sandwich like like bread if you put two separate buns on a hot dog you're a piece of [ __ ] yeah dude that's what I'm saying if you break the hinge okay because it needs to be like safe in like in Nestle it's like I'm trying to do like I think like if I'm doing a hot dog all right I feel like I feel like our house was like uh growing up if we had hot dogs yeah we had hamburger buns but no no that's true we always just had one thing and if we really had to we were like yo I need this on something you would put it in the hamburger and you would have both of the little ends sticking out yeah and still eat it anyway yeah dude I don't know why if we if you wanted to make a ham and cheese sandwich there was always cheese and no ham like it's just like [ __ ] [ __ ] what's always going on in there right and unless dad there were days dad would come back with crazy amount of cold cuts from Arthur Ave yeah because he would always get a pound of cheese and like half a pound of ham I'm like why'd you get a half pound because it's more expensive yeah yeah it's the prices I'll get a half a pound of ham and a pound of cheese yeah I was like what the [ __ ] get a pound of beef used to drive me nuts I remember every time you used to come in the room be like hey you want something from uh the deli I'll be like yo he's like you want an egg sandwich I was like yeah let me get a bacon egg and cheese and he'd be like get mad about it you'd be like because it's cost more money yeah like an egg on a roll is like a dollar bacon egg and cheese like 350 right or ask you you'd be like I want this and you're like since when yeah you want like an egg sandwich or something I was like yeah bacon egg and cheese he was like hey can I get chicken he he at one point he knew I didn't like okay let's say this is different but he would go to the deli and I worked at the camp when we were working at the camp um he knew in the morning I didn't give a [ __ ] what we would get but it was just the most plain thing and it was just a ham and cheese and mustard he loved that type of [ __ ] and then I got I hated it when he first would get it for me I'm like this is so [ __ ] like do you just do Mish Mish when you guys are doing it like what is this and then I'm I I and he was like just you know just eat it it's food whatever dad would say and then I started liking it I don't know and then I would eat it every morning with just ham and cheese and mustard and a huge [ __ ] hero a huge dad's the type of person like don't ever just let him go get a sandwich for you because the sandwich that's gonna come back is going to be terrible if you're if you're picky about it and you know yeah he's like I got your liverwurst and [ __ ] swiss cheese I'm like why is it was this [ __ ] 1970 sandwich like I don't want this [ __ ] sandwich I don't think I've ever even had liver what the [ __ ] is liver do you use two different knives when you make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches no here's what I do I used to I always use tail I do I do the jelly first because it comes off easier and then I go to the other bread that's plain and I wipe all the jelly off on it then I go into the peanut butter and I'm telling you right now works works very well I watched a Selena make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the other day and lose it no because I did lose it in a sense because this whole time in my life I've been using two knives to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich yeah it's wild too pretty OCD too because I just used to hate going into the jelly and seeing old [ __ ] crusty peanut butter in there drove me [ __ ] nuts yeah I hated that [ __ ] yeah it drove me [ __ ] crazy so you never purchased the peanut butter uh and jelly like in the jar no no I don't want them coming mixed the chemicals it's like oil and water it's just like they float on each other it's not refrigerated after it's disgusting I don't want it so I don't know I always use two knives and then Selena's making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me like when we first started dating yeah and she just had a wet washcloth and wiped it off yeah and then I said to myself wow whoa yeah why have I never thought of that before in my life yeah it's kind of cool no wonder no wonder I [ __ ] sense no wonder I would come home from [ __ ] like a long day of just whatever [ __ ] I was doing I'd be like why are there 400 [ __ ] butternuts in the fridge I used to do that too with a lot of different things yeah man don't ever stick one knife in both things yeah yeah it's like mayo and mustard you know what you don't you don't want condimencies she takes a wet wipe or you or she wets a wipe she'll wet a wipe it okay okay like a baby I'm taking like towelettes tastes like aloe no no no that's the other thing like I never really understood is like you open up a peanut butter jar and there's [ __ ] old jelly in there yeah man yeah that's weird it's so gross no stuff like that throws me off too an organic peanut butter suck my [ __ ] [ __ ] with that you look at that [ __ ] that [ __ ] is full of oil it's disgusting you put it on a knife it doesn't even stay on it yeah and it just drizzles all over go to eat it it's a [ __ ] sloppy sandwich yeah I don't want that [ __ ] I you know what I would have they not figured out a real creamy thing it's all chunky and [ __ ] it looks like baby [ __ ] and eat it yeah organic organic peanut butter dude and where's that all that oil coming from it doesn't make any sense yeah why is it so just such a greasy peanut butter peanut gross I as I've gotten older I still enjoy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but I Toast My Bread now when I make a peanut butter it's a little bit more messy but I don't see I think that sounds great yeah I don't like I don't like too much mess with my PB sunshine I don't like that yeah you like them being softy yeah I like that the peanut butter just [ __ ] [ __ ] nuzzles up to the [ __ ] jelly you know I hate yeah I don't have any of those [ __ ] jelly creeps coming out the side are you a cream are you a creamy are you guys creamy guys crunchy guys oh I'm uh I'll do both I'm creamy all the way dude yeah I want [ __ ] crunchy peas I'll do this I'll do both but I'm just thinking about Danny just eating like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the jelly you know when it falls out and goes on your plane just standing you go yeah you better go on that plate because better ooze for me this is the thing also about that is is I'm not going to come back for that jelly that Jelly's just discarded I'm not just gonna pick up jelly and eat it I'm gonna see yeah no you gotta take a last bite and swipe it up no I know what he means no I'll take the bread and just go over if I have bread left then I'll go over the jelly and get it on it no I'm on a little flavor left you know like putting [ __ ] uh what's the Italian thing you put [ __ ] butter in the [ __ ] you know put bread in whatever leftover sauce gravy it's on the plate yes that's a gravy swipe that's like more realistic food like if any jelly leaves my sandwich it's garbage now yeah that's the garbage jelly also I know jelly is food but it doesn't look like food no because it's not it's not food you know what I'm a big fan of though like uh like strawberry jams I'm a big Jam guy yeah I like jam jam and butter thing I think it also just tastes I think it tastes is it more expensive though yeah it is because it's like some old [ __ ] white woman in a bandana from Vermont bottled it that's why yeah and she like that's what every [ __ ] jam looks like and they all have that same weird ass like script font on it yeah and then the top looks like an old like uh picnic uh yeah it's like uh it's like a picnic blanket yeah like a plaid and it's some person you don't know but they put their name on it it's like Amy's jelly yeah yeah it's mad good bro but it's also ten dollars yeah yeah like you like get honey from them too and like sell those like bee stingers yeah it's so goddamn organic did you know that there you probably I mean I think this is this might be pretty well known there's the [ __ ] I forgot the name of the bread it's pretty expensive but the guy that owns it he was in jail for [ __ ] ever and he used to make bread in jail then he came out and started selling his bread and making is it the people is it the brand with the guy like this yeah with the guy on with the guy with the [ __ ] dude with the mustache I think he has a stash like pizza oh yeah yeah yeah I know what you're talking about yeah from prison to that and became super popular because it's healthier bread yeah but it's just it's just like and I think he only hires like or you know he doesn't only hire but he'll hire people with a prison background like if they have you know if they went but probably I don't know if it's everybody but they just test the bags like come on yeah yeah yeah yeah they're like it's not good enough this is not this past past inspection and then uh Jared uh Jared I remember used to call just peanut butter sandwiches brick sandwiches bricks bricks yeah couldn't swallows chokes it's the jelly helps it go down yeah yeah Lubes it Lubes the butter Dave's Killer Bread Dave's Killer Bread yeah which is wild name yeah yeah yeah because maybe killed someone too yeah Dave's five to 15 alive or something like 15 a light yeah five to Fifteen grains and just so you know Wikipedia it says anytime bread is used to serve any other type of meat or cheese or anything else it immediately is categorized as a sandwich yeah so what's an Open Face Sandwich that's just a [ __ ] piece of toast that's just you not folding it you know what I mean I guess pizza then Pizza is a [ __ ] sandwich that's what I'm saying so pizza's not a pizza until I fold it then it's a pizza it's sandwich yes Pizza sandwich come on guys why are we moving the goal post here yeah yeah no it's a we're blurring lines yeah it's a hot dogs and hot dog if anything I have to eat it vertically it's weird right you know you're gonna turn in a [ __ ] hot dog upside down and eat it you can eat a sandwich upside down it's still the same [ __ ] that's kind of true vertically or horizontally you mean because everything's going in your face horizontally not vertically what are you leaning over it like because look at this this is a straw this is a hot dog right Yep this is a hot dog yeah if I turn it over the hot dog falls out of the sandwich yes that's not a sandwich because if I have a sandwich and I turn it around like this it's still there it's a sandwich yeah it's the same thing yeah the Euro grip if you hit it with that yeah because I mean I hate people that will [ __ ] take a hot dog and like eat it mad Thug or at least why do you get your hot dogs like that yeah it would be like like you're holding the Glock sideways yeah I'm like why are you eating a [ __ ] hot dog like that bro eat it the [ __ ] real American gay way just [ __ ] present in your mouth yeah get it like that even even this that would be funny this is way better to eat a hot dog than eats sideways bites and [ __ ] dudes sideways bites are weird also you're just risking your [ __ ] mess what kind of spoon do you use in cereal a big spoon or a little bit what kind of spoon do you use when you eat hot dogs I've cut up many spoon dogs oh like are you saying a bigger or smaller spoon yeah they use a big spoon or a small spoon I gotta do a big spoon I'm a big spoon I want everyone I want a lot of liquid in that I want a lot of crunch in that small spoons it's just like it's not enough it's not a big enough vest not a big enough and like how like if you have to do why am I doing 50 dips yeah you want like you want like a good solid 15 20 like actually how many scoops are in this average cereal wow that's it's like licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop 15 depending on the spoon but yeah I'm not doing also you see a pickup and marshmallow more [ __ ] more [ __ ] falls out of a smaller spoon a big spoon's just like yeah I got what you need I love with there's throughout episodes when I re-edit them and like I'll see you talking you say like so many words kind of wrong yeah no it's [ __ ] hilarious like you said you tried to say laxatives before you said laxatives did I say foreign I was like yo I'm not gonna I'm not gonna cut him off because he's not he's he's telling a story but I have to bring it up at some point that's what my brain is too whenever there's a smaller he said laxatives you never see me on the camera laughing Alexa just meet my companion a feces sounds like a book from the Bible open your Bible relax it is dude wax it is three three fourteen do you drink [ __ ] cereal milk I don't drink that [ __ ] out of the bowl I just had Cinnamon Toast Crunch with almond milk and it made me not even think about the almond milk damn you said almond almond almond milk almond how do you say it almond I say almond milk you say almond yeah you say almond I'll say almonds like the Almond Brothers you're talking about an Empire I'm talking about a nut I'm almond that's the items I'm an Empire almond almond milk oh dude let me tell you something orange how do you say orange orange yeah we both said orange listen I've had these colors you don't say orange yeah I say orange I say orange I don't say orange I say orange you say on or on on do you say Florida or Florida Florida what the [ __ ] Florida how many O's are in there bro one I know so why are you saying floor what about Flo Rida Florida Flo Rida say Florida yeah Florida Florida Florida you see I get a lot of [ __ ] about this one how do you say go [ __ ] yourself how do you say go [ __ ] is it drawer or drawer drawer drawer just one draw drawers right drawers not drawers drawers drawers drawers yeah a draw I call it a draw draw no no I call it a drawer a drawer oh you throw the ER in there drawer draw me like one of your French girls all right guys another one uh thank you everybody for listening I gotta get home it's too late um but yeah uh Michael where can they find you on the internet Bud uh Michael Michael underscore low priori on everything besides Twitter is low priori Mike okay and then Jared where can they find you on the internet Jared Lord priora on Instagram that's it all right guys and you can find me at Daniel o'briari everywhere on the internet uh make sure to hit the like button hit the Subscribe button and then uh you know we love you guys hope you guys have a great uh holiday and thanks for spending part of your holiday with us beautiful you guys are Great America's gay America is gay I forget let your you know your flag's fine okay bye guys check us out Mikey [Music] okay

Channel: The LoPriore Podcast

Views: 6,568

Keywords: santagato studios, lopriore podcast, lopriore, danny lopriore, frankie alvarez, the basementyard, basement yard, other peoples lives

Id: 0qdoydU_AZc

Length: 78min 3sec (4683 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 04 2023