Indiana Jones Retro Collection Postmortem - Hasbro 2023

thank God it's fake see you can tell in the entire history of vintage 1980s toys there are few action figure lines as highly praised despite their extreme brevity as kenner's Adventures of Indiana Jones a lot of this could boil down to people's Nostalgia for kenner's Star Wars brand or their memories for those early days when Raiders of the L AR was the only Indiana Jones film much in the same way so many seemed to get wistful for the Atari 2600 Raiders of the Lost AR game cartridge however despite the deserved praise that has been heaped upon kenner's all too brief Indiana Jones figure line the fact remains that it did not resonate with enough kids at the time died an early death and ever since Indiana Jones toys have been treated by lenses in a half-hearted manner at best and what feels like a begrudging obligation to Lucas film at worst that's certainly how the latest Spate of Indiana Jones products pushed out by Hasbro in 2023 immediately felt and true to form they did an autopilot and scattershot range of products with every expectation they wouldn't have to worry about it Beyond 6 to 8 months as part of their blasé layup they announced an Adventures of Indiana Jones retro collection that would feature a smattering of figure Recreations of kenner's original range as well as a microscopic amount of Gen X wish fulfillment in the form of of an additional five figures in the Retro style that gave us characters from the other two classic Indiana Jones movies in the80s unsurprisingly no characters from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull were slated for the Retro collection and in an eyebrow raising move for those of us paying attention at the time no dial of Destiny Figures were announced for this range either just one of many early indicators that Hasbro never intended long-term effort behind this relaunch of Indiana Jones with no vehicles or mini sets the first wave of figures included Indiana Jones Marian Ravenwood bellock and his ceremonial robes tote and the German mechanic all Recreations of original Kenner toys the rumor at the time was they'd used a Hasbro employes Personal Collection of figures to get these recreated but I can't verify that claim what I can verify is that these figures feel really really cheap the legs are extremely gummy and constantly seiz up at the hip joints risking total joint failure at those points unless you regularly boil the figures in hot water the only advantage to this decision with the material for the limbs was rendering the fingers and thumbs more flexible so breakages which were notoriously common with the original ker figures have far less chance of Happening Here the flagship figure in this line and the most anticipated for people who cannot find or afford him on the secondhand Market is Indiana Jones himself what should have been the figure Hasbro put the most care into turned into an absolute mess if you can manage to ignore the fact that his trousers are now almost yellow they gave his face the most bizarre eyes and eyebrows one could have anticipated he looks nothing like the original kener figure as poor as the original Star Wars retro collection Figures were at least they generally looked like the original vintage figures in the faces matters were made worse with the accessories either in deference to the bullish anti- repo segment of the collecting Community or through sheer Inc competence ind's whip was half the length it had originally been with a handle that was now as big as a traffic cone at the same time they tripled the width of the revolver grip so they went to the trouble of trying to make the figures more durable only to make the accessories so big they pushed those new flexible hands to the absolute limits of their stress tolerances as if Hasbro never intended these figures to be taken off their cheap as magazine paper cardbacks and displayed as mere simulations of usable products the other figures in the wave didn't farare much better Mar and Ravenwood despite Hasbro's claims was nowhere near an exact match for the original figure the pattern of the dress was wildly different with no lace flower on the back the sculpting of the neck was imperfect and tilted on every example found on pegs the monkey accessory so smoothed over it looked like someone applied heavy amounts of digital noise reduction to the original and despite her tiny feet Hasbro denied this release of the figure the dedicated footstand that Kenner very wisely packed in with her in 1982 bellock fared marginally better than these first two figures generally zeroing in on the original figures Aura but like maran's dress Hasbro opted to buy Overstock clown costume fabric with huge polka dots on it the original figures robe had a finer pattern on it with an actual raised texture this fimile looks rather low rent compared with the original the Nazi spy tote has a base figure that is largely unchanged from the original and yes his pistol is now chunkier than the Vintage Kenner version it's when you consider the trench coat accessory that the rented suit approach by Hasbro becomes evident once again where the Kenner original had a trench coat that simulated the shiny leather of tote's sinister Overcoat this remake is beyond dull in its finish muddy in the details and looking more like a lump of rubber saddest of all after Indie is the German mechanic either to troll collectors or out of sheer apathy with their partner Factory they opted for an orange spray tan for this figure's re-release the original at least looked like a human being in skin tone this is horrendous and yes he comes with a far chunkier version of the wrench accessory carried by the Vintage Kenner figure it's a dumpy lineup of figures all told but Hasbro decided to roll onward with two more segments despite the understandable disappointment generated by wave 1 the Temple of Doom wave was a mere two figures Temple of Doom Indiana Jones and Short Round who is now Infamous as the figure figure in the line who doesn't have any glue on his cardback bubble so most of them fell off in the stores while hanging on the pegs Temple of Doom Indy may be more disappointing than Hasbro's first attempt while they improved the face by a few degrees they retained the yellowish trousers and sculpted his upper body in a sad attempt to simulate his trashed shirt however the resulting effect is that Indie is wearing either a vest made of mashed potatoes or Kylie man's dress from the can't get you out of my head video but that's not the real slap in the face with Temple of Doom indie no the real insult is he only comes with the thuggy knife he uses to cut the bridge in half and even though this version of Indie still has the hook for his whip no whip is provided Hasbro just slapped collectors in the face on this one without even trying to hide it alongside him is Short Round packed with only a torch and standing at a height that makes him look much older than he was in the film just compare him to the 2008 version of Short Round if you doubt me he should be at least a centimeter or more shorter sadly Willie was not offered nor Lam so this Duo stands alone as the sole representatives for Temple of Doom the Retro collection moves into Last Crusade for its Final Phase now providing a version of Indie from Castle brunwald and the motorcycle chase once again with those blasted yellow trousers he now has a neck tie and comes with a revolver his shoulder bag and the Holy Grail when you consider that Hasbro has once again denied an Indiana Jones figure his whip despite this figure also having the hook for it and when You observe that the very awkward looking Henry Jones senior figure was only given a closed umbrella as an accessory yet he was the guy truly searching for the Holy Grail then none of the decisions for these figures make a lick of sense there is no excuse for Hasbro to be packing any Indiana Jones figure in this retro collection without a whip we're witnessing either a very cynical attempt to save literal pennies per figure or a tacit admission that their whip accessory was unusable trash and they didn't have the time or moot ation to correct the weapon for the rest of the line so they deleted it the one thing I can say is that the Last Crusade Indiana Jones does provide the single best reason for this entire retro collection to exist that shoulder bag unlike the chunky pistols and that laughable whip the shoulder bag actually looks and works like an accessory Kenner might have made and that many of us in the 1980s wished they had provided with the original Indiana Jones figure and before you come at me saying oh they made it for the map room playet that accessory is inaccurate and janky and it doesn't sit on the figure properly so let's disqualify that one right now unfortunately the Vintage Kenner Indie was modeled accidentally or deliberately off photos from the Ravenwood bar scene the one time the shoulder bag is not worn because he's wearing a shoulder holster under the jacket for his Browning high power and with the Temple of Doom retro Indie not even having a jacket that shoulder bag should have at least been given to him as well since he didn't get a whip either oh before I forget we also received Last Crusade Salah which is something of a head scratcher given Salah was originally a kener figure that they didn't bother to recreate however I suspect they didn't want to spring for the soft goods robe and instead decided the alternate version of Salah would be a suitable compromise in truth this Salah is the only decent figure in the entire line that really adds to a person's kener collection in a credible way we get a new variant of Salah and another pointless chunky Indie revolver that Salah never used so we can toss that in the trash or whatever he only briefly carried a Walther P38 in the film the same weapon used by tote so it's weird they didn't reuse totes pistol instead is there anything you can do to salvage this line for your collection well actually yeah but some of the solutions are simple While others are more difficult first let me set a baseline for all of you who have the original ker figures if you have the original ker lineup with all of the accessories you don't need any figures from wave 1 whatsoever if you have the Vintage figures but don't have the accessories I would not advise using the accessories that come with retro Indie tote and the German mechanic with your kener versions as these Hasbro accessories will break their thumbs off I would instead encourage you to purchase reproductions flat out from vintage Star Wars replacement parts on eBay unfortunately he does not offer the mechanics wrench but you can get everything else you would need for Indian tote which means you'll actually have a revolver that fits in ind's holster as the Hasbro one pretty much fails in this respect as well this store also offers a replacement for maran's ultra rare figure stand but be aware it will not work for the Hasbro retro Maran as the remade figures footh holes are too small compared to the Kenner original now are there figures that are so inferior to the Vintage Kenner versions I wouldn't recommend owning them at all well as bad as the Hasbro Indiana Jones and Maran are they were hard to find in 198 2 and command high prices today so I reluctantly admit if you're out of luck in the Vintage Department these are your best bet as unfortunately Hasbro's retro collection put the premature kibos on Stan Solo's excellent Indian Maran which would have been my recommendations over the Hasbro versions bellock and tote are just fine all things considered if you don't own the Kenner versions the German mechanic is where I have to throw the gauntlet down this figure is so laughably bad it has no place in a vintage Diana Jones display not even as a stand in for the original my best advice would be to get this one for the wrench carefully shave the handle of the wrench thinner on each side and then find a loose kener original Mechanic as for the rest of this line there are opportunities you can take to improve their situations and make a somewhat respectable showing of the Retro collection but it's an annoying Prospect first you have to get yourself two more Last Crusade Indies in addition to the one you already have next open those Indies up remove the shoulder bags and then set one of those Indies to the side next comes the hardest part and if you're not very confident with kit bashing a process where you might damage your figures you take one of those spare Last Crusade Indies and your Hasbro retro Raiders Indie and you get them carefully dunked in boiling water taking precautions not to submerge their spring-loaded right shoulders and then you swap their heads as the Last Crusade Indie has a much more acceptable face this isn't an easy process whatsoever and I cannot recommend it to the inexperienced because it necessitates careful use of a punch to coax the large neck Peg back through a hole that is much much smaller slipping with that punch could damage the body of the figure or the head you're trying to install now that you have the head swapped you go to the internet and you purchase three whips and one revolver from that eBay seller I mentioned a minute ago if you don't want to buy a Repro revolver you can shave the grip down on the Hasbro one on either side but be very careful so you don't cut the end off the grip accidentally in the process however if you don't use some kind of Repro whip your figure is going to look ridiculous there's no getting around this problem it's that bad now that you have those sorted put one of the shoulder bags on him and short of painting his pants a true taupe color and possibly making a huge mess of the figure in the process this is now the best situation your Hasbro Indie can be in moving on to Temple of Doom Indiana Jones you give him one of those replacement whips you bought and the other spare shoulder bag since Indie famously didn't have a gun throughout the entire adventure and literally forgot his holster was empty this makes the figure more accurate than intended I should point out that even with these improvements the Hasbro Temple of Doom Indie is still no match for a custom vintage Temple of Doom Indie yeah I know his shirt isn't all torn up but it still looks better than that melting marshmallow the Hasbro one is wearing my friend letoy on Instagram used this same strategy and gifted me an amazing Cairo Indie custom as as well add those shoulder bags and they really pop but if such efforts aren't an option for you do up the Hasbro version like I said and you'll be in a happier place even though there's nothing you can do about awkward puberty Short Round finally we can give Last Crusade India Whip and then we toss his revolver away as well and we go get ourselves one of the webly revolvers from Marauder's task force for him instead now Last Crusade Indie is looking worlds better than before meanwhile his father can have the Grail to hold on display lastly when you're ordering that webble from Marauders make sure you order a Walther P38 pistol as well so you can give it to Salah since he briefly carries one in the Grail Temple scene and the Marauders pistol looks better than that Kenner version and with that you've optimized your Indiana Jones retro collection display to the best of its baked in options without fully customizing them beyond their ability to be toys pound-for-pound Hasbro's Indiana Jones retro collection is a dull thud of an experience I've maintained since the beginning this was an effort that should never have happened happened they should have re-released the range of San Diego Comic-Con lost wve figures that were so limited in 2011 alongside a number of the other major characters from the 2008 Range of figures and placed them on retro style cardbacks and I think this would have appealed to Indiana Jones fans and collectors far more than the sloppy effort shown here some have said they're disappointed Hasbro isn't going to continue making Indiana Jones products I'm of the mindset based on these things it's a mercy killing

Channel: RetroBlasting

Views: 21,002

Keywords: retroblasting, indiana jones, hasbro, retro collection, action figures, vintage, kenner, marion ravenwood

Id: FGBn2msOwS0

Length: 15min 51sec (951 seconds)

Published: Fri May 31 2024