What's up, y'alls? Today we're working
on our dating profile. The catch is, the profiles have been written
by the other guys. We're gonna have to
run our ridiculous dating profiles
by the stranger and then ask them to rate
the profile on a scale
from 1 to 10. The Joker
with the lowest score loses. My wife, Bessy, loves
when we play this game. Mine doesn't. ♪♪ Joe: Alright, Murr, let's do it.
Dating profiles. You might want to take
your ring off for this bit to make it a little
more believable, Murray. You're right. [ Laughter ] Hi. How are you? Sal:
Here's Murray's Cupid. You done these before? No, actually.
First time. Oh, really?
What's your name?
Justin. James.
Nice to meet you, buddy.
Nice to meet you. I-I just had
a disastrous breakup. Uh, yeah, me too.
You too? "Me too"? Have you ever done this,
like, online-dating thing? Actually, I've never
done that.
Really? All my relationships are
usually from either school... "Me too.
Me too." No, me too. Me too.
With the school. Do you mind
if I show you my profile?
Yeah, sure. I've never filled
one of these out before. Oh, shoot.
They have an Apple TV. I can cast right
to the thing. That's great.
And display. And...uh. Murray: Dude!
How awesome is that? Yeah, that's sick. So it's me.
I'm MagicLover76. MagicLover76. I love magic,
and I was born in 1976. Really?
Yeah. Then I wrote,
"I apologize in advance that you found yourself
here." That's a nice one. "Here's why I'm ready
for a relationship." "I'm desperate for
a second source of income because I purchased a home
I'm not able to afford. Please be ready
to move in A.S.A.P." That's -- that's really good.
I like that. Get real serious with him about how you can't
afford [bleep] I can't afford
the house I bought. Really? I'm in way over my head. Yeah. I've actually never
experienced that before. Yeah. Wait till you see
this next answer. [ Laughter ] So "People
who know me say I'm distracting
like a wind turbine and equally bad
for birds." Birds. Wow. Like, I'm...you know? Yeah, I know, like,
you're pretty energetic. Yeah. Distracting. I would add some things.
Add some things? Yeah, like, kind of like
the brooding type of person. Oh.
So add some depth to it. Yeah. Like, I mean, like,
I have a serious side, but I also have
this joking side so you can be serious
with me. Move your shoulders like him.
Move your shoulders like him. I can make you laugh.
Yeah, like... Yeah. Like that. Like a little...
Yeah. Bouncing up and down. Just two bros
brooding. Right? This kid's really cool,
man. Let's see. "My perfect partner
is playful, good with the kids, healthy coat,
and can smell cancer." [ Laughter ] You're essentially saying,
"I want to date a dog." [ Laughter ] Q: His shirt's awesome.
"Trust me, I'm a pro." His demeanor is such as well.
He's the best. And I'll tell you what,
I trust you. You're a pro. Am I a pro?
Your shirt. Oh, yeah.
I mean... [ Laughter ] "I spend a lot of time
thinking about the smell of bergamot
and rose on the nape of her neck
the last time I saw her." Yeah, that's kind of,
like, a red flag. That's a red flag. [ Laughter ] I love this kid. That's a speed bump.
I see. Okay, so "My favorite memory
from my childhood is the French nanny
with the incredible bod that used to babysit me. He taught me
how to be a man." "He taught --" Wow. Great guy.
Wow. Yeah.
I mean, hey,
he had a great body. [ Laughter ] On a scale of 1 to 10,
how dateable am I? You want me to be honest? I want you to be
dead honest. If I was a female,
hypothetically, and I saw this profile...
Yes. ...I would think
you are psycho crazy. [ Laughter ] "So a 1?" 1 to 10,
you would say a... A negative 10.
