- Imposter syndrome is common for late diagnosed autistic people. But I'm here to change that with 10 things autistic
people don't experience. Welcome. Thank you so much for watching. I really do appreciate it. I'm Orion Kelly, that autistic guy. I'm all about providing validation and support for autistic people and their loved ones, imposter syndrome and autism, something as a late diagnosed autistic person I can really resonate with. But some may ask, sorry,
what is imposter syndrome? Well, in basic terms, imposter syndrome is basically described as a behavioral phenomenon. In other words, not like a
medically diagnosed condition. And there's phenomenon known as imposter syndrome is
often described as a sense of self-doubt of intellect skills or accomplishments amongst people who can internalize their success and subsequently experience
pervasive feelings like self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and something that
tends to resonate deeply with late diagnosed autistic people. An apprehension of being exposed. But this is important to point out. This is a feeling and apprehension of being exposed as a fraud despite verifiable and objective evidence to the contrary. So there's verifiable objective evidence to go against our feeling
that we are a fraud. Yet we can't shake that feeling. Imposter syndrome in a nutshell, and I would hazard a guest to say most people living on
the planet will feel this at some point in their life. It may be as a result
of the job they're in or the group they're in, or
the activity they're doing or a type of accomplishment. But for late diagnosed
autistic people, this feeling of imposter syndrome can
be even more intense. Why? You may ask, okay, well
let's make a list together. Let's say you're a late
diagnosed autistic person. In other words, you are born autistic. You lived a large portion of your life, undiagnosed, unrecognized. As an autistic person. You finally are provided the opportunity,
which is a miracle by the way, the costs, the waiting time,
the access to professionals that actually know what
they're talking about. All these things going against you and you actually get a diagnosis, but then things still pop up to cause you to feel like a fraud to
experience imposter syndrome. What could that be put
down to? Gaslighting. Could that be a thing?
No. You are not autistic. You're crazy if you think you're autistic. I've, I know autistic people. Do you? No, but I I reckon if I did, I'd know them and you are not them invalidating, right? So there's gaslighting
from family and friends, but there's also invalidating
this invalidation can actually come from healthcare
practitioners, psychiatrists with no real understanding,
no real experience, no real education in modern
day medicine in diagnosing autistic adults. This invalidation can come from
employers, fellow employees, teachers, schooling. You can be invalidated
from all sorts of people. The issue is none of these
people have any idea about you and your experience as an
autistic person that leads to imposter syndrome. It isn't just water off
a duck's back masking. You've masked your entire life. In other words, learn to
hide your true autistic self. In doing so, you're gonna
start to have a special set of skills and you'll mask and suddenly like, actually, you know, I can do okay in these situations that these people seem to struggle with. Yeah, that again, that feeds
into imposter syndrome just because you've built up
a specific set of skills. And that leads into another
reason I reckon why you as a late diagnosed autistic
person may experience imposter syndrome, your own internalized ableism. People hate this by the way. People are constantly trying to spit fire on the community at large who can be very ableist. I get it. But the thing
is, what about you? So you are part of society. Late diagnosed autistic
people definitely still hold themselves to standards
that are unacceptable. That should not be expectations
that can't be met anyway, based on your own internalized ableism. And probably the final thing
I'd add to our list of why as late diagnosed autistic people, we can experience imposter syndrome, I reckon is probably our own rite of passage in late diagnosis. And that is identity crisis. We all go through an identity crisis. If I've been diagnosed later
in life, who was I prior? Who am I now? Who should
I or would I or will I be? Because in a way, it's
like you have two lifes pre-diagnosis, which presumably
everyone said, no, no, you are just a bad, crappy
person that doesn't fit in. You are, you are not supposed to be here, you just aren't right? And you thinking, that's who I am to. In fact, no, you're autistic
to, you're going, oh, so if that's not who I am, who am I? I can't just say I'm autistic. There's, there's gotta be
more than that's who am I? This feeds into imposter syndrome. This is an experience as a
late diagnosed autistic person. Even a person diagnosed earlier
in life as they grow older and grow into themselves might
start to feel this pressure of imposter syndrome. So let's kill off that
imposter syndrome once and for all my friends with these 10 things
autistic people don't usually experience put differently 10 signs. You are not autistic.
You see what I'm saying? You see where I'm going with this? If you don't, in general terms,
experience these 10 things, you need to drop the
imposter syndrome, my friend. Believe and embrace
your autistic diagnosis, your autistic identity. Number one, social success as an autistic person
experiencing imposter syndrome. Just a quick little leveler. Let's talk about your social success. How's your friendships going?
Do you have many friendships? Are they successful? Do you find it hard to make new friends? What about even just meeting new people? How are you in the social situation - Of meeting new people
in new environments? Is that something you thrive
at or is it a challenge? Does social success come easy to you? No. Welcome to my world.
You're welcome to stay. Just not too close to me. My over there. Keep going bit further. The next thing autistic people
don't usually experience is not being bullied, harassed, ostracized. So you are saying there's
people on the planet that don't get bullied. Who are these people you speak of? Imagine if I said, Hey,
are you a person who for the most part, never
really gets bullied, doesn't really have any
experiences with being ostracized, discriminated against or harassed? Is that something that resonates with you? The idea that that isn't a thing for you. You've come to the wrong
place as autistic people. It's probably not part of your
standard experience in life to simply just easily fit
in, be accepted willingly and knowingly embraced
by your fellow humans. Is that something that's not
especially familiar to you? And to add to that, have
you gone through life with people feeling comfortable around you or people just for the most part and there's always
exceptions for the most part, feeling pretty at ease and
comfortable around you, not bothered by your differences. Would you say the world
at large would class you as just your standard normal human? No. No. You gotta ditch
the imposter syndrome, man. This is a reality. Check on
the life of an autistic person. Number three, do you love socializing? Do you absolutely love being
around other people? Now? I get it. There are exceptions and I don't think that I can
just say I hate socializing or I hate being around other
people, but I don't like it. Okay, so for starters,
what's the environment? The sensory environment like? Well, there'll be lots of people there. Are they people I know? Are they safe people or people I know who
make me uncomfortable? Or are they people I don't know. So this is the thing, right? You might go, oh, I do love socializing and hanging out with people. Yeah, but on what terms? I mean in general, are
you a social butterfly? Who just loves being around people? Are you a social butterfly?
Who's a people person? Is that you? It's not
me being around groups. Do you love events? Do you love catchups
meetups, meetings pop up, little parties pop in visitors. Do you love that whole kind of like just unpredictable nature of socializing and interacting? Why am I my whole body wobbling? I dunno. I'm just trying to say if you
don't usually experience these types of feelings of man,
I just love socializing and hanging out and being a people person and social butterfly and going to new events
and groups and things. I mean, if that's not something
you usually experience, you need to start listening
to your daily experiences and stop letting the world push you into doubting your own identity. Number four on the 10 things
autistic people don't usually experience is around speech. More specifically natural speech. Do you as a late diagnosed autistic person with imposter syndrome experience
natural speech experience? Natural tone, natural
pace, natural volume. In other words, people don't say, why are you talking so loudly? Why are you talking so
fastly? What did I just say? Why are you talking so
fast? I'm keeping that in. What about repetitiveness? Is your speech natural or
can it be quite repetitive? Do you explain something
seven times like This is me. Do you have an autistic child
who sounds like a professor? Do you have weird choices of words? I love the autistic vibe of the choices of words used. Some would say they sound like professors. Others would say they sound old fashioned. Others would say they
sound from a different country or culture. There's something really
unique about an autistic person's speech. What I wouldn't say in general
terms is it comes across neurotypically natural. Number five. Can I comfortably
say that you don't stem? I mean as a late
diagnosed autistic person, I know you stem right? Stemming is an integral part
of our day. Why regulation? This is so important. I say
it every time. Regulation. What helps you regulate yourself? What keeps you in the ballpark
of feeling okay with life? Stimming is a big part of that. To say you don't, stim probably isn't
something you could accept or even get your head around,
but that's what I'm saying. The experience of not stimming
should not be something that an autistic person
can easily relate to. No. Would it be right in me saying to you late diagnosed autistic
person, you have no need, no urge for repetitive
movements or actions or activities for in the
most part, the sole goal of regulation. You've become dysregulated and you are using these
repetitive actions to provide you with a sense of regulation. You never have that urge or need. That's probably not your experience as a late diagnosed autistic person. Number six on the 10 things
autistic people don't usually experience. It's around the environmental stuff. I don't mean the climate. I
mean environmental triggers. They're nothing. Environmental triggers. They don't bother me.
Huh? Not your experience. Yeah, not my experience either. Do you find yourself as a late diagnosed autistic
person not really picking up on sounds, smells, light, or things in the environment
that trigger your senses? Create sensory, overwhelm,
not your experience. Definitely is mine. Are you able to just get up in the morning and live your life like nothing
is annoying or triggering. Now seriously though, are you able to do that if you are able to do that? I'm, I'm offended. I This is not What are you
doing here by the way, this is, I'm annoyed and triggered by the idea that you are not annoyed
and triggered by things. Number seven, do you have
many and varied hobbies and interests? Oh, it's another thing that autistic people
don't usually experience. We know about this. Autistic
people have very specific passions and interests. Some call them special interests. The bottom line is some
could class it as obsession. Like I would class it as super passionate about
particular things they can change. There's no question about that. But the idea that we can
have many and varied hobbies and interests at one time,
to me is unthinkable. It's not something I can
experience or relate to. In other words, are you
kind of like that jack of all trades, master of none kind of. I just have many varied,
countless hobbies. I'm not so much that kind of person that has just a few special
interests because I am. I mean, come on. Number eight. In the 10 things autistic
people don't usually experience, would you class yourself as a
naturally relaxed, easygoing, adaptable kind of cat? That's me. Like they call me Mr. Adaptable. You wanna
point out someone who's relaxed and natural? Don't look at me. Me. I
don't mind change. I hate it. I'm a kind of a just goes
with the flow kind of guy. Your flow better not
get in my way routine. Sameness, no need for that here. If you so much as alta one
scary of my day, I will end you. Life doesn't make me anxious. I'm riddled with anxiety
and cry myself to sleep. Number nine, I love this one. Can you easily switch tasks as a late diagnosed autistic person? I couldn't relate to that
anymore than not being able to relate to that at all. No, no. Transitioning. You
might as well call me a car. 'cause I have my own
transition. What's that? That's transmission. Transmission and transition are two different things. Yeah, but it's still going
from one gear to the next. Okay, cool. So transitioning and transmission is pretty
much the same thing. The point I make, just cut there please. What I'm saying is I'm an autistic person. A late diagnosed autistic
person mean no likey, likey the transitions. I don't care if there's
something that needs to be done or something that has to
happen now I'm doing this. I don't wanna stop doing this
to do that, let alone trying to get an autistic child to transition. Like if they're doing
something after school and it's dinner time, oh my goodness, I need long service leave
from transitioning my kid to dinner, transitioning
from one thing to another. Totally fine. Is that your experience like
diagnosed autistic person? I don't think it is.
You see what I'm saying? How easily we can just completely
kill off this stupid idea of imposter syndrome. Don't forget autistic inertia. It's actually ingrained in
us to want to stay doing what we are doing. Conversely, autistic inertia
doesn't usually occur for neurotypical people. If you are the kind of
person that can switch tasks, can be at rest and go straight into motion or can be in motion and go straight into rest, then that's an experience I can't relate to. And the final thing I've
got for you, my friends, that autistic people do
not usually experience is, are you a person who can
always just be yourself and never be bullied or rejected
or discriminated against? Or this is a thing? Do you see no real need to
ever mask your true self? No, not me. You see what I'm saying? If you wake up in the morning and see no need to even forget about fear or anxiety, no need to
even consider masking or suppressing your true self. You are not experiencing
an autistic experience. You see how easy it is
to show the difference between a late diagnosed
autistic person suffering from imposter syndrome and an actual imposter. This doesn't occur to autistic people. What do you mean I can be
myself and not be rejected or bullied or ostracized or
discriminated or harassed? What do you mean I don't ever have to consider masking my true self? What are you even talking about for even more on navigating
a late autism diagnosis? You can check out my video unmasking after a late autism diagnosis. Embracing authenticity.
