"I'm Single." // Soul Sessions for Singles: Episode 1

so you hear us say we we passionate about relationship and relationship development you hear us always talk about uh married couples but we always say a successful single person is a successful married person and that's not to say that every single person wants to get married but the majority of single people do still desire to get married we have an extreme sensitivity and care for single people we love them and man it's tough out here right now for y'all in these single streets uh it's a lot going on everywhere you look in every space in every way uh and so we just wanted to come tonight to encourage you in your singleness have some real honest conversation and so my wife and i we got married uh late in age and late in stage so we understand as much as we enjoy being married we understand what it is to be single especially a single person in the kingdom of god and trying to live for god's kingdom and walk in that way right and so that was even before we had so many of the challenges that you guys haven't faced i mean between social media and all the stuff that's happening and and soul traps or thirst traps i'm sorry and dms and pictures and just it's just a lot to navigate through and so we want to just encourage you in your singleness and give you some tools [Music] so to be single to be single what does it mean to be single it always has such a negative connotation research has shown that most people do not want to be called single most people don't like to go to quote unquote single conferences or anything that will cause them to be into that uh that demographic they don't want to identify with that some people don't want to identify with it because of the manifestation of their mouth they're like i ain't single i ain't gonna be single i'm getting married so that has something to do with it and some people just don't like the connotation of quote unquote like feeling like they're in a a space that they're alone yeah so so being single should not necessarily have or hold a negative connotation is something that we believe that should be embraced so from a kingdom from god's from god's perspective from a kingdom perspective the bible says it like this i want you to live free of complications as possible right when you're unmarried you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the master marriage and all is nuts and bolts of domestic life and wanting to please your spouse leading to so many demands on your attention the time that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other the americans spent on becoming whole and instruments of god i'm trying to make it helpful make it easy as possible for you not to make things uh so that you what you want is able to develop in a way of life so that you can have time together with the master without a lot of distractions so like essentially uh the writer is saying that if you are single that you actually have freedom right you don't have nobody to check up on nobody to take care of nobody feed yourself you fed your whole family yeah nobody to say hey where you going or where you've been you kind of in a space where you're empowered in your own self and in your own source and so singleness we always say is the source of successful relationships so so when if you get in any relationship it is two whole people two whole people that make a whole a whole relationship that's whether it's a friendship or a marriage or a wedding uh two halves don't make a whole so if you properly love and embrace your singleness you properly celebrate your single life embrace it in his fullness then when you come into a relationship you have a greater sense of who you are you have a greater sense of what you want you have a greater sense of what you desire and what you need you know what you're looking for yeah because you spent your time and your energy becoming that yeah working on yourself and and not just you know not being well yeah being single understanding yourself and who you are helps you to have a better relationship with someone else that's right so a marriage that people always go for it doesn't rescue you a marriage reveals you you know people are anxious to get married i want to hurry up and get married but a marriage doesn't it does not rescue you it reveals you whoever you are whatever you are whatever you are not right and so uh people often want to try to get married to escape and the goal of marriage is not to escape but to add value and so that's two whole people adding value to a relationship who spent time engaging in their single life embracing it traveling making money saving money stacking money don't waste your single life wishing you were married right don't waste your single life wishing you were married because because that single time will pass and then when marriage comes then we have people who are married who's trying to relive their single life and people who are single wishing they were married yeah so in your single life you want to spend it leveling up you want to make sure that you are leveling up your life right what does that mean that means that whatever it is that you become is the level that you'll marry on right the level that you will uh be able to attract or engage in a relationship and so if you spend your single life just wishing to be rescued or dreaming for a particular relationship and you're living on a particular level you don't develop on the level that you need to and then not developing on that level will cause you to attract on the level that's your own instead of attracting on the level that you desire yeah and like you know and i'll speak for women in a sense for right now is that you know you want this you want this husband you want him to you know pay your bills and take care of you and all this other kind of stuff and yet and still you're not managing the things that are given to you as a as an unmarried woman so this whole leveling up is just it's really uh upgrading or uh storing up your value of who you are and what you're what you what what you're you're worth and only you god knows what you're worth but do you know what you were so this whole leveling up is understanding what god has called you to do what he believes about you and you're meeting that whatever you can do in the natural you're meeting that that that level of expectation that god has for you and not waiting for a marriage to quote unquote rescue you yeah and so when you're leveling up then some some ladies are uh are leveled up you know and guys aren't on the level that they're leveling up on and so now they feel lopsided in the level right and so and there's some guys that are level on a particular level that ladies aren't so you want to spend your single life increasing and adding your value adding the value to who you are so that your levels continue to change so what does that mean that essentially means become the person that you're looking for right so instead of just spending your time looking looking looking become what you're looking for so you can become more attractive for what's attracted to you right so you you become you get on purpose you get on assignment so that when you are in a posture of being engaged in a relationship or somebody is a lot of us have been in relationships that weren't on our level and as we continue to evolve or grow they didn't continue to evolve or grow so the relationship got stunted and could not grow so when you're becoming the person that you're looking for then you're not so preoccupied in your single life saying well i'm looking for a bull i wish i was in a relationship or i wish i had somebody to hold that may all be true but those are in your emotions and in your feelings but in the concentration of your identity your real focus is on becoming the person that you desire right and so i do not become so preoccupied by by who uh i'm looking for or what i want that i forget who i am don't lose yourself uh settling for wanting to be in a relationship that you lose the identity of who you are as an individual and that takes a a real security and it takes a real patience right as i said we got married in our 30s you know what i'm saying it takes a real patience to wait and to become and to know your value and your worth and what belongs for you and what you're looking for and what you're waiting for and what you desire so you don't diminish your identity while you're desiring to be in a relationship a great discipline in that season a great discipline of just continuing to hold fast to what you know that you're supposed to be becoming and then waiting and and you know and i won't say settling but just being uh content in the season that you're in and embracing every opportunity as an unmarried person to the point where you you know going where you want to go establishing relationships based upon you know what you want to do because all of that is necessary in regards to the person that you're going to attract and to me the worst thing is to come into a relationship and see the person for who they really are and not what you have seen them to be yes on your single life you are preoccupied with becoming the best version of yourself in your single life you are preoccupied with becoming the best version of yourself and you're staying out of the comparison zone you're staying out of the comparison because the thing that makes you feel more isolated or more lonely is usually watching somebody else be in a relationship talk about their relationship embrace their relationship and you are focused on you growing reading studying getting your credit type finishing your degree educating skilling up developing who it was that you were called to be and then you start looking at your friends and their relationships and you start comparing yourself your single season to their relationship season and perhaps they did the work and so they're in the relationship season and you didn't do the work or they didn't do the work but they just settled for jumping into the relationship that they lost their identity in the process of development and then you start focusing on them and you start to compare do not compare when you are single you are whole and the greatest fight is for you not to compare yourself to anybody in your single season understand that you are focused you are singly focused you are walking and functioning in your realm of identity and moving in your highest possibility right so while i'm waiting find contentment without compromise okay while i'm waiting find contentment without compromise babe talk about this because you talked about how while how you had to journey through a place where you wanted to be in a relationship so bad and it was almost when you became content that i showed up and before that you know that nothing would break for you i had been in a couple of relationships i've been getting engaged a couple of times but um i was just driving down the street coming from church and it was just in that moment that i just kind of surrendered to god and was like i'm content like i am finally in the place i'm not i'm not saying this just to be saying it but in my heart i was very very content and i would want to say probably like a couple of weeks later when i said that to god um i met my husband and he came into my life but it was because i had i had a heart that was totally toward being content in the season that i'm in and no no longer because i'm not going to tell you i was just you know discontent person but no longer was i looking you know trying to get married or looking at every single guy that looked at me oh yeah he's my husband no i was content with just being in the season that i was in so how did you get to a space where you were content without compromise right because it's like when you want what you want how do you find contentment without settling without diminishing you know who you are or what you want lowering your standards and accepting a relationship uh in that place of content how did you get there i think i got there out of era i think i got there because i got burned uh lowering my compromising lowering my standard and in a relationship but then you know in the back of my mind when i'm reflecting i'm just like this isn't the person that i want to be within and i'm not able to really be myself because they're they're feeling insecure when i when i when i bust up or when i come up or when i become myself they can't handle it so that's when i'm like do i want to live like this do i want to live in this kind of prison or do i just wait and be content and wait for the person that will be able who is big enough to surround me and me not lose myself yeah i think when i'm as a man it's a little different because in the kingdom we choose we find we go after and so our contentment is kind of we just find contentment and then when we're ready it's such a plethora of opportunities if you will i mean the ratio is about 15 20 to 1 per relationship so we just go out and start choosing and sometimes we compromise and get lost but women that those that wait uh in that process have a different place or space because they're trying to find contentment while really desiring to be in a relationship and feel like the pickings are slim and then start to compromise because there's there's a lack of healthy uh relationship that they feel like are viable for where they are or they they spend a lot of energy doing the work and then get into a relationship with someone who hasn't done the work and because a woman can't help but help then she feels like she can rescue save restore anybody and then ends up ends up unraveling in the whole situation i mean that whole contentment uh thing is is very necessary for your development and it's very necessary for the relationship that you enter into because this is the danger of lowering your your lowering your standards so that you can be in a relationship you get married to a person and then they you know y'all have this relationship and then all of the sudden you come to yourself and now you're making this person pay for something that you decided on your own that you were going to accomplish so don't let your singleness be all about waiting for a relationship embrace your singleness and find contentment in your space right you

Channel: Jermone Glenn

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Rating: 4.9808612 out of 5

Keywords: TD Jakes, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Revolution, Erica Glenn, Travis Greene, Breakfast Club, Motivation, Inspiration, Hip Hop, Church Business, Myles Munroe, Jermone Glenn, JGSaidIt, JG, The Revolution, RevolutionCM, ToTheFuture, Glenn Nation, Glenn, Mentors, Mentorship, Leaders, Leadership, Kingdom Principles, Kingdom, Jesus, Future, Conversations, Martin Williams, Church, Worship, Leadership Podcast, Millennials, Music, Relationships, Marriage, Goals, New Life Covenant Southeast, Podcasts, John Hannah

Id: 0kZ3fEDIIhE

Length: 14min 20sec (860 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 29 2021