I'm ready to move on...

[Music] I have a lot of points to address you're looking at my outfit and you're thinking Morgan you look insanely confused it's because I am it's 65° outside in December I don't even know what to do I have been fantasizing about the day for well over 2 years that I could film a video in my new bathroom when my new bathroom is some some what functional and I'm going to tell you right now it's not completely done there should be like a bathtub situation behind me there's no water faucets there is a toilet I've been anticipating the stay for so long that I don't even I feel like this is a lot of pressure right now this is a lot of pressure right now it's only 5507 and it's pitch black and I didn't take that into account oh you're [ __ ] kidding me is this this thing wants to run out after I've already done one eye not on my watch King almost it's like it's the perfect time and day for a December spectacular and it's Christmas this is my Christmas party I'm not I really thought that I would look so good doing that I didn't and I guess that's a good life lesson [Music] that I don't know what the life lesson is sometimes life just sucks I don't even know where to start okay I just got this whiff of inspiration today that I just want to sit down and tell you everything about my life that I've left out for the past 6 to 8 months I've had time to recuperate my thoughts I've had time to reel it all in feel like I could take a fishing lesson now because I've had time to reel it the [ __ ] in my top priority right now is getting this house done because I can feel I can feel in my bones and my my veins and my little itty bitty fake fingernails that maybe perhaps there is some sort of sense of stability on the way and if you've been following along you would know that I haven't had any sort of sense of stability for the past ever since I bought this damn house I just want to piece everything together to completion it is almost so so close to being done and I'm like thinking of the day that I can just wake up in my room and get ready in my room and not have my [ __ ] in a million different places and just have a bedroom of my own and like think my own thoughts anyway happy December I've been thinking over the past month I identify as a YouTube girl okay if you ever want to talk about YouTube I the person that you should call because I watch everyone I keep up with all the girls when I get on to YouTube what is going to make me feel all warm and fuzzy and cozy inside sends endorphins to my brain at a rapid rate is when someone posts a just super duper long video one scene cut get ready while they overshare about every single detail of their life the Whitney Simmons the my fam the Jaclyn Hill you know there is not a single type of person I love more than someone that will just here's my life tell you everything I never have a reason to get all prime and proper for these black tie events that's what's holding me back is cuz when I see all these girls they're getting ready for these magnificent events and they're like get ready with me to go on my jet to go to the NASCAR race in Japan while I'm meeting my boyfriend there I lit I literally love go to my mom and dad's house and back here I never thought that I could do that type of video because I'm never [ __ ] going anywhere or doing anything so I present to you my new series that I would like to call get ready with me to go absolutely [ __ ] [Music] nowhere an exclusive now that I have a bathroom to get ready in we can get ready and I can tell you all the things that I have been holding back back for the past 6 months I am finally ready I filled up my balloon with top secrets and I ready to stick a needle to it and let it burst here with me today I have my trusted bag of Secrets just to begin before we get really into the depths of things as of yesterday Ryan and Shane had their babies ooh I forgot the primer and quite honestly I never do the makeup without the sunscreen and the primer this is what I mean when I say my life is in a million places is that every time I go somewhere I have to pack up all the things that I may need and often times I forget things that I may need and then I go into a mini panic that I don't have all the things that I may need anyway Ryan and Shane's twin baby boys were born the other day and we are very very very excited I can't wait to have little matching swimsuits at the pool healthy beautiful babies on the horizon out there living their best life I was going to say they're running around but they're not they're babies they're literally like 3 days old this is the Nars radiant creamy concealer and I like to use a lighter shade than what I would typically use for a concealer just to put under my eyes because what can I tell you girls and gays and N traits at home the past 2 years have [ __ ] drained me we're just going to cover it up with some Nars creamy MC cream a lot of people were asking about an update on ADHD medication because the last time I did a get ready with me video I had mentioned that I was starting ADHD medication but I left it really vague and I left it really blank really up for interpretation why do people who desperately need help not go get the help that they need oh probably because people are so godamn judgmental about it right just for a little backstory I've been seeing the same therapist for 3 years in my head I'm always very hyper aware of how things come across you know so I I've been super afraid to go to this lady and be like hey maybe I want to try some medication because in my head I'm thinking oh she's going to think that I'm a crackhead that's trying to finesse her for hardcore drugs you know but I first got diagnosed with ADHD when I was a little tater taught in school because my parents would go to all of these parent teacher meetings and all the teachers were like yeah Morgan is you know really friendly and really fun but she never shuts the F up core memory that I remember from being in grades 1 through 12 is I wasn't paying attention in class ever get real comfy cozy and I would sit back in my chair the teacher was talking about God knows what couldn't have been a bother to me and I was counting the ceiling tiles of every single classroom people started picking up that something's a little fishy here and they would send me to the school counselor and the school counselor would be like what's your favorite subject in school and I'd be like oh yeah most definitely lunch no question Moran yeah would you rather I come you in a little while so that you can leave your card um love you too bye last year I went back and got rediagnosis not equaling C in your brain and I was like yeah you're so right you're so right I could get more into it if you wanted me to let me know but I feel like I've already talked about how every medication that I've ever been on just has not done me well I was on simola because they thought I had fibromyalgia made me into a zombie that will never come back from the dead birth control was absolutely horrific for me Accutane I had the worst nightmares ever so every medication that I've ever taken I've gone to the other side of it and been like wow that was a very [ __ ] 6 months of my life I got to a point in February and I know that those of you that have very normal beautiful functioning brains will not understand this she'll just be like why don't you just get out of bed and start moving I felt like I was paralyzed inside of my own room and I just could not for the life of me get anything done you know someone could have said Morgan if you do this task today we will give you a million dollars and I still wouldn't have done it like I just couldn't I could not properly focus on any one thing to get something done okay and well that was [ __ ] terrifying there's ghosts in here did you know someone died in here because I did but I don't think I ever told you that anyway Friendly Ghost super duper Friendly Ghost but there's definitely a ghost here so I asked my psychiatrist if I could possibly potentially dabble in the idea of getting on an ADHD medication I didn't know which one I didn't have a preference she referred me to a psychiatrist I went to him and he's like hey girly pop what's the problem I was like Hey sir the problem is that I feel like I am paralyzed in my own brain and I can't for the life of me do anything I could have a shark chasing me and I would just let it [ __ ] eat me because I didn't [ __ ] care and he was like yeah so I've talked to your therapist and we think that this would work for you they gave me to start riddling I'm not a doctor don't quote me on this but I believe it's like the least the least intense one there's Rin vians and Aderall and I was like okay listen here Dr druggy I am super duper sensitive to medication and I'm also super duper afraid of medication so he started me off 5 Mig twice a day quite actually taking the dosage that they would give to a kindergartener I get on and I'm like hey everyone I'm starting ADHD medication and people are like you crack that is snorting at her all for fun because of course you can't function without any stimulant in your brain you're a caffeine crack I'm like oh my God I'm taking 10 Mig to day but okay okay that is what made me realize that perhaps I should have given a little context but I will give you a review of my time on the medication anyway took it for about 3 months the enactment of of a day in my life when I was taking my medication okay this is me I'm dead asleep I wake up in the morning and I'm like I need to take my medication right now look take the medication it will make you super duper focused but the problem that I had with it is that I was getting Uber duper focused on whatever I was doing when I took the medication for an example let's say I pop my little pill and I'm washing a dish once it hits in oh not only am I washing a dish now I am washing every single dish that I've ever owned because I'm sudden hyper aware that there is dust on every single dish not only do I need to clean the dish I need to clean the inside of the dishwasher there's probably a bunch of creepy collar in there okay now I'm already here everything's sanitized but I might as well keep going oh there's dust on the floorboards that can't be good I need to clean the inside of the washer meanwhile I should be working I should be doing things right and here I am cleaning the top of the ceiling fan oh but then 11:30 hits medication wears off this is me dead de I had to then take a 30 minute nap from 11:30 to 12:30 pop the second D oh I should go for a walk I know I have a million things to do but I should go for a walk you know I used to go for a little stroll around the block no now I'm speed walking I'm doing it in sports mode like I am not [ __ ] around I think I'm training for a marathon now and I'm going to walk 20,000 steps why because apparently I super duper love walking and it's the coolest thing I've ever done this is awesome what else could I do other than walking then I get back home and the medication wears off and I again here I go you know when you're playing Tetris and it starts to get all wobbly woozy that was me when it started wearing off and then crash burn 400 p.m. comes you've taken both of your dosages for the day and I've had two like hyper manic States at this point neither of which that I did anything that I was actually needing to do I'm telling you you didn't want to be anywhere within a 10t vicinity of me once once that medication wore off the irritability and the frustration and the internal rage that I felt once that medication dissolved from my system oh of the vast majority of problems that I've had in my life anger has never been one of them and it just made me insanely insanely angry so even after playing with the dosages a little bit testing if I should take it once a day or twice a day I just decided that you know what Chief this isn't for me you know know sometimes you don't realize that something is happening until you hear someone else vocalize it and then you realize oh that's not like a crazy thought in my head that's something that happens to other people too and I saw this girl post a Tik Tok about how at 400 p.m. she gets her ADHD meds have worn off rage and I was thinking oh that is a side effect of the medication not just that I'm an insanely angry outraged flaming Elmo also made me feel very robotic I didn't have a sense of humor I didn't have any like haha that was funny like I just felt like a robot doing my tasks throughout the day I am not a doctor I'm not a psychiatrist I'm not a therapist you should not be taking any life advice from me ever ever and honestly I think it's just a mixed bag because the reason that I wanted to start taking it is because I have a friend that takes it and just does amazing wonderful 100% change her life and so I am in no way trying to shame anyone that takes it or defer you from taking it because I think that it's just literally a dice you're rooll you're gambling you might as well go to Vegas and put all your money down on one thing you don't know if it's going to win or lose until you actually do it so like I said I have friends that say that it has 100% completely changed their life for the better and then there's me throwing the TV remote at the wall because I'm so outraged in the middle of the day that I didn't get the inside of the dishwasher cleaned good enough that it just wasn't for me my psychiatrist just offered me to try something else you know he was like you could try a vians or an Aderall but I think that I just want to Raw Dog it a little more in life [Music] because maybe that's when I start to feel my best this is the portion of the video where my personality really shines through and I forgot to bring another battery to the camera so we just have to go to a completely different day the next question the next question that I've been avoiding because I feel like there is a way to articulate this in the right way and sometimes I just don't know what the right way is people have been asking me about the fact I have to use accent when I get a little too real in the emotion because sometimes it's just I just don't know how to address it face on you know I have to have little Russian Alter Ego to tell you the real sensitive question because Morgan sometimes doesn't know what to say but people have been asking what I've been doing because I have lost I would say a decently significant amount of weight this year honestly it's something that I avoid talking about in person and online because I just truly don't know what to say and I know that it's a sensitive subject to me and it's also a sensitive subject to other people so sometimes I just try to avoid like the plague mentioned once before that last year IID gained a lawsuit 35 in a pretty short amount of time I gained 35 lbs okay when you gained 35 lbs in a really short amount of time let me tell you something girl you can feel that you can feel that my leggings did not even fit onto my body that is how much I felt that I know that some people don't like to hear about numbers or any of that so if you don't like any of that skip over this but I got to a point at the beginning of this year where I was 240 lbs is there anything wrong with being 240 lbs no did I feel like absolute [ __ ] couldn't even look at myself in the mirror was so ashamed to even be seen in person in real life by anyone that I know yes I was having a hard time meeting up with people in real life cuz I was like oh my God they're going to look at me and be like wow sh she really let [ __ ] hit the fan when [ __ ] hit the fan so once my little L bang ended I was looking at myself in the mirror and I was like okay girl okay girl you really let yourself go here and it's not good like I just kind of gave up the way that I was coping with everything that was happening in that span of time was that I was stress eating Chili's triple Dipper daily we all know that I will gain and lose the same 20 lbs until the day that I die I've done it probably five times since I've started this channel but 35 40 lbs was a little more significant and I just really was having a hard time people ask why I don't like Halloween oh I've been scared shitless enough times in my life in the past year I have been spooked to death I was like Morgan you know perhaps you need to take time this year to really focus on getting your health in check because let me tell you something I couldn't even walk up the stairs I am all for like you are beautiful at every size every shape is a good shape I don't like the version of myself where I cannot bend over to pick something out of the freezer it's don't like it I don't want to see it it's not it's not slaying it's not giving anything go ahead girl give us nothing over the past 6 months I've gotten gradually really really into working out and this is something that I'm going to be honest I'm going to be honest with you all I've had a half of a shot I'm going to be honest with you all it's hard getting back into working out after you haven't worked out for a long time is like the most insufferably annoying out of breath I feel like I'm going to die experience ever primarily I've been going to boxing and that's when I really started to see like a transformation half boxing half weight this is the secret this is what people be doing to get all fitty titty as a person who has gained and lost weight at least 10 times in front of an audience this is my takeaway when you gain weight people are going to be a hell of a lot nicer they're going to give you backhanded compliments but they're going to be a hell of a lot nicer you know people are going to be like oh my God Queen we love you so much it happens to all of us you're beautiful at everything size and I don't know how you're so confident I wish I was as confident as you at your size be like you have such a pretty face and you're so kind and you're so funny like don't even worry about it it happens to all of us right and you're like okay thanks I feel like absolute [ __ ] but thanks Jessica and then when you lose weight people are like oh oh so you're abusing something you're mentally ill you're something's not right you're addicted to working out you have a problem you have a problem I don't know I don't know what to say about it I've been working on like a year-long fitness transformation video so I guess I can project my thoughts a lot more in that but right now I'm probably the most physically in shape that I've ever been in my entire life but I'm also the most self-conscious that I've ever been which is odd it kind of like warps your perception of yourself because you see yourself every day right CU in my head I look the exact [ __ ] same but when other people come up to me and they're like wow you look like you're really in shape and I'm like wait a second wait a second I don't I don't know what you're seeing I don't know what you saw before I don't know what you see now like it's just a really weird it's a very weird thing to process in your own brain and here's my other thing that I realized is I think I maybe had a little bit of reverse body dysmorphia because now that I've lost a pretty good chunk of weight all of my clothes that I already had fit I I think when I was 240 lb I thought I was like a size 10 12 oh but girly pop like I wasn't I wish that I would have cared this much to take care of myself because I don't think you realize how physically strong you can be until you're exerting yourself in that way some creepy crawler comes up behind me and is like hey how you doing little mama can I get your number I could pop them in the [ __ ] jaw I think more than anything that has been what I like the most about working out every single day is that I feel like if someone was coming up behind me to kill me that I could knock their [ __ ] teeth in and you know there's pros and there's cons there's to everything there's pros and there's cons this has to be the most used makeup product of my entire life this is the Too Faced Chocolate sole bronzer and let me tell you I if I was a finance bro and I had to look at my return on investment it would be plus green 5,000% I use this everywhere love I know for a fact that I did this to myself everyone Under the Sun wants to know if Lucas is moving into my [Music] house [Music] I I don't know I don't know people think it would be crazy if he moved in and I'm like I think it would be crazy if he left so every day when I do my makeup I like to make a false little wing with a darker bronzer pretend that I'm going to fly away into an alternate universe where I have have a house to live in I will soon and then I won't have to fly away the key to being makeup artist is that you fake it till you make it if you have makeup and you have brush you are now artist and no one can tell you otherwise so [Applause] you do whatever makes you feel happy you know what you came here for the hot gos I'm going to give it to you and this is something that I've never actually talked about I feel like I'm emotionally moved on enough at this point into my life where I can talk about it without breaking down into an actual breakdown but people for years and years and years and years have been asking if I'm personally still friends with Andrew and Garrett and oh man feel like when I talk to my therapist and she's like what are the points of like deep sadness in your life that is one of my points of deep sadness because even to this day I still don't exactly understand that sometimes sometimes times you just have to accept that you don't get to understand things and you don't get to have closure on things and you don't get to know people's reasoning behind things however I like to live in fantasy La La Land genuinely in my brain I thought that we were all like the best five friends that anyone could ever have I loved and cherished these people so much and I just had the best time being with them and being around them I was just young little 19 me like we're going to a hotel that sounds fun I thought that we were all having the time of our Liv little did I know that everyone was not having the time of their lives I was the only one having the time of my life and you know what I will keep it that way there was two countries going on country that was ran by Shane and Ryan and there was country that was ran by Andrew and Garrett and I was the river in the [ __ ] middle like wow I can see both countries I can dip my hand on both countries you know like I might as well be the equator I can touch both sides I don't think I ever realized that there was such a divide you know because I loved and cherished Andrew and Garrett so much and obviously I love and cherish my brother and shanee so much I'm just the river in the middle like wow it's getting deep it's getting deep over here I've tried to reach out to them and I've never gotten a response or like an acknowledge that I still exist I had conversations with both of them up until the drop off and it was never like yeah we we're never going to be able to talk to you again and we don't like you anymore and La I thought everything was fine I thought everything was good I thought everything was Dandy I thought we were all floating in our own little lifeboats having a good time and yeah I guess I just always thought in my brain that I was good enough friends with everyone that if the two countries wanted to divide I didn't know that that meant me see even now I guess that I'm just not a black and white person you know like I don't think I've ever looked at someone in my entire life and been like never ever ever contact me again I am cutting you off completely from my life and I never want to hear from or see your face again don't ever even think about me ever again you know I like to think that everyone that I've ever been friends with knows that they could always call me even if things went bad and I would always answer once I have an admiration for someone in my brain in any sense of the matter that I always have like a little piece of them that I carry in my chest I guess even now when I think of Andrew and Garrett I don't think of like oh wow they just kind of dro me off the planet I think of like oh my gosh I was always just enamored by like how fast Garrett could think of things how funny the things he would say were I just remember being so close to them and just being wowed by everything they said and did probably because I was what 19 and they were in their 30s so they've had like a lot more experience in life than me I still watch everything they do I'm still curious I still follow I still have notifications on like not only will I watch their videos I'll give them a like you know that's what I do love about YouTube is that you can get such a close look into people's life me who's still curious oh I'm going to watch every video I'm going to sit down and I'm going to watch it from to back and it just makes me sad because like all the things that they do remind me of the time that I was friends with them you know I'm like oh my gosh you still have this shirt and we bought it when we were together and that just makes me think of you so much and oh my gosh you guys are still laughing about the same things and you still have the babies I feel like my brother and Shane have each other and Andrew and Garrett have each other and I'm God's strongest Soldier I can I can handle it out here by myself you know but yeah I watch their videos and I'm just like happy I'm happy that they're still making videos together I'm happy that they have each other I'm happy that they seem like they're happy I just take away the good memories I guess oh yeah I guess we could move right along my eyelashes are starting to look pretty be and maybe I need some mascara one thing about me I am a Too Faced Chocolate Collection girl I use the bronzer I use the eyeliner I use the mascara Too Faced chocolatte collection if you ever want to sponsor me guess what you don't need to because I'm already doing it this is the best [ __ ] ever best [ __ ] ever I love it I love it with my whole heart and soul I will take away only the good things things for my brown mascara and that is that I love it as always the crowd is asking for a where's Trinity update and I have to tell you because she's not here to tell you that last week Trinity graduated graduated from school snaps and claps for the woman I know for 100% fact that Trinity will watch this so everyone go tell Trinity congratulations for graduating School in the comments she did it for the both of us concentrate on this or I'm going to get [ __ ] everywhere sometimes I think that I'm going to be more excited for reputation Taylor's version than I am going to be for my own house that I've been waiting for for 3 years you know someone asked me someone asked Shan asked Shan got their keyboard out and they did ask me someone was like how do you make friends in your 20s and I was like good God girl you were asking the wrong person because I have the same question all the time and I feel like I see people on Instagram with these big groups of friends right and they're always going out and doing things and getting dressed up and hanging out their big groups of friends and I'm like I don't know if I've actually ever had that so I don't know I like to think that there's more of us that are sitting in our room alone on a Friday night than there are people that are out and about living their best life with a huge group of friends and if you want to know a story that will make you feel a lot less alone if you're like me and you're a person that feels like you're alone in this world and you don't really know what to do with yourself because you're kind of alone in this world oh I'll tell you a story so if you've ever heard of Hunter Marino he used to film a little bit for us he's like so so kind and nice and amazing one of the best people that I met in La for sure he's just amazing and now he's this big Superstar photographer and he takes pictures of Selena Gomez and all these artists maybe like two years ago I was in LA because I was going back and forth of the time and I get a message from Hunter he was taking photos of a tour for an artist that was touring and he was like you should come to the show tonight we love to see you you can bring a plus one you can bring whoever you want come to the show tonight and I start looking through my contact list you know cuz I'm in La I'm like I don't live in LA anymore and I'm in LA and then I realize oh my God I don't have a I don't have a single person that I'm confident enough to reach out to and be like hey do you want to be my plus one to this thing and I'm just sitting in my bed all night thinking this is really [ __ ] sad because I didn't go because I didn't have a plus one and I don't want to show by myself and stand at this concert by myself okay eventually I move on right couple months later Hunter and this artist who touring with come to Colorado and Hunter messages me again and he's like hey Morgan we are in Colorado this time you should so come to the show you should bring a plus one and I'm looking at my contact list again and I'm like [ __ ] [ __ ] I still don't have a plus one you know like I have Trinity but she's in school she's busy I have Maddie she's having a baby she's busy and then I was like wow wow isn't it crazy that I have this online platform and I like connect with so many people on the regular but I don't have a single person in my phone that I could could reach out to to be a plus one to something that they don't even have to pay for options crickets crickets crickets crickets and then I was thinking like is this something that other people experience or am I just like so isolated in my own world that I am missing out on like this vast majority of people that's out living their life with all these friends every week I don't know I have to use a freckle pen now because now that I had skin cancer once in my life I can't go out in the sun and I don't get any so I have to use a fake pen oh someone else asked about how my scar is healing it actually is doing pretty good I have one here and one on my lower stomach I'll tell you surgery brutal I think I should start a petition that you should be asleep for that surgery but my little melanom skin cancer they got it out in the first swoop and terrifying yes but I have healed since then I'm just waiting for the camera to die at this point cuz I know that it's going to die just like myself social life in my 20s sad face we're back in action the last thing that I wanted to answer while we're hot and heavy in the questions is I saw someone ask about how do you find any any sort of confidence first of all I'm going to start with this this is the Mac boldly bear I have had this for so long and I think that you can buy one of these and just be good for your whole life time I wouldn't say I'm overly confident you know like you could still hurt my feelings for sure 100% anyone walking on the street could still hurt my feelings and a good place to start if you're not confident you got to figure out what you're not confident in right what could someone say to you that would hurt your feelings right because if someone could say something to you that's going to offend you that means internally you think it's true confidence 101 figuring out what you're not confident in and why if there's something you can do to make yourself more confident about the things that you're not confident about then you should 100% % take steps to go there but if there's nothing you can do about the things that you aren't confident in then you just have to accept the things that you're not confident in for what they are for example my whole life growing up I was insecure because I was always the tallest girl in my class and granted I feel like I'm not even that tall I'm 5'10 but I used to be so sad about the fact that I was so tall because I wanted to be like these little cute girlies that are walking around at 52 53 cuz they just look so huggable and cute and squeezable and like like a man could just pick you up and toss you over his shoulder and like me I'm like no one's picking me up no one is picking me up you know like if you try to pick me up I'm GNA scream unfortunately in my growing age of 26 I can't change how tall I am might as well just accept that I am way up here in the sky and learn to like that about myself another thing is maybe this just is because I don't have a raging social life that I just learned how to love being by myself but I could hang out with myself all day and never be bored and or lonely I personally and some people would say that this is controversial but I think that I really am my own best friend because I'm like I I there's no one that I like hanging out with more than myself right I always do what I want to I always have the greatest ideas to do exactly what I want to do and I feel like there's a lot that you can do for yourself if you can learn how to be alone by yourself but not lonely in your own thoughts but I think that could swing for both sides you know because I would say I'm super confident being by myself but something that I'm insecure about on the other on the other side of the spectrum is that I really don't have a raging social life you know so you got to give and take whatever you succeed in you're going to lack in another area and I guess that's just the way life goes my last topic and I swear that this is my last topic I feel like this isn't information that I have to share but now that I know what I know I am willing to share because when I look at myself at 23 and I was looking at this house as a whole and I was thinking wow this is going to be such a great investment this is going to be such a good use of my time this is going to be such a good good use of my savings account 26-year-old Morgan could look at 23-year-old Morgan and tell myself one thing was this was this a good financial decision oh oh not a chance I've seen comments before people being like how the [ __ ] is she paying for this and to that I will tell you I am paying for this from a construction loan that I can at the end of it all add it onto my mortgage so then the two monthly payments just can bind together however I am then so much debt at this point in my life that I could literally scream until my head pops off and if you're looking at me and you're like wow how does this girly pop pay for this I'm wondering the same damn thing you know this isn't me trying to complain because obviously I mean I've never lived at this damn house for the 3 years that I've owned it but one day I will and I'll be super duper grateful however if I could go back in time and spend my money differently would I have done so yes and I think that that level of transparency is okay to tell people you don't have to do you don't you don't got to do all this you really don't you really don't got to do all this people could look at me and be like well you're just stupid and you just got into this whole mess and you bit off more than you could chew and to that I would say yeah you're probably correct 23-year-old me was full of life and ambition and big star stud dreams you know and I thought I could handle everything I thought I could go to school I thought I could run my channel I thought I could build this house and I thought it was all going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy the girls are going to slay the day away you know little did I know a semi truck of humbleness was going to hit me going 55 mph on the freeway and I'm not strapped in I have had it handed to me I've been humbled greatly by life in the past 3 years if you want some realy why this has all been so God damn annoying is because this was never supposed to be the project that it became right like I had some little things that I wanted to change and rearrange but was it ever supposed to be a full gut and remodel of a house no no and that is how I got into a giant Fiasco Little did I know oh once someone tears your house to shreds even if you didn't want them to tear your house to shreds you're going to have to pay to get it put back together if you ever want to live in said house it was just a tumble weed they got bigger and bigger and bigger and have I learned a lot at this house yes have I met a lot of wonderful people at this house yes have I had a lot of memories that I will cherish until the day that I die yes am I also greatly traumatized yes so there was a lot of life to be lived here you know there's a lot of experiences for a house that I've never [ __ ] lived at but would I tell you that this was a good financial decision no no I would not tell you that I would never in a million years tell you that and if I could tell you anything I would tell you to pick a place to live where you're going to feel emotionally stable pick a place to live where you're going to feel emotionally stable please if it's renting if it's buying if it's living with your parents if it's living with a friend just pick a place to live where you are setting yourself up for the highest chance of emotional stability and financial stability you live and you learn you live and you learn life is confusing and life is hard but life is also beautiful and funny and I'm just here to have a good time you know like I think I used to have a lot more oomph in me and maybe I'm going to get my oomph back when I feel a lot more stability but for right now 2023 one more month I'm just trying to I'm just trying to get by right now okay I hope you know that if you feel like no one in your life is rooting for you that I am always 100% rooting for you and I love you so much I am so tired at this point and I hope you enjoy enjoyed my first ever episode of get ready with me to go absolutely [ __ ] nowhere if you like this let me know and I could just do this all the time I really could I I love nothing more in my life and I also love nothing more in my life than this and you and just I hope you have the best Christmas Hanukkah New Year's whatever the hell you want to live laugh love about I hope you have the best rest of the year ever and I love you so much okay that's the end bye I would just like to know my great level of disappointment that I went through all of this didn't even think to put on eyebrows didn't even think about it didn't care wasn't a bother to me did I need eyebrows guess not guess [Music] not

Channel: morgans vlogs

Views: 502,402

Keywords: morgan, Morgans vlogs, Morgan adams, Ryland adams, Morgan Adams vlogs, demo, my house tour, diy, vlogmas, shane, renovations, Morgan house renovations, vlog, competition, family channel, Ryland Shane morgan, christmas, vlogger, Morgan and trinity, grwm, overshare about my life, addressing my weight loss, weight loss, weight loss journey, andrew and garrett, adhd medication, adhd, adhd journey, mental health, assumptions about me

Id: zqKFq6FNPRU

Length: 37min 57sec (2277 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 27 2023