I'm Announcing Pregnancy At Mother In Law's Baby Shower Bc She Did It At My Wedding w/o Permission

i female 24 was married recently to my childhood sweetheart male 24 it was pretty small due to global situation still it was planned well in advance so we didn't cancel just kept it to family and we plan to have a party with everyone else later for some background on my husband his parents had him pretty young 18 and 19 respectively and he has a very close family our wedding reception was quite intimate but we had the traditional speeches planned father of bride best man husband's brother groom it was only the day before that my mother-in-law asked if she could have the mic to say a few words when we sat down to eat and we said that would be great but that she would need to go before my husband stupidly we figured she would talk about us at our wedding so we never asked what she planned to say big mistake she announced that she's expecting a baby she's still pretty young and healthy but it was a huge shock that just completely took over all night what's even worse for me is that i'm also pregnant and we plan to announce it at the wedding but i told my husband to just leave it out of his speech everything felt a bit sour for me after that so after the wedding i didn't speak to my mother-in-law for a few days i got a call from her sister a guest to ask what was up i explained that i felt the attention was taken away from us without our permission i would have said no but still and it was so unfair to spring that on us apparently i ruined my own wedding because i was obviously annoyed about the good news and being totally selfish maybe i was but it was my wedding day that was already ruined by global issue husband is on my side though he clearly feels uncomfortable telling his mum that i get as i don't want to have this argument directly with a pregnant woman the rest of the family is split my side and his because it was such a close family event anyway and we all need some happiness now i'm starting to wonder if i overreacted and spoiled everything am i the idiot not the idiot you never make a personal announcement at a wedding without the couple's knowledge and permission doing that kind of thing is so tacky the tacky side of me wants opie to host a celebration party for mother-in-law and then announce her own pregnancy at that party or announce your pregnancy a mother-in-law's baby shower or something which would be funny we all need some happiness right opie why didn't you tell us sooner well husband and i were going to tell everybody at an event earlier but we didn't want to steal mother-in-law's thunder at our wedding that'd be so rude not the idiot just because your mother-in-law is pregnant doesn't mean she isn't an idiot everyone knows that announcing pregnancy or engagement or anything else significant is totally taboo at a wedding this was not an oversight you should have continued to announce your own baby news anyway that would have diluted her news congratulations on your wedding and your baby news not the idiot i wouldn't bother to tell her about your own pregnancy let her find out from social media or from family gossip if she makes a sting just remind her how she clearly needs to focus on her own pregnancy as she just had to announce it at your wedding let her find out through social media and when she complains explain that you were going to announce it at the wedding but you didn't want to be the kind of idiot who would take attention away from her big announcement at your wedding by making a pregnancy announcement of your own oh my word i mean of course you assumed she would talk about you and your husband during the toast portion of your wedding i cannot believe she announced that of course you're not the idiot she absolutely knew what she was doing by one not telling you the reason she wanted to speak and two speaking in the first place question did she know you were pregnant because then she's a double idiot no she still doesn't know my husband told my parents after the wedding though because he was so angry at his mum why don't you save it don't tell anybody act like you're holding a grudge and avoid all of his family until you finally agree to make up and show grace by coming to her baby shower visibly pregnant not the idiot i'm an event lighting technician i've been at hundreds of weddings running lights in my 17 years or so of doing it only one time have i seen something similar happen i think it was the bride's sister that grabbed the mic unannounced and declared she was pregnant and had gotten engaged she made the bride mad enough she had security escort her out of the building sadly i do not have any follow-up on most of the parties i work but i would assume there were a lot of words in that family the next day i 27 male have a sad and hurt fiance 29 female over a hypothetical situation and need an outside perspective backstory my great-grandmother was the product of an affair between her mother and her boss because he was already married and my great-grandmother was biracial she was never acknowledged it wasn't until her father was on his deathbed his wife had passed before him that he gave her his mother's ring and finally gave her the recognition she always craved she loved that ring and since then it's been a prized possession in the family my aunt was the only girl in the family after my grandmother died and didn't have any children of her own she told me that she would like to continue the tradition of passing this ring along to the next female generation and said that she would hang on to it until i decided to give it someone really special in my life that didn't explicitly mean that i give it to my future wife but my aunt let me know that it was an option fast forward to now and i proposed to my living girlfriend of three years in the past i had considered giving her the ring but decided against it because while i love her she is a bit of an irresponsible airhead it's not a malicious or blatant lack of care but she does have a habit of losing damaging or misplacing things i'd much rather give the ring to a future responsible daughter instead and ended up proposing with a 4 000 ring my girlfriend loved the ring and was so proud of finding a guy who knew what she liked since we were in the early stages my girlfriend was still in the habit of showing it off unfortunately she lost it and when i say lost i mean she accidentally dropped it down the elevator shaft when she showed it off to a co-worker my girlfriend was distraught and was almost too ashamed to tell i told her that while i was upset that i didn't hate her and would get her a replacement she was so grateful and didn't care that the replacement ring was a lot cheaper and happily showed this one off as much as the other one my fiance made a big post then all hell broke loose when a cousin of mine paternal side asked why i didn't just give her the maternal side family ring since it had such great sentimental value my fiance knew about the ring but assumed that my aunt would take it with her to the grave she didn't know that giving it to her was an option and asked about it i tried to say that i would rather give it to our future daughter but she counted that giving it to her didn't mean that our future daughter wouldn't get it later after enough pushing i finally admitted my concerns about potentially losing the ring my fiance was very hurt and while she hasn't said anything directly she is sulking and i've even heard a cry about it her sister calls me an idiot for refusing to give my fiance the ring even though she sometimes makes mistakes am i the idiot edit yes we contacted management about getting the ring from the bottom of the elevator shaft but it couldn't be located my fiance stated that it was dropped when the doors were opening and closing and her co-workers backed up her story dude she did exactly what you thought she would except it could have been the family ring down the elevator shaft not the idiot she already lost an expensive ring i wouldn't trust her with a sentimental family heirloom ring put it away for a future daughter or granddaughter who doesn't inherit your girlfriend's butterfingers exactly it's like babe i'm sorry you kind of did prove my point this is absolutely crazy to me how do you think your argument has any weight at all when you literally threw a 4 000 ring down the drain soon after your fiance gave it to you i was going to say you're wrong for calling your future wife an irresponsible airhead until i read that she dropped a 4 000 ring down an elevator shaft that is some ridiculous comedy movie level shenanigans i get that she's her but i think not the idiot because you were absolutely totally 100 right about what would happen she's likely more hurt about opie being so right that she can't argue back not the idiot your cousin's sister are the cousin definitely should have asked this privately there is no reason to pose a question like that as a facebook comment if not to start drama i was looking for this comment why is no one talking about the troublemaking cousin the ring is not even from the side of the family that cousin belongs to they had absolutely no need to mention opie's other family side heirloom to the new fiancee they'd have known about it as they are cousins but there is no scenario i can think of which needs them to mention it to the fiance the fiancee also doesn't come off looking good she literally lost her engagement ring and is sulking that opie did not give her the family heirloom being upset as soon as she heard it is one thing but sulking for days she's not part of that family yet the ring belongs to the aunt and she has every right to rescind the offer made to op so even if they were married fiance has no right to demand it what an entitled fool she dropped her engagement ring down an elevator shaft and wonders why you don't want to give her a cherished family heirloom not the idiot i mean i'm clumsy as heck and drop things but that's a special kind of unlucky and clumsy hybrid to drop a 4 000 ring down an elevator shaft there's a difference between clumsy and careless my sister and her husband fell on hard times during the global situation and had to put a lot of money into some issues that came up with their house she asked me if i could help them repaint a couple of the affected rooms and i said yes i have experience there and don't mind helping i was due to help next week but last week while she and my niece her daughter were visiting she let nice break our family playstation 5. so what happened sister and niece came over my son was playing the ps5 in the living room i went to grab something my sister asked for when i came back the kids were fighting and my son was upset because the ps5 was broken my sister was standing there watching the whole thing i asked what happened and the kids were talking over each other my sister wasn't saying anything niece said my son wouldn't share and he pulled too hard my son told me he was going to let her play once he got the character safe because he was in the middle of a section she lost it kicked the console over and stomped it with her foot and pulled on the cable really hard my sister just kept saying my son wouldn't let her daughter play and that he should have allowed her to play i told her that that didn't give nice the right to break it she told me it's reckless letting a kid my son's age play she told me niece didn't do it but then niece proceeded to kick it in front of me at which point i said she needed to leave luckily i could get it repaired but it cost me money and my sister just said they didn't need to pay and that it was my fault i told her then that i'm not helping her paint now i'm not giving up my free labor for her after she did nothing while an expensive and hard to get console was broken she told me i couldn't do that and it was me being a petty mean idiot and a bad sister and that i should be more understanding she told me it wasn't her job to supervise the kids and i shouldn't take the fight out on her am i the idiot not the idiot and it was her job to supervise her kid she's lucky you're not telling her she's financially responsible for replacing or fixing the item her child broke during a temper tantrum i wouldn't be going out of my way to provide her free labor either plus the fact that opi's sister said that it's not good for opie's son to be playing games at a young age but then tells opie that her son should have let her daughter play is so hypocritical if it's bad for a kid to be playing video games she should not let her daughter touch the ps5 or expect a kid to play on it either the sister didn't even apologize nor did she sound like she had a hint of remorse sounds like she only goes to op when she needs stuff not the idiot this is such a bad example to set as a parent it's her job to supervise her kid that's your job as a parent really bad parenting you should never let your kid break other people's things what the heck what if it was something irreplaceable not the idiot but you did promise to help her also you should go and five minutes into painting kick a couple of holes in the wall screaming out this color is horrible i hate it then go home getting a ps5 is hard enough and she let her daughter try to destroy it i wouldn't allow them back to my place again they can visit from the yard i'm a mechanic at a fairly large workshop i recently started to use makeup as i found it was boosting my confidence i started with something to cover my eye bags and tried mascara and a few other subtle things surprisingly i didn't get any comments from the other mechanics and everything seemed fine my confidence was skyrocketing because of how large the workshop is we mechanics have little to no contact with customers customers are handled by two ladies working the front desk and we just go out to pick up the cars very rarely we have to talk to customers to figure out the problem i also have not much contact with the front desk ladies as we have different break times and our system is automated so we don't have to talk in person yesterday i was approached by both of them which is very unusual they laid in to me that my makeup is highly unprofessional seems like a customer who had seen me had made a comment about me they were quite rude telling me i needed to skip out on the makeup as it was so unprofessional and they had to deal with the customers all the time so they were affected by it i was stunned as we're usually on friendly terms and them going off at me left me speechless i apologized in the moment but later on i thought about it and i don't want to stop wearing makeup i feel confident with it and i feel like i should be able to put it on on the other hand they are right that they have to deal with customers and i don't want to make it harder edit i forgot important info i am male so what some customer thought you should have opinion about your appearance and talk to the desk ladies about your appearance then the desk ladies corner you and tell you how the customer they think you should look what last time i checked mechanical parts did not react to makeup no matter who has it on that's a hostile work environment go to hr or your boss unbelievable not the idiot not the idiot i imagine these ladies wear makeup to work how about if you criticize them for their choices i'm sure they'd have you written up for disciplinary so why the double standards if some idiot bigger feels they have to complain about what their mechanic looks like their life must be very small not the idiot the ladies are the ones in customer service not you some customers are impossible to please it's their job to know how to deal with the difficult ones if such customers weren't complaining about your fabulousness they'd be complaining about something else hahaha i read this like what and then got to the bottom and went oh well i certainly think you're not the idiot does your employer have any codes against it does it affect how you're doing your job i'm not seeing a lot of problems here outside of a customer just being offended by something they don't like which is not your problem my 27 female sister 31 had been engaged for almost two years with her partner of 10 years last month i reached out to her to ask when she was planning on having her wedding as my partner and i have been talking about marriage and were thinking of getting married in 2021 but don't want to overlap with her special date she mentioned the possibility of this year but was unsure and said she'd speak with her fiance and get back to me well things went south fast she came back to me three days later telling me that she and her partner have decided to split as he wasn't interested in locking down a date and they have been having problems for months i'm worried i caused their breakup but she assures me this was some time coming and she's been feeling really down about things for a while in the space of two weeks she moved out of their shared apartments and now she's staying with friends who live near her workplace until she can start a new lease in may so at this time my partner proposed and we got engaged but now i feel this would be massively insensitive to tell anyone about we haven't told anyone no family or friends yet though my sister did have some knowledge that we were discussing marriage as i told her about us thinking about wedding dates that was before everything blew up so what is an appropriate time to wait before it's safe to announce she seems to be going through the breakup motions right now i.e feeling down and sad about things wondering if she can find a new person be happy again etc i don't want to hurt her feelings and was thinking of waiting for her to bounce back but that could take six plus months would waiting two or three months be enough time or should i just stick it out until she starts dating again hey your sister is fortunate to have you you're being really considerate i would wait two months and approach her first but don't make it seem like you delayed it because of her it might make her feel guilty also you were not the cause of the relationship ending two years of an engagement and no date set i hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is typically not a good sign hey i broke up with my partner the same weekend as my younger sister announced her engagement it was so fine i could be sad for me while being thrilled for her it was actually very affirming i could see the stark contrast between my relationship and theirs which helped me know i was doing the right thing i'd recommend just having a chat with her about it so she knows you're trying to be sensitive then celebrate your happiness first of all don't feel responsible for the breakup if your sister's ex-fiance was pushing back against setting a date it's clear there were many problems there it's better that your sister ends up with someone who enthusiastically wants to be with her rather than marry someone who doesn't seem interested in a future with her i agree with other commenters who suggested maybe approaching your sister privately first however wait a month or two before doing so she just lost her partner of 10 years which must be painful for her good luck

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Id: qSfpF7-gMGs

Length: 18min 26sec (1106 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 29 2021