Ignite 2020 Conference - Sr. Miriam Heidland

welcome the evangelization conference ignite 2020 from the Dominicans st. Mary's Pope's key in Cork [Music] so we're really looking forward to our next guest this evening she's another one of our keynote speakers and her name is sister Miriam Hyland so she's coming to us from the US she comes from German Catholic family and she is an amazing and an inspirational speaker I've heard a lot of people discussing sister Miriam and her inspirational talks and we're so blessed and honored to have her with her here this evening we've had an amazing line-up of speakers but I'm really happy now that we get some female genius and I know that sister Miriam speaks strongly on the authenticity female authenticity and the role of women in the church as well so sister Miriam can you hear me now I can't hear you how are you today great thank you so much for being with us thank you delighted have you here what time is it over there with you in America I know it's I live in the deep south so I live in the far far south and it's in the afternoon here and it's quite a warm warm day so we've seen the end of anything cool so it's actually very warm here in Ireland which is it highly uncommon but we have been inside for the whole day but but it's great to be inside doing this as well we're really blessed so sister Miriam as I said before you came on you are an amazing and an inspirational speaker and what I'm really struck by when I've listened to any of your talks is your prayer you know it's so authentic and it comes straight from your heart the way that you lead and the way that you lead your congregation and prayer I'm hoping a lot of the time when you're leading us in prayer you ask the group to stand at the beginning I'm hoping you won't get me to stand because I might like a back up and this Wibbly stool again because it's not very graceful watching me get on it you look so lovely I won't make you stand out though it's very much so sister Miriam you're an amazing speaker and you have spoken at Steubenville conferences focused conferences you are actually a former Division one athlete which you might speak a little to us later I'm not a terribly athletic person myself so I really admire it and other people definitely you had a radical conversion yourself and your story has been featured on EWTN is the journey home at sea conferences and it's Steubenville conferences the list is so endless you have degree in theology from the Augustine Institute and you really have a heart for mission because I know that you've worked in well then we call them primary schools here what do you call them again in America in elementary schools elementary schools and high schools and you even use that athleticism in coaching volleyball teams and all those amazing things so I know you speak very passionately unforgiveness and healing authentic love and conversion so you had as I was saying an amazing and radical conversion yourself and I heard you speaking before about the role of your own mother and your own relationship with your mother in conversion and I think many of us in Ireland because there's a real tradition in Ireland of like you know Irish mommies kind of really coddling their children probably it really made me think of my own mother and I suppose a lot of us have been created Catholics and have like reversions back into the land and I think you know she used to pray constantly for me I'd say she's probably still praying for me hoping for the conversion to come about but we'll get there someday mom if you're watching so I truly believe that a lasting conversion you know it comes down to the heart of the believer and really believing and experiencing that Jesus that he really does love you you know and we hear it again and again when we go to Mass you know Jesus loves you Jesus loves you you're not orphaned Jesus loves you but it's to take that knowledge into your heart and to really know us and I know that you're going to speak into this a little bit for us this evening so I'm not going to take any take up any more time speaking I know you're going to speak about this topic and at the end if we have time we might just have a little time of question and answer Bush taking delight is rumanian thank you so much thank you thank you so much and I am just delighted to be with all of you I wish I could be with you there in person I think that'd be the best it would be wonderful and I think we could all say that our lives have changed dramatically the last few months and things have happened that we didn't think would happen and perhaps all of us have asked ourselves I know myself have asked ourselves this during this time of what what am I supposed to be doing with this time and what does it mean what does it mean and I was very I travel and speak extensively across the United States on a lot of different topics and I was actually I came home and I had finished a parish mission right as lent began and that night I got home and I was about to leave again the next day for another conference and that was that evening that the events started to be canceled and that was March 7th I think and it was event after event after event after event and within within a month every single conference that I was supposed to be out until August was completely canceled and the Lord spoke a word to me at the very beginning but I just want to offer to you all of you as we kind of start our time together the Lord said to me I'm doing something very important right now and this is very sacred time you will never get back again so I want you to be very attentive to what I'm doing in your heart and I've had good days and bad days probably like a lot of you and just the Lord has revealed a lot in the last couple months and I am just convinced more and more just convinced more and more that as Christ right to celebrate Pentecost that as Christ is living and he's risen and he's a person which means that he is coming right now for you and for me for us because He loves us you know ultimately as Pope Benedict says that you know faith this is not like an assent to a doctrinal kind of ideology we're talking about an encounter with a person a person who is alive and a person who loves us and a person who wants to be known a person who has a heart a sacred heart and he offered and speaks about the heart and that's what I'm gonna talk about today just to offer this to you so what I'd like to do that's ok with you I'm just gonna ask you to close your eyes just for a second and just to ask the Holy Spirit just Holy Spirit I just asked right now that you wouldn't quiet my heart quiet our hearts and what I asked you would speak to me right now but today you speak a word to me in my heart and Jesus I pray that you would cover us with your precious blood during this time I pray that you would melt our hearts soften our hearts any place that our hearts are hard or afraid in the areas of resistance that we have I pray Jesus that your precious blood would cover us there and protect us and lord I pray that you would encounter each one of us during this time that beyond anything I could possibly say Lord that every single person encounters you even in just a small way we ask our mother Mary our momma the woman who is all beautiful to pray for us to intercede for us to protect us during this time and we just make this prayer through Christ our Lord amen I find the heart very interesting and when you think about all the things that Jesus says about the heart he says many things about the heart so he says things like this where your treasure is there also is your heart from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks he talks about forgiving your brother from the heart blessed are the pure of heart right for they shall see God and then he says do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid and it's very interesting that the Lord speaks about the heart when he could he could have spoke about the intellect he could speak about the will but he speaks about the heart because the heart speaks to the very center of the person and so when we talk about conversion we talk about you know the word at the etymology of the word the Latin word meat to turn and use a turning to turn away from or turn towards something it's a it's a repentance it's a changing of direction so when the Lord's inviting us to conversion what is doing he's inviting us to turn toward him to turn away from the things that make us less human the things that break us the the lies we believe about ourselves and other people that all the areas of our life that you know has disorder in it that we actively engage in he's actually planting himself right there in those places and he's saying look at me you know look at me and if you ever been in a grocery store and you've ever seen a little child have a total meltdown they start there they start to cry they start to wail I mean it's just complete and total meltdown many times what happens is the mom will kneel down and she'll say look at me look at me like look at me look at look at mama I want to tell you something just look at me and she'll be okay just take a deep breath you know when sometimes the child she's gonna regulate the child's kind of emotional system and just say look at mama you're okay you know you're okay and that's what the Lord continually does to us he comes and he says look look at me look at look at my face and I'm so i one of the my favorite things about Christ one of my favorite things about him is that he's so incredibly beautiful so incredibly beautiful so radiant is so captivating and I know that when he walked this earth that's why people who had eyes to see Annie used to care we're just amazed at him his beauty his radiance he's so incredibly beautiful and during the year of Mercy when Pope Francis declared a year of mercy a few years ago he wrote a letter for the year of mercy and the first thing that he said in that letter it's a very small letter the first sentence that he said was that Jesus Christ is the face of the father's mercy he's the face of the father's mercy that mercy has a face that mercy is a none emulous force in the universe the mercy isit's a person incarnate person who comes you know in in Word and in deed and he comes in power and he comes and authority and he's human and divine and he comes to save us and this is incredibly good news it means that you and I aren't left alone and it's true like Mary was saying you know we hear a lot were that you know people say oh jesus loves you and we're not orphans and you know I I know myself even sometimes it just kind of reverberates into our minds and kind of goes out but then every single one of us I think in the deep times asks ourselves the question you know am I really loved am I really lovable and if anybody knew me if anybody knew the depth of my heart if anybody knew what was within would they still love me would they still love me and isn't that kind of why sometimes you know people do what they do on social media really it's a desire of wanting to be known and wanting to be seen and there's all kinds of variations of that but really it's the human person saying do you see me do you me and we had this deep desire for that so when the Lord is appealing to our hearts he's not appealing just to this surface level Jesus never works at the surface level he encounters us at the surface level and you see that throughout the Gospels like when he encounters the disciples on the road to Emmaus he encounters them right there where they're going they're going the wrong way he encounters them right there and then he starts to asks like what do you what are you guys talking about along the way it's just so great he doesn't jump in the first thing he says in the Gospel of John is it's a question he asked the disciples what are you looking for what are you looking for so he comes into our lives he comes into your life wherever you're watching this right now he's coming into your life as you are right now and he comes at the surface level but he always speaks to the heart and when you think about the heart I want to talk about at the very beginning of this time together what does it mean when we talk about the heart because we see all kind of really scary memes on Instagram that say things like just following her you know which can be really bad advice if it's not tethered to your intellect in your will can I just say that right now okay so when we talk about it's from the heart we're not talking about kind of a follow whatever emotion is strong you know just do whatever you feel like doing that's not what we're talking about we're talking about something much deeper affect emotion is involved but we're talking about something much deeper and it this is beautiful in the Catechism and the Catechism of the Catholic Church number 25 63 it says this about the heart so we're talking about the biblical definition of the heart it says the heart is the dwelling place where I am it's where I live the heart is our hidden center beyond the grasp of our reason or of others only the Spirit of God can fathom the human heart and know it fully the heart is the place of decision deeper than our psychic drives it is the place of truth where we choose life or death it is the place of encounter and because as image of God we live in relation it is the place of covenant and this is important because the heart is the center of the human person it's where you know that you know that you know it's whether you can say all you want to say but it's where you live from like we know what we believe by how we live our lives it's so it's where we live no matter what we say it reveals that's why Jesus is from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks is the deep place where the Lord dwells where the Spirit dwells that even I don't understand at times but the Lord is there and it's where he makes my dear friends in our baptism he makes a covenant with us a covenant is very different than a contract a contract is an exchange of goods so if you need work done on your house a construction worker will come and they'll assess whatever you need done they'll give you a bid they'll write their name on it and they'll say you pay me this much money I'll come next week and fix your house and you do that and once that's finished you shake hands and then you part ways think they don't come over for dinner the next night it's like it's over that relationship is over right but a covenant is different than the contract this is my marriage is a covenant a covenant is not an exchange of goods a covenant is an exchange of people a covenant says I am yours and you are mine forever forever and it's made with the heart it's why when a man and a woman get married they're asked questions have you come on your own free wall have you come of your own accord have you come you know with open hearts love is not coerced jesus never coerces anybody into a conversion any into attorney he invites he never compels he never forces he's so respectful of us and you see this covenant that's made that we we belong to him that at that moment an indelible mark is placed upon your soul forever marking you as belonging to God forever marking you as his his own delight he will never leave you he will never forsake you there is nothing you could do in your life or nothing that could have ever been done to you in your life that will ever remove the mark that indelible mark of belonging to God of being in covenant with him and he dwells with he dwells within us and this is L I know this for it is like an elementary catechism lesson that I'm giving right now this foundational reality affects everything about our life everything and you and I know very deeply when we talk about the heart of somebody if you think of the person you love the most or the people that you love the most and they're people that perhaps you've known for a long time and maybe it's your spouse or it's your family or some really good friends and you guys can sit together you can laugh together you can cry it together you can waste time together just being in the presence of one another a place where you feel at home where you let your guard down and they do they know your story and they know your crazy family and they know what you've done and they just love you and there's something so healing about that kind of love that kind of love that speaks from the heart and we all know other relationships that we have in our life and sometimes they're the same exact relationships but we don't have the same experience of that where hearts are not open and they're not offered and maybe there's a lot of damage and there's a lot of addiction there's a lot of brokenness there's a lot of hard heartedness I think we all have people in our life I know I do as well people that you just absolutely delight in and you just want to know them a little bit more but for whatever reason they won't share their heart with you and you have to honor that that people's hearts are sacred that's a sacred garden and you can't force your way in there but doesn't it make you just a little sad I didn't know like myself oh my gosh you're just so amazing I wish I knew you just a little bit more I I wish you felt safe enough for whatever reason I wish you felt safe enough just to share because I love you like I would love to I would love to receive you there and that is exactly how Christ in his his graciousness comes to us and he never forces us and this is what we talk about the power of conversion because people look at us as believers they look at us as believers and whether they realize it or not they want to look at our lives and they say do you live any different from anybody else does Christ coming and suffering and dying and rising again does that make a difference in our life does the coming of the holy spirit which is about to be celebrated tomorrow does that make any difference in our life do we live any differently and all of us in our hearts we have a variation of things in our hearts and the Lord comes in all those places you know when we talk about baptism as a first conversion right it eradicate sin it heals the soul it exercises darkness it brings the person into communion we talk about it as a first conversion the rest of our lives is what the Catechism calls conversion that we're all on I'm on myself I'm on myself every single day of asking Jesus to come into the deep places in my heart where heart speaks to heart because ultimately that's what we want when we have a relationship with somebody that's why we want to encounter their hearts we want to encounter them as a person as the center of who they are and you know this actually very well because in Catholicism we have what we call you know a devotion to the Sacred Heart right a devotion to the Immaculate Heart we have First Friday devotions you know why it's called devotions a devotion is a sign of affection notice that it's not called First Friday commitments it's first right at devotions and I have a very dear friend who's a mentor of mine it's just a wonderful wonderful man and he his wife remarried a long time and he's been a marriage and Family Therapist for a long time and just a wonderful mentor does somebody have learned I'm an immense amount from about healing but he tells this story that when he was in his thirties with his wife they started to have a lot of marital problems and here he is a marriage and family therapist and he and his wife are on the brink of divorce and he wanted to honor you know the commitment that he made to her he wanted to honor the church but he didn't see a way out of their marriage it was so broken he didn't see a way out they were at an impasse and he went to a retreat one weekend and he really felt the Lord's telling him some of the areas of his own heart that needed to be repented of and needed to be healed and that he needed to remain faithful that this is what the Lord was asking that they had a valid marriage and he needed to remain faithful so he said this changed his life he went home to his wife and he said to his wife look I you know was on retreat this weekend and you know I made a commitment to you and I'm not gonna divorce you I made a commitment to you and I will remain faithful to my commitment the rest of our lives and she looked at him and she said I don't want your commitment I want your devotion and he said for him right there that changed everything because you and I mean need commitments we need an impetus to turn to change but ultimately what drives a commitment at the deepest level is devotion and effect right where the Lord is coming in our hearts and in our souls and the reason why a lot of times we know a lot of times we really have struggles I think in this area of of conversion of these areas of hardness of heart or these areas of lukewarmness it's just parts of our hearts that are hurting that are afraid and we have all we all have stories we're all born into stories you know you heard a little bit of my story before I was a Division one athlete and played volleyball in college and they wanted to work for a sports anchor I be a sports anchor and worked for a news network and I I had a lot of plans for my life and I thought what my life would look like and I was very good at living a very duplicitous life because at that time as a young woman that was 25 years ago at that time as a young woman you know I had all these dreams and I'd hopes and I managed my image very carefully but I also had another side of my life that was incredibly broken and if you've ever been to a recovery meeting a 12-step meeting one of the best sayings and those meetings is this we're only as sick as our secrets we're only as sick as our secrets and I had a lot of Secrets I was in an addict I was a full-blown alcoholic bottom I was the teenager I started drinking at 12 years old I had a lot of trauma sexual abuse trauma I was conceived out of wedlock given up for adoption was in a foster home like I just had a lot a lot a lot of trauma a lot of promiscuity a lot of brokenness a lot of clinical depression and if you would have asked me at the time how I was doing I would have looked you in the eye and told you I'm fine I'm fine I don't have I don't have any problems and I didn't need God in my life I was afraid of God I didn't understand like and especially when the when you delve into these dark areas you talk about wondering if anybody would ever love you there were so many times I would wake up in the morning after some horrendously horrendously dysfunctional evening and just hating myself thinking how could God how could God love anybody like me and the conversion this was so slow and start and it just still unfolds to this very day I know I've been a nun now I've been in my religious community over 22 years I'm about to be professed 18 years is this winter and this conversion that takes place every single day started with the Lord and his kindness sending somebody to me who was already living a life of conversion and this is why I believed to my dying day I will speak about the power of personal witness because the most gospel you and I will ever preach is how we live our day-to-day life it's how we live our lives and God brought a Catholic priest until my life my mother had been praying for me for a long time which I didn't know that until later I'll tell you that at the very end but God brought a Catholic priest into my life it's one of the reasons why I love the priesthood it's one yes it just changes the destiny of so many and that priest was a man who totally loved Christ was so sold out for Christ you know Saints aren't weird they're not like odd people they're captivating he was so holy just so in level with God and he was not perfect he certainly had his own stories on struggles but he was funny and down-to-earth and he told me the truth whether I wanted to hear it or not I mean the man was just radiant his intimacy with Christ the covenant that I am yours in your mind forever Father live that out so deeply there was a palpable experience of a tangible reality of Jesus Christ whenever he would come into a room and that kind of holiness can't be faked it can't be faked and I remembering 21 years old and like I said a full-blown alcoholic well into addiction to lust all kinds of different things and I remember looking at him one day saying father like I don't know what's happening here like I don't know what this is like what's radiating from you I don't know what that is but I want that I want that and it was a long journey of meeting the person who had changed father's life and that's a man named Jesus Christ you know and that's the conversion of our hearts and it doesn't happen through having our one life over here and one life over here and one life over here it happens to the holiness holiness is actually the wholeness the integration of the human person Jesus Christ is the man is Harry Irenaeus says who's fully alive he's fully integrated he's fully alive he is the desire of all of our souls he is life fully lived and you just see how he goes into people's as he comes to earth he comes naked and he comes vulnerable Jesus Christ lives with no self defense mechanisms no self-righteousness no self justification he comes as he is and he reveals the face of the Father and I remember come years ago I was on a silent retreat with a lovely Jesuit priest and we were talking about this very thing about how Christ comes naked and vulnerable he comes into the world naked and vulnerable and he leaves the world naked and vulnerable and he lived that way in various capacities entire life like you know like we said he has no there's no self-righteousness what you see is what you get and he said sister Miriam he looked at me as a sister Miriam Jesus Christ is teaching you here what it means to be human he's teaching you how to be human so in our journeys my dear friends all of our hearts all of our souls every facet of our heart is an invitation to the Lord to come he wants to encounter us there there is not a place of your heart that he's not interested in not a part of her life that he doesn't tend to that he doesn't care for and he's coming not just theoretically for those people over there who have themselves together who will come from a different kind of family no he's coming he's coming to you and to me and he's already there and we know that's true because we know that God lives outside of time he lives what we call Kairos right the present moment the fullness of now the eternal now and because he lives in the internal now means he's present every moment so Christ we live in chronological time by this this conversion of heart the power this conversion is conversion to from the center of our souls where the Lord encounters us in these deep places our conversion happens in chronological time because we live in Chronos and our lives unfold moment by moment by moment by moment and in an hour from now whatever time it is when you're watching this you'll be able to look back at your watch and sail an hour ago I was doing this and then tomorrow well will just say 24 hours ago we were doing this you can think back on your life when you were five you know Jesus is present at every single moment he's present to you now as you watch this he is exactly the same present to you as you were when you were five he is also present to you as you will be when you to leave Chronos and enter into Kairos the eternal now of God he sees you now which means that there is nothing nothing nothing that has ever happened to you that God cannot heal and bring into communing with himself there's nothing your you've ever done that can't be forgiven there's no part of your heart that can't be redeemed there's no dream that's too big for the Lord he comes into these places and you know what he shows this I love this he you know we cuz we talk about our hearts and you know we speak about like the hardness of our hearts and the Ezekiel says I'm gonna give you a new heart you have a stony heart I'm gonna give you a new heart and it's really beautiful because also in the Catechism when it talks about conversion is talking about actually the sacrament of reconciliation of confession which is a healing sacrament which heals our souls it says this it says the human heart number 14 32 in the Catechism it says the human heart is heavy and hardened and God must give man a new heart conversion is the first is first of all a work of the grace of God who makes our hearts return to him where we say restore us unto thyself O Lord that we may be restored and he gives us the strength to begin anew so this is not you and I trying to muster up some sort of courage or just you know get her done I'm we have to cooperate with God's grace and I mean I love sports analogies and that's very true you have to give up yourself on the field or on the pitch or wherever you are you have to give up yourself you have to allow yourself to be transformed by the exercise and it is the same way in the spiritual life we have to allow ourselves to be transformed but God begins the journey and he gives us the strength to continue so there is always hope there's always hope and I was thinking a lot I was thinking a lot about st. Peter which is really gonna be manifest tomorrow as we celebrate Pentecost but I was thinking of st. Peter and you look at the journey of Peter who's a real person I'm not sure if you've seen recently the chosen series there's a group in America that released like an eight eight episode like 30 minutes each of Christ it's so well done I'm always a little skeptical kind of like a what's that gonna be like it is so well done and I love the character of Peter he's just so tempestuous and just kind of impulsive and just out there and you're like you know that's exactly Halloween how he was but you see the initial call the initial conversion right where Jesus comes to him as a fisherman and has some catch a massive fish and what does Peter meals Dennis's depart from you Lord I'm a sinful man and you see that repentance and Jesus calls him to fall and Peter follows him what happens he makes a confession of faith he's called the rock he's he says you know look to who to whom will we go you have the words of eternal life we've come to believe that you are the Christ and then what happens like all of us the Apostles are so great they're just like all of us at the time they make big promises to the Lord and we know that Peter promises that you know at the Last Supper that he healed that he'll go and he'll die we all die with you Lord like we're in it like you know right or die you know and I love Jesus cuz he's just so kind and he knows Peter and if this is very kind like this forewarning of knowing see knowing his heart Peter didn't know that about himself yet and you and I'd find out a lot of things about ourselves because we don't know ourselves fully that's why in got him asbestos is that Jesus Christ reveals us to ourselves he makes our supreme calling clear and he reveals us to ourselves we are a mystery unto ourselves we've all had that moment where we say something as is coming out of your mouth you're like I can't believe I'm about to say this and then you say like well you can't believe I just said that you know I cannot I can't believe I just said that and we're surprised at times because we learn things about ourselves and it's so gracious Peter didn't know Peter didn't know his blind spots Peter didn't know his fear he didn't know his weak he didn't know that he was about to go down a really difficult path and Jesus and his kindness looks at Peter not to chide him but he just says oh really you'll die with me I'm gonna tell you Peter that tonight before the crows you're gonna deny me three times and I'm sure Peter like all of us the times were like oh no I would never do that I would never do that and then what happens it's just such a great just such a great lesson of the human heart and the restoration of the human heart because as we know he's standing around a charcoal fire trying to keep warm like all of us and our lives are trying to quote-unquote keep warm we keep warm in our sin we keep warm in our addiction we keep warm and our hardness of heart or our descent from the truth like it's the funny how we just trying to keep warm and there he is Peter keeping warm by a fire and people start to ask him and the very thing manifest and he's afraid like in that moment like all of us at times fear takes over he's like I don't I don't know him like it gets really real really quickly he's like I don't know him and it's so beautiful because at that moment when he denies sin time's the crows and in the Gospel of Luke Luke has Jesus looking at Peter he turns and he looks at him and it says Peter remembered Peter remembered he remembered I promised that I wasn't gonna do that like and hey can I just say haven't we all had those experiences where I know myself as an addict many times I was like okay I'm not gonna do that anymore I'm not gonna do that anymore or even our relationships with people if you if you struggle with somebody in your family and then you guys kind of have a big blowup and you say to yourself okay when I see them again I'm not going to talk to them like that you know or if you're a mama and you're at home with your kids and okay I'm not gonna yell at my kids for the third time this morning and what happens you end up yelling at your kids for the third time this morning and you remember and those are areas of such shame for us where we just say God what's wrong with me and Peter went out and he wept bitterly bitterly we have to know this story because we all do we all know this story and what happens Jesus is crucified it's more horrific they could possibly imagine and then it's over they think it is over because they don't I don't understand yet they didn't have the faith like their faith wasn't fully and you know it like implanted with him and where they could choose to believe that I could just see that kind of the defect of faith were they they wanted to believe and they heard him say it but for like all of us we had these areas of hardness of heart and I could just imagine for Peter how devastating that would have been like the last thing the last thing that he ever sees of Christ before he runs away and fear is it him denying I mean I could just imagine he probably felt sick sick inside just sick and then what happens on Easter Sunday the resurrection the news comes what that Christ he's not there he's he's not he's no longer in the tomb he's not there and I bet for Peter you know you think of this the ways they would have received that they would have been like that's not funny like don't don't do that's not funny don't do that like I don't that's like so beyond your even comprehension of that and he and John run to the tomb and Peter goes in and you could just imagine just like what they're trying to wrestle with and Jesus comes to them and this is beautiful because this is what the Lord does through Christ through his apostolic successors the church is always coming to people to as a ministry of st. Paul's as a records to reconcile is to bring together eyelash to eyelash again and this ministry of reconciliation is so what does Jesus do just like the same thing he does for Peter and the Apostles he does for you and me he approaches us seeking to bring us back into communion and he does that with Peter and you want to know how attentive the Lord is to Peter is that he sets up that whole scene again with fish and abundance of fish when he couldn't catch any and a charcoal fire and it's like Jesus saying Peter look at me look at me cuz I want to heal you I want you to know that no matter what you've done it's not gonna change the call in your life it's not gonna change my love for you I want you to look at me and he just heard this reading recently Simon son of John do you love me Peter Cyclery and I will love you and he reaffirms his mission feed my lambs feed my sheep and the third time as we know he says I'm a son of John do you love me at that point I'm sure Peters just overwhelm he's like and I could imagine maybe but he didn't look at the Lord before but that finally time he looks at the Lord is like Lord you you know I love you like you know like even though I'm really uh makes me just even though I'm really frail and I fail a lot like I love you I love you is it that threefold confession where the Lord just completely you know bring envelops him in his love and he reaffirms his ministry and he just sets his heart upon him and he heals Peter it's in front of other people it's this massive healing that happens in that journey where Peter had a conversion experience of a healing of shame a healing of isolation a healing of sin through the face of the one who came just for him that is how conversion works it's allowing the Lord to come to us my dear friends in these places and being one to speak out the areas that we don't love the Lord is speak out arson to ask for forgiveness to ask for repentance to allow the Lord to see all of it and to be open to that where he comes and he brings us into communion with himself just a couple last thoughts here but I don't know if here I feel like father Jacques Phillipe I love father Jacques Phillipe and he's a renowned world renowned retreat master and he writes tons and tons of his books are wonderful but he had this beautiful quote that I want to read to you and it's it's really fitting for our talk today and it's true he says only intimate contact with the Heart of Jesus can heal the hardness of the human heart right only intimate contact with the Heart of Jesus can heal the hardness of the human heart it's this intimacy here so if I were to ask you just right now when you look into your heart when you look into the center right what do you what do you find there even now I guess you're listening you heard a lot the last you know 30 minutes or so but what's what's stirring in your heart right well maybe it's an area of shame in your life or maybe it's an area where you have a deep desire a deep longing maybe it's an area of your life where you're saying to yourself I just feel stuck and I don't know I don't know how to get beyond this we have an area of unforgiveness in your life where you've somebody has hurt you deeply and it just can't get past it and maybe you've been trying for a long time I don't know all of us have these very sacred places of our hearts and sometimes what we do is you know we want to run away there we want to just pretend you know like I wanted to pretend so many years ago I'm fine this is fine and we are not fine and that's okay and that's okay where's your heart hard you know where is that longing for an encounter with the Lord are there are there parts of your hearts are there areas of sin in your life that need to be confessed is time I go to confession you know when you can when we can again you know after this is over is what's happening there because like even now and the Lord is he so he's awaiting us he's tenderly awaiting us he's already there so this power of conversion my dear friends is something that it comes along with understanding of who Christ is it's an intellectual growth it's a growth of our will it's an ordering of our intellect and our will it's a healing of our effect it's a healing of our emotions it's a healing of our affections so we become the fully who God is calling us to be so that we're not living these disintegrated lives and part of the brokenness that you see in the church and part of the deep wounds caused by ministers in the church is a deep area of complete and total shattering of the human person and a brokenness of the human person where there are a massive massive wounds that have not been attended to and there's a wonderful saying and healing circles that says this suffering that is not transformed is transmitted suffering but is not transformed is transmitted and so what the Lord is desiring to do for each one of us is he's desiring to come into these places is to transform them my friends so we are not perpetuating suffering we are not you know living their lives heart of heart and in disbelief and unbelief that he comes to give us a new heart even now right even now and as the Holy Spirit comes to melt what is frozen and to warm what is chill and to bring wisdom and truth and light and comfort right and conversion to us may it be so may it be so maybe the Holy Spirit come upon each one of us in a very powerful way this Pentecost to bring us to conversion the turning around to the face of the one who loves us the face the gaze that never leaves the gaze that never leaves so maybe we could just pray just for a little bit if that's okay how about we do that so Jesus we thank you I just ask Jesus that for each one of us right now that you would just bring to mine one part of our heart that you want to that you want to minister to right now just give us the courage to face that part what is that is it a secret that hasn't been told is it a relationship is it a fear is it what is that part and I just want to invite you my dear friends if you could imagine with your eyes closed just holding that part of your heart in your life right in your hands and you kind of look at it in front of you so if you could imagine yourself looking at that part of your heart and and maybe that's hard for us maybe some of us have never done that before that's okay I just want you to know that Jesus is not ashamed but if you were to hold that part of your heart out in front of you and just look at it what is it like to look at it and what does it feel like and as you hold that part out in front of you if it's okay with you Jesus would just like to come near to you now and he will come as near as you like or as far away as you like it's completely up to you he's very respectful of you but his desire will be to come close to you and he would like to see what's in your hands and you noticed as he looks at you his face is one of immense kindness he's not embarrassed he's not ashamed he's not in a hurry he's not irritated it's just so incredibly kind and his desire is to heal you and I just want to invite Jesus right now for each one of us just to speak a word to us about that part of our life that part of our heart Jesus what do you want us to know about this part of our heart and your love for us here what do you want us to know about this part of our heart and your love for us here I just want to invite you my dear friends what would you like to say to Jesus in response what would you like him to know about this part of your heart and about this part of your life and if you're willing and this might seem kind of scary for some of us but if you're willing the hands of the king or the hands of a healer if you're willing would you allow Jesus just to very gently reach into your hands with his sacred and pierced hands and just to take that from you and for some of us that can be seem scary we don't want to in our life but we don't know what to do without it but maybe could you today just take one more step and just ask the Lord if he'd be willing he would love to do that just to gently reach out and to take that from you and he wants to bear it with you and he wants to live with you there in this place to bring you into communion and he's just gonna take that from me when he's gonna place it in his own pierced heart because he cares for you and this matters to you so it matters to him and if you're willing would you let him place his healing hand on your heart now I just allow him to bless you just to bring you peace where he speaks the truth to you in love and his heart is for you and your home is there within his heart and Jesus I ask that you would seal this time I pray that you would give us new grace to turn toward you in all the places of our heart that you would set us to be fully and radiantly and vibrantly alive in your love just pray for hope to be poured out upon us for a deep spirit of joy Lord knowing that when we turn to you you will make all things right and we think you learn and we praise you and I just pray a special blessing I want everybody watching right now just pray for a healing of hearts a healing of marriages healing from addiction healing from any areas of unbelief or disbelief just pray for an outpouring Lord of a tangible experience of your love for each person right now and we think you'll really be a seal name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Spirit thank you so so much sister Miriam I almost don't want to speak because I don't want to ruin the peace of that moment that was amazing you truly are as your Twitter name suggests one groovy nun oh is that is that your Twitter feed it is yeah it is yeah it's very good it's thank you yes that was amazing I just wanted to pick up and something that you said because it made me think of something and you were saying about all those memes that you see about follow your heart you know and it kind of reminds me of that phrase you live your own truth or yes do your own truth and it's a statement you do yeah a very personal and that causes me a little bit of frustration when I hear it because you know as Catholics we believe that there is one truth and we believe in that and how can there be all these multiple truths but it just made me think of that as well so that was such a profound talk there are so many things that we could discuss I know there's been lots of questions coming in so we might have time just to go through one or two of those questions if that's a great can be delighted yes thanks again sister so there was a question there saying how does sin affect our capacity for conversion of heart mm-hmm how does then well sin wounds us you notice in aurelius comes from an archery determining to miss the mark so every sin that we commit actually it wounds us and it makes us you know it's like weakens the soul if you think of like a wound so for example your soldier in battle every wound you sustain makes you weaker and weaker and what it does is it also because of sin and because of brokenness it allows for deeper areas of hardness apart in our life because sin causes all kinds of reverberations in our life and so it's many times in the places that we have deeply held sin that we have some of the deepest self defense mechanisms also though because of the wounds that are there as well which is why the continual the continual looking at the landscape of the garden of our soul and a continual practice of sacramental confession is going to do wonders and allowing us to pursue a life with Christ because that's what sin does sin and mortal sin you know cuts off the community not on God's end but on ours it's us saying like I don't want to be in communion with you it cuts off the grace which is very serious it's just it completely atrophies the soul and kills the soul in that regard like the life of grace the soul and so we want to be able to be people that are fully alive we want that in every other area of our life so we can't ultimately we have to decide and you know like like Jesus talks to the the paralytic man it's like do you want to be well like do you want to be well and sometimes we do sometimes we don't so there's a mix of things but we really want to be very sure that we are not living with areas that all of us sin right but we're not living of areas if some are not making friends with sin in our life and when we're aware of it that we are repenting of a going to confession form when we can because that will do miracles it's just such a healing sacrament heals the soul so yeah thank God thank you so much sister and I think this question I also had this thought as well during your talk you were saying that as people of faith you know how are we different you know how do we differ from other how do people know our faith when they meet us and how I think do we avoid you know be preachy you know and I know they often say it's by your works and by the way you live but you know how can we avoid and how can we avoid I'm afraid to say this word because I could say it wrong proselytizing do this yes that's right yeah how do we avoid doing this you know and be authentic in the way that we're sharing our faith with other people in a practical sense mm-hmm that's a great question and first and foremost it has to be something that's serious in our own lives and so I have to be living a life with Christ really and not like I have to go to a certain place to be able to evangelize but people are gonna look like they're gonna look at my life first and foremost is what I'm saying and what I'm doing is it mostly synonymous because all of us are gonna have breaches and that nobody's perfect we're gonna say one thing it like Saint Paul says but it is my life you know congruent with the message that I'm preaching the thing is is that what we're talking about is what Vangelis ation is accompanying somebody on the road to an encounter with Christ and really the model for that really is the disciples on the road to Emmaus where Jesus comes into their life as they are he walks the wrong way with them I mean notice that he could have said hey what are you doing why are you doing this don't you and he walks the wrong way with them and says what what's going on in your heart and they say are you the only one who doesn't know what sorts of things have happened and it's so great because Jesus very funny he's like oh really like what sorts of things just such a great you know so us coming into people's lives not is better than but of somebody we've encountered somebody who's who's made a difference in our lives and here's what the Lord has done for me like you know here's here's my experience in Lord here's what the Lord has done for me here is the richness of what the church is taught over the years one of the best things I love about being Catholic is that it makes sense Christianity is rational God is rational we are never asked to believe anything contra reason it's Supra many times as super it's above but it's not contra so Christianity is rational it makes sense it's beautiful it hasn't ordered to it it challenges us yes because love is challenging as it should be and it converts so I think us understanding of that really a posture of humility of saying and here's what the Lord has done in my life like and here's where I'm on the journey with him and here's the beauty that I found and then you offer it to the person and so we have to be intellectually astute about our faith our faith is very beautiful so we must know what that shirt teaches and why she does and if we don't know something we should be like I don't know that but I'll get back to you like I don't know but I'm gonna tell you that avoids I think once we start pontificating in a sense of I'm standing on my soapbox I'm gonna tell you how to live your life thank you very much that is so off-putting none of us like that and that really comes from a just a known posture of own self fear like when have that sphere that does that verses like saying I don't have my all my stuff together but I'm on the journey and and here's you know here's something you might want to consider and it's it's amazing how that was little seeds can often plant like huge plants in the hearts of others and I think it's so important to be reminded as well that what we believe is reasonable you know what we believe is yet in truth and you know because sometimes we can feel like we're defending something because I suppose secular society has it's convincing people so much that is muting that truth so much in the everyday culture that we've started to feel like we're defending something that's totally ridiculous because people have made it seem that way like devotion and you know following the Lord is radical now you know it's like you need to nearly come out of the closet as a Catholic these days that's what I find anyway in everyday life like if I tell someone that I'm coming to a conference like this they almost can't believe it you know well they can because I grated evangelist that's brilliant so another question that someone had was just um you've a beautiful symbol on your house Kappa oh yes yeah and what does that mean what's the meaning behind that yes this is a symbol of my religious community so I belong to the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity and this is a symbol of the Trinity so it's Father Son and Holy Spirit so three persons in one God and so this is a scab though that we receive on our perpetual vows and so it has the mmm Laura community on it yeah so we wear that I actually can't believe you said how long did you say that you have been a sister for I've been in my community 22 years and I'm about to celebrate 18 years of profession yeah oh my goodness I you look younger than me oh very kind yeah I'll have to take it up that's excellent so someone else asked and it's an excellent question how do you make choices for what's ahead and for your future mm-hmm well I try I mean my heart is asking the Lord Lord open the doors you want opened and shut the doors you don't want opened and listening very intently to the desires that I have in my heart you know because the Lord says if you know if you give your desires to me I'm all good you your desires you trust in that trust in me follow me some very attentive to like what's working in my life what's happening and also what are the doors that God opens in my life I also have the blessing of having a religious superior who you know makes things you know very clear for me but just kind of even notice things say Oh for over the years so say I've been traveling full-time for a long time giving talks I used to speak extensively to teens that's how it started out but as I've grown as a person and just as my the heart with what the Lord is doing in my heart I do a lot more events for adults like healing ministry and things like that talks about conversion and things like that I do a lot of work with priests I love the priesthood I really believe the healing of the priests it is ground zero for restoration of the church so healing retreats for priests and things like that so I think being a very attentive here - what's stirring in your heart and what are the doors that God seems to be opening in your life all right and then just take the next right step and it's great to talk to somebody a wise person on the journey that can help us a spiritual director or somebody that you know if you're discerning something and saying hey I really have a desire to you know work with conformation with teens and you know what's happening there and those are really good things - to investigate but yeah just being attentive to what is in and what the Lord's doing yeah and what would you say to someone who's making a decision and I suppose a decision between two goods you know two good things and trying to discern which is the correct thing to do because often I think we can be crippled and deserve and we can be discerning to death you know yes and you know to make that just to make that decision what advice would you give to someone mm-hmm this great movie can be paralyzed by fear I think is to take two things you know like saying nations have oil it talks about that and looking at them and seeing you know because ultimately it's what's best for you not just what's best in general but what's best for you and it's two good things it's not between good and evil but even looking at them saying what are the pros and cons of each when I see myself making this decision what stirs within my heart you know what what's at the deeper interior peace is is there any absence of peace there is there any fear there just to be very honest of what's happening and then make a decision sometimes it's just like we have to you know whether that's a come and see at a convent or in the seminary or it's you know starting to date somebody that you know just ask the person on a date and just see what happens or it's a job opportunity if it looks good and it seems like the path is clear say yes and just see what happens i we can endlessly discern and get it stuck in paralyzing fear and I think people that know us really well can also help us in that regard as well because they can often bring things out of us that we don't see ourselves and that can help us on that journey as well but sometimes you know what when the doors are open and we've just earned it and there's peace just take the next right step forward and see what happens yeah yeah that's very true so there's just another question here about sorry yeah so how do you think that the Lord brought about the encounter with the priest that you mesh which radiated Christ and how can how can we have to have an encounter with the Living Christ how can as lay faithful and as well how can we have that encounter with the Living Christ what kind of practical ways are suppose could we have that it develop that encounter because just in Ireland we this has been mentioned throughout the day within Ireland we have a great avulsion of faith here but sometimes discussions on that that intimacy and the heart have been a little bit absent you know so it's something were really growing in and developing now but what would you recommend in developing that personal intimacy with with Jesus I think asking him for it yeah guys first it's very simple like Jesus I I want to encounter you I want to encounter you and I'm just I have to make prayer you know prayer is the foundation of our soul prayer is not something that we fit in when we can like anything that's important to us we will make very important to us and so prayer my dear friends and I'm not saying this because I'm a nun I'm saying it because I actually believe it I prayer is the conversation between two friends it's the instrument of communion and it has got to be the foundation of my soul and it's not just vocal prayer of a recitation that's wonderful but it's also the heartfelt prayer when I'm telling the Lord exactly what's happening and I'm responding to what he's saying to me it is spending time with the Word of God where he's speaking to us and we're asking we're inviting him in these places throughout the day in my life I am in constant kind of communication with the lord of like okay Lord what's happening right now in my heart or what should I do here you know because the Lord is within us that means we can talk to him all the time it's not even just a prayer time that we can talk to him at all but all the time and so I think asking honestly it sounds simple doesn't it but it is asking like Lord I want to encounter you I want to encounter you in a new way I ask that you would soften my heart you know soften my heart and teach me teach me your ways the Holy Spirit loves to be asked to teach like he loves to teach us oh it's so beautiful so we can do that and spending time in the word spending time in the sacraments when we can but that prayer heart to heart heart speaks to heart is priceless and nobody can do that for us nobody can that's a sacred journey for each person that we each must make in our hearts with the Lord so ask him for the Grace and keep asking every day and see what happens thank you so much sister we're coming at the end of our time now it's been such a pleasure to speak to you you're I'm you're amazing and you're such a beautiful person as well so it's been a real honor to be speaking with you today and I was talking to Ralph Merritt and while ago and I invited him for dinner in my house so you're invited this way oh yeah next time you're over here in karke you're more than welcome you can hit me to leave invite me I would love that thank you so much for having me it's been a pure delight thank you so so much sister god bless good mercy to all the way

Channel: Irish Dominicans

Views: 11,168

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Keywords: Irish Dominicans

Id: KPrWD8zzV7s

Length: 59min 15sec (3555 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 05 2020