If the Founding Fathers Were on Mushrooms

[Music] james what's with this scroll man oh it's to write the amendments on why don't you just bring paper well it's a scroll regular sheets of paper would be way more practical think will smear on that once you roll it up if you make one mistake then the whole damn thing's ruined you'll have to start over well i i just thought it would be more official if we used a scroll i think you're gonna regret it i love scrolls george don't hate what's that you're eating oh these things are all over the place i'm so hungry i've been eating for like six days fasting starvation want one where's thomas oh he's not coming he sent me a letter strapped to the foot of a bird three months ago saying he wouldn't be able to make it why isn't he coming oh his wife got sick um yeah she got diarrhea but you know she's 30 so she's lived a long healthy life or a guy who wants to be president one day he's got no shame messing around with all the sheep are sheep the same as lambs i think so then what's the difference between a sheep and a ram i think rams are sheep with horns so they're horny sheep you know thomas jefferson is going to have to stop fornicating with them somebody might draw a picture of him eventually doing it and then they'd cancel them for it cancel them yeah like they'd throw a they'd throw a party a thomas jefferson is over party no more future presidency for him that sounds terrible i think it'll catch on [Music] [Music] oh [Music] all right george let's get going on these amendments i'm so glad you brought that scroll don't you like it i love these things okay freedom of religion you're good with you good with that i'm a hell yes on that yeah well but for all religions every one of them yeah what about if one day there's something called scientology would that be a real religion no one knows [Laughter] the people who do it think so oh my god go get them whatever they want to do [Music] so we have something in there about separation between church and state what do you mean look for example say someone's testifying in a court of law then they'd have to put their hand on the bible and swear to god they'll tell the truth yeah that sounds separate you good with it i love it [Laughter] oh stay over there you're the church i swear on this bible that i'm part of the state i swear to god that i'm not religious [Music] awesome [Music] oh tommy j left us a note yeah he says make sure to add qualified immunity for cops um [Music] i don't think that's a good idea yeah yeah that makes my shoulder hurt yeah uh let's just not do that yeah i'm a hard no on that i started to freak out i feel like i need to hug a tree i'm gonna tell him a goat ate his note can i hold this scroll [Music] should people just like be able to say what they want like like freedom of speech yeah yeah freedom of speech you good with it yeah you sure yeah i mean like if you're not good with it just tell me no i'm totally good with it i just think we might be a little bit restrictive with the way we're wanting it that's all freedom of speech yeah but i i think we should broaden it like what if what if one day we give the companies the power to give people the ability to do free speech but only if they do the speech that the companies want them to do like with the way that we're wording it we're restricting the power that those companies have i really don't like where you're going with this you never like any of my ideas i yes i do no you don't you're the president and i'm just i'm just your scribe no like come on i i like your ideas i respect you i promise do you really yeah yeah yeah you know what i i like your idea ooh that's i'm between my heart right now that's what that feels like i'm gonna do it anyway we shouldn't do this i think we should definitely go with freedom of speech the way you have it it's a great idea really yeah yeah yeah um so big companies will have the freedom to censor speech that they don't like yeah all right so that'll be freedom of speech [Music] [Music] oh right to bear arms should we put that in it seems like people might just start mercilessly like killing each other like shooting dozens of people at a time but seriously like once you get a shot off how long does it take you to reload your musket like 90 seconds exactly if there was a madman shooting people someone would tackle him before he could even get his second shot off that's a good point so right to bear arms should we add any other any other nuances oh no it feels like it'd be unconstitutional if we got more nuanced and thoughtful with this discussion [Music] should we give women the right to vote i don't know if they have the bone density to be able to handle it no unreasonable searches or seizures no seizures but that's a medical condition some people can't even help it don't be so insensitive bro no seizures like taking people's possessions oh well that's that's different yeah i'm all for that me too as long as the government can listen to anyone's conversation at any time but how would we do that we um telepathy telephone what is that uh i don't know i'm just getting a download about it what's a download it's like a telegram made out of consciousness whoa we should call it the patriot axe sounds patriotic it's not done if an octopus has eight feet and squirrels have four feet does that make a squirrel a quadriplegic [Music] the tree said yes i have syphilis jesus george that's serious yeah i've had it for about a year now i haven't told anybody what are you going to do leeches my dude you're so white you own slaves [Music] so do you what the hell is wrong with us we just own people i don't like how that feels yeah we we probably shouldn't do that anymore nobody should dude we should add that 13th amendment thing now weren't we gonna wait on that for some reason waiting i don't like how that feels either yeah we need to do that now oh thomas said we should add a loophole if we do this that says if people get caught committing a crime we can enslave them within the prison system that doesn't make any sense because then you could just charge black people with frivolous crimes and then enslave them again that doesn't end slavery at all right that's terrible no absolutely not cross that part out this idea was that i don't know some racist that kind of thing might be able to get past lincoln but not us who's lincoln no idea i'm chain link oh [Music] well done man not bad for a day's work these are our constitutional freedoms perfect oh yeah uh could you put in ps unless there's a virus then we can take them all away can't believe i almost forgot [Music] it's better cheers i want to thank the sponsor of this video mass zymes by by optimizers if you have digestive issues like bloating and gas not only do people probably not like being around you but it also means you're probably not digesting your food right and that's a problem because you're not what you eat you are what you absorb this becomes an even bigger 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with a 365 day money back guarantee to grab yours just go to masszzymes.com jp thank you for watching guys i want to give a special shout out to my co-star of this video my friend brent hello hey guys subscribe to me fantastic you subscribe to brent's channel please make sure you're subscribed to mine as well thank you for watching

Channel: AwakenWithJP

Views: 218,496

Keywords: jp sears, awaken with jp, ultra spiritual life, how to be ultra spiritual, how to get offended, conscious comedy, founding fathers, brent pella, comedy

Id: uXT19eYyZ14

Length: 14min 33sec (873 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 27 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/silentwalker22]

Sounds like satire like the other amendments they mention. But I don't know on the internet anymore.

[u/TheWonderfulWoody]

Lost all credibility in the first minute or two when they were walking and casually describing how “primitive” life was back then, so as to backhandedly suggest the founders’ words were less meaningful.

Also they spewed the age old “everyone back then was starving and getting sick and dying early” which demonstrates their blatant lack of understanding of history, immunology and life expectancy statistics.

It’s a shame because this guy has some decent content but a lot of his stuff is straight up wacky and outright narcissistic. I don’t think I can give him the views anymore.

[u/KeiseiAESkyliner]

Did this motherfucker ignore DC vs. Heller and Caetano vs. Massachusetts entirely?

[u/That_Squidward_feel]

I'm sorry but your argument is invalid by virtue of not having been written down with a quill on parchment and delivered by horse mail.