Good morning. Oh my god. I look stupid *intro* It's really early. I'm warning you, the beginning of this vlog, I'm going to be boring because I'm f*cking tired. Let's make a coffee and discuss what's going on today because it's pretty epic so hold on- You know what? I don't even want to wear this beanie. F**k the beanie, the beanie's not happening. In about half an hour, I have a car coming pick me up and I'm going to the airport. Then, I'm gonna sit on a plane for 11 hours. And then, once I land the plane, I'm gonna be in Paris. "You landed the plane? Are you a pilot?" "Oohh" *fart noise* I've never been to Paris. I've only been to Europe one time. I went to Europe to go to Ireland when I was like 10 but I don't really remember the trip and every time I see a picture from the trip, it makes me nauseous. So, yeah. Growing up, I always wanted to go to Paris. It just never happened. I didn't think I'd ever do anything even remotely like this in my whole life. I'm going to Paris for Fashion Week. Yeah, I'm shocked too. I love clothes even though I dress lazy like 90% of the time, I still really love clothes, so going to Paris Fashion Week is gonna be so dope. I'm actually being sent BY LOUIS VUITTON This sounds like it's a joke. Once I drink my coffee and close my suitcase---which is exploding I literally am gonna have the hardest time of my entire life closing my suitcase right now, but---once my suitcases is closed, my coffee is consumed, we're off to the airport. I'm really excited to go but I'm also like: What am I gonna do on the plane for 11 hours? Hopefully, I can fall asleep. Yummy! Oh my god, you know what I'm excited to try in Paris? Coffee Oh! Also, if you're wondering why I look like... Yesterday, I got a spray tan and I got my nails did. These are the most boring nails I've ever gotten done to my whole life. But I just wanted to be really classy for this trip because I want to prove myself, as a woman, you know? Although I'm somebody that definitely is not afraid to like be really comfortable all the time, I also kind of love being a little bit of a girly girl sometimes. I don't know. Doing stuff like getting my nails done and getting a spray tan to me is slightly too enjoyable. Doing that all the time for me just isn't efficient. So I like to save things like getting my nails done and getting spray tans for special occasions because Girl, I'm busy. *slurps coffee* Let's go to Paris. Okay, I'm gonna go to bed. See you guys in Paris, I guess. We just landed. It's 8 a.m. I slept like the whole time but we'll talk about this later. Also my skin is f***ed up so... I'm so tired. I'm sorry. Can I order room service? *on-hold music* Vibes. Can I have hard-boiled eggs, fruit plate, granola. Thank you so much. [guy on phone] You're welcome. Ok sorry. I'm in my room I'm... a mess. It's 9 a.m. I can't believe I was literally on a plane for 11 hours. I slept for like eight hours though. And then for the other two hours, I watched beautiful boy and cried, so that was a good accomplishment for me. My room is pretty crazy. This place is super nice. Let me show you, I'll give you a little room tour. When you walk in, you walk in right here, and then you have this mirror. Hi, that's me. Here's the bathroom. I actually haven't looked at the bathroom yet. Oh my god. How does this work? What? Okay, that's how that works. I just spray tanned so ignore that. Shower in here. Oh my god, ow. Toilet. Let me see, is the French toilet the same as American toilet? Oh, woah. Uh, there's me again, and there's me again. There's a lot of mirrors in this place. This is seriously beautiful like... This is my view from my hotel room and then I have my bed. That's the room tour! Even though I slept for so long on the plane, I'm still like so drained. I'm so tired Oh my god, oh my god. This is my first meal in Paris. Okay, this latte has a f***ing bird on it. I love this place. Oh my god, the coffee here's... f**k ahh Oh, wait. I need to take an Instagram picture of this first. I have to. Okay, now that I've been a basic bitch and took a picture of it, let's feast. What did I even order again? Oh, yeah, I ordered hard-boiled eggs. That's gonna be interesting. First, let's eat my granola. Oh my god, why is it so good? *coughing* Is this Kiwi? *gasps* Kiwi? I'm eating like a pig. F**k it, I'll even eat the mint too. Why is the mint really good? Oh my god, oh my goddd. Sorry. Me and my snacks. It's healthy. I just went to the gym and then I showered, which I didn't film because guess what? Vlogging boring stuff is stupid. So I just ordered my second coffee of the day. It just came up. What's really cool is that this coffee is iced but there's no actual ice in it. So don't ask me the science behind that because I couldn't tell you but *slurps* tastes good. I am going to, I think, a Louis Vuitton store? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know. So that's what I'm getting ready for right now. It's so funny because---this is kind of off topic but---when I was in the gym, all of the gym equipment was in French so I didn't know what anything meant and like there's another American guy in the gym and he looked confused too. There's no way I'm the only one that's having this issue. And then I get into the shower. No f***ing idea how to use that shower. I still don't know how I turned it on. It was so confusing. Anyway, I guess I should get ready right now. Or maybe I'll just lay in bed with my coffee for the next like hour. I just spilled coffee all over my face. Okay, so I'm at the Louis Vuitton store and I'm about to do a fitting. This is the most I've looked like a woman in like six months. Okay, so this is very cool, but it's just slightly long. I love this top this top. This top fits so good. It has like shoulder pads in it, which is something I've never experienced. The skirt is too big though, but I like the idea of it because we all know I love plaid. We'll keep you updated on this. We've been trying things on for like probably forty-five minutes, but then they put this outfit on me. It's... It literally made my jet lag go away, that's how good it is. I don't know this does it justice, but it's so cool. Like these shoes are so epic I don't even know what's going on right now. Alright, bye. Peace out. Hi, can I order one iced latte with almond milk? Thank you. Bye. Yeah I'm tired. Also, I am wearing men's underwear, but I literally ordered them myself because I'm not kidding you, the best pajama pants are men's briefs. I'm not kidding. I had a fitting with Louis Vuitton and they got me outfits for a party that I have tonight and then the fashion show that I have on Tuesday. It's kind of been fun being a little bit of a girly girl for the past like 24 hours Also, I need to redo my makeup for this party because I'm starting to look not good. Gonna take a piss now. I don't know how to do my hair for this. I don't know. Maybe I do a half up-half down. Am I making the right decision? Okay, this is cute but like do I want to do this? Is this like the decision I want to make right now? Like I don't know. After my hair crisis, I ended up going to the party, which was actually pretty fun, but I didn't really vlog anything because I got too nervous. [fake crowd] yayyyy! That's okay though because I think that the two photos I took while I was there sum up the whole experience So as you can see here, um, they had many little burgers I didn't eat these because I'm vegetarian, but it was still a really fun gesture I also kicked over one of the candle decorations because I was standing next to it and am a f********** Sorry, everybody. That's not gonna be that fun to clean up, but it's not my fault. Actually it is. Good morning. It's like 6:00 a.m. I woke up at 5:30 because I'm jet-lagged and confused So I just ordered myself breakfast, which I'm so excited about. The breakfast here is... This is my last free day in Paris. We're going to some tourist attractions, which is exciting. We're gonna go to the Eiffel Tower and then tomorrow is the Fashion Show and I am really excited. Okay, but here's the tea. I wanted to do a cycling class really bad. There's a literal cycling class, 8 minute walk away from here, and I want to go really bad. But the thing is I'm like nervous. Like I don't know if it's a good idea. The whole class is gonna be in French. I can't read the website because it's all in French. If I do end up going, I'll bring you guys with me and that can be a fun adventure for us. If not, then well, we'll just all go f**k ourselves so I'm literally trying to book this cycling class and I have to copy and paste into Google Translate to understand what anything means but if I did everything correctly, then that means that I have a class at 7:45. Mmm. I'm eating breakfast and it's still dark out so that's kind of confusing. They made my latte hot today Do you know what? I'm not gonna complain. This is the first time I've ever had a hot coffee not hated it. France is changing me. Oh my god, why is the mint here so good? Should I try one of these jams? Problem is I don't really like Jam that much. This is the best breakfast that exists like the fruit is all so good but then you get like really good eggs--- which, I don't even f***ing like eggs that much. You get granola that's like amazing with almond milk that's like really good almond milk and then you get bread. Like I don't know what else in life I need. They should make a reality show about me in Paris by myself. A.K.A. what's happening right now. They can watch me eat French breakfast and stuff. *slurps* Oh god, this coffee... It's good hot. Since when? I haven't good hot coffee since '99. Okay, so I'm on my way to my class. It's still dark and it's like 7:30 a.m. I'm really confused. Also gonna jaywalk right now cause I'm a f***ing savage. All right. Wish me luck. We'll see how this goes I just finished. It was actually really good. It was really weird. It was like exactly the same as soul cycle. I didn't expect it to be that similar, but everything was in French so I had no idea what was going on the whole class. I just had to follow what the instructor was doing Anyway, I'm gonna walk back to my hotel room now. Okay. Bye Now it's time for a little bit of a tourist few days. It's our day off. I have to head out. It's Eiffel Tower Hour. Wow *burps* I'm so jet-lagged So I woke up, ate my breakfast, did my cycling class, went and saw the Eiffel Tower, and then I went shopping for like two hours and made mistakes. And then I came home and slept for like five hours. So that was my day today, but I thought I'd do a haul. I'm literally screaming. I'm so delirious. I'm like---I seem like I'm on drugs, but I'm not, shockingly. I'm also gonna make this a try on haul even though I really don't want to. I guess I'll do it for you. *blows kiss* aww First thing I got---so f***ing cute. It's this big yellow raincoat from the brand uhhh... hmm Schultze, and it's so cute. I love it. I feel like it's something I would have worn in like third grade and I'm obsessed with it. So I love that. Okay, this is kind of a questionable item. Not really but I got these Carhartt overalls. You know, I don't know, overalls, I bought a pair recently and I really uhh liked them so we'll see if the Carhartt ones end up being cute. Next, I got these freakin French ass jeans. These are French as hell. They fit so well. They kind of give me a nice little 80s vibe. Really f***ing into those pants. I also got these mustard colored jeans just because they fit super well. I feel like they're just like an easy thing to wear around, you know? This detail on the zipper--- see like right here ,like this little detail right here---got me fucked up. There's something about that detail that I love. Count me in. Now, let me show you what I got from Zara. First, I got this turtleneck. How cute is this? I kinda wanna cut my hair like this girl on the shirt. I just like her look. She looks so swag. Comment down below if I should cut my hair like her or if I should just shut up, instead. Then, I got this---which this is kind of like boring but---it's just a corduroy thing. If I were just like open with a shirt under it,--- obviously a shirt under it, not just f***ing naked under it. I feel like that could be really cute. I don't know I just like it. It was an impulse buy. Okay, next, thank god, is kind of a unique thing for me. I normally don't buy things like this. I really like these. I got these boots. They're really cool. I decided I would branch out and get these and I like them. Fashion week has made me really actually open my mind to new fashion. I normally wouldn't have bought boots like that, but I was like f**k it, they're cool. Oh, then, I got this shirt, which I love. I love this shirt. It's so cool. It looks stupid--- well it doesn't look stupid, but it doesn't look like anything special but it looks so good on and I actually haven't tried it on yet so I don't know if that's even true, but I'm just thinking, I'm just guessing it looks good on so... thank you. Okay. I kinda went off at Zara. Um, whoops, sorry. I don't know. Next, I got this jacket because I've been really enjoying super big winter coats recently, which is stupid because it's literally about to be summer kind of soon. It's a fuzzy material because we all know that I'm a bitch for fuzzy things. Super cute. Next. This last thing I got is f***ing epic. This raincoat. This is like the coolest raincoat I've ever seen. Okay, well, you can't even see it cuz it's see-through, but you'll be able to see when I try it on. This is a try on haul because I'm nice. So that's all I bought. So I'm gonna try all the shit on and then I'm gonna go to bed and then tomorrow is the fashion show. Good night Good night. See you tomorrow for the big day Good morning and Happy Fashion Week Day. My god, my eyebrows look psycho. It's 7:15 a.m. I'm about to go to another French SoulCycle because Why not? I'm done. I'm gonna see if I can find like a cute little café to go into. Wish me luck. It's raining and I bought this raincoat yesterday just for fun cause I thought it was cool and it's like really coming in handy. My mind is so powerful. I had no idea it was gonna rain and I was right. "Hey guys. Getting ready." "She loves it." "I love this. No, I actually love it. They're making me glam." "I don't do this type of stuff. I have no idea what I look like right now." "I asked her what she wanted. She goes: I have no idea" I don't. I'm so excited. Show them my dress. Sneak peak of the dress. What are we thinking guys? That's one crazy freakin dress. Okay, I'm doing an outfit reveal but I'm blurring my face right now cuz I want the whole thing to be a surprise so you can't see my face right now at all cuz I'm gonna blur it. And then it's--- outfit reveal. Okay, hold on. Okay, three, two, one. What do you think guys? What do we think? I don't even look like me like normally at this angle when I'm filming at this angle I look like like a hard-boiled egg that like you peeled off the shell already and it's just like a little lumpy a little bit like really pale. Now I look like an Easter Egg. I love that. I mean this pattern---this pattern. I want to be buried in this pattern. I look good, at least. See, this is like how mom's on Facebook take selfies like this... Just dropped off my kid at school. Now, I'm gonna go to Pilates and then I'm going to the PTA meeting and then after that I'm making cookies cuz guess what? It'a the baking fundraiser that they have every year and the kids are supposed to bake their own snacks but I'm baking him the sweets for the fundraiser instead because he doesn't like doing things that are difficult. Okay, so now that I'm all done and ready. We don't have the show for a little bit, so we're having a little photo shoot. Oh my god. For fun, for---just for funsies. Oh my god. I don't even look like me. I don't look like me at all. I'm scared. But yeah, we're doing a photo shoot, so I'm just gonna start posing and hoping that I don't look stupid. That's kind of just what I do every day. Oh my god I'm still filming The fact that I got literally two minutes of sleep last night is really catching up to me and my heels are making my feet hurt but that's okay because beauty is pain. We're about to go to the show. Oh my god. Big moment. Who are you filming? I'm so excited and kind of nervous. About to get out of the car. There's a lot of people around. I don't know what any of them are doing though. Oh my god, why are there so many people with cameras and stuff. "That was so scary but I loved it. But I also had my phone like kind of like not classy. I'm like posing with it. I'm like..." "But you match" I'm feeling really, um, kind of like a badass bitch right now. Ow. My feet hurt. Ow. Thank you. Thank you, thank you so much. I'm sitting in my spot. I'm so excited to watch the show. I love this. I could do this every weekend. I wish that there was a Fashion Week every weekend and that I was invited to every single one. Well, I'll see you when the show starts. I'm nervous. Kind of nervous, kind of excited. bye.
