I READ THE MOST HATED BOOK ON BOOKTUBE | rant review

alright I'm gonna start this pray for me I don't even know what I'm doing right now but this is happening I've read part of the like intro I don't even know who wrote it but there's been already a whole bunch of grammar problems and I'm not excited for this but I'm gonna do it for you guys because I love you and I hate myself alright guys so I've made it about a hundred pages into handbook for ass heads and it's bad it is as bad as I expected it to be the most notable things I am realizing so far is that for linguini Salem the ability to write a sentence without adding at least eight to 40 extra words impossible she has to overload every single sentence and as someone who likes flowery writing I feel like I would enjoy it if every single one of those words actually did something for the storyline no they don't they literally are there for no [ __ ] reason and could have been gutted I honestly think this book could probably be like a hundred pages long but it's so bloated with extra words that don't have to be there and extra references that don't have to be there that it it's just four hundred pages long so that's that's where we're at that's my opinion so far and I will come back soon honestly this book gets a 1-star because the main character is not a fan of beards it's her opinion but she's in fact completely wrong she's just wrong in case you're wondering if there's girl hate in this book yes yes there is alright guys well is a few hours later and I am now 195 pages into this book and it doesn't seem like there's a plot there's been no world building and all the characters are terrible people and I hate myself so hopefully you guys like this [ __ ] video alright I finished it this book shouldn't exist much less have made it onto the New York Times best selling list actual trash there's there's no actual plots at all things happen and it's not good at all and I don't I don't know how anyone could have convinced anyone that it was good get ready to be fed because this reviews gonna be [ __ ] fire hi guys welcome back to my channel my name is Maggie can you hear I hope your days go on well I did it guys I read the most hated book on booktube handbook for asshats wait that doesn't seem right let's try that again handbook for tricking the New York time best selling list seems closer paid work for white feminism that seems correct but I don't think that's actually what we're looking for handbook for mortals bye leggo my eggo okay y'all so I found this book at a local youth bookstore in my hometown of Vegas and I thought to myself Maddie you can't pick this book up and just do a rant review for it honestly guys my brain saw this book and what oh content and I I'm here to tell you guys about what this book is and what it is not let's get into it I love the fact that I also picked this up and on top of you know being a terrible writer ladies theorem actually wrote her signing on the in page and this book was never read like I was definitely the first person to touch this book and I'm not gonna put on blast the name of the personalisation because it's probably either one of this authors friends or like none top I'm not being able to write she doesn't know how to sign books because that's not where you sign a book I know some of you guys wanted a drunk review for hitting 5k but it's like 10:00 a.m. and I don't have any alcohol in my house I'm not gonna go get alcohol to a rant about this book and it's already gonna be a crazy ride get your alcohol beverage of choice if you would like to I'm drinking coffee so here we are I read this book in about three to four hours of straight torture porn and go ahead and strap in and get ready for this useless review oh if you're unaware of what this book like controversy is let me give you a quickie breakdown this book showed up out of nowhere on the New York Times bestselling list at the number one spot on on August 15 2017 and within 23 hours the Wyatt community I found out that the publisher had been created specifically to promote this book had actually bought out 18,000 copies to get it at the number one spot on the we show adult best-selling list which actually knocked down the hate you gave by Angie Thomas which had been at the number one spot for 25 weeks and Counting now the author linguini spaghetti actually created a movie script for this book originally she was going to actually star in the big-time adaptation of this book and she thought it was going to become the next big Twilight they honestly believe that young adult readers would like look past the lack of plot and the terrible writing and make this book a phenomenon now the one thing that laryngitis Sally Hansen didn't realize is that those books like Twilight and Harry Potter and all these big franchises actually come from books that are written really well like decently well and actually had a huge following before their movie productions show up out of nowhere and honestly thinking that this book is anywhere close to Harry Potter is just [ __ ] laughable and also even the cover is plagiarized like that's just amazing and the funny part about this is the last friend review I did for after was actually set in my home state of Washington and now this book is set in Vegas Mike like my home as of almost a year which is crazy but I just I love the fact that these books are set and very easy to adapt places and managed to get the places they're set in completely wrong but you came here for review and I'll give that to you I knew pretty much nothing about this book going into it at all like I honestly had no interest in it until I found a copy which is usually how these reviews work let's be real going in I found out that this is book is about Zaid which is actually short for shekhar azad which makes no sense and is borderline racist Zetas are not even a little bit subtle self-insert for bamboo and salsa and if you wanted pages and pages of description about what this woman looks like boy you should read this books women describes herself in Manute detail when starting off the novel about a girl of indeterminate age moving to Vegas away from her mom to become a trapeze artist and practice her magic that ends with a ke I'm honestly surprised she left off the last two so all of that happens in chapter zero because what the [ __ ] is a prologue and from then on there is no plot this quickly becomes a Plain White T's fanfic and honestly that band in this review have a lot in common starting with that they both haven't been Levent for years it's just your average girl who has literally never gone on a date before and suddenly has two guys interested in her which is funny because literally every single character tells her she's beautiful all the goddamn time I also I never get this fake humble [ __ ] in books by the way for [ __ ] sake last was say good potato spends like paragraphs describing what this character looks like and you can't tell me that if all these other characters are telling you you're beautiful that you don't find yourself at least a little bit narcissistic at times you're not fooling anybody well I feel like I'm unattractive it's because I am and no guy out here it's gonna be like ooh baby your skin doesn't look like it's seen the Sun for five days and you've got depression so I coating your body let's get it on and also ladies and gentle beans guys that go for that I don't think I'm attractive thing or like 90% predators so speaking of predators the main love interest is creepy as [ __ ] and he just stares at Zaid while she's getting changed into a costume half naked and that's pretty much all you need to know about it enjoyed the other love interest much more until I realized he was actually Jackson Rathbone written into the novel by this author who barely managed his band I hate the fact that she's making me cancel Jasper from Twilight rip Jackson Rathbone he isn't dead just let himself be written into this god-awful novel I also want to know where max inspiration came from the other love interest what else is better than Jasper from Twilight right he's what he's Superman but so for the rest of the book it's like a tug of war of will they won't they on Zaid with these two guys which is pretty [ __ ] boring lavish sambuca is credited for comparing herself to e/l James the author of Fifty Shades of Grey and I have to say though that there is no non-consensual spanking in this book [Applause] honestly even the kissing scene sounds like she's narrating a nature documentary about a wet pancake everything about this book sounds like it was written in 2002 putting a time capsule and then released in 2017 complete with a ridiculous carrot top cameo which apparently only exists because he was one of the four editors that read this over for a lot of insulting Gregor I honestly think that thirteen-year-old Maddie could have walked into a Hot Topic come out wearing a come to the dark side we have cookies t-shirt yes that's a reference from the book and a novel that's written better than this [ __ ] garbage this book was just brain rotting Lee bad I'm never advocating for people to go read the books that I read review but please don't read this book even for science purposes it's not good to be honest I probably could have just done some research and watched a whole bunch of reviews and then just made a video for you guys on like what licentious noodle has been doing since this happened but I found this book so I made this review and read this content and it's bad I'm definitely not [ __ ] with you when I just think that this is just like ink symbols on dead trees Lices it's not a book it's not a novel there's no plot there's no story there's no world building what's so [ __ ] ever I also think that Lamborghini snoot has a issue with women like a huge issue this book has more case of not like other girls itis than any other book that I've ever [ __ ] read I don't know if she's got some sort of bone to pick with other females but this woman definitely has said I only hang out with guys they're less drama and she believes that [ __ ] with her whole heart and soul I also was watching another video because apparently she was going to make the movie production all-female lead and as if that was like a reason for this book to get made into a movie honestly just basing off the conversations that Zaid has with other characters in this book I don't honestly think that could have even possibly been an option for this movie there is no healthy relationships between women or relationships at all between women in this book speaking of unhealthy relationships between women there's actually a scene in this book where a fight takes place between the main character and a teenager which is the only teenager in the book mind you over a boy who works at Hot Dog on a Stick no I've got to be clear with you guys I have never read a young adult book about a woman who lives in Vegas who is somehow trapeze artist as well as a friend of a whole bunch of d-list celebrities and who also fights teenagers at fast-food joints but I really just can't get behind this whole concept that Lainey was pushing that the boy book community was like harshing on her mellow and not adding new voices to the mix like there's this paranormal ish love triangle book and then there's the hate you give by Angie Thomas which is about the police brutality and systemic racism in USA right now you know one of these is a word winning book deserves Nate requires the attention that the New York Times by selling spot deems possible and it isn't this [ __ ] garbage and which is this doesn't add anything to anyone at all nothing of value in this book that could have had merit to cheating the New York Times bestselling lists on top of all of this it is 2019 and this woman still has a racial slur in her Twitter username and she also uses this word frequently in the book and does not seem to have any concept about why she should not be using it I do want to sleep believe not a single person who has read actual books read this novel before they decided to publish the writing is just god [ __ ] awful when it comes to writing you should err on the side of caution and go with the less is more approach but latex salem obviously uses the age-old writing technique of why use ten words when you could use forty there's a section where Zaid is literally explaining why she's making Game of Thrones reference to herself and there's about 45 extra words than necessary also adult men COO at the main character as if she's a baby and when I say that I threw up in my mouth a little bit I'm not [ __ ] with you I also love that the foreword of this book is written by a international best-selling adult romance author her words not mine and when she read this book she knew it was good because she had written good books promisee the Bayou stick series on Goodreads how much you want to bet that there's the incest key in this book I'm sorry if I'm just reading off the screen I have notes but you guys know how this works I'll let you think everyone involved in this book series was on some sort of crack cocaine and this is what we got from it I wanted to find out what Laker saliva had been doing over the course of the last few years and honestly I couldn't find anything about what she's been doing she did a few like podcasts and stuff like that but I didn't really listen to those I'll have other things that I found linked down below but I just wanted to get this out for you guys as soon as possible I did find out that she she was in a movie called trailer park shark and I'm not quite sure why she spent 200 pages describing what she looked like when those three words - just a great job and that was a little mean I never in my entire life try and make jokes about a appearance I don't think it's classy humor but I do honestly believe that this group of people that made this should happen don't deserve the basic etiquette that they didn't afford us when they decided to [ __ ] buy out a whole bunch of copies of this shitty ass book to beat out a book that date it deserves to have been at that spot for as long as goddam possible but you know what if geek nation the publishing company that made this possible wants to buy out 18,000 copies of my unfinished novel just send me the royalty check I be down and I think you guys would enjoy my novel much more it does have a love triangle it is paranormal ish but there's no sightings of any famous person or thing and the magic doesn't end in a K and there are no racist slurs I also went on and found some interesting good Goodreads reviews that were positive because I have heard that there was like an influx of positive reviews trying to outsource all of the negative reviews that people had about this book on Goodreads and I found one that I'm not even quite sure if this person is a friend of the authors or what but the end of this review is quite hilarious it says something along the lines of like Trump won best of luck next time inter kids and I just think that's quite hilarious considering the impeachment inquiry that just happened so this book has nothing to do with politics mind you I don't even know why this person who is just making this review public out there talking about Trump regarding this book but um that's where we're ending the review I guess all right guys so that was whatever the garbage this was so I'm gonna go now if you like this video please let me know down below in the comments I'm gonna go now guys like subscribe all the good stuff bye alright get this little too soon I'm sorry [Music]

Channel: a lil bit mads

Views: 24,764

Keywords: books, booktube, booktuber, bookish, book reviewer, bookseller, rant review, rant, handbook for mortals, lani sarem, controversy, scandal, scam

Id: 4MUQErmHFf0

Length: 15min 45sec (945 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 30 2019