I Hoard So Much I Can't Live In My Own House | Our Life

[Music] i'm jasmine harmon and i've lived with my mother's compulsive hoarding all my life i'm telling you i'm keeping those if that isn't with your agreement then we have to fall out with help my mum's made huge improvements and now i want to help other hoarders around the country who are living in terrible conditions i've been desperate because i can't cope with it this isn't me this isn't me living like this i am shocked it's literally a wall of stuff these are people who have lost their homes and lives to hoarding it's going to feel like you can't make it and that's totally normal oh yeah do you want to spend the rest of your years with this hanging over you sorry i can't do it i want hoarders up and down the country to realise they aren't alone get rid you can't use them so that's a good decision you've made i'm really proud of you and that with the right help their lives can improve too really good to have my space back look what i have found the things that i've found that i never actually knew that i had [Music] i've got something wrong with me which lots of other people have got and it can be cured 71 year old wendy who taught english to foreign students has lived in this one-bedroom house in south london for 24 years this used to be such a nice one there's a tea under there and a bed under there when you get a certain amount of clutter and stuff hoarded it becomes an almost unsurmountable task which anybody will tell you i feel very ashamed really i mean i must admit [Music] wendy's house is packed to the rafters with bags and boxes a bathroom full of clothes a bedroom so stacked with belongings that only a sliver of bed remains and a living room almost submerged by clutter there's a heater there that's broken that i got to take back because i've got to know where the receipt is wendy lives alone but her best friend giovanni is a regular visitor everything is difficult here what can i do we have you know arguments but i feel like you know small arguments i forgot you know because she's in she interferes interrupts wendy has a particular attachment to the newspapers she's been collecting for 17 years i'm very possessive about the newspaper if they all went just imagine how much space i'd have i i wouldn't believe it i think will i ever look at them again it's true i don't know how to throw things away you know i [Music] don't wendy's friends workmates and neighbours have tried to help her clear her hoard before but haven't been successful she's contacted me to see if i can help [Music] hello wendy now you see jasmine that is my main problem under there i've got a computer i've got a wardrobe of clothes that i haven't looked at at least 15 years they've probably all eaten a month i had a cat in there for three days and i had mice in there they climbed up the wall i didn't even know the cat was there you see these they're probably quite valuable they're large size i don't know where i got them from don't ever ask me they're huge i know but what what are they for well they're football boots why have you got them i don't know don't ask me why i've got anything it's like christmas every day when i work with the kosovans and the refugees in wimbledon where i work now the asylum seekers i was in charge of the shoes and the clothes right i was bringing stuff back that was being chucked out and i was bringing it back here this is largely why for about at least six years i was bringing stuff back as well as the items from her charity work wendy an only child says she inherited much of her horde after her aunt and mother died the trouble about my mother was being born in the water she would never throw anything away so every drawer in the house was full of things that will have a use for it um so you've still got all that stuff to be honest i don't know so do you think that is oh yeah learned behavior it's ingrained in me i don't know if other people like this but when i see something i don't want to get rid of it i might not look at it for 10 years it's this sort of mental mother there don't throw that away it'll be useful you know it's i've met so many hoarders who feel their hoarding comes from a parent and it often makes the condition even harder to tackle have you ever tried to to clear up or to help yeah to help her sort things out or let go of some things i tried for for a long time and i've given up and you know i just say well yeah you know what can you do a future i mean she's still 70 71 she's still fit but you know obviously she's not getting any anger so i think she should do something about it it's not always been like this for wendy her career started as a medical secretary before her talent as a linguist took her into teaching where she lived and worked abroad now she wants to regain the life she feels she's lost to her hoarding hello wendy how lovely to meet you would you like some fruitcake so you're the clutter lady i'm the clutter lady you've got a problem on your hands here tell you i've brought professional declutterer heather matuatso along to see if she can help give wendy a plan to start clearing one of the things i can't stand is lack of space i need freedom the irony and i get claustrophobic in here i can't i can't come in and i want to do it and i don't know where to start let's say we've solved the problem of space so you've got somewhere to sort g had some you had some quite interesting suggestions of how some stuff could move around here well take it to a yeah a bigger place yeah for her to look through all the so in order for it to feel more comfortable to to take a look at all the stuff and maybe you know hopefully get rid of some some of it so we find a space we we take the stuff out and put it in the space and then you sit there and say oh yeah that's so easy i've always said if i had more space i mean i can do that wendy agrees to us hiring a warehouse space for her to sort through her possessions when my mum did this it was a really effective but incredibly difficult experience she's a very clever lady very articulate very intelligent but she doesn't pause for breath when she's telling you her stories and she doesn't answer questions because her mind goes off on a completely different tangent because she's got so much going on in there and i think that is a reflection of the state of the house affecting the state of what's going on in her head and vice versa the two affect each other [Music] 80 miles away in northamptonshire the local environmental health team has told me about another hoarder this might be a bit difficult all right lawrence is a repeat offender after complaints four years ago the council cleared several skips of clutter from his home now they're threatening a second clearance because he's back in the same mess this big tv is something i picked up i was going to repair but really needs to um move out of the room ah all this is sort of an accumulation over over quite a long um i don't know a period of time a lot of it is rubbish unfortunately lawrence has no access to his kitchen or dining room and the rest of the home he bought 12 years ago has a thick layer of rubbish on the floor he has dozens of electrical appliances which he had planned to fix but now sit abandoned amongst the rubbish and this is the hallway into the hallway it goes down there to um a little conservatory in the back which unfortunately again is uh that one is floor to ceiling high you know people say why don't you just do a bin bag of rubbish a day but it's it just doesn't doesn't seem that easy to do it should be but it doesn't seem that easy to do i've had enough of living in the mess if the council carry out their threat to clear the clutter from lawrence's home he will have to bear the cost hello i'm jasmine it hasn't always been like this i don't know tell me about what happened the last time you cleared out well i um some help and uh we cleared most of this room was practically clear i just need to uh start again refresh i can't live like this anymore so i've been going on too long it seems to me that you you're at the stage where you really don't enjoy this environment and but you just sort of feel a bit overwhelmed and definitely don't know how to tackle it because it's a mountain of stuff and you know it won't be easy like wendy life used to be very different for lawrence he too worked abroad for many years as a salesman and tour guide an extrovert he regularly demonstrated kitchenware at trade shows in front of hundreds of people until a few years ago when a bout of depression kicked off his hoarding tell me about the real lawrence what's what kind of place does he really live in probably not here somewhere where i can move about so without so much clutter and no rubbish so i can move about freely um not just this room but i'm in the hole be able to get into the kitchen and use the cooker which i can't at the moment the kitchen is the room lawrence feels most ashamed of it takes a lot of courage for him to even show me behind the curtain he's put up to conceal it i know how difficult this is for you to show me this kitchen but that's awful it's not me i can't get in there i'm i'm telling you laurence yes okay this is a mess but we can help you with it this is not can i put this down there you can put it down it's bad for me yeah it's bad i agree with you it's bad but it's not as though it has to stay like that forever [Music] lawrence is now just the shadow of the man i can see he once was clearing won't get rid of his depression but it would be a start what are your priorities with with this is it is it getting things sorted out inside in your head or is it actually getting the house sorted out all the stuff that lawrence has gathered around him is like a comfort blanket he's almost made a little nest for himself so if you just take all that away it's like stripping him bare and if you don't replace it with some other kind of comfort then there'll always be that tendency to to bring it all back as has happened before to get the house cleared would be one major thing off uh my worries in life to be able to move about and not step on things all the time at least that would be uh one step nearer to a normal life maybe [Music] in south london it's two weeks since wendy agreed she'd move some of her horde out of the house and into a warehouse today's the big day but getting started is proving difficult can i just explain something to you that you might not realize is that what you're anticipating happening is actually not going to be as bad as you think it's going to be so just know it's going to be uncomfortable it may be even be painful but you will come out the other side as long as i don't lose things you can stay exactly as you are if you want to honestly i mean i don't if it's going to tip you over the edge don't do it but i can genuinely say from experience that what you're thinking how you're thinking it's going to feel it's not actually going to feel as bad as all that i'm quite excited in certain ways especially upstairs but don't need such chaos or something okay you see once i start going through things i just don't realize how much i've got we'd agreed that the entire contents of her living room would go to the warehouse but now wendy is trying to control what can be moved and what must stay at home anything like this i don't want to go up i want this to go in the bathroom so hold on what you want is for us to just move this stuff all around the house rather than taking it out i don't want any material things going into the warehouse like the curtains i'll watch you as you do it there's no point i was filling up the bathroom wednesday because then you won't then you'll be in a muddle in the bathroom those are not going into the warehouse and they're going in the bathroom because i thought that the bathroom doesn't matter the bathroom is is clothed and i'm not talking bathroom is closed but it's a bathroom it doesn't matter i'm used to it you can't get in the bath well i get in the back eventually oh nice why don't you like the idea of clothes going to the website okay because it's not necessary i told you the clothes are in the bathroom can i have some more chemicals yes we'll put the clothes upstairs in the bathroom like you've asked but i want you to be aware that there are other alternatives to the way you're doing things because it hasn't worked so far by the people but not for me at the moment jasmine please don't go on at me anymore just leave things as they are okay [Music] i think everybody that hoards has a need to be in control and the need to use the things that they've got they've got them for a reason they can see value in them but it's i think it's even more difficult with wendy because she's absolutely adamant that there is no other way can you clean later once everything is sold then you clean it i want to clean the hoover before i take it out [Music] i mean you went through this with your mother i did and my mum was having psychiatric treatment she was on antidepressants she was having a psychologist once a week and i don't need psychiatrists to tell me okay just screws me up because it brings back the past of my mother and i don't want the past to come back what's the point is that is this another past all around psychosynthesis i'm not going to start analyzing because i know you don't like it yeah please tell me what i mean is for you expect me to change no i don't i what i'm saying is wendy has got a little bit of tunnel vision and that it might be good to take the blinkers more than a little it might be good to take the blinkers off and just say oh okay these people are trying to help me they've made a suggestion i could try it and see how it goes [Music] don't tear that cloth that's the move you torn it you've torn it i know it's probably rotting because it's sitting there for years that's my nice picture there wendy wins the battle to move her clothes to the bathroom but paperwork boxes full of clutter and newspapers are moving out at the end of the day i'm sure she will be happy with that properly because she's my friend she's my friend [Music] [Applause] good [Music] i'm feeling desperate because i can't cope with it i just realized that's the life of my story my life my childhood not coping you know it goes it's something inherent in me i'm not strong like you think i am i appear to be [Music] and you know even having people in the house putting things in boxes and i don't know where anything is i don't know what i've got to do there's so much of it just for one room and he and the bedroom is is three times more stuff in there [Music] for all hoarders the thought of losing their possessions is traumatic but for lawrence with an enforced clearance hanging over him there's little choice [Music] videos the more recycled almost aroused okay but nobody really wants uh videos these days what we're gonna do with that one skip yeah okay yeah yeah skip please we've hired a skip and laurence's horde will be separated into what's recyclable and what can be binned two tvs down brilliant several to go but even with the threat of a massive bill from a forced clearance lawrence is still struggling to let go of some of his broken electrical appliances it might be repairable and usable and uh i've already committed um certain monies to um getting the door what you have to think about is what's your track record of doing that are you going to be hindering yourself more than what that could be worth to you if it's fixed and and way up and then you make the decision yeah it's difficult i mean that's this is the only thing fault well then there's the the temple dryer the tumble dryer and that would be the only one oh and there's a dishwasher in there as well well it seems like the clear out is coming easy to lawrence it just takes one memory of his former life to remind him how bad things have become what's amazing you have been traveling around overseas exhibiting and selling at the equivalent of the ideal home show i worked at the ideal home show in london for eight years did you selling various products yeah bringing tears back to me always again i mean people steaming out and about they think oh there's nothing wrong uh but unfortunately that there has been i mean to have got an estate like this it's not normal and it's not me but here we are hopefully doing something about it or not hopefully we are doing something about it it's a big step yeah when i look at lawrence i just think he doesn't relate to any of this and just finding that photograph you know you can see who he was he was had a responsible job you know he's lived abroad he's done loads of things with his life and for him to have ended up like this is really really sad he shuts that front door and he hides in here and it's like he's almost shut the front door on his emotions at the same time and now you know it's like we've opened the floodgates it's all coming spilling out emotionally and and physically so it's a time of huge change for lawrence one day in and lawrence has made a good dent in his horde he's been here before so we need to make sure this time he doesn't slip back when we get it uh back to a normal liveable state then i'm sure i'm going to feel uh a hundred percent better i mean today yes i do feel a little bit uh better but there's still a way to go but yeah the what we've done today has been brilliant good start now what about this i guess you don't want to anymore great he's starting to uncover all of the take off all these layers that he's built up around him i think he's kind of enjoying it [Music] just being able to release the emotions and to talk about the past and to think that he's got a future ahead of him [Music] in south london we're slowly relocating wendy's downstairs horde to the warehouse but today she's decided to take some of her vast collection of clothes and some more from a friend to charity how long has it taken you to get those two cases ready to go to well 10 years really i haven't looked with them for 10 years [Music] wendy does a huge amount of good work for charity volunteering to help refugees and donating clothes but my worry is that it doesn't help her hoarding allowing her to sort endlessly while not actually tackling her problem wendy wants to go through that stuff bernie do you take a minute no it won't take a minute right does she need to go through it or do you take anything well we'll take it we'll happily take it whatever i just want to see what's in there i'm just putting things as to what they are trying to put together shirts to go i just want to see what's here so obviously what i'm doing isn't it no because all these are probably bags of mixed stuff waiting to be sorted yeah but i oh jasmine for goodness sake isn't it obvious what i'm doing you really get no i just i'm i wasn't sure if you were sorting them into things that were going and things that were going somewhere else or coming back to your house see once i get going i'm very speedy it would be speedier to just leave them i i know i'm annoying you i'm quiet aren't you interested i'm interested i'm a very organized person jasmine you'll see that oh look language socks [Music] [Music] after a three hour round trip and endless arguments over parting with her clothes we finally get back home with two empty suitcases in one sense it was great because she let some stuff go and that's really good and i really want to encourage that but in the other sense it's if that is how we have to get rid of everything it's too time consuming it's too labor intensive and i don't see how we can really make a huge impact if everything's got to be done in that way [Music] it's hard to watch wendy wrestle with her horde her resistance so reminds me of my mum's struggle to clear her hoard from our home thankfully after many years my mum did change but for some hoarders that never happens i've been contacted by two sisters who've spent a lifetime living with their mothers hoarding this door here you couldn't actually get to where did it lead to another room which was full oh couldn't even get up the stairs could wait to get up the stairs chris and maggie grew up in a military family they had many moves throughout their childhood with the family eventually settling in hampshire when their parents separated in the 1970s their mum sheila began to hoard and her house became increasingly difficult to live in but as with many hoarders few people knew to those people who didn't know she had a problem and who had no knowledge of her other life which she hid very well i mean she she she could have a very good smoke screen but she was a really good fun lady she loved partying but she just didn't like throwing things away she had in her head that they were going to have a stream home so she was always collecting wallpaper lamp shades um curtains hundreds of pairs of curtains and carpets for the dream one year i took her two grandsons down to try and remove some stuff from the garage because it was just so full you couldn't get in there and as we tried to get a very very old rotten carpet out into the car to take to the tip she physically became ill you know we're talking about an elderly lady who was having to climb over goodness knows what her heating wasn't working properly because the plumber couldn't get to the pipes it was very sad really because if she hadn't had this hoarding syndrome for want a better word it's my belief she'd still be here today towards the end of her life sheila was suffering from anemia and unable to eat because of an infected tooth her hoarding meant she was confined to living in a small space in her kitchen sleeping at the table or on the floor amongst rotting rubbish the outcome was she had to be admitted to the medical hospital so they could carry out some more tests she wasn't even in there 24 hours but she died in a clean room with clean white sheets and people who cared and she said thank you to them and that was she said thank you to them half an hour before she died [Music] all she wanted was her family near her to come and stay grandchildren to come and stay she got all these rooms in her house but they couldn't get in there it's a little bit like um somebody who's got an alcohol problem or a drug problem where they eventually have to admit that this isn't really what they want and that there's help out there it's like they've lived my worst nightmare they've lived the worst nightmare of any family member of a hoarder nobody deserves to end their days unhappy [Music] living in a home where they can't function that's dirty that's jam-packed so they can't move nobody deserves that [Music] i firmly believe that it was the therapy my mum received alongside the practical help that set her on the road to recovery i want wendy to be given that chance too so i've asked clinical psychologist professor paul salkowskis to meet her so which room is this there's bathroom toilet toilet okay got it wendy's told me she doesn't want to rake up the past but i'm worried she won't make any progress without understanding why she began hoarding i left home when i was 18 i went to french lisa secretary college sent to boarding school around 17 because i was always a problem to my mother and then i worked in a stock brokers then i went to nigeria and i lived in flats i'm going to introduce london i'm going to interrupt you do you find that your thoughts are jumping around a lot oh yeah i always do is that always the case for you yeah it's always the case for you when i think of one thing then i started thinking of something else yeah you're having problems putting things in order in your own mind aren't you a bit trouble is i'm a perfectionist and when i tell you something i have to tell you the whole story the story okay all the details basically my mother wouldn't every draw and every cupboard was full of stuff from the war yeah so i'm telling you wartime never touch anything never twirling away but you've been so ingrained in me you've been obeying that ever since have you it's just where i am you know it's just that it's just the way you are no and what i mean is you choose no no but i mean what i mean is i've never thrown things away all my life i don't know how to just told me i don't know how to throw things away i've got all my diaries from 10 years because in seven years time i'll be able to use that diary again you're drowning in detail aren't you you you're really drowning in detail here well i told you i was going to detail it you're drowning in detail and i don't quite know i'm drowning in everything around me i'm telling you no no it's the same thing but i actually think there's a connection he said i don't actually think that's very funny for you well it's not funny some of this is about how painful it is i think the detail that you're going in is blocking off some of how you feel whenever we talked about anything that might be about how you feel you laugh it off or you go into the detail you go for another tangent i think all my life have shut it out being made to feel the feeling that you were shutting out [Music] i mean i'm guessing there's going to be feelings of loneliness well if you don't relate to people i mean there aren't a man that's a problem you have right you have difficulty relating to people well in all reality i probably never really come to terms with any feelings in my life really because i've always felt out of it i always felt different i've always felt ostracized i always feel i've been misunderstood all my life but wendy you're still living with it and this is one of the ways you're living with it and this this yeah probably the clutter is my life this is the cluster is your life yeah okay there's a good way of putting it but and is that what you want do you want this cluster to be your life of course not yeah well what's the outcome to that i can't change now at 71. i don't believe you can't trace this i believe you can change this you're trapped in a number of ways some of it is in here being trapped in here by some of the things that you've had to go through and it still tumbles out and it tumbles out as you say that there was a lot of pain there the reason that you're thinking the way you're thinking is because you're trying very hard not to sink beneath the surface of what you're really feeling [Music] well we've got kepler's full that's that's that's hoarding in that 2001 crikey [Music] in northamptonshire a week into his clearance and lawrence is making real progress with heather's help he's grasping the opportunity to change and take responsibility for himself have you got a telly that works yeah i've got to tell you that works why do you need another one well i don't but come on let's get rid of it to keep the momentum going a couple of friends are here to help great unveiling yeah the great unveiling just start there okay start there like plastic recycling what's on the other end oh yeah throw that one laurence's situation is a is a perfect example of a lot of people that i see they have lost their way they've become paralyzed by their belongings they've over acquired for whatever reason usually to make them feel better but with help once you make a start that's what it is it's it's breaking the back of silence isolation shame and once that happens um it's just magical really i just got to the stage where enough is enough and uh i want my house back i want the space back i want to be able to live want to be able to use the kitchen it's gone piece of my life in some respects but not a piece of my life i want to remember really [Music] [Music] in south london after four days of shuttling van loads from wendy's house to the warehouse even a knee injury won't stop her seeing her ground floor possessions laid out for the first time right is that all my stuff here we are this is that's just one room [Music] what's that metal thing over there a big pot by the look of it is that mine yeah where did that come from i don't know somewhere in your house well i'll tell you half the things in here i won't recognize we haven't done the bedroom yet there's far more in the bedroom than there wasn't sitting are you surprised that how much there's there is here absolutely amazed this is only the sitting room 20 years immediately it becomes clear just how painstakingly meticulous wendy is when it comes to sorting through her horde can you give me another small box or bag these are the things that i'll take home and go to when i'm watching telly and there's one collection which is going to be a real wrench for her i would love if you gave me some newspapers i need about eight nine ten i need at least ten pallets of newspapers for a paper mache sculpture i'm making are you serious come on come on pull the other leg oh my god jasmine i feel great because i've got space around me how come you like space when you're not at home but you're not sure about it when you are i just have that feeling it's just this space but it's nice nothing in it oh it's fantastic it's necessary look that's a house i nearly bought in putney i wanted to move wendy needs to work really slowly i mean it's going to take an age i don't even know how it's going to happen because right now the little bit of paperwork that she was sorting well all of it's gone back into boxes to go back to the house to be sorted [Music] [Music] don't put anything in any bag without me seeing it please i'm not saying i'm going to keep it but i just want to see what's there look there's a john williams cd box in the rubbish max a week into sorting in the warehouse and wendy is still struggling to part with any of her possessions she's going through everything in detail and not addressing the pressing issue of the newspapers if you could let go of this in one go what does one go mean like you said okay it's all going just bring the van in it's all going if you could not yet not yet not yet and by the end of the day it begins to overwhelm her listen think about nowhere on this came from i've never seen these things but if you've never seen them before then don't bother looking through them you haven't i'll look through them for you if you haven't seen them and you don't have any attachment to them then i can sort them for you you don't have to do it it's only things you recognise [Music] before she's finished sorting through the warehouse wendy decides to divert her attention to the clutter upstairs in her house but as ever she's captivated by her possessions conscientious with an eye for detail that's me now seeking a career restart opportunity using newly acquired computer skills i think that's quite a good cv isn't it oh letters to people i never sent now that's a typical thing of course oh my god jigsaw puzzle oh look at that isn't that amazing oh but it's too small oh well no i mean and then i find something beautiful like this and of course maybe it makes the whole thing worthwhile i don't know this place smells so do you everything smells in this house according to you you don't have to help it's better yeah i know there's another armchair here you know i've got two arm chests of course [Music] if wendy's going to make progress at home she's going to have to make some tough calls about her possessions i'm just worried now i'm worried i didn't know that all this stuff was here it's absolute nightmare to me i'm beginning to almost despair this it's so much worse than i could have ever imagined although clearing can bring trauma for a hoarder sometimes the space that's left behind is just as difficult to deal with [Music] lawrence's efforts have averted a clearance from the council but i want to find out how he's coping mentally it's been very hard the last couple of weeks uh it's your depression yeah big time are you feeling worse more depressed now than you were before um no i don't know no i don't think so no um that's that's good yeah that is a good step so you know i would think about ideas not just for the clearing part of it but for everything you know how you're gonna get laurence back yeah exactly i mean that's the the next step as it were the thing is with lawrence i wonder if he thought if all the mess goes then all my problems will go now that's the house is you know largely clear and the sort of problems inside the emotional upset the sort of lack of motivation that kind of thing might still be there so we have to also work towards getting some systems in place for him some support networks you know some something to keep lawrence upbeat getting up out of bed in the morning and some self-esteem i've arranged for him to see clinical psychologist dr victoria breme oldfield to see if she can give him a plan to deal with this spiral the bad sort of feeling is that i haven't done any more and i feel quite guilty about not i don't know it sort of seems that i get up i watch television and go to bed and that's it and i shouldn't be doing that i should be carrying on with the clearing of my bedroom in the back room and the second bedroom right it sounds like you are being very tough on yourself and you are feeling bad and you know uh in your experience how easy is it to get difficult things done when you're feeling bad and beating yourself up not very easy really no if you're the same as everyone else then yeah that's the case if you get out of bed in the morning and berate yourself and are tough on yourself that she's going to really lessen the chances of you getting everything else done i guess that's a really important thing um we need to take forward harry how are you feeling just now because you look you're looking pretty troubled upset again yeah what were you thinking about just then or what was it something i said that touched a nerve being able to get up at all until very late in the afternoon and i feel bad about that as well and i guess maybe what we could kind of be on the lookout for is what what's keeping that going and if there's anything we can sort of start to do that's going to help you to feel a bit more able to get our bed in the morning and start doing things in your day that are going to keep your spirits up a bit keep you feeling a bit more like there's something enjoyable you're doing in the day and something where you can feel a bit of that sense of achievement and satisfaction having done something in in your house or or elsewhere other things that you want to be getting on with in your life does that sound sort of a reasonable suggestion [Music] i think lawrence will gain a huge amount from ongoing therapy he's just at the start of his long recovery from hoarding [Music] and that's what wendy's progress on the same journey seems to have stalled after a month of micro sorting in the warehouse what remains is due to come home today to make space for her newly sorted possessions to return she needs to let some things hear go i've come to make one last appeal it's always going to be difficult it was the same with my mum the day that we had to get out it was so stressful it was you know we there were tears it was a nightmare but i think if i can only help wendy to see that actually letting go will be pleasurable actually she will gain so much she's got to think about what she's gaining not what she thinks she's losing because actually all she's losing is stuff that weighs her down hi wendy hi jasmine how are you well i don't want to answer that question i'm surviving surviving i'm not as young as i was and i can't cope i need to know that i am here to help my eyes closed from 1950. what do you want done with them they're going to bath really well because this one's got to be cleared to bring stuff into it will have to be filed up again i'm here is that really what you want to do wendy pile everything back up i don't i know i can see i can see that it's a lot of stress no they've all got to go upstairs okay wendy is adamant that nothing more can go from the house despite desperately needing to make space for what's coming back how can i help you now just stuff things in bags and just stuff things in bags okay i'm not gonna actually space [Music] and they can't go in here when all this junk is on the table i'm just trying to make space why can't you see that sorry i'm sorry i'm just saying i i would rather not i would rather we didn't have to put them all in jasmine i don't want to do this either do you really think i want to do this myself of course i don't know alternative just can't have it anymore it's very difficult this is not a solution just putting everything into bags and throwing it in the corner or putting on the bed that's probably how it started 20 years ago [Music] the final trip to the warehouse can't be put off any longer there is some light after struggling for weeks to let go of her single biggest hoard the bags upon bags of newspapers wendy's asked us to get rid of them after blocking her hallway and dominating the house for 17 years at the warehouse they're packed up and ready to go wendy that's pretty amazing [Music] would you imagine all of that newspaper started to go [Music] the newspapers the newspapers i was amazed that she just didn't buy an eyelash when those newspapers went i thought there might be some drama or other but nothing getting rid of her precious newspapers will create much needed space at wendy's and she's managed to part with about a third of the rest of her possessions in the warehouse she's made progress but the echoes of her past are never far away this is the record of my birth the only thing that happened to me and my mother was such a perfectionist very cheerful happy child always loved going places very mischievous into everything always but everyone always made a bust off loved airways until we got to bomb and then on got frequent nightmares she got turned out of one place after another and each time we moved she got worse i got very bitter about it all as especially said she wouldn't get better till we really settled now i wanted to read that when my mother never told me that she was a very very fastidious good kind woman my mother but there was no love between us and my friend there's masses of things all about my childhood when i was i'm sure you can enjoy reading through all of that now rediscovered it the month in the warehouse has been really tough for wendy but by letting her newspapers go and engaging with her past i think she's taken a big step forward it has been funny at times stressful at times heartbreaking at times but this is [Music] it's a work in progress i just hope that wendy feels like some progress has been made and that she will keep going with it i just don't want to find that she's stagnated and nothing's changed because she's been intending to do things with all of these possessions for decades we'll see [Music] when i met lawrence four months ago he was at his wit's end his house was full of rubbish and old electrical appliances now i've come for one last time to check on his progress i'm excited i've heard good things right oh my god it looks like almost like a you know a proper front room you can sit down you've got space yeah that's they've got a little bit of sorting out to do but it's about stuff that you're keeping yeah yeah just need to go through sorting are you ready for this this is this will be a big shock i think i was going to move that but this is amazing so how's it been having a working kitchen it's great fantastic i've got my microwave and i've got my other cooker with the two hot plates there that i use um yeah it's it's great fantastic come and have a look down here i've actually never been beyond that point before oh but yeah no it's fantastic having my space back um i mean obviously when i get i hope i hope i can get it even better than it is at the moment yeah of course you can um have you been able to get on with anything when you haven't had other people here or other people coming round i hate to say i haven't done anything i haven't been able to do anything why is that i don't know depression i just haven't managed to um motivate yourself yeah motivate myself as we spoke to victoria and she said well don't beat yourself up i do beat myself up because i feel guilty that i haven't done anything on my own we've been talking right from the start about getting the old lawrence back but i think even in reinventing the new lawrence is probably even better because things have changed and you've had a lot of different experiences yeah and and really the world is your oyster for lawrence clearing his horde is just the start of the journey to discovering what life could be with a proper home to live in in south london two months after we moved her possessions back from the warehouse wendy is at home and i've come for one final visit wendy yes hi [Music] hello i reckon in here wendy there's probably about 70 percent less than there was the first time i came here yes because do you remember it was just a tiny little guy i know i know you couldn't get there was a little tiny bit of yes i know here it's amazing [Music] there's still a lot of stuff at wendy's but she's made a start which is often the hardest step of all the thing is as long as i'm getting to bed i've got my body exactly i mean you can actually get into bed before it was up to here and it was up to the ceiling i honestly never expected you to let go of so much stuff all those newspapers all the clothes that's gone giovanni was absolutely right giovanni was flabbergasted the day i let the newspapers go he really was he was speechless he just couldn't believe it and her best friend giovanni is doing his bit to keep her going with regular encouragement you've done well so far but only for but only for your sake remember you can never take your stuff with you forever love you do you know that is a true friend who is saying to you do it because actually you can't you have to do it for your own sake nobody else i think for somebody who just felt they were worthless now she's starting to acknowledge her successes all of the hoarders i've met they feel ostracized from their families and from society but actually what they need is not judgment they need support and with the right support miracles can happen [Music] [Music] you

Channel: True Lives

Views: 33,764

Keywords: our life, documentary, world documentary, documentary channel, award winning, life stories, best documentaries, daily life, real world, point of view, story, full documentary, documentaries, real life, hoarders, britain's biggest hoarders, britains biggest hoarders, biggest hoarders, hoarding, extreme hoarders, hoarders documentary, hoarder, hoarding documentary, extreme hoarding, jasmine harman

Id: wtS-AXhbDWw

Length: 58min 47sec (3527 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 22 2022