"I Googled the Definition of a Feminist" - Dave Chappelle

baseball yeah Nickelback is actually hard all right guys so we just did Bill Burr what was it called uh uh like yeah like why he didn't like white women or something like that there's a pillow so we did Bill Burr uh let's talk about one minute uh that was pretty insane that was pretty soon he talked about it funny exactly he talked about women so let's see what Dave Chappelle got to say about him yo love comparing people man I mean I do because you it's some better reactions trace your IP address and beat you with a sock with a battery in it well that's pretty harsh friend it's pretty hard oh my goodness we do a lot of comparing uh oh how are you listening they love talk about in the comment section so I'm Gonna Keep preparing they love talking about I read it on them they'd be like they like it they like the bait I said all right but you've been doing that anyways though that's what I'm saying see what Dave got Dave what the hell this shirt man talking about the right thing and do you know the dictionary definition I Googled the dictionary definition of the feminism sure I was talking about the right thing and do you know sir but the dictionary definition of a feminist is I didn't either listen to this Webster's defines a feminist as a human being not a woman a human being that believes in equal rights for women I'm shocked that that's what that meant because by that definition I would consider myself a feminist and I didn't even know that at the time frumpy Dyke boy grumpy Dyke what do you say all these years I thought it meant frumpy diet she's always talking to me some [Music] chicken overalls you mean they're trying to rape us nah not you [ __ ] no I said not you no I know look listen listen I I support the feminist movement I do in my own ways when you guys did the women's March I tried to go and support you and none of my friends would go with me and it's all the fellas another one to go I tried everything come on y'all was gonna be [ __ ] that it was like nope because I was Netflix special so what I did is I called my friend Ang is a black woman who's a comedy writer and she's dope matter of fact matter of fact she's the only woman that I know personally that pays her ex-husband alimony and she sounds just like a man when she does it that broke [ __ ] all that she says all that [ __ ] are you going to the women's March and she texts me back and this is real text she said she said I hope those white women get tear gas there's a problem in that feminist movement isn't there from its Inception in America there's always been a racial component when Susan B Anthony was having that meeting and Sojourner truce black ass showed up here's your history books all the white women ass Sojourner Truth not to speak they didn't want to conflate the issues of women's rights and slavery it should have back because Sojourner Truth went up there anyway she's a famous speech she said ain't I a woman ain't I a woman that's right and listen listen listen I I supported the metoo movement but but the whole time the whole time I thought that the way they handled that was stupid foreign they were doing [ __ ] like going to the Golden Globes and all of them would be like let's all go to the Golden Globes and wear black dresses to give these men a piece of our minds [ __ ] that is not gonna work you think Martin Luther King's gonna be like I want everybody to keep riding the bus but we're matching outfits you got to get off the bus and walk it's real talk a real talk that was a silly movement I want everybody to wear a crochet hat so they know we're serious hey what's y'all doing man chill out and then I said something about it in one of my specials and all these women actresses came after me I said man y'all too you cancer I ain't jerking off in none of your pictures again bro who is he to tell us anything I'll tell you exactly who I am I am the one that got off the bus and left 50 million dollars on the bus that was a point I agree with these women I just didn't agree with what they would do in about right right no it was annoying because if these women were serious you know what they would have done they all would have fired their agents and they would have went to the mail room of one of these big agencies and found a woman that was busting her up in there and said if you want to talk to us and you have to talk to her and if they did and she would be big and they would be big and nobody would get fed to Harvey Weinstein did they do that was that their idea no surprisingly it was mine when I think the feminist movement needs to be very successful as a male leader I'll do it I will I will lead you women to Promised Land I will make sure you get equal pay paperwork I will make sure that nobody harasses you or fuss with you on the job I will protect all of your interests and all that I ask for in return was that you suck my dick and now we get to the core of the crisis oh man what what is a woman what is that in this day and time is there even such thing as a woman or a man or anything hmm seems to be a question nowadays I don't think so man now listen women get mad at me baby will get mad at me lesbians get mad at me but I'm gonna tell you right now this is true these transgenders these [ __ ] want me dead I gotta tell you I'm very worried about it I'm not even joking every time I come out on stage I'd be scared I'll be looking around the crowd searching for Knuckles and Adam's apples to see where the threats might be coming from he said Productions what's going on foreign [Music] [Music] to the suffering of someone else his laws the mean laws in our country North Carolina passed along once they said a person in North Carolina must use the restroom that corresponds with the gender they were assigned on their birth certificate I don't like that why not no no no no does that mean like you don't want them to go you do want that bro right the bathroom no but I think he's saying like so like he's saying he has to go yeah oh yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah no they were not doing that in the South now he was saying it's not fair no that's not a good law that's a mean law no American should have to present a birth certificate to take a [ __ ] at Walmart in Greensboro North Carolina with a baby shot and killed a [ __ ] you have to ask yourself if you're thinking about it who are these laws designed to protect like let's say they designed this law to protect me my interests transphobic comedian Dave Chappelle and let's say that I'm I'm in Walmart uh doing a little shopping with my family now I should tell you if that ever happens in real life you should know my dreams didn't work out but let's say something goes horribly wrong and there I am in Walmart with the poor whites rummaging around for mediocre goods and services and then I gotta go to the restroom so I excuse myself for my family I go to the men's room now I'm standing at the urinal taking a leak and and and this is what this law is going to do and suddenly a woman walks into the men's room I'm the best strange and then she stands shoulder to shoulder with me at the urinal I'm like what's going on with you stirred up the polls of real life me I said maybe bro thanks for skoda it pose a real life [Music] what do you think I'm gonna say [Music] thank God she's in here with me now I know my family's safe he's crazy bro no I'm not gonna feel that way at all I'm gonna feel very uncomfortable I would feel better if it was a man with a vagina backed up to the urinal next to me I don't feel angle I don't feel more I don't even think about that that's like that's funny that's great this guy is peeing out of his butt for some reason oh my God he must be a veteran thank you very easy oh man they got me bro all right we threw the adjective media there that made his kids out that was bad but real meaty I said oh that's pretty funny oh man what oh you must be a veteran thank you yeah all right after that last pill I said hey build a child back up but then they just shot back up all the way again now hey we can't compare bro I'm sorry hey yeah we gotta compare It Go people can we compare Kobe and LeBron not really not really yeah we do not them too we're repairing LeBron and Jordan yeah yeah that was hilarious guys oh that [ __ ] was too funny man oh my gosh I love this stuff man found some more good comedians that you guys let us know you guys feel like Dave is the best life he's one of the best like let us know before you find somebody that's better today we're out of here

Channel: CartierFamily

Views: 261,392

Keywords: DaveChappelle, Comedy

Id: k8rYytIOCq4

Length: 14min 5sec (845 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 10 2023