I Embarrassed Family When I Kicked Out Brother For Handing His Wedding Invitations On Wife's Funeral

people what's your toxic sibling story my male 39 wife of six years passed away from breast cancer three weeks ago it's devastating and i'm barely holding it together i used to sleep either at the hospital or my dad and stepmom's house he supported me at the time i have a 29 year old half brother my brother's wedding is in three months when i came out from the hospital and sat and cried he brought up the wedding planning with his mom and talked about the venue and menu and ignored me he made backhanded comments i can't imagine this happening to my fiance saying i'm not doing enough constantly comparing me to him and how he would have done more i stopped going i'd rather sit alone in an empty house than listen to him at the funeral he came with my stepmom his phone didn't stop ringing everyone noticed then later when the guests were sitting inside the house he kept asking about certain relatives to see if they came i was with my dad at the time once the gas started leaving i saw my brother standing by the door handing guests envelopes then shaking their hands when they walked out i didn't know what he was handing them i walked up to him and asked him he showed me invitations for his wedding that he was handing out to guests i was stunned and i asked if he was serious he said there were some relatives and family that lives out of town who came to the funeral and he wanted to do an actual hand delivery from his hand to theirs saying mailing invitations didn't feel proper i lashed out at him and he said no one noticed so it was no big deal he just wanted to make sure everyone got an invitation since the whole family was there i was so mad no wonder the guests gave me weird looks before walking out what's worse is that my wife's family saw this and were upset i felt awful and embarrassed i was infuriated i yelled at him and told him to leave immediately my dad and stepmom and others got involved but he left after i insisted my dad berated him but said that this is how he is being insensitive my stepmom said that i shouldn't have kicked him out in front of everyone her side of the family and disrespecting the family she said no one was noticing and that he thought this was an opportunity for him to make sure they know about his wedding i argued with her and other family members for hours about it my dad's side of the family said they were upset because of what he did and my stepmom's side of the family were upset i kicked him out my stepmom is now contacting me to get to talk to my brother and get right with him my stepmom says that i have embarrassed the family in front of everyone by kicking him out like that that it was not good for their reputation holy moly you are not wrong your brother was being an idiot since when is mailing wedding invites not proper and your stepmom is as well the sheer nerve of accusing you of disrespecting family given bro shameful behavior at your wife's funeral and at the house afterwards if she wants you and your brother to get right she needs to get on his butt to apologize i'm so sorry for your loss and for having to deal with this stupidity if anyone embarrassed your family it was your brother not you they told me kicking him out was extreme yet saw nothing wrong with him doing what he was doing excusing his behavior saying that no one noticed but he was giving the invitations to guests who came to mourn and extend their condolences i'm not even sure if they think that i was okay with that but their looks were telling honestly you did your brother a favor what he did was incredibly classless and your stepmother should be tripping over herself to thank you for covering up for her idiot sons faux pas i've actually never heard of personally handing out wedding invitations i actually feel like half brother was doing it more for attention than for any other reason like how dare my family not focus on me don't they know i'm getting married i would have done the same thing ob did but i'd also be mad at my father for enabling brother and stepmom's behavior dad needs to step in now and tell his wife and son to apologize and stop weaponizing their side of the family i do wonder what brother's fiance would think about what brother did i'd be mortified if my wedding invitations were handed out at a funeral i 24 female i'm close to my brother 29 but he's pretty unreliable he is late for absolutely everything everyone in our family knows this background a few weeks ago our sister 27 got into a terrible car accident she spun out on black ice a semi-truck hit her head-on and she ended up in hospital her little car was totally and completely crushed it's a miracle that she's alive and we're all so grateful that it turned out okay well this incident really shook me up and gave me a wake-up call i've been extremely nervous to drive after seeing my sister's total car so i have been super careful i go the exact speed limit or under i keep longer lengths between myself and other cars i don't do anything risky at all i know it sounds a bit paranoid but the accident is still so fresh for our family a few days ago my brother had a job interview in another state he asked me to drive him to the airport in the morning and i agreed when my brother told me what time to pick him up i said i didn't think he gave himself enough time i told him i'd pick him up 30 minutes earlier as i refused to speed for him i reminded him of our sister's accident and how i'm trying to be more careful driving on icy roads he told me i was crazy but he agreed to be ready at that time the morning of his flight i arrived at the agreed time of course in typical fashion my brother was running late we ended up leaving an hour later than he had planned because he wasn't fully ready the whole ride to the airport my brother was yelling and swearing at me to speed up because he was going to miss his flight i went slightly over the speed limit but i told him i didn't feel comfortable going faster in traffic also the roads were slick i started panicking he continued to huff and puff and flip out at me when we got to the airport he grabbed his bags and sprinted inside i left he ended up texting me that he missed his flight and that i ruined his job opportunity for being a stupid witch he won't talk to me at all now i feel really bad for making him miss his flight and job interview but i won't apologize for being careful after our sister got into a traumatizing accident am i the idiot as the old saying goes lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part you told him you'd pick him up at a certain time and he was an hour late accident or no he's the one who was responsible with his time management you are not the idiot from what i've read he was an hour late to his original time so he was late for 90 minutes you are not wrong opie you are not the idiot you didn't make him late by driving the speed limit he made himself late by not being ready on time it's completely his fault and he is looking to lash out at you because he's refusing to take responsibility for his own actions i mail 30 i'm going straight to the point i have a sister 25 whose dream was to marry a rich guy no joke she dreamed of marrying rich since she was a kid we live in a pretty affluent town so isn't an impossible dream the logic behind this dream is that she is too lazy to get a job literally she is very vocal about how tiring getting a job is now into the story my sister at the age of 20 managed to marry with a rich guy mark fake name who came from very old family money and is also a high-ranking businessman the nicest guy i ever met mark had a little accident when he was a kid basically speaking he literally lost his balls to a dog so suffice to say he can't have kids and my sister knew this long story short after two years of marriage on a beautiful summer day my sister announced she was pregnant and tried to convince mark that it was a miracle baby no joke i was there mark didn't buy that and demanded to know the truth well turns out my sister was having a six-month affair with a high school sweetheart who we are going to call billy billy 26 is the embodiment of a deadbeat you still live with his parents can't keep a job for more than a few months drinks like a fish and smokes cigar and herbs like a chimney when the miracle baby tactic didn't work she tried the it was a mistake and if you love me you will forgive me and take care of this kid tactics suffice to say mark kicked her out and since she was fully dependent on him and signed a prenup common custom in mark's family she was left with nothing cut to now my niece the sweetest girl i ever met is almost two years old and lives with me since my sister and billy were considered unfit to be parents and i didn't want my niece to go to foster care my sister is trapped in a dead-end job and almost unable to sustain herself billy is in jail for sugar dealing my sister had been begging for help with the bills and rent and i firmly refused because her stupidity isn't my problem she also begged me to let her niece live with her i'm also not doing this because my sister lives in a very bad neighborhood my sister has supervised visitations which i pick her up to attend the visitations but i'm also the one deciding where the visitations were to happen and they are either at my house or a public place and since i'm still friends with mark who loves my niece and took it upon himself to be the cool uncle she also begs me to help her to reconcile with him which i also refuse my entire family calls me cruel for doing this and they tell me to at least give some help to my sister and i always told them that it's not my responsibility to help my sister to pay for her own stupidity and now that she has to get out of this crap herself because my only responsibility is my niece who is innocent in all of this and if they are so concerned about my sister they can pull their money together and help her but for them this is not their problem since she is my sister so reddit am i the idiot not the idiot your sister sounds like a people user save that money and spend it on your niece your sister can support herself at least especially if she's requesting her daughter back she needs to feel the price of her poor decisions not the idiot the sister is a classic gold digger who is too stupid to practice safe intimacy when cheating on her meal ticket miracle baby lol she fully deserves everything that has happened to her since and is so lucky to have a sibling who is willing to take on the responsibility of raising her innocent child opi has done everything anyone could expect from a decent human being in these circumstances and deserves praise not complaints from the family who should take responsibility for allowing one of their children to grow up greedy and entitled they tell me to at least give some help to my sister you are you're taking care of her child and making sure she's okay and gets to live a decent life you've taken that off of her plate she can easily obtain a job or two and get herself a decent apartment to better herself so that her niece can go back to living with her family can also help her financially you are not obliged to do more than you have you are not wrong i 20 female live with my best friend and roommate i have a sister 21 a brother 23. my sister and i have a pretty rocky relationship and i don't like having her in my space living with her for 18 years was hard enough and i swore i would never do it again she always wants something and is pretty toxic accusing people of doing stuff to her and turning her back on people some examples she befriended the girl who bullied me for years and brought her home for christmas my last year living with my parents this is a girl who bullied me to the point my parents had to change my school and then she cyber bullied me her best friend's stepbrother treated her badly for existing and she ended up dating him and telling her best friend to get over herself then told everyone her best friend was a selfish baby for trying to interfere in her love life more recently she told our parents that she found out i broke the cell phone they bought her when she started high school but actually she sold it so they would buy her a better one and she used the money on makeup so she is now a single mom and she was kicked out of her place before christmas she asked to stay with me and i said no i told her to go to our parents our parents were disappointed and said i should have lesser stay at least for a night they then wanted to know if i would let them all come for christmas and i said no i told her and them that she is not welcome in my home because i don't trust her they think i'm being really unkind i just don't want to be around her toxic my brother says i'm doing the right thing even though he never had issues with her but he knows she doesn't care about screwing people over and would never consider their feelings she told me if i won't let her into my home then i can never have a relationship with her daughter i told her that was her choice as her daughter's mom am i wrong you are not wrong you don't have to justify or explain it's your place your parents probably didn't want at their place she can suck it up because she burned the bridge you guys had unless she shows improvement you owe her nothing even if she does somehow become a better person people can change opie is still in no way obligated family is important but family is also what you make it she owes her sister nothing you are not wrong here beyond my comprehension that your parents have enabled her toxic behavior and expect you to suck it up and invite a snake into your home you are protecting yourself not being unkind my sister falls for pyramid schemes and multi-level marketing companies a lot i'm currently pregnant with my second baby who is both an accident and a miracle my first was extremely hard to conceive i ballooned up overnight around week 22 i'm currently at 32 weeks and frankly i'm huge sis hops from scheme to scheme determined to make one work i don't buy any of her stuff even though she complains that she supports my husband's business but we don't do the same for her my husband has an actual small business her current shill is weight loss smoothies and essential oils two different companies she contacted me via facebook and we got to talking but the conversation kept veering back to her products and my pregnancy she knows my first birth was traumatic for me and my daughter and has mentioned several times how her oils are so relaxing and good for the mind and body and can help with a variety of ailments and that they aren't natural and approved for all ages i kept saying no and she led up but later on kept posting about her postpartum baby weight loss crap and tagged me along with other women who were either pregnant have newborns that she knows i didn't appreciate the implication so i asked her to stop tagging me she stopped but over the holidays sent me a sampling disguised as a gift of her favorite oils and smoothie flavors they all seem nonsense to me and i'm uninterested she asked how i like them and i said i haven't tried them yet and wasn't going to well pregnant or ever she kept pressuring me to support her small business during these hard times and said she was just looking out for me and my baby's health that sent me off since she is absolutely doing this out of selfishness rather than some phony concern i posted on facebook warning people of awful companies right now that prey on people's fear of disease and illness a need for cash and posted some articles debunking a few of the popular pyramids one of my sisters was in the post she texted me upset saying i was trying to sabotage her business and her family's income she just wants to be her own boss and be an entrepreneur so she says but the constant pestering and pressure at a stressful time is not wanted our mother doesn't understand multi-level marketing schemes and always buys her crap and is on her side saying i'm being negative for no reason and wanted to fail and of course i should be grateful for the weight loss stuff since i've gained a lot of weight i'm getting sick of all this drama sis and i don't always get along but this is some middle school stuff and we're both in our 30s am i overreacting though you are not wrong god this stuff could be really dangerous for a pregnant woman some of those oils foods could start natural termination or damage baby in utero there are degrees you can do for aromatherapy and essential oils even if you wanted to buy them you go to a professional same as a dentist or a gynecologist just reply back i don't support multi-level marketing ad infinitum you are not the idiot oils are great they smell nice and smoothies taste good but mlm is a scam and she's being seriously rude anyway worrying about losing weight while still pregnant is ridiculous and shouldn't be anywhere near your radar fyi i was huge when i was pregnant like one day i was normal pregnant and then boom huge the morning after my daughter was born i was down 42 pounds it was basically all water and baby i'm a 36 year old woman and my brother carl name changed is 38 and has three kids i don't have kids nor do i want them carl and i have never been on good terms and honestly i cannot stand his brats they're rude entitled and manipulative the oldest one is known to bully other kids the middle one is known for throwing things when she doesn't get away and the youngest one drowned a hamster when the hamster was found dead in their bath my brother and his wife actually laughed and said something like oh he's just a kid for this reason those three kids are not allowed to come to my home but i have a great relationship with my cousin's kids my three cousins have five kids between them and i love spoiling them this christmas and new year i couldn't go visit them for obvious reasons so i just sent each of them presents that they would like every year our entire family celebrates christmas together at either my parents or at my uncle's place on those occasions i give my brother's kids presents too admittedly i don't spend too much money on their gifts if each of my cousin's kids get three presents from me my brother's kids get just one each but this year i wasn't physically near them i didn't bother to get them anything at all my brother's wife got to know about the gifts i had sent my cousin's kids and threw a hissy fit she and my brother complained to my parents as if they themselves were a pair of little kids my parents have told me i'm being cruel i told them i can spend my money however i want i'm not going to waste it on people i don't really like my brother has been texting me telling me i'm a terrible aunt i just texted back some funny emojis lol tell me am i the idiot for not getting my brother's spawn something not the idiot the fact that your sister-in-law threw a fit over something that was none of her business to begin with isn't your fault or problem they are grown adults and if they want their children to have gifts they can buy them i'm assuming they are your parents only grandchildren so they are probably spoiled enough as it is and did they buy you anything probably no so why did they just expect you to buy the kids something the kids probably didn't even notice or care entitlement at its finest you are all idiots here except the kids because their behavior is most likely a reflection of the adult idiot surrounding them your brother and his wife are wrong because no one should demand a gift and it sounds like they've done a poor job of teaching their kids how to regulate their emotions you're wrong because you think your dislike for your brother entitles you to treat his children as second-class family members i'm less concerned with your lack of presence this year than i am with your disclosure that when all the cousins are together you give half of them three plus expensive presents and the other half one inexpensive gift i just don't understand the desire to be cruel here [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 93,494

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit sister, reddit brother, reddit wedding, reddit sister wedding, reddit wedding invitation, reddit wedding guest, reddit money, reddit sister stole money

Id: i4zLKf3aAzQ

Length: 19min 56sec (1196 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 07 2021