Hypersexuality and bipolar disorder, it's not a sex addiction. Why does it happen? That's what I'm gonna talk to
you day about in this video. I'm Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I publish weekly videos about mental health education
and self-improvement. If you don't wanna miss
one, click Subscribe and the notification button. I've gotten a few requests
to talk about this topic. And there's a lotta different directions that I could've gone with this,
but I decided to talk about some of the ways that
hypersexuality can manifest. Now, keep in mind, this is a
very individual experience, and I realize that I don't
know how it is for everyone. Hypersexuality is one of the
symptoms that you can see in the manic phase of bipolar disorder. And for more on bipolar
disorder, check out the playlist that I have in the corner. What we consider hypersexual
is somewhat relative. One person who has the desire to have sex everyday may seem hypersexual to the person who's good
for just once a month. But that's not really what this is about. When a person becomes manic, it's like a car that's, car engine that's just idling too high. And everything is moving
faster, your thoughts, your impulses, and this
affects your judgment and your decision making. And your sexuality is
just one of those parts of your identity. It's a basic primal
desire that everyone has. Everyone has some degree of sexual desire. You may suppress it because
of social conventions and expectations, but it's there. And it's similar to your basic
desire to attach to people. Everyone has some degree of
need to attach to someone else. Okay, so when a person becomes manic, it's like your engine is tuned
up and these primal needs and desires increase. It's like having an increased
appetite for different things, not just sex, but lots of things. You can, and if you combine
this increased appetite with fast moving thoughts,
poor impulse control, poor insight and
judgment, what do you get? You get unrestrained
gratification seeking. And there's different
ways that this can look. It can look like someone who decides that they're gonna start a new company that solves a unique problem
that no one else can solve. And so you withdraw all of
your money out of your savings and invest it into some
process that's gonna kickstart your company and help you
just change the industry. Or you can have the urge to
speak to someone important in your life about something,
and you just have to speak to them right now and, and
get this question answered, even if it means pulling this person out of an important meeting
because you just really need to speak to them right now. Can you get a picture in your mind of what this person may be feeling? So with hypersexuality, you start with your basic sexual needs, and then there's this
ramped up energy around it that creates this urge that
you just can't control. It's like having an itch
in the middle of your back, and you find something to scratch at it, and it feels kinda good, but there's just still this one spot that you just can't find,
and it's still itching. So you're scratching all around but this one spot is still there. I use that example because
the scratching feels good, but you're also over-scratching
parts of your body. So the inability to get it
all satisfied feels bad. So you feel good and bad simultaneously. If you look from the outside,
as a person not affected by mania, it may just seem
like the manic person is just having fun. Good for you, that you've
got all that energy. But it's not all fun. And for many people, it
doesn't feel that good. Or the feel good is very temporary. And many people will have a lotta shame when the mania goes away because, unlike a sexual addiction,
the hypersexuality of mania is only present
during the manic episode. So after that passes, they go back to their usual behavior,
whatever that was. And, often, with bipolar disorder,
the opposite mood follows. So mania will be followed by depression, either immediately, or some time later. So if a person who was hypersexual while they were manic then gets depressed, their sex drive is shot. And they're completely the opposite. In fact, this may be a
period of mourning the losses and the damages that they
created during their manic phase. What are the ways that people can behave when they become hypersexual? It can be increased sexual activity, either with your partner,
or multiple partners, or even strangers. A person who would otherwise never consider being
unfaithful could have an affair during this period, not only
because of the increased urges, but the poor judgment,
the trouble controlling their impulses, and even a
misperception of their world and what's going on around them. It's like they can just get
this tunnel vision that, and nothing else exists except
them and the other person or other people. But not everyone has sex
with multiple partners. Some people masturbate
excessively, and I say excessively because it is considered
normal to masturbate. But some people will just lose track of time watching pornography
and masturbating all day. Here's a more subtle
way it can look though. Some people can get caught
up in their sexual fantasies, such that they neglect
their responsibilities. Or it distracts them from
getting their work done, so they're not performing
well at work or at school. And these are just some examples of how you could have
hypersexuality that's problematic, but it doesn't involve
having sex with someone. So what do we do about this? The main solution is to treat the episode. As I mentioned before, if the
hypersexuality is from mania and not from a sexual disorder, when the mania dies down, the
hypersexuality also dies down. You don't become non-sexual, your baseline sexuality
is just reigned back in. So it's important to recognize early signs of your manic episodes. Even if you're fairly
stable on your medication, you can still have breakthrough episodes. So this can be important
to look for early signs to see your doctor to have
your medication tweaked. Not sleeping and hypersexuality are often early signs for people. And sleep deprivation and mania is like lighter fluid on a fire. It's one of, it's one of the ways that manic episodes can escalate. If you have a partner
and you have an affair during an episode, you should get some couples therapy so that you and your partner can have, can
better understand what happened. Then, the burden is on
you to keep yourself well and to continue to look
for the early signs so that you don't repeat the behavior. Because in the throes of a
manic episode, the judgment goes out the window. And it's easy to just forget the damage that was done from the last time. It's like that movie Groundhog Day where the guy gets stuck in this loop and the day just keeps repeating itself. For you, if you're not proactive, each manic episode could be just another day starting all over again. And you may be able to deal with that, but the people in your life won't. Okay, I hope this helped you understand what's behind the hypersexuality
in bipolar disorder. Discuss this with me in the comments. I'm very interested to
hear about your experience, whether it's happened to you or whether you know someone
who, for whom this has happened. And, of course, you can
always just say hi as well. See you next time. ("My Harlem Days 1")
I have that issue...both...and it's hard. I just now at the age of 45 have put it all together. Now I'm making progress