- Let's start with you. Tell us what's going on. - So the first thing that happened was when he took out the 401k. He took it out to start a
real estate business deal. And it trumped, it went bad. And reason why that was so bad was because we had just had a baby. In between that I had
been diagnosed with cancer and then we had another baby, and then we had to finish up the cancer. So, we had all these medical
bills that had piled up. The second deal that went bad, or the money thing that went bad that he didn't tell me
about was two years ago, he quit his job and didn't let me know. It was like, he came home, was like, "Hey, I gave a two
weeks notice at my job." And I was like, "Okay." So that's the two big things, financial things that have happened. - So, Marqus?
- Yes. - What, how did all... (audience laughs) How did this happen? - Well, as the primary
breadwinner of our family, sole provider, I take it,
it is my responsibility as a husband, father, in our
family to make sure I provide, protect and do every, any and everything for our
family and for our boys. So, going into our
second year of marriage, preparing for our second son, I figured, "Hey, I earned some money, got 401K, I've been trying to learn
real estate investing. So I was like, I got this
money just sitting to the side. Let me put it to some use. So, I took that money out of 401k, put it into a real estate deal. That deal totally went left on me. We also, I also had to
file for bankruptcy. I had to let go of my investment property and that foreclosed, it was rough. It's been very hard.
- Very hard. - So, after our third son was born, we figured out it was just
best that Chere would stay home with the kids because
the price of daycare, just her check alone was
covering daycare and gas just to get back and forth from work. And it's like, it wasn't
worth the added stress. Chere would tell me like, "You leave home as one version of Marqus, but you come home totally different." And it's a version that
she never wanted to see. So, I had to check myself a lot before I even set foot in the door. But it got to a point we
were able to sell our house. The house that we were living at the time, we made some money, paid off some bills, but we had a nice little change. And I was like, okay, now I
have a nice little cushion. I can take this money
and invest into myself and start a, and really go
about my real estate business. And really focus on it and give it the
consistency that it needed. And on my way to a business
meeting in Charlotte for my current employer at the time, Steve, your book "Jump" had just came out. I listened to "Jump" on
that four and a half hour, five hour drive back home. I completed that thing. And within that week, I mean you gave me all
the motivation I needed. - He said, "This is your fault." - I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that at all. - [Chere] He read it and he jumped. - It is all on me. It is all on me. I'm not saying that at all.
(audience clapping) I'm not saying that. But when you hear things in life, you feel like it's a message
directed towards you. - I'm just trying to understand how all of a sudden this interview. (audience laughs) On the way to Charlotte, you know, you had already made up your mind. - [Marqus] Oh, you right. - Had took this money off this real estate at the sale of this house. You was going. - [Marqus] Yeah. - You was already going. Don't put this on "Jump" now. - I didn't. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not
putting it on "Jump," but. - All right, let's start talking about where Marqus went wrong. - [Marqus] Yeah. - When he started this business. Now Farnoosh, where do you
think Marqus went wrong? - I encourage you to want
to continue this ambition, but it's really important
that you take care of your household finances first. That they are locked solid so that you could do this
business with more sense of, you know, I can take some risks and fall. Yeah, I will, but my house
is going to not crumble as a result of it. - What are some of the tips
that you could give Marqus? - So the first tip, and I love this tip, I think everyone will appreciate this, is that you don't need a lot
of money to start a business. You cashed out your 401k, not necessary. The most important thing in the beginning is to invest your time and that's free. There're also, speaking of
free, resources out there for you to latch onto. The SBA has resources,
free online classes. Score is also an organization
around the country. They have an office in Atlanta. You can actually go in and get a coach who will work with you. So invest time, not money. Secondly, keep your day job. You wanna give yourself the
bandwidth to try to experiment and take on some risk without really compromising the home life. And then last but not least, really create a divide
between the personal life and the business life. Have your own checking
account, savings account, as well as credit card. Same for the business. But all the while, where you really need to be
aligning is the communication. You both need to be understanding what's happening on both sides. And if in the event your
business needs more money and you need to take it from your savings, how's that gonna work? What's that gonna look like? Have that conversation. (audience clapping) - Okay, let's go to Spirit. Now they say that they're
on the brink of divorce. The question to you is, can their marriage be saved
from this point where they are? - Well, I wanna say absolutely because any two people
who work hard enough to make something work can, but I wanna know the number. When you say that he took
money out of the 401k and you're just learning about it, how much money are we talking about here? - 25K, 25,000. - You said that you wanted
to protect and provide. - [Marqus] Sure. - And what you did was
you stole and you exposed. - Mm. - And so, there are some real issues here. - [Marqus] Okay. - So I will not say absolutely. I will say we've got a lot of work to do. - Sure. - Look, we can beat this guy up all day. But in I understood
where he was coming from. - [Chere] Yeah. - Because I'm that guy. - Yeah. - The mistake that was made
was not sharing it with you. You could handle it a lot better. And I think you realize that now, Marqus. - [Marqus] Most definitely. - Had you shared it with her. - Yes, sir. - So I understand. I can get him. 'Cause what Marqus is, he a comer. See, I was a comer. It just ain't nobody see me coming. Spirit, I know that
you've got a few questions for the couple, so take it away. - How do you feel about
what your husband has done at this point? - It makes me feel like
one of the kids sometimes. Like I'm living as like a daughter or not so much as like a wife. He's not a bad guy. He is just, it's just the
communication that lacks. - Have you apologized to your wife yet? - Most definitely. Most definitely.
- Yeah. - And have you forgiven? (Chere laughs) - I know the answer to that. You can look at my face, hell no. (audience laughs) - The trust has been broken much like any other form of infidelity. You have a lot of work to do in terms of building a partnership, reestablishing trust and intimacy, and figuring out where you go from here. - Yeah.
- Most definitely. - Okay, so how can they remedy
all of this and move forward? - I would say formalize it. Every week, every month for a while, have formal meetings where you sit down and you talk about your goals. Once you get used to having
those fluid money conversations, it's not gonna become a challenge anymore. It'll just come out. And you have should never feel intimidated to ask any kind of questions. There is no dumb question. You're not the child. You are an adult woman. And I would just wanna
give you some advice, too. As a stay-at-home mom, you're taking on a lot
of responsibilities, but think about your exit strategy when those kids are now
full-time in school, how are you gonna get
back in the workforce? I want you making your own money, okay. - [Chere] Yeah. - Very important for women to have financial
independence in a marriage, outside of marriage always. So I wish that for you. - [Chere] Okay, thank you.
- Sure. - You guys are in Atlanta, I'm in Atlanta. So, I would love to extend to you the opportunity to work with me one-on-one in some real family counseling
for you and your family to get you guys back on track. (audience cheering) - Do you think, do you think you could keep Chere in the loop of what's going on and get her abreast of what's happening? Would you have a problem with that? - I have no problem sharing. - I think what both of
them are saying is spot on. You a good guy. She knows that. But good people make bad
mistakes all the time. But now, in order for this to work, you got to forgive him for real. Forgiving is not forgetting, but you can't bring it up no more. I don't want to see
y'all break up over this, 'cause y'all got too much. So listen, Farnoosh is one
of the keynote speakers at my Vault Conference on
May 17th through the 19th. This conference is a learning
hub for future leaders, entrepreneurs, and corporate visionaries. That's what I created it for. And because you're going to
start doing things together as a couple, I'm gonna be
giving you all two tickets to attend my Vault
Conference in Los Angeles. (audience clapping)
- [Chere] Thank you. - And I'm gonna cover your airfare 'cause I know you don't live here. And I'm gonna cover the
two nights at the hotel. How's that sound? - That sounds awesome.
- Awesome. - So, we gonna do it. We gonna start right there. (audience clapping) Hey listen, I want thank you all for sharing your story with us. Very courageous, I think. Hey, you made it to the end of this video. I got a lot more that you're gonna enjoy. So, just click to watch the next one and make sure you subscribe to
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