Translator: Lis Geraci
Reviewer: Aari Lemmik What do you do? When I first started my own business, I thought I had to go to networking events and all night long,
I'd get asked that question: "What do you do?" So I would say, "I have a hoarding clean-out business." And I would have to enunciate
the "d," or it was mistaken, (Laughter) for "whoring!" So now, I tell people, "I work with those who are suffering
from hoarding disorder, like Jim." Now, when I meet Jim,
I'm standing on his front porch. And this is the sign that I'm seeing. [Danger] [It is a crime to occupy
this building or remove this sign.] The city has given him
his last attempt to stay in his home, and I'm there to see if I can help. And I sit with Jim
and he starts to tell me, "I don't know how I let it get this bad. I've tried so many times to clean it up,
but I can't make any progress. I was going to see a therapist,
but I stopped going. And I could never even tell her
about the inside of my house. And actually, everything
has a purpose," he tells me. "It's piled high against my walls,
it's helping to insulate my house. "My furnace is broken and I can't let
the repair man in to fix it." I finally say, "I just need to go inside. I need to get an estimate to see
what the cost would be to clean it up." He says, "Go ahead in without me, I'm sorry for what you're about to see." Now, I go in, and I'm looking around. It's everything that you and I have,
just a lot more of it. But then, I make my way to the bathroom and I see several Ocean Spray
cranberry juice bottles. But to me, it looks like
they're filled with apple juice. And then I see bags, and they're tied up
and they're layered in buckets. And I get it; his plumbing is broken, too. It's urine and its feces. But some people see this,
they think it's dirty and disgusting, but it's resourceful. I go back out, I sit with Jim,
and I tell him - he's crying now - I say, "It's okay, we got this,
we can clean this up." I said, "It's not that bad." I tell him, "I do this every day,
I've seen much worse. You're not alone, and don't feel bad." We can choose to judge Jim
or we can choose compassion. There are 15 million people
in the United States that have the same disorder as Jim. It's two to five per cent
of the population, in the Denver-Boulder area,
it's 150,000 people and in this room, there could be 110. There are more people
with hoarding disorder than with Alzheimer's disease. But you wouldn't know it. They're hiding, silently,
behind closed doors. With the blinds pulled down,
they're afraid to come out, and they're afraid to let you in. Hoarding disorder is a serious
and complex mental illness, it's very difficult to treat, and there are many
different factors that go into it. Genetics, learned family behavior, and studies show that there's abnormal
activity in the brain, the pre-frontal cortex,
the place that's responsible for organizing, planning,
and decision-making. 75% of those with hoarding
also have a co-existing mental illness such as depression or anxiety. They don't want to live like they do. But when you hear "hoarding,"
what do you think? Weird? Lazy? Dirty or sad? Or, you wonder if you have a problem. You can't park your car in your garage, you have stuff you haven't used in years but you might use it someday,
so you don't throw it out. Or your wife has so many shoes
in her closet, you think she's a hoarder. Well, just know that the definition
of hoarding has four parts. The first one; it's an excessive
accumulation of stuff. The second; extreme difficulty
discarding your possessions and sometimes trash. Third; living spaces cannot be used
for their intended purpose. So you can't use your stove,
your kitchen table, or sit on your couch. And lastly, it causes
distress and impairment. So unless you meet
all four parts to that criteria, you're not one of the 110
persons in this room. But it impacts you anyway. Hoarding is a community problem,
and whether you know it or not, it impacts you. As a community, as a taxpayer
you are part of the solution. There are cities all over
the United States that are treating the symptoms
of hoarding disorder. And they're publicly shaming them with signs posted on doors,
with threats of evictions and fines and even jail. Take one of my clients, Mary. All of these government agencies
were involved in Mary's case over several years. It was the second time
that a cleanup company was called in to work with Mary to help her
stay in her home. And this is common. Because there's a 90 per cent
recidivism rate after a clean-out without mental health treatment. Just because we come in and clean it out
doesn't mean that the behavior goes away. So when I meet Mary, she's wearing
purple sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. She comes to the door,
and she's a little bit feisty. She doesn't want me in there,
but she knows that it has to happen. We work together for two hours
and I know this is going to take time. I tell her, "We're done for the day. I'm going to come back
the following Tuesday, and we'll start where we left off." I come back the following Tuesday. Mary, she has the same purple sweatpants
and the same grey T-shirt. But this time, after about 30 minutes,
she starts to crack a smile. And we're making progress. She's laughing, she trusts me. I tell her, "Mary, I've cleaned out your shower,
and put your dirty clothes in one spot. Your homework is to take a shower
and to do the laundry." So I come back the next Tuesday and you already know. Mary has the same purple sweatpants
and the same shirt. And now I'm worried. So I sit with her. I ask her, "Mary, what's going on?
Why haven't you taken a shower?" She says, "I can't. It burns, it hurts,
I think I have an infection. And I haven't been able
to go to the doctor." Then I ask her about her laundry. She says, "I'm afraid. I was raped by two guys
in the laundry room, and I've been afraid to go down there." We can choose to judge Mary,
or we can choose compassion. And there's a whole community
of people like Mary and like Jim, who are being judged and misunderstood, and I know why I'm drawn
to this work and to this community. I know what it's like to be embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid. Just like they are. One night, when I was 19,
I was a statistic. Teenage pregnancy, unwed mother. To make matters even more dramatic, I had twins. To make matters even more dramatic, the father of the twins is black, we lived in rural Texas, and he was abusive. One night, I felt
like a scene out of a movie. I found myself trying to escape. From Texas to Denver on a Greyhound bus. I had two babies, six months old. One diaper bag, and 500 miles
to go for safety. I'm shaking and I'm afraid, and the pain of trying
to hold back my tears in public felt like someone trying to choke me. The babies don't know what's going on
they can't understand it, but they completely sense
and feel my fear, and they won't stop crying. And everyone on the bus is frustrated. They can't sleep, I'm ruining their trip. And it's only making it worse. And then, out of nowhere, comes a man,
he's dressed in army fatigues, and he just says, "Can I help?" He sits down next to me,
he takes one of the babies and she immediately stops crying
and she falls asleep. And then, he takes the other baby and she immediately stops crying
and goes to sleep. But I don't remember his name. The words, this is what
I remember him saying. He says, "Your babies are beautiful. I'm headed home to see my wife,
and she is black. And if we have babies,
they may they be as beautiful as yours." And I remember that moment 25 years ago. That moment, it changed
the course of my life. He could have judged me,
like those on the bus. He chose compassion. It's a choice. We can either choose
to judge hoarding disorder, or we can choose compassion. Because judgement and shame
perpetuates this illness. So just remember next time
you call someone a hoarder, it's not who they are. Look beyond the clutter. They are intelligent, and creative,
and funny, and generous. They are college professors,
engineers, artists, and entrepreneurs, just like you and I. Thank you. (Applause)
