The Problem with Treating a Dog Like a Pet | Kim Brophey | TEDxUNCAsheville

[Music] [Applause] [Music] we all have our stories about how we ended up in our respective fields my story not the one I tell colleagues and clients but the real story started in a strange but important place I remember being frozen when he would touch me cringing but unable to move I couldn't run couldn't get away and I didn't want to anger him by fighting so I did nothing nothing at all frozen what I felt didn't matter it was my place to be obedient to him he had the power not me I was his pet so I kind of had a hard time trusting other people my walls were pretty thick as a matter of fact the only time I really felt safe enough to let down my guard was when I was alone with my dog I didn't have to hide anything from her she was honest and kind I trusted her completely and she trusted me so it felt really crappy when I accidentally broke that trust I was excited to do what I thought would be something really nice for her when I took her to her first day of doggy school but I had done her no favor and taking her there I watched in horror as the instructor paraded the dogs one after the other in front of the class jerking and pushing them if they were slow to follow a command and I watched my friend's eyes turn to fear when it was her turn to be obedient and I saw myself in her like me she was completely frozen she wanted it to stop wanted to run away or fight it but she couldn't he had the power and I couldn't find the courage to help but I vowed that day that we'd never go back there that I'd stand up for her speak up for her I knew the hollow sting of powerlessness all too well what it feels like to have no control over what's happening to you and I made a commitment to her that it would never happen again see I felt I owed my dog a tremendous debt she's my suffering when nothing else could kept me from going off the deep end more times than I could count I owed it to her to ease her suffering in return when it was in my power to do so but it didn't stop there for me it couldn't I'd seen those other dogs be treated that way too knowing that so many dogs were routinely suffering such an Justices at the hands of us humans wasn't something I could just drop the fact that we all seemed to be culturally okay with treating dogs as if their feelings didn't matter in order to train them as our pets had disturbed me to my core it struck an all-too-familiar chord in me I hadn't been able to stop what had happened to me but I could do something about this for them so I studied applied ethology became a professional family dog mediator educator and dog behavior consultant I wanted to fix what was broken between people and dogs and I'm sure with every dog I helped I was healing myself a little bit too I ended up quite literally making a career out of trying to fulfill that original commitment my professional journey simply became a natural extension of this promise I had made to my dog but I'm not done yet I'm still trying to make good on that promise that's why I'm here to talk to all of you today you see the more I learned about dogs and people about the problems they were having sharing a life together in modern America the more discovered a surprising fact the blatant heavy-handed an aggressive mistreatment of dogs I had witnessed in that dog training school it was just the tip of the iceberg the problem was far deeper and more complicated in treating dogs as pets we'd all become complicit in creating a very serious and mounting situation one that was taking a tremendous toll on millions of dogs and the people who loved them and for some reason no one was talking about it let me give you a little scenario to start to paint the picture for you imagine you're walking down the street with your best friend you see a strange man approaching he suddenly becomes very animated and enthusiastic as he notices you he moves quickly in your direction like he knows you from somewhere but you don't recognize him at all he walks right up to you with his arms outstretched wide-eyed and staring intensely oh my goodness beautiful he explains without any hesitation whatsoever the man reaches out to touch you and caresses your face emphatically you step back but he doesn't seem to notice your discomfort he followed you moving closer and proceeds to run his hands over the top of your head through your hair and along your back heading you ask yourself how you would feel in this situation what you would do most of us shudder at the thought of being fondled by a complete stranger most of us would feel absolutely violated it's a pretty yucky experience to feel so objectified and cornered and yet most of us have been guilty of making dogs feel this way we don't intend to we think we're just being friendly when we pet a dog we me I know what you're thinking well yeah but dogs are different dogs like it good dogs do anyway right I mean dogs are our pets so it's different isn't it no it's really not yes there are plenty of dogs out there who think that every person walking down the street is their best friend and go out of their way to solicit and in any affections a hand has to offer regardless of who it belongs to but this isn't most dogs most dogs wouldn't feel any more comfortable in this kind of stranger scenario we were talking about a moment ago then you or I would so good intentions and all we're actually being quite creepy when we get all instantly touchy-feely with a dog we meet without the dog's consent but that's what we think we do with a pet see to us all dogs are supposed to be passive love sponges that's the definition of a dog and some dogs really are like this so we think all the other dog should be like them if they're not we think they must be broken we think they must have been abused mistreated or untrained we're also quick to label any clear resistance to physical contact with people growling barking biting as indicative of a bad dog when perfectly good dogs are often simply being provoked and then judged as a result of our own inappropriate behavior the truth is most people aren't having dog behavior problems any more than they're having human behavior problems we forget to mind our own manners we do what makes us feel good because that's what we think doggies are for we forget our dogs have feelings too but the science is in we now know if we ever doubted the dogs do have intelligence and feelings that they have rich emotional lives as we do animal emotion and intelligence has been repeatedly observed researched and documented in countless species since at least the 19th century when Darwin himself published the expression of the emotions in man and animals yet not until more recently has the animal experienced been more widely accepted and brought to light in the mainstream by such modern authorities as Temple Grandin Marc Bekoff and Carl Safina our dogs are clearly no exception to this science they do think and they do feel our dogs desperately need us to take a good look at what's happening to them to stop for a little reality check so here it is we have been told a myth as pet dog consumers and clients that it was all how you raise them that if we followed the blueprint for the perfect pet that the market pitched to us with the right provisions and training and pedigree that they would be our blank slate puppies upon which we could write whatever we wanted it's a very nice fantasy but it's not true what is true is this dogs bite an estimated 4.5 million people a year in the u.s. and the ASPCA estimates that about 3.3 million dogs enter US shelters every year with their owners citing behavior problems as the number one reason they're giving their dogs away what if this pet dog myth and the erroneous thinking and habits that go along with it goes way beyond how we make a given dog feel when we touch him what if this pet idea is actually at the heart of so many of the larger cultural problems with dogs to the growing numbers of unwanted homeless pets the rampant puppy mills producing dogs in horrific conditions the threat to family and community safety in the face of dog bites and attacks could it be true it's hard to imagine I mean we love our dogs almost more than anything in this country we have such good intentions how could treating dogs as pets be responsible for so many of these larger issues why would we have gone along with something that would hurt them if we love them so much well we have lost our canine common sense and accidentally fueled these larger issues for a few very legitimate reasons reason number one because we are biologically primed to be stupid about dogs when we see a cute puppy dog we get a little hit of something called octo oxytocin is what's often referred to as the love cuddle or feel-good hormone making us all googoo gaga over stuff it's released in the bodies of social animals like us humans during nursing intimacy and other bonding between social members and it packs a powerful punch to the system triggering a dopamine rush and activating the reward center of our brain we can get a little stupid when we're high on this stuff oxytocin can take us over make us act like complete idiots and forget important boundaries behaving impulsively or inappropriately as we giggle blush and gush our affections all over the place we can get so triggered with this kind of hormonal stupidity when we see a dog that we're inclined to act the fool and think nothing of it I'm not saying I'm immune to it by the way I've just learned how to contain myself at least until I get the green light from the dog that I'm good to pour it on thick we're easy targets when we're under the influence of oxytocin if we're not careful that brings us to reason number two we're primed to buy whatever they're selling when we're in doggy lala land so we bought this whole pet dog pitch with a fever we have been conditioned by a multi-billion dollar pet product and services industry that encourages our over simplistic delusion that dogs are just our little pets that way we'll buy in and get them all those products and services they need that will make them good pet dogs then they should get in line with our expectations that seems logical enough to us they should be grateful for all these things right aren't we they're masters after all reason number three since we were told a long time ago that we had dominion over our dogs it seems reasonable that they should be good little minions especially if we're nice to them they're dogs we dominate them and they're here to serve us but they never got that memo so even after all of our generosity is their masters they still might not obey our every way and measure up then we often give up even if we are heartbroken about it we give the dog away thinking we must have gotten a lemon or damaged goods one more dog in the unwanted pet pot so then we're set up for another sale and reason number four there's even more money to be made on our pet fantasy delusions selling dogs as products themselves when we do give up we often go looking for another pet we go dog shopping we're total suckers all doped up looking at cute pictures of puppy dogs and descriptions of sweet dispositions that will fill the hole in our hearts with unconditional love that's why we're keeping all those breeding operations and puppy mills in business you see many breeders aren't exactly helping when it comes to dispelling that fairy tale myth about the perfect pet dog they're selling us like any good salesman marketing a product many breeders simply tell us what they think we want to hear nobody really tells us that many breeds of dogs are inherently predisposed to all kinds of behaviors we actually have little tolerance for in our pets so the dog and we get set up for failure from the jump as we swim upstream against those genes or don't adequately provide for them we reach the end of our rope when the pet gig we gave him isn't working out so well when all those products and services haven't been able to turn him into something he is not the dog snaps must be another lemon and so it goes on and on the pet tail keeps wagging the dog we have yet to step back and examine the bigger picture if we really want to break this cycle here's what we need to do dogs have four legs and I think it makes sense to look at them that way as a whole animal I developed the dog legs model in order to give us a simple and practical framework in which we can see the complete picture of what's really going on with our learning how you raise them apart is indeed critical but the whole concept of training them needs to be redefined the whole idea of obedience reinvented into a kind of reasonable contract of terms between two species having a relationship we can and should do our best to explain to them how this whole modern pet dog thing is supposed to work in a way that makes sense to them we do have one heck of a responsibility as their teachers learning is a really big deal but it's just a quarter of the story context always matters to their environment what is happening in a given moment and on a daily basis for our dogs is they encounter their world and everything in it is an inescapable and constant yet ever-changing factor in their lives it's crazy to expect our dogs to be impervious to everything that happens around them and to them and just merrily roll with every punch we can't ignore their genetics either dogs are biological animals genes matter and we've got to know what our dogs DNA brings to the table traditional DNA testing our heritage software like the dog key I developed can help to fill in this genetic blank for us without this piece of the puzzle it's really difficult to have a realistic starting point for our expectations about their behavior we also know that each dog is one in a million his distinctly unique individual self has a lot to say to his age and development sex and hormones health and wellness even random quirky likes and dislikes all play a significant role in his overall experience and their 4 years inside every dog is a world and a self that's his and his alone each dog is incredibly complex and dynamic with all four of these legs working together in every moment so much more than just a pet there's a whole dog there wagging that tail I know what it feels like to be minimized objectified and treated as something less than I am as I'm sure many of you unfortunately do too we don't want to accidentally do this to our dogs so please keep loving your dogs as deeply as you do spoil them rotten delight in their antics share affections and bonds with them that put many human relationships to shame and help me to fulfill the promise I made to my dog by standing up for them with me and raising the level of conversation about dogs beyond 1 about pets hold the pet industry and its professionals to a higher standard and raise the bar in your own relationships with your dogs as for me my story just keeps getting better and better every time one of theirs has a happy ending each wrong that's righted some just redemption for those who can't speak for themselves thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 506,415

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Animals, Ethics, Social Change

Id: 46ND3suK1y8

Length: 19min 15sec (1155 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 04 2018