Hugh Laurie Tells Americans What They Should Really Be Worried About

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MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A MULTI-TALENTED BRIT WHO AMERICAN AUDIENCES KNOW MOSTLY AS "HOUSE." HE NOW STARS IN THE T PSYCHOLOGICAL DRAMA, "CHANCE." >> A HOMICIDAL HOMICIDE DETECTIVE, YEAH, I WOULD SAY. HE KNOWS HOW TO GAME THE SYSTEM. >> HE IS THE SYSTEM. >> AND YET, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS PROBLEM CANNOT BE SOLVED. I WILL NOT. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME HUGH LAURIE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WHAT AN HONOR. THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> Stephen: WALK LIKE A MAN WHO TROD THE BOARDS. YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO TAKE A STAGE, HUGH LAURIE. >> DID I OVERDUE IT. >> Stephen: NO. >> I DID A LITTLE BIT. I WAS GIDDY. I WAS GIDDING WITH EXCITEMENT. IT'S SO INCREDIBLE TO BE HERE INSPECT LOOK AT THIS. >> Stephen: ISN'T IT A BEAUTIFUL SPACE? EXTRAORDINARY, ISN'T IT. IT'S AN HONEST-TO-GOD BROADWAY THEATER. >> THAT'S THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARE. >> Stephen: DID YOU-- DID YOU WATCH THE DEBATE BACKSTAGE? >> I CERTAINLY DID, AVIDLY. >> Stephen: AVIDLY? >> YEAH. >> Stephen: ANY QUICK IMPRESSIONS? >> PLENTY, AND I FEEL I HAVE TO KEEP TO MYSELF BECAUSE I'M NOT FROM HERE. >> Stephen: BUT YOU LIVE IN LOS ANGELES. >> BUT I'M NOT A CITIZEN. I'M VERY AWARE OF BEING A GUEST IN THIS BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY. >> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING BACK FOR? WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU. >> WELL, THANK YOU. >> Stephen: WHAT'S NOT TOS LOVE? >> WELL, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.RY HE'S UNSPEAKABLE. ( LAUGHTER )en ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )O HE'S ABSOLUTELY -- >> AND YET HE JUST KEEPS SPEAKING. >> AND YET HE WILL CONTINUE TOW SPEAK, IT'S TRUE. REALLY AN ASTOUNDING CHARACTER. >> Stephen: REALLY EXTRAORDINARY. YOU-- YOU PLAYED DR. HOUSE, OBVIOUSLY, FOR MANY YEARS, POPULAR ON TELEVISION IN THE WORLD FOR MANY YEARS. AND NOW YOU PLAY ANOTHER DOCTOR, ELDON CHANCE, ON THE SERIES "CHANCE" ON HULU. HE'S A FORENSIC PSYCHIATRIST? >> NEUROPSYCHIATRIST. >> Stephen: NEUROPSYCHIATRIST, OKAY. AS A FORENSIC NEUROPSYCHIATRIST, COULD YOU DIAGNOSE EITHER OF THESE CANDIDATES? ( LAUGHTER ). >> I MEAN, I AM PRETENDING IN THE SHOW. I DIDN'T STUDY -- >> I WOULDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. >> GREAT, GREAT, WELL, THEN -- >> JUST DAZZLE ME WITH B.S. >> I WOULD SAY-- I MEAN, IT MAY BE TOO LATE BUT FOR TRUMP I WOULD SUGGEST BREAST FEEDING. ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HE MIGHT TAKE YOU UP ON IT. >> I THINK HE MIGHT GO ALONG WITH THAT. >> Stephen: WARN THE WOMAN FIRST, THOUGH. >> YES, IT WOULD BE A CONSENSUAL TREATMENT, OBVIOUSLY. HILLARY I'M MORE PUZZLED BY-- I'M NOT PUZZLED BY HILLARY, I'M PUZZLED BY THE PEOPLE WHO HATE HILLARY HATE HER SO MUCH. I FEEL AS IF IT'S ONE-- AS IF I'VE COME IN-- I'VE MISSED THE FIRST REEL OF THE FILM WHERE SHE BURNED DOWN THE ORPHANAGE, OR SOMETHING. ( LAUGHTER ) AND THE WHOLE AUDIENCE IS JUST LIKE THIS. AND I JUST DON'T KNOW-- BUT SHE SEEMS FINE TO ME. WHAT-- WHY-- I DON'T KNOW. SO IT'S, OBVIOUSLY, A THING I'M NOT EAT. >> Stephen: IT WAS THE 90s. >> WAS IT. >> Stephen: IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME. WHEN SHE FORCED US TO WEAR THE PARACHUTE PANTS. HAMMER DON'T HURT HIM, THAT WAS HER. >> MY ONLY PRESCRIPTION FOR HER WOULD BE MAYBE A SOFT, VERTICAL STRIPE ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: GOING UP HER BODY. >> HER ENTIRE BODY. NOTHING TO DO WITH HER CLOTHES. HER CLOTHES, I JUST THINK THAT-- I'M GETTING-- YEAH. ) IT'S. >> Stephen: A LITTLE CLINICAL. >> IT IS A LITTLE CLINICAL. >> Stephen: ANOTHER AS SOMEWHAT OF AN OUTSIDER YOU DESCRIBED YOURSELF AS NOT REALLY FROM HERE EVEN THOUGH YOU LIVED HERE A LOT. PEOPLE ARE REALLY-- PEOPLE ARE MAD AND KIND OF DEPRESSED AND IS THERE ANY BRIGHT SPOT THAT YOU AS SOMETHING OF AN OUTSIDER CAN SORT OF SEE IN AMERICA, TO MAKE US HAPPIER? >> YES. YES. I MEAN, I THINK THIS WHOLE ELECTION HAS BEEN SOLD TO THE PEOPLE ON THE BASIS OF INCIPIENT DISASTER. AND I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY -- >> I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? ONE OF US WENT TO CAMBRIDGE. >> NOW, STOP. I HEARD YOU SPEAKING LATIN THIS AFTERNOON. SO JUST, YOU KNOW, DON'T PLAY THAT ON ME. ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: ( SPEAKING LATIN ). >> THERE GUAGAIN. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT. I DON'T THINK-- THE WORLD IS NOT AS GRIM AS PEOPLE-- THERE'S PROFIT IN SAYING THAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END, AND IT'S NOT ACTUALLY THE CASE. >> Stephen: EVENTUALLY IT WILL. >> I SUPPOSE, I SUPPOSE. BUT THE AMERICAN VOTER IS NOT GOING TO BE KILLED BY ISIS. I JUST SORT OF PROMISE YOU THAT. YOU ARE GOING TO BE KILLED-- ( APPLAUSE ) I'M SORRY. >> Stephen: THAT'S A CHEAP CLAP. >> IT IS. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE! ANYBODY! >> I'M SAYING THE AMERICAN VOTER WILL BE KILLED BY DIABETES, FOR EXAMPLE. ( LAUGHTER )TH I MEAN, THAT'S JUST A FACT. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. <i>( APPLAUSE ) AND --</i> >> AND WE HAVE KNOT TO FIGHT DIABETES WHEREVER THEY ARE. >> AND IF ISIS WERE HALFWAY DECENT AT THEIR JOB, THEY WOULD BE OPENING A CHAIN OF DONUT SHOPS. IF THAT'S REALLY-- BUT FORTUNATELY, THEY'RE VERY DIM, AND THEY HAVEN'T SORT OF WORKED THAT OUT. I THINK THERE ARE ALL SORT OF-- I WAS KAY CAB -- >> A CAB. NO LIMOS? YOU'RE A STAR. YOU'RE ONE OF THE BIGGEST STARS IN THE WORLD. >> EVERY NOW AND THEN I LIKE TO SEE-- NO. >> Stephen: JUST MAKING SURE. >> I WAS IN A CAB. AND THE GUY WAS LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR, AND HE SAID, "I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. I WANT YOUR ADVICE ON FINDING AN AGENCY." AND, OF COURSE, IT'S LOS ANGELES SO I THOUGHT EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE AN ACT OOBVIOUSLY, EVERYBODY. AND I SAID, "WELL, WHAT KIND OF AN AGENCY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?" AND HE SAID, "ONE WHERE I COULD MAYBE WORK AS A LOOK-ALIKE." AND I WAS GOING, "OKAY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK LIKE?" AND HE SAID, "WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M MIDDLE EASTERN." HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAID MIDDLE EASTERN, HE SAID MIDDLE ESATRIN. HE SAID,"I'M MIDDLE EASTRIN, AND, THEREFORE, I COULD GET WORK AS A TERRORIST." NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? THAT'S A WOMAN GOING, "HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?" THERE'S JUST NO-- THERE'S NO WAY TO-- ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: "DO THESE PANT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST?" >> EXACTLY. I SAID-- I SAID-- "CAN YES, I SUPPOSE YOU COULD LOOK LIKE-- "AND HE SAID YES, BECAUSE I'M MIDDLE EASTRIN, AND THEREFORE I COULD GET WORK PLAYING A TERRORIST IN FILMS AND TV SHOWS." AND I THOUGHT THAT IS SO WONDERFUL IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THESE GRAND COLLISIONS OF IDEAS AND, YOU KNOW, POWER PLOKS AROUND THE WORLD THAT OUR IDEA THAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO ANTH END, THE WAY MOST PEOPLE THINK IS, "HOW CAN I MAKE A BUCK OUT OF THAT?" I JUST THOUGHT THAFT SO-- IT WAS JUST SO INSPIRING IN A WAY. IT WAS SORT OF-- IT WAS SILLY BUT IT WAS INSPIRING THAT THERE WAS A GUY THINKING, WELL, THIS IS WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF ME AND THE WAY I LOOK, AT THE SAME TIME, I'VE GOT TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. I SUPPOSE I COULD PLAY A TERRORIST. I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS WONDERFUL. IT MADE ME REALLY ADMIRE HIM. >> Stephen: THAT'S THE SADDEST, MOST HOPEFUL STORY I'VE EVER HEARD. >> IT IS. >> Stephen: WELL, HUGH LAURIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. LOVELY TO SEE YOU. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> Stephen: "CHANCE" IS AVAILABLE ON HULU RIGHT NOW. HUGH LAURIE, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PAUL REISER.
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Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Views: 4,102,139
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: The Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Colbert, Late Show, celebrities, late night, talk show, skits, bit, monologue, The Late Late Show, Late Late Show, letterman, david letterman, comedian, impressions, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, celebrity, celeb, hollywood, famous, James Corden, Corden, Comedy, Hugh Laurie, debate, debates, politics, election, president, Donald Trump, Donald, Trump, Hillary Clinton, Hillary, Clinton
Id: tyODq3v64wg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 8min 18sec (498 seconds)
Published: Thu Oct 20 2016
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