Sneaking Into an Age Restricted Movie - Cinema Shenanigans

alright let me preface this story by saying I was a goody two-shoes back in school I never got into any trouble the only time I ever got detention apart from those BS whole class detentions that some teachers like to get if you're a teacher and you do that you need to stop if the only time I ever got detention was when the teacher thought I didn't submit the homework but I actually had done it it's just that she'd misplaced it because I submitted it three days early yeah I was that kid all right by the way she later revoked the detention which doesn't really work because I already served the time and she made me do the homework again so like she shouldn't I have gotten some kind of compensation anyway so my friend Adam some of you guys might remember him from the time I kind of got mugged well he was a huge movie goer he still is every new film that would come out if it's been more than a few days guaranteed he's already seen it so that's why in the clock back to some of 2013 it's near the end of August we've got less than two weeks before we go back to school as year ten students that's the away you're 14 turning 15 in the UK Adam and I decided we wanted to go to the cinema one last time before the holidays were over and we knew exactly what we wanted to watch kick ass to now I can't speak for Adam but I'd seen the original kick ass a couple of years before and I was blown away that was one of the best superhero movies I'd ever seen and they didn't even have superpowers like they didn't even have the power of affluence don't tell me Batman doesn't have powers the dude is a multi-billionaire that's the superpower if I ever saw one plus he got his back broken into by Bane did a couple of sit-ups and fixed it don't tell me this guy doesn't have superpowers so the trailer for kick-ass 2 comes out and Adam and I are hyped we are going to see this movie in theaters the big screen a couple of days before was set to see the movie I check the screening times that a cinema we're going to I'm scrolling through two times and I find a time that's early off the new and I'm like that's perfect but you want to know what else I see a big old red circle with the numbers one and five inside that means it's fifteen rated movie and remember Adam and I are still only 14 years old at this point and we're not turning 15 for quite a few months so naturally this put me in a state of panic I hit up Adam in the DM z-- I was like bruh he says what's goin on I say dude kick ass - its rated 15 that means we can't see the movie man this dude Adam he wasn't even fazed this is how I imagined him on the other end he was like mate don't even worry about it I saw the wolves and a couple of weeks ago with my friend they didn't even ask for age plus what's the difference between 14 and 15 anyway we're not that far off we'll pause so I'm like okay my guy Adam he's a frequent movie goer so I knew that he knew what he was talking about the day of the film we meet at the cinema and was stood downstairs debating whether we should buy tickets from the Machine or from the ticket clerk upstairs eventually you decide to buy them upstairs because although Adams fairly confident they'll let us through I was still on the hesitant side and would rather we found out we weren't gonna make it before we spent our money so we go up the escalator we walk directly to the ticket desk we stand as straight as we possibly can i deepen my voice as low as it can possibly go and I say hi ah can we have two tickets for kick ass too please ticket clerk goes how old are you guys 15 yeah I'm gonna need to see some ID dammit so Adam and I proceeded to do what every teenager in London does when asked for their ID we whipped out always two cards these are the travel passes we use to get free bus rides but they don't have your date of birth on them anyway so you can't use them as proof of age plus the picture on the Oyster card is taken when you're 11 years old so that's not gonna help your case in any way does this kid look 15 years old to you no he does not so as expected the clerk said sorry we can't accept waster cards but then he said something I couldn't have seen coming he do you have your passports on you bro this is Cineworld not London City Airport and on that note a quick life pro tip take a picture of your passport and keep it on your phone especially if you don't have like a driver's license or some other form of ID you can keep on you I've been asked for photo ID at the most unexpected times and you don't want to be that guy in a group who can't make it inside wherever you're trying to go because you don't have any ID anyway back to the cinema so we tell the guy that we don't have our passports and he's like oh yeah sorry guys I can't let you see the movie then next time take a picture of your passport keep it on your phone yeah he was a guy got the life quote tip from so Adam and I are back downstairs were slightly bummed out and we're thinking of what we're gonna do now the thing about the cinema we were at is that there's actually another cinema not too far away maybe a 20 to 25 minute walk so we checked the screening times for that cinema but their next kick ass showing wasn't for another two hours and as much as we both wanted to see the movie we didn't want to wait that long so we looked at what else was showing and we found that they were screening monsters University in about 30 minutes which was alright but we weren't really in the mood to see a Pixar movie that day like we were hyped up for kick-ass you know we wanted action with violence and swearing and sexual references yeah now we didn't find anything else quite like that but there was a new action movie out called Elysium made by the same guy who made district 9 we watched Jeremy Jones's review of it on my phone and he gave the movie an awesome tacular his highest rating so we were like oh damn okay yeah let's watch this instead we looked up the screening times and they had a showing in the other cinema in about 45 minutes and then are you joking why are all the good movies 15 rated under 15 are people - I believe God of War when I was 10 years old come on hmm long story short we were watching monsters University so now Adam and I were double bummed out and we were walking towards the other cinema it wasn't too bad though you know monsters Inc was my favorite Pixar film and I was planning on seeing the sequel someday anyway it's just that I wasn't expecting to see it that day we were talking on the way over there and then I had an idea come to mind now the thing about people who are goody two-shoes is it's not that we don't have devious thoughts it's just that when we have these thoughts we never act on them so as we were walking I had a brainwave I was just thinking out loud and I said hey imagine if we bought tickets to see monsters University go past the cinema clerks and then just went to Elysium instead Adams eyes lit up he was like hey that's actually a good idea now the thing to understand is I was 90% just hypothesizing I was saying what if Adam was serious and although I was pretty nervous about the whole idea I was kind of excited about it too so he eventually reached the other cinema about five minutes before monsters University was due to start and 20 minutes before Elysium I go in line and bought two tickets for monsters University while Adam checks the board's to see what screen Elysium was showing on and then the games would begin we didn't get any snacks no drinks nothing we didn't want to be burdened by popcorn and hot dogs whilst we were trying to carry out covert operations we went to the ticket inspector they led us through and we headed up two escalators to the second floor of screens Elysium was showing on the first floor but since we were early the door wouldn't be opened yet so we decided to wait in the screening for monsters University until it was time we were seated around the edge near the exit we sat through all the adverts - reminder to turn off your mobile phone etc they then showed this short about umbrellas like there was this blue umbrella and it was surrounded by a bunch of black umbrellas and there was also this red umbrella and the blue umbrella and the red umbrella fell in love it was weird but I liked it and when monsters University was about to start I was thinking to myself you know what I'm pretty comfortable right now plus I still wasn't a hundred percent sold on the whole Elysium plan so I leaned over to Adam and I was like yo maybe we should just stay here you know I mean Adams head turned he was like what have you forgotten the mission everything him should be spying now come on and he dragged me out of my seat so we were headed down the escalator towards the showing of Elysium and we reached the first floor of screens now to properly illustrate what happened next I literally have to illustrate say for you one second this is the top down lay out of the cinema floor it shaped like a donut this is the central barrier you try to hop over this you'll fall maybe all that now you reach the floor via the escalators and enter through the doorway here there are eight screens on the first floor and right opposite the entrance is where the toilets are for the sake of this demonstration I am the blue marker and Adam is the yellow marker now Elysium was showing on screen eight atoms started be lining it directly towards the screen and did not look at anything but the entrance of screen eight on the other hand decided to take a cursory glance at the floor and I noticed something that Adam hadn't something very important like change of plans important there was a third person on the floor and not just any person this dude was wearing uniform he was an employee and he was right here now if Adam and I were walking towards screen eight this dude was walking around the opposite end towards us Adam had still not noticed this guy but I could see him eyeing us up so as we were both pulling up the screen eight I pushed Adam on a little further so that the cinema clerk wouldn't see us actually go in so now we were right here by the toilets Adam was understandably very confused by what I did and so he turned to face me somehow still not seeing the cinema clerk and now he was facing the complete opposite direction in my head I'll thinking less weight inside the toilets until the cinema clock goes away and then we can go into Elysium but obviously Adams not a mind reader and with the cinema Kirk now being within earshot I had to be as discreet as possible so when Adam was asking what's going on I was like hold on hold on no no no Nala this good tutorial quick by this point the cinema clerk unbeknownst to Adam was now directly behind him and Adam obviously being very confused by my actions proceeded to say the worst thing he could have possibly said in that moment but I thought we were going to sneak into Elysium my face dropped I looked straight at the cinema clock I looked at Adam and I pulled him into the toilets as quick as I could as soon as we were in there I was like Adam he said what happened I leaned over I pointed I said you see that employeer outside over there yeah he was right behind you when you said we were gonna sneak into Elysium Oh Adam and I hidden those toilets for 10 minutes the whole time I was freaking out I was thinking no I don't want to go to jail I'm a good boy eventually we leaned to see if the guy was still standing where I was before but he wasn't there anymore maybe we wouldn't be going to jail after all we step out of the toilets take a look to our right and standing there is the cinema clerk with his arms crossed and an expression that says take a step in this direction I dare you suffice to say we took the opposite way around obviously later and back to monsters University okay we're done with this now our plan had failed miserably we were now triple bummed out and we had missed to the opening 15 minutes of monsters University things weren't going our way that day but once again I settled in my seat and tried to get comfortable less than 10 minutes pause I feel a tap on my shoulder it's Adam he whispers to me says hey man you don't reckon he's still there do you who stood at the cinema club could floor one I immediately started shaking my head I was like no we can't do this again man let's just watch monsters University man chill Adam says but we performed see Elysium come on if he's still there we can just come back so against my better judgment I agreed to try again so we headed out of the screen and down the escalator to the first floor we edge towards the doorway and we thoroughly scanned the floor to see if anyone else was there and you know what we didn't see a single other person the coast was clear we've race walked towards the door for screen eight through the inside walkway and we had made it to the screen as expected the movie had already started and all the seats in the back were taken so we had to sit near the front in like Row two or three but never mind that we had made it at last it seemed that we had only missed maybe the first 15 minutes of the movie and we were able to enjoy the rest of it in blissful peace happily ever after hmm obviously not we were terrified our attention was split evenly between the movie and the exit because we knew at any moment we could be busted it doesn't help that at this particular cinema an employee will sometimes walk in and stand right by the exit staring at the audience it actually happened once during the film and when it did I shrunk into my seats and my heart rate went up 20 fold I whispered to Adam I said Adam looked at me and he said yeah me too and your jackets not helping either let me explain so you know those high-vis vests that people wear at night and on construction sites and whatnot you know that reflective silver material they have on them yeah well imagine a jacket made entirely of that reflective material basically I was cosplaying as a disco ball for the sake of authenticity this was the exact jacket I was wearing clearly not the best attire for covert operations luckily for us we weren't caught and we were able to see the entire rest of the movie it turned out to be pretty decent maybe not an awesome tacular I think Jeremy John's mouth overshot it on that one but still a good film once it was over and people started leaving the screen we tried our best to hide within the crowd in case there was an employee out there waiting for us and once we were in the lobby you know we had to cover our tracks of it you know that monsters University though yo that joint was crazy my guys Sully is a beast man to this day I have not seen monsters University we got out of the cinema we went home and we agreed to never do that again as for kick-ass 2 we never ended up seeing it in theaters but I did end up watching it once it came out on blu-ray it was like so the moral of the story is wait until you're old enough to see a movie and then go what nah not us that's lame if you if you're gonna commit a crime don't admit to the crime at the scene of the crime know that that is all either oh okay I mean need some help with it alright you are coming with me [Applause] okay I need some help with this give me a minute so Adam or shoot them all of the story be it's only illegal if you get caught [Music] you

Channel: tamago2474

Views: 801,809

Keywords: tamago, tamago2474, 2474, cinema, shenanigans, story, time, storytime, 15, rated, BBFC, sneak, movie, theatre, film, Elysium, monsters university, Monsters inc, tale, snuck, Adam, Simi, Adeshina, Simi Adeshina

Id: 8qoCSie_2Yg

Length: 18min 20sec (1100 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 14 2019