HOW TO WRITE HEARTBREAK AND BREAKUPS

hello everybody last week I announced a huge giveaway one lucky winner is walking away with seven hundred and ninety nine dollars worth of credits to use toward the 99designs platform so they can get their very own book cover design the winner is this person congratulations thank you so much for getting involved I will be shooting you an email in order for you to collect your prize so be on the lookout thank you to everyone who participated in my giveaway I feature at least one giveaway a month so you're gonna have plenty of other opportunities to win cool stuff and a huge thank you to 99 designs for running this giveaway on my platform if you want to learn more about them I have them linked below you can sign up for their email list in order to learn more about their cover design options I also have a discount listed below so be sure to check it out if you're interested in using 99 designs for any future book covers or any future book marketing images it's all in the description moving on valentine's day is right around the corner which means lots of people are about to be really sad because of this now seems like the perfect time to discuss heartbreak and breakups specifically how to write this sort of stuff so it crushes your readers this video is dedicated to one of my feet runs over on patreon Sylvia blue like many of you Sylvia has written a tearful breakup but she's not quite sure if it's gonna pack the kind of punch that she intended fear not I am breaking down the 10 tips for writing heartbreak and breakups specifically how to make sure the scene comes across as believable and authentic to the reader let's get to it number one breakups do not come out of nowhere many people argue against this point because a lot of times breakups do feel like they've come out of nowhere one minute you're happy the next minute you're dumped the thing is just because a breakup feel sudden doesn't mean it is the dumper has likely been thinking about it for a while and many times there are signs that we've missed either because we were busy or oblivious or blinded by love it's fine if a breakup comes out of nowhere from the characters perspective but nine times out of ten it should have come out of nowhere from the readers perspective that doesn't mean the reader should necessarily predict the breakup but there should be some hints that have been left along the way it could be recurring disagreements it could be a decrease in affection plant some kind of seeds for the readers because otherwise the breakup is just going to feel like a plot device number two one person isn't always to blame lots of fictional breakups focus on one evildoer someone cheated or was abusive or was an this is fine if it fits your narrative but relationships are usually a lot more complicated than one person being the good guy and one person being the bad guy sometimes relationships fail because both partners screwed up individually other times breakups happen for reasons outside the relationship entirely these factors are especially important to consider if you plan to get your characters back together no one wants to read about your character taking back a cheating piece of if the intention is for the breakup to be temporary make sure the offenses are either equal or justifiably forgivable no one person should be the bad guy similarly we have number three it's not you it's me lots of writers regurgitate the same dating woes particularly infidelity in order to move the story along but there are other options ones that might make a lot more sense to the story especially if your characters have a good thing going sometimes breakups happen in relationships that seem great and usually that's because one party in particular is having some kind of personal problem for example people have broken up with partners they adored because of mental illness maybe they don't feel like they can properly contribute to the relationship in a healthy way until they get their depression under control again these are avenues to take into consideration depending on the character's lifestyle and personality and whether or not you want them to get back together number four it ain't always a screaming match it can very well be a screaming match but that's not your only option a lot of writers create dramatic angry breakups and if that fits the situation have at it but a lot of times breakups are just a discussion yes there's usually crying or even sobbing but not all breakups involve violent rage or smashing windows but Jenna a screaming match is a lot more interesting to read it's interesting if it fits the situation if it doesn't it's gonna read like melodrama the emotional tone needs to fit the reason behind the split as well as the characters personalities otherwise they're just gonna look like a bunch of toddlers their diapers number five comb comes from three places some writers like to flip the script and go with the opposite end of the spectrum I want to write a healthy breakup so I'm going to make sure each party remains perfectly poised and calm no crying no name-calling just an honest composed conversation first of all showing emotion when you're splitting up with someone you care for is not an unhealthy thing to do it's perfectly normal to cry during a breakup it's normal to be angry if you feel betrayed second being calm during a breakup isn't the sign of a healthy breakup being calm during any situation that would normally make people emotional is usually a sign of one of three things one is shock the person is so taken aback that they've gone blank two is acceptance they saw the writing on the wall they already knew the breakup was coming and three is apathy they don't give a probably because they're not that into their partner if your character fits into one of these three situations then a calm breakup is probably suitable otherwise they're gonna come off as robotic number six everyone handles heartbreak differently a lot of writers ask me how to write heartbreak point-by-point as if there's some sort of one-size-fits-all formula that ain't how works look at the real world look at your past relationships look at your friends relationships I'm sure you'll see that everyone handles breakups differently for example a friend of mine handles breakups really hard she can be upset about a split for months on the flip side I'm an icy I usually need about one day to cry and then after that I try to move on but Jenna how do I know how my character would handle a breakup this is your job to figure out as a writer look at their characterization define how they handle hardship and struggle unfortunately if you're looking for a formula the odds are you're pumping out one-dimensional characters and you need to quit it number seven ice cream and chick flicks are cliched 90% of the time a piece of media depicts a breakup from a woman's perspective we get the ice cream and chick flick scene you guys know what I'm talking about I'm not seeing women don't do this I'm sure some women do but an entire gender is not a monolith we've got layers and personalities some of us don't like chick flicks some of us are lactose intolerant some of us would rather get drunk after a breakup this is not to say that you should not write the ice cream and chick flicks scene but you should only write it if it genuinely fits the character her having a vagina should not be the only determiner that goes into this decision number eight booty calls are cliched as well on the flip side and 90% of the time we see a breakup from the man's perspective we get the booty call he goes out and gets laid because the only way to get over his ex is to rebound again people certainly do this in real life but to believe that every single man on the planet does this is stupid it's not the most mature coping mechanism so if the action doesn't fit the character you're potentially coloring them in a very negative light again it's your prerogative to write a booty call but if it doesn't fit the characters personality it's going to look like the cliche it is number nine time heals all wounds with a few rare exceptions people typically require time in order to heal from heartbreak your character is not likely to wake up the next day perfectly fine and over it the emotions of heartbreak can manifest in several different ways depression sadness anger resentment denial I could go on but they're probably going to feel something even if they're strong and trying to move on they're probably going to have some kind of lingering emotion that lasts for awhile it's also important to remember that stalking X's or pining for unrequited love ain't cute a character who has dumped a year ago but is still clinging to their ex is not going to come across as romantic I know a lot of newbie writers like to go this route but it don't work sorry about it and number 10 show don't tell the number one rule for writing in 90% of scenes particularly emotional scenes is to show not tell if you want to break up to be impactful if you want the reader's heart to break alongside the characters you need to show it's not enough to say she was sad or angry show how that sadness and anger manifested itself within the character and within the scene think about your five senses how does the character's anger look visually maybe their eyes are narrowed or their jaw is clenched how does the character sadness feel physically did their stomach drop is their chest hollow or aching showing the emotion is going to make it a lot easier for readers to put themselves in the characters position and thus become invested in the moment so that's what I got for you today thanks again to Silvia for requesting this video if you'd like the chance to have a video dedicated to you or if you want access to tons of other awards check me out on patreon we have an exclusive writing group you get early access to videos there's a monthly live stream they're signed merch the information is linked below don't forget to subscribe to my channel I post new videos on Wednesdays and if you want to be alerted as soon as I upload ring that bell the savior's champion is available in eBook paperback hardback signed hardback as well as audiobook if you're new to audiobooks you can listen to TSE on audible for free I have all the info listed below and be sure to follow me on social media I'm on Instagram Tumblr Facebook and of course you can tweet me at Jenna maresi bye hey this is Nick the voice of Tobias and the narrator for the same his champion written by our Jenna if you enjoy her writing advice or if you want to find out about her publications then you know what to do click the subscribe button ding the bell you get notified every single time she puts up a video or she goes live now what are you waiting for

Channel: Writing with Jenna Moreci

Views: 41,022

Rating: 4.9808784 out of 5

Keywords: write, writer, writing, read, reader, reading, book, books, ebook, publish, publishing, author, novel, literature, romance, writing tips, writing advice, writing motivation, writing inspiration, publishing tips, publishing advice, Jenna Moreci, the savior's champion, the saviors champion, bestseller, how to write a book, tips for writing, tips for writing a book, tips to write heartbreak, tips to write breakups, how to write breakups, how to write heartbreak, heartbreak, booktube, authortube

Id: A_gDGEHwE6E

Length: 11min 21sec (681 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 05 2020