how to stop,give up or get rid of bad habits? | mufti menk | islamic lectures

my beloved brothers and dearest sisters if you look at the teachings of Islam every time there is something Allah has instructed you to do he asks you to do it more than just once besides the Hajj wherein he says indeed Allah has made it incumbent upon the people to fulfill the Hajj whosoever is able and capable to do it and the explanation of it teaches us that the compulsion is only once in a lifetime if you want to do it more than that and you are able and permitted then it's okay but the compulsory nature of it would only be once for those who can manage however if you look at prayer pray five times a day every single day you need a lot of discipline to fulfill that so there must be a reason why Allah wants us to be disciplined and fulfill it every day similarly when Allah created the night and the day he made it [Music] rotate Allah causes the night to go into the day and the day to go into the night when the night is long the day becomes short and when the day is long the night becomes short and so on these are part of the creatures of Allah moving and rotating in a way that will help us as humankind to be disciplined there is a night that will come this evening and Allah says he created night in order for you to recline and rest and day in order for you to to work so during the daylight you can see more clearly you are more well equipped to actually work hard and at night the bulk of us are resting besides those who have a night shift or those who are guards sometimes or those who are perhaps taking care of something important at the time the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says if you don't have something important to do go to bed recline it's better for you medicine will tell you that the sleep of the first few hours of the night is far more enriching than the Sleep later on and this is why we do believe in the notion early to bed early to rise etc etc etc it makes you healthy I don't know about wealthy but I do know Wise wealthy too my brothers and sisters if you get up early in the morning and you are keen on going to work and working hard with that dedication you become wealthy meaning you will not be a lazy person my brothers my sisters think about it for a moment when you give your Charities you are told to give them regularly the zaka is compulsory once a year every year you have to calculate what you're worth on a regular basis you are told to give out a daily Saka how is that this is something Allah wants from you discipline Allah wants you to do it every day you get up in the morning you make sure you are up because if you are not then it's only you to blame do you know that man's body is created in a way that it becomes used to certain things that it has made itself used to Subhan Allah it might sound strange but that's exactly how it is if you got yourself used to something chances are you're not going to be able to quit it in a long time you will need power you will need conviction you will need to be really strong to get rid of something that you want to get rid of that you got yourself used to people say if he's clocked 40 and he still has the bad habit chances are he's not going to give it up I want to tell you that that's not true if you have the willpower you can give it up now if you have the strength you can give it up now no matter what the bad habit is you can give it up you need the willpower you need the help of Allah you need to replace it with something that is going to occupy you in a better way fulfilling those who are alcoholics for example you can cut it now that's what it is you don't need to say oh you know I'm addicted I but you will have to change your habits you will have to change so much you might have to change your circle of friends you will have to change perhaps your phone number you might even have to shift out of the area if you're living in an area that is causing the problem sometimes you must identify the bad habit I have is it because of the friends I have then you've got to change them is it because of where I live then you've got to move out of there is it because of perhaps my usage of the internet then cut it out or make sure that you let someone in whom you are whom you look up to you let them in to what to your usage of the net they can go in at any time and tell you my brother my sister don't do this similarly when we talk of company do you know that sometimes your bad habits are there because those around you cheer you on no we can do it no let's just go it's just fun we'll just sit around don't worry you can come and sit we'll do all the sharing and whatever else it ising and you know what you can just sit around Subhan Allah but if you take a careful look my brothers my sisters it starts off with sitting around and you tell yourself and your parents and whoever else that you know what I'm just sitting around and relaxing but you don't realize Subhan Allah it's the beginning when shatan wants to trap you he has to use the similar concept that you use when you want to trap a rat what do you do you put cheese is cheese a good thing or a bad thing it's a good thing mashallah and the innocent rat is coming close to the cheese isn't the rat innocent Subhan Allah you might say no man it's been nibbling at my ceiling all these years mallah but to be honest then when it comes to bite it has to bite a little bit more it's not yet trapped then when it gets greedy and takes a bigger chunk and suddenly boom it's gone what happens trapped and out that's what shaan does to us you go the first time with your friends you gone to the club or you gone to the pub or you've gone to the casino or youve gone to whatever else it might be in a bad way wasting time and so on and they tell you don't worry you don't have to you can remain in your hijab or you can remain in whatever and you don't have you just come and sit around that's it we know that you are a little bit different and we know you're strict and mallah we admire you wow we admire you now that you're admired you're gone in and what do you do you sit and you take do you know that a passive smoker is worse than the active one do you know that a person who just lounging around sometimes is affected even more than those who are engaging in the crime itself Subhan Allah and then what happens the next time you go by the time you enter a third time it's a puff same concept as the cheese small little nibble and then the puff starts feeling oh that wasn't too bad something tells you in you that it's okay let me try a little bit more it might give me a kick brothers and sisters it will give you a boot that's what it will do will be booted out of your family your marriage and everything else your job and so much more so forget about getting kicked you'll be booted it's important for us to be strong nip it in the bud don't go and that's it change your friends they're encouraging you in the wrong way you need to make sure you have friends who take you to the Masjid we have Co and alhamdulillah restrictions have been lifted to a great degree we must encourage everyone to come back back to the Masjid we have to because people have now developed a habit what did I tell you at the beginning when you get yourself used to something they comes a time when you're going to have to use that power and be convinced and use your energy and force yourself to do the right thing for a while and then it will be second nature mashallah ask those who get up for Salat if you used to getting up for Salat with your alarm clock the day you didn't set it for some reason you you will still be up 5 minutes before the alarm and then there comes a time when even when you set that alarm 5 minutes before the alarm you're up and you got to turn it off so it doesn't disturb everybody else I see some of the brothers are smiling here because you know what I'm saying that's a plan of Allah your body is more sophisticated than any computer let forget about 5G it's about 20g I think Subhan Allah Allah grant us goodness it's so complicated Allah Almighty knows that's the reason why he makes you do things every day he says get up before the sun rises next day get up before the sunrise next day get up before the sun rises the week later get up before the sun rises a month later get up before the sun rises when you're 50 years old get up before the sun rises when you're about to die get up before the sun rises why did Allah say that discipline he wants you to do certain things you may know some reasons and you may never know the other reasons but when you discipline yourself for the sake of Allah you will lead a very content life very happy you will be the happiest person yet you've never touched a drug yet you don't smoke or drink yet you don't have bad habits but you are a happy content person you know why you are focused on the right things in life I'm focused on a job day in day out I will do that and I will enjoy it and I will make sure when I get my money the salary I don't just blow it but I plan I budget and I make sure that first I pay my rental then I I pay for the food and drink and so on and my my family members and then I save a little bit if I can and alhamdulillah rather than ooh today I got my first paycheck so what are you doing with it oh what did I do with it you mean it's gone already you haven't even told me about it and it's out that is bad you might have started that way but don't let it be a habit a habit is something you got yourself into I promise you don't blame someone else for your bad habits they are yours you will have to work on your bad habits no one else is going to be able to eradicate it but they will either prod you towards it or away from it may Allah give us good friends so that we are prodded away from our bad habits work hard replace it with something else occupy your time by coming to the Masjid by learning some lessons be it online or elsewhere when you waste your time do you know a lot of us spend so much time nowadays on social media simp simply because of the Corona virus that made us stay indoors now you've got your phone and you're just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling it becomes a disease it's a disease you keep scrolling because there's so much on there remember there are billions of people on Earth if half of them are online or half of them have posted online on the social media you're going to be occupied for a lifetime while watching watching watching then what happens you sleep late every day and every day you say to yourself I'm going to sleep early tomorrow tomorrow doesn't come when you're in your grave you can sleep forever Subhan Allah every night if you're a person who says I'm going to sleep early and the next day you're saying the same thing you have a problem you have an addiction to something it is wrong you must be disciplined turn off that phone at 8:00 9:00 no matter what the world says it's okay switch it off and you can turn it on at 8:00 in the morning or 700 are you prepared to do that I see people giving me the looks just as well you're wearing masks otherwise you might even give me your tongues may Allah forgive us but it's a fact we scroll every night and then we want to get up early morning for fuder and suddenly you're running and rushing you've either missed your F or you very late for it or you couldn't be bothered discipline get rid of your bad habits your life is very very short you might live for a few days a few more days only you can count those days 300 days 500 Days 1,000 days 5,000 days not more than that and in these little days I've got on Earth few days that I've got here in this world I must waste them in this type of thing with bad habits I'm going to go back to meet with Allah what did I do occupy your weekends with something good join a club of people who are going to meet the poor the widows the orphans perhaps the homeless those who are going to feed others look after the sick those who are going to reach out Community Affairs clean up perhaps whatever else it may be join them to do something constructive and see how you feel when you have a whole lot of friends who think similar you will really enjoy yourself especially when you're doing good things so be careful who you mix with from a young age we have bad friends those who are only interested in partying all day every day what is that do you really think that is discipline do you really think that that's what Allah requires of us do you really think that partying and drinking yourself drunk is actually going to bring you goodness and happiness and success in this world and the next not at all if anything go and study the people who are partying in that way they are all somehow unhappy and I'm just woring it respectfully they all have a problem that's not the way to success discipline yourself for the sake of Allah and watch your doors opening replace something bad with recitation of the Quran with the of Allah repeat the names of Allah repeat some of the words taught by the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam of Praise of Allah of Praise of the messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam send blessings and salutations upon him and see what it does to you sit down think about it say oh Allah I'm going to read this Quran for 10 minutes then I'm going to engage in salawat for another 10 minutes and I'm going to do this for another 10 minutes and then I'm going to make Dua for another 10 minutes and that's how I'm going to spend my day what's wrong with that that is actually spending it in the right direction but if you don't set yourself a timetable and you're not disciplined and you don't have a routine how do you expect to pass in Life or succeed in life let's deal with our bad habits my brothers my sisters again look at anything when it comes to the Quran you look at what the prophet wasallam says the best of the people are those whom they recite the Quran regularly and when they finish they start again when they finish they start again when they finish they start again Subhan Allah look at the Sunnah fasting every Monday every Thursday so your very focused on the week and you're very aware of what day of the week it is because you know it's a Monday I'm going to be fasting it's a Thursday I'm going to be fasting and it comes back the following week and the following week and the following week notice how it repeats because it wants Allah wants you to tune yourself you will know many of us don't even know it's a Friday we've lost track of the days of the week but those who are here forat very early every Friday ask them they already know they already know Friday is coming Juma they are up early they are looking for the small piece of cotton wool that they put a little bit of on and slun it in their ears have you seen that happening Allah grant us goodness I see the older people are smiling that's what used to happen way back that's not a Sunnah by the way it's just the action of some of the older people that we witnessed when we were growing up do you remember those little pieces of Cottonwood mashallah but those were the uncles who really took it serious how many of us my beloved youth you need to take over those younger than you need to see you what you used to do and they need to learn from you come to the Masjid and come and sit in the front and come early every day then you find all these little ones saying hey see that toppy there see that Uncle there see that Opa that's side there Subhan Allah that's what you're going to be called very soon they'll call you that when I heard my when I heard someone call me that old man I said oo now we're old Subhan Allah now we're old but that's that's how it is what goodness do you have that people can take from you come on you have to have it because you are part of the people on the Earth who have to leave a legacy the good habits come on you can do it how much Quran how much how much of do you do Subhan Allah or do you just pay lip service to it another thing my brothers and sisters one of the worst habits is the way we talk to each other cut out slang I promise you cut out slang try to avoid cheap language speak properly mashallah yes maybe perhaps a few words here and there of laughter it's okay no problem but remember carry yourself respectfully swear words abuse of words that is a very bad habit and you know what it goes down to your children and Those whom you mix with you swear fs and B's they will come up with swear words you won't even know what these words mean but these will be be swear words of the new generation Subhan Allah don't use bad words not at all replace them with good words that is the tongue of the shahada don't use it for something evil don't hurt people's feelings with it today we swear we lie we deceive we cheat we're abusive and we think we're good Muslims just because of one or two things no I'm a good man Subhan Allah you're a good man mashallah we're all good but we all need to work on our habits myself included another bad habit that people have is temper people get angry for small things you're getting upset to mask or not to mask vaccine or no vaccine relax there are two opinions it's okay follow the one you believe is right and love those who follow the other opinion what's the big deal your brother also your sister also it's okay it's just an opinion the world won't come to an end because of your opinion please nor will it come to an end because of the opinion of another it's okay relax you not the only person on Earth they also have a brain they were created by Allah You can disagree and disagree strongly with them like I do Subhan Allah and I'm not an antivaxer by the way but we love them we respect them it's okay it's one of those things I disagree very strongly but my brother I won't disrespect you I won't abuse you I won't harm you that's a bad habit that is dropping yourself lower and cheaper than you can imagine don't do that it's okay continue to talk about what you believe is right in a positive way and you will see the change you will see people's lives changing continue to do good that's why the prophet says the best of Deeds are those that are done regularly even if they're a little when you do something regularly you know we learned erosion when we were kids in geography at school and they show you how a huge Rock a boulder has a whole going straight through the center because of a certain because of water that's dripping every year throughout most of the Year from a certain point onto that rock what happens a droplet of water because it comes regularly and because it's there every day and because it's you know constant what happens it made a hole through the rock if a droplet of water falling on a rock constantly can make a hole through the rock trust me consistency in your I will grant you entry into the door of jat FD and Paradise small things but every day your door to Paradise will open the Hadith says the best Deeds are those that are regular even if it's a little that's why I tell you read a page a day read a verse a day that verse is more powerful than a drop load of water on rock for you and your Iman and your existence and your connection with Allah and it's very little no excuse you want to cut out a bad habit well you can chop it off now like I said or you can decide right I'm actively going to cut down like I have a lot of friends who smoke for example the friend part is not the smoking part but the rest of it is my friend right so so Subhan Allah sometimes from 30 a brother will come and say you know what because I'm so encouraged by what you've said I'm down to five a day three a day I say oh mashallah that's really really good Mah what amazing Pro progress so you mean I can stay with those three it's okay I said I did not comment about what you can stay with I'm only acknowledging there was amazing progress and if there is amazing progress you know and Allah knows where you stand so mashallah have you progressed now I want to end off by telling you something very interesting in fact I still have a little bit of time when you have a bad habit say pornography say adultery extremely bad in the case of adultery major sin in the case of pornography minor sin but it's still a sin and I want to tell you something when you have a bad habit of this nature and you want to eradicate it and you have told yourself no more a day will come when you might slip up again right you might drop again because you know what you're a human on that day don't think ah I blew it that's it now I'm back to my old ways you're not you're not back to your old ways no if you blew it one day at least you did better you used to do it every day before now it happened today but you're going to turn back to Allah immediately and say you you seek forgiveness once again and you're not going to do it again and you stop it so the gap between your falling would be bigger and bigger until a day will come when you will totally stop it you get the point Shan makes you lose hope so if you said right from today I'm not going to commit the sin anymore and a month later you dropped Shan says you see you back to where you were so then you you Shan might make you say well it's okay now I'm just going to go back cuz you know what I'm too weak and I I just can't do this no you can you can you will you shall and you must if you fell a month later get up seek the Forgiveness of Allah you might fall 6 months later how's the Gap bigger is that an improvement it's like smoking three cigarettes from 30 you see big Improvement after that you might fall a year later what happened you must get up immediately and promise Allah that you're going to stop it and you're not going to do it again that's the condition then you can eradicate that bad habit otherwise if you're going to give up every time you fall We All Fall We All Fall myself included we are human beings we will fall Allah wants you to be dedicated if you missed one Salah does it mean you must stop all your Salas no you might miss it even if you're regular with your Salah you're a human being the prophet wasam says you may sleep a little bit sometimes much and you might not realize that the time of Salah has crossed as soon as you get up fulfill your Salah or you might suffer with forgetfulness at a time it's possible you were busy doing something and you forgot that's a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam whoever sleeps over a prayer or forgets a prayer should fulfill it or should do the as soon as they remember as soon as they can it's a simple Hadith he didn't say that's a bad person because you're a human but the point I'm raising is in the same way when you are trying to get rid of a bad habit you might falter somewhere down the line don't let that be a means of you giving up but rather get up and continue for longer without that bad habit in the same way that if you were to miss a Salah you won't just throw in the towel and say no more Salah for me because I missed one but rather you will will make sure you do the you seek Allah's forgiveness you continue further and you try your best not to miss a Salah perhaps years will pass and you wouldn't have missed the Salah may Allah keep us all strong so these are some ways of eradicating your bad habits and remember your body gets tuned to something that you tune it to so tune it towards Allah not away from Allah if you have a habit of anything be it weed or whatever you need to convert it to something good start developing a habit of tajweed and inshallah you'll be okay right you need to change it with something the Quran I sit and sometimes I listen to recital that people send me online or on YouTube or elsewhere of amazing boys and girls from across the globe whose recitation is so beautiful that you can listen all night and you'll still be mashallah mashallah amazing beautiful what about us when you hear a good reciter pause it for a moment and try to repeat it no matter who you are you can be an old person only problem is if you smoke too much your throat might be a bit croaky but that's okay you can read beautifully mashallah beautifully try and imitate it Allah will be pleased with you imagine you're trying to read the Quran I'm doing a good thing it's okay have you tried it read the Quran in a melodious voice try it because on the day of Allah is going to ask you to read you can't just look up and say hey you know what uh I can't you can have you memorized a portion of the Quran the answer is yes we all knowah F we know a few other suras and so on so on the day of you may be asked to read that what you're going to do start reciting practicing from now in a melodious voice because that Hadith says you will only be able to read the way you used to read on Earth some of us don't even read Quran come on you can change that habit you know if you were to know what's going on and I'm sure many of you do if I know then I'm sure a lot of us here do the amount of effort that our boys and girls and adults are putting into learning moves of your foot and your hands and your head and the movement of your body just for tick tock the amount of effort that is being made to learn those Moves In order to create a 30second clipse you you need 1% of the effort in in order to become the most powerful reciter of Quran in the whole world did you hear what I just said and I'm not joking if you know anyone of your relatives or you or anyone else who makes an effort to shake your body and to learn the moves of your legs according to a certain sound of those who can believe they can fly and whatever else you must remember one thing that effort you only need 1% of it to be one of the top reciters in the the whole world of the Quran because the Quran is different from all of that with the Quran when you come towards it it will come towards you even faster when you make an effort towards the word of Allah it will make an effort towards you you know why because that's Allah's cam that's Allah's word and Allah tells us if you want to come towards me I'll Rush towards you you come towards me a foot I come towards you more you come towards me walking I come towards you rushing that's Allah make an effort with it imagine the amount of effort and I promise you whenever I hear of it or even see it in passing I tell myself oh Allah guide this umah and guide all of us to channel our efforts in the right direction every day we create videos to put on Tik Tok and to put on here in order to let people look at something and in order for it to be liked and viewed in a way that it's negative I think we can do the positive ones inshallah all of us you can use your social media in order to earn Paradise not in order to go the other way so may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy I think I've covered a lot of bad habits and I think I've also tried to mention how best we could eradicate these habits and get ourselves used to the right things Allah's created us in a way that you'll just keep on going and be happy with it and be excited and remember you won't become famous overnight we're not doing things to become famous the fame and the true Fame is when the Angels carry your Deeds every day into the heavens and then you're famous up there whose Deeds are these well this man or this woman or whoever it may be then you're truly famous even if you are unknown on Earth you're a successful person may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the goodness of this world and the next may Allah protect myself from bad habits and help me to eradicate my own bad habits and help me to focus on the right things and strengthen me in order to do the right things and with me all of us

Channel: ISLAMIC LECTURES

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Length: 30min 3sec (1803 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 20 2023