Hello, I'm Jamila Musayeva, an international
social etiquette consultant and the author of the book "Etiquette: The Least You Need
to Know." A lot of my subscribers have been asking me
to do a video on how to walk, how to sit, and how to stand properly. So, I decided to make a series of videos that
I've called "Deportment Video." Deportment is essentially the way you carry
yourself. It's just a fancy etiquette term, but what
it means is how you present yourself, your overall demeanor. The first part of this video was dedicated
to good posture and how to walk properly. This video is dedicated to how to stand elegantly,
how to sit elegantly, and how to pick up dropped items elegantly. So, if you're new to this channel, make sure
you subscribe to it. Please don't forget to like and comment. Now, let's talk about a good stance. By a good stance, I mean how we stand. Most of the time, if we're not walking, we're
usually standing, and it makes a big impression on people who meet us, especially if you are
at a reception or at some buffet party. You have to stand for the most part. So, your stance tells a lot about you, about
your personality, how confident you feel. As I mentioned before in the first part of
this video, good posture is key to everything: a good stance, a good walk, or a good seat. So, make sure you look at that video, know
how to have a good posture, and now let's continue on a good stance. I'm going to show you two kinds of stances:
ones that show you are a confident person. This could be very handy when you're going
for a job interview or when you're doing a presentation. You have to make sure that you give the image
of a confident person, the one that knows what he or she is talking about. So, in order to have that, make sure that
you place your two feet at hip's width apart. So, you occupy physically more space. Even in the animal kingdom, animals usually
try to extend their bodies to make themselves look more confident and more powerful. So, when you have your feet firmly grounded
on the floor, you will feel more balanced and more confident when you talk. This is a position for a confident stance. In case you want to show a more elegant image
of yourself, so your goal is to look more elegant, more feminine, then you have to do
a different stance. This is how you do it. First, you put your two feet together. Then, you place one foot behind the other,
so the ball of the first foot is touching the middle point of your second foot, the
one that is in the back. So, you place your feet like that. You shift all the weight to the back of your
feet, so this foot becomes almost weightless. You can check it by lifting it up. If you can easily lift it up, that means all
the weight is on the back foot. Now, as you're able to lift it up, make sure
to just place it back in. And instead of having your knees outward,
you tuck them in. You basically put them in. This position gives you a more feminine and
more elegant stance, and you visually look much slimmer. If that's the look you're going for, check
for yourself in the mirror. When you're doing this, you can see the difference
between a stance that's just straight like that, with your feet together. Put your hands on the sides and see how much
space you're occupying. Now, if you want to try the elegant dance,
put your feet backward. Your front foot stays in the front and there's
no weight on it, so you can lift it up. Then put the knee inward. Now, if you visually try to look, you will
now occupy much less space. So your body looks more slender and more feminine
in this position, rather than in this position. This tip will come in handy, particularly
when you are doing a group photoshoot. So if you are standing in front of everyone
taking a picture in a group, instead of just standing straight, just do a little bit of
a shift to the side. This will give you a better look in the picture
as well. Now let's look at how to sit properly. This is the technique I'm teaching all my
students, and it's very handy, especially when you go for a job interview and have to
shake hands with the person you're interviewing with while maintaining eye contact. Take a seat. This is a useful technique, and if you apply
it once, you'll be able to use it for the rest of the time. So what I'm going to do is step in, so imagine
I'm meeting someone but still have to take a seat. I'll walk backwards, without looking back
at the chair because that would mean breaking eye contact, which is something I don't want
to do. I'm going to walk all the way back, and as
soon as I hit the chair with my calves, I can also use my hand to make sure the chair
is right there to touch it. So when I sit down, I feel the chair and I'm
seated without breaking eye contact. When you are seated like that on a chair,
not completely all the way back, this position enables your body to lift yourself up much
easier without applying too much pressure. All you have to do is tuck your legs back
in and simply stand up. I use a lot of visual images when I teach
my students about etiquette rules, so this is another thing I tell them. When you're seated, imagine there's a little
kitten behind you that you don't want to squish. Having the image of a little kitten behind
your back or a little puppy will make it easier for you not to move your back to close the
chair. So if you haven't checked out my dining etiquette
video, make sure you do. That's where I talk about how to sit properly
as well. Sometimes a chair might have arms and it feels
like it has more room in it for the seats. Once you sit down, you can use the arms to
support you and move a little bit more backward and inward to the chair. That's permissible if the chair has arms. If not, then make sure you position yourself
in the middle of the chair so you can easily stand up when you need to do so. Now, let's talk about the legs. We always remember the good posture, always
remember to keep our head high or chin parallel to the ground. What about our legs? For men, it's important to make sure that
they keep their feet slightly apart, grounded firmly on the floor. No shaking of the legs, nothing, because that
translates into nervousness and anxiety. So, make sure you keep your feet straight
on the ground and slightly apart. For women who want to go for a confident look,
also do it the same way, but just make sure that your feet are a little bit closer together,
so your feet are actually together when you're standing still like that. So, imagine something like this, actually
Queen Elizabeth prefers this kind of set where she keeps the two feet together firmly on
the ground for a confident look. If you are aiming for a more elegant, more
feminine set, then there are three sets that you can consider. They're called The Royal seats. So, one is a Dutch slant, the second is Cambridge
cross, and the third is something that I call a mix of Cambridge cross and Dutch slant,
or so recently known as the Sussex sit, something that Meghan Markle has brought back but was
actually originally done by Princess Diana. Let's look at each one of them and look at
how we should position our feet in order to sit in one way or another. So, what is a Dutch slant? A slant means an inclination. So, Dutch slant is when you keep your knees
together, your feet together, and you incline them together to one side or another, whichever
one you prefer. Either you place them like this or you place
them to the other side like this. The second option that you have is called
a Cambridge cross. So, cross means you have to cross your feet. So, you keep your knees together, but you
cross them at your ankle, but firmly keeping your feet on the ground like that. This creates a lock, so there's nothing see-through
your skirt or dress that you're wearing. This is a very secure and confident seat. Another option that you have is something
that's a mix between a cross and a slant. You would have to cross your legs and then
slant them. This is something that was popularized again
by Meghan Markle. So, you would cross your legs, but you would
slant them to the side, creating an illusion of longer legs when you sit down. You can choose to slant it either this way
or that way. I just prefer it this way. So, whichever position you prefer to sit in,
make sure that you practice it a lot at home so it comes naturally to you when you're doing
it outside. I personally really like this kind of sitting
position, where I also like just a simple slant. Please do let me know in your comments which
of these seating positions is your favorite. I'm curious to know. The final segment of this video is how to
pick up dropped items. Of course, I'm not talking about heavy boxes
or books or things like that. I'm talking about things that you might drop
on the way when you're walking. So, when you drop something, make sure that
you bend not from your back, but from your knees. To visually see how it looks, if I drop an
item, instead of doing it like this, I will just sit down, pick up the item, and stand
straight up like that. Thank you so much for watching this video. I really do hope that you find these tips
and this information useful, and that you actually apply them in practice rather than
just listening to them in theory. And if you haven't yet subscribed to my channel,
please make sure that you do. I'll have more informational videos coming
up, and for that, I need your help. Please do comment and give me your feedback
on what are some topics that you would like to hear more about, and I'll be more than
happy to film it for you. See you in the next video. Bye.
